WrestleStock 2013 - Day One

[DrunkenBuzzsaw]

*A few hours before WRESTLESTOCK*

The feed from UGWC’s “Eye in the Sky” blimp looks down over top of New Orleans City Park. A great stage is shown at the top of the park, as stagehands hurriedly finish up their last-second checks, to ensure that everything goes off without a hitch come show time.

A few hundred yards below the stage sits three wrestling rings, with the two outer rings placed adjacent to the main one. Ropes are being tightened by the ring crew, as Nicholas Vinegar, Hans Lieberjosch, and Covert Jay, are going through a few handheld notebooks, ensuring that everything will be correct once WRESTLESTOCK goes live.

Lining the outskirts of New Orleans City Park are concession stands, game booths, autograph signing areas, and a litany of other things, too numerous to count. WRESTLESTOCK truly has something for everyone.

And people are already everywhere. A huge contingent of fans have already packed the area between the stage and the rings, and a long line of motorcycles sit in the very middle, their riders all wearing a very distinguishable cut that fans of UGWC are becoming all too familiar with.

The Devil’s Most Wanted. And its members are everywhere.

It is truly a fitting scene already, as this is a day that is not only part of one of the biggest wrestling extravaganzas of the year, but a day that is also usually filled with pure, unadulterated, chaos.

[DrunkenBuzzsaw]

*Show Time* - Day One: Chaos Championship: Pain & Chaos Meet

The camera feed opens to the main stage, where Goatwhore is preparing to play once more.

(When Steel and Bone Meet)

As Goatwhore finishes their set, the camera feed switches to the announcers table, where Nicholas Vinegar, Hans Lieberjosch, and Covert Jay are anticipating an action-packed event.

Vinegar: Good Afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to WRESTLESTOCK 2013!

Covert Jay: Huttah!

Vinegar: Thank you for joining us, once again, for one of the biggest wrestling and musical extravaganzas of the year. WRESTLESTOCK has been a huge success for us the last few years, and we look for that trend to continue once again, as we come to you live, here from New Orleans City Park.

Lieberjosch: Day One is always the day that sets the tone for the entire festival. Last year’s Day One was no exception. There is no doubt that we have big shoes to fill this year…as last year’s festival had so much star power, UGWC is lucky that it didn’t get sued for gimmick infringement. Isn’t that right, “Vin-Man”?

Vinegar: Hans, why don’t you get ready to suc..

Covert Jay: NINJA!!!

Vinegar: it.

Lieberjosch: Getting back to the matter at hand, defense of the Chaos Title at WRESTLESTOCK always leads to intense action, and memorable moments.

Covert Jay: Remember last year, guys…the Chaos Title was actually defended over the full three day period of WRESTLESTOCK.

Vinegar: Indeed it was, Jay, and it quite possibly was the damndest thing I have seen since I first got into this business with Global Impact Wrestling. Not to sound cliché, but if I had to choose one word to sum up what happened last year, it would simply be “chaos”.

Lieberjosch: For once, I agree wholeheartedly with you, Nicholas. This year could shape up to be just as good, however. Not only has Seito Risa fought with honor and courage since becoming the Chaos Champion, but little birdies have told me that we are in for some serious battles here today and tonight.

Vinegar: If you have some insider information that you would like to share with us, Hans, Jay and I are all ears.

Covert Jay: Speak for yourself, Nicholas. I’ve got “Beverly Hills Ninja” queued up on my tablet. Chris Farley was the MAN! I’m good to go.

Lieberjosch: Sorry to inform you, Nicholas, but unfortunately I can not disclose any insider information. All that I can tell you is…expect the unexpected.

Vinegar: It’s the Chaos Championship, Hans. And it’s WRESTLESTOCK! I always expect the unexpected.

Lieberjosch: Well if what I have been told is true, then you won’t leave disappointed tonight, Nicholas.

The sound of a revving motorcycle permeates throughout the festival grounds, and then "Mountain Man", by Juggernaught, begins blaring across the loudspeakers. Chaos and his Sergeant-at-Arms, Lucky, come riding down to the ring on their custom Harley Davidson motorcycles, as the crowd gives them a huge pop.

Vinegar: What in the world is Chaos doing here today? He’s slated to be one of the headliners for Day Three, when Eden Morgan defends her World Championship to cap off WRESTLESTOCK.

Lieberjosch: I could be mistaken, Nicholas, but I do not believe that Chaos pays much attention to rules or standards.

Vinegar: Well maybe he should start! He’s not fighting for the Chaos Championship here tonight, so there really is no reason for him to be here right now…at least not making his way into the ring, anyway.

Lieberjosch: Maybe you should go tell him that, Nicholas?

Vinegar: No…let’s just send Jay.

Covert Jay: Hahahaha, “and someday you will choke that chicken”. This movie is pure gold! NINJA CHOKE!

The two men have parked their bikes - one on each end of the ramp – and have made their way into the ring. Chaos goes to the corner turnbuckle and ascends to the middle rope, looking out into the crowd as he raises his arms high in the air, both middle fingers up. Lucky stands in the center of the ring, a disdainful expression on his face.

Vinegar: And now Chaos is asking for a microphone. What is he doing?

Lieberjosch: Why do you dislike this man so much, Nicholas?

Vinegar: Because he stands for everything that is wrong with this business, and his actions hold down the younger talent that need to carry this company into the next decade, and beyond.

Lieberjosch: Chaos was right last week. You do get overly dramatic at times.

Chaos has walked over beside Lucky, placing his forearm onto Lucky’s shoulder, as they stand side by side. He brings the microphone to his lips.

Chaos: Good Afternoon, brothers and sisters! It feels fan-fucking-tastic to be here today, right here, at New Orleans City Park!!!

The crowd roars in approval, with some DMW members revving their bikes at Chaos’ cheap pop. Grinning, Chaos continues.

Chaos: I apologize if that made me seem like a cheap, attention-whoring fat ass. I knew I should have worn that old flannel jacket that I found in my closet. As such…I’ll just blame it on the beer.

Again, the crowd goes ballistic, with more revving of motorcycles, as a few females in the crowd lift their shirts, showcasing their most “endearing qualities”.

Chaos: Hey Lucky, her…her…and her. Go get me their numbers, ASAP. And since I’m feeling generous, grab one for yourself, too.

Chaos begins pacing back and forth in the ring, as Lucky heads out into the festival grounds.

Vinegar: He’s already wasted so much time, and he hasn’t really even said anything. Doesn’t he realize that he’s holding up the show?

Lieberjosch: Nicholas?

Vinegar: Yes, Hans?

Lieberjosch: Have you seen a match card for today yet?

Vinegar: Well no, Hans, I haven’t. That’s the beauty of WRESTLESTOCK…everything is a surprise!

Lieberjosch: You are correct, you intelligence-deficient ragamuffin. Just listen.

Chaos: Now, I’m sure a lot of you are wondering why I am out here today, starting off the festivities. Hell, I know Vinegar is. Have no fear, Nicky-Baby…you are about to find out.

Covert Jay: Look at that fat guy in a little shinobi shozoko. Hilarious!

Chaos: There are actually a few reasons that I am out here right now. For starters, how can a Devil’s Most Wanted member NOT open the show, seeing as how we’re coming to the country LIVE, from the home of the charter chapter of the club?

More cheers, flashings, and motorcycle revving from the crowd.

Chaos: Secondly, I gotta admit…there isn’t much in life that’s better, than using money, women, and intimidation, in order to get what you want. And I’ll be perfectly honest with you…we got exactly what we wanted here today.

Vinegar: What in the hell is he talking about?

Lieberjosch: Shhh, just listen, Nicholas. You’re about to find out.

Chaos: Due to Cypress’ and my…ability to negotiate…the Devil’s Most Wanted is actually making all of the decisions here tonight. Matches…participants…match types…we’re handling EVERYTHING!

DMW members and fans – who seem to make up about 85% of the people in attendance – all roar their approval, as Vinegar knocks over his water bottle.

Vinegar: That sonofa…how did they pull this off, Hans???

Lieberjosch: I know not of which you speak, Nicholas.

Chaos: So since we are controlling everything that happens here today, we got to thinking. Here we are, Day One of WRESTLESTOCK 2013…a day dedicated solely to the UGWC Chaos Championship…and we couldn’t help but think back to a time, when those types of matches were the norm in this industry. A time when the unexpected happened on a weekly basis. A time when chaos and carnage reigned supreme.

Vinegar: I think Chaos had one too many Chadweiser’s today. He isn’t making any sense.

Lieberjosch: This is so exciting!

Chaos: And big Cypress and I both kept coming back to the same conclusion. With WRESTLESTOCK being an event that truly does look to honor the past of the wrestling industry, Cypress and I decided that honoring the past is exactly what we’re going to do. And to do so, can be described in three simple words.

Chaos lowers the microphone from his mouth, as he looks out at the vast sea of people that surround him.

Vinegar: Well? What is it, Chaos? “I Love Beer”? “Scratch That Itch”? “Kid Isn’t Mine”? What???

After a few moments of silence, Chaos slowly raises the microphone to his lips…inhaling deeply before speaking those three simple words.

Chaos: PURE PAIN WRESTLING.

Vinegar: WHAT?

Lieberjosch: I just love doing what I do, and knowing what I know. Splendid!

Chaos: That’s right fans, WRESTLESTOCK will be honoring wrestling and its history here tonight, and PPW will play a major role in that. So not only will you be seeing some of your favorite stars of UGWC in action, but you’ll also be seeing stars known in GIW and LWF circles, as well as stars of PPW. And the greatest thing of all…you’re going to see them all mixed together.

Vinegar: Wait, what? What does he mean by that?

Lieberjosch: You’re quite simple-minded, Nicholas. By any chance, were you given lead finger paints as a child?

Chaos: You see fans, to be able to truly call yourself the Chaos Champion, you need to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you are indeed worthy. Seito Risa has done a fine job to this point, but the DMW has decided to raise the bar here tonight. Whoever stands tall at the end of the night will, without question, be worthy of holding the prestigious Chaos Championship Belt.

Vinegar: Chaos is drunk. I’m afraid of where this might be going.

Chaos: We’re holding ourselves a random draw tournament here tonight, and we’re capping it off with the damndest thing I’ve ever heard of. For the quarterfinal round of matches, you’re going to see a metric fuck-ton of three-way matches – six of them in all – with all of them being conducted under hardcore rules. Which basically means…that there are no rules. The participants will beat the holy hell out of one another, until only one of them is able to gain a pinfall or submission victory. No disqualifications…no countouts…and no excuses.

Lieberjosch: Didn’t I tell you, Nicholas? I told you it would be exciting.

Vinegar: Assuming each match doesn’t just consist of DMW members, maybe you’re right, Hans.

Covert Jay: Hey, what’s Chaos doing out here?

Lieberjosch: And to think, that’s just the quarterfinal round of matches. This means that there is still more to come.

Chaos: Now the winners of those six matches will move on to the semifinal round, where they will once again participate in three-way matches. However, to show that I am nothing but fair, I have a surprise. In the quarterfinal round matches, those members that were not the ones pinned or submitted…they, too, will move on to the semifinal round.

Numerous cheers emanate from the crowd, as everyone is fully focused on Chaos in the main ring.

Lieberjosch: Here comes the best part, Nicholas. Make sure that you are paying attention.

Vinegar: He actually has my undivided attention, Hans.

Chaos: And now, for my favorite part. The winners of those four semifinal matchups will move on to the finals of the tournament, where they will participate in a Fatal Fourway match, with elimination rules. But no-no, my brothers and sisters, this isn’t going to be just any match. That just wouldn’t do, down here in Nawlin’s! No…our final matchup here tonight is what we in the DMW like to call a CLUBHOUSE RULES MATCH!

Vinegar: What in the world is that?

Chaos: Now I know that most people here living in New Orleans City Park know what I’m talking about, but for the uninformed masses watching from their couches, pay close attention, and I will explain. We’re going to take two chain-link cage walls, and we’re going to erect them on two opposite sides of the ring. Chains will connect the cage walls to the ring apron, and various weapons will hang from each of them. If you can get to a weapon, you are free to do whatever you want with it.

Vinegar: I’m intrigued, and yet sickened, all at the same time.

Chaos: Unlike the quarterfinal and semifinal rounds, where the pinfalls or submissions MUST happen within the ring, this match is a Falls Count Anywhere Match. The only caveat is, in order for the pinfall or submission to count, that person must have already been put through a table during the match.

Vinegar: I don’t believe I’ve ever seen such a thing in my life.

Lieberjosch: Yes, it’s going to be spectacular, is it not?

Chaos begins making his way towards the ropes, but stops. He brings the microphone to his lips one last time.

Chaos: Oh, and Seito? The championship can change hands in any round. And you don’t even have to be the one pinned or submitted, to lose it. Have fun.

Chaos exits the ring, and hands the microphone to Mitchell Dennis. Climbing onto his bike, he brings it to life, and then disappears up the ramp way.

Vinegar: Ladies and Gentlemen, Chaos has delivered a blockbuster here in the early going. Now though, it is time for our first official break here today, as we hear a word from one of our sponsors.

Commercial Break

The scene opens to a well-lit fast food restaurant, with the name “Hardee’s” emblazoned across the background. Jezebel Saint steps forward with a smile on her face, and a Hardee’s baby doll t-shirt hugging her curves.

Jezebel: Hi. Jezebel Saint here. You may know me from UGWC, or even from my PPW days.

She smiles blindingly and holds a hand out, as if she’s carrying a tray. A delicious-looking chicken sandwich miraculously appears there. Outstanding!

Jezebel: I’m here to tell you about Hardee’s - a prominent WRESTLESTOCK sponsor - new menu items, each more yummy than the next, and all based off of your favorite UGWC superstars. Like this succulent little beauty, for instance.

She points at the chicken sandwich in her hand.

Jezebel: This spicy little beauty is all me. Crispy chicken smothered in a spicy sauce, pepper jack cheese, crisp lettuce. Oh…and don’t forget that thick-cut bacon.

She winks at the camera.

Jezebel: So come on down to Hardee’s and take a bite of a taste so intense, you’ll swear you were in on the action.

The camera pans behind her to reveal a service countertop. Cypress and Chaos pop up from behind it; both dressed in Hardee’s employee uniforms. A “customer” approaches and places his order, requesting the “PMN Special.” Cypress and Chaos look at each other in surprise, as if to say “someone actually orders that shit?” and then shrug, yanking the unfortunate customer over the counter, and stomping him into submission. Chaos leaps into the air and drops with his elbow extended, causing a grunt to be heard from below.

Jezebel sits on the counter, still holding her sandwich in one hand, and sporting a big, fake smile on her face. To the side stands Lucky in a manager uniform, talking to another customer at the drive-thru window. Suddenly, Lucky yanks off his headset, and pulls the customer through the window, placing him into a headlock. The scene fades to black with the sounds of a scuffle in the background, and the Hardee’s logo flashes on the screen.

The scene fades back in as Cypress glares down at the “customer” behind the counter, delivering what looks to be a particularly vicious Nazi stomp.

Cypress: Ask me again how my wife tastes!

The scene fades out.

[DrunkenBuzzsaw]

The scene opens back along the southern corner of the park grounds. Gian Jones and Mark Reznik are shown amongst the crowd. As the camera moves closer, they are heard in mid-conversation.

Gian Jones: …and I’m telling you, Casper…I’m sick of how some of these muhfukka’s treat us, ‘round here. The fuckin’ man always gotta be putting his boot heel on a nucca’s neck, tryin’ to keep us down.

After this exchange, Jones realizes that Reznik is no longer beside him. Turning around, he sees that Mark has stopped at one of the autograph tables. Walking back over, he stops beside Reznik, and then looks up.

Gian Jones: What the fuck?

Before them stands a being so beautifully spectacular, that words simply do not do it justice. The two of them stand in amazement for a few seconds, before Jones finally breaks the silence.

Gian Jones: That’s one pretty, bronze muhfukka’, Casper.

Mark Reznik: There are no words…it’s truly a work of art. Do you think he will sign an autograph for me?

Jones looks at Reznik in bewilderment, but says nothing. Casper walks over to the table, and pics up a 10x12. It is a picture of Bronze Vain, with the words “Fairest of them All” scribbled at the bottom. Reznik gleams.

Gian Jones: You two need to be left alone, Casper?

Reznik shakes his head, as he turns and begins walking away with Jones. After a few steps, a group of children run in front of them, causing Reznik to get his feet tangled together, as he attempts to avoid them. As if in slow motion, and with Jones yelling “Noooooo” beside him, Reznik falls to the ground, completely crushing the “signed” picture of Bronze Vain underneath of him. Jones stands there open-mouthed for a split second, before dropping to the ground himself, and making a count.

Gian Jones: 1…..2…..3!!!

Jones jumps to his feet, and then pulls Reznik to his. The two of them jump around emphatically, celebrating Reznik’s first official “big win” within UGWC.

The camera feed switches back over to the main stage, where Crowbar has just begun their final song.

(No Quarter)

Vinegar: Welcome back, folks! As you can see, anything and everything happens here at WRESTLESTOCK. Mark Reznik celebrates the biggest win of his career, and it couldn’t have come at a better time! And I suddenly have a hankering for a chicken sandwich.

Lieberjosch: I have nothing to say concerning that spectacle with Reznik, Nicholas. As for the sandwich, I wouldn’t talk that way around Cypress.

Vinegar: You have nothing to say, Hans? Wow…I guess a picture really is worth a thousand words.

Lieberjosch: Clever.

Covert Jay: Chicken sandwiches suck…but ya know what suck? Bruce Lee.

Vinegar: Well fans, participants have already been introduced for the matches within rings two and three. To our left in ring two, we have The Piercing Media Network’s own Travis Pierce, and he is slated to take on two members of the now defunct Pure Pain Wrestling organization, Quentin Barnes, and Shane Kast.

Lieberjosch: Back in PPW’s heyday, Barnes and Kast were two of the very best in the business. Over their many years in the industry, they have found themselves as allies, and also as enemies. Their convoluted past together, plus having Travis Pierce thrown into the mix, should make for a very entertaining match. Referee Sam Green may hold the key to the entire matchup, however.

Vinegar: And over in ring three to our right, we have Gian Jones squaring off against two all-time UGWC legends, Marek Daisuke, and Abigail Knight.

Lieberjosch: Daisuke and Knight combined for four Chaos Championship title reigns during their careers, for a combined total of 404 days as champion. They are the top two Chaos Champions of all time, here in UGWC.

Covert Jay: They definitely know what fighting for the Chaos Championship is all about, Hans. Hazel East is going to have her hands full keeping those three in line.

Lieberjosch: There are no rules, Jay. Literally, all she has to do is either count the pin attempt, or ask if they give up. That’s it. Chaos explained all of this already. If you aren’t going to pay attention when the adults are speaking, I am sure that you can make better use of yourself elsewhere.

Vinegar: Children. Behave, please. We have a show going on. And now ladies and gentlemen, we are ready for the introductions for the first quarterfinal match that is being held directly in front of us, here in the main ring.

Michell Dennis: Ladies and Gentlemen, this match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, he is one-half of the “Stars of Tomorrow”, MARK REZZZZZZZZNIIIKKKKKKKKK!!!!!

The piano intro to "Silver and Cold" by AFI begins as the lights in the arena go out. Six spotlights on the sides of the ramp come to life and shine on the rafters above the GlobalTron, where "Razor" Mark Reznik is being lowered slowly on a cable. His head is down, his arms to each side, palm out. He sports a seven string Ibanez guitar, strapped to his body. Just as he reaches the center of the giant screen, a pair of black feathery wings appear on the screen, fitting his body perfectly. Reznik comes to life as he hangs there momentarily and plays the opening guitar riff.

The young females in the crowd who are in this musical demographic go insane as he is lowered the rest of the way to the stage. As he hits the floor and the riff ends, he spins the guitar over his left shoulder. It comes to rest on his back as he extends his arms into the air, creating a mirror to the pose he had before. After soaking up the crowd reaction, Mark marches to the ring, removing the Ibanez before climbing the stairs.

Vinegar: Even the pro-DMW crowd here today appreciates ax work like that.

Lieberjosch: It is good to see that he can actually play the guitar. I’ve always hated gimmicks where a wrestler comes to the ring with a prop, and can’t use it. Remember Van Hammer and his guitar? Or what about that jobber tag team that carried skateboards to the ring. Remember them?

Vinegar: Unfortunately, Hans, yes I do.

Mitchell Dennis: His opponent, standing 6’2” and weighing in at 270 pounds, he’s known as “The Most Dangerous Rumor You’ve Never Heard”, he won the Chaos Championship on Day One of WRESTLESTOCK a mere two years ago, NATURAL BORN KILLLLLLLLLLEEEEEERRRRRRR!!!!!

Rob Zombie’s “How to Make a Monster” queues up over the loudspeakers, as NBK steps through the curtain, and begins making his way to the ring. He enters, staring over at Mark Reznik, as the two of them await their opponent.

Vinegar: At one time, NBK was one of the most feared men in the industry. Though he only held the Chaos Championship one time, the way that he goes about his business in the ring is almost scary.

Lieberjosch: He won this title two years ago, on this very day of WRESTLESTOCK. Will lightning strike twice for NBK?

Mitchell Dennis: And their opponent, hailing from Osaka, Japan, she is the reigning UGWC Chaos Champion, “The Phoenix Princess” SEIIIIIIITOOOOOOOOO RIIIIIIIIIIIIISSAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

Without warning, pyro explosions rock the entry way. A second time, the concussion causing excitement to spread like a wave through the sea of humanity. As "Light My Fire" by KOTOKO begins to play, a handsome Japanese male, in his late twenties, dressed in a grey business suit steps out through the smoke left from the pryo. Over his shoulder is a portable flag pole. From it hangs the symbol of the Land of the Rising Sun. He stops halfway down the ramp and steps to one side, holding the flag up with pride. As the smoke clears, a Japanese woman in her early twenties struts out and stops just before she reaches the man with the flag. The crowd gives a cheer, perhaps not for her, but for her outfit. A brown school girl outfit tries desperately to reach her knees and fails. White wrestling boots adorn her feet with matching knee pads. Her top comes down to her wrists and below the upper hem of the skirt. She does an extremely over the top turn, waving to the fans and blowing kisses toward them on either side. The man stands there, his eyes fixed on the flag as the girl acts more and more silly with her interaction to the crowd. After what feels like an eternity but is really only a handful of seconds, the girl turns and sprints to the ring. She slides in under the ropes and and hops agilely to her feet and quickly springs up to the second turnbuckle nearest her. Both hands go over her head in, a 'V' formed by her fore and middle fingers on both hands. She nods to the crowd, swaying to the beat of the music before dropping back to her feet and running to the next turnbuckle and repeating the gesture. She runs back to the corner where she started and looks out to the entry way where the man still stands. She calls out to him in her native language and his head turns to eye her, an eyebrow crooked curiously. He heaves a sigh and returns the flag to his shoulder and trudges toward the back. She spins round and in one swift motion pulls her top off, revealing a silver and red tight top. She turns and balls up the shirt, tossing it into the crowd. She repeats this motion with the skirt, revealing short, tight silver and red shorts. On the right thigh of the shorts is a green dragon's head. The skirt she hands over the ropes to one of the ring attendants, not without a wink, which causes him to blush a deep crimson. She turns on heel and faces her opponentS, yelling out "Ohaiyo"!

Vinegar: Seito has been a great Chaos Champion since she won the title at NO HOLDS BARRED, however, this tournament will take her to her limits and back.

Lieberjosch: Forget the tournament for a moment…this MATCH is going to take her to her limits. NBK does not mess around in that ring. He means business, and if Risa isn’t careful, she may find herself without her title.

Covert Jay: And don’t forget, Hans, Mark Reznik picked up the biggest win of his career earlier tonight, when he pinned BVP. He might surprise you, too.

Lieberjosch: I’m sorry…BVP?

Covert Jay: Yeah, BVP. Bronze Vain Picture.

Lieberjosch: Bronze Vain Pic…I need a drink already.

Vinegar: The time for waiting is over. Claude de Rhombus is ready to work his magic, which will get all three of these matches underway simultaneously.

Lieberjosch: This day is going to simply be insane.

de Rhombus rings the bell, and the three opening qualifying matches are officially under way.

Vinegar: We have some of the best wrestlers to ever be involved in this industry taking part in matches here in the early going. What are you looking for in these first three matches, Hans?

Lieberjosch: There are two things that I am going to focus on, Nicholas. First, how does Seito Risa handle the pressure of performing in the opening match here tonight? If she looks ahead at all, she might regret it. And second, how will Travis Pierce handle going up against two men that he knows little – if any – about?

Vinegar: Those are two extremely valid questions, Hans. It looks like the feeling out period is about over, as the action is starting to pick up in all three rings.

Lieberjosch: Let’s head to the main ring, where our Chaos Champion is already on the offensive.

As NBK looks on, Seito Risa has gained the early advantage on Mark Reznik with several quick knife edge chops, with each one followed by a “WHOOOOO” from the crowd. She then Irish-whips Reznik to the ropes, connecting with a beautifully executed dropkick, which sends Reznik sprawling to the mat. As she gets to her feet, NBK levels her from behind with a running lariat. Turning his attention to Reznik, NBK lands a boot to Reznik’s midsection, and then follows it up with a high knee, knocking Reznik through the ropes, and out to the floor. As NBK turns, Risa takes flight, but NBK catches her in mid-air, and pitches her over the top rope with a release belly-to-belly suplex. Risa lands on Reznik just as he has gotten to his feet, and both are left lying on the floor, as NBK paces within the ring.

Vinegar: Seito took advantage early, but NBK quickly put an end to that. He looks like he hasn’t missed a beat since he’s been gone.

Lieberjosch: He was always hard-nosed in the ring, and he has quite a weight advantage on his two opponents. Seito and Mark might find that the best course of action is to take the big man out, and then focus on each other.

Covert Jay: I’m going to get some popcorn. You guys want anything?

Vinegar: Let’s go over to ring two, where Pierce is currently having his way with Barnes and Kast.

Kast is down in the corner, as Pierce has just connected with a snap suplex on Barnes. Picking Barnes back up off the mat, Pierce lifts him up, and connects with a back-breaker. He tries for a quick pin attempt, but Barnes is able to get his shoulder up before referee Sam Green can even perform a one count.

Vinegar: Pierce is now making his way over to Kast, who has gotten to his feet, and is slumped in the corner.

Lieberjosch: From what I could tell, it looked like Kast had been on the receiving end of a thunderous release overhead suplex, and landed directly on the back of his head. By the looks of it, the lights are on, but I’m not so sure anyone is home.

Vinegar: And Pierce is showing why he is an integral part of PMN, as he is in total control of the matchup to this point.

Lieberjosch: But look at what is going on over in ring three! They already find themselves out on the floor. And we all know with the pedigree that both Daisuke and Knight have, Gian Jones will want to get things back inside the ring as soon as possible.

Vinegar: Honestly, it looks like he’s more than happy to go with the flow.

Jones has flung Knight into the guardrail, and is now exchanging punches with Daisuke. Gaining the upper hand, Jones then rams Daisuke’s head into the steel ring steps. He eyes Abigail Knight, and as she pulls herself up using the crowd barrier, he takes off running, jumping and connecting with a body splash. Knight crumples to the floor, as Jones looks down at the two people lying at his feet.

Vinegar: Gian Jones is currently beating Marek Daisuke and Abigail Knight at their own games. I don’t believe it.

Lieberjosch: Jones has the skills to be a major player in this company. He takes entirely too much crap, in my opinion.

Vinegar: I tend to agree, Hans.

Lieberjosch: Back in ring two, Kast and Barnes have Pierce trapped in the corner, and they are both taking turns at beating on him.

Vinegar: They are really wearing Pierce out at this point. Is there ANY wrestler outside of PMN, that doesn’t hate these guys?

Lieberjosch: Probably not, but apparently there is an official that loves them. Explain to me why Sam Green is admonishing both Barnes and Kast, for not allowing Pierce to get out of the corner. The match is hardcore rules.

Vinegar: Probably just an honest mistake, Hans. It happens.

Lieberjosch: I highly doubt that, Nicholas.

Barnes throws his hands in the air, and starts to back away. Kast grabs Pierce and sends him towards Barnes. Barnes connects with a high knee, causing Pierce to hit the mat. Kast bounds off the ropes and connects with a quick legdrop across the throat. Barnes has come off the opposite ropes and connected with a knee drop across the chest. Kast scales the top rope, and comes flying off, hitting an elbow drop on the prone Travis Pierce.

Vinegar: Barnes and Kast working rather well together now against Pierce, but this isn’t a tag match.

Lieberjosch: They did used to be friends, Nicholas. However, just like during the active careers, they never knew if they liked one another, or hated one another.

Vinegar: Kast and Barnes are now beating on each other like they stole something, but back to the main ring, Seito Risa finds herself firmly in control.

Lieberjosch: While we were focusing on the other matches that are going on, NBK hit “Rumor Has It” on Reznik, but then turned directly into a Sakura Punch, which Seito Risa then followed up with a Sakura Strike. She then scaled the ropes and connected with a missile dropkick that resulted in a one count from referee Glenn Burke.

Vinegar: And now she’s looking for a submission win, as she has the Phoenix Wing locked in tight. And NBK has nowhere to go, as Risa has taken the hold to the mat, and grapevined her legs around the bigger man’s waist.

Glenn Burke is checking to see if NBK gives up, but NBK says nothing as he attempts to find a way out of the hold. Nobody notices Mark Reznik grabbing a steel chair from the outside, and then climbing to the top rope with it. Taking flight, he positions the chair underneath of himself, slamming into NBK with a vicious leg drop from the top rope, and smashing him into Seito Risa. All three wrestlers writhe in pain on the mat.

Vinegar: Reznik sacrificed his own well-being with that move, and it worked out phenomenally.

Lieberjosch: I’m not sure who took the worst of that move; NBK in having the chair driven into his chest, Risa for being sandwiched by all of Reznik’s and NBK’s weight, or Reznik for hurting himself while performing the move. He could have cracked a tailbone.

Reznik eventually crawls over and hooks the leg of the UGWC Chaos Champion, and Glenn Burke makes the count. 1…..2…..KICK OUT!!!

Vinegar: And Risa was just able to kick out.

Lieberjosch: Maybe his “win” earlier tonight over “BVP” has given Reznik a newfound confidence, because he is more than holding his own against the current Chaos Champion, Seito Risa.

Vinegar: He is a “Star of Tomorrow”, Hans.

Lieberjosch: Back to ring three, where Daisuke currently has the advantage. I think.

Daisuke has Jones perched on the top turnbuckle. He jumps up for a hurancarana attempt, but Jones is able to latch a hold of Daisuke, and in one fluid motion, jumps off from the middle rope, planting Marek Daisuke in the center of the ring with a sit-out powerbomb. Daisuke lies motionless, as Jones squirms while holding his lower back. Abigail Knight has climbed to the top rope, and hits a Swanton bomb onto Daisuke.

Vinegar: Knight just nailed her Swanton, and if she can make the cover on Daisuke, this one might be over.

Abigail Knight drags herself over to Marek Daisuke, and drapes her arm over his chest. Hazel East makes the count: 1…..2…..

Vinegar: And Gian Jones is just able to break up the count at the last second.

Lieberjosch: That was extremely close. This match, as well as the match in ring two, are currently anyone’s game.

Vinegar: Back over in ring two, Quentin Barnes has grabbed a hold of Travis Pierce, and is setting him up.

Barnes lifts Pierce high in the air, and drills him with a bodyslam. As he begins to turn, Shane Kast connects with a perfectly placed superkick, sending Barnes through the ropes, and to the floor.

Vinegar: Barnes is now out of the way, and Kast is looking to possibly end this match.

Kast climbs to the top rope for a flying elbow drop, but Travis Pierce moves at the last second. Pierce quickly moves in for the cover, and Sam Green makes the count: 1..2..KICK OUT!!! Pierce looks up at the referee, and then slaps the mat in frustration.

Lieberjosch: Quite a fast count by our official in the Pierce match. I wonder what Pierce promised him.

Vinegar: It wasn’t that fast of a count, Hans. Looked perfectly normal to me, to be honest.

Covert Jay: (taking a seat back at the broadcast table) They didn’t have any popcorn, but there’s a vendor that is selling deep-fried catfish, and holy cow at how good it was.

Lieberjosch: Nice to see that you could join us again, Jay.

Covert Jay: I aim to please, Hans. What have I missed?

Lieberjosch: You mean, other than a good chunk of three matches?

Covert Jay: I couldn’t help it. I was hungry.

Vinegar: While you two are bickering, you’re missing all of the action. Back in the main ring, Mark Reznik had begun taking control with a series of quick punches and kicks on NBK, but his onslaught was cut short by Risa, when she connected with three straight European Uppercuts, and then a running bulldog.

As Reznik gets to his feet, he is immediately taken back down with a perfectly executed dragon-screw leg whip. As Reznik grabs at his knee, Risa grabs his leg and begins landing kicks to his hamstring.

Vinegar: The champion is starting to impose her will now, and Reznik’s knee might be seriously hurt.

Lieberjosch: Back over in ring three, Marek Daisuke looks to be firing on all cylinders, as he just planted Gian Jones in the center of the ring with a thunderous tornado DDT.

Daisuke makes the cover, and Hazel East makes the count: 1…..2……..

Vinegar: Abigail Knight just broke up the pin attempt at the last second. And…what is that she is holding, Hans?

Lieberjosch: Looks to be a kendo stick, Nicholas. And she is really wearing Daisuke out with it.

Knight has completely lost it, as she beats Daisuke over every inch of his body with the kendo stick. And for good measure, as Jones begins getting to his feet, she cracks him over the skull with it, too. She stands in the center of the ring, kendo stick raised high, as the crowd cheers, and motorcycle engines are being revved.

Vinegar: The DMW fans here tonight showing their appreciation for the action that is taking place in these three rings.

Lieberjosch: Ring three, more specifically. A hot woman, that takes no guff? That’s their kind of woman, Nicholas.

Covert Jay: That’s why I have a soft spot for Eden Morgan.

Lieberjosch: Shut up, Jay.

Back in ring two, the action has spilled out on to the floor. Barnes and Kast are exchanging right hands, while Pierce measures them from the ring. Bounding off the far ropes, he runs towards them…jumping over the ropes, and taking both men out with a cross-body block. As the crowd boos, Pierce picks Kast up off the floor. Grabbing him by the head, he quickly hits a snap suplex, leaving Kast in pain on the floor.

Vinegar: Pierce just planted Kast onto the concrete floor with that snap suplex. Kast looks to be in quite a bit of pain.

Lieberjosch: If Pierce wants to advance, he needs to put one of these men away. The longer this match lasts, the less I like his chances, if he happens to advance.

Pierce stands Barnes up, who hits a quick knee to Pierce’s midsection. Barnes attempts to Irish-whip Pierce, but Pierce reverses it, and the head of Quentin Barnes bounces off of the ring post with a sickening thud. Grabbing Kast, Pierce rolls him under the bottom rope, and follows behind him, back into the ring.

Vinegar: Barnes might be out. He didn’t have a chance to even try to get his hands up to cushion some of that impact, and he’s not moving.

Lieberjosch: Kast isn’t doing much better at the moment. These three men have beaten the holy hell out of each other in this matchup. You have to wonder how much they have left at this point.

Covert Jay: The same can be said for the other two matches that are currently going on, too, guys.

Lieberjosch: Exactly when did you start making valid points, Jay?

Vinegar: Back over in ring three, Gian Jones now is in control of the kendo stick, and he’s seated on the back of Abigail Knight, wrenching back with the kendo stick, as he chokes her with it.

Abigail Knight screams out in pain, as Gian Jones applies as much pressure as he can. From out of nowhere, Marek Daisuke back-kicks Jones directly in the face, causing him to release the choke on Abigail Knight, as he slumps over on his side. Daisuke picks Jones up from the mat, and unceremoniously dumps him back down with a t-bone suplex. Jones hits the mat near the ropes, rolling under the bottom rope, onto the floor below.

Vinegar: Daisuke might be looking to end this matchup, as he begins calling for his finisher.

Lieberjosch: That’s not all, back over in ring two; Pierce is in total command now. That match might be nearing its conclusion, as well.

Pierce has just connected with a piledriver to Barnes out on the floor, and has slid back into the ring. As Kast gets to his feet, Pierce takes off.

Vinegar: THE TRUTH HURTS to Kast, and he’s out cold.

Pierce makes the cover on Kast, and referee Sam Green makes the count: 1…..2…..3!!!!!

Vinegar: Travis Pierce did it, Hans! He was able to withstand everything that Quentin Barnes and Shane Kast threw at him, and still managed to come out victiorious.

Lieberjosch: And while that was going on, Marek Daisuke hit the WRECKAGE on Abigail Knight.

Hazel East makes the count: 1…..2…..3!!!!!

Vinegar: The action really picked up here the last couple of minutes, and now two of these matches are in the books.

Lieberjosch: That’s right, Nicholas. Marek Daisuke just pinned Abigail Knight, which means that he will be joining Travis Pierce, in advancing in the tournament here tonight.

Vinegar: Let’s not forget, Hans, due to neither being pinned nor submitted during the matches, both Quentin Barnes and Gian Jones also advance in the tournament here tonight.

Covert Jay: Both Kast and Knight gave it their all, but in the end, they just fell short.

Lieberjosch: Did you hit your head while you were getting food?

Covert Jay: Ninjas don’t succumb to such tomfoolery.

Lieberjosch: Nevermind…

Vinegar: And now we’re down to the match here in the main ring.

Seito Risa has just hit the Phoenix Rising on Mark Reznik, and makes the cover. Glenn Burke makes the count: 1…..2……….

Vinegar: And NBK just broke up the pin attempt by ramming the top of a steel chair down onto the neck of Seito Risa. She had this match won!

Lieberjosch: Gotta have eyes in the back of your head, Nicholas. You can’t bank on someone just not showing up with their A-Game. NBK wants to win this match just as badly as Seito Risa. Maybe even more so, since he wants to prove that he still has what it takes to compete at a high level in this profession.

Vinegar: Point taken, Hans.

As Risa struggles to her feet, NBK tosses her the chair. Seito catches it, but before she can react, NBK lands a big boot onto the chair, driving it into the face of Seito Risa, and sending her through the ropes and to the floor.

Vinegar: My God! That wasn’t pretty at all.

Lieberjosch: Feel bad for Reznik. He is in the ring all alone with NBK…and NBK looks PISSED.

Eyeing the chair, NBK kicks it over towards the center of the ring. He then walks over and picks Reznik up off the mat. Lifting him high in the air, he holds him for a split second, before coming crashing down.

Vinegar: NBK just hit a brainbuster onto the chair, and Reznik is out.

Lieberjosch: It would be easy to pin him, but NBK wants to prove a point here tonight.

NBK has rolled Reznik over onto his stomach. He takes a seat on his back, before cinching in his finisher.

Vinegar: RELEASING THE SCREAMS has been applied to Reznik, but he’s out cold, Hans.

Covert Jay: It will be kind of hard to make someone submit, when they aren’t conscious.

Lieberjosch: Glenn Burke is looking in, and sees that Reznik is in no position to give up.

Referee Burke raises the arm of Reznik once, and it falls back to the mat. He calls “One”. He raises Reznik’s arm a second time, and once again, it falls back to the mat. He calls “Two”. Burke raises Reznik’s arm a third time, and for a third time, it falls back to the mat. Burke calls for the bell, and the match is over.

Vinegar: I think we’ve just crowned a new UGWC Chaos Champion!

Mitchell Dennis: Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of this match…and NEW UGWC CHAOS CHAMPION…THE NATURAL BORN KILLLLLLLLLLLEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!

Vinegar: NBK is the new champion! Holy shit!

Lieberjosch: In his return to the ring here in UGWC, NBK was able to render Seito Risa an afterthought, and was awarded the match due to Mark Reznik being unconscious.

Vinegar: I can’t believe it! We’re only partially done the quarterfinal round here tonight in New Orleans City Park, and we’ve already crowned a new Chaos Champ!

Lieberjosch: Risa still advances in the tournament though, Nicholas. By the end of the night, she could still find herself wearing that title around her waist.

Vinegar: Ladies and Gentlemen, we have to take another break. Don’t go anywhere, because we’ll be right back!

Commercial Break

The screen is filled with what looks like a very tidy office, the shelves of a bookshelf lined with various books of law, framed pictures on the walls revealing various certifications and diplomas, remarkable achievements in a life. A woman with dark hair sits at the desk, working diligently and writing away on what looks to be an official document. The woman raises her head and, as if she were caught unaware, smiles at the camera, drawing the reading glasses from her face.

Woman: Oh, well good afternoon there! I hope you’re enjoying this marvelous 3-day event of entertainment by these professional athletes. I’m Connie Robertson, consulting attorney for the Devil’s Most Wanted.

She smiles broadly and leans back in her chair.

Robertson: New Orleans is such a wonderful and magical city, and I hope that each of you enjoy her to the fullest extent. However, should you encounter any troubles during said enjoyment; I hope that you’ll remember my number.

The number to her office flashes on the screen.

Robertson: That number is [phone]. Give me a call, and we’ll see if we can make those troubles magically disappear.

She smiles again and places the glasses again on her face, looking back down at the document, looking up again at the last second as the camera backs away, a cheeky grin on her face.

Robertson: After all, if I can keep the DMW out of jail, you’ll be no problem whatsoever.

The screen fades to black and a business card with Connie Robertson’s name, credentials, and number appears on the screen before fading completely to black.

[DrunkenBuzzsaw]

Vinegar: Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. Out next three quarterfinal matches have already gotten underway, but the shocker of the night already is that Seito Risa is no longer the UGWC Chaos Champion!

Lieberjosch: Right you are, Nicholas. The Natural Born Killer made a surprise return here tonight, and he now enjoys his second Chaos Title reign in UGWC. Who saw that coming?

Vinegar: Nobody that I know, Hans.

Covert Jay: I think I need some more of that catfish, fellas. I’ll be back later.

Lieberjosch: Always the professional, Jay…

Vinegar: Back to the matter at hand, we have nine more wrestlers trying to advance to the semifinals here tonight. To our right in ring three, we have newcomer Erika Langford squaring off against PPW’s own Tre Crawford, and GIW legend Ezekiel Pax.

Lieberjosch: Let us not forget, Ezekiel Pax is no stranger to the Chaos Championship, as he held that title back in late 2010. Langford might be in trouble.

Vinegar: To our left in ring two, James Spyder finds himself facing two men that he knows rather well from PPW, The Dark Lotus, and Draven.

Lieberjosch: You can say that again, Nicholas. Spyder feuded with both of these men at various points in his career, so there is definitely no love lost in this matchup. In fact, The Dark Lotus was the one responsible for putting Colin Zale on the shelf many years ago. I highly doubt that Spyder has forgotten that.

Vinegar: Speaking of Colin Zale, he is in action here in the main ring; he is taking on returning UGWC star Vlad, and…wait…They’re the only two in the ring. Where’s the third guy?

Lieberjosch: God only knows, Nicholas.

Vinegar: Once we get an answer to that question, we will be sure to let everyone watching from home know. On to ring three, where Ezekiel Pax has gained the early advantage.

Pax sends Crawford to the ropes, following close behind, and planted a knee to his midsection, as Crawford bounces off the ropes. As Langford moves over, Pax and Langford tie up, with Pax slipping behind and applying a hammerlock. Langford reverses the hold, applying a hammerlock of her own, as Crawford hauls off and slugs Pax in the chin.

Vinegar: Solid right hand by Tre Crawford.

Lieberjosch: In ring two, The Dark Lotus and Draven have joined forces, and are currently having their way with James Spyder.

Draven connects with a bodyslam, and Lotus follows up with a jumping knee onto the bridge of Spyders nose. As Draven mounts Spyder and begins pummeling him with right hands, Lotus slides out of the ring and begins looking under the ring.

Lieberjosch: The Dark Lotus is wasting no time in wanting to up the ante here in this match. The only question is…what is he looking for?

Vinegar: We’re sure to find out soon enough, but here in front of us, Colin Zale and Vlad have been going back and forth here in the early going, with Vlad currently having the advantage.

Vlad has hung Zale up on the top rope with a flapjack. Measuring him, he plants a big boot into the side of Zale’s face, sending him to the mat, where Zale wisely rolls out of the ring.

Vinegar: Colin Zale looking to create some distance, in an attempt to recover from that big boot from Vlad.

Lieberjosch: It doesn’t seem like Vlad is going to allow him to regain his bearings though.

Vlad has followed Zale to the floor, and is landing solid forearm shots to Colin’s back. He grabs Zale by the head and rams it into the ring apron multiple times.

Vinegar: Vlad is repeatedly ramming Zale’s head into the side of the ring. Vicious!

Lieberjosch: Back over in ring two, it looks like The Dark Lotus has found what he was looking for.

As Draven holds Spyder up, Lotus slides into the ring holding a sledgehammer. Lotus begins trash-talking Spyder, before rearing back and swinging the sledgehammer with all of his might. Spyder moves at the last second, and the sledgehammer connects with the skull of Draven, sending him to the mat in a crumpled heap.

Vinegar: Oh my God, that was the most sickening sound I think I’ve ever heard. Lotus was trying to take Spyder out, but ended up hitting Draven. And things don’t look good for Draven.

Lieberjosch: Of course things don’t look good for Draven. He’s currently lying in the center of the ring, twitching.

As Lotus turns back to Spyder, James lands an uppercut to Lotus’ throat. Lotus drops the sledgehammer, and Spyder kicks it out of the ring. He then hits a running knee to Lotus, sending the big man careening into the ropes. Spyder ties Lotus’ arms up in the ropes, and then begins pummeling him with right hands to the face and chest.

Lieberjosch: Spyder is really laying in to The Dark Lotus now. Frustrations from yesteryear rearing their ugly head.

Vinegar: Back over to ring three, Langford and Pax joined forces for a few minutes to incapacitate Tre Crawford, and now they have turned their attention to each other.

The two of them tie up, with Pax connecting with a knee to Langford’s gut. He hits a European Uppercut, and then backs her into the ropes, whipping her off. Langford bounds off the ropes and runs right into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Pax stomps her head, and then drops a leg across her throat. Back to his feet, Pax climbs to the top of the nearest turnbuckle, and hits a frog splash. Owen Peterson begins the count as Pax hooks the leg: 1…..2.KICK OUT!!!!!

Vinegar: Ezekiel Pax with a near fall on Erika Langford, and Tre Crawford is still out on the floor. These two really did a number on him in the early going.

Lieberjosch: Pax is taking Langford to school right now. And school is where she should be. Not here in UGWC.

Vinegar: She’s actually very talented in the ring, Hans.

Lieberjosch: That is totally irrelevant, Nicholas. She’s 15 years old. She should be having fun with friends, and sneaking out of the house to go to the movies. Instead, she’s here getting her ass handed to her by a former Chaos Champ. What was Jet Somers thinking?

Vinegar: That is something that you will have to take up with him, Hans. Focusing our attention back to the main ring, Colin Zale currently has Vlad trapped in a half Boston crab.

Referee Glenn Burke is checking on Vlad, asking if he gives up. Even though he has nowhere to go, Vlad refuses to submit. This only serves to bring a slight smile across the face of Colin Zale, as he rears back a little further on the move.

Vinegar: Colin Zale has Vlad trapped in the center of the ring. You have to wonder how much more pain Vlad will be able to take.

Lieberjosch: I’m still wondering where in the world the third competitor is for that matchup.

Vinegar: As Zale continues to work on Vlad, let’s make our way back over to ring two. The Dark Lotus was able to free himself from the ring ropes, but James Spyder has been relentless on the attack.

Lieberjosch: And Draven is still unconscious out on the floor. In fact, what’s going on over there?

EMT’s have come out to ring two, and have been attending to Draven. They have fitted him with a neck brace, and strapped him on to a backboard. Counting to three, numerous EMT’s lift Draven up with the utmost care, and place him onto a stretcher. Strapping him down, they begin making their way to the backstage area.

Vinegar: You have to feel bad for Draven. He’s been out of the business for a few years, and tonight was a night where I’m sure he had been hoping to turn heads. And to have this happen is extremely unfortunate.

Lieberjosch: The Dark Lotus really turned Draven’s head with that sledgehammer shot.

Vinegar: That’s not funny, Hans.

Lieberjosch: It wasn’t meant to be, Nicholas.

Vinegar: In ring three, Crawford has finally gotten back into the action, and he is currently in control of Ezekiel Pax with a figure four leglock.

Owen Peterson is asking Pax if he quits, when Erika Langford springboards off the top rope, and connects with a bodysplash to Tre Crawford, forcing him to release the hold on Pax. Langford is up quickly, connecting with a running dropkick to Crawford as he sits up. She then hauls off and kicks Crawford as hard as she can.

Vinegar: HUNTER VALLEY STOMP to Crawford, and he’s out of it.

Lieberjosch: And yet, she doesn’t go for the cover. That just shows her lack of experience, Nicholas.

Langford moves over to Pax, who is still holding his knee. She flips him over onto his stomach, ties up his legs, and then bridges back, grabbing him under the chin and wrenching it back.

Vinegar: Langford has Pax trapped in the center of the ring, as he frantically searches for a way out.

Lieberjosch: Things are getting interesting again in the main ring and ring two, as well. The Dark Lotus stopped James Spyder in his tracks with a wicked low blow, and Vlad is now in control of Colin Zale, having connected with a perfectly executed jumping roundhouse kick, and following it up with a scrapbuster slam.

Vlad hooks the leg, and Glenn Burke makes the count: 1…..2…..KICK OUT!!!!!

Vinegar: Zale JUST got the shoulder up, as Vlad eyes the official in frustration.

Lieberjosch: What’s this???

A man is shown hopping over the guardrail, and sliding under the bottom rope. Vlad has gotten to his feet, and as he turns, stops in horror.

Vinegar: Is that?

Lieberjosch: Dear God, it’s Raenius! I had heard that he was released, but never in my wildest dreams did I think we’d see HIM here tonight!

Vinegar: Do you think he could be the other participant in this match?

Lieberjosch: For Zale and Vlad’s sake, I hope not.

As Vlad moves in, Raenius pulls a heavy chain from his pocket. Swinging it wildly, it comes crashing into Vlad’s skull, sending him down to the mat. Raenius stands over top of him and begins whipping him across the back with the chain. He then kneels down over top of Vlad and wraps the chain around his neck, rearing back as he attempts to choke him out.

Vinegar: Raenius is a bad, bad man.

Lieberjosch: Raenius is a psychotic man.

Vinegar: That’s what I said.

Lieberjosch: Colin Zale doesn’t know what to do.

Zale has gotten back to his feet, and is watching what is happening in front of him. Raenius releases the choke just as Vlad is about to pass out. He stands, and then turns and stares at Colin Zale.

Vinegar: Zale best be ready. Raenius doesn’t seem to be in that good of a mood this evening.

Lieberjosch: I just can’t get over the fact that he was released. He needs to still be locked up. The man is psychotic.

Raenius stares at Zale for a few very uncomfortable moments, and then backpedals towards the ropes. He exits the ring, disappearing from whence he came.

Vinegar: And just like that, he’s gone. Why did he only target Vlad, but leave Colin intact?

Lieberjosch: Why has Raenius done anything that he has done during the course of his career? The only person that truly understands Raenius…is Raenius.

Zale moves over to Vlad. Rolling him over, he makes the cover, and Glenn Burke makes the count: 1…..2…..3!!!!!

Vinegar: And Colin Zale moves on in the tournament. And thanks to the DMW’s rules for tonight…so does Raenius.

Lieberjosch: I wonder if he will be on time for the next match?

Vinegar: We shall see, but back to ring three, Ezekiel Pax has just connected with an Enziguri to Tre Crawford, sending him off the top turnbuckle where he was perched, and causing his head to ricochet off of the ring steps as he fell to the floor.

Lieberjosch: But look out for Langford.

From behind, Langford lands a forearm to the small of Pax’s back. Turning him around, she attempts a bulldog, but Pax shrugs her off, sending her towards the corner. Langford scales all three and jumps, twisting her body in mid-air, and connecting with a knee right between the eyes of Pax.

Vinegar: THE HIGH SHOT by Langford! And she makes the cover.

Owen Peterson makes the count: 1…..2…..3!!!!!

Vinegar: Erika Langford just pinned Ezekiel Pax!

Lieberjosch: I do not believe what I just saw. How did she pull that off?

Vinegar: I told you that she was talented, Hans. And she just proved it by beating a former UGWC Chaos Champion. Unbelievable!

Lieberjosch: We’re down to our last quarterfinal matchup, but it looks like this has now turned into a two-on-one.

Vinegar: Right you are, Hans. Once Colin Zale advanced, he wasted no time in inserting himself into James Spyder’s match. And the two of them are completely having their way with The Dark Lotus. And there is nothing that referee Brian Chartreuse can do about it.

Lieberjosch: Zale and Spyder are acting like they are dismantling the Denucci Empire all over again!

Zale and Spyder have just connected with a vicious double powerbomb. Zale grabs Lotus by the hair and drags him towards the corner. Jerking him up, he lifts him into the air, and places him on the top turnbuckle. He says something to Spyder, who nods in agreement. They both latch onto Lotus, and then send him crashing to the mat.

Vinegar: Colin Zale and James Spyder just hit a double top rope Ace Cutter, and this one has to be over, folks.

James Spyder places a foot on the chest of The Dark Lotus, and Brian Chartreuse makes the count: 1…..2…..3!!!!!

Vinegar: Mercifully, that one is over. James Spyder advances in the tournament, but what about Draven? He didn’t lose the match, but the way things looked earlier, I do not believe he will be in any condition to wrestle later.

Lieberjosch: You are correct, Nicholas. We’ll have to wait and see what happens.

Vinegar: We’ll be back with more action, live from WRESTLESTOCK!

Commercial Break

The scene opens to the inside of what can only be described as West Virginia’s flashiest strip club. Lights flash, almost blindingly, against highly polished silver poles, some stretching higher than others and making the viewer wonder exactly how anyone could scale such a monstrosity. The background music of My Darkest Days “Porn Star Dancing” grows louder as we get views of a large bar, complete with a bearded, longhaired bartender bearing the cuts of DMW’s Appalachian Chapter performing various tricks with the bottles.

Women of ranging ages, races, and figures prance around in skimpy attire, the camera following one blonde with unbelievable… assets… up a winding staircase. Coming down the same staircase is a familiar baldheaded, heavily bearded figure who slaps the blonde heartily on her biggest… asset… as he comes down, throwing his arms open in welcome as he notices the camera.

Chaos: Welcome to MiXXXie’s, Chaos here, glad to have ya, and welcome to WRESTLESTOCK!!

He throws his head back and roars the ending, completely drowning out the music. He jumps down the remaining steps and waves to the camera to follow him as he moves through the club.

Chaos: As you can see, we’re just opening for the night, but MiXXXie’s Adult Toy and Novelty Shop has been open for hours!

He grins eagerly as he pushes a door open and steps through into what almost appears to be a prop shop for a porn studio. Chaos snatches up a 4 foot double-headed purple jelly dong, waggling at the camera.

Chaos: Where else can you go to see some fine ass broads, get a taste of some Devil’s Reserve, and pick up one of these bad boys at the same time? I hear Travis Pierce has one of each color. From what I understand, Jet Somers prefers the beads.

He holds a hand up and talks behind it conspiratorially before angling his head in the direction of some obscenely large… hopefully those are Mardi Gras beads. Good lord.

Chaos: And to top that off, the girls here all come fully equipped with beer-flavored boobie tassels. That’s something to wet your whistle on!

As if to punctuate his statement, a busty brunette wanders by, her tassels swinging with the vibrations of the music. Chaos licks his lips as he watches her, and then shakes his head as if he had forgotten where he was for the moment. He clears his throat.

Chaos: So if you ever find yourself up in the Bunker Hill region of West Virginia, bring your ass to MiXXXie’s, where pleasure is our business. And business…it’s fuckin’ great!

Scene fades.

[DrunkenBuzzsaw]

The scene opens back up to the main stage, where Down completely owns their timeslot.

(Open Coffins)

As Down finishes the song, the camera feed switches to the DMW locker room. Chaos is shown seated on the sofa. He speaks.

Chaos: Congratulations to NBK, Marek Daisuke, Colin Zale, James Spyder, Erika Langford, and…The Piercing Nutsack…for winning their quarterfinal matchups here tonight, and advancing on to the semis. And since I’m such a nice guy, congratulations also to Seito Risa, Quentin Barnes, Gian Jones, Raenius, Tre Crawford, and Draven, for backing into the semifinals by not losing their quarterfinal match. Although in Draven’s case, I’m not sure he really cares about that right now. It’s only going to get tougher from here, you whores, so I hope you didn’t wear yourselves out already…because the night is just getting started.

The camera feed abruptly switches back to the announcers table, just as a handful of scantily clad women emerge from the shower in the DMW locker room.

Vinegar: Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. We’ve had an action-packed day here so far, and we still have a ways to go.

Lieberjosch: The first two semifinal matches are up next, and they will be taking place in rings two and three.

Vinegar: That’s right, Hans, because the middle ring is being prepared for the monstrosity that will be the Clubhouse Rules Match.

Lieberjosch: I have a feeling by the end of the night, things will be completely out of hand.

Vinegar: Before we get back to the action, let’s go to Covert Jay, who has been making his way through the park grounds most of the evening.

Lieberjosch: Is that the politically correct way of saying that he got lost, and couldn’t find his way back?

Vinegar: Covert Jay, take it away.

The camera feed switches over to Covert Jay, as he wades through the seas of people that are enjoying all of the festivities that WRESTLESTOCK has to offer.

Covert Jay: Nicholas and Hans, I have seen some amazing things out here tonight. The fans have been great, the food is top notch, and the who’s-who of people that I’ve seen has been off the charts.

Vinegar: What has been your favorite thing so far, Jay?

Covert Jay: Honestly, as much as I enjoyed talking to Bronze Vain for a half-an-hour – of which, he is actually very articulate for a man of his statue…

Lieberjosch: Don’t you mean “stature”, you twit?

Covert Jay: Yeah, that’s what I said. Anyway, as much fun as that was, Robert Ooley’s “Guess Your Speed” baseball booth that has been set up probably lead to the most fun. After three or four kids correctly guessed how fast they were going to throw the ball, good ole’ Bob started chasing them around with Louis. I’ve never see 8-year-olds move that fast!

Vinegar: Anything you would like to add, Jay?

Covert Jay: DREW BREES!!!!!!!

Vinegar: Football season isn’t far away for you Saints fans, but WRESTLESTOCK is NOW.

Lieberjosch: You’re right, and the participants for the first set of semifinal matches have already made their way to the ring.

Vinegar: Indeed they have, Hans. Over in ring two, we have the new UGWC Chaos Champion, NBK, taking on Erika Langford and Marek Daisuke.

Lieberjosch: Erika Langford was lucky to escape the quarterfinal match with a win over Ezekiel Pax. I have a feeling her luck is about to run out.

Vinegar: And in ring three, Gian Jones is taking on PPW’s Tre Crawford.

Lieberjosch: Yes, it looks like, due to what happened to Draven earlier, this quarterfinal matchup will be one-on-one. And the winner moves on to the Clubhouse Rules match, for a chance at winning the UGWC Chaos Championship.

Vinegar: Claude de Rhombus has rang the bell, and the first two semifinal matches are now underway. What are the keys for the participants in these two matches, Hans?

Lieberjosch: Well, with all of them having already fought here tonight, the best thing for all of them is to try to win as quickly as they can, so that they are able to rest as much as they can, before the Clubhouse Rules match.

Vinegar: For you folks at home, bear in mind that unlike the quarterfinals round where two members advanced, here in the semifinals, it’s win…or go home.

Lieberjosch: Gian Jones and Tre Crawford are hammering away at one another over in ring three.

Jones and Crawford are trading punches, with Jones gaining the early advantage. Backing Crawford against the ropes, Jones then lands a two-handed chop to the throat. Taking a few steps back, Jones runs towards Crawford, and clotheslines him over the top rope. Jones steps through the ropes, and hops to the floor.

Vinegar: And Jones and Crawford have already made their way outside the ring.

Lieberjosch: Gian better not sleep on Tre Crawford. I somewhat kept track of him early on in his career, and he has all of the tools to go on to the finals, and win.

Vinegar: Back over in ring two, Daisuke just nailed a missile dropkick from the top rope on Erika Langford, but turned right into a belly-to-belly suplex by NBK.

NBK grabs Langford and takes off running, driving her hard into the mat with a running powerslam. Daisuke is back to his feet, but is taken back down by a running lariat from NBK. NBK stands over Daisuke measuring him, and then falls to the mat, driving his head into Daisuke’s chest. Straddling him, NBK begins connecting with head butt after head butt, busting the nose of Daisuke open. NBK stands, as Langford bounds off the ropes towards him. At the last second, NBK bends over, back-dropping Erika Langford over the top rope, and down to the floor below.

Vinegar: NBK is on fire here in this match, and the way things are going, he may be close to ending things.

Lieberjosch: I knew Langford was in over her head, but I thought Daisuke would do a better job of keeping NBK off balance. So far, that hasn’t been the case.

Vinegar: It looks like Gian Jones and Tre Crawford have finally made their way back into the ring. They fought out on the floor for a good two or three minutes, and Gian Jones had things well under control…but a reversal sent Gian Jones head first into the steel ring steps. Crawford then found himself a fire extinguisher under the ring, and sprayed Gian Jones directly in the face with it.

Lieberjosch: And I still don’t think that Jones is able to really see, Nicholas.

Crawford is now having fun with Jones, playfully slapping at him, and backing away as Jones swings wildly around.

Vinegar: Completely disrespectful by Tre Crawford. He should stop playing around, and focus on winning the match.

Crawford takes a step back, and then connects with a savate kick, sending Jones to the mat. Crawford climbs to the top rope and jumps off, kicking his legs out and landing on top of Jones with his back. He makes the cover, and referee Sam Green makes the count: 1…..2…..KICK OUT!!!!!

Vinegar: Jones got his shoulder up at the very last second. I thought this one was over.

Lieberjosch: Gian Jones is a tough guy, no doubt about it.

Vinegar: Back over to ring two, NBK is still firmly in control.

Out on the floor, NBK has picked Daisuke up. He takes off running, driving Daisuke’s spine into the steel ring post. He then slams Daisuke onto the floor, before sliding back into the ring, where Erika Langford is trying to get to her feet.

Vinegar: NBK might have broken Daisuke in half on that ring post. And he didn’t seem to care.

Lieberjosch: Why should he? This tournament is for the Chaos Championship. Besides, when has NBK ever been a compassionate person?

Vinegar: Point taken, Hans.

NBK whips Langford across the ring…she slides under his legs as he comes towards her, and then connects with a straight kick to the stomach. She then connects with a high knee, following it up with a dropkick, sending NBK to the mat.

Vinegar: Erika Langford is trying to get some momentum now.

NBK back to his feet, as is taken back down with a perfectly executed head-scissors takeover. Langford springs off the middle rope and connects with a moonsault onto NBK. She covers, and Hazel East makes the count: 1…..KICK OUT!!!!!

Vinegar: Langford was only able to get a one count there.

Lieberjosch: She’s going to have to do a lot more than that, to keep NBK down for a count of three.

Vinegar: Back over to ring three, Gian Jones is showing some signs of life again, after having his head driven into the ring steps ten minutes or so ago.

Lieberjosch: Tre Crawford had all the chances in the world to win this matchup, and was unable to put Gian Jones away.

A knee to the stomach doubles Jones over. Crawford bounds off the ropes…Jones ducks a clothesline…Crawford back towards him…LYNCHING on Crawford!

Vinegar: Gian Jones just hit his finisher out of nowhere.

Lieberjosch: But he’s not going for a cover, Nicholas. That’s a mistake.

Jones grabs Crawford and pulls him to his feet. He grabs his arms, turns, another LYNCHING. Jones makes the cover, and San Green counts: 1…..2…..3!!!!!

Vinegar: Gian Jones hit two huge Lynchings on Tre Crawford, and he becomes the first participant in the Clubhouse Rules match at the end of the night.

Lieberjosch: Gian Jones is having a coming out party, here tonight. We still don’t know who will join him in that four way match, but whoever it is better be wary of this Star of Tomorrow. Because if he has his way…”tomorrow” will be “today”.

Vinegar: Back to ring two, Daisuke has somehow managed to get back into the ring, and has NBK against the ropes. Erika Langford comes out of nowhere to hit UNDERESTIMATED, causing Daisuke to stumble back. NBK takes off and plants Daisuke with RUMOR HAS IT. As NBK gets back to his feet, Langford connects with THE HIGH SHOT, sending NBK rolling out of the ring. Langford goes for a pin attempt, hooking the leg on Daisuke. Hazel East makes the count: 1…..2…..3!!!!!

Lieberjosch: Oh Dear God, Erika Langford has just advanced to the Clubhouse Rules match.

Vinegar: Not only that, Hans, but she just won the Chaos Championship! And she joins Gian Jones in the finals!

Mitchell Dennis: Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of this match, and NEW UGWC CHAOS CHAMPION…..ERRIIIIKKAAAAAAAA LAAANNGGFOOORRRDDDDDD!!!!!

Lieberjosch: I am at a complete loss for words, Nicholas.

Vinegar: This young 15-year-old phenom came into WRESTLESTOCK with a lot to prove…and now finds herself as the Chaos Champion!

Lieberjosch: I…..let’s just go to a commercial break.

Vinegar: Ladies and Gentlemen, we will be right back with the final two semifinal matches.

Commercial Break

The scene opens to a white screen with the Piercing Media Network logo in the background. Travis Pierce enters the line of the camera from off-screen looking immaculate in a well-tailored suit and tie. He flashes the camera one of his winning smiles.

Pierce: Hello. I’m Travis Pierce, representing the Piercing Media Network, and I’m here to tell you what we can do for you.

He punctuates the word “you” by pointing out to the audience.

Pierce: As I’m sure everyone already knows--

The speech cuts out from the advertisement, Travis’ mouth still moving as another track plays over it, obviously not in Travis’ voice.

“Pierce”: I LOVE the cock!

Travis continues talking and starts to point to the current background that has taken the place of the white from before, singling something out. As he does so, a bright green mark starts to move across the screen, drawing a very cartoon-style penis that seems to be…spraying… the green color all over Pierce’s face. The real Travis’ voice breaks back through.

Pierce: Let me help you. After all, PMN owns you, but I’m sure there’s a piece of the pie you can snatch up… somewhere.

The green lines move across the screen writing “Blah blah blah blah” over and over, the words eventually covering the screen as it fades to black. Professional-looking type takes its place, “Paid for by the Piercing Media Network”. The word “Piercing” is suddenly crossed out and “Pompous Ass” is written in its place.

The screen fades out again.

[DrunkenBuzzsaw]

The camera feed comes back on showing the announcer booth.

Vinegar: Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. Half of our final match is set, with Gian Jones and Erika Langford both having already advanced to the four-way Clubhouse Rules match. All that is left now is to fill those final two slots.

Lieberjosch: I don’t know about you, Nicholas, but I’m glad this is on PPV. Some of our “sponsors” haven’t been very kid friendly.

Vinegar: Even the advertisements are pure chaos, Hans. I digress, the participants for the last two semifinal matches made their way to the ring during the break, and boy oh boy at the two matches we have.

Lieberjosch: The Piercing Media Network better hope their saying “We Own You” rings true, because Travis Pierce is in a bad, bad situation right now.

Vinegar: Ring two showcases the woman that started tonight as the UGWC Chaos Champion, Seito Risa, squaring off against former PPW superstar Quentin Barnes, and everyone’s favorite resident lunatic, Raenius.

Lieberjosch: And ring three is where Travis Pierce is squaring off against Colin Zale, and James Spyder.

Vinegar: Is it a coincidence that, a night Chaos spear-headed, is a night where Travis Pierce is basically thrown into a handicap match?

Lieberjosch: Good sources have told me that these matches were all determined fairly.

Vinegar: What? Did Chaos draw names out of a hat?

Lieberjosch: No, beer caps.

Vinegar: Why am I not surprised?

Lieberjosch: The action is fast-paced over in ring two. Seito Risa is using her decided speed advantage to keep Quentin Barnes completely off balance.

Vinegar: What I am confused about though, is the fact that Raenius still hasn’t entered the ring yet. He’s currently just standing out on the floor, watching the action in the ring.

Barnes has reversed a whip to the ropes. Attempting a back body drop, he bends over. Risa jumps in the air, rolling across the back of Barnes in the process, continues to the other ropes, and as Barnes turns around, he is met with a spinning heel kick. Back on her feet, Risa kicks Barnes in the back of the head with a standing side kick, then bounds off the ropes, grabs Barnes around the head as she jumps, and drives him into the mat with a neckbreaker. Barnes back to his feet and Risa sends him to the ropes. He bounds off and is hit with a Gut Check, and then a Chin Kick. Risa makes the cover, and referee Owen Peterson makes the count: 1…..2..KICK OUT!!!!!

Vinegar: As Raenius continues looking on, Risa is really taking it to Quentin Barnes. She must really want her title back.

Lieberjosch: And the only way that can possibly happen, is if she comes out victorious in this match, so that she moves on to the finals.

Vinegar: Speaking of coming out victorious, I didn’t like Travis Pierce’s chances in this match, but so far, he has managed to keep both Zale and Spyder off their game plan, as well as off their feet.

Lieberjosch: He needs to keep at it, if he wants to have ANY chance of fighting in the finals.

Pierce has hit numerous rolling German suplexes on James Spyder, and now turns his attention to Colin Zale. Zale comes towards him, but Pierce takes him down with an arm drag. Zale back to his feet, and this time is sent down with a hip toss. Zale back up a third time…Pierce ducks under a clothesline attempt, and then connects with an Atomic Drop. As Zale stumbles back around, Travis Pierce kicks him in the face with a dropkick. Zale hits the mat and rolls out of the ring. Pierce moves over towards Spyder and cinches in a headlock.

Vinegar: Imagine that, Travis Pierce is putting on a wrestling clinic, during a hardcore match.

Lieberjosch: Imagine if he would end up winning the Chaos Title here tonight. A night that the DMW created…to have Travis Pierce – and by extention, PMN - end up standing tall at the end of the night, would be the ultimate slap in the face to Cypress and Chaos.

Vinegar: And if he can find a way to beat one of the greatest tag teams to grace a wrestling ring, there is a very real possibility that could happen.

Covert Jay: Hey guys, did I miss anything?

Lieberjosch: Did you miss anything? You’ve been gone over an hour!

Covert Jay: So..did I miss anything?

Vinegar: Back to ring two, Quentin Barnes has finally managed to get some offense going in this matchup.

Lieberjosch: Hitting snake eyes on the top rope, and then unceremoniously dumping Risa on the back of her head with a powerbomb, can certainly turn a match around rather quickly.

As Barnes stomps away at the prone Risa, Raenius hops up onto the ring apron. Holding an aluminum baseball bat in hand, he steps through the ropes. Silently he walks up behind Barnes, and then takes a swing.

Vinegar: Raenius just crushed Barnes in the back of the knee with that baseball bat.

Lieberjosch: Barnes crumpled to the mat in absolute agony.

Covert Jay: Wait…Raenius is back?

Lieberjosch: Shut up, Jay.

Raenius continuously jabs the top of the bat into everything that he can. Knees, elbows, shoulders, chest…anything that isn’t covered up, is getting pummeled with the baseball bat. Flinging the bat to the side, Raenius stands over top of both Barnes and Risa.

Vinegar: I’m afraid to know what is currently going through Raenius’ mind, Hans.

Lieberjosch: As am I, Nicholas. As am I.

Vinegar: Back to ring three, Pierce – surprisingly – is still in control.

Lieberjosch: The action spilled outside, and Zale and Spyder took control for a little while. All that changed, however, when Zale picked Pierce up and attempted to run his head into the ring post. Pierce slid down his back, and it was Zale’s face that met the cold, hard steel. Spyder attempted to spear Pierce, but Travis was too quick, and Spyder ended up running himself into the ring steps.

Vinegar: Travis Pierce is finding a way, Hans. True champions always do.

Covert Jay: He hasn’t won the title yet, Nicholas.

Lieberjosch: That’s one of the few things you’ve said tonight, that I haven’t thought was completely asinine.

Covert Jay: Thanks buddy.

Spyder has been rolled back into the ring, and Pierce is slowly circling him. As Spyder begins making his way to his feet, Pierce calls for his finisher.

Vinegar: Travis Pierce is looking to end it right here, Hans.

Lieberjosch: He better pay attention to Colin Zale…because Zale doesn’t look happy at all.

Spyder stands and turns, and Pierce takes off.

Vinegar: THE PIERCING TRUTH onto Spyder! This one might be over!

Colin Zale comes sliding into the ring and cracks Pierce over the head with a steel chair.

Lieberjosch: I bet Pierce wishes he had eyes in the back of his head.

Vinegar: As Zale waits for Pierce to stand back up…over in ring two, Raenius has systematically taken apart Quentin Barnes.

Lieberjosch: And Seito Risa has wisely steered clear of this maniac.

Raenius lifts Barnes onto his shoulders, and then dumps him with a Death Valley Driver. He lifts Barnes off of the mat again, picks him back up, and hits a second Death Valley Driver. Raenius drags the unconscious body of Quentin Barnes to his feet, hooking Barnes’ head under his arm. He then kicks out Barnes’ leg, and drops to the mat.

Vinegar: Raenius just hit THE RIPPERSNAPPER on Quentin Barnes, and Barnes is out cold.

Lieberjosch: Risa doesn’t know what to do, as Raenius just stands there, looking down at Barnes.

Vinegar: She’s slowly walking towards Raenius. God only knows why!

Raenius suddenly turns and takes off.

Vinegar: FULL FRONTAL on Seito Risa.

Lieberjosch: I think he broke her in half, Nicholas.

As the crowd goes nuts over the carnage, Raenius grabs Risa by the arm, and drags her over towards Barnes.

Vinegar: Raenius just dragged Risa over and draped her arm over Barnes.

Lieberjosch: And now he’s exiting the ring.

Owen Peterson makes the count: 1…..2…..3!!!!!

Vinegar: Thanks to Raenius, Seito Risa just advanced to the Clubhouse Rules Match!

Lieberjosch: Someone should wake her up to tell her.

Covert Jay: I’ll go tell her, one ninja to another.

Vinegar: Sit down, Jay!

Lieberjosch: Back in ring three, Zale and Spyder are firmly in control now.

Colin Zale whips Pierce towards Spyder, who plants him with a gore. Zale grabs the chair, and throws it down onto the mat.

Lieberjosch: I don’t like the looks of this.

Vinegar: My God! They just hit a stump piledriver on Pierce…onto the steel chair!

Lieberjosch: Pierce isn’t moving. Now it’s just a matter of which one covers him for the win.

Zale and Spyder both stare down at Pierce, and then look up at one another. Zale nods at Spyder, and Spyder nods back at Zale. The two of them then step through the ropes, and begin heading up the ramp.

Vinegar: Where are they going? The match isn’t over yet.

Lieberjosch: Apparently, it is for them. They proved their point.

Vinegar: Brian Chartreuse doesn’t know what to do, as he watches Zale and Spyder walk away.

After a few seconds of confusion, the official begins his 10 count. He reaches 10, and then calls for the bell.

Vinegar: It looks like Zale and Spyder have been counted out, which means that Travis Pierce has been awarded the match. Pierce wins!

Lieberjosch: He sure doesn’t look like a winner right now though, does he Nicholas?

Covert Jay: NINJA!

Vinegar: Folks, with Risa and Pierce both advancing, our Clubhouse Rules match is now set. The four participants will be former Chaos champion Seito Risa, PMN’s own Travis Pierce, “Star of Tomorrow” Gian Jones, and the UGWC Chaos Champion Erika Langford.

Lieberjosch: With the condition that Risa and Pierce are both in, things look good for Gian Jones and Erika Langford.

Vinegar: We’ll be right back, after a word from our sponsors!

Commercial Break

Black Label Society’s “Suicide Messiah” slams into being and as the first notes hit, what looks like a large rundown building is shown, a brightly lit neon sign proclaiming the building the “Sucker Punch Saloon.”

Walk through the streets that know your name
All that's pure is now insane
Step inside, I've been waiting here for you

The camera pans along the front of the bar where motorcycles of various makes and models lined up before entering through the large double doors. Inside is a loud, raucous good time with laughter, yelling, and glasses clinking all around. A familiar figure steps out from the chaos.

Cypress: I’m Cypress Morgan, this is WRESTLESTOCK, and welcome to the Sucker Punch Saloon!

A cheer erupts around him from bikers and other patrons alike. He raises a longneck bottle in a silent toast to his customers.

Cypress: The next time you’re in the New Orleans area, stop on by, try some of our own specially brewed Devil’s Reserve, and see camaraderie at its best, from my family to yours.

Another cheer goes up.

A pale arm decorated with various tattoo designs snakes around his waist as his wife, Jezebel, moves into the frame. His arm comes up out of habit and she snuggles into his side, his arm draped around her. She smiles into the camera and “whispers” in his ear.

Jezebel: Honey, don’t forget to tell them about the deal.

Cypress chuckles and kisses her forehead.

Cypress: That’s right, for a limited time, show up wearing your DMW Supporter gear or a “Jet Somers is Shit” t-shirt, and get your first beer free!

A chant goes up around the bar of “PMN are pussies!”, as Jezebel and Cypress look at each other, grinning mischievously.

Cypress: As you can see, it’s never a dull place, so stop by and visit…..unless you’re a PMN pussy!

Jezebel Saint holds up the devil horns as the scene fades to loud hoots and laughter.

[DrunkenBuzzsaw]

The camera feed fades back in to the stage. Corrosion of Conformity is currently playing.

(Clean My Wounds)

As Corrosion of Conformity finishes their set, the camera feed switches back over to the announcers table.

Vinegar: Welcome back to WRESTLESTOCK, ladies and gentlemen. This entire day has been filled with great music, a TON of action in the ring, and it all comes down to this: Clubhouse Rules.

Lieberjosch: Right you are, Nicholas. At the top of the night, Chaos came out and let us all know exactly what would transpire here tonight. Now I’m not sure how he managed to get the Powers That Be to give him that much control of the show, but I’ll be honest…it’s been spectacular!

Covert Jay: I’ve had a blast.

Vinegar: I will admit, while I was skeptical of how things might play out, the race to the chase of the Chaos Championship has been extremely exciting. I’m not sure I’ll ever say this again, but Chaos did a bang-up job here tonig…

Before Vinegar can say another word, “Mountain Man” begins blaring over the loudspeakers. Chaos and Bloodhound appear from behind the curtain that leads to the back. Stopping at the top of the stage, Chaos looks out at the sea of people. HIS people. He brings a microphone to his lips.

Chaos: I told everyone tonight would be insane. And rightfully so, seeing as how nobody knows chaos better…well…than Chaos.

The fans in attendance all roar in approval and – you guessed – more revving of motorcycle engines. These things have been full throttle a good portion of the night. A huge grin spreads across the face of “The Drunken Buzzsaw”.

Chaos: And I couldn’t let the Clubhouse Rules match start, without coming out and causing a bit more chaos…and a bit of hate and discontent. That means you, Vinegar.

Chaos points down towards the announcers, as Vinegar sits straight up.

Vinegar: What is he talking about? Why’s he singling me out?

Covert Jay: If you were trained in the way of the nin-jit-su, maybe he wouldn’t have seen you sitting there?

Chaos: Vinegar…you’ve done a pretty good job here tonight. So good, in fact, that I’m giving you the rest of the night off.

Chaos and Bloodhound begin walking down the ramp, on their way towards the announcers table.

Vinegar: The rest of the night off? What in the hell is he talking about? I have a job to do!

Lieberjosch: Apparently you’ve done it so well tonight, that you deserve a break, Nicholas.

Vinegar: I am not in the mood for your sarcasm right now, Hans.

As Chaos stops in front of the table, Vinegar stands up and looks at him. Bloodhound walks around and stands behind Vinegar.

Vinegar: What are you doing, Chaos? You’re holding up the show – which isn’t even over yet – and you’re keeping me from doing my job.

Chaos: You’re finished doing your job tonight, Vinegar. I’m giving you the rest of the night off.

Vinegar attempts to speak, but Chaos waves him off.

Chaos: The decision is made, Vinegar. We can’t very well have a Clubhouse Rules match, and NOT have members of DMW calling it! That’d just be asinine.

Before Vinegar can say anything, Bloodhound reaches out and yanks his headset off of his head. Vinegar, dejectedly, begins slowly making his way up the ramp.

Chaos: Oh, and Vinegar?

Nicholas Vinegar wheels around…a hopeful smile half-forming on his lips. Chaos immediately crushes his hopes.

Chaos: Take this piece of shit with you, too. He’s worthless.

As Chaos says the word “worthless”, Bloodhound has yanked Covert Jay out of his chair, and shoved him towards Nicholas Vinegar. The two men make their way up the ramp, as Chaos brings the microphone back to his lips.

Chaos: And without further adieu, our special guest referee for this match…my friend…my brother…and the PRESIDENT OF THE DEVIL’S MOST WANTED…CYPRESS…MORGAN!

The lights throughout the arena slowly fade to black and the atmosphere of the stands becomes ghastly eerie as the dim lights of a few lighters are held up from the fans who get to their feet. The lights surrounding the entrance begin to flicker quickly as the arena is deafened with an explosion of sound as Black Label Society's "World of Trouble" rips through the scene like a chainsaw to the ear drums, some who know him bobbing their heads to the music others throwing up hex symbols made with their hands as the lights around the entrance begin to pulsate and flicker faster in a strobe like fashion. The video appears as if filmed in a "grindhouse" styled burned film look of a highway, filled with bikers the screen moves into a mix of scenes of Cypress in the ring and back to flocking masses of bikers adorning a clubhouse, scenes of riots, bar fights, rally's and visions of good old fashioned anarchy and chaos The fans stand in one and become a sea of moving chants and jeers as through the entrance way slowly creeps the iconic“All American Asshole” Cypress Morgan. He stops at the top of the ramp and watches the arena through the eyes of what some call madness one of his trademark cigars clenched between his pearly white teeth, and a bottle of beer in hand as he begins to walk to the ring. Looking to him the fans burst into fits of cheers and boos. Cypress walks to the steps and makes his way into the ring, climbing through the ropes slowly, stalking his way to the corner. The lights return to normal as he nonchalantly looks at each competitor.

Lieberjosch: About time I had some talent surrounding me. It is almost impossible to carry those two for an entire day, Chaos. And Cypress as the ref? BRILLIANT!

Chaos: I try. I really do. And I feel for ya, Hans. But forget about Vinegar and Jay…whaddaya say we call this bitch?

Lieberjosch: My pleasure.

Mitchell Dennis stands in the center of the ring, looking to each side at the monstrosity that surrounds him. He brings the microphone to his lips.

Mitchell Dennis: Ladies and Gentlemen, it is time for our Main Event. It is time for…THE CLUBHOUSE RULES MATCH!

More cheering from the biker crowd.

Lieberjosch: They really love you guys down here, Chaos.

Bloodhound: You sound surprised.

Lieberjosch: Well I guess that shouldn’t surprise me. Chaos just getting hit in the back of the head with a pair of women’s panties, however, does surprise me.

Chaos looks over at Hans and chuckles.

Lieberjosch: Ok, only slightly does it surprise me.

Mitchell Dennis: Introducing first, standing 6’3” and weighing in at 245 pounds…he hails from Los Angeles, CA…..GIIIAAANNNNNN JOOOOOONNNEESSSSSSS!!!!!

"Forever" by Drake comes over the PA, as Gian pushes the curtain aside, a grin plastered on his face. He is unfazed by cheers or boos as he makes his way to the ring. He shies away as several fans of various races attempt to reach out to shake hands. Finally he climbs in the ring, looking at the two chain walls that are on either side of the ring.

Lieberjosch: Gian Jones has really impressed here tonight, in my humble opinion. The way he handled a very game Tre Crawford was very impressive.

Chaos: I’ll give the kid some credit. I’ve been in the ring with him. No matter what anyone says…he’s a tough fucking bastard.

Bloodhound: A racist bastard, too.

Chaos: Everyone has their flaws, ‘Hound.

Mitchell Dennis: His opponent, one of the faces of the Piercing Media Network, you know his name…TRAAAAVVIIIIIISSSS PIIIEERRRCCCEEEEE!!!!!

Entrance: Pyros explode on the opening rifts of the song, and as the music softens Travis Pierce comes out from backstage and walks to the ring.

Lieberjosch: Pierce took a pounding in his last match, when he had to face Colin Zale and James Spyder in the semifinals.

Chaos: I felt bad when the bottle caps chose that matchup. I truly, truly did.

Bloodhound: I bet you did, brother.

Lieberjosch: Pierce backed into this matchup when his two opponents decided to abandon the match. I will say though, for everything that he’s been through tonight, he looks like he’s feeling great. I don’t think there is a hair out of place.

Chaos: He reminds me of the hip-hop genre of music, back up in West Virginia, Hans.

Bloodhound: Why’s that, C?

Lieberjosch: Is it because he can get down and dirty when he wants to be, but no matter what he says or does, people love him?

Chaos: Fuck no.

Lieberjosch: Then how does rap music in WV remind you of Travis Pierce?

Chaos: Simple, Hans. Hip hop in WV doesn’t sell either.

Chaos and Bloodhound clank together the two beers they have, and then take a drink.

Mitchell Dennis: And their opponent, standing 5’5”, and weighing in at 108 pounds, she hails from Osaka, Japan…..SEEIITTOOOOOOOOOOO RIIIIIIIISSSSSAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

Without warning, pyro explosions rock the entry way. A second time, the concussion causing excitement to spread like a wave through the sea of humanity. As "Light My Fire" by KOTOKO begins to play, a handsome Japanese male, in his late twenties, dressed in a grey business suit steps out through the smoke left from the pryo. Over his shoulder is a portable flag pole. From it hangs the symbol of the Land of the Rising Sun. He stops halfway down the ramp and steps to one side, holding the flag up with pride. As the smoke clears, a Japanese woman in her early twenties struts out and stops just before she reaches the man with the flag. The crowd gives a cheer, perhaps not for her, but for her outfit. A brown school girl outfit tries desperately to reach her knees and fails. White wrestling boots adorn her feet with matching knee pads. Her top comes down to her wrists and below the upper hem of the skirt. She does an extremely over the top turn, waving to the fans and blowing kisses toward them on either side. The man stands there, his eyes fixed on the flag as the girl acts more and more silly with her interaction to the crowd. After what feels like an eternity but is really only a handful of seconds, the girl turns and sprints to the ring. She slides in under the ropes and and hops agilely to her feet and quickly springs up to the second turnbuckle nearest her. Both hands go over her head in, a 'V' formed by her fore and middle fingers on both hands. She nods to the crowd, swaying to the beat of the music before dropping back to her feet and running to the next turnbuckle and repeating the gesture. She runs back to the corner where she started and looks out to the entry way where the man still stands. She calls out to him in her native language and his head turns to eye her, an eyebrow crooked curiously. He heaves a sigh and returns the flag to his shoulder and trudges toward the back. She spins round and in one swift motion pulls her top off, revealing a silver and red tight top. She turns and balls up the shirt, tossing it into the crowd. She repeats this motion with the skirt, revealing short, tight silver and red shorts. On the right thigh of the shorts is a green dragon's head. The skirt she hands over the ropes to one of the ring attendants, not without a wink, which causes him to blush a deep crimson. She turns on heel and faces her opponent, yelling out "Ohaiyo"!

Lieberjosch: I am still in shock that Seito lost her Chaos championship belt in one of the first quarterfinal matches of the day.

Chaos: It just goes to show, you’ve gotta bring it every single time that you step into that ring. You can’t just expect to half-ass it in the ring.

Bloodhound: Preach on, brother.

Chaos: Risa didn’t step up, and now she’s gotta try to win it back.

Lieberjosch: And I’m not so sure that her ribs are in the best of shape, Chaos. That FULL FRONTAL that she took from Raenius damn near turned her inside out. If they’re targeted during this match, she’s in trouble.

Chaos: It’s Clubhouse Rules, Hans. They’re ALL in trouble!

Mitchell Dennis: And their opponent…from New South Whales, Australia, she is the UGWC Chaos Champion…ERRIIIIKKAAAAAA LAAAANNNGGFFOOOORRRDDDDD!!!!!

The Presets’ ‘My People’ pumps out over the speakers to a massive ovation from the fans. Erika Langford sprints out, full of energy. She bounces in time with the music on the entranceway before stopping and raising a single fist, prompting a large burst of blue and red fireworks. She jogs her way down the ramp, interacting with as many fans as she can. Once she reaches the skirt of the ring, she again raises her fists, to a large cheer from the audience. She takes a running start and slides into the ring, leaping back to her feet as soon as she has fully entered. She bounces in time with the music again as she waits for the match to get under way.

Lieberjosch: What a travesty. A 15-year-old…the Chaos Champion. Oy vey…

Chaos: She won it fair and square, Hans. Give her some credit.

Referee Cypress Morgan looks at each competitor, and then shrugs his shoulders and steps out of the ring. Claude de Rhombus rings the bell, signifying that the match is under way.

Lieberjosch: None of these four individuals are rushing in to anything here in this match, as they are currently sizing up their competition.

Bloodhound: Doesn’t matter if they size each other up or not. All of them are going to have the holy hell beaten out of them in this match…most – if not all – will go through tables…and at the end of the night, only one will reign supreme as Chaos Champion.

Lieberjosch: And don’t forget…this match is elimination rules. AND it’s Falls Count Anywhere!

Chaos: Sounds like one hell of a good time, ehh ‘Hound?

The wrestlers have paired off against one another. Langford and Risa have engaged each other, as have Jones and Pierce. Langford has taken Risa down with a snapmare, and then kicked her in the back of the neck. She then grabs Risa by the hair and plants a knee into her back.

Bloodhound: Langford wasting no time in grounding Risa.

Lieberjosch: And Pierce is wasting no time in showing Gian Jones what he’s made of.

Pierce ducks a right hand, maneuvers behind Jones, grabs his head, and connects with a neckbreaker. Bounding off the ropes, Pierce connects with a running kick to the side of Jones’ head, and then goes for a pin attempt. Cypress Morgan yawns, as he takes a seat at ringside.

Chaos: Looks like somebody didn’t listen to the rules earlier today.

Bloodhound: Are you surprised?

Chaos: Actually, what I’m wondering about…..have you guys paid attention to the weapons that are hanging from the chains?

Bloodhound: It’s a list of usual suspects. Chairs, there’s a small ladder, a sledgehammer, some trash cans and lids…

Chaos: No, not the obvious stuff…the “other” stuff.

Lieberjosch: Now that you mention it…wait, is that…

Chaos: Why yes. Yes it is.

Bloodhound: What in the hell is someone gonna do with a 4 foot purple jelly dong, C?

Chaos: You never know, ‘Hound. You never know.

Langford has Risa tied up in a bow and arrow in the ring, while Pierce and Jones are out on the floor. Pierce attempts an Irish whip, but Jones knees him in the stomach. Jones grabs Pierce by the head and rams it into the chain wall. Pierce stumbles back…Jones grabs him…and rams his head into the wall a second time. Pierce falls to the floor, bleeding from a cut on his forehead.

Lieberjosch: And Pierce is busted open here in the early going.

Chaos: I’ve been surprised at the lack of blood flow here tonight. You’d think there’d be more.

Bloodhound: Too many pussies in the tournament, bro. Afraid of taking damage to the face.

Chaos: I bet some of them take other things to the face.

Bloodhound: I doubt it…he probably has it insured by Lloyd’s of London.

Lieberjosch: Jones looks like he isn’t messing around. With Pierce down, he’s gone to the weapons cache that’s attached to the chain.

Chaos: Come on jelly dong. Come on jelly dong!

Bloodhound: So close, Chaos. Jones picks a bat.

Chaos: Ehh, it’s shaped like a dong. It will suffice, for now.

Pierce tries to get to his feet, but Jones takes his legs out from under him with a vicious shot from the bat.

Lieberjosch: Ooley would be so proud.

Chaos: I’m sure he missed it. Probably still chasing those kids around. Unless they beat his ass by now.

Jones straddles Pierce and begins choking him with the bat. Back in the ring, Seito Risa has gained the advantage over Erika Langford with a quick succession of moves that left Langford completely off balance. Risa has Langford up, and dumps her to the mat with a brainbuster.

Lieberjosch: I hope she’s better at algebra, than she is at blocking moves.

Bloodhound: HEY! She’s 15! It’s probably Algebra II, at this point.

Risa slides out of the ring and begins looking under the ring. Reaching under, she pulls out a table, and slides in into the ring.

Chaos: Not quite sure why Risa got a table from underneath of the ring. There are numerous ones right the fuck over there.

Risa extends the legs on the table, and locks it down. Flipping it over, she places it near the corner. Shifting her attention back to Langford, she brings her to her feet. A few well-placed forearms keep Langford groggy. Risa rolls her onto the table, and then climbs to the top rope.

Lieberjosch: Risa is looking to complete step one of this match, by putting Langford through a table. You have to think once she does, the pin fall will be almost automatic.

Chaos: With no bigger than she is, you’re probably right, Hans.

Before Risa can react, Langford has jumped from the table, and ran into the ropes, knocking Risa off. Langford lifts her back up and sits her on the top turnbuckle. Langford climbs to the middle rope…springboards up into the air…grabs Risa by the head with her legs…and hurancarana’s Risa into the table. She hits with a thud, but slides off…the table still intact.

Lieberjosch: Seito Risa was attempting to take Erika Langford out, but she took too much time.

Bloodhound: Langford attempted to repay that original intent, but couldn’t generate enough force to send Risa through the table.

As the two women lay in the ring, the camera swings around to show the action on the floor. Pierce is now straddling Jones, but is positioned so that the camera can’t see what he is doing. All they hear is Jones screaming in pain.

Lieberjosch: I can’t see what Pierce is going, but Jones obviously doesn’t like it much.

Pierce stands and holds something high in the air.

Chaos: A cheese grater! That’s what I’m talking about!

Bloodhound: And Jones is a bloody fucking mess.

Chaos: I’ll give it to Pierce…I like seeing this side of him. I still hate the bastard, and we’re still gonna take those tag team titles eventually, but I’ll give him credit. I didn’t think he had the nuts to lower himself, to excel in this type of bloodlust.

Pierce and Jones are both a bloody mess, as Pierce drags Jones to his feet. Spinning him around, Pierce grabs Jones in an inverted DDT position, and then plants him into the steel ring steps. As Jones rolls off, Pierce lifts the top portion of the ring steps, and then slams them down onto Jones’ head.

Chaos: Someone is gonna have a headache in the morning.

Bloodhound: He’ll probably need some Excedrin Migraine.

Chaos: That would have been a good sponsor.

Bloodhound: Their commercials suck, though.

Chaos: Valid point, ‘Hound.

Langford has knocked Risa out of the ring. As Risa gets to her feet, Langford takes off running…soaring through the ropes…and knocking Risa into the ring barrier. Paying only half-attention, she reaches over to grab a weapon. Yanking it from its shackles, she attempts to pummel Risa with it, but stops once she sees what it is.

Chaos: Langford grabbed the dong. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!

Bloodhound: I’m sure that’s illegal here in the States.

Chaos: She really looked like she wanted to pound her, too. It’s a shame.

Langford flings the monster dong out into the crowd, and begins beating on Risa with her fists.

Lieberjosch: And it looks like one lucky lady is going home with a souvenir from WRESTLESTOCK.

Chaos: I think I know her. She’ll definitely put it to good use.

Langford reaches back over and chooses another weapon. Risa screams in pain.

Lieberjosch: I think Erika Langford just picked out the “Bedazzler” to use on Risa.

Chaos: She’s from Japan. They’re used to that kinky shit over there.

Langford grabs Risa, stands her up, and rolls her back into the ring. She follows suit, and eyes the table that still stands in the ring. Maneuvering her over to said table, Langford picks Risa up and slams her down. The table splinters from the impact, as Cypress slides into the ring. Langford makes the cover, and Cypress begins the count: 1…..2…..3!!!!!

Lieberjosch: Erika Langford has just eliminated the former Chaos Champion, Seito Risa!

Bloodhound: And Risa’s quest to win back the belt that she lost earlier tonight falls short.

Chaos: It’s gonna be a long flight back to Hong Kong for Risa.

Bloodhound: She’s from Osaka, Chaos.

Chaos: Same thing.

Lieberjosch: We’re now down to three. Jones and Pierce are going at it on the floor, while Langford rests inside the ring.

Chaos: Best thing to do. Rest up as much as possible, and let the other two beat the shit out of each other. She’s fairly intelligent for a kid.

Jones is bleeding profusely, as Pierce keeps the pressure on. Pierce hits a snap suplex on the ramp, and then drops a knee across Jones’ face. He drags one of the tables over that have been set up at ringside. Lifting Jones to his feet, he rolls him onto the table. Pierce hops up onto the ring apron, but just before he jumps off, Erika Langford hits him with a superkick to the back of his head. He falls to the floor, not moving. Langford springs off the top rope for a 450 splash. Gian Jones moves at the last second, and Erika Langford crashes through the table.

Lieberjosch: Travis Pierce was looking to send Jones through the table, but Erika Langford put a stop to that.

Bloodhound: True, but she also failed to put him through the table, as she herself went through.

Lieberjosch: What does that mean for the match, though? Chaos, your rules stated that each person had to be put through a table. She went through on her own. Does that count?

Chaos: Meh, I don’t fucking care. It’s up to Big Cyp.

Having counted the pin on Seito Risa a few moments ago, Cypress Morgan wipes his forehead with his sleeve, and exhales as if he’s tired.

Lieberjosch: It looks like Cypress is working extremely hard keeping things straight in this matchup.

Chaos: God dammit…and I’m out of beer! Nooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jezebel Saint comes running from the back, with a Hardees bag in hand. Sliding into the ring, she walks over to Cypress, giving him a kiss on the lips, and then wiping his forehead. She hands him the bag, which he accepts with a smile on his face. Opening it up, he pulls out a sandwich, an order of fries, and a toy. He gives Jez another kiss, and then turns and exits the ring in a sultry manner. She makes her way over, and takes a seat beside of Bloodhound.

Chaos: Thanks for joining us, Jez. I was beginning to wonder where you were.

Jez: I just wanted to help Cypress get through the match, by reminding him of what my goods taste like.

Bloodhound: And the toy?

Jez: I couldn’t catch that broad. She was out of here with the quickness.

Bloodhound: No…not THAT toy! The toy from the meal!

Jez: Oh! Well that’s a Jezebel Saint Action figure, complete with movable parts.

Cypress has hopped out of the ring, and made his way over to the fans. He hands the Jezebel Saint Action-figure to a child no more than 7, who smiles from ear to ear.

Chaos: Just like Cypress. Always the giver. The man truly is a Saint.

Cypress walks over to Chaos and speaks.

Cypress: Little bitch went through the table. Just like what will happen by the time she’s 16, she’s now allowed to be put on her back and pinned down.

Lieberjosch: And there you have it, folks! Cypress Morgan just verified that, even though Erika Langford basically put herself through the table, she is now eligible to be pinned in this matchup.

Chaos: Fortunately for her, the other two dipshits in the match don’t seem to be in a position to benefit.

Jones finally gets to his feet, and yanks Langford up by her hair. Lifting her high, he turns and drives her into the ramp.

Lieberjosch: Shades of Arn Anderson, folks.

Bloodhound: I would have said Bobby Roode.

Chaos: Jesus Christ, ‘Hound…nobody watches that shit.

Jones with the cover, but Cypress is still eating his sandwich. Frustrated, Jones gets in Cypress’ face.

Lieberjosch: Gian Jones would be better served focusing on his opponents, rather than to waste time trying to pick a fight with a man that HASN’T already been through two matches tonight.

Jones focuses his attention back to Langford, as Cypress leans over and whispers something to Chaos. Chaos flings his head set off to the side, and pounds on the table.

Bloodhound: Uhh, bro? The fuck are you doing?

Chaos pays Bloodhound no attention, as he takes off running towards the crowd barrier. Grabbing the top of the barrier, he begins shaking it as hard as he can. He then runs back over to the table, and extends his arm out. Cypress slaps it, and Chaos celebrates like he just won the World Title.

Lieberjosch: I…I don’t know what’s going on here. Has Chaos lost his mind?

Cypress takes a seat where Chaos had been sitting, and puts on the headset.

Cypress: No worries, Lieberdouche, officiating this match up was kinda tiring. So I just tagged in my partner.

Lieberjosch: Is…is that even allowed?

Cypress: DMW is running this shit tonight. What do you think?

Chaos takes off running and connects with a big boot to Travis Pierce. As Erika Langford begins griping to Chaos about what he is doing, he kicks her in the stomach, and then hits the Flatliner on the steel ramp.

Cypress (yelling): CHAOS! BRO! You’re REFFING the match! Not FIGHTING in it!

Chaos stops, as Cypress’ words resonate in his mind. He then takes a look around at the carnage, and shrugs his shoulders. Walking over, he grabs two beers from the cooler that someone apparently brought down to him…tossing one to Cypress. They both crack their beers, and then “cheers” one another. While this is going on, Travis Pierce has crawled over and laid his arm across Erika Langford.

Lieberjosch: Travis Pierce has a pin attempt on Erika Langford, but the official…or, the two officials…are busy drinking. This entire day has been the damndest thing I’ve seen in all my years in this business.

Bloodhound: Day One been “chaotic” enough for ya, Hans?

Lieberjosch: It has been extremely memorable, that is for certain.

As they finish their beers, Cypress and Chaos begin conferring over which one will finish the match. It seems that neither one of them want the job. Jezebel Saint walks over, and begins making the decision for them.

Lieberjosch: Is she performing the “eenie-meenie-miney-mo” routine, in an attempt to determine who referees this match?

Bloodhound: Do you know a better way to make the decision?

Before Hans can answer, the decision is made. Cypress solemnly “tags” back in, and makes his way over to Pierce and Langford. Slowly, he drops down and makes the count: 1……….2…………………………3!!!

Lieberjosch: Erika Langford has been eliminated from the match, which means that a NEW Chaos Champion will be crowned by the time things are finished here tonight!

Bloodhound: We’re down to Pierce and Jones. Two guys that know each other extremely well.

Chaos: Thank Christ I won that decision battle. If I would have had to continue being the special guest ref, I might have beaten myself in the face.

Pierce gets to his feet, grabbing a chair before he turns around, where Jones is waiting for him. Pierce swings the steel chair, but Jones ducks, and then connects with a straight punch, sending the steel chair crashing into the face of Travis Pierce. Jones picks Pierce back up and rams his back into the ring apron. Jones backs up a few steps, and then takes off running. Pierce moves, and Jones is sent crashing into the ring apron shoulder-first.

Lieberjosch: Jones was looking good, but he made a huge mistake there.

Pierce picks Jones up and drags him over towards the crowd. He grabs a table and closes the legs of it, resting it on the barrier. Pushing Jones back to where he is leaning on the table, Pierce slides into the ring…bounds off the opposite ropes…jumps through the ropes…and spears Jones through the table. The crowd goes insane at the carnage.

Lieberjosch: Jones has just gone through a table, and this match is Pierce’s to win! Travis Pierce is going to be the NEW UGWC Chaos Champion!

Pierce slowly makes the cover, as Cypress drops to make the count: 1……….2………………..

Lieberjosch: Cypress just stopped the count, and has stood up. And he’s just glaring at Travis Pierce.

Pierce stands and begins jawing at Cypress. Without a word in response, Cypress hauls off and punches Pierce in the chest.

Chaos: Ahh, THE NAIL. I enjoy watching him crumble fools with that. It brings joy to my life.

Lieberjosch: It doesn’t look like our special guest referee is done yet, either.

Cypress lifts Pierce onto his shoulders…DEVILS DUE! Cypress then grabs Pierce and tosses him onto the ring apron.

Bloodhound: Now that looked like it hurt.

Chaos: Better him than me, bro.

Bloodhound: You said it, C.

Cypress reaches under the ring and pulls out two tables. Setting them up, he stands one on top of the other. Walking over, he shakes Jones.

Lieberjosch: Gian Jones has lost a lot of blood in this match. He’s got next to nothing left.

Jones stumbles over to the ring apron, where he almost loses his footing. Climbing up, he bends down and drags Pierce to his feet. Summoning all of his strength, he grabs a hold of Pierce, and jumps.

Lieberjosch: THE LYNCHING THROUGH TWO TABLES! THE LYNCHING THROUGH TWO TABLES!!

Chaos: This one has gotta be over!

Jones drapes an arm over Pierce, and Cypress makes the count: 1…..2…..3!!!!!

Lieberjosch: Gian Jones just won the belt!

Mitchell Dennis: Ladies and Gentlemen…the winner of this match…and NEW UGWC CHAOS CHAMPION……….GIIIIAAAAANNNNNNNN JOOOOOOOOONNNEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!

Cypress helps Jones get to his feet, and raises his hand in the air. Apprehensively, Jones keeps an eye on Cypress Morgan, who slowly backs away, and exits the ring.

Lieberjosch: This has been one HELL of a night, folks, and we aren’t quite done yet. But what is this?

Numerous scantily-clad young women come walking towards the ring. They step under the middle rope, and then begin dancing around Gian Jones.

Lieberjosch: What is going on? Who are they?

Chaos: They’re what we in the DMW like to call “tail-biters”, Hans. They’re…a “gift”, from the Devil’s Most Wanted, to the new Chaos Champion.

Cypress and Jez begin walking towards the back, as Cypress is explaining who the ladies are to Jones. Chaos and Lucky follow suit, as it begins raining panties from the crowd, into the ring.

Lieberjosch: Ladies and Gentlemen, that’s it for Day One of WRESTLESTOCK! We’ll see you tomorrow for Day Two: The Cross-Hemisphere Championship Day! We close with a real treat here tonight. Give it up…for BLACK…..LABEL…..SOCIETY!!!!!

(Fire It Up)

As BLS ends the night, and the crowd is going absolutely WILD, all of the lights suddenly go dark. A lone spotlight shines at the top of the ramp. Numerous stagehands are shown wheeling out a large object, which is covered with a sheet. They place the object at the top of the stage, and one yanks the sheet off. It is a huge statue, and it is sporting a t-shirt. As the camera zooms in, the writing on the shirt can be read:

“HE CAN’T HELP IT HE’S PRETTY”

The Global-Tron comes to life, showing the face of a man. It is the same face that resides on the platinum statue that stands at the top of the stage. The man smiles a sultry, seductive smile. He then says three simple words:

“Ya miss me?”

WRESTLESTOCK 2013 – DAY ONE comes to an end.

[DrunkenBuzzsaw]

The vote result for Day One is as follows.

Gian 28
Pierce 24
Erika 13
Colin 3
Spyder 1
Seito 0

[Eden Morgan]

Holy. Epic. Fucking. Shit. Batman.

1st off- Jones won?!?! I'm like... Shocked. And almost speechless.
2- Chaos day lived up to its name and I'd say you set the bar high as hell. Amazing job, Chad. Loved the DMW spin on things.
3- VAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'll post more later when I'm not reeling lol

[Zane]

Well done Chad.

How in the hell did Colin and Spyder get votes ? I didn't even write anything for them. Lol.

[Jet Somers]

My god. What were you worried about?? THis was, without a doubt, one of the best days of WS I've seen so far. Well fucking done, dude.

Also... Gian!!! Gian is the champ!!!

I did not see that coming... not for a second.

And... interesting how the DMW has kind of accepted him. Very interesting.

[Jet Somers]

Oh, and everyone TOOK YO PANTIES OFF!!!

[Eden Morgan]

Jul 18, 2013 1:37:15 GMT -5 Jet Somers said:

Oh, and everyone TOOK YO PANTIES OFF!!!

I have that song stuck in my head now.

[DrunkenBuzzsaw]

This show took everything I had...and Im still not 100% happy with a few things, but I hope it is something that everyone enjoys.

Special thanks go to Ad for supplying the PPW guys (and moves for them)...and to Brit, Danny, and B for the segs and seg ideas. B, I know I didnt go exactly with what you wanted...but I hope what I did at least got a chuckle out of ya.

Thank God for breaks though...my brain is mush.

[Jet Somers]

It works lol