Post by T-Robosaurus Rex on Aug 9, 2009 18:59:41 GMT -5
Vinegar: Welcome, welcome everyone! GIW Sentinel is on the air!
Hanson: Yep.
Vinegar: After the shocks and twists and turns of last week, we present another solid set of matches to pave the way to Battlegrounds!
Hanson: Yep.
Vinegar: Are you okay, Dan?
Hanson: I’m still reeling from Monday.
Vinegar: Monday?
Hanson: Raw was soooo bad, it made me hate this business.
Vinegar: Well, I promise you, we will not be turning Sentinel into a two-hour commercial. In fact, Mitchell Dennis is ready to bring us our first match of the evening.
Hanson: Alright, come on Dan, there’s a new person on top, gotta dress to impress.
Vinegar: You’re an odd duck.
Mitchell: The following is a Battlegrounds qualifier, scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Houston Texas, weighing in at 235 pounds, The Fierce Warrior, ROBEEERT MONTAAAANAAAA!
“Amazing” by Kanye West blares as the lights start to dim, Robert Montana walks confidently out onto the ramp and slaps his chest.
Vinegar: This young man made quite the debut last week in tag team action.
Hanson: As part of the losing team. Very impressive.
Vinegar: He might not have pulled off the upset, but he held his own against two former World champions, and it was enough to earn him this qualifying match.
Hanson: I hear this guy talks to ghosts. Or maybe he just happens to be touched by an angel. Old people watched that show, right Nick?
Mitchell: And his opponent, representing the Covenant, weighing in at 120 pounds, this is the Dark Rose, CHASSIIIIIIIIE FEEEEEEAR!
“Cyanide Sweet Tooth Suicide” and strobe lights, Chassie Fear steps out into the entryway and runs down the ramp.
Vinegar: Chassie was a part of a major brawl last week that saw Dirge moving on to the Battlegrounds match, but tonight both she and Raenius have a second chance to get into the event. Think of what that could mean for the other competitors next month, having three members of the Covenant to deal with.
Hanson: I’m putting my money right now on Lord Hastings dominating, doesn’t matter if there’s all 20 members of the Covenant in the ring. Not that I would ever condone the horrible vice of gambling.
Vinegar: Both competitors in the ring, a bit of staredown, both want to let their opponent know that they won’t be intimidated.
Hanson: I’ll bet this match starts with a lock up. Again, not that I frequent bookies.
Vinegar: The bell rings, and we have a collar and elbow to start what should be a very competitive match.
Hanson: Montana probably enjoys having the height advantage this week.
Vinegar: He certainly is taking the early advantage in this bout, throwing Chassie into a headlock right off the bat.
Hanson: Did you know that the headlock is more effective against heavier opponents? You take them off their center of balance and force them to deal with gravity. As a woman, Chassie Fear defies gravity everyday.
Vinegar: The Dark Rose pushing Montana into the ropes.
Hanson: I’m talking about boobs.
Vinegar: I know. Montana goes for the lariat on the rebound, but Fear ducks. Low dropkick brings him to his knees. Chassie hits the ropes hard.
Hanson: It’s a bit early in the match for a Shiiiiiining Wiiizaaaaard spot, don’t you think?
Vinegar: I think she agrees with you Dan, because the Dark Rose nails Robert with a diving clothesline! Pin attempt, only a one.
Hanson: An early cover is a psychological move, Nick, it’s telling your opponent you don’t think they can last. And as a member of the Covenant, Chassie is all about mind games.
Vinegar: Now Fear is quick to lock up Montana in an armbar. Another hallmark of the Covenant is brutality, and those sharp kicks to The Fierce Warrior’s ribs certainly fit the bill.
Hanson: Chassie using some nice footwork to keep Robert guessing, landing each kick in a different spot. Think she used to be a dancer?
Vinegar: I doubt she found the time, Dan. But Montana found her foot, he catches that kick! And now we’re at a standstill, Fear has Robert’s arm, Montana has Chassie’s leg.
Hanson: There’s only a few ways this could go down, Nick. Let’s see if everyone playing at home can guess what happens next. A) They let each other go and we have another lock up. B) Montana summons superhuman strength and flips Chassie into the air. C) Boot to the head.
Vinegar: Enziguri!
Hanson: I admit, B would have been pretty impressive.
Vinegar: The Dark Rose is going up to the top rope while Montana struggles back to his feet. Fear is flying…And Montana catches her with a midair dropkick! Did THAT impress you?
Hanson: Meh, I’ve seen it before.
Vinegar: Well, the crowd didn’t mind it. Now Montana is quick to go for the pin, only a two count.
Hanson: Oh, now this is despicable, he’s going to use a piledriver, an ILLEGAL piledriver, on that sweet single mother.
Vinegar: Two flaws with your argument, first Chassie would never ask to not have a move used on her just because she was a female, and two, Montana just drilled her with a sitdown power bomb! 1 2, Chassie slams her legs back together and forces The Fierce Warrior to the mat in a leg vice headlock! Robert trying to regain his footing but she is in full control right now, applying the pressure.
Hanson: I don’t know about the pressure, but right now Robert is making some MILF hunters very jealous.
Vinegar: Montana trying to get back to his feet again, Fear flips him over back to the mat. This is definitely a tactic you don’t see everyday, Dan.
Hanson: Hey, if it’s effective, use it. That’s how Travis Roberts stays on top week in and week out. And if it’s good enough for the Unified Champion, it’s good enough for Chassie Fear.
Vinegar: Montana again maneuvering himself, using his own strength and quickness. He puts his hands on Chassie’s shoulders! That’s a pin! 1 2, Chassie has to let him go and roll out. Good thinking from The Fierce Warrior there, rubbing his neck as both competitors get back to their feet. Locking up in the middle of the ring, Robert lifts a sharp knee to the stomach of Chassie Fear. She reaches for him, he dodges and knees her again!
Hanson: Now, I’ve heard a rumor that someone in the Covenant might be expecting a baby. What if he just Snitskied her?
Vinegar: A third knee lift, this time to the face. Whatever you may think of the Covenant as a group, we can all agree that Chassie Fear is a loving and caring mother, you know she wouldn’t put a child in danger, even with the potential for a title shot on the line.
Hanson: Speaking of which, did you see the tag title match we’ll be treated to at Battlegrounds?
Vinegar: I don’t know if I would use the word ‘treated,’ but yes I did. And we’ll see a preview of that match later tonight when Brandon Brown and Andy Savana meet for the first time! Meanwhile, back in this match, Robert Montana is signaling for The Big Jump, but seems to be rethinking his plan.
Hanson: Well, last week he got a knee to the gut for all his trouble.
Vinegar: Good point, Dan. Robert decides to make sure it doesn’t happen again, and picks up Chassie for more punishment first. He runs her to the corner and slams her head into the post. Now unleashing on her face and torso, taking the dukes to her, those are some hard lefts and rights.
Hanson: I’m starting to think that Montana is having woman troubles at home.
Vinegar: He better not have a problem with that woman, Hazel East is telling him to back off and giving him the count. Montana regains his senses and lets up at 3. Chassie Fear slumps down in a heap.
Hanson: These women nowadays, Nick. With their midriffs and, and, booty shorts, and voting. Not baking cookies anymore. When’s the last time your wife baked you cookies, Nick?
Vinegar: Wednesday.
Hanson: You’re a lucky man, Nick. Most girls don’t learn to bake anymore, I assume. Not like their grandmas. Their dear, sweet, paycheck-controlling grandmothers.
Vinegar: Montana tries to pull Chassie out of the corner, she kicks him away. Montana snapping again, laying into Fear with his boot, an old-fashioned mudhole-stomping. Again, Hazel East has to pull him away. Montana now seems to be clapping?
Hanson: Oh, I know what’s coming next. I haven’t seen it since Samoa Joe was just chunky, instead of now when he’s fat and wearing Zoobas. The crowd knows too.
Crowd: O LE! O le, o le, o le!
Vinegar: Montana charging at the corner.
Crowd: O le, Ooooo le!
Hanson: Face wash! Montana’s foot nearly went through her head!
Vinegar: Hazel is telling Robert that he’s on his last warning, he shrugs her off and pulls Chassie out of the corner by her hair, scoops her up on his shoulders, looks like he’s going for The END, a death valley driver-style maneuver. He gives her a toss, SHE LANDS ON HER FEET!
Hanson: I’m not really sure how she can still stand after that beat down in the corner, but then again, if a woman can go through childbirth, she can go through anything. It’s a real inspiration, Nick.
Vinegar: Will you stop? Montana can’t believe it either, and she takes advantage of his shock to hit The Codebreaker! Both wrestlers are collapsed on the mat, Chassie trying to summon the strength to make the pin, she throws an arm across!
1
2
NO!
Vinegar: Montana gets the shoulder up and they both struggle to an upright position. Montana takes a swing, it’s ducked, and countered into a Dragon Suplex! Can the Dark Rose hold on?
1
2
Montana breaks out!
Vinegar: Chassie tries to follow up, Montana grabs her and tosses her under the top rope and down to the floor!
Hanson: Just like a Mexican, right?
Vinegar: Just because Grandma Levene is old doesn’t automatically make her racist, Dan!
Hanson: Still….Mexicans, huh?
1
Vinegar: Montana with a springboard plancha onto Chassie on the floor!
2
3
Vinegar: Now an irish whip into the barricade, reversed!
4
Vinegar: Chassie Fear on the move, flying clothesline! Both competitors spill into the front row!
5
Vinegar: The Dark Rose bangs Montana’s head against the barricade for good measure then makes her way back towards the ring.
6
Vinegar: Chassie Fear climbing back onto the apron.
7
Vinegar: Montana climbing onto the barricade, what’s he thinking?
8
Vinegar: Robert Montana leaps from the barricade and delivers a dropkick to the legs of Chassie Fear! The Dark Rose falls and smacks her head against the apron!
Hanson: Alright, that was something I might not have seen before.
9
Vinegar: Montana rolls Chassie back into the ring. There’s a cover, Robert Montana could be going to Battlegrounds!
1
2
NO!
Vinegar: I can’t believe it! The Dark Rose kicks out!
Hanson: You can’t believe it? I can’t believe it! Montana definitely can’t believe it! We all saw how hard Chassie’s head hit that apron, she would just be lucky not to have a broken neck!
Vinegar: Montana tossing her into the corner again, he’s setting her up top, going for a superplex!
Hanson: Even if you have a five star match, adding a superplex automatically earns you a whole extra star.
Vinegar: He has her in position, if he hits this it will be over for sure.
Hanson: Wait a sec, she’s grabbing onto the top rope! Damn, that’s crafty. She has the wisdom of a much much older woman.
Vinegar: Montana doesn’t notice, he’s going for the Superplex, but is thrown off balance! Chassie pushes him to the mat, AND SHE DOES NOT WASTE A SINGLE SECOND! FEARLESS!
1
2
3!
Dennis: Here is your winner, CHASSIIIIIIIIE FEEEEEAAAR!
Vinegar: The crowd on their feet after that, a great display from both competitors, but ultimately it was The Dark Rose who will be moving on to Battlegrounds.
Hanson: Now Gettysburg, there was a Battleground. So many brave men lost, brothers…sons….husbands…
Vinegar: Christ, she’s not THAT old!
Hanson: Yep.
Vinegar: After the shocks and twists and turns of last week, we present another solid set of matches to pave the way to Battlegrounds!
Hanson: Yep.
Vinegar: Are you okay, Dan?
Hanson: I’m still reeling from Monday.
Vinegar: Monday?
Hanson: Raw was soooo bad, it made me hate this business.
Vinegar: Well, I promise you, we will not be turning Sentinel into a two-hour commercial. In fact, Mitchell Dennis is ready to bring us our first match of the evening.
Hanson: Alright, come on Dan, there’s a new person on top, gotta dress to impress.
Vinegar: You’re an odd duck.
Mitchell: The following is a Battlegrounds qualifier, scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Houston Texas, weighing in at 235 pounds, The Fierce Warrior, ROBEEERT MONTAAAANAAAA!
“Amazing” by Kanye West blares as the lights start to dim, Robert Montana walks confidently out onto the ramp and slaps his chest.
Vinegar: This young man made quite the debut last week in tag team action.
Hanson: As part of the losing team. Very impressive.
Vinegar: He might not have pulled off the upset, but he held his own against two former World champions, and it was enough to earn him this qualifying match.
Hanson: I hear this guy talks to ghosts. Or maybe he just happens to be touched by an angel. Old people watched that show, right Nick?
Mitchell: And his opponent, representing the Covenant, weighing in at 120 pounds, this is the Dark Rose, CHASSIIIIIIIIE FEEEEEEAR!
“Cyanide Sweet Tooth Suicide” and strobe lights, Chassie Fear steps out into the entryway and runs down the ramp.
Vinegar: Chassie was a part of a major brawl last week that saw Dirge moving on to the Battlegrounds match, but tonight both she and Raenius have a second chance to get into the event. Think of what that could mean for the other competitors next month, having three members of the Covenant to deal with.
Hanson: I’m putting my money right now on Lord Hastings dominating, doesn’t matter if there’s all 20 members of the Covenant in the ring. Not that I would ever condone the horrible vice of gambling.
Vinegar: Both competitors in the ring, a bit of staredown, both want to let their opponent know that they won’t be intimidated.
Hanson: I’ll bet this match starts with a lock up. Again, not that I frequent bookies.
Vinegar: The bell rings, and we have a collar and elbow to start what should be a very competitive match.
Hanson: Montana probably enjoys having the height advantage this week.
Vinegar: He certainly is taking the early advantage in this bout, throwing Chassie into a headlock right off the bat.
Hanson: Did you know that the headlock is more effective against heavier opponents? You take them off their center of balance and force them to deal with gravity. As a woman, Chassie Fear defies gravity everyday.
Vinegar: The Dark Rose pushing Montana into the ropes.
Hanson: I’m talking about boobs.
Vinegar: I know. Montana goes for the lariat on the rebound, but Fear ducks. Low dropkick brings him to his knees. Chassie hits the ropes hard.
Hanson: It’s a bit early in the match for a Shiiiiiining Wiiizaaaaard spot, don’t you think?
Vinegar: I think she agrees with you Dan, because the Dark Rose nails Robert with a diving clothesline! Pin attempt, only a one.
Hanson: An early cover is a psychological move, Nick, it’s telling your opponent you don’t think they can last. And as a member of the Covenant, Chassie is all about mind games.
Vinegar: Now Fear is quick to lock up Montana in an armbar. Another hallmark of the Covenant is brutality, and those sharp kicks to The Fierce Warrior’s ribs certainly fit the bill.
Hanson: Chassie using some nice footwork to keep Robert guessing, landing each kick in a different spot. Think she used to be a dancer?
Vinegar: I doubt she found the time, Dan. But Montana found her foot, he catches that kick! And now we’re at a standstill, Fear has Robert’s arm, Montana has Chassie’s leg.
Hanson: There’s only a few ways this could go down, Nick. Let’s see if everyone playing at home can guess what happens next. A) They let each other go and we have another lock up. B) Montana summons superhuman strength and flips Chassie into the air. C) Boot to the head.
Vinegar: Enziguri!
Hanson: I admit, B would have been pretty impressive.
Vinegar: The Dark Rose is going up to the top rope while Montana struggles back to his feet. Fear is flying…And Montana catches her with a midair dropkick! Did THAT impress you?
Hanson: Meh, I’ve seen it before.
Vinegar: Well, the crowd didn’t mind it. Now Montana is quick to go for the pin, only a two count.
Hanson: Oh, now this is despicable, he’s going to use a piledriver, an ILLEGAL piledriver, on that sweet single mother.
Vinegar: Two flaws with your argument, first Chassie would never ask to not have a move used on her just because she was a female, and two, Montana just drilled her with a sitdown power bomb! 1 2, Chassie slams her legs back together and forces The Fierce Warrior to the mat in a leg vice headlock! Robert trying to regain his footing but she is in full control right now, applying the pressure.
Hanson: I don’t know about the pressure, but right now Robert is making some MILF hunters very jealous.
Vinegar: Montana trying to get back to his feet again, Fear flips him over back to the mat. This is definitely a tactic you don’t see everyday, Dan.
Hanson: Hey, if it’s effective, use it. That’s how Travis Roberts stays on top week in and week out. And if it’s good enough for the Unified Champion, it’s good enough for Chassie Fear.
Vinegar: Montana again maneuvering himself, using his own strength and quickness. He puts his hands on Chassie’s shoulders! That’s a pin! 1 2, Chassie has to let him go and roll out. Good thinking from The Fierce Warrior there, rubbing his neck as both competitors get back to their feet. Locking up in the middle of the ring, Robert lifts a sharp knee to the stomach of Chassie Fear. She reaches for him, he dodges and knees her again!
Hanson: Now, I’ve heard a rumor that someone in the Covenant might be expecting a baby. What if he just Snitskied her?
Vinegar: A third knee lift, this time to the face. Whatever you may think of the Covenant as a group, we can all agree that Chassie Fear is a loving and caring mother, you know she wouldn’t put a child in danger, even with the potential for a title shot on the line.
Hanson: Speaking of which, did you see the tag title match we’ll be treated to at Battlegrounds?
Vinegar: I don’t know if I would use the word ‘treated,’ but yes I did. And we’ll see a preview of that match later tonight when Brandon Brown and Andy Savana meet for the first time! Meanwhile, back in this match, Robert Montana is signaling for The Big Jump, but seems to be rethinking his plan.
Hanson: Well, last week he got a knee to the gut for all his trouble.
Vinegar: Good point, Dan. Robert decides to make sure it doesn’t happen again, and picks up Chassie for more punishment first. He runs her to the corner and slams her head into the post. Now unleashing on her face and torso, taking the dukes to her, those are some hard lefts and rights.
Hanson: I’m starting to think that Montana is having woman troubles at home.
Vinegar: He better not have a problem with that woman, Hazel East is telling him to back off and giving him the count. Montana regains his senses and lets up at 3. Chassie Fear slumps down in a heap.
Hanson: These women nowadays, Nick. With their midriffs and, and, booty shorts, and voting. Not baking cookies anymore. When’s the last time your wife baked you cookies, Nick?
Vinegar: Wednesday.
Hanson: You’re a lucky man, Nick. Most girls don’t learn to bake anymore, I assume. Not like their grandmas. Their dear, sweet, paycheck-controlling grandmothers.
Vinegar: Montana tries to pull Chassie out of the corner, she kicks him away. Montana snapping again, laying into Fear with his boot, an old-fashioned mudhole-stomping. Again, Hazel East has to pull him away. Montana now seems to be clapping?
Hanson: Oh, I know what’s coming next. I haven’t seen it since Samoa Joe was just chunky, instead of now when he’s fat and wearing Zoobas. The crowd knows too.
Crowd: O LE! O le, o le, o le!
Vinegar: Montana charging at the corner.
Crowd: O le, Ooooo le!
Hanson: Face wash! Montana’s foot nearly went through her head!
Vinegar: Hazel is telling Robert that he’s on his last warning, he shrugs her off and pulls Chassie out of the corner by her hair, scoops her up on his shoulders, looks like he’s going for The END, a death valley driver-style maneuver. He gives her a toss, SHE LANDS ON HER FEET!
Hanson: I’m not really sure how she can still stand after that beat down in the corner, but then again, if a woman can go through childbirth, she can go through anything. It’s a real inspiration, Nick.
Vinegar: Will you stop? Montana can’t believe it either, and she takes advantage of his shock to hit The Codebreaker! Both wrestlers are collapsed on the mat, Chassie trying to summon the strength to make the pin, she throws an arm across!
1
2
NO!
Vinegar: Montana gets the shoulder up and they both struggle to an upright position. Montana takes a swing, it’s ducked, and countered into a Dragon Suplex! Can the Dark Rose hold on?
1
2
Montana breaks out!
Vinegar: Chassie tries to follow up, Montana grabs her and tosses her under the top rope and down to the floor!
Hanson: Just like a Mexican, right?
Vinegar: Just because Grandma Levene is old doesn’t automatically make her racist, Dan!
Hanson: Still….Mexicans, huh?
1
Vinegar: Montana with a springboard plancha onto Chassie on the floor!
2
3
Vinegar: Now an irish whip into the barricade, reversed!
4
Vinegar: Chassie Fear on the move, flying clothesline! Both competitors spill into the front row!
5
Vinegar: The Dark Rose bangs Montana’s head against the barricade for good measure then makes her way back towards the ring.
6
Vinegar: Chassie Fear climbing back onto the apron.
7
Vinegar: Montana climbing onto the barricade, what’s he thinking?
8
Vinegar: Robert Montana leaps from the barricade and delivers a dropkick to the legs of Chassie Fear! The Dark Rose falls and smacks her head against the apron!
Hanson: Alright, that was something I might not have seen before.
9
Vinegar: Montana rolls Chassie back into the ring. There’s a cover, Robert Montana could be going to Battlegrounds!
1
2
NO!
Vinegar: I can’t believe it! The Dark Rose kicks out!
Hanson: You can’t believe it? I can’t believe it! Montana definitely can’t believe it! We all saw how hard Chassie’s head hit that apron, she would just be lucky not to have a broken neck!
Vinegar: Montana tossing her into the corner again, he’s setting her up top, going for a superplex!
Hanson: Even if you have a five star match, adding a superplex automatically earns you a whole extra star.
Vinegar: He has her in position, if he hits this it will be over for sure.
Hanson: Wait a sec, she’s grabbing onto the top rope! Damn, that’s crafty. She has the wisdom of a much much older woman.
Vinegar: Montana doesn’t notice, he’s going for the Superplex, but is thrown off balance! Chassie pushes him to the mat, AND SHE DOES NOT WASTE A SINGLE SECOND! FEARLESS!
1
2
3!
Dennis: Here is your winner, CHASSIIIIIIIIE FEEEEEAAAR!
Vinegar: The crowd on their feet after that, a great display from both competitors, but ultimately it was The Dark Rose who will be moving on to Battlegrounds.
Hanson: Now Gettysburg, there was a Battleground. So many brave men lost, brothers…sons….husbands…
Vinegar: Christ, she’s not THAT old!
