Last angrophobia therapy session for Konrad before Horizons.

["Burned in Blood" Konrad Raab]

OOC: Since I can't do CD pieces on my RP, I'm putting first of the second (Second to come on Monday as it will be a backstage scene of the day of the match itself) of changes to Konrad in this upcoming title match. Enjoy.

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Last angrophobia therapy session for Konrad before Horizons PPV. Chicago, Illinois. Friday, 4th December.

As Konrad sits in the waiting room, still shaking as he usually does, maybe more than ever after the attack he done on Conners last week and that he fears his own anger. Konrad shook his head, hoping he wouldn't attack Conners again, despite him helping Konrad explode last week, it's something Konrad still refuses to do. He covers his head with his arms, continuing to shake his head, even if he's the last person to be seen as usual. As he's doing that, Conners comes in the waiting room, tapping Konrad's shoulder. He notices Konrad shaking his head after what he did last week as Conners says this.

Doctor Conners: "Seems like you still regret what you did last week."

Konrad removes his arms from his head and looks up at Conners and responds to the question.

Konrad Raab: "I do, a lot."

Doctor Conners: "Well, that's what we'll talk about, amongst other things we need to discuss. Come on, let's go in my office."

Konrad nodded, still struggling to forgive himself on the anger he exploited on Conners, and it's a hard habit for Konrad to crack it seems. As Konrad came to sit down, feeling very uncomfortable, placing his head down, he says this straight off the bat.

Konrad Raab: "I have a problem of feeling as if anger is normal along with forgiving myself for attacking you as viciously as I did. Feel like a horrible human being."

Doctor Conners: "OK, the feelings you have, it still feels to me your afraid of your anger, but when you attacked me, I saw a massive smile on your face, feeling relieved you let your emotions out. "

Konrad Raab: "I don't think it was helpful."

Doctor Conners: "Well, it was to see you happy finally. I can see your fear to forgive yourself after you've been angry. That's because you have never allowed yourself to feel it. I also think you want to be perfect all the time. In the long run, nobody is perfect and it will make you depressed. It would help if you did not feel guilty or forgiving yourself for the anger you'd exploit on opponents. Say things like your innocent, and you love yourself."

Conners wrote down Konrad's reaction about what had happened last week and for him to learn to forgive himself when he gets angry that he shouldn't feel bad about it. He writes down also on Konrad's responses and body language currently in the room. Conners clears his throat as Konrad turns away, shaking his head with shame. Konrad turns around and says this.

Doctor Conners: "You aren't a bad person; I know you avoid every confrontation possible. Now, about your work colleagues your ignoring. Tell me, Konrad, why are you not listening to them?"

Konrad Raab: "Because I don't understand why I'm a violent, angry man, and I don't want to hurt people."

Doctor Conners: "So you see, Lucy, nor Centurion aren't trying to put you down. It may seem they are, but here's the truth for you, they are helping you, more than you think. Listen to what Centurion said; you do need to grab the bull by the horns and make a statement. I know you want that for yourself. Also, I agree with him, and it's something you must answer, why are you neglecting to go for the UGWC title?"

Konrad Raab: "I know he is, but the reason is that I haven't earned it. Every time I've fought Hide, I lost. What's the point of chasing something unrealistic for me? I want to earn it, not just say, oh I'm going for the UGWC title. Wrestlers would laugh at me for making that ridiculous statement because I'm not good enough to be challenging for the UGWC title."

Doctor Conners hmmm's to himself on what Konrad said, feeling the negativity he'd get if Konrad stated he'd go for the belt. Konrad drinks more water from the plastic cup, and Conners hears Konrad's overall lack of confidence for himself.

Doctor Conners: "You should also pay attention to what Lucy said, and it's a significant one as well. Excuse me for my language here, but people are pieces of shits in this world, and they deserve anger and wrath from you. She mentioned if there's anyone you hate and I don't think you've ever mentioned, apart from Dave Rydell you hate anyone."

Konrad Raab: "I don't hate anyone, not even Dave Rydell. I may not like him, but hate is a powerful word, and I don't feel hatred for anyone in wrestling."

Doctor Conners: "Did you listen to Lucy also that if she said to you that she doesn't respect you, your title reign with the Cross-Hemisphere title is paled compared to her reign and what if you aren't good enough to be here to lace up her boots alongside her? All of this was her way of helping you by saying, you must get angry with those comments, not cry about it. Don't even say she's right because you know damn well she's not. Anger can be beneficial if people say that kind of stuff to you. It will show you aren't letting people walk over you; it will show that you aren't to be fucked with. You need to get angry in this Cross-Hemisphere title match; you need to show passion."

Konrad Raab: "I show passion all the time, but I don't need to be angry to show it."

Doctor Conners: "You need to do something about the comments that Lucy gave you for an example. How are Dave, Phrixus, Angelica and Centurion going to come in the match? Passion and anger because of how badly they want to win the title and everything people have said from one another. That's what they are saying that it's alright to be angry. It will show how desperate you are to win the title and make mistakes which you fear both of those. You need to work on it, most importantly, not beat yourself up for it. Anger leads to passion; passion leads to change. That's something else you got to remember is they want you to change and not just purely focus on Cross-Hemisphere title. I mean you have to focus on it for now, but next year, you will move on and focus on chasing for the UGWC title."

Konrad nodded, fully understanding what Conners said as he continues to write down how Konrad's reacting. However, it still made him feel so uncomfortable with him chasing for the UGWC title because he wasn't ready for it, and he knew he wasn't on that sort of level. Doctor Conners sees Konrad while acknowledging the comments, knew there was more than just telling him to use his anger. Conners has a few ideas as he discusses them with Konrad.

Doctor Conners: "Luckily for you, I told the staff that I will extend this session to as many hours you need because I know how much you need this support before the match at Horizons. So don't worry about time going over cos there are no time limits today. So since you struggle to get yourself angry in matches, here's what changes I like for you to do for your match. First off, I want you not to wear the mask; you need to show your factual expressions with anger, not only for your opponents but also for the fans as well. Believe me, everyone, including your opponents needs to see your face when you show anger."

Konrad Raab: "Well, I've wrestled without the mask before, so that's not an issue, even if the mask makes me feel confident and helps me wrestle better."

Doctor Conners: "That's why I'm asking for you to take it off as well, so you get confident on everyone looking at you, especially with your anger. Second of all, I like for you not to wear your gloves to wrestle your opponents."

Konrad Raab: "Why? I use gloves to protect my opponents from getting hurt with my punches."

Doctor Conners: "I want you to hurt your opponents. I want your opponents to feel the punches you do as well, not from the protection of your gloves. Nobody is going to hate you for punching them in the face from your own fist."

That was one of the options Konrad wasn't expecting. The mask was expected because he did need to show factual expressions of anger during the match for himself, the opponents and the fans. The gloves, however, that's well out of his comfort zone, something he had never been suggested for him to do. Konrad nodded, something he had to take into account. There was one other thing to the list, and that's certainly going to make Konrad uncomfortable for sure. He pulls out a single CD.

Doctor Conners: "Also to remind you of you being angry and getting you prepared for it, you must walk out to this song. I hear my eldest son play this all the time, and he said he listens to the song a lot because it helps him get angry. He knows I've taken it from him to give to you to walk out with. I also asked UGWC staff if any wrestler plays this song, they said no."

Konrad Raab: "I don't know, I never heard of this song, and the title alone doesn't feel right."

Doctor Conners: "That's why I'm giving it to you so you can listen to it and practice preparing yourself to be angry before the match begins. It will feel right once the music plays over the sound system. All of those things are going to help you get angry or prepare you for it."

Konrad Raab: "OK, thank you."

Doctor Conners writes down the suggestions Konrad's been given for the upcoming match as Konrad places the CD in his pocket so he can listen to it on his DVD player at home. He sees Konrad wasn't satisfied with the changes because he likes things being consistent. There was another thing Doctor Conners had to tell Konrad as he pulls something out of his pocket.

Doctor Conners: "Do you know what this is?"

Konrad Raab: "Oh, no."

Doctor Conners: "Oh, you were thinking I wouldn't be there to watch you wrestle, didn't you?"

Konrad Raab: "Yes."

Doctor Conners: "You are silly. Of course, I'm going to watch you wrestle at Horizons, making sure you do get angry and putting those plans into place I've advised you to do. It's apart of your therapy course. I've made all my plans not to come to work on Monday so I can watch you wrestle. I got the front row seat, so I'll be there to encourage you and applaud you when you let the beast in you."

Konrad Raab: "Thanks for making me more nervous than I already am about the match."

It did bother Konrad that Conners got the ticket behind Konrad's back and he sees the nerves kicking in with Konrad, shaky and sweat coming out of him, but Conners knew he had to be there, knowing Konrad would likely not do any of the things Conners had advised him to do. Conners wrote down the shock and feared Konrad had on the announcement.

Doctor Conners: "I've only just noticed each time we've had these sessions and in your wrestling videos that you don't do this at all. Do you use bad language at all in your life?"

Konrad Raab: "What's that got to do with anything?"

Doctor Conners: "It has a lot to do with this. I want you to answer the question, do you use bad language in your life?"

Konrad Raab: "Well, when I have sex, yes. Other times, no. I still don't understand why you asked me this question."

Doctor Conners hmmm's again, but it wasn't a very satisfying one as Conners is disappointed with Konrad, after hearing what he said. He did say he swears when he has sex, but not other times in his life. Conners shakes his head at Konrad and Konrad asks.

Konrad Raab: "Why are you looking at me as if I'm weird?"

Doctor Conners: "Because using bad language helps you with stress, frustration and anger. I don't know if you were told not to use bad language, but you need to start using words like shit, fuck, bastard to get your points across. It makes your anger more real and authentic to put it into words."

Konrad Raab: "I don't like to use bad language. It's more I chose not to."

Conners nodded, as he wrote it down in his book of therapy sessions Konrad had each time they meet along with Konrad's factual expressions and body language as well and Conners said ah before addressing it.

Doctor Conners: "That's what I thought. It doesn't matter if you like it or not; it helps you let off some steam. It's not going to make you look bad; it just lets people know your fucking pissed off with your progress or what people say about you. Do you see how much that's made me feel better by telling you how I feel?"

Konrad Raab: "I guess so."

Doctor Conners: "The answer should be yes. Telling people, you are fucking pissed off how you performed last week is far more effective than you are disgusted how you performed last week. Get what I mean? It helps with getting angry at something. It would help if you used bad language a lot more often, it helps to cope with your life, and it also helps to get passion and anger out of you as well. It also helps you heal the pain you always seem to go through all the time. Do you understand?"

Konrad nodded, although he did understand the importance now of using bad language on the effectiveness Conners told Konrad compared to the way Konrad expressed it. Certainly was a day of a learning curve for Konrad for everything he's being told, all before the Cross-Hemisphere title match as well. Conners speaks.

Doctor Conners: "Good. I think that's all I have to say today. It was a lot longer than usual, but remember everything we've discussed today. Personally right now, is the time to let out every ounce of anger you keep building up and let it out. You need to benefit yourself, and that includes using bad language in your video. Good luck and remember, I will be watching you wrestle as a spectator, and I will be writing down everything you do in the ring. We will review it next year what I wrote down during your match as we won't have any more of these sessions, until then since there's no point to discuss anything if UGWC is on hiatus until January. I'll see you on Monday."

Konrad Raab: "Alright, I'll see you, then."

Conners and Konrad shook each other's hands before Konrad places the CD inside of his coat pocket and Conners opens the door to allow Konrad out of the room. He walks out of the building for the last time this year and goes home to place the CD in the DVD drive and listens to it, practising his preparation for anger. As he listens to it more than a few times, he sighs and says this.

Konrad Raab: "Now I see why Conners told me that it would get my anger out. Certainly does help already. First thing I need to do is apologise to everyone I ignored in the video. Then find a way to accept anger in my life and use it to my advantage in the Cross-Hemisphere title match both in and out of the ring for my video tomorrow."

Konrad nods as he's grabbing something to eat and drink before relaxing throughout the day by listening to the CD a few more times, before deciding to place a movie in the drive to watch by himself, while drinking a protein drink he started doing since he found out they were good for him and his body workout. After the movie, he went straight to his bedroom and went straight off to sleep.