Post by wwjbcd on Aug 10, 2021 19:55:36 GMT -5
He then drops his hand and shrugs towards Ragdoll, “Do you have anything lucid to say? Ever? No you don’t. So… you know…”
“A gun won’t do anything to it, but this will.” Emily’s nameless but capable security agent said calmly. He suddenly brought a large bottle of water into view and hurled the contents strategically at the series of port holes and other “sensitive to water” areas he’d been identifying since the moment the robot appeared from under the table.
“KILL IT WITH WATER!” Emily wailed, her voice now emboldened from seeing the simple but effective countermeasure employed by her security agent. She spotted a smaller water bottle next to Johnny Hitmaker, so she nabbed it up and tried hurling the contents at the depraved robot she’d twice had the displeasure of encountering in the ring at Carnage Wrestling.
“Hey, HEY!” The Masked Machinist exclaimed at the senseless attack. “I didn’t bring any rice with me this time!!”
“Not to worry, baby, I feel great!” A69 assures their master by stroking their arm. But then, they started to shake and smoke as the intro to “Cars” by Gary Numan started to play. Grabbing a hold of MM, they began to uncontrollably (?) dry hump their master before he could break away.
“Oh well that’s just great!” MM sighed.
“HEY!" Johnny barked, “That’s MY line!! Either get Pervert-O-Tron 5000 in line or get out!”
“I’m trying, I’m trying!” MM shrieked as he pulled out a box of tissues and ineffectually tried dabbing away any noticeable moisture.
Johnny just rested his head in his hand and looked on at Hide. Hide offered no consoling look. How could he? Where would he even begin?
“What else can go wrong?” Johnny asked prophetically.
"First, that's a terrible thing to put out to the universe, and secondly, you've still not made your sales pitch. " Mac states flatly as he makes his way over to the robot. After a quick inspection he turns the power pack off at the base of its skull.
Kyra just chuckles from the far side of the room. "Okay this is a lot more fun than I'd ever imagined."
"You know, babe," Ken chimes in. "We have vastly different ideas of fun."
Ken looks back over at Johnny.
"Well…"
“My-” Johnny started before sighing in frustration. “My PROPOSAL is, come join The Coalition. I’ll manage you all. We can swarm the competition and take all the belts! We’ll be the MOST dominant sub-organization the likes the world has never SEEN! Fame! Glory! Gold! Respect! For God’s sake - what MORE do you people want?!”
“Um. Mr. Hitmaker...I don’t think you want to know what my boss wants. He’s...well he’s been thru a lot in the past year and…”
“Ben. Zip it.”
“Yes Mr. Steel.”
“And thank you for your concern, but as far as what Mr. Clitfaker is talking about I gotta say I am impressed. It takes an adamant amount of pure, uncut, straight to the bloodstream egotism to form the amount of sheer self confidence to believe the bullshit you just said and actually think you can pull it off. I don’t speak for everyone here, but I can tell you for a lot of us we just lost a federation that meant more to us than anything that you, in your close mindset of utter narcissism, could never contemplate because let’s be honest. You’ve never fallen in love with a place or a group because deep down you don’t love yourself. You want to be this big manager. This big star by using others to get what you want because you lack the physical, mental, spiritual, and downright guts to do what we do. And some of us have made a career on torching places like where you work down to the ground. You’ve offered me fame. Got that. Glory. Got that. Gold. Had it. Overrated as fuck. Respect? Bitch...I walk into a room and everyone knows me by reputation that I have earned...all without a fucking little cyst like you attached to my ass trying to take ten percent of my gross earnings.” Trent leans forward on the screen. “What I want Mr. Hitmaker is nothing you can give me. You talk about things that mean nothing to me right now. I have nothing left to prove to the wrestling world because it knows me damn well enough to know that when I return to it there is gonna be a bloodbath the likes of which every promoter will pay me top dollar to NOT do. My friends here might feel different, but there isn’t a damn thing in your pitch that even sounds remotely interesting to me. Also quite frankly...you’re mental stability that I have seen today has me concerned that you are less stable than Ragdoll. No offense dear.”
Ken looks at Kyra then back to Johnny.
"I'm with Trent on this one. I would rather retire than have you manage us."
"NOW can I kick him in the balls?" Kyra chimes in. Ken just shrugs. Ken whispers something in Kyra's ear and motions towards Ragdoll with his head.
“Ben! Make sure you record this part. This’ll get major hits on the youtubes with the zoomers…” Trent laughs as Ben just looks towards the phone and rolls his eyes.
“Sir. Never say that again.”
Johnny turns to Hide, “Hide, kill anyone who touches me.”
Hide shrugs, “We should all reconsider any further violence. Johnny is easily agitated but he means well.”
“HIDE THEY DON’T SPEAK JAPANESE, THEY’RE COMMON FOLK!!!” Johnny shrieked. Johnny tried laughing away the whole thing. “Listen, if you, Mr. Steel figure you can’t hang with the folks in The Coalition, why didn’t you just say so from the get-go? You could have said, ‘Oh, Mr. Hitmaker, I’d just be a burden to your whole organization’ and I’d of course just sell your contract to the first homeless bum I could for $1! You’d be THEIR problem after that! And as far as the rest of you goes, I don’t think you’re taking any of this seriously! You have the opportunity of a LIFETIME here! I made wrestling history with the biggest mass-acquisition ever witnessed, and now YOU all, well, except poor Mr. Steel over there, can grab that baton and RUN with it! Make wrestling history for YOURSELVES! The internet wrestling community has already written you all off; they figure you’ll just refuse to help me and go off once more into anonymity and mediocrity! I offer you IMMORTALITY, for fuck’s sake!!! Grab destiny by the balls… and stay the HELL away from mine!!”
'Counter offer,' said Ragdoll, still bound to the chair as she addressed the room, 'First person to untie me is the last person I kill.'
The Masked Machinist quickly runs up behind Ragdoll.
“WHAT THE FUCKING FUCKING ARE YOU DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOING?!?!?!?!” Johnny screamed so loud it startled MM.
“I don’t want to die before I get laid again!!” MM whined.
“Get. A. Way. Fro. M. HER!!!” Johnny demanded.
MM backed off, but looked very sad about it.
Mac smirks at Johnny, "there's nothing common about me. " looking over at Hide he says in Japanese, "violence is always my first option, however for the sake of negotiations I'm reconsidering" He then turns his attention to Johnny once again. "That was almost funny, going to make us stars, are ya? I agree with Trent and Ken. I hope Kyra kicks you in the balls." He looks over at Ragdoll and gets a funny look on his face.
Johnny sucks his teeth and rolls his eyes. Reclining in his chair, he replies, “Look, YOU know how it goes: you’re a big deal elsewhere - maybe the BIGGEST deal - and what does that make you in another promoter’s company? NOTHING! Even now, who here acknowledges all of my accomplishments in this industry? All the gold I won? All the Hall of Fame rings I acquired? All the wrestlers I managed? All the EVERYTHING: BLOOD! SWEAT! TEARS! I gave for the sport of kings?! Do you recognize who I am? Or are you going to recognize that you are in the presence of the ONLY man who can take filet mignon and make it into wagyu beef medium rare? I’ve done it ALL in this industry and THEN some! God damn you all-”
He swings his seat back down and slams both fists into the table. “THINK! If you were just a gaggle of ham-and-eggers, WHY would I waste my time here? WHY would I allow you to SPEAK to me this way?! This is a GOLDEN opportunity here, no, a PLATINUM opportunity! Opportunities like this don’t come every day, and you want to INSIST on settling for the aforementioned filet mignon?!”
Johnny gets up. “This is pointless. You all want to stoop to the same old tiresome Johnny tropes, then that’s fine by me! I’ll just sell your contracts and do what I do BEST: lead people with all the goddamn potential in the WORLD to the promised land! Hide here is a prime example, and regardless of what IDIOTS might say, he’s also my FRIEND! When our bond got stronger, GUESS WHAT? He became the Top EIGHT - not 10, EIGHT greatest World Heavyweight Champions The Coalition ever saw!”
“And outside of your home company, no one knows your name. Except for your twitter rants of course, those are comedy gold.” Mac said with heavy sarcasm. “I have always known who you are, but when you marginalize what others in this room have done in their careers because it wasn’t done under your roof. That makes you a lot less likely to garner the cooperation that you’re looking for.” Mac purposely steps up in front of Ragdoll and gives a hard glare to Johnny. “Fun fact little man, my contract with Carnage Wrestling expired by mutual agreement it was not pursued. So should I show up in your company, you will have no power over me whatsoever.”
“Excuse me… EXCUSE ME EVERYONE”... Emily yelled and gestured for everyone to pipe down. “Please be quiet for a moment. Important person is talking here.”
"Important person." Ken mumbles under his breath as Emily thumb gestured to herself.
“I cu…” Trent starts to say as Ben hits the mute button. Trent flips off Ben for a moment while Ben sighs.
“Mr. Hitmaker. You’re right. You’re a lot smarter and a better person than we give you credit for. I’m glad you also finally came to your senses and offered to sell our contracts. Because… well..” Emily sighed but didn’t finish. She retrieved her pretty pink pocket book from her expensive Sherbrooke business suit. She flung the glittered Goldman-Sachs pocket book open revealing a checkbook and pen.
“I hereby request to buy out my contract. Just name how many zeroes you want attached to the amount.” She stepped closer to Johnny, her eyes dead serious. “Oh… and I’d like to buy her contract also..”... Emily added, her expression morphing to a very mischievous one as she pointed to Ragdoll.
Johnny just nodded while Emily spoke, mostly seeming in agreement and periodically saying, “Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm” all throughout the sales pitch.
Once she’s finished speaking, he snaps his fingers and with that same hand points at Emily. “Denied!”
But before there can be any sort of rebuttal, he continues, “I hate to have to decline your GENEROUS offer, Ms. Gabbard, but tell you what: you don't have to win anymore of those 20, 30, whatever amount of matches that was anymore to get out of your contract. All you have to do is take down Incendium. Or hey, you can attempt both, and we see which one happens first!”
“But as far as Mr. Banal is concerned, uh, guess I gotta ask if what you’re saying is true… then… uhhhh, whatcha doin’ here, Skippy?” Johnny asked Mac. “I’ll TELL you what you’re doing here: you’re INTRIGUED! Yes, you’re intrigued but you’re playing coy. Hard to get! You don’t want to come off as too keen to this proposal, but listen up: you’re coming off too strong! We’re all intelligent people here, aren’t we?”
He looks over at The Masked Machinist desperately trying to repair Android 69, then he looks over at Ragdoll doing God knows what.
He clears his throat, “Well, anyway, this proposal is the opportunity of a lifetime; take it or leave it, though leaving it is… now what do the French say? Oh right: FUCKING STUPID!”
Ben unmutes Trent at this point. Ken decides to speak up.
“Well, Johnny, NOW you’ve finally managed to say something that’s piqued my interest. I’m not a fan of what happened when my lady and I stepped in the ring with them last time, so I would absolutely love to get my hands on them again. That having been said, I see no reason as to why you should benefit from something I would do of my own volition.”
“AS A UNITED FRONT-” Johnny barked, getting fed up with everyone. “We go into The Coalition and shake their foundations to their very core! It’ll be unprecedented! History-making! WHY IS THAT NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU PEOPLE?!?!?!”
Ken wags his finger disapprovingly at Hitmaker.
“In case you haven’t noticed, J-Dogg, collectively speaking, we are all too crazy, rich, independent, and/or too old to want to take orders from someone. You can sit here and you can bring all of the former Carnage Wrestling talent you want in here, but the fact of the matter is that Carnage was always about doing our own thing and not giving a shit what anyone else thought about us. You would have been wise to take note of that. For better or for worse, we all have Carnage orange running through our veins, not Shitmaker brown.”
“Uh-huh, mm-hmm, okay.” Johnny said, trying to keep calm. “I hear you and understand you. Ah, with that being said, however, just got a question for you:”
He clears his throat, “So when did you all become so boring? Uh, Ms. Gabbard excluded, of course.”
Ragdoll laughs and wiggles her hands, trying to get attention, 'I'm not boring! I brought a gun so you and I could play catch!'
“The, uh,” Ken clears his throat. “Lady raises a good point.”
'Why thank you!' Ragdoll squeals in return.
“My issue here, in case you missed it, isn’t the going after Incendeum part. It’s the you trying to take our contracts hostage.” Ken looks over at Kyra before speaking again. “I’m a big fan of getting my wins back, to my own detriment. She’ll tell you. I’m just sitting here telling you that I don’t trust your ass.”
“Just his ass Ken?” says Trent as he continues to smoke. Ben looks apologetically at Ken and Kyra.
“You really need to work on your timing sir.”
“I don’t know. Could be his face. I just assumed it was his ass because of all the shit coming out of it.”
“Fair point.” Trent laughs. “I’m just wanting to know...how pissed off is everyone about Carnage closing?”
“Most of us have been in this business long enough to know that’s just the way the business goes. I’m just angry that ¢SJ sold our contracts to this vaginal blood clot.”
“Well...that may be true, but you know what?” Trent puts out his cigarette. “Maybe if we’re lucky he’ll have a stroke right here.”
“Would I have to administer health services until the paramedics arrived Mr. Steel?” Ben asked.
“Nah...I’m sure he’s got people since he’s such a big name with his big money and his big reputation…”
This entire time, The Avenger has been sleeping with his feet propped up on the table, the papers he brought in resting in his lap and spilling over. The chair falls back and he lands on his back, rolling backward and then popping up back.
“WHO DARES?” He said, then looked out at everyone else. “Wait, where am I again?”
He looks down at his paperwork.
“Oh yeah,” he muttered, before pointing his finger up to the ceiling.. “BORING LEGAL DISCUSSIONS!”
With the theme to the People’s Court playing in his head, and him humming it, he moves around to Johnny and slams the stack of papers on the table.
“You’ll see here ALL the proper research and documents here from several legal experts, which say you CANNOT POSSIBLY own the contracts here, Citizen Windmaker! You have been defeated...BY A CLERICAL ERROR!”
Avenger points out his own contract, which shows the signature as “Johnny Bonecrusher.”
“As you can see, Your honor,” he says, motioning at the only one of them that is ‘Godly’, “Johnny signed the documents as ‘Bonecrusher, when in fact, he is no longer Bonecrusher! That name belongs to Sebastian Everett-Bryce!”
Somewhere from far away, someone could be heard adding, “THE THIRD!”
Avenger shook his head. “So that makes Johnny’s signatures FORGERIES, and he doesn’t own any of us! CASE CLOSED!”
Ragdoll gasps, her eyes wide and alarmed as she whispers quietly to herself, 'Deus ex machina!'
Emily also gasps. “Thank you… my god… THANK YOU!” She said to her knight in shining armor or cape or whatever analogy here. A single first world tear races down her unblemished, perfectly formed cheek. She visibly quakes with relief and joy! “I’m forever in your debt, Avenger!” she adds, gesturing from her heart to him. In her enchanting sea-blue orbs the Avenger is no longer some knuckle dragging mindless idiot brute like the rest of professional wrestling. He’s been a god-send. Emily is so happy she doesn’t bother acknowledging Johnny nor her request to buy Ragdoll’s contract. The Avenger literally has saved the day. WHAT A HERO! With that, she twirls her finger to her entourage and they roll out.
Johnny lets out one small quiet chuckle initially. Then a few more, only a bit louder. Then many more and much louder. He gets up, slapping the table with both hands. “Okay! That’s the last straw now! I give up! I tried! You all wanted to be argumentative when I was being RECEPTIVE to your words?! Fine! You all do the same old predictable thing! Professional wrestling is all about doing the unexpected - THAT is why you’re here NOW and NOT working in Carnage!”
He starts to leave, Hide looking back between him and the others before shrugging and following suit. “I’m out! I quit! You lose! Good-BYE!”
He heads closer to the exit, but then does a u-turn, making a beeline towards Ragdoll, “But not before I do… THIS!”
He pulls out a knife and partially cuts the nutty professional wrestler free. He then runs the fuck away.
Ragdoll pulls at the binds and the guards step back, clutching their guns. She tears herself free and stands up from the rolling chair rubbing her wrists. She looks up to see the guards and her former colleagues waiting.
'So,' the closest guard jerks back and she looks him over. She turns back to Ben, 'Are we still getting ice cream?'
“Yes ma’m!” Ben says.
“Make sure you get a receipt lovebirds.” Trent says as he hangs up the phone. Ben looks down at the phone and sighs.
“He puts the Do in Douchebag…Ice cream...yes?”
'Yea!' Ragdoll begins towards the door before turning on her heel, looking up to Ben. She opens the door and behind her a member of the janitorial staff cleans up blood from the wall, 'Want to hear a joke?'
“Sure…”
'Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician!'
Ragdoll smiles wide, turns to the closest guard and grabs his taser. Before he can react, she presses it into his thigh and pulls the trigger causing him to drop to the ground. She takes off down the hallway with the rest of the guard in hot pursuit. Ragdoll can be heard down the hallway yelling, 'He gets it!'
“You know she’s actually pretty funny.” Ben says as he turns around and looks at everyone. “Oh. Erm. Hope you all have a great time...Oh Mr. Davidson.”
Ben hands Ken the briefcase.
“Mr. Steel wanted me to make sure you had this. Said you’d know just what fun to cause with it.”
With that Ben walks away towards his rental car.
“A gun won’t do anything to it, but this will.” Emily’s nameless but capable security agent said calmly. He suddenly brought a large bottle of water into view and hurled the contents strategically at the series of port holes and other “sensitive to water” areas he’d been identifying since the moment the robot appeared from under the table.
“KILL IT WITH WATER!” Emily wailed, her voice now emboldened from seeing the simple but effective countermeasure employed by her security agent. She spotted a smaller water bottle next to Johnny Hitmaker, so she nabbed it up and tried hurling the contents at the depraved robot she’d twice had the displeasure of encountering in the ring at Carnage Wrestling.
“Hey, HEY!” The Masked Machinist exclaimed at the senseless attack. “I didn’t bring any rice with me this time!!”
“Not to worry, baby, I feel great!” A69 assures their master by stroking their arm. But then, they started to shake and smoke as the intro to “Cars” by Gary Numan started to play. Grabbing a hold of MM, they began to uncontrollably (?) dry hump their master before he could break away.
“Oh well that’s just great!” MM sighed.
“HEY!" Johnny barked, “That’s MY line!! Either get Pervert-O-Tron 5000 in line or get out!”
“I’m trying, I’m trying!” MM shrieked as he pulled out a box of tissues and ineffectually tried dabbing away any noticeable moisture.
Johnny just rested his head in his hand and looked on at Hide. Hide offered no consoling look. How could he? Where would he even begin?
“What else can go wrong?” Johnny asked prophetically.
"First, that's a terrible thing to put out to the universe, and secondly, you've still not made your sales pitch. " Mac states flatly as he makes his way over to the robot. After a quick inspection he turns the power pack off at the base of its skull.
Kyra just chuckles from the far side of the room. "Okay this is a lot more fun than I'd ever imagined."
"You know, babe," Ken chimes in. "We have vastly different ideas of fun."
Ken looks back over at Johnny.
"Well…"
“My-” Johnny started before sighing in frustration. “My PROPOSAL is, come join The Coalition. I’ll manage you all. We can swarm the competition and take all the belts! We’ll be the MOST dominant sub-organization the likes the world has never SEEN! Fame! Glory! Gold! Respect! For God’s sake - what MORE do you people want?!”
“Um. Mr. Hitmaker...I don’t think you want to know what my boss wants. He’s...well he’s been thru a lot in the past year and…”
“Ben. Zip it.”
“Yes Mr. Steel.”
“And thank you for your concern, but as far as what Mr. Clitfaker is talking about I gotta say I am impressed. It takes an adamant amount of pure, uncut, straight to the bloodstream egotism to form the amount of sheer self confidence to believe the bullshit you just said and actually think you can pull it off. I don’t speak for everyone here, but I can tell you for a lot of us we just lost a federation that meant more to us than anything that you, in your close mindset of utter narcissism, could never contemplate because let’s be honest. You’ve never fallen in love with a place or a group because deep down you don’t love yourself. You want to be this big manager. This big star by using others to get what you want because you lack the physical, mental, spiritual, and downright guts to do what we do. And some of us have made a career on torching places like where you work down to the ground. You’ve offered me fame. Got that. Glory. Got that. Gold. Had it. Overrated as fuck. Respect? Bitch...I walk into a room and everyone knows me by reputation that I have earned...all without a fucking little cyst like you attached to my ass trying to take ten percent of my gross earnings.” Trent leans forward on the screen. “What I want Mr. Hitmaker is nothing you can give me. You talk about things that mean nothing to me right now. I have nothing left to prove to the wrestling world because it knows me damn well enough to know that when I return to it there is gonna be a bloodbath the likes of which every promoter will pay me top dollar to NOT do. My friends here might feel different, but there isn’t a damn thing in your pitch that even sounds remotely interesting to me. Also quite frankly...you’re mental stability that I have seen today has me concerned that you are less stable than Ragdoll. No offense dear.”
Ken looks at Kyra then back to Johnny.
"I'm with Trent on this one. I would rather retire than have you manage us."
"NOW can I kick him in the balls?" Kyra chimes in. Ken just shrugs. Ken whispers something in Kyra's ear and motions towards Ragdoll with his head.
“Ben! Make sure you record this part. This’ll get major hits on the youtubes with the zoomers…” Trent laughs as Ben just looks towards the phone and rolls his eyes.
“Sir. Never say that again.”
Johnny turns to Hide, “Hide, kill anyone who touches me.”
Hide shrugs, “We should all reconsider any further violence. Johnny is easily agitated but he means well.”
“HIDE THEY DON’T SPEAK JAPANESE, THEY’RE COMMON FOLK!!!” Johnny shrieked. Johnny tried laughing away the whole thing. “Listen, if you, Mr. Steel figure you can’t hang with the folks in The Coalition, why didn’t you just say so from the get-go? You could have said, ‘Oh, Mr. Hitmaker, I’d just be a burden to your whole organization’ and I’d of course just sell your contract to the first homeless bum I could for $1! You’d be THEIR problem after that! And as far as the rest of you goes, I don’t think you’re taking any of this seriously! You have the opportunity of a LIFETIME here! I made wrestling history with the biggest mass-acquisition ever witnessed, and now YOU all, well, except poor Mr. Steel over there, can grab that baton and RUN with it! Make wrestling history for YOURSELVES! The internet wrestling community has already written you all off; they figure you’ll just refuse to help me and go off once more into anonymity and mediocrity! I offer you IMMORTALITY, for fuck’s sake!!! Grab destiny by the balls… and stay the HELL away from mine!!”
'Counter offer,' said Ragdoll, still bound to the chair as she addressed the room, 'First person to untie me is the last person I kill.'
The Masked Machinist quickly runs up behind Ragdoll.
“WHAT THE FUCKING FUCKING ARE YOU DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOING?!?!?!?!” Johnny screamed so loud it startled MM.
“I don’t want to die before I get laid again!!” MM whined.
“Get. A. Way. Fro. M. HER!!!” Johnny demanded.
MM backed off, but looked very sad about it.
Mac smirks at Johnny, "there's nothing common about me. " looking over at Hide he says in Japanese, "violence is always my first option, however for the sake of negotiations I'm reconsidering" He then turns his attention to Johnny once again. "That was almost funny, going to make us stars, are ya? I agree with Trent and Ken. I hope Kyra kicks you in the balls." He looks over at Ragdoll and gets a funny look on his face.
Johnny sucks his teeth and rolls his eyes. Reclining in his chair, he replies, “Look, YOU know how it goes: you’re a big deal elsewhere - maybe the BIGGEST deal - and what does that make you in another promoter’s company? NOTHING! Even now, who here acknowledges all of my accomplishments in this industry? All the gold I won? All the Hall of Fame rings I acquired? All the wrestlers I managed? All the EVERYTHING: BLOOD! SWEAT! TEARS! I gave for the sport of kings?! Do you recognize who I am? Or are you going to recognize that you are in the presence of the ONLY man who can take filet mignon and make it into wagyu beef medium rare? I’ve done it ALL in this industry and THEN some! God damn you all-”
He swings his seat back down and slams both fists into the table. “THINK! If you were just a gaggle of ham-and-eggers, WHY would I waste my time here? WHY would I allow you to SPEAK to me this way?! This is a GOLDEN opportunity here, no, a PLATINUM opportunity! Opportunities like this don’t come every day, and you want to INSIST on settling for the aforementioned filet mignon?!”
Johnny gets up. “This is pointless. You all want to stoop to the same old tiresome Johnny tropes, then that’s fine by me! I’ll just sell your contracts and do what I do BEST: lead people with all the goddamn potential in the WORLD to the promised land! Hide here is a prime example, and regardless of what IDIOTS might say, he’s also my FRIEND! When our bond got stronger, GUESS WHAT? He became the Top EIGHT - not 10, EIGHT greatest World Heavyweight Champions The Coalition ever saw!”
“And outside of your home company, no one knows your name. Except for your twitter rants of course, those are comedy gold.” Mac said with heavy sarcasm. “I have always known who you are, but when you marginalize what others in this room have done in their careers because it wasn’t done under your roof. That makes you a lot less likely to garner the cooperation that you’re looking for.” Mac purposely steps up in front of Ragdoll and gives a hard glare to Johnny. “Fun fact little man, my contract with Carnage Wrestling expired by mutual agreement it was not pursued. So should I show up in your company, you will have no power over me whatsoever.”
“Excuse me… EXCUSE ME EVERYONE”... Emily yelled and gestured for everyone to pipe down. “Please be quiet for a moment. Important person is talking here.”
"Important person." Ken mumbles under his breath as Emily thumb gestured to herself.
“I cu…” Trent starts to say as Ben hits the mute button. Trent flips off Ben for a moment while Ben sighs.
“Mr. Hitmaker. You’re right. You’re a lot smarter and a better person than we give you credit for. I’m glad you also finally came to your senses and offered to sell our contracts. Because… well..” Emily sighed but didn’t finish. She retrieved her pretty pink pocket book from her expensive Sherbrooke business suit. She flung the glittered Goldman-Sachs pocket book open revealing a checkbook and pen.
“I hereby request to buy out my contract. Just name how many zeroes you want attached to the amount.” She stepped closer to Johnny, her eyes dead serious. “Oh… and I’d like to buy her contract also..”... Emily added, her expression morphing to a very mischievous one as she pointed to Ragdoll.
Johnny just nodded while Emily spoke, mostly seeming in agreement and periodically saying, “Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm” all throughout the sales pitch.
Once she’s finished speaking, he snaps his fingers and with that same hand points at Emily. “Denied!”
But before there can be any sort of rebuttal, he continues, “I hate to have to decline your GENEROUS offer, Ms. Gabbard, but tell you what: you don't have to win anymore of those 20, 30, whatever amount of matches that was anymore to get out of your contract. All you have to do is take down Incendium. Or hey, you can attempt both, and we see which one happens first!”
“But as far as Mr. Banal is concerned, uh, guess I gotta ask if what you’re saying is true… then… uhhhh, whatcha doin’ here, Skippy?” Johnny asked Mac. “I’ll TELL you what you’re doing here: you’re INTRIGUED! Yes, you’re intrigued but you’re playing coy. Hard to get! You don’t want to come off as too keen to this proposal, but listen up: you’re coming off too strong! We’re all intelligent people here, aren’t we?”
He looks over at The Masked Machinist desperately trying to repair Android 69, then he looks over at Ragdoll doing God knows what.
He clears his throat, “Well, anyway, this proposal is the opportunity of a lifetime; take it or leave it, though leaving it is… now what do the French say? Oh right: FUCKING STUPID!”
Ben unmutes Trent at this point. Ken decides to speak up.
“Well, Johnny, NOW you’ve finally managed to say something that’s piqued my interest. I’m not a fan of what happened when my lady and I stepped in the ring with them last time, so I would absolutely love to get my hands on them again. That having been said, I see no reason as to why you should benefit from something I would do of my own volition.”
“AS A UNITED FRONT-” Johnny barked, getting fed up with everyone. “We go into The Coalition and shake their foundations to their very core! It’ll be unprecedented! History-making! WHY IS THAT NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU PEOPLE?!?!?!”
Ken wags his finger disapprovingly at Hitmaker.
“In case you haven’t noticed, J-Dogg, collectively speaking, we are all too crazy, rich, independent, and/or too old to want to take orders from someone. You can sit here and you can bring all of the former Carnage Wrestling talent you want in here, but the fact of the matter is that Carnage was always about doing our own thing and not giving a shit what anyone else thought about us. You would have been wise to take note of that. For better or for worse, we all have Carnage orange running through our veins, not Shitmaker brown.”
“Uh-huh, mm-hmm, okay.” Johnny said, trying to keep calm. “I hear you and understand you. Ah, with that being said, however, just got a question for you:”
He clears his throat, “So when did you all become so boring? Uh, Ms. Gabbard excluded, of course.”
Ragdoll laughs and wiggles her hands, trying to get attention, 'I'm not boring! I brought a gun so you and I could play catch!'
“The, uh,” Ken clears his throat. “Lady raises a good point.”
'Why thank you!' Ragdoll squeals in return.
“My issue here, in case you missed it, isn’t the going after Incendeum part. It’s the you trying to take our contracts hostage.” Ken looks over at Kyra before speaking again. “I’m a big fan of getting my wins back, to my own detriment. She’ll tell you. I’m just sitting here telling you that I don’t trust your ass.”
“Just his ass Ken?” says Trent as he continues to smoke. Ben looks apologetically at Ken and Kyra.
“You really need to work on your timing sir.”
“I don’t know. Could be his face. I just assumed it was his ass because of all the shit coming out of it.”
“Fair point.” Trent laughs. “I’m just wanting to know...how pissed off is everyone about Carnage closing?”
“Most of us have been in this business long enough to know that’s just the way the business goes. I’m just angry that ¢SJ sold our contracts to this vaginal blood clot.”
“Well...that may be true, but you know what?” Trent puts out his cigarette. “Maybe if we’re lucky he’ll have a stroke right here.”
“Would I have to administer health services until the paramedics arrived Mr. Steel?” Ben asked.
“Nah...I’m sure he’s got people since he’s such a big name with his big money and his big reputation…”
This entire time, The Avenger has been sleeping with his feet propped up on the table, the papers he brought in resting in his lap and spilling over. The chair falls back and he lands on his back, rolling backward and then popping up back.
“WHO DARES?” He said, then looked out at everyone else. “Wait, where am I again?”
He looks down at his paperwork.
“Oh yeah,” he muttered, before pointing his finger up to the ceiling.. “BORING LEGAL DISCUSSIONS!”
With the theme to the People’s Court playing in his head, and him humming it, he moves around to Johnny and slams the stack of papers on the table.
“You’ll see here ALL the proper research and documents here from several legal experts, which say you CANNOT POSSIBLY own the contracts here, Citizen Windmaker! You have been defeated...BY A CLERICAL ERROR!”
Avenger points out his own contract, which shows the signature as “Johnny Bonecrusher.”
“As you can see, Your honor,” he says, motioning at the only one of them that is ‘Godly’, “Johnny signed the documents as ‘Bonecrusher, when in fact, he is no longer Bonecrusher! That name belongs to Sebastian Everett-Bryce!”
Somewhere from far away, someone could be heard adding, “THE THIRD!”
Avenger shook his head. “So that makes Johnny’s signatures FORGERIES, and he doesn’t own any of us! CASE CLOSED!”
Ragdoll gasps, her eyes wide and alarmed as she whispers quietly to herself, 'Deus ex machina!'
Emily also gasps. “Thank you… my god… THANK YOU!” She said to her knight in shining armor or cape or whatever analogy here. A single first world tear races down her unblemished, perfectly formed cheek. She visibly quakes with relief and joy! “I’m forever in your debt, Avenger!” she adds, gesturing from her heart to him. In her enchanting sea-blue orbs the Avenger is no longer some knuckle dragging mindless idiot brute like the rest of professional wrestling. He’s been a god-send. Emily is so happy she doesn’t bother acknowledging Johnny nor her request to buy Ragdoll’s contract. The Avenger literally has saved the day. WHAT A HERO! With that, she twirls her finger to her entourage and they roll out.
Johnny lets out one small quiet chuckle initially. Then a few more, only a bit louder. Then many more and much louder. He gets up, slapping the table with both hands. “Okay! That’s the last straw now! I give up! I tried! You all wanted to be argumentative when I was being RECEPTIVE to your words?! Fine! You all do the same old predictable thing! Professional wrestling is all about doing the unexpected - THAT is why you’re here NOW and NOT working in Carnage!”
He starts to leave, Hide looking back between him and the others before shrugging and following suit. “I’m out! I quit! You lose! Good-BYE!”
He heads closer to the exit, but then does a u-turn, making a beeline towards Ragdoll, “But not before I do… THIS!”
He pulls out a knife and partially cuts the nutty professional wrestler free. He then runs the fuck away.
Ragdoll pulls at the binds and the guards step back, clutching their guns. She tears herself free and stands up from the rolling chair rubbing her wrists. She looks up to see the guards and her former colleagues waiting.
'So,' the closest guard jerks back and she looks him over. She turns back to Ben, 'Are we still getting ice cream?'
“Yes ma’m!” Ben says.
“Make sure you get a receipt lovebirds.” Trent says as he hangs up the phone. Ben looks down at the phone and sighs.
“He puts the Do in Douchebag…Ice cream...yes?”
'Yea!' Ragdoll begins towards the door before turning on her heel, looking up to Ben. She opens the door and behind her a member of the janitorial staff cleans up blood from the wall, 'Want to hear a joke?'
“Sure…”
'Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician!'
Ragdoll smiles wide, turns to the closest guard and grabs his taser. Before he can react, she presses it into his thigh and pulls the trigger causing him to drop to the ground. She takes off down the hallway with the rest of the guard in hot pursuit. Ragdoll can be heard down the hallway yelling, 'He gets it!'
“You know she’s actually pretty funny.” Ben says as he turns around and looks at everyone. “Oh. Erm. Hope you all have a great time...Oh Mr. Davidson.”
Ben hands Ken the briefcase.
“Mr. Steel wanted me to make sure you had this. Said you’d know just what fun to cause with it.”
With that Ben walks away towards his rental car.
THE END...?