Post by thedarkdestroyer on Jan 17, 2023 17:57:23 GMT -5
"Moxy Rollon!"
This incorrect and slightly shrill bellow comes forth from the face hole of none other than UGWC's resident purveyor of petrification, the #1 Emissary of EVIL, the
"Alright! They get it!"
Sorry. I was building anticipation.
"They don't need you to help them build more hate toward 'The Dark Destroyer'!"
The Destroyer throws his arms out for emphasis and in so doing accomplishes something less useful when he throws himself off balance. The unfortunate side effect of this is that the back of his head smacks into a metal equipment locker. Assume the prerequisite loud "thud", in spite of the entirety of his head being empty.
"Hey!" His protestations are cut short as his eyes cross and he grabs at the back of his head. "Oye!"
He begins to slide down the front of the cabinet to the floor, leaving a slightly confused Roxy Malone standing by.
"Ow!" He groans. "Ugh! Oye!"
If you've ever seen "Blazing Saddles", this is very reminiscent of the scene when Governor LePetomane slams the back of his head into his office wall. I guess Roxy is the unlucky stand in for Headley Lamar.
"The stars. Look at the pretty stars!"
Roxy perks up to ask a question, but the Destroyer keeps groaning as he finally reaches the floor.
"The Battle of Hastings on Hudson..." He mumbles, apropos of nothing. "Took place in ten sixty… sixty… sixty red balloons…"
He pauses, and then starts to sing. Roxy is understandably befuddled.
"Sixty-six red balloons. Floating in the summer sky. Panic bells, it's red alert! There's something here from somewhere else!"
He pauses as a look of confusion comes to his face.
"IT'S EVIL!!!"
"What's he talking about"? Roxy mouths at someone off camera.
The view momentarily goes up, and then settles back to normal. Roxy shrugs in return as the Destroyer continues singing to himself.
"Sixty-six times he's won the war," he continues. "To become the champ and so much more!"
His voice trails off and he appears to momentarily black out.
"HE'S A PAIN!" He suddenly bellows. "IT'S A PARADOX!!"
Roxy scribbles something down as the Destroyer continues to ramble. You go, girl.
"He opens up one eager eye," One eye pops open and stares straight at the ceiling. "Focusing it on the sky!"
Roxy scribbles again, seems to think better of it and erases it.
"Am I in a dungeon," The Destroyer mumbles to himself. "Or is it a cave...maybe of the dragon variety!"
He continues to give the ceiling a one-eyed mean mugging. It reacts to his threatening gaze as you’d expect it to.
“Owen will you answer me,” he laments. “Gods of EVIL, why will you not answer your favorite son?”
Maybe you’re on the B-Team.
“Isn’t that gimmick infringement,” Destroyer mutters.
What?
“What?”
What?
“I’m confused,” the Destroyer says, looking at Roxy. Or at least looking in her direction.
“What else is new?” We hear from behind the camera.
Roxy shoots the cameraman a dirty look, but the Sultan of Sadism seems not to notice. He continues to stare towards Roxy.
“Six little Lords sitting on a bed, one falls off and bonks his head!” The Destroyer suddenly exclaims.
Once again he looks confused.
“Or was it six red balloons,” he asks to no one in particular. “Or ninety-nine…”
He suddenly breaks into song.
“99 dreams I have had. In every one, a red balloon…”
He trails off again. It doesn’t last nearly long enough.
“It's all over,” he bellows. Roxy finally throws up her head and frustration and walks off. He doesn’t appear to notice.
“And I'm standing pretty…”
That statement’s wrong in every way.
“Donovan!” He bellows, then takes a deep breath.
“EEEEEEEEVIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLL!!!!”
He promptly passes out as his head slumps to the side and carries him over onto the floor. Another Dark Destroyer misadventure is mercifully concludes as a crab scurries up to him and raises it’s claw high.
Fin.
This incorrect and slightly shrill bellow comes forth from the face hole of none other than UGWC's resident purveyor of petrification, the #1 Emissary of EVIL, the
"Alright! They get it!"
Sorry. I was building anticipation.
"They don't need you to help them build more hate toward 'The Dark Destroyer'!"
The Destroyer throws his arms out for emphasis and in so doing accomplishes something less useful when he throws himself off balance. The unfortunate side effect of this is that the back of his head smacks into a metal equipment locker. Assume the prerequisite loud "thud", in spite of the entirety of his head being empty.
"Hey!" His protestations are cut short as his eyes cross and he grabs at the back of his head. "Oye!"
He begins to slide down the front of the cabinet to the floor, leaving a slightly confused Roxy Malone standing by.
"Ow!" He groans. "Ugh! Oye!"
If you've ever seen "Blazing Saddles", this is very reminiscent of the scene when Governor LePetomane slams the back of his head into his office wall. I guess Roxy is the unlucky stand in for Headley Lamar.
"The stars. Look at the pretty stars!"
Roxy perks up to ask a question, but the Destroyer keeps groaning as he finally reaches the floor.
"The Battle of Hastings on Hudson..." He mumbles, apropos of nothing. "Took place in ten sixty… sixty… sixty red balloons…"
He pauses, and then starts to sing. Roxy is understandably befuddled.
"Sixty-six red balloons. Floating in the summer sky. Panic bells, it's red alert! There's something here from somewhere else!"
He pauses as a look of confusion comes to his face.
"IT'S EVIL!!!"
"What's he talking about"? Roxy mouths at someone off camera.
The view momentarily goes up, and then settles back to normal. Roxy shrugs in return as the Destroyer continues singing to himself.
"Sixty-six times he's won the war," he continues. "To become the champ and so much more!"
His voice trails off and he appears to momentarily black out.
"HE'S A PAIN!" He suddenly bellows. "IT'S A PARADOX!!"
Roxy scribbles something down as the Destroyer continues to ramble. You go, girl.
"He opens up one eager eye," One eye pops open and stares straight at the ceiling. "Focusing it on the sky!"
Roxy scribbles again, seems to think better of it and erases it.
"Am I in a dungeon," The Destroyer mumbles to himself. "Or is it a cave...maybe of the dragon variety!"
He continues to give the ceiling a one-eyed mean mugging. It reacts to his threatening gaze as you’d expect it to.
“Owen will you answer me,” he laments. “Gods of EVIL, why will you not answer your favorite son?”
Maybe you’re on the B-Team.
“Isn’t that gimmick infringement,” Destroyer mutters.
What?
“What?”
What?
“I’m confused,” the Destroyer says, looking at Roxy. Or at least looking in her direction.
“What else is new?” We hear from behind the camera.
Roxy shoots the cameraman a dirty look, but the Sultan of Sadism seems not to notice. He continues to stare towards Roxy.
“Six little Lords sitting on a bed, one falls off and bonks his head!” The Destroyer suddenly exclaims.
Once again he looks confused.
“Or was it six red balloons,” he asks to no one in particular. “Or ninety-nine…”
He suddenly breaks into song.
“99 dreams I have had. In every one, a red balloon…”
He trails off again. It doesn’t last nearly long enough.
“It's all over,” he bellows. Roxy finally throws up her head and frustration and walks off. He doesn’t appear to notice.
“And I'm standing pretty…”
That statement’s wrong in every way.
“Donovan!” He bellows, then takes a deep breath.
“EEEEEEEEVIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLL!!!!”
He promptly passes out as his head slumps to the side and carries him over onto the floor. Another Dark Destroyer misadventure is mercifully concludes as a crab scurries up to him and raises it’s claw high.
Fin.