Post by T-Robosaurus Rex on Jul 22, 2009 19:34:22 GMT -5
[The scene opens, and immediately we are faced by the round, seemingly ever expanding, body mass of the one, and only, Tate Levene. He skates down the corridor of the GIW arena, half eaten pretzel in one hand, the other attempting to keep the teenagers balance. He seems to be having a very in depth conversation with himself, and his behaviour attracts a few confused looks from passing members of the backstage crew. Soon we see the reason for the odd behaviour, and that is a Bluetooth headset inserted into the left hand ear of Triple McF. Obviously not crazy, as originally assumed, Tate is in conversation with someone over the phone, given this revelation we focus on the words coming from his mouth.]
Tate – ‘Yes...yes...Of course...No really, this isn’t a joke, he really will be there....Mr Roberts takes the plight of underprivileged children very seriously....yes...yes...I’m sure Travis would have a few moments to meet him...seriously, he’ll be there, chill!....I know it doesn’t sound like him, but the last week or so he’s been on a real charity kick...OK, we’ll see you then...Bye Mrs Toodlesnappin!’
[Tate raises his empty hand to the Bluetooth headset and pushes the button to end the call, at the same time the restraint of a five minute phone call is discarded, and he forces the other hand, containing the pretzel, rapidly towards his mouth. For those familiar with the antics of ‘Fatty McFat Fat’ what happens next should not be a surprise. Having removed his free hand from its crucial task of balancing his enormous frame atop his skateboard, and also making a rapid movement with his food filled hand, Tate seriously misjudges the fundamental rules of physics, and ends up almost punching himself in the face as he falls backwards violently, as the board escapes from underneath him. Our attention though is torn from the, frankly, highly entertaining sight of a fat kid trying to right himself, by a familiar voice.]
Mary-Joanna – ‘Look eDison, his new agent has fallen once more, do be a good little...thing and help him up. MJ has things she wishes to discuss with Travis in private...’
[Mary-Joanna barley gives Tate a passing glance as she makes the comments, and then struts off in her pinstriped trouser suit towards Travis’ locker room. eD looks down at Tate and sighs, offering Triple McF his furry, spongy hand. Tate waves his hand symbolising his will to do do this for himself. He then puts one finger up to suggest it will take him a moment, he them lies flat on the floor and reaches into a pocket, and pulls out his inhaler. After a suitably long drag on his breathing aid, he begins to wiggle his legs rapidly, and then begins rocking from side to side, until his momentum is at a full, he then uses the momentum, to somehow propel him into a vertical position. He then takes another breath on his inhaler and smiles at eD, who just looks on stunned by the performance he has just witnessed. Without a sign of shame or embarrassment Tate begins the conversation ]
Tate – ‘Hey man! Howya doin’!’
eD – ‘Fine...I guess...you know the deal, our job is a thankless one...’
Tate – ‘Nah man, I love my job....’
eD – ‘Sorry, yes, I forgot, Travis actually treats you with some humility...’
tate – ‘I don’t even know what that means...but Travis treats me pretty good. Ooooh yeah! I actually wanted to talk to you...’
eD – ‘Look, I still have no idea when the canteen is going to provide bigger plates...’
Tate – ‘Nah! It’s not about that...but could ya ask Obese Tony again, the man intimidates me, he’s so successful I’m not sure I could look him in the eye, and his food is to die for...his strawberry cheesecakes...mmmmmmm’
[Tate’s eyes glaze over and he stares fixedly into the middle distance. eD awaits the completion of the sentence for around thirty seconds, when Fatty McFat Fat begins to drool however, eD sighs and interrupts the heavy set young man’s waking fantasy...]
eD – ‘Ahem!...’
Tate – ‘Cream....What?....Hmmm...Oh yeah....’
eD – ‘What was it you wanted to talk to me about?’
Tate – ‘Well it was about Travis really, was wondering if you could tell me what charity work he used to do with you? Whether he had any favourites?’
eD – ‘Charities? I know he had a subscription to the ‘High Times’, but despite his insistence that it should be counted as charitable contributions, the accountant never bought that at the end of the tax year....’
Tate – ‘Not to give money to, to visit...’
eD – ‘Visit? Charities? Travis?...I’d cancel any arrangements you have made, you are making a huge mistake on so many levels...’
Tate – ‘But Travis asked me to...and...’
eD – ‘Travis...the needy and unfortunate...together....my god, make some excuse....you simply cannot allow that to happen. Especially with increased scrutiny the GIW product is under at the moment...it could be catastrophic...seriously...Old Testament, God of Wrath type stuff! Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies!...Rivers and sea’s boiling!....Forty years of darkness!...Earthquakes!...Volcanoes!...The Dead Rising from the grave...Human Sacrifice! Dogs and Cats living together!...MASS HSYTERIA!’
[eD’s usually yellow complexion seems to have turned, at least around his face, a bright orange, he is short of breath and his eyes dart around the corridor, almost on the verge of a seizure. Tate looks at him with a deadpan face]
Tate – ‘Um...we’ve already visited three this week...’
eD – ‘THREE!?!?!?...How in the name of TWiSTeD are we all still here?’
Tate – ‘It all went pretty smoothly actually. He did some work for the ‘Make a Wish Foundation’ and those poor kids, they had the time of their lives, climbing all over him, pulling his hair, pretending to pin him...’
eD – ‘Seriously...let me get this straight...Travis Roberts...Six Foot Two, long black hair, Unified Global Champion....willingly let terminally ill, and by that I mean dying, children touch him?’
Tate – ‘Yeah, it’s not so strange, deep down the guys nice...you know that, he does have a heart beneath the bravado...’
eD – ‘Are you sure you haven’t been eating Travis’ brownies every day?’
Tate – ‘Seriously? You think he’d let me near them? What’s so hard to believe about all this...it really happened, this isn’t a joke. I keep telling people that...’
[eD looks at Tate and can tell the Chubby Little Funster is telling the gods honest truth. eD’s furry brow creases up, and his big bushy eyebrows dart downwards as he thinks for a moment, raising his hand to his chin and stroking it, as if a beard had magically sprung from there...]
eD – ‘Hmmm, something must be wrong, this isn’t Travis...I have to get to the bottom of this...have you noticed anything unusual in his behaviour recently?’
Tate – ‘Ummmm...he does spend a lot of time in the shower, after the events...’
[At this moment eD’s phone begins to ring, and he quickly answers it, but before he can even get a word out we can hear the caller on the other end of the line]
Boss P – ‘WHERE DA HELL JU AT?!? SHIT NIGGA I HAD TO ANSWER MY OWN DAMN PHONE, DIS SHIT JUST AIN’T ON, CAN’T HAVE YOUR YELLOW ASS RUNNING AROUND WID DAT SKANK ALL DAY IF YO’ AIN’T AROUND TO ANSWER BOSS P’S PHONE YA HEAR?
AND SHIT NIGLET, WAS ‘DIS JOURNO BROAD ON DA’ OTHER END, ASKING ME QUESTIONS ABOUT SOME DAMASCUS NIGLET BEING BANNED FROM DA’ INDEPENDANT FEDS. DA BITCH WAS ASKING IF GIW WOULD FOLLOW SUIT AND BAN DIS’ NIGLET TO SHOW WE IS SERIOUS ABOUT CLEANING UP OUR ACT!’
eD – ‘And what, did you say?’
Boss P – ’DA FUCK YO THINK I SAID? I ASKED WHY WOULD WE TAKE IT UPON OUR ASSES TO BAN DA CAPITAL CITY OF SYRIA? TALK ABOU DISCRIMINATION AND SHIT...WHAT DA FUCK DID ’DEY DO?’
eD – ‘Really?’
Boss P – ’DAMN STRAIGHT! DAT BITCH SOUNDED REAL PLEASED AS WELL, WHO DA FUCK NEEDS PRESS SECRETARIES AND SHIT...’
eD – ‘Oh shi...I’ll go and get MJ...don’t take anymore phonecalls...’
[eD hangs up the call, and looks down the hallway, where we can see MJ in the distance standing outside Travis’ locker room, he then turns back to Tate]
eD – ‘Thanks for the catch up....I gotta go, we could have a PR nightmare on our hands...’
[And with that eD takes off down the hall towards Mary-Joanna. We then travel a few moments back in time, and see Mary-Joanna confidently striding away from eD, and the wobbling Tate, who is now, once again on the floor. Her designer suit, fits perfectly against the lines of her body as she approaches the door to Travis’ locker room and knocks. After a moment the door opens, and Mary-Jo isn’t expecting the sight she sees and is taken aback somewhat, by the appearance of Old Lady Levene...]
Old Lady Levene – ‘Can I help?’
Mary-Jo – ‘Whilst it is true that no other lover could replace the voice that the ‘TWiSteD Heiress’ left in Travis’ life, and the fact that Mary-Joanna always knew he’d suffer some problems adjusting...MJ never expected this...’
Old Lady Levene – ‘So you’re the infamous Mary-Joanna, I’m not quite sure what you are implying, but from what I have heard it’s most likely to be utter filth...’
Mary-Jo – ‘Now now! You’ve only just met MJ, how can you make such swift judgements. ‘The TWiSTeD Matriach’ isn’t surprised, but jealousy from a woman of your age is not attractive...’
Old Lady Levene – ‘I refrained from being attractive in the 1980’s my dear. All the attention it garners is unbecoming.’
Mary-Jo – ‘As much as MJ would love to reminisce with you about memories of beating off the Redcoats, she came here with a purpose. Mary-Joanna would like to see her husband...’
Old Lady Levene – ‘I’m afraid that won’t be possible, he is out at the moment.’
Mary-Jo – ‘Out? He’s not in the gym, and he spends all his time in this damn arena since Declan left him, where the hell has he gone? Did that fat retard forget his rolling papers or something?’
Old Lady Levene – ‘Travis is doing some charitable work, and for your information that ‘retard’ is my grandson...’
Mary-Jo – ‘Your grandchild? This keeps getting weirder. But as perplexing as the company MJ’s Husbands current keeps, Mary-Joanna is more confused by the mention of charitable work in the same sentence as the name Travis....maybe we are confusing two people...the Travis MJ is speaking of is around 6’2”, handsome in that bastard kind of way, and most importantly he is young....ish...and certainly doesn’t do charitable work...’
Old Lady Levene – ‘I know very well who Travis Roberts is, and I would be grateful if you didn’t take that tone with me. You may think everyone is impressed with you, but I’ll tell you this for free young lady, I can see right through you. And in just a few moments of being around you, it gives me a greater insight into why Travis is how he is is...’
Mary-Jo – ‘MJ cannot take all the credit, but a fair amount. However, Mary-Joanna is still perplexed as to why he’s doing charitable work...and hasn’t informed the press office? ‘The TWiSTeD Matriarch’ knows Travis too well, her husband would never do something that had no personal gain for himself...something must be wrong....’
Old Lady Levene – ‘Maybe you just don’t know Travis as well as you thought you did. Maybe you misjudged him for so long, maybe you were taken in by it all, and missed the fact he’s not an arrogant monster...’
Mary-Jo – ‘And maybe your grandson could make the Olympic Sprinting Team for London 2012...some things wrong...’
Old Lady Levene – ‘I’ve seen women like you before my dear, I know exactly whats going on in that head of yours. But before you go through with whatever putrid thoughts are crossing your mind, heed my words. Women like you...people like you...end up alone, and unhappy, their only thrill is in others discomfort and finding ways to exploit it....but when your joints start to ache, and when your brain starts to slow, there will be no-one...and you’ll have no one to blame but yourself.’
[MJ looks down at Old Lady Levene as if she wasn’t even remotely aware of the woman’s presence, she raises her eyebrows, and pulls a fake, hollow smile...]
Mary – Jo – ‘MJ is sorry....were you saying something? Mary-Joanna was off in her own little world there, but despite the age difference, ‘The TWiSteD Matriach’ can see a spark in you, that could stretch to a dubious reason for MJ’s husband sleeping with you...’
[Old Lady Levene’s eyes almost pop out of her skull as her jaw flaps around for a few moments, obviously enraged and insulted by what MJ has just said.]
Old Lady Levene – ‘Never in my life have I been so insulted, not since someone suggested I buy a Japanese car has someone affronted me so much. Sleeping together? I’ll have you know...’
[Before Old Lady Tate can continue, she is interrupted as the flailing limbs of eD cASe come hurtling towards the ladies, screaming at the top of his lungs]
eD – ‘FORGET TRAVIS, WE GOT PROBLEMS!’
[MJ causally turns to Old Lady Levene, as if she hadn’t said a single word before hand, and bids her farewell]
Mary-Jo – ‘Must dash, it was wonderful meeting you, try not to wear my husband out, toodles...’
[And with that eD frantically hops about MJ as she casually strolls back down the Corridor as eD hops around her. Tate comeswalking past and can’t help but turn back and gawp at MJ’s buttocks, Old Lady Levene responds to this with a frown, a shake of the head, and then as Tate approaches a quick clip round the ear...]
Old Lady Levene – ‘Mark my words, women like that are just trouble...you need to find yourself a nice girl, like Chinatsu...women like that Mary-Hoanna are just disasters waiting to happen...’
[And with that the scene fades out]
Later that day
[The carpets are well worn, with the centre section almost showing no pattern whatsoever, the walls are white but towards the bottom are covered in black scuff marking from the kicking of shoes. The corridor is lined with four doors to separate rooms, and then a staircase leading up to another floor. In the middle of the hall stands GIW’s Unified Global Champion, Travis Roberts. Standing next to him is a short woman, in her fifties, with curly black hair, and rosy red cheeks. She looks up at travis whilst fiddling with her hands.]
Mrs Toodlesnappin – ‘Gee, I sure hope you can help Mr Roberts, this is little Clayton’s fourteenth home in 3 years, his ma and pa were taken from him by the drugs...’
[Mrs Toodlesnappin looks up at Travis, full of hope, but Travis doesn’t say a word]
Mrs Toodlesnappin – ‘I sure am ever so appreciative that you came down here, I know we’re not exactly a registered charity, but a friend suggested I rang your agent, he said you sure did a good job of cheering them blighters up at the children’s ward of the hospital...’
Travis – ‘Sure, ‘The Headliner’ didn’t have anything better to do...’
Mrs Toodlesnappin – ‘I’m sure thats not true, but I am mighty thankful you came, maybe you can stop Clayton acting up, no-one else seems to be able to...he set a cat on fire last week...’
[Travis visibly tries to hold back a smirk, but it’s clear this Foster Mother is not focused on ‘The Headliners’ reactions...]
Mrs Toodlesnappin – ‘You see I know he likes the wrestling, and I asked who could talk to him from the GIW...and he said you, and I knew it was a long shot....but you’re here...’
Travis – ‘Is this his room...’
Mrs Toodlesnappin – ‘Yes...would you like to go in...*knocks on door*...Clayton, someone’s here to see you...’
[From beyond the door comes a reply]
Clayton – ‘Tell them to go fuck themselves, I ain’t talking to another shrink, fuck off!’
[Travis takes hold of the handle and walks into the room, he closes the door behind him as Mrs Toodlesnappin crosses her fingers. Before looking around Travis speaks]
Travis – ‘Travis Roberts is here, so what do you wanna do Kid? Apparently leaving mucus in ‘The Blessed Ones’ hair is a popular theme...’
Clayton – ‘What the fuck you doin’ here...’
Travis – ‘They....told....’The Blessed One’....you...wanted to...see him...’
[Travis’ speech slows during his reply and each word struggles to escape from his mouth, as he finally takes a look around the room. His face expresses some confusion, and he even removes his Trademark aviators from his face as he looks around the walls...
All four walls, covered from top to bottom with action shots, magazine covers, advertising banners and even cardboard cut outs adorn every inch of the wall space, and they all feature just one man, Randy BoolZian...]
Clayton – ‘Shit! I only told ‘em ‘dat cause I knew you wouldn’t come...’
Travis – ‘They....had to ask you who your favourite was?’
[Clayton remains seated on his bed as we see him for the first time, a young boy, about fourteen years old, wearing a white wife beater vest, and some baggy ¾ length jeans. He shrugs and replies to Travis.]
Clayton – ‘And they all say I find it hard to grasp the simplest concepts, say my schoolwork needs to be better. Shit, one thing I’ve learned in the only qualification you need to take care of kids is a house!’
Travis – ‘But...why didn’t you ask for BoolZ?’
Clayton – ‘’Cause I thought he might actually show up, and try and help me, I’m not a kid from the movies, I know what I’m doing, and don’t need no fucking pep talk...that’s why I chose you, your far too self involved to care about some kid...’
Travis – ‘True...but regardless here ‘The Blessed One’ is...’
Clayton – ‘Yeah...and? I know you ain’t gonna try and preach shit to me. How the fuck can you lecture me on doing the right thing...’
Travis – ‘’The Headliner’ wasn’t planning too, most kids just wanna climb all over ‘The Blessed One’...frankly it’s disconcerting...’
Clayton – ‘I don’t like climbing...I can shoot you in the crotch with a BB gun if you want?’
Travis – ‘Why would Travis Roberts want that? Why would you wanna do that...’
Clayton – ‘I don’t need a cunting reason, you think I care what I do? My parents are dead motherfucker! No-one fucking cares what I do, what I become. If I become too much of a problem they just ship me off to another shit hole. None of them are any different, all full of whining bitches who miss mommy and daddy. Not me, I don’t need them, they were fucking useless anyway, too worried about where their next hit was coming from, no-one is ever around me, I’m used to it, people are just fuck ups. I’m better off alone...’
Travis – ‘Don’t need to convince ‘The Headliner’, Travis Roberts never pretended to be a child psychologist, you must get lonely, ‘The Blessed One’ knows that feeling, and knows well that you don’t want someone poking their nose in...’
Clayton – ‘Shit dude, you ain’t lonely? You always got peeps following you and shit, try not knowing anyone, anywhere, that’s fucking lonely, cunt monkey!’
Travis – ‘Kid, you know as well as ‘The Headliner’ does, that people don’t stop loneliness...there’s more to being truly lonely. ‘The Blessed One’ doesn’t pretend to know the exact same loneliness you’re experiencing, but ‘The Highest Standard in GIW’ knows all too well what it’s like...’
Clayton – ‘Fuck you! Did your parents die? Fucking prick...’
Travis – ‘Little Dude, your parents death isn’t why you’re lonely...’
Clayton – ‘Fuck you man, next you’ll start telling me not to blame myself like all those other fuckwits!’
Travis – ‘You are lonely, because you have no-one that understands you, no one that can relate to you, you feel like an alien, like an outsider...’
Clayton – ‘Fuck You Pussy!’
[Though Clayton’s response is harsh and abusive, its visible Travis has struck a nerve, and he continues]
Travis – ‘OK we won’t talk about you, suits Travis Roberts fine. You wanna know why ‘The Headliner’ is lonely?’
Clayton – ‘Not that I give a flying wombat fuck, but that’s pretty obvious douchebag, you miss your boyfriend Declan...boo fucking hoo...’
Travis – ‘That’s part of it, but it’s not solely that. ‘The Headliner’ is surrounded by people, but yet walks the GIW halls on a Sunday night, as the other workers swarm around, and ‘The Blessed One’ feels nothing, ‘The Highest Standard in GIW’ feels...it’s difficult to explain...Travis will use this weekend as an example...
On Sunday night ‘The Headliner’ will step into the ring with 5 other GIW superstars and be surrounded by countless officials and thousands of fans, but ‘The Blessed One’ will feel alone. You see, none of them, no member of the audience, and certainly none of the other athletes can relate to ‘The Headliner’. No individual on ‘The TWiSTeD Icons’ team, or on his opponents, can claim to appreciate the life ‘The Most Influential Icon in Sports Entertainment’ this millennia has to lead. Not one of them has come close to experiencing the weight of expectation that comes with being the ‘Highest Standard in GIW’.
Of the five people who will enter the roped battleground, three of them have designs upon the Unified Global Championship that adorns 'The Headliners' waist. Whilst each of the trio are equally talented in their own right, not one of them is aware of what they are hoping to happen to them. By becoming the Flag Bearer for this company, massive expectations lie firmly on your shoulders, you must carry the show each week, you must ensure that it is clear that you are the best.
Sure Gabrielle can claim she has beaten 'The Blessed One' on two occasions recently, but can she claim to know what it's like to be a true champion? Not a second tier, derogatory gender specific title, a true Championship. The closest she ever came was being declared Chief Nigga, but she quickly sacrificed that title for the love of her man. A true champion finds a way to keep both...
Of the three, each of them make fantastic number one contender, contenders, but not one of them truly stands out as having the ability to take the weight of an entire company on their shoulders. Not one of them can claim to have the experience of being, week in, week out; the very best a company had to offer its fans. Yet Clayton, these people, are 'The Headliners’ peers, these are the people who have the most appreciation for what 'The Blessed One' experiences every day. Gabrielle is preparing herself for the biggest match of her career at No Holds Barred, Dredd and Hastings both anticipate the chance to have the greatest match of their career's alongside 'The TWiSTeD Icon' after their encounter in Japan. They are under a great amount of pressure to perform, as Unified Global CHampion that pressure only gets greater, each and every day you hold that gold. And there is no-one...no-one who understands me...'
Clayton - 'I call Bullshit! Ezekiel can relate, he's all on his own, and he had to carry the entire Tag Division with that jap...'
Travis - 'Zeke and 'The Blessed One' are two very different beings. 'The Red Eyed Wonder' is of a very different nature than Travis, you'd think the dude was a speed freak the way he egts worked up about stuff. Sure the kids alone, but it's about time he was, dude needed to get up and prove himself without the other two. Sure, they were close, you pick yourself up and get on with it, and if a freaky guy with a mask comes along...try crossing the road, certainly try anything you can to avoid hearing his mad ramblings, and especially don't let them affect you. Dude just needs to take a few moments out to relax and go to his happy place. Besides, the dudes not lonely like Travis Roberts, there are plenty of dark and affected types around GIW, and they flock to us like moths to a flame...
And 'The Headliner' imagines as he's covered the other four guys he should talk about Tobias. To be fair to the lumbering manchild of Mary-Joanna's secret laboratory, he is indeed a rare person. there are very few people who could convince Travis Roberts that Randy Boolzian needs to be allowed back in the ring. But unfortunately for Tobias he is not alone in the GIW locker room, there are others that make 'the Headliner' surprisingly hope for the return of the 'Red Bull Icon'. Seeing a kid with such potential turn into eD cASe Jnr is a worrying sight, from two time Unified Global Championship challenger, to a Whore's personal assistant, in less than a month. Anyone else with design's on 'The Headliners' Championship may wanna bear that in mind...
But despite the success, 'The Blessed One' is lonely, and maybe it's Travis' own fault. For years 'The Blessed One' has been obsessed with winning by any means, he has neglected to see that it has destroyed any chance of him finding a true peer. 'The TWiSTeD Icon' thought helping others would make him feel better; in truth it's just covered him in unknown bacteria. But maybe you're right Clayton, maybe people are just fuck ups, maybe we are better off alone...'
Clayton - 'Uh...yeah, course I'm right...Fuck yeah!'
[Clayton doesn't look overly convinced despite the curse words, however Travis places his Aviators back on his face and heads for the door. As he places his hand on the handle he pauses, then turns back...]
Travis - 'I'm glad we spoke...'
[And with that Travis pulls down on the handle and the door to the room and the scene fades out]
Even later that day
[We see Travis Roberts walking from the car park to the arena, the sun is setting and his shadow dances in front of him. As he approaches the door to the arena, he notices Randy Boolzian leanign against the wall, he stops and turns to him]
Travis - 'Randy.'
Randy - 'Travis.'
Travis - 'Got a light?'
[Randy looks at Travis at first with distrust, but as 'The Headliner' reaches into his top pocket and takes out a pre-rolled, the 'Red Bull icon' flicks open his trademark Zippo Lighter and offers 'The Headliner' the flame. Travis takes it willingly and drags hard, and exhales into the air....]
Travis - 'So 'The Blessed One' met a kid...you might wanna go see him...'
[And with that Travis voice fades out as does the image of the Unified Global Champion and Randy Boolzian and finally, it all ends]
Tate – ‘Yes...yes...Of course...No really, this isn’t a joke, he really will be there....Mr Roberts takes the plight of underprivileged children very seriously....yes...yes...I’m sure Travis would have a few moments to meet him...seriously, he’ll be there, chill!....I know it doesn’t sound like him, but the last week or so he’s been on a real charity kick...OK, we’ll see you then...Bye Mrs Toodlesnappin!’
[Tate raises his empty hand to the Bluetooth headset and pushes the button to end the call, at the same time the restraint of a five minute phone call is discarded, and he forces the other hand, containing the pretzel, rapidly towards his mouth. For those familiar with the antics of ‘Fatty McFat Fat’ what happens next should not be a surprise. Having removed his free hand from its crucial task of balancing his enormous frame atop his skateboard, and also making a rapid movement with his food filled hand, Tate seriously misjudges the fundamental rules of physics, and ends up almost punching himself in the face as he falls backwards violently, as the board escapes from underneath him. Our attention though is torn from the, frankly, highly entertaining sight of a fat kid trying to right himself, by a familiar voice.]
Mary-Joanna – ‘Look eDison, his new agent has fallen once more, do be a good little...thing and help him up. MJ has things she wishes to discuss with Travis in private...’
[Mary-Joanna barley gives Tate a passing glance as she makes the comments, and then struts off in her pinstriped trouser suit towards Travis’ locker room. eD looks down at Tate and sighs, offering Triple McF his furry, spongy hand. Tate waves his hand symbolising his will to do do this for himself. He then puts one finger up to suggest it will take him a moment, he them lies flat on the floor and reaches into a pocket, and pulls out his inhaler. After a suitably long drag on his breathing aid, he begins to wiggle his legs rapidly, and then begins rocking from side to side, until his momentum is at a full, he then uses the momentum, to somehow propel him into a vertical position. He then takes another breath on his inhaler and smiles at eD, who just looks on stunned by the performance he has just witnessed. Without a sign of shame or embarrassment Tate begins the conversation ]
Tate – ‘Hey man! Howya doin’!’
eD – ‘Fine...I guess...you know the deal, our job is a thankless one...’
Tate – ‘Nah man, I love my job....’
eD – ‘Sorry, yes, I forgot, Travis actually treats you with some humility...’
tate – ‘I don’t even know what that means...but Travis treats me pretty good. Ooooh yeah! I actually wanted to talk to you...’
eD – ‘Look, I still have no idea when the canteen is going to provide bigger plates...’
Tate – ‘Nah! It’s not about that...but could ya ask Obese Tony again, the man intimidates me, he’s so successful I’m not sure I could look him in the eye, and his food is to die for...his strawberry cheesecakes...mmmmmmm’
[Tate’s eyes glaze over and he stares fixedly into the middle distance. eD awaits the completion of the sentence for around thirty seconds, when Fatty McFat Fat begins to drool however, eD sighs and interrupts the heavy set young man’s waking fantasy...]
eD – ‘Ahem!...’
Tate – ‘Cream....What?....Hmmm...Oh yeah....’
eD – ‘What was it you wanted to talk to me about?’
Tate – ‘Well it was about Travis really, was wondering if you could tell me what charity work he used to do with you? Whether he had any favourites?’
eD – ‘Charities? I know he had a subscription to the ‘High Times’, but despite his insistence that it should be counted as charitable contributions, the accountant never bought that at the end of the tax year....’
Tate – ‘Not to give money to, to visit...’
eD – ‘Visit? Charities? Travis?...I’d cancel any arrangements you have made, you are making a huge mistake on so many levels...’
Tate – ‘But Travis asked me to...and...’
eD – ‘Travis...the needy and unfortunate...together....my god, make some excuse....you simply cannot allow that to happen. Especially with increased scrutiny the GIW product is under at the moment...it could be catastrophic...seriously...Old Testament, God of Wrath type stuff! Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies!...Rivers and sea’s boiling!....Forty years of darkness!...Earthquakes!...Volcanoes!...The Dead Rising from the grave...Human Sacrifice! Dogs and Cats living together!...MASS HSYTERIA!’
[eD’s usually yellow complexion seems to have turned, at least around his face, a bright orange, he is short of breath and his eyes dart around the corridor, almost on the verge of a seizure. Tate looks at him with a deadpan face]
Tate – ‘Um...we’ve already visited three this week...’
eD – ‘THREE!?!?!?...How in the name of TWiSTeD are we all still here?’
Tate – ‘It all went pretty smoothly actually. He did some work for the ‘Make a Wish Foundation’ and those poor kids, they had the time of their lives, climbing all over him, pulling his hair, pretending to pin him...’
eD – ‘Seriously...let me get this straight...Travis Roberts...Six Foot Two, long black hair, Unified Global Champion....willingly let terminally ill, and by that I mean dying, children touch him?’
Tate – ‘Yeah, it’s not so strange, deep down the guys nice...you know that, he does have a heart beneath the bravado...’
eD – ‘Are you sure you haven’t been eating Travis’ brownies every day?’
Tate – ‘Seriously? You think he’d let me near them? What’s so hard to believe about all this...it really happened, this isn’t a joke. I keep telling people that...’
[eD looks at Tate and can tell the Chubby Little Funster is telling the gods honest truth. eD’s furry brow creases up, and his big bushy eyebrows dart downwards as he thinks for a moment, raising his hand to his chin and stroking it, as if a beard had magically sprung from there...]
eD – ‘Hmmm, something must be wrong, this isn’t Travis...I have to get to the bottom of this...have you noticed anything unusual in his behaviour recently?’
Tate – ‘Ummmm...he does spend a lot of time in the shower, after the events...’
[At this moment eD’s phone begins to ring, and he quickly answers it, but before he can even get a word out we can hear the caller on the other end of the line]
Boss P – ‘WHERE DA HELL JU AT?!? SHIT NIGGA I HAD TO ANSWER MY OWN DAMN PHONE, DIS SHIT JUST AIN’T ON, CAN’T HAVE YOUR YELLOW ASS RUNNING AROUND WID DAT SKANK ALL DAY IF YO’ AIN’T AROUND TO ANSWER BOSS P’S PHONE YA HEAR?
AND SHIT NIGLET, WAS ‘DIS JOURNO BROAD ON DA’ OTHER END, ASKING ME QUESTIONS ABOUT SOME DAMASCUS NIGLET BEING BANNED FROM DA’ INDEPENDANT FEDS. DA BITCH WAS ASKING IF GIW WOULD FOLLOW SUIT AND BAN DIS’ NIGLET TO SHOW WE IS SERIOUS ABOUT CLEANING UP OUR ACT!’
eD – ‘And what, did you say?’
Boss P – ’DA FUCK YO THINK I SAID? I ASKED WHY WOULD WE TAKE IT UPON OUR ASSES TO BAN DA CAPITAL CITY OF SYRIA? TALK ABOU DISCRIMINATION AND SHIT...WHAT DA FUCK DID ’DEY DO?’
eD – ‘Really?’
Boss P – ’DAMN STRAIGHT! DAT BITCH SOUNDED REAL PLEASED AS WELL, WHO DA FUCK NEEDS PRESS SECRETARIES AND SHIT...’
eD – ‘Oh shi...I’ll go and get MJ...don’t take anymore phonecalls...’
[eD hangs up the call, and looks down the hallway, where we can see MJ in the distance standing outside Travis’ locker room, he then turns back to Tate]
eD – ‘Thanks for the catch up....I gotta go, we could have a PR nightmare on our hands...’
[And with that eD takes off down the hall towards Mary-Joanna. We then travel a few moments back in time, and see Mary-Joanna confidently striding away from eD, and the wobbling Tate, who is now, once again on the floor. Her designer suit, fits perfectly against the lines of her body as she approaches the door to Travis’ locker room and knocks. After a moment the door opens, and Mary-Jo isn’t expecting the sight she sees and is taken aback somewhat, by the appearance of Old Lady Levene...]
Old Lady Levene – ‘Can I help?’
Mary-Jo – ‘Whilst it is true that no other lover could replace the voice that the ‘TWiSteD Heiress’ left in Travis’ life, and the fact that Mary-Joanna always knew he’d suffer some problems adjusting...MJ never expected this...’
Old Lady Levene – ‘So you’re the infamous Mary-Joanna, I’m not quite sure what you are implying, but from what I have heard it’s most likely to be utter filth...’
Mary-Jo – ‘Now now! You’ve only just met MJ, how can you make such swift judgements. ‘The TWiSTeD Matriach’ isn’t surprised, but jealousy from a woman of your age is not attractive...’
Old Lady Levene – ‘I refrained from being attractive in the 1980’s my dear. All the attention it garners is unbecoming.’
Mary-Jo – ‘As much as MJ would love to reminisce with you about memories of beating off the Redcoats, she came here with a purpose. Mary-Joanna would like to see her husband...’
Old Lady Levene – ‘I’m afraid that won’t be possible, he is out at the moment.’
Mary-Jo – ‘Out? He’s not in the gym, and he spends all his time in this damn arena since Declan left him, where the hell has he gone? Did that fat retard forget his rolling papers or something?’
Old Lady Levene – ‘Travis is doing some charitable work, and for your information that ‘retard’ is my grandson...’
Mary-Jo – ‘Your grandchild? This keeps getting weirder. But as perplexing as the company MJ’s Husbands current keeps, Mary-Joanna is more confused by the mention of charitable work in the same sentence as the name Travis....maybe we are confusing two people...the Travis MJ is speaking of is around 6’2”, handsome in that bastard kind of way, and most importantly he is young....ish...and certainly doesn’t do charitable work...’
Old Lady Levene – ‘I know very well who Travis Roberts is, and I would be grateful if you didn’t take that tone with me. You may think everyone is impressed with you, but I’ll tell you this for free young lady, I can see right through you. And in just a few moments of being around you, it gives me a greater insight into why Travis is how he is is...’
Mary-Jo – ‘MJ cannot take all the credit, but a fair amount. However, Mary-Joanna is still perplexed as to why he’s doing charitable work...and hasn’t informed the press office? ‘The TWiSTeD Matriarch’ knows Travis too well, her husband would never do something that had no personal gain for himself...something must be wrong....’
Old Lady Levene – ‘Maybe you just don’t know Travis as well as you thought you did. Maybe you misjudged him for so long, maybe you were taken in by it all, and missed the fact he’s not an arrogant monster...’
Mary-Jo – ‘And maybe your grandson could make the Olympic Sprinting Team for London 2012...some things wrong...’
Old Lady Levene – ‘I’ve seen women like you before my dear, I know exactly whats going on in that head of yours. But before you go through with whatever putrid thoughts are crossing your mind, heed my words. Women like you...people like you...end up alone, and unhappy, their only thrill is in others discomfort and finding ways to exploit it....but when your joints start to ache, and when your brain starts to slow, there will be no-one...and you’ll have no one to blame but yourself.’
[MJ looks down at Old Lady Levene as if she wasn’t even remotely aware of the woman’s presence, she raises her eyebrows, and pulls a fake, hollow smile...]
Mary – Jo – ‘MJ is sorry....were you saying something? Mary-Joanna was off in her own little world there, but despite the age difference, ‘The TWiSteD Matriach’ can see a spark in you, that could stretch to a dubious reason for MJ’s husband sleeping with you...’
[Old Lady Levene’s eyes almost pop out of her skull as her jaw flaps around for a few moments, obviously enraged and insulted by what MJ has just said.]
Old Lady Levene – ‘Never in my life have I been so insulted, not since someone suggested I buy a Japanese car has someone affronted me so much. Sleeping together? I’ll have you know...’
[Before Old Lady Tate can continue, she is interrupted as the flailing limbs of eD cASe come hurtling towards the ladies, screaming at the top of his lungs]
eD – ‘FORGET TRAVIS, WE GOT PROBLEMS!’
[MJ causally turns to Old Lady Levene, as if she hadn’t said a single word before hand, and bids her farewell]
Mary-Jo – ‘Must dash, it was wonderful meeting you, try not to wear my husband out, toodles...’
[And with that eD frantically hops about MJ as she casually strolls back down the Corridor as eD hops around her. Tate comeswalking past and can’t help but turn back and gawp at MJ’s buttocks, Old Lady Levene responds to this with a frown, a shake of the head, and then as Tate approaches a quick clip round the ear...]
Old Lady Levene – ‘Mark my words, women like that are just trouble...you need to find yourself a nice girl, like Chinatsu...women like that Mary-Hoanna are just disasters waiting to happen...’
[And with that the scene fades out]
Later that day
[The carpets are well worn, with the centre section almost showing no pattern whatsoever, the walls are white but towards the bottom are covered in black scuff marking from the kicking of shoes. The corridor is lined with four doors to separate rooms, and then a staircase leading up to another floor. In the middle of the hall stands GIW’s Unified Global Champion, Travis Roberts. Standing next to him is a short woman, in her fifties, with curly black hair, and rosy red cheeks. She looks up at travis whilst fiddling with her hands.]
Mrs Toodlesnappin – ‘Gee, I sure hope you can help Mr Roberts, this is little Clayton’s fourteenth home in 3 years, his ma and pa were taken from him by the drugs...’
[Mrs Toodlesnappin looks up at Travis, full of hope, but Travis doesn’t say a word]
Mrs Toodlesnappin – ‘I sure am ever so appreciative that you came down here, I know we’re not exactly a registered charity, but a friend suggested I rang your agent, he said you sure did a good job of cheering them blighters up at the children’s ward of the hospital...’
Travis – ‘Sure, ‘The Headliner’ didn’t have anything better to do...’
Mrs Toodlesnappin – ‘I’m sure thats not true, but I am mighty thankful you came, maybe you can stop Clayton acting up, no-one else seems to be able to...he set a cat on fire last week...’
[Travis visibly tries to hold back a smirk, but it’s clear this Foster Mother is not focused on ‘The Headliners’ reactions...]
Mrs Toodlesnappin – ‘You see I know he likes the wrestling, and I asked who could talk to him from the GIW...and he said you, and I knew it was a long shot....but you’re here...’
Travis – ‘Is this his room...’
Mrs Toodlesnappin – ‘Yes...would you like to go in...*knocks on door*...Clayton, someone’s here to see you...’
[From beyond the door comes a reply]
Clayton – ‘Tell them to go fuck themselves, I ain’t talking to another shrink, fuck off!’
[Travis takes hold of the handle and walks into the room, he closes the door behind him as Mrs Toodlesnappin crosses her fingers. Before looking around Travis speaks]
Travis – ‘Travis Roberts is here, so what do you wanna do Kid? Apparently leaving mucus in ‘The Blessed Ones’ hair is a popular theme...’
Clayton – ‘What the fuck you doin’ here...’
Travis – ‘They....told....’The Blessed One’....you...wanted to...see him...’
[Travis’ speech slows during his reply and each word struggles to escape from his mouth, as he finally takes a look around the room. His face expresses some confusion, and he even removes his Trademark aviators from his face as he looks around the walls...
All four walls, covered from top to bottom with action shots, magazine covers, advertising banners and even cardboard cut outs adorn every inch of the wall space, and they all feature just one man, Randy BoolZian...]
Clayton – ‘Shit! I only told ‘em ‘dat cause I knew you wouldn’t come...’
Travis – ‘They....had to ask you who your favourite was?’
[Clayton remains seated on his bed as we see him for the first time, a young boy, about fourteen years old, wearing a white wife beater vest, and some baggy ¾ length jeans. He shrugs and replies to Travis.]
Clayton – ‘And they all say I find it hard to grasp the simplest concepts, say my schoolwork needs to be better. Shit, one thing I’ve learned in the only qualification you need to take care of kids is a house!’
Travis – ‘But...why didn’t you ask for BoolZ?’
Clayton – ‘’Cause I thought he might actually show up, and try and help me, I’m not a kid from the movies, I know what I’m doing, and don’t need no fucking pep talk...that’s why I chose you, your far too self involved to care about some kid...’
Travis – ‘True...but regardless here ‘The Blessed One’ is...’
Clayton – ‘Yeah...and? I know you ain’t gonna try and preach shit to me. How the fuck can you lecture me on doing the right thing...’
Travis – ‘’The Headliner’ wasn’t planning too, most kids just wanna climb all over ‘The Blessed One’...frankly it’s disconcerting...’
Clayton – ‘I don’t like climbing...I can shoot you in the crotch with a BB gun if you want?’
Travis – ‘Why would Travis Roberts want that? Why would you wanna do that...’
Clayton – ‘I don’t need a cunting reason, you think I care what I do? My parents are dead motherfucker! No-one fucking cares what I do, what I become. If I become too much of a problem they just ship me off to another shit hole. None of them are any different, all full of whining bitches who miss mommy and daddy. Not me, I don’t need them, they were fucking useless anyway, too worried about where their next hit was coming from, no-one is ever around me, I’m used to it, people are just fuck ups. I’m better off alone...’
Travis – ‘Don’t need to convince ‘The Headliner’, Travis Roberts never pretended to be a child psychologist, you must get lonely, ‘The Blessed One’ knows that feeling, and knows well that you don’t want someone poking their nose in...’
Clayton – ‘Shit dude, you ain’t lonely? You always got peeps following you and shit, try not knowing anyone, anywhere, that’s fucking lonely, cunt monkey!’
Travis – ‘Kid, you know as well as ‘The Headliner’ does, that people don’t stop loneliness...there’s more to being truly lonely. ‘The Blessed One’ doesn’t pretend to know the exact same loneliness you’re experiencing, but ‘The Highest Standard in GIW’ knows all too well what it’s like...’
Clayton – ‘Fuck you! Did your parents die? Fucking prick...’
Travis – ‘Little Dude, your parents death isn’t why you’re lonely...’
Clayton – ‘Fuck you man, next you’ll start telling me not to blame myself like all those other fuckwits!’
Travis – ‘You are lonely, because you have no-one that understands you, no one that can relate to you, you feel like an alien, like an outsider...’
Clayton – ‘Fuck You Pussy!’
[Though Clayton’s response is harsh and abusive, its visible Travis has struck a nerve, and he continues]
Travis – ‘OK we won’t talk about you, suits Travis Roberts fine. You wanna know why ‘The Headliner’ is lonely?’
Clayton – ‘Not that I give a flying wombat fuck, but that’s pretty obvious douchebag, you miss your boyfriend Declan...boo fucking hoo...’
Travis – ‘That’s part of it, but it’s not solely that. ‘The Headliner’ is surrounded by people, but yet walks the GIW halls on a Sunday night, as the other workers swarm around, and ‘The Blessed One’ feels nothing, ‘The Highest Standard in GIW’ feels...it’s difficult to explain...Travis will use this weekend as an example...
On Sunday night ‘The Headliner’ will step into the ring with 5 other GIW superstars and be surrounded by countless officials and thousands of fans, but ‘The Blessed One’ will feel alone. You see, none of them, no member of the audience, and certainly none of the other athletes can relate to ‘The Headliner’. No individual on ‘The TWiSTeD Icons’ team, or on his opponents, can claim to appreciate the life ‘The Most Influential Icon in Sports Entertainment’ this millennia has to lead. Not one of them has come close to experiencing the weight of expectation that comes with being the ‘Highest Standard in GIW’.
Of the five people who will enter the roped battleground, three of them have designs upon the Unified Global Championship that adorns 'The Headliners' waist. Whilst each of the trio are equally talented in their own right, not one of them is aware of what they are hoping to happen to them. By becoming the Flag Bearer for this company, massive expectations lie firmly on your shoulders, you must carry the show each week, you must ensure that it is clear that you are the best.
Sure Gabrielle can claim she has beaten 'The Blessed One' on two occasions recently, but can she claim to know what it's like to be a true champion? Not a second tier, derogatory gender specific title, a true Championship. The closest she ever came was being declared Chief Nigga, but she quickly sacrificed that title for the love of her man. A true champion finds a way to keep both...
Of the three, each of them make fantastic number one contender, contenders, but not one of them truly stands out as having the ability to take the weight of an entire company on their shoulders. Not one of them can claim to have the experience of being, week in, week out; the very best a company had to offer its fans. Yet Clayton, these people, are 'The Headliners’ peers, these are the people who have the most appreciation for what 'The Blessed One' experiences every day. Gabrielle is preparing herself for the biggest match of her career at No Holds Barred, Dredd and Hastings both anticipate the chance to have the greatest match of their career's alongside 'The TWiSTeD Icon' after their encounter in Japan. They are under a great amount of pressure to perform, as Unified Global CHampion that pressure only gets greater, each and every day you hold that gold. And there is no-one...no-one who understands me...'
Clayton - 'I call Bullshit! Ezekiel can relate, he's all on his own, and he had to carry the entire Tag Division with that jap...'
Travis - 'Zeke and 'The Blessed One' are two very different beings. 'The Red Eyed Wonder' is of a very different nature than Travis, you'd think the dude was a speed freak the way he egts worked up about stuff. Sure the kids alone, but it's about time he was, dude needed to get up and prove himself without the other two. Sure, they were close, you pick yourself up and get on with it, and if a freaky guy with a mask comes along...try crossing the road, certainly try anything you can to avoid hearing his mad ramblings, and especially don't let them affect you. Dude just needs to take a few moments out to relax and go to his happy place. Besides, the dudes not lonely like Travis Roberts, there are plenty of dark and affected types around GIW, and they flock to us like moths to a flame...
And 'The Headliner' imagines as he's covered the other four guys he should talk about Tobias. To be fair to the lumbering manchild of Mary-Joanna's secret laboratory, he is indeed a rare person. there are very few people who could convince Travis Roberts that Randy Boolzian needs to be allowed back in the ring. But unfortunately for Tobias he is not alone in the GIW locker room, there are others that make 'the Headliner' surprisingly hope for the return of the 'Red Bull Icon'. Seeing a kid with such potential turn into eD cASe Jnr is a worrying sight, from two time Unified Global Championship challenger, to a Whore's personal assistant, in less than a month. Anyone else with design's on 'The Headliners' Championship may wanna bear that in mind...
But despite the success, 'The Blessed One' is lonely, and maybe it's Travis' own fault. For years 'The Blessed One' has been obsessed with winning by any means, he has neglected to see that it has destroyed any chance of him finding a true peer. 'The TWiSTeD Icon' thought helping others would make him feel better; in truth it's just covered him in unknown bacteria. But maybe you're right Clayton, maybe people are just fuck ups, maybe we are better off alone...'
Clayton - 'Uh...yeah, course I'm right...Fuck yeah!'
[Clayton doesn't look overly convinced despite the curse words, however Travis places his Aviators back on his face and heads for the door. As he places his hand on the handle he pauses, then turns back...]
Travis - 'I'm glad we spoke...'
[And with that Travis pulls down on the handle and the door to the room and the scene fades out]
Even later that day
[We see Travis Roberts walking from the car park to the arena, the sun is setting and his shadow dances in front of him. As he approaches the door to the arena, he notices Randy Boolzian leanign against the wall, he stops and turns to him]
Travis - 'Randy.'
Randy - 'Travis.'
Travis - 'Got a light?'
[Randy looks at Travis at first with distrust, but as 'The Headliner' reaches into his top pocket and takes out a pre-rolled, the 'Red Bull icon' flicks open his trademark Zippo Lighter and offers 'The Headliner' the flame. Travis takes it willingly and drags hard, and exhales into the air....]
Travis - 'So 'The Blessed One' met a kid...you might wanna go see him...'
[And with that Travis voice fades out as does the image of the Unified Global Champion and Randy Boolzian and finally, it all ends]
