Synergy #41 Results - June 27, 2011

[Lord Hastings]

Vinegar: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to UGWC Synergy!

Covert Jay: HUTTAH!

Lieberjosch: Three weeks away from In Your Hands, and the card is beginning to come together.

Vinegar: And fan voting will begin following our broadcast tonight, and will continue over the next few weeks leading up to the event.

Covert Jay: So to get to that, we've got to get through the show! Hop to it!

"Given to fly" by Pearl Jam hits as Enigma appears hanging from the rafters, wearing the CWA world title. As Eddie Vedder sings the line "He's flying", Enigma jumps off as if on que and soars around the ring due to the fact that he is attatched to a guy wire which allows him to gradually soar to a turnbuckle. As soon as he lands, he detatches the wire and allows it to accend as he unhooks the title from his waist and holds it up for the crowd as cameras start going off everywhere. He then jumps down and rolls his neck before awaiting the start of the match.

Dennis: The following Triple Threat match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, currently residing in Manchester City, England, weighing in at 202 lbs, he is Down Under's Best High Flyer, EEEEEEEEEENIGMAA!!!

Vinegar: Enigma put in a hell of an effort last week against the Natural Born Killer, we nearly had a new Chaos Champion.

Lieberjosch: It was another great match marred by the horrific refereeing by Owen Peterson.

Vinegar: Owen Peterson is not scheduled to be here tonight, we understand he requested the week off, but we will see his grandson, Chris Peterson, in action a little later on!

The arena gets loud and the lights darken, Come Again by Staind begins to play as soon as the first note hits Robert appears, fireworks begin to blaze left and right he begins to walk down the ramp very swiftly the spotlight following him along the way, making his way to the ring waving at fans and putting out his hand for the fans to touch, he jumps into the ring and the music stops.

Dennis: Introducing next, from Houston, Texas, weighing in at 235 lbs, The Fierce Warrior, ROBERT MONNNTANNNAAAAA!!!

Covert Jay: Dude's been quiet lately.

Lieberjosch: I think a lot of people were excited when he made his return, and have since been disappointed.

The tribal beat of Kanye West's "Power" reverberates through the arena, accompanied by pulsing strobes. The royal crest overtakes the tron screen as purple smoke rises from the entrance way. Prince Rudo slowly cuts through the smoke clad in a long coat. He stops at the top of the ramp, turns back towards the crest and slams his fist to his heart in salute. He then whips around with a flourish and stalks down the ramp, avoiding the outreached hands of the crowd as if they were lepers. He perches himself on the top turnbuckle and surveys the arena. He sheds his coat and waits on the buckle until the match begins.

Dennis: And their opponent, from the Darkness, weighing in at 205 lbs, the Lord of the Realm, PRINCE RUUUUDDOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Vinegar: Prince Rudo has certainly been impressive in the past few weeks since his debut.

Lieberjosch: He's off to a great start, we'll see if he can keep it going here tonight.

Vinegar: We've got all three competitors in the ring, it's time to get this match underway.

DING DING!

Vinegar: Hazel East the referee in charge, Rudo takes a step back, motioning for Enigma and Montana to start the action.

Lieberjosch: Enigma seems to take issue with it, but Montana has no problem, blindsiding Enigma and shoving him into a corner.

Vinegar: But Enigma reverses positions with him, repeated chops to the chest.

Covert Jay: Enigma backs off, lets Montana stagger out of the corner, and he dropkicks Montana to the outside!

Vinegar: Rudo charges and hits a double knee to the back of Enigma, stomps on him before pulling Enigma up and into a backbreaker.

Lieberjosch: Rudo tapping his head, reminding this crowd of his intelligence, which allowed him to get the early advantage here in this match.

Vinegar: Rudo pulling Enigma by the leg.

Covert Jay: But Enigma manages to get on his other leg, hits an Enziguri!

Vinegar: Enigma pushes Rudo onto his back, covers with a lateral press!





ONE!!!





Vinegar: Montana breaks up the cover!

Lieberjosch: Montana pulls Enigma up, whips him off the ropes.

Covert Jay: But Enigma comes back with a hurricarana that sends Montana sprawling right back out of the ring!

Vinegar: But before Enigma can turn his attention back to Rudo, Prince Rudo surprises him with a chop block.

Lieberjosch: Rudo with a front face choke.

Vinegar: Hazel East forces him to break it, Enigma stumbling away.

Lieberjosch: But Rudo delivers a bulldog that drives Enigma face first right into the middle turnbuckle!

Vinegar: Rudo drags Enigma back to the center of the ring, covers!





ONE!!!





Vinegar: Montana breaks up another cover!

Lieberjosch: Rudo to his feet, sidesteps a shuffle kick, and he slams into Montana with a hard clothesline that sends him back to the outside!

Covert Jay: He certainly is on the outside looking in at this one.

Vinegar: Rudo grabs hold of Enigma, pump handle!

Lieberjosch: Banishment!

Vinegar: Enigma floats off the back, hits the ropes!

Covert Jay: He leapfrogs Rudo into the FIRELIGHTER!!!

Vinegar: He hooks the leg!





ONE!!!





TWO!!!





Vinegar: Montana breaks up another cover!

Lieberjosch: He's pulling Enigma to his feet, but Enigma kicks him in the gut!

Covert Jay: HERE WE GO!!!

Vinegar: Enigma springboards off the middle rope!

Covert Jay: Rolls right into the FADER!!!!!

Lieberjosch: But Rudo catches Enigma with The Masterplan!!!!

Vinegar: Enigma knocked out of the ring, Rudo covers Montana!





ONE!!!





TWO!!!





THREE!!!!





Dennis: Here is your winner, PRINCE RUUUUUDDOOOOOO!!!!

Vinegar: Prince Rudo with another victory!

Lieberjosch: And he stands on the turnbuckle, tapping his head again, and he's telling the fans to bow to him, and after his performance here tonight, they certainly should!

Vinegar: Enigma rolling out of the ring while Rudo is keeping his gaze on the body of Robert Montana.

Lieberjosch: I head mistrust in your voice, Nicholas. The Lord of the Realm is making sure Robert is okay, that's all. Two episodes ago, I was wrong, but I have a good feeling about it this week.

Lieberjosch: Rudo turning his attention towards the ramp now, and clapping his hands. GOOD LORD!

Covert Jay: HERE THERE BE GIANTS!

Vinegar: The hugest man I may have ever seen is stomping down the ramp!

Lieberjosch: He's crossing by Enigma, who just stares up at him, as shocked as the rest of us.

Covert Jay: Take the money and run Jimmy!

Vinegar: He steps over the rope, he is easily over 7 feet tall. Robert Montana pulling himself up in the corner, Rudo pointing at him. That mountain of a man is approaching, this cannot end well.

Lieberjosch: Maybe this is just a social call, you can't possibly know otherwise yet.

Vinegar: Montana not waiting to find out, he's throwing punches at the thick midsection of the Giant.

Covert Jay: WORKING THE HEAVY BAG!

Vinegar: Now some kicks at the tree trunk like legs, Rudo is watching from the corner as the Giant falls to one knee.

Lieberjosch: He's still so tall that Montana can barely reach his head with those strikes!

Covert Jay: CLAP ON!

Vinegar: Rudo claps his hands, the Giant grabs Montana by the head! Those skillet sized hands are wrapped around Robert Montana's skull.

Lieberjosch: Head butt! That skull must be like a rock.

Vinegar: Enigma turning around at the top of the ramp, he's not the kind of person to leave another man defenseless like this, but more masked men restrain him. In the ring, the giant raising himself up to both feet now, another headbutt!

Lieberjosch: Look at the strength, he's lifting Montana off the ground to deliver a third headbutt! And the Fierce Warrior falls to the ground.

Vinegar: Prince Rudo now gesturing to the Giant again, who picks Montana off the ground by the arms, his nose is busted, blood is just streaming down his chin. Rudo grabbing his head.

Covert Jay: MASTERPLAN!

Vinegar: Rudo pulling the unconscious body of Robert Montana down onto his knee. The Giant leaves the ring but Rudo stays to peer at The Fierce Warrior.

Lieberjosch: He's staying until the medics arrive, Nicholas, I keep telling you he's not all that bad of a guy.

Vinegar: You're delusional. That was a sickening display.

Lieberjosch: I just cannot believe the size of that man. What do you think he is, Rudo's cousin or something?

Vinegar: Officials rushing to the ring now.

Covert Jay: Ever notice how they never show up until after the attack is finished?

Lieberjosch: The masked men holding Enigma back have disappeared, he's also coming down to check on Montana.

Vinegar: Be sure to check back on the front page for an update on the Fierce Warrior's condition as soon as it becomes available but we still have more action coming up.

[Lord Hastings]

The arena is buzzing. The lights drop and the tron blacks out. Smoke starts to fill the arena.

Vinegar: What the hell is this?!

Covert Jay: We have ninjas now!

Lieberjosch: I'm as lost as he is.

The PA system booms with a loud clap of thunder, and a voice comes over. "They're baaaaaaaaaack!!!" The opening riffs to AC/DC's "Shoot To Thrill" start to blare over the PA system, and the lights start going crazy!

Covert Jay: I may have a seizure from these lights.

Lieberjosch: Who's back? What the hell?? This isn't on the card or any of my notes.

Covert Jay: You have notes?

They start to flicker blue and red, when all of the sudden, a huge explosion goes off on the stage! As the smoke clears, two figures emerge from the smoke. They are wearing hoodies that zip, and have the hoods draped over their heads. The shadow from the hoods makes their faces unknown. Two two walk down the ramp, and climb into the ring.

Vinegar: I guess we'll find out who they are soon.

Covert Jay: A ninja never reveals their true identity!

The two walk over and request two microphones. The lights stop and all go white as the music dies down.

Man1: For the last several months...

Man2: This company has been disinteresting...

Man1: The programming has been pointless...

Man2: The matches have been dull...

Man1: But that is all about to change...

Both men lower their mics and pause for a moment. Camera flashes are flickering throughout the arena. The reach up for their hoods, and rip them back in a swift motion!

Lieberjosch: What the...?! I thought they were dead!

Vinegar: Apparently not!

Covert Jay: Nope, no ninjas, but cherry power is back!

Lieberjosch: It's Red Fusion and Code Red!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vinegar: I'm honestly shocked.

Covert Jay: !!!!!!!

The crowd explodes at the return of Code: Fusion!

Red Fusion: It's been a long time since we've been in this ring. A lot of things were going on when we were attacked by a few low life pieces of trash.

Code Red: We are back to get some payback and to bring this company back to the top. I have had a hard time watching, because the matches are ridiculous. True order has been restored to this place. But first thing is first..... JK.....you sorry son of a bitch. You and I, have some business to attend to. Consider this, my comeback match. I am calling you out, to any match, of your choosing, any time...anywhere. You wrote a check, now it's time to see if you can cash it.

The crowd explodes at this!

Vinegar: Wow! What a challenge! I guess payback is something people believe in, and we're going to see quite a bit of it in the coming weeks!

Red Fusion: Big 'Zeke... You took something from me. One day, I'll get it back. Congratulations on your upcoming World Title match, but you and I, have some unfinished business as well. I got myself into the mess. I faced the consequences that came along with it. But now, we need to find out who truly is the better man. So, I want to do this big. I am issuing a challenge to you, to see who truly is the better man. I'll be awaiting your answer, and you have a week to get back to me. If you don't, I'll find you myself, and we can settle it then. I'm sure you're not going to back out of the challenge.

The crowd goes insane at this challenge. The two men drop their mics as "Shoot To Thrill" plays again!

Lieberjosch: Good God! What a challenge!

Covert Jay: He is no Dragon Lord.

The team poses for the crowd, then climbs out of the ring and heads up the ramp.

[Lord Hastings]

Vinegar: We continue forward, here on Synergy!

Lieberjosch: And it is time for the first of two cooperative matches!

"Ripper" hits, and Donovan Hastings walks to the ring, his cloak flowing behind him.

Dennis: The following cooperative contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, being accompanied by Calypso Desmona, the Lord of Pain, DONOVAN HAAAAAASSSTINNGGGS!!!

Vinegar: Hastings entering the ring and having a conversation with referee Sam Green, the official assigned to this match.

Lieberjosch: He's reminding Green of the rules.

Vinegar: I think Sam Green knows the rules.

Lieberjosch: You can't be too careful these days, with officials the caliber of Owen Peterson running around.

Covert Jay: If I piss Hastings off, can I get time off too?

Lieberjosch: You can take off any week you want, that's fine by me.

Covert Jay: HUTTAH!

The lights flicker to green and gold as in the veins of death valley kicks in. JK walks through the curtain and out onto the entrance way, to a loud chorus of booing, which seems to be emulating JK sombre mood. JK looks up at the fans as he holds up an open hand, queing fireworks to go off in set locations around the arena. JK continues down to the ring, looking out upon the sea of former fans, with many in the front row not even holding their hands out. JK slides into the ring before climbing the turnbuckle and doing sigiture five finger pose.

Dennis: And his cooperative partner, The Cyclone, JAYYYY KAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

Vinegar: This will be an interesting partnership tonight, as neither JK nor Hastings particularly think much of the other.

Lieberjosch: Yes, but only one of the two has held our World Heavyweight Championship twice, not to mention main evented Horizons twice.

Quick Death begins to play, and Duncan Ryder walks out onto the ramp and poses. He swaggers down to the ring slowly so everyone can admire him. When he reaches the ring he climbs in up the steps and onto a turnbuckle. He poses for a moment before jumping down.

Dennis: And their opponents, introducing first, Dashing Duncan RYYYYYDERRRR!!!

Vinegar: A lot going on in this match, certainly one aspect is that Ryder will be staring across the ring at one of the men that will be challenging the Thames Valley Hit Squad at In Your Hands, JK.

Covert Jay: JK will be teaming with Marek Daisuke, and after our broadcast tonight the fans will be able to vote for the other team that will be challenging for the championships.

X Gon Give It To Ya, and Chris Peterson walks out onto the top of the ramp. He raises his arms above his head, crossing them into an X, then pointing them out diagonally. He strides down to the ring jogs up the ring steps and climbs in between the top and middle ropes.

Dennis: And his cooperative partner, CHRIS PEEEEEETERRRRRSONNNN!!!

Vinegar: Chris Peterson has certainly had his issues with Donovan Hastings, who now appears to be demonstrating something to Sam Green.

Lieberjosch: It's important to make sure that Green can do the five count for when he gets somebody in the ropes in a few minutes.

Vinegar: Chris Peterson staring a hole right through Hastings, as the Lord of Pain is now showing Green how to call for the bell to get the match started.

Lieberjosch: Well, we couldn't start without it.

DING DING!

Vinegar: I do think Sam Green knows how to start a match, looks like we'll get Duncan Ryder and Donovan Hastings starting this match off.

Lieberjosch: Hastings stepping out of the ropes, motioning JK into the ring.

Vinegar: Sam Green telling Hastings that he needs to tag.

Lieberjosch: Except that JK was meant to start the match, as the Lord is explaining to Green now.

Vinegar: Sam Green just throws his hands up and waves JK in, JK giving Hastings a bit of an annoyed glance as he enters the ring.

Lieberjosch: And walks smack into a right hand from Ryder!

Vinegar: Ryder backing JK up into the ropes with those right hands, whips him across the ring and knocks him down with a hard shoulder tackle.

Lieberjosch: Headlock takeover by Ryder, trying to get leverage on the Cyclone.

Vinegar: JK getting his feet underneath him, pushes out of the headlock.

Lieberjosch: But he comes off the ropes and runs right into a powerslam from Ryder!

Vinegar: Ryder pulls JK up, throws him into his team's corner, driving JK into the turnbuckle with shoulder thrusts.

Covert Jay: Tag to Peterson!

Vinegar: Chops to the chest by Chris Peterson, pulls JK out for a T-Bone suplex.

Lieberjosch: JK elbows him away, knocks Peterson down with a dropkick.

Vinegar: Goes for the cover, Peterson shoves him off right away.

Lieberjosch: Hastings yelling at Sam Green to get in position for the count quicker.

Vinegar: I'm not sure what that would have accomplished.

Covert Jay: Well, a one-count might have sapped some energy from his meter.

Lieberjosch: What?

Vinegar: Side suplex by JK, springboards off the ropes!

Covert Jay: Flying Debris!

Vinegar: But Peterson rolls out of the way, comes off the ropes with a clothesline.

Lieberjosch: But JK ducks it and hits a pele kick!

Vinegar: Cover!




ONE!!!





TWO!!!





Vinegar: Peterson kicks out!! JK pulling him back to his feet.

Covert Jay: Peterson cuts behind JK into a waistlock, and hits a rolling German suplex!

Vinegar: And Peterson tags back out to Ryder.

Lieberjosch: Hastings reminding Green that Ryder needs to be holding onto the tag rope there, that's a good point.

Vinegar: I'm pretty sure he did.

Lieberjosch: JK catches Ryder with a kick to the gut!

Covert Jay: FLYING DEBRIS!!!!

Vinegar: And this time he hits it!

Lieberjosch: But Hastings is in the ring, he's showing Green the tag rope.

Vinegar: Green trying to get Hastings out of the ring, as JK has Duncan Ryder in a cover.

Lieberjosch: Well if Sam Green doesn't understand the tag ropes, how can we expect him to count a fall?

Vinegar: JK looking very annoyed, approaching Hastings.

Lieberjosch: But Chris Peterson runs past him and tackles Hastings through the ropes and out of the ring!

Vinegar: JK turns around right into Duncan Ryder!

Covert Jay: DASHING DRIVER!!!

Vinegar: Cover!





ONE!!!





TWO!!!





THREE!!!!





Dennis: Here are your winners, CHRIS PETERSON AND DUNCAN RYYYYYYYDERRRRR!!!!!

Vinegar: Ryder and Peterson picking up the win here tonight!

Lieberjosch: And Hastings has gotten away from Peterson, shouting at Sam Green.

Vinegar: But Peterson has a microphone!

Peterson: Hey, Hastings! You've managed to make a real mess of things, blaming my grandfather for me beating you at WrestleStock, I think it's time we put that theory to the test! You and me, one more time, at In Your Hands!

Vinegar: The challenge laid down!

Covert Jay: It would be the tie-breaker between them!

Peterson: If I beat you, you promise to leave my grandfather alone!

Lieberjosch: Hastings not looking particularly impressed by the offer.

Peterson: If you beat me, I'll become your pupil, just like you wanted back before No Holds Barred.

Vinegar: Hastings seems to be thinking about it.

Lieberjosch: He nods his agreement!

Vinegar: It's accepted! We'll see Hastings vs Peterson, one more time, at In Your Hands!

Covert Jay: But don't go anywhere, we've got lots of ninja action still to come, tonight on Synergy!

[Lord Hastings]

The Head of the UGWC Human Resource Department, Robert Ooley's face fills the screen. His forehead is a landscape of crevices as he furrows it furiously. He has huge bags underneath his eyes, representing the fact he has had very little sleep of recent, and we can tell from his breathing that his heart rate is elevated.

Ooley: Can it really be this easy? Are they really as fucking stupid as they look, that they believe everything they are saying? Ole' Bob finds it tragic to believe that the short sighted, anal burrowing gimmick is not a façade, it's really who they are! They are stupid enough to believe that they control their own retarded cunting destinies, not Robert Ooley, UGWC's most forward thinking individual.

Ole' Bob wasn't one of The Puppet Masters for no reason, unlike some whose names are picked because it makes them feel fucking cool, as if the name alone will buy them victories without any actual inspifuckingration! In those days much of the power I wielded over others was bought by knocking their stupid shit filled heads until they thought the right way, now Louis is merely the last resort, Ole' Bob's first weapon is his mind.

Do any of them really believe anything happens in this godforsaken company without my say so, without Robert Ooley overseeing every move, anticipating them before their fucktarded brains have even contemplated their latest logicfuck of a plan. How any of them can consider themselves to be individuals or important in their own right bemuses me. Surely some of them know, that at the end of each night, when they go home to their syphilis ridden families, that they are no more than replaceable cattle, being driven wherever Ole' Bob wants them to go.

Ooley has begun to sweat from his hairline, and he wipes his forehead with the back of his hand as he chukles.

Ooley: I suppose it's kind of cute, seeing them band together against Ole' Bob as if he were motherfucking Sauron in flesh. They play their games, like they are in the school yard re-enacting their favourite cartoons, playing soldiers with their toys...but they have no idea this is a game, they truly believe they can force change, make a difference...win!

But you can only find so much amusement in this naivety before it becomes tiring and mindnumbing, to hear the dullards and nobodies declare themselves the next Gods of Olympus before they have done anything of any fucking note. Their unending stroking of their own pitiful achievements, speaking them up as if they have achieved anything of note, so many of them convinced they are destined to be the next to lead, but none of them aware that all they will ever do is follow.

The prime example of all this is The Viscous Crud, a group of individuals who between them apparently share all of three braincells. They are on top of the world, enjoying their time in the spotlight as if they earned it. Each one of them believe they are something special, something important to our business, that they fight to show the world how truly great they are. The two leading stars of this new 'Superteam' have their heads so far inserted up their own rear ends that they truly believe they are on the cusp of greatness.

From Ooley';s standpoint, they seem to have fallen into the miscomprehnsion that they are in some kind of dispute with Ooley and The HRD. They might not reference it quite that way, but they certainly think they are somehow on Ole' Bobs radar as anything other than another set of puppets to be manipulated as I wish. Laughable how a man who one genuinely believed he was a fucking angel, and another one who has such a loose grasp on immigration policy he believes a marriage certificate means his wife needs neither a visa or to apply for a green card to reside in this fine country, can truly foresee themselves being anything but inconsequential nobodies in the grand scheme of thing is both hysterical and deeply tragic at the same time.

In their vast unending stupidity, Sux and his sheep probably believe Ole' Bob's nose has been put out of joint by his forthcoming World Title Shot, which is a theory which couldn't be further from the truth. I am more than happy to watch The Viscous Crud implode almost as quickly as they formed as they rush blindly into challenges their feeble experience has not prepared them for. As many have noted, three members of the HRD could not take down Ebola at WrestleStock, what chance does Sux thinks he has when he stands alone against the same foe? Has he forgotten how he couldn't even defeat Astro Bummers in a 'stay in the ring' longest match?

There is no annoyance from the HRD, we are happy for Sux and his ducklings to spread their wings as we regroup, Johnny and Duncan will get a good workout against JK, Marek and whomever the fans choose, and Pierce and Gabby will watch on with delight as Sux wears down Ebola before inevitably being crushed under his brutal might. I feel no shame in admitting the HRD are not ready to commit themselves to another offensive at this point, only fools rush in unprepared.

And as the Viscous Crud speed headlong into an early state of insignificance, Ole' Bob will be thinking many moves ahead, ready to reassert the dominance of The Human Resource Department when Faint Gust, Ezekneel Sux and their friends efforts are remembered only as bad jokes.

Ooley is frowning now, and he steps back and we finally see from another view that he has been looking into a mirror the whole time.

Ooley: It gets lonely when everybody else is monumentally fucktarded.

[Lord Hastings]

Vinegar: Welcome back, ladies and Gentlemen. We¡¦re half way though our stacked card and the action will only get hotter from here!

Lieberjosch: Literally, that is. ¡¥Double D¡¦ Tits Magoo is involved in this next match-up, although, she will be taking on the paint obsessed transvestite, Jet Somers, which may hamper the hotness of the contest somewhat¡K

Covert Jay: I sense Tits Magoo will have a couple of butt-wiggles in her hand for the Jetstreamer

Lieberjosch: Did he¡K.

Covert Jay: Did I what?

Lieberjosch: Did you just speak an emoticon??

Covert Jay: I¡¦m a¡K

Vinegar: Ninja, yes, we know.

DING! DING!

Dennis: The following contest is scheduled for OOOOOOONE FAAAAAAAAAALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

¡§Vow¡¨

¡§Vow" starts, and the arena goes black with red lights strobing all over the place in time to the opening guitar riffs. When the music crescendos, the lights goes into a steady red all over the arena, and a light blue spotlight shines on the entrance as The Talk comes out with his Mallet Of Doom (TM) slung across his shoulders.

Dennis: Introducing first, from the land of video games and Mallets, weighing in at the weight of HHH¡¦s sledge hammer, AAAAAAAAALAAAAAAAAAAAN FEEEEEEEEERNAAAAAAAANDEEEEEEEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Covert Jay: Oh man, that was awful!

He walks down, taking his time, looking all around the arena with an unreadable gaze. When he hits the ring, he stands on the apron staring out into the crowd.

Vinegar: Wha¡K yes¡Kyes, ok. Ladies and Gentlemen, we are briefly going to take you backstage, as someone has broken into the techie room.

A shot of JK in the production room as Alan completes his entrance on the Monitor.

JK; Look, I got these from the consortium; you¡¦re to play this tape now. It¡¦s a last minute change to the sounding.

Techie: Look, I don¡¦t believe you!

JK: Do you want Ooley coming in here with Lewis?

The techie sighs and puts the tape in as we go back to ringside for Jets entrance.

Vinegar: Wow¡Kthat was odd¡K

Lieberjosch: We look forward to your letters, WWE¡K

"Everybody Down"

A silhouette resembling Jet Somers appears in the distance of a darkened hallway, walking toward the screen. A distorted and distant Mark Collie wails: 'In time, your time will be no more...,' and the vertical control suddenly flips out as Nonpoint's "Everybody Down" hits hard and Jet runs out from behind the curtain, wearing the Cross Hemisphere Championship around his waist. He runs to the edge of the stage and pumps his fist in the air a few times. Attached to his other wrist by handcuffs is the briefcase won at No Holds Barred.

Dennis: And his partner, from Deep Creek, Mississippi, weighing in at 185lbs¡K¡KJEEEEEEEEEEEEEET SOOOOOOOOOOOOMEEEEEEEEEEERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JK: Play it now.

Everybody down suddenly cuts, forcing Jet to look at the now blank Tron, before the wailing vocals of Steven Tyler cuts over the PA system.

¡§DUUUUUUUDE LOOKS LIKE A LAYDAYH!!!¡¨

Aerosmith¡¦s ¡§Dude looks like a lady¡¨ plays as videos of Jet in the Arcadia drag he wore last year. Jet looks slightly pissed off as he marches down to the ring.

Vinegar: He does not look happy.

Lieberjosch: Thank you captain obvious.

Covert Jay: You¡¦re welcome lieutenant sarcasm ƒº

Lieberjosch: That is going to annoy me.

¡§You know my name¡¨

Travis Pierce walks out, somewhat more determined than his usual cocky self. The pyros go off as he gets halfway down the ring.

Dennis: And from the land of Television, weighing in at 2 pounds less than DJs momma¡K..TRAVIS PIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEERCEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Covert Jay: D:! He wasn¡¦t on the Piercing truth this week ƒ¼

Lieberjosch: Grrr¡K..

Vinegar: There is an element of truth to that phrase, for some unknown reason, Travis decided to walk off set during the broadcast of his popular webbisodes of The Piercing Truth!

¡§What you want¡¨

'What You Want' slinks into existence as all the arena lighting turns purple and pink as what we want walks out atop the entrance way. The gorgeous Gabrielle in her hue of caramel smirks as she gazes out over all the UGWC fans and tussles her hair over her shoulders before sauntering down too the ring while holding her hands delicately aloft beside herself.

Dennis: And his partner, from Auckland, NZ, GAAAAAAAAABRIEEEEEEEEELEEEEEEEEEE MOOOOOOOOOOONTGOOOOOOOOOOOOMEEEEEEEEEEERY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JK: Play the second tape.

Again, the music cuts. Gabby stops her entrance, wondering what exactly is going on.

¡§I LIKE IT, LIKE IT, COME ON!¡¨

Rhianna¡¦s S&M blares out over the speakers as videos of Tyvola ripping off Gabrielle¡¦s clothes, and an obviously doctored shot of her, Duncan, and Boss P in the throws of passion start playing on the screen. Gabby screams in anger to try and get the video to stop.

Vinegar: I have just gotten word that Ooley is going to ¡¥Fix the problem¡¦.

Covert Jay: It¡¦s too late, JK ninja has made his escape apparently. O.o

Lieberjosch: Jet jumping off the apron now, and sweeps the legs out from underneath her. Jet now with a handful of hair, throws her into the ring. He slides in after her, and referee Brian Chartreuse calling for this one to start!

DING! DING!

Vinegar: Jet right on the offensive with a low drop kick to the face of Gabrielle as she tries to get to her feet.

Covert Jay: NOOO! Not the face! That makes me a sad ninja :¡¦(

Lieberjosch: *Grumble*

Vinegar: Jet locking in a Camel clutch rather quickly, but it is broken by a stomp to the head by Pierce. Chartreuse quick to get him out of the ring, as both Gabrielle and Jet get to their feet at the same time. They lock up in the centre of the ring, as jet starts to gain a little more footing. He shifts into a side headlock, before Gabrielle pushes him towards the ropes. Jet rebounds with a clothesline, ducked by Gabrielle¡K

Covert Jay: BUUUUUUUUUUUTT WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGLE!!!!!!!

Lieberjosch: High knee! Winkface!

Covert Jay: Yeeeeaaaaah¡K¡Knnnnnnnooooooooo¡K¡K.

Vinegar: Travis with a High knee as Jet rebounds off of the ropes again. Gabrielle taking advantage, kicks him in the gut, and slams him into the ground with a DDT!

Covert jay: XD! He touched her boobs!

Lieberjosch: Only technically.

Vinegar: Gabrielle with a pin!

ONE!

TWO!

Vinegar: And Alan Fernandez stomps the back of Gabby, breaking the pin. Gabrielle and Jet back on their feet, Gabby going for another lock up, but Jet is quick to dodge it, and lands a stiff kick into the ribs! Gabby doubles over, as Jet executes a superb fisherman¡¦s suplex. Jet now going high risk¡K.NO! Pierce with the save again! He pushes Jet off of the top rope, and onto the crowd barrier on the out side!

Lieberjosch: I don¡¦t care who you are, that¡¦s gotta hurt!

Covert Jay: A ninja count begins!

Vinegar: Pierce following in, picks up the fallen body of Somers, and throws him into the ring post! Oh my god! That will bruise badly. Pierce throws him back into the ring, and Gabby going back in for the kill! She sets him up for the 34DD DDT¡K¡K.SHE HITS IT!

Lieberjosch: He bounces across the ring, and Fernandez tags him on the fall out! Fernandez comes storming into the ring, and Takes down Magoo with a clothesline! Now turning his attention to Pierce, and come barreling in with a shoulder charge to the midsection, sending him crashing to the arena floor! Now THAT is how a wrestler strikes!

Covert Jay: ;D This match is supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

Lieberjosch: I hate him¡K

Vinegar: We know. Fernandez pulling Tits Magoo back to her feet, and delivers a nice belly to back suplex!

Covert Jay: ! UNDERCLEAVAGE SHOT!

Vinegar: Gabby quickly back on her feet, Pierce distracting the Referee¡K..OHHHH!

Covert Jay: XO! That will sting like a Muhammad Ali punch!

Lieberjosch: Suffice it to say, that kick into Alan¡¦s no mans land was a smart strategic move on their behalf, she has him doubled over, and can now go on the attack.

Vinegar: Gabrielle now with a dropkick to the side of his head, forcing ¡¥The talk of the Town¡¦ to fall down hard1 Gabby looks at her fallen opponent, smirks, and then tags out to Pierce. And like a vulture, he goes to pick at the scraps, rolling Fernandez over for a pin.

Covert Jay: NINJA ROLL THROUGH!

Lieberjosch: In his own annoying way, he described a pin¡K.when will this end?

Vinegar: Pierce easily kicks out, and locks in an Arm Bar. Again, Fernandez is just too powerful, and he manages to power out. Pierce runs at Alan, who goes for a back Body Drop, but is met with snap suplex from Pierce!

Covert Jay: That was a smooth move B-)

Lieberjosch: What was that?

Covert Jay: You mean that leg drop Pierce just hit on Alan? Or my Emoticon?

Lieberjosch: I think you know, Jay.

Covert Jay: It was a Leg Drop.

Lieberjosch:*Grumbles again*

Vinegar: Cut it out, you two. Pierce with full authority in this one. Gabby still on the Apron, looking out for any further involvement with TVK, Jet still not moving out at ringside, this could be an inevitable Handicap match. Pierce stomping on the arm of Fernandez, and now with an Arm breaker! He¡¦s just torturing Alan now.

Covert Jay: >=( That makes me Angry!

Lieberjosch: *mumbled*For Christ¡¦s sake¡K

Vinegar: Pierce setting up for it¡KSIGNING OFF!!! But he is too close to the corner, and jet is starting to recover!

Covert Jay: PAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINT!!!!!!!!!!!

Lieberjosch: Unnecessarily long, Jay, but I am afraid he is right, black paint has just descended from the rafters, and coated ¡¥Double bubble¡¦ Magoo while Brian Chartreuse¡¦s back was turned! She is hurriedly trying to scrape the paint off, but Jet makes the tag to Alan from the outside, Chartreuse signaling a legal tag, Jet coming in off of the top rope¡K..

Covert Jay: JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET STREEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!

Lieberjosch: Jet with the pin!

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

DING! DING!

Dennis: Here are your winners, Jet Somers, and AAAAAAAAAAAAALAAAAAAAAAN FEEEEEEEEEEEEERNAAAAAAAAAANDEEEEEEEEEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vinegar: What an upset that was!

Lieberjosch: And I¡¦m happy that I don¡¦t have to continue hearing Jay¡¦s fucking emoticons!

Covert Jay: Or¡K¡K.do you? O.O

Lieberjosch: No, I don¡¦t. The person who wrote this match thankfully only has the one, so I will not be hearing those again tonight!

Vinegar: Jet locking eyes with Gabrielle, maybe their fight isn't over yet?

Lieberjosch: He's retrieving the Cross Hemisphere Championship without taking his eyes off of her, what's that he's got wrapped up in it?

Covert Jay: It's a Travis Pierce action figure!

Lieberjosch: Jet slides out of the ring, and grabs a paintbrush dripping with black paint...

Vinegar: And swipes it across the figurine, grinning his goofy grin.

Lieberjosch: Pierce smirks, rolling his eyes and gesturing for toward Gabrielle.

Vinegar: Look out!

Lieberjosch: A bucket of paint just fell from the rafters to spatter all over Travis Pierce, and Jet never took his eyes off of Gabrielle Montgomery!

Covert Jay: Voodoo Ninja!

Lieberjosch: Gabrielle is irate and makes to advance on Jet, but Pierce stops her!

We cut to a shot of the back stage. More precisely the long slender well toned legs of Faith. Six inch stilettos and she's still a track star. Then the mammoth black booted hoof that can only belong to the UGWC Champion, Tyvola. Now she is being chased. Someone's getting fucked up. She rounds the corner, her breathing calm and steady. She rounds another corner, the hall suspiciously empty. One more corner, and we see Ezekiel Pax standing in front of a locked door holding a cornflower blue piece of note pad paper.

Zeke looks up. Zeke goes down after being speared by the mountain that is the Mountain Madman. Faith slows to a relaxing jog.

Tyvola first to his feet heaves Zeke up by the armpits and hurls him at the nearest wall. With a thud and a sudden stop Zeke lands on his feet held up by the concrete wall. The Jackal of Jwar Isle puts a death grip on the Iron Man's wrist and flings him through the air head over heels into the opposite wall. Zeke crashes, upside down, and crumbles the last four feet to the floor.

And on cue the hallway is filled with security, agents, suits, and medics all trying to stand between Tyvola and his consolation prize. All of them together make a sad attempt to stop the encounter. All of them together are grossly over matched. Like a semi-truck through a high school paper banner Tyvola is back on Pax. He hoists him up, and is immediately surrounded by waves of nameless faceless ineffective rank and file.

And the exiled angel soars once again. Scraping the ceiling, past the ducts, through the pipes, sugaM'ed over the heads of half a dozen rows of nobodies. And the exiled angel crashes hard, again onto the reality of what was not long ago the concrete floor of a strangely empty hallway. A kick from the passing by Champ to the downed challenger and it's all over. Tyvola is gone. Ezekiel is left a broken mess. And the hallway, bizarrely once again is empty as medics tend to Pax and security take statements from suits.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: It's time for the main event of an eventful edition of Synergy.

Dennis: Ladies and Gentlemen it is time for tonights Main Event and it is scheduled for One Fall.

'You're the Best'

Dennis: Introducing first, from Japan, MMMMMAAAAARRRRREEEEKKKK DDDDAAAIIIISSSUUUUKKKEEEE!!!

Vinegar: If you're tuning in late and are wondering why The Human Missile does not have Ezekiel Pax alongside him as scheduled, he was attacked by Mrek's opponent tonight, and his opponent for In Your Hands, UGWC's World Champion, Tyvola.

Lieberjosch: Are you even slightly surprised? After what they did last week, they should have known to be on guard at all time, for a big guy The Mountain Madman tends to sneak up on ya.

Covert Jay: He's got a point, nowhere is an eye for an eye more relevant than in our business.

Vinegar: How much will Pax's absence affect Marek? He's only been back for a few weeks, he's still gotta be shaking off the ring rust, and no doubt they'd have had a plan to utilise Ezekiel's presence. That plan has gone out the window, and Marek has got to adapt to take on Tyvola with no support.

Lieberjosch: His legs are no the only lightening quick thing The Lion of Ishikawa possess, inside the ring he has a very speedy tactical mind. He poses a challenge Tyvola hasn't faced for a while, and that could be the only small chance he has.

Vinegar: Everyone has a chance, we see that each and every week.

'Come Together'

Dennis: And his opponent, from Jwar Isle, The UGWC World Heavyweight Champion, TTTTYYYYYYYYVVVVVOOOOOLLLLLAAAAA!!!

Vinegar: Tyvola wasting no time heading to the ring, his nostrils flared, clearly he has not forgotten Marek's role in what closed last weeks show. And as he steams into the ring under the bottom rope, Marek wisely slides underneath himself to the outside.

Covert Jay: Tyvola ain't gonna give up that easily, he's climbed over the top rope and to the arena floor...

Vinegar: And Marek has slid back into the ring...

Covert Jay: Ty turns and he drags himself back in...

Vinegar: Onloy for Marek to escape like lightening...but Ty charges across and slides quickly underneath...Marek pauses and when Tyvola gets to his feet....he runs...

Covert Jay: The Homicidal Hobo is hot on his heels...

Lieberjosch: For now...

Vinegar: Marek still running, and Ty still following, but by the end of the second lap of the ring Ty has lost ground...at which point Marek Slides back into the ring...and when Ty slides in he doesn't attempt to move.

Lieberjosch: because Tyvola is blown up, he's completely out of breath...thats the speed of thinking I was talking of, and now that Marek has worn Ty out, he's ready to allow Glenn Burke to signal for the bell.

Ding!


Vinegar: Ty immediatley going for Marek, but Marek easily sidesteps, springboards off the second rope and leaping backwards and driving his elbow into Ty's skull, sending the big man backwards into the ropes.

Lieberjosch: Daisuke hitting a scissor kick as Ty rebounds, and The Homicidal Hermit stumbles onto one knee...

Vinegar: He starts getting to his feet...

Lieberjosch: Missile Knee! MISSILE KNEE!





1...







2...







Vinegar: Tyvola manages to kick out, but only just, Marek's early onslaught has really got our World Heavyweight Champion on the ropes, and Marek is not about to let up. Tyvola may have kicked out, but he's sluggish getting to his feet, and Marek has the time to jump to the top rope as Tyvola extends himself using the opposite turnbuckle...

Lieberjosch: RYUJIN RUSH!

Covert Jay: I hate him, yet that was Ninja, he is the Anti-Ninja!

Vinegar: Marek running across the top rope before launching both feet into Tyvola's face, and once more The World Champion goes down to the canvas.

Lieberjosch: SPLIT LEGGED MOONSAU...

Vinegar: Tyvola finally managing to stem the tide of Marek's offence, and Marek now rolling on the canvas clutching his chest...but The Champion is in no better state, clutching at his head, which has taken an elbow, a knee and two feet batter it so far.

Lieberjosch: And it is Daisuke that gets back on his feet, and he knows he can't lock up with tTvola, he will overpower him, he has to keep moving, running in on the rising Tyvola, grabbing his head and leg....and executes The Marek-Ill, using his own speed and momentum to pull Ty over....

Vinegar: He leaps to the top rope again...

Lieberjosch: AERIEL EMPEROR!

Vinegar: Daisuke half connects, half gets smashed in the face by Ty's reactionary fist which rose at the last moment...and Marek now rolls off the Mountain madman...

Lieberjosch: I think he's lost a tooth...

Covert Jay: For a change your right, the False Idol's smile is cracked much like his soul!

Vinegar: Marek clutching at his mouth and now he too realises he is bleeding, and his missing tooth...and he doesn't notice Ty has got to his feet, grabs him by the shoulder, spins him round and pulls him into a clothesline so powerful Marek spins 360 degree's backwards before eventually hitting the canvas.

Lieberjosch: The Feral Phenom now dragging Mark to his feet, and them throws him into the turnbuckle with great force, and then follows him in with a Corner Avalanche...and then repeats those moves in the opposite corner...Marek finally stumbling out and falling flat on his face...

Vinegar: Tyvola drags him up again and heave him up...

Lieberjosch: CATASTROPHIC CAVE IN CAUSER!

Vinegar: Tyvola Alabama Slamming Marek into the turnbuckle, and Daisuke may well be broken here, and Ty knows it and goes for the cover....




1....









2....






Vinegar: Foot on rope! Marek is aware enough to break the count, but maybe that wasn't the brightest move as he finds himself dragged upwards once more....

Lieberjosch: But out of desperation he lashes out with a Yakuza Kick that sends Tyvola stumbling backwards...and then he bends his legs and launches himself at the stunned Tyvola...and leaps...

Vinegar: DOWN FROM THE SK...

Covert Jay: FALSE IDOL CAUGHT!

Lieberjosch: He's not called the Mountain Madman because he enjoys people climbing on him, and he catches Marek midmove....

Vinegar: AND POWERBOMBS HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE!

Covert Jay: He's a Broken idol now...

1...

Vinegar: Tyvola just stands at the ropes, looking down at the motionless Marek, his nostrils flaring, he just stares....

4...

Lieberjosch: Marek is not moving, and even if he could it probably wouldn't be wise to do so...

8...

Vinegar: But he's not giving up, he's back on his feet...but it's too late....


10!!!

Dennis: Here is your winner, via count out.....TTTYYYYYVVVVVOOOOOOOLLLLLLLAAAAA!!!!

Vinegar: That's going to do it for this week's Synergy.

Covert Jay: Wait, I don't think we're done.

Liberjosch: ...

Vinegar: ...

Covert Jay: ninja.

Liberjosch: Massive boot to the temple from Tyvola and Marek is back down!

Vinegar: Not for long, as the Feral Phenom sends Marek hard into the corner, and starts unloading with rights and lefts! This is a mauling!

Lieberjosch: Heart Punch after Heart Punch after Heart Punch!

Vinegar: And dumped to the outside. People had been wondering when Tyvola would start taking exception to the beatings he's been taking. After tonight, I think they're going to wonder what anyone could have done to deserve this!

Lieberjosch: So much potential! The champion rips the top half of the ring steps off and discards them to the side. I think he's thinking bad bad thoughts. Such a waste. I could be making so much money!

Vinegar: But Marek isn't out yet. He starts with elbows to the face as Tyvola peels him off the floor. Then knees, and now kicks. Tyvola losing his grip. Marek is fighting free!

Lieberjosch: And Marek is swung, thrown like a bail of hay, at the ring post! It's like a damn car crash out here! A massive gravy train wreck!

Vinegar: Tyvola still has his grip around Marek's neck.

Covert Jay: Jet Somers!

Vinegar: ...

Lieberjosch: ...

Covert Jay: twisted ninja.

Lieberjosch: What is that wet blanket psychopath doing out here?

Vinegar: Honestly I'm surprised no one else has run out to try to stop this. We all saw what Tyvola did to Ezekiel Pax earlier in the night.

Lieberjosch: Forth Vicious Kind! Bet you!

Vinegar: I think he's trying to talk some sense into the Bestial Butcher... Magus! Marek face first into the bottom half of the ring steps with a damnable Magus!

Lieberjosch: What is that crazy loon doing? Get out of the way!

Vinegar: For once, the good doctor makes sense. Tyvola has pressed the top half of those ring steps over his head, and when looking down to the fallen Marek sprawled out over the bottom half only sees Somers standing in his way.

Covert Jay: *sigh* Ninja code?

Lieberjosch: He does have some primitive level of self preservation after all.

Vinegar: Last second, Jet Somers moves aside, and Tyvola slams those steps onto the bludgeoned body of Marek! He's crushed! Has to be flattened like a pancake!

Lieberjosch: SO MUCH MONEY!

Vinegar: And just like that a silent calm look at Somers, grabbing his belt, and Tyvola is walking away. Damage is done though. How much is this going to hurt The Vicious Kind! Folks tune in next week!

[Lord Hastings]

Credits

Opener
Hastings (Rudo post-match)

Code Fusion Returns
Fusion

Ryder/Peterson vs Hastings/JK
Hastings

Ooley Backstage
T-Rob

Somers/Fernandez vs Pierce/Gabby
JK (Ichy post-match)

Tyvola Backstage
Tyvola

Main Event
T-Rob (Ty post-match)

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Credits

Opener

Donovan

Opener Post-Match
Rudo

The Return
Red Fusion

Ryder & Peterson vs Hastings & JK
Donovan

Ooley
T-Rob

Pierce & Gabby vs Somers & Fernandez
JK

Pierce Painting
Ichy

Zeke Attacked
Ty

Main Event
T-Rob

Main Event Post Match
Ty[/center]

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

We are aware with some formatting issues with the second tag match, it is how Steve and both received it and we have not got the time to edit it, apologies.

['The Cyclone' JK]

I can honestly say, I have no idea what happened, there. Appologies, and I'll try to post what was typed ASAP =|

[EZRA]

Wow. TVK stole the show last week and it's awesome for it be the opposite this week. The two attacks were more violent then expected, but I have no complaints. Kudos to all involved. This was a great show. The storylines for In Your Hands are definitely picking up.

[princerudo]

The Hastings/Peterson feud is building nicely, Ty's revenge was painful to read, nice escalation, Code Fusion had a nicely done return angle to play into after the PPV, and I won. What more can you ask for in a show?

['The Cyclone' JK]

So here is the unedited (and hopefully uncrappy formatted) version of the tag match I wrote

Vinegar: Welcome back, ladies and Gentlemen. We’re half way though our stacked card and the action will only get hotter from here!

Lieberjosch: Literally, that is. ‘Double D’ Tits Magoo is involved in this next match-up, although, she will be taking on the paint obsessed transvestite, Jet Somers, which may hamper the hotness of the contest somewhat…

Covert Jay: I sense Tits Magoo will have a couple of butt-wiggles in her hand for the Jetstreamer

Lieberjosch: Did he….

Covert Jay: Did I what?

Lieberjosch: Did you just speak an emoticon??

Covert Jay: I’m a…

Vinegar: Ninja, yes, we know.

DING! DING!

Dennis: The following contest is scheduled for OOOOOOONE FAAAAAAAAAALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Vow”

“Vow" starts, and the arena goes black with red lights strobing all over the place in time to the opening guitar riffs. When the music crescendos, the lights goes into a steady red all over the arena, and a light blue spotlight shines on the entrance as The Talk comes out with his Mallet Of Doom (TM) slung across his shoulders.

Dennis: Introducing first, from the land of video games and Mallets, weighing in at the weight of HHH’s sledge hammer, AAAAAAAAALAAAAAAAAAAAN FEEEEEEEEERNAAAAAAAANDEEEEEEEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Covert Jay: Oh man, that was awful!

He walks down, taking his time, looking all around the arena with an unreadable gaze. When he hits the ring, he stands on the apron staring out into the crowd.

Vinegar: Wha… yes…yes, ok. Ladies and Gentlemen, we are briefly going to take you backstage, as someone has broken into the techie room.

A shot of JK in the production room as Alan completes his entrance on the Monitor.

JK; Look, I got these from the consortium; you’re to play this tape now. It’s a last minute change to the sounding.

Techie: Look, I don’t believe you!

JK: Do you want Ooley coming in here with Lewis?

The techie sighs and puts the tape in as we go back to ringside for Jets entrance.

Vinegar: Wow…that was odd…

Lieberjosch: We look forward to your letters, WWE…

"Everybody Down"

A silhouette resembling Jet Somers appears in the distance of a darkened hallway, walking toward the screen. A distorted and distant Mark Collie wails: 'In time, your time will be no more...,' and the vertical control suddenly flips out as Nonpoint's "Everybody Down" hits hard and Jet runs out from behind the curtain, wearing the Cross Hemisphere Championship around his waist. He runs to the edge of the stage and pumps his fist in the air a few times. Attached to his other wrist by handcuffs is the briefcase won at No Holds Barred.

Dennis: And his partner, from Deep Creek, Mississippi, weighing in at 185lbs……JEEEEEEEEEEEEEET SOOOOOOOOOOOOMEEEEEEEEEEERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JK: Play it now.

Everybody down suddenly cuts, forcing Jet to look at the now blank Tron, before the wailing vocals of Steven Tyler cuts over the PA system.

“DUUUUUUUDE LOOKS LIKE A LAYDAYH!!!”

Aerosmith’s “Dude looks like a lady” plays as videos of Jet in the Arcadia drag he wore last year. Jet looks slightly pissed off as he marches down to the ring.

Vinegar: He does not look happy.

Lieberjosch: Thank you captain obvious.

Covert Jay: You’re welcome lieutenant sarcasm

Lieberjosch: That is going to annoy me.

“You know my name”

Travis Pierce walks out, somewhat more determined than his usual cocky self. The pyros go off as he gets halfway down the ring.

Dennis: And from the land of Television, weighing in at 2 pounds less than DJs momma…..TRAVIS PIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEERCEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Covert Jay: D:! He wasn’t on the Piercing truth this week

Lieberjosch: Grrr…..

Vinegar: There is an element of truth to that phrase, for some unknown reason, Travis decided to walk off set during the broadcast of his popular webbisodes of The Piercing Truth!

“What you want”

'What You Want' slinks into existence as all the arena lighting turns purple and pink as what we want walks out atop the entrance way. The gorgeous Gabrielle in her hue of caramel smirks as she gazes out over all the UGWC fans and tussles her hair over her shoulders before sauntering down too the ring while holding her hands delicately aloft beside herself.

Dennis: And his partner, from Auckland, NZ, GAAAAAAAAABRIEEEEEEEEELEEEEEEEEEE MOOOOOOOOOOONTGOOOOOOOOOOOOMEEEEEEEEEEERY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JK: Play the second tape.

Again, the music cuts. Gabby stops her entrance, wondering what exactly is going on.

“I LIKE IT, LIKE IT, COME ON!”

Rhianna’s S&M blares out over the speakers as videos of Tyvola ripping off Gabrielle’s clothes, and an obviously doctored shot of her, Duncan, and Boss P in the throws of passion start playing on the screen. Gabby screams in anger to try and get the video to stop.

Vinegar: I have just gotten word that Ooley is going to ‘Fix the problem’.

Covert Jay: It’s too late, JK ninja has made his escape apparently. O.o

Lieberjosch: Jet jumping off the apron now, and sweeps the legs out from underneath her. Jet now with a handful of hair, throws her into the ring. He slides in after her, and referee Brian Chartreuse calling for this one to start!

DING! DING!

Vinegar: Jet right on the offensive with a low drop kick to the face of Gabrielle as she tries to get to her feet.

Covert Jay: NOOO! Not the face! That makes me a sad ninja :’(

Lieberjosch: *Grumble*

Vinegar: Jet locking in a Camel clutch rather quickly, but it is broken by a stomp to the head by Pierce. Chartreuse quick to get him out of the ring, as both Gabrielle and Jet get to their feet at the same time. They lock up in the centre of the ring, as jet starts to gain a little more footing. He shifts into a side headlock, before Gabrielle pushes him towards the ropes. Jet rebounds with a clothesline, ducked by Gabrielle…

Covert Jay: BUUUUUUUUUUUTT WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGLE!!!!!!!

Lieberjosch: High knee! Winkface!

Covert Jay: Yeeeeaaaaah……nnnnnnnooooooooo…….

Vinegar: Travis with a High knee as Jet rebounds off of the ropes again. Gabrielle taking advantage, kicks him in the gut, and slams him into the ground with a DDT!

Covert jay: XD! He touched her boobs!

Lieberjosch: Only technically.

Vinegar: Gabrielle with a pin!

ONE!

TWO!

Vinegar: And Alan Fernandez stomps the back of Gabby, breaking the pin. Gabrielle and Jet back on their feet, Gabby going for another lock up, but Jet is quick to dodge it, and lands a stiff kick into the ribs! Gabby doubles over, as Jet executes a superb fisherman’s suplex. Jet now going high risk….NO! Pierce with the save again! He pushes Jet off of the top rope, and onto the crowd barrier on the out side!

Lieberjosch: I don’t care who you are, that’s gotta hurt!

Covert Jay: A ninja count begins!

Vinegar: Pierce following in, picks up the fallen body of Somers, and throws him into the ring post! Oh my god! That will bruise badly. Pierce throws him back into the ring, and Gabby going back in for the kill! She sets him up for the 34DD DDT…….SHE HITS IT!

Lieberjosch: He bounces across the ring, and Fernandez tags him on the fall out! Fernandez comes storming into the ring, and Takes down Magoo with a clothesline! Now turning his attention to Pierce, and come barreling in with a shoulder charge to the midsection, sending him crashing to the arena floor! Now THAT is how a wrestler strikes!

Covert Jay: ;D This match is supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

Lieberjosch: I hate him…

Vinegar: We know. Fernandez pulling Tits Magoo back to her feet, and delivers a nice belly to back suplex!

Covert Jay: ! UNDERCLEAVAGE SHOT!

Vinegar: Gabby quickly back on her feet, Pierce distracting the Referee…..OHHHH!

Covert Jay: XO! That will sting like a Muhammad Ali punch!

Lieberjosch: Suffice it to say, that kick into Alan’s no mans land was a smart strategic move on their behalf, she has him doubled over, and can now go on the attack.

Vinegar: Gabrielle now with a dropkick to the side of his head, forcing ‘The talk of the Town’ to fall down hard1 Gabby looks at her fallen opponent, smirks, and then tags out to Pierce. And like a vulture, he goes to pick at the scraps, rolling Fernandez over for a pin.

Covert Jay: NINJA ROLL THROUGH!

Lieberjosch: In his own annoying way, he described a pin….when will this end?

Vinegar: Pierce easily kicks out, and locks in an Arm Bar. Again, Fernandez is just too powerful, and he manages to power out. Pierce runs at Alan, who goes for a back Body Drop, but is met with snap suplex from Pierce!

Covert Jay: That was a smooth move B-)

Lieberjosch: What was that?

Covert Jay: You mean that leg drop Pierce just hit on Alan? Or my Emoticon?

Lieberjosch: I think you know, Jay.

Covert Jay: It was a Leg Drop.

Lieberjosch:*Grumbles again*

Vinegar: Cut it out, you two. Pierce with full authority in this one. Gabby still on the Apron, looking out for any further involvement with TVK, Jet still not moving out at ringside, this could be an inevitable Handicap match. Pierce stomping on the arm of Fernandez, and now with an Arm breaker! He’s just torturing Alan now.

Covert Jay: >=( That makes me Angry!

Lieberjosch: *mumbled*For Christ’s sake…

Vinegar: Pierce setting up for it…SIGNING OFF!!! But he is too close to the corner, and jet is starting to recover!

Covert Jay: PAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINT!!!!!!!!!!!

Lieberjosch: Unnecessarily long, Jay, but I am afraid he is right, black paint has just descended from the rafters, and coated ‘Double bubble’ Magoo while Brian Chartreuse’s back was turned! She is hurriedly trying to scrape the paint off, but Jet makes the tag to Alan from the outside, Chartreuse signaling a legal tag, Jet coming in off of the top rope…..

Covert Jay: JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET STREEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!

Lieberjosch: Jet with the pin!

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

DING! DING!

Dennis: Here are your winners, Jet Somers, and AAAAAAAAAAAAALAAAAAAAAAN FEEEEEEEEEEEEERNAAAAAAAAAANDEEEEEEEEEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vinegar: What an upset that was!

Lieberjosch: And I’m happy that I don’t have to continue hearing Jay’s fucking emoticons!

Covert Jay: Or…….do you? O.O

Lieberjosch: No, I don’t. The person who wrote this match thankfully only has the one, so I will not be hearing those again tonight!

The scene shifts to backstage as Ooley gets into the production room.

Ooley: Where the fuck is JJ, Dike?

Mike: I don’t know, sir. He gave me the tapes, told me when to play them, and left.

Ooley’s rage boils over, and he strikes Mike with Lewis, before pointing it at the incredibly scared Andrew.

Ooley: You had better be more helpful, Mandy…

Andrew: Um…Um….I…..I…I….OH GOD, DON’T HURT ME!

The shot returns to ringside.

Vinegar: I don’t know what to say….

Covert Jay: :S

Vinegar: Well said…


Also, Code Red, you just signed your own death warrent, buddy

[Red Bull Icon]

Painful to read? YO MOMMA's painful to read. Zoidberg with your strong sandwich portfolio and your underdeveloped stink gland.

I got your painful to read.

[redfusion]

hahaha, i appreciate the kind words jk...see you soon