Post by brandonbrown on Jul 25, 2009 21:48:56 GMT -5
(The scene starts with Brandon Brown sitting at a desk with a book. He has his reading glasses on.)
Hello. I’m Brandon Brown. You may know me as the former two time GIW Global Heavyweight Champion. I’m known for being a pretty crazy guy but I’ve decided to do away with all that craziness. Now, I’m concentrating on my studies. I never was the best student in class. I was always a big procrastinator. I always did things the last second. This basically killed me in college so I had to settle on this wrestling career instead. I have to say that I made the right choice. I do like to get out a book every so often though. Today I have pulled out this gem of a book. It’s called the History of Dragons.
I’m sure a lot of you GIW fans are wondering why I am reading the History of Dragons. I’ll assume that those of you wondering are just plain stupid. My opponent this week is Alex “The Dragon” Kiseragi. That’s why I’m reading the dragon book. I want to know what dragons are all about. What makes Alex Kiseragi a dragon? I would like to know this answer. He doesn’t look like a dragon. Let’s see what the book says.
(Opens book.) What is a dragon? A dragon is a mythical creature. They have been described as serpents, monsters, and reptiles. They usually have wings and they breathe fire. They may also be magical. (Closes book but leaves a bookmark in to save his place.) I don’t know about you, but I don’t think Kiseragi has anyone of those traits. He might breathe fire but I haven’t seen him do it yet.
(Opens book.) Now dragons have a long history that can be dated all the way back to 4000 B.C. They were said to live almost anywhere and in any place. (Slightly shuts book.) Alex Kiseragi lives in San Francisco. I hear a lot of gay people are from there. I wouldn’t accuse Kiseragi of being gay though. (Opens book.) Saint George once killed a dragon. He killed it with his sword. He then built a church where the dragon died. The church had a spring and the water cured diseases. (Slightly closes book.) If I kill Kiseragi, then can we find the cure for AIDS. I don’t have a sword though.
(Opens book.) A dragon can be good or bad. I guess it depends on the type. Alex Kiseragi is a good dragon. He doesn’t like the Revolution. I don’t like them either. Back to dragons. There are many different colored dragons. Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet. Actually, those are the colors of a rainbow. Indigo never gets enough credit. More common dragons colors are black, red, blue, green, and white. They all have there special powers. Like breathing lightning or poisonous gas. (Slightly closes book.) I wonder if Kiseragi can breathe lightning. I guess it depends on his color. What color is Japanese?
(Opens book.) Dragons are supposed to have a muscular body, thick neck, a horned head, and a tail. I’m pretty sure Kiseragi doesn’t have a horned head or a tail. Goku from the Dragonball series had a tail but it turned him into an ape not a dragon. I guess the eternal dragon granted their wishes though. That’s off the subject though. Dragons are supposed to be hatched from eggs. (Slightly closes book.) I wonder if Kiseragi came out of an egg. The Gobbledy Gooker hatched from an egg.
You know something. I have never played Dungeons and Dragons. It never seemed very interesting to me. I wonder if Kiseragi ever played D&D. Would he have been a dragon? I’m not sure if you can play as dragons. Some dragons have more than one head. Kiseragi only has one.
In conclusion about me talking about dragons, I don’t think Kiseragi really is a dragon. He just says he is to scare people. We all really know he is Japanese. Nobody fears Japanese. We bomb those suckers. Kiseragi says we have to fear the dragon. I fear being anally raped by the guy from San Francisco. You know I don’t think I have seen Kiseragi with a women recently. I actually don’t remember ever seeing him with a women. That makes me wonder. Then again, I haven’t seen Big B with a women in awhile. That’s because he repulses them though. Anyways, Kiseragi is no dragon. He just says that to impress women…or men. Besides, I saw a real dragon the other day. He looked like this.
It even says dragon on him.
(A knock is heard on Brandon’s door.)
Brandon: I’m not expecting any visitors.
(Brandon opens the door to reveal Nicholas Cage.)
Nicholas Cage: I know that you know where another treasure is. Tell me where it is.
Brandon: Cage, I don’t do that stuff anymore. I gave up on treasure hunts and crazy adventures. I want to focus more on my job. That’s what you need to do. Focus on your job. Face it, your last few movies haven’t exactly been great.
Nicholas Cage: What do you mean? I have like nine movies coming out in 2009. By doing so many movies, I will finally win another Oscar.
Brandon: I have a feeling that every one of those movies will suck.
Nicholas Cage: How dare you? I have never made a bad movie in my life. You probably don’t even watch my movies.
Brandon: I do watch for the bad acting. My favorite movie of yours was Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Probably because you don’t have a line in the whole movie.
Nicholas Cage: I hate that movie.
Brandon: How was it like working with Phoebe Cates back in her prime? She was hot back in the early 80s.
Nicholas Cage: I never got to see her.
Brandon: That’s a damn shame. Now, get out of my house.
Nicholas Cage: I’m not leaving until you tell me where this map leads to.
Brandon: You snuck into my house and you stole a map.
Nicholas Cage: I know this leads to treasure but where?
(Another man walks up.)
Man: Gates, he’s got the bloody map.
Brandon: Jesus Christ. Sean Bean. You guys do know that you aren’t your characters from National Treasure.
Sean Bean: How did Gates find that map?
Brandon: He’s a no good thief and his name is Nicholas Cage.
Nicholas Cage: Great, Ian’s here.
Brandon: His name is Sean Bean. He wasn’t even in the sequel.
(Sean Bean pulls out a gun and points it at Cage.)
Sean Bean: Give me the map Gates. I will shoot you.
Nicholas Cage: Ian, you can’t shoot me. You need me to solve the riddle.
Sean Bean: What riddle?
Brandon: There is no riddle. That’s not even a treasure map. It’s a map of the World.
Nicholas Cage: If this isn’t a treasure map, then why is this place in France circled?
Brandon: I can’t tell you why.
Sean Bean: Because there is treasure there.
Brandon: No, there isn’t any treasure there. (Brandon thinks for a second.) You know what? There is treasure there. In fact when you go there, there will be a girl. You must annoy her constantly until she tells you where the treasure is. You two got that?
Nicholas Cage: It’s that simple. There are no riddles to solve.
Brandon: No riddles.
Nicholas Cage: How big is this treasure?
Brandon: It’s best treasure you can ever imagine.
Sean Bean: I will beat you there, Gates.
Nicholas Cage: I will stop you, Ian.
(Cage and Bean race off to the treasure in France.)
Brandon: Payback is a bitch, Kyla. Finally, I can get back to my dragon studies.
(Brandon sees Big B in his house eating his food.)
Big B: I didn’t know you liked dragons.
Brandon: I’m studying them to learn more about Alex Kiseragi.
Big B: Why didn’t you just look at wikipedia. I’m sure they have an article on Kiseragi.
Brandon: Actually, they don’t. I looked. I wanted to learn about dragons though.
Big B: That’s dumb. I just stopped by for some food though. See you later.
(Big B leaves.)
Brandon: I really need a security system. I really need to win my match this week on Sentinel. Winning this match will mean that I am one step closer to stopping The Revolution. By winning, I will be able to choose the stipulation for the match at Distant Whispers. Right now I’m thinking about choosing the Kennel from Hell. Travis Roberts won’t be able to survive that dangerous match. Speaking of Roberts, he gets to be the ref this week. I’m really hoping that me and Kiseragi don’t get screwed. I could see Roberts doing that and making his own stipulation instead. If he does that, then I will make sure his life is a living hell for now on. The Revolution will be stopped. I just have to win this match with Kiseragi though.
(Scene ends.)
Hello. I’m Brandon Brown. You may know me as the former two time GIW Global Heavyweight Champion. I’m known for being a pretty crazy guy but I’ve decided to do away with all that craziness. Now, I’m concentrating on my studies. I never was the best student in class. I was always a big procrastinator. I always did things the last second. This basically killed me in college so I had to settle on this wrestling career instead. I have to say that I made the right choice. I do like to get out a book every so often though. Today I have pulled out this gem of a book. It’s called the History of Dragons.
I’m sure a lot of you GIW fans are wondering why I am reading the History of Dragons. I’ll assume that those of you wondering are just plain stupid. My opponent this week is Alex “The Dragon” Kiseragi. That’s why I’m reading the dragon book. I want to know what dragons are all about. What makes Alex Kiseragi a dragon? I would like to know this answer. He doesn’t look like a dragon. Let’s see what the book says.
(Opens book.) What is a dragon? A dragon is a mythical creature. They have been described as serpents, monsters, and reptiles. They usually have wings and they breathe fire. They may also be magical. (Closes book but leaves a bookmark in to save his place.) I don’t know about you, but I don’t think Kiseragi has anyone of those traits. He might breathe fire but I haven’t seen him do it yet.
(Opens book.) Now dragons have a long history that can be dated all the way back to 4000 B.C. They were said to live almost anywhere and in any place. (Slightly shuts book.) Alex Kiseragi lives in San Francisco. I hear a lot of gay people are from there. I wouldn’t accuse Kiseragi of being gay though. (Opens book.) Saint George once killed a dragon. He killed it with his sword. He then built a church where the dragon died. The church had a spring and the water cured diseases. (Slightly closes book.) If I kill Kiseragi, then can we find the cure for AIDS. I don’t have a sword though.
(Opens book.) A dragon can be good or bad. I guess it depends on the type. Alex Kiseragi is a good dragon. He doesn’t like the Revolution. I don’t like them either. Back to dragons. There are many different colored dragons. Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet. Actually, those are the colors of a rainbow. Indigo never gets enough credit. More common dragons colors are black, red, blue, green, and white. They all have there special powers. Like breathing lightning or poisonous gas. (Slightly closes book.) I wonder if Kiseragi can breathe lightning. I guess it depends on his color. What color is Japanese?
(Opens book.) Dragons are supposed to have a muscular body, thick neck, a horned head, and a tail. I’m pretty sure Kiseragi doesn’t have a horned head or a tail. Goku from the Dragonball series had a tail but it turned him into an ape not a dragon. I guess the eternal dragon granted their wishes though. That’s off the subject though. Dragons are supposed to be hatched from eggs. (Slightly closes book.) I wonder if Kiseragi came out of an egg. The Gobbledy Gooker hatched from an egg.
You know something. I have never played Dungeons and Dragons. It never seemed very interesting to me. I wonder if Kiseragi ever played D&D. Would he have been a dragon? I’m not sure if you can play as dragons. Some dragons have more than one head. Kiseragi only has one.
In conclusion about me talking about dragons, I don’t think Kiseragi really is a dragon. He just says he is to scare people. We all really know he is Japanese. Nobody fears Japanese. We bomb those suckers. Kiseragi says we have to fear the dragon. I fear being anally raped by the guy from San Francisco. You know I don’t think I have seen Kiseragi with a women recently. I actually don’t remember ever seeing him with a women. That makes me wonder. Then again, I haven’t seen Big B with a women in awhile. That’s because he repulses them though. Anyways, Kiseragi is no dragon. He just says that to impress women…or men. Besides, I saw a real dragon the other day. He looked like this.
It even says dragon on him.
(A knock is heard on Brandon’s door.)
Brandon: I’m not expecting any visitors.
(Brandon opens the door to reveal Nicholas Cage.)
Nicholas Cage: I know that you know where another treasure is. Tell me where it is.
Brandon: Cage, I don’t do that stuff anymore. I gave up on treasure hunts and crazy adventures. I want to focus more on my job. That’s what you need to do. Focus on your job. Face it, your last few movies haven’t exactly been great.
Nicholas Cage: What do you mean? I have like nine movies coming out in 2009. By doing so many movies, I will finally win another Oscar.
Brandon: I have a feeling that every one of those movies will suck.
Nicholas Cage: How dare you? I have never made a bad movie in my life. You probably don’t even watch my movies.
Brandon: I do watch for the bad acting. My favorite movie of yours was Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Probably because you don’t have a line in the whole movie.
Nicholas Cage: I hate that movie.
Brandon: How was it like working with Phoebe Cates back in her prime? She was hot back in the early 80s.
Nicholas Cage: I never got to see her.
Brandon: That’s a damn shame. Now, get out of my house.
Nicholas Cage: I’m not leaving until you tell me where this map leads to.
Brandon: You snuck into my house and you stole a map.
Nicholas Cage: I know this leads to treasure but where?
(Another man walks up.)
Man: Gates, he’s got the bloody map.
Brandon: Jesus Christ. Sean Bean. You guys do know that you aren’t your characters from National Treasure.
Sean Bean: How did Gates find that map?
Brandon: He’s a no good thief and his name is Nicholas Cage.
Nicholas Cage: Great, Ian’s here.
Brandon: His name is Sean Bean. He wasn’t even in the sequel.
(Sean Bean pulls out a gun and points it at Cage.)
Sean Bean: Give me the map Gates. I will shoot you.
Nicholas Cage: Ian, you can’t shoot me. You need me to solve the riddle.
Sean Bean: What riddle?
Brandon: There is no riddle. That’s not even a treasure map. It’s a map of the World.
Nicholas Cage: If this isn’t a treasure map, then why is this place in France circled?
Brandon: I can’t tell you why.
Sean Bean: Because there is treasure there.
Brandon: No, there isn’t any treasure there. (Brandon thinks for a second.) You know what? There is treasure there. In fact when you go there, there will be a girl. You must annoy her constantly until she tells you where the treasure is. You two got that?
Nicholas Cage: It’s that simple. There are no riddles to solve.
Brandon: No riddles.
Nicholas Cage: How big is this treasure?
Brandon: It’s best treasure you can ever imagine.
Sean Bean: I will beat you there, Gates.
Nicholas Cage: I will stop you, Ian.
(Cage and Bean race off to the treasure in France.)
Brandon: Payback is a bitch, Kyla. Finally, I can get back to my dragon studies.
(Brandon sees Big B in his house eating his food.)
Big B: I didn’t know you liked dragons.
Brandon: I’m studying them to learn more about Alex Kiseragi.
Big B: Why didn’t you just look at wikipedia. I’m sure they have an article on Kiseragi.
Brandon: Actually, they don’t. I looked. I wanted to learn about dragons though.
Big B: That’s dumb. I just stopped by for some food though. See you later.
(Big B leaves.)
Brandon: I really need a security system. I really need to win my match this week on Sentinel. Winning this match will mean that I am one step closer to stopping The Revolution. By winning, I will be able to choose the stipulation for the match at Distant Whispers. Right now I’m thinking about choosing the Kennel from Hell. Travis Roberts won’t be able to survive that dangerous match. Speaking of Roberts, he gets to be the ref this week. I’m really hoping that me and Kiseragi don’t get screwed. I could see Roberts doing that and making his own stipulation instead. If he does that, then I will make sure his life is a living hell for now on. The Revolution will be stopped. I just have to win this match with Kiseragi though.
(Scene ends.)