Post by brandonbrown on Jul 25, 2009 21:52:46 GMT -5
The Following is a GIW.com exclusive
(The camera shows an empty GIW arena. There is a man standing in the ring. The man is Brandon Brown. Brandon has a desk and a computer in the ring.)
Hello. I am your soon to be three time Global Heavyweight Champion Brandon Brown. For all you loyal GIW fans out there that go to the GIW.com website, in this exclusive I will be revealing the match stipulation for the triple threat match at Distant Whispers. I have been getting emails all week from fans asking me what kind of match am I going to choose. I certainly have a lot of choices to choose from. I need a match though where I can punish my two opponents. A match where I can destroy the Revolution. By the way, I must thank Travis Roberts for choosing me as the victor of my match at the last Sentinel. I have no idea why he chose me but I’ll make sure that it was the wrong choice.
Now, this is a live GIW.com show so you can send me emails right now and I will read them right now. I’m sure my loyal fans are typing like crazy right now just to see me read their email. It looks like I got one. It’s from a guy named Carson. He lives in Cincinnati. Carson writes.
Dear Brandon,
I know that you like to do a lot of high flying moves and stuff like that. So why don’t you choose a match that involves that kind of stuff. I personally want you to choose a Ladder Match. GIW hasn’t had a Ladder Match in a long time and I really want to see one again. I think you could win that kind of match. I really do.
Thanks for the email, Carson. I believe GIW hasn’t had a Ladder Match since Infinity. I may be wrong though. I love Ladder Matches. They are always fun to watch and you know something big will happen. Sadly though, I will not be choosing a Ladder Match. I don’t think a Ladder Match can serve up the punishment I want to do to Travis Roberts. It was a good suggestion though, Carson. I have another one from Berta in California.
Dear Brandon,
Why don’t you choose a match that you are a proven winner at? You could choose a Last Man Standing Match or a Stretcher Match. Those two matches you had with Declan Prescott and Lord, Deathman were classics. I would love to see one of those matches again.
You raise a good point, Berta. I have one a Last Man Standing Match and a Stretcher Match this year. I have some problems with those matches though. A triple threat Last Man Standing Match would be tough since I would have to knock both opponents out for ten seconds. A triple threat Stretcher Match would probably be similar to the Last Ride Match we had earlier this year. I don’t want to go through another one of those matches though. They were smart ideas though, Berta. Next up, we have Tony from Texas.
Dear Brandon,
Hi, I’m Tony. I’m new to wrestling and I would like to see this one match I’ve heard of. I think it’s called an Ironman Match. My girlfriend, Jessica, thinks it is called an Iron Chef Match. Either way, I want to see one of those.
It’s good to see new fans, Tony. A triple threat Ironman Match would be hectic. I guess the most falls would win like a normal Ironman Match. I have to admit I’ve never seen a triple threat Ironman Match so it would be interesting. I don’t have time to condition for one of those though. As for an Iron Chef Match, I’m not much of a cook. I always go out to eat. So we won’t be seeing one of those matches. Anyways, I’m liking all the suggestions that I’m getting so far. Keep sending me emails. I have a new one from a guy named…..Big B. Great, I can’t wait to read this one.
Dear Brandon,
Why does everyone put Dear, Brandon at the beginning of these things? I was just wondering if we were ordering pizza later. I’m starving right now. Sorry, you probably want a match suggestion. How about a Hot Dog Eating Contest? I could train you. You might become as good as me.
We are ordering pizza later, Big B. As for the Hot Dog Eating Contest, I want to punish Travis Roberts. I don’t want to feed him. It might work if his stomach explodes. So the Hot Dog Eating Contest is a no go. It would be a good choice for you though in the future, Big B. I just got another email. It’s from Harry. He is from London.
Dear Brandon,
I heard earlier that you shot down the Ladder Match idea. I heard you say that the Ladder Match wouldn’t be punishing enough for Travis Roberts. So how about you take it one step further. How about a Tables, Ladders, and Chairs Match? That surely can bring Roberts enough punishment. What do you think? I’m going to the Pay Per View regardless of what match you choose.
A Tables, Ladders, and Chairs Match is an awesome idea. It definitely would bring Travis Roberts punishment. But I will not be choosing a TLC Match. It was an excellent suggestion, Harry. It’s not what I’m looking for though. You sound like you know your wrestling though. Thanks for the email. Let’s see, here is one from Nicholas. He is apparently living in France. Okay, hopefully he suggests something good.
Dear Brandon,
The treasure you sent me after could not be found. All we found was some girl and some guy. They said that they didn’t know where any treasure was. Ian thought they were lying so he took them hostage. I don’t know what to do. I want that treasure badly but Ian has the two people living here. She asked us who sent us here. We told you it was you. She got very angry. She says if she ever sees you again that she will make your life a living hell. By the way, I suggest a Nicholas Cage Match.
How did I not figure out that was Cage. How many times do I have to tell Cage that Sean Bean’s name isn’t Ian. Bean kidnapped my ex-girlfriend and her boyfriend just so he could get treasure. That man is desperate. It serves Kyla right though. She now knows I sent those two idiots though. I better watch out for her. No, there will be no Nicholas Cage Match. I’d win it though. Most GIW fans have no idea what I am rambling about right now. Back to emails though. We have one from a Hamato Yoshi.
Dear Brandon,
As a Japanese man, I am a big fan of Alex Kiseragi. You haven’t mentioned him much. It seems kind of disrespectful not to mention him. He will probably win the match at Distant Whispers. Alex Kiseragi is a better wrestler than you and Roberts will ever be. Kiseragi is also not gay. As for the match, I want to see an Inferno Match.
Kiseragi is not my main target for the match. I want to take out Travis Roberts. If Kiseragi gets in my way, then I’ll have to take him out also. I respect Kiseragi’s abilities. I’m happy to be teaming up with him this week on Sentinel against Boolz and Chen. It should be a fun match. As for Kiseragi being gay, that got blown out of proportion. It was just a joke. I don’t believe he is gay. I like the sound of an Inferno Match. I would love to light Roberts on fire but I’m going to have to pass. Thanks for the email, Yoshi. Okay, I will read one more email. This is from Sarah who lives in Alaska.
Dear Brandon,
I think it would be wonderful if you chose another Battleground Match. That match was so innovative and wonderful. The match was just like my friend, John. John is a man who will make hockey moms everywhere proud. My friend John is on a Battleground right now. He needs your support. Please vote for him. I’ll let you have sex with my daughter.
A Battleground Match two months in a row. No thank you. I still have barbed wire scars. This John guy sounds like he needs some help. Too bad I won’t be one to help him. He won’t be getting my vote. I don’t know what I’m voting for anyway. You never specified, Sarah. As for an offer to have sex with your daughter, I’ll take it as long as she isn’t pregnant. Thanks for the email, Sarah. I don’t want another Battleground Match though.
I’ll be honest with the GIW fans though. I have appreciated all of your suggestions but I already knew what match I wanted. I just wanted to see what you fans had in mind. I love the idea of TLC, Last Man Standing, Stretcher, Ironman, and even an Inferno Match but those all pale in comparison to the match I want. So without further ado, Brandon Brown has made his decision. He based his criteria on style, control, damage, and aggression. Just kidding, that’s how they decided winners on Robot Wars. Now onto the match. At Distant Whispers, it will be Travis Roberts defending the Global Heavyweight Championship against Brandon Brown and Alex Kiseragi in a……TRIPLE CAGE MATCH!!!
(The camera shows an empty GIW arena. There is a man standing in the ring. The man is Brandon Brown. Brandon has a desk and a computer in the ring.)
Hello. I am your soon to be three time Global Heavyweight Champion Brandon Brown. For all you loyal GIW fans out there that go to the GIW.com website, in this exclusive I will be revealing the match stipulation for the triple threat match at Distant Whispers. I have been getting emails all week from fans asking me what kind of match am I going to choose. I certainly have a lot of choices to choose from. I need a match though where I can punish my two opponents. A match where I can destroy the Revolution. By the way, I must thank Travis Roberts for choosing me as the victor of my match at the last Sentinel. I have no idea why he chose me but I’ll make sure that it was the wrong choice.
Now, this is a live GIW.com show so you can send me emails right now and I will read them right now. I’m sure my loyal fans are typing like crazy right now just to see me read their email. It looks like I got one. It’s from a guy named Carson. He lives in Cincinnati. Carson writes.
Dear Brandon,
I know that you like to do a lot of high flying moves and stuff like that. So why don’t you choose a match that involves that kind of stuff. I personally want you to choose a Ladder Match. GIW hasn’t had a Ladder Match in a long time and I really want to see one again. I think you could win that kind of match. I really do.
Thanks for reading,
Carson
Carson
Thanks for the email, Carson. I believe GIW hasn’t had a Ladder Match since Infinity. I may be wrong though. I love Ladder Matches. They are always fun to watch and you know something big will happen. Sadly though, I will not be choosing a Ladder Match. I don’t think a Ladder Match can serve up the punishment I want to do to Travis Roberts. It was a good suggestion though, Carson. I have another one from Berta in California.
Dear Brandon,
Why don’t you choose a match that you are a proven winner at? You could choose a Last Man Standing Match or a Stretcher Match. Those two matches you had with Declan Prescott and Lord, Deathman were classics. I would love to see one of those matches again.
From,
Berta
Berta
You raise a good point, Berta. I have one a Last Man Standing Match and a Stretcher Match this year. I have some problems with those matches though. A triple threat Last Man Standing Match would be tough since I would have to knock both opponents out for ten seconds. A triple threat Stretcher Match would probably be similar to the Last Ride Match we had earlier this year. I don’t want to go through another one of those matches though. They were smart ideas though, Berta. Next up, we have Tony from Texas.
Dear Brandon,
Hi, I’m Tony. I’m new to wrestling and I would like to see this one match I’ve heard of. I think it’s called an Ironman Match. My girlfriend, Jessica, thinks it is called an Iron Chef Match. Either way, I want to see one of those.
Sincerely,
Tony
Tony
It’s good to see new fans, Tony. A triple threat Ironman Match would be hectic. I guess the most falls would win like a normal Ironman Match. I have to admit I’ve never seen a triple threat Ironman Match so it would be interesting. I don’t have time to condition for one of those though. As for an Iron Chef Match, I’m not much of a cook. I always go out to eat. So we won’t be seeing one of those matches. Anyways, I’m liking all the suggestions that I’m getting so far. Keep sending me emails. I have a new one from a guy named…..Big B. Great, I can’t wait to read this one.
Dear Brandon,
Why does everyone put Dear, Brandon at the beginning of these things? I was just wondering if we were ordering pizza later. I’m starving right now. Sorry, you probably want a match suggestion. How about a Hot Dog Eating Contest? I could train you. You might become as good as me.
Remember to order pizza,
Big B
Big B
We are ordering pizza later, Big B. As for the Hot Dog Eating Contest, I want to punish Travis Roberts. I don’t want to feed him. It might work if his stomach explodes. So the Hot Dog Eating Contest is a no go. It would be a good choice for you though in the future, Big B. I just got another email. It’s from Harry. He is from London.
Dear Brandon,
I heard earlier that you shot down the Ladder Match idea. I heard you say that the Ladder Match wouldn’t be punishing enough for Travis Roberts. So how about you take it one step further. How about a Tables, Ladders, and Chairs Match? That surely can bring Roberts enough punishment. What do you think? I’m going to the Pay Per View regardless of what match you choose.
Cheerio,
Harry
Harry
A Tables, Ladders, and Chairs Match is an awesome idea. It definitely would bring Travis Roberts punishment. But I will not be choosing a TLC Match. It was an excellent suggestion, Harry. It’s not what I’m looking for though. You sound like you know your wrestling though. Thanks for the email. Let’s see, here is one from Nicholas. He is apparently living in France. Okay, hopefully he suggests something good.
Dear Brandon,
The treasure you sent me after could not be found. All we found was some girl and some guy. They said that they didn’t know where any treasure was. Ian thought they were lying so he took them hostage. I don’t know what to do. I want that treasure badly but Ian has the two people living here. She asked us who sent us here. We told you it was you. She got very angry. She says if she ever sees you again that she will make your life a living hell. By the way, I suggest a Nicholas Cage Match.
Your best friend,
Nicholas Cage
Nicholas Cage
How did I not figure out that was Cage. How many times do I have to tell Cage that Sean Bean’s name isn’t Ian. Bean kidnapped my ex-girlfriend and her boyfriend just so he could get treasure. That man is desperate. It serves Kyla right though. She now knows I sent those two idiots though. I better watch out for her. No, there will be no Nicholas Cage Match. I’d win it though. Most GIW fans have no idea what I am rambling about right now. Back to emails though. We have one from a Hamato Yoshi.
Dear Brandon,
As a Japanese man, I am a big fan of Alex Kiseragi. You haven’t mentioned him much. It seems kind of disrespectful not to mention him. He will probably win the match at Distant Whispers. Alex Kiseragi is a better wrestler than you and Roberts will ever be. Kiseragi is also not gay. As for the match, I want to see an Inferno Match.
Cowabunga,
Hamato Yoshi
Hamato Yoshi
Kiseragi is not my main target for the match. I want to take out Travis Roberts. If Kiseragi gets in my way, then I’ll have to take him out also. I respect Kiseragi’s abilities. I’m happy to be teaming up with him this week on Sentinel against Boolz and Chen. It should be a fun match. As for Kiseragi being gay, that got blown out of proportion. It was just a joke. I don’t believe he is gay. I like the sound of an Inferno Match. I would love to light Roberts on fire but I’m going to have to pass. Thanks for the email, Yoshi. Okay, I will read one more email. This is from Sarah who lives in Alaska.
Dear Brandon,
I think it would be wonderful if you chose another Battleground Match. That match was so innovative and wonderful. The match was just like my friend, John. John is a man who will make hockey moms everywhere proud. My friend John is on a Battleground right now. He needs your support. Please vote for him. I’ll let you have sex with my daughter.
Love,
Sarah
Sarah
A Battleground Match two months in a row. No thank you. I still have barbed wire scars. This John guy sounds like he needs some help. Too bad I won’t be one to help him. He won’t be getting my vote. I don’t know what I’m voting for anyway. You never specified, Sarah. As for an offer to have sex with your daughter, I’ll take it as long as she isn’t pregnant. Thanks for the email, Sarah. I don’t want another Battleground Match though.
I’ll be honest with the GIW fans though. I have appreciated all of your suggestions but I already knew what match I wanted. I just wanted to see what you fans had in mind. I love the idea of TLC, Last Man Standing, Stretcher, Ironman, and even an Inferno Match but those all pale in comparison to the match I want. So without further ado, Brandon Brown has made his decision. He based his criteria on style, control, damage, and aggression. Just kidding, that’s how they decided winners on Robot Wars. Now onto the match. At Distant Whispers, it will be Travis Roberts defending the Global Heavyweight Championship against Brandon Brown and Alex Kiseragi in a……TRIPLE CAGE MATCH!!!