Post by brandonbrown on Jul 25, 2009 21:54:20 GMT -5
(The scene opens with GIW Janitor Bones mopping the floors of the boiler room.)
Bones: J….j….just you wait, Shooter. One of these d….d….days. We will nab us a wo…woo…women.
(Bones picks up Shooter the rat and strokes it in a weird way.)
Bones: Yes.
(Boolz comes running into the boiler room.)
Boolz: Bones, have you seen my Red Bull. I had a whole lot stolen right from underneath me. Can you help me?
Bones: Can you bring me a la…la….lady friend?
Boolz: On second thought, I think I will look elsewhere.
?: I believe I may be of assistance.
(Out of the darkness, a cane is heard hitting the floor.)
Boolz: Marlo the Beautiful.
Marlo: Nothing gets past you. I hear you are having some trouble with your Red Bull. Come with me if you need some help.
Boolz: I don’t want to but I have no other choice.
(Boolz leaves with Marlo.)
Bones: Some st…st…strange people around here, Shooter. Hey, aren’t we in L…Lon…London, Shooter? We should check this place out instead of staying in the boiler room.
(Bones makes his way out of the boiler room with his mop and shooter in hand.)
Bones: Look Shooter, it’s Big B….B…B… Brown.
Big B: Bones, what are you doing out of the boiler room. Nobody wants to see your ugly face out here.
(Bones wipes Big B’s face with his mop.)
Big B: You’re going to pay for that.
Bones: Wa…Wa..Wait.
(Just as Big B is about to attack, Gabrielle walks out of the women’s locker room. The women’s locker room just happens to be across the hall from the boiler room. Gabrielle also for some reason thinks it is a good idea to stretch right in front of Big B and Bones.)
Big B: Would you look at that?
Bones: I want th…th….that.
(Drool just starts coming out of Bones’ mouth. Gabrielle doesn’t even notice the two men watching her.)
Bones: I will get her.
(Gabrielle walks off just as Bones dove at her. She didn’t even notice him.)
Big B: Bones, she didn’t notice we were here. I actually forgot what we were arguing about so I’ll leave you alone for now.
(Big B leaves.)
Bones: I guess I’ll just keep looking around. Shooter, where are you? I lost my Shooter.
(Bones heads around a few corners looking for Shooter. Bones hears a loud thud.)
Bones: I w..wo..wonder what that was.
(A loud girlish scream is heard.)
Bones: I don’t want to go back now.
(Bones keeps wondering the halls before he sees Sir Paul McCartney.)
Bones: Sir Paul Mc…Mc…McCartney. What are you doing here.
Paul McCartney: I’m performing before the show. I’ll get the crowd ready to go before those wrestling blokes get in there and tear each other to shreds.
Bones: Wow.
Paul McCartney: Elton John is also supposed to be here but I can’t seem to find him.
Bones: What if some..something happened to Elton.
Paul McCartney: It would be a drag, wouldn’t it?
Bones: Yes.
Paul McCartney: I must go now. What are you anyway, a dustman?
Bones: I’m a janitor.
Paul McCartney: Same bloody thing. Now, I’m off to get me a fizzy drink.
(Paul McCartney leaves.)
Bones: Bones is having an interesting day. I still can’t find Shooter though. I must keep try..trying.
(Bones walks out of the arena. He has to shield his eyes for a few seconds because he isn’t used to the flight.)
Bones: This is why I always stay in the cargo box…boxes.
British Guy: Blimey, where did you come from? It looks like you have been mullered a few times. Maybe you are just on the piss.
Bones: I don’t under..under…under….understand.
British Guy: Are you telling me you aren’t rat arsed?
Bones: You’re confusing me. I just want to find Shooter.
(Bones attacks the British Guy and knocks him out with his mop.)
Bones: You don’t use fan….fancy words when talking to Bon…Bon…Bones.
(Bones starts looking around and he sees all these people staring at him.)
Bones: He had it com…comi…coming.
(Bones then looks across the street and he sees this beautiful girl arguing with a guy that looks familiar.)
Bones: Wo….Wom…WOMEN!!!
(Bones runs into the street and he gets hit by a speeding car. Two more cars go flying by after the first one. It turns out that the familiar guy Bones saw was Brandon Brown.)
Brandon: Hey, that’s Bones. What is the GIW Janitor doing out here?
?: You work for GIW. You should know.
Brandon: Shut up, Kyla. Go talk to your French boyfriend.
Kyla: Why don’t you just send two more idiots to my house?
Brandon: Those two won’t be going back to your house. I gave them some ridiculous map that leads to nowhere.
Kyla: You shouldn’t have sent them in the first place.
Brandon: You were a lot nicer when we were dating.
Kyla: You weren’t some psychopath when we were dating.
Brandon: I’m over that now. I’m back to normal.
British Women: Would you two divs stop arguing? This man needs help.
Brandon: What is a div? Oh, screw it. Can somebody help this guy?
?: I believe I might be of assistance.
Brandon: It’s David Bowie.
David Bowie: Exactly. What is the problem?
Brandon: He was hit by a car.
David Bowie: That’s always a problem but with a little David Bowie magic, he’ll be as good as new.
(David Bowie starts doing anything he can to help Bones and somehow Bones wakes up.)
Bones: Wha….What happened?
David Bowie: You were hit by a car.
Bones: I was after wo…wo..women.
David Bowie: Well, that doesn’t matter. You will be fine.
Bones: There is the women.
Brandon: Kyla, he is looking at you. I’d say he is an improvement over your current French boyfriend.
Kyla: Gross.
(Bones jumps at Kyla but she dodges and she lands a kick to Bones’ face.)
Brandon: You learned all your moves from me.
Kyla: Whatever.
Bones: I just want women.
(The car that hit Bones earlier comes flying back by but it loses control and the two cars chasing the first car also crash.)
Brandon: Holy Shit.
Bones: Da…Da…Damn.
(A case of Red Bull flies into Bones’ arms.)
Bones: Wow.
(Marlo the Beautiful’s Day)
Boolz: Bones, have you seen my Red Bull. I had a whole lot stolen right from underneath me. Can you help me?
Bones: Can you bring me a la…la….lady friend?
Boolz: On second thought, I think I will look elsewhere.
?: I believe I may be of assistance.
(Out of the darkness, a cane is heard hitting the floor.)
Boolz: Marlo the Beautiful.
Marlo: Nothing gets past you. I hear you are having some trouble with your Red Bull. Come with me if you need some help.
Boolz: I don’t want to but I have no other choice.
(Marlo and Boolz leave Bones.)
Boolz: So are you going to tell me where my Red Bull is.
Marlo: I will once you can get Declan to stop having multi man matches.
Boolz: You’re still complaining about that. I just want my damn Red Bull.
Marlo: It’s not that easy, Boolz. As you may know, I am witty, smart, and collected. It says so in my profile. You want be getting your Red Bull if you can’t do something for me.
Boolz: I’m not going to do anything for you.
Marlo: Have it your way.
(Marlo presses a button on the wall with his cane. A giant net falls down in front of Boolz.)
Boolz: Your net was a little off.
Marlo: I always have a backup plan.
(Marlo presses another button and a cage comes crashing down behind Boolz.)
Boolz: You were off again.
Marlo: Why you?
(Marlo throws his cane at Boolz but Boolz catches it.)
Boolz: Hey, I have your cane now. Can we get my Red Bull now?
Marlo: No, we can’t get your Red Bull.
(Marlo runs at Boolz but Boolz smacks Marlo with the cane.)
Boolz: Look at that. Your own weapon was used against you. You do know that I’m the Hardcore Champion, don’t you?
Marlo: Of course I do. I just lost my balance and I tripped into the cane.
Boolz: Okay. I’ll beat you without the cane.
(Boolz throws the cane on the floor.)
Marlo: Nobody can beat me without any weapons.
(Boolz and Marlo start trading punches)
Marlo: I will win with “The Wicked Side of Beauty.”
(Boolz reverses it into his SoberingThoughts move.)
Boolz: Do you give up? I want my Red Bull.
Marlo: I will never give up.
Boolz: I’ll just have to beat you more.
(Boolz steps back and trips on Marlo’s cane. Boolz hits his head on a piano. Marlo picks Boolz up and locks him inside the piano.)
Marlo: Nobody messes with Marlo the Beautiful. I am a genius.
(Marlo leaves Boolz.)
Marlo: It’s a good day to be me.
(Gabrielle walks past Marlo.)
Marlo: She’s not Karma the Handsome.
(Marlo keeps walking before he slips and falls.)
Marlo: Ow. What is this stuff? Is this drool? This is disgusting. I’m covered in it.
(Bones’ rat, Shooter, jumps on Marlo and stares at him.
Marlo: EEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!
(Shooter pees on Marlo and runs away.)
Marlo: You hideous disgusting creature. I am Marlo the Beautiful. I don’t tolerate this. I will get you.
(Marlo starts chasing Shooter through the halls.)
Marlo: You will never disgrace me again. I’d rather lose a match on purpose than have a rat pee on me.
(Marlo runs around smacking the ground with his cane. He keeps missing Shooter.)
Marlo: You ingrate. I will get you.
(Marlo stops for a second.)
Marlo: Is that Paul McCartney in there?
Paul McCartney: This is a good fizzy drink.
Marlo: I have no time to worry about Sir Paul. I must kill that rat.
(Marlo comes to a four way stop in the hallway.)
Marlo: He had to have gone in one of these three directions.
(All of a sudden two men come running through the hallway. The first man appeared to have a case of Red Bull.)
Marlo: Who were those men? They must have been the ones to take the Red Bull.
(Boolz goes running by without noticing Marlo.)
Marlo: How did he escape? No matter. I will deal with him after I deal with the rat.
(Marlo decides to go straight.)
Marlo: Somebody around here has to know where that rat is.
?: I believe I may be of assistance.
Marlo: It’s David Bowie.
David Bowie: Exactly. What is the problem?
Marlo: I’m chasing a rat. He took a piss on my face.
David Bowie: Clever, aren’t they?
Marlo: Yes. So have you seen one?
David Bowie: I saw one scurry by earlier.
Marlo: Where?
David Bowie: I’ll lead you to it.
(Bowie and Marlo head outside.)
David Bowie: I can’t seem to find it.
(A loud thud is heard.)
Marlo: What was that?
David Bowie: That man was hit by a car. I’ll go check it out.
(Bowie goes to check it out.)
Marlo: I don’t see that rat anywhere.
(Marlo looks around and he falls over some knocked out British guy.)
Marlo: Stupid knocked out British guys.
(Shooter jumps on Marlo and poops on his chest.)
Marlo: Damn you.
(Marlo hits Shooter with his cane.)
Marlo: Now, I will finish you. This can also be a sword.
(Marlo goes to stab Shooter but the British guy awakens and grabs Marlo’s leg. The cane sword flies out of Marlo’s hand.)
British Guy: What kind of purple haired bloke are you?
Marlo: Get off of me.
(Marlo kicks the British guy in the face.)
Marlo: Jerk. Where is that rat?
(All of a sudden, three cars crash in front of Marlo.)
(Boolz’s day.)
Boolz: I can’t find my Red Bull anywhere. I put my case right here. Somebody must have took it. I already have enough things to worry about and now I have to worry about my Red Bull being missing.
(Boolz looks goes all over the building but he still can’t find his Red Bull.)
Boolz: The only place I haven’t checked is the boiler room which is odd since I checked the girl’s locker room first. I hope Bones knows where my Red Bull is at.
(Boolz goes in the boiler room.)
Boolz: Bones, have you seen my Red Bull. I had a whole lot stolen right from underneath me. Can you help me?
Bones: Can you bring me a la…la….lady friend?
Boolz: On second thought, I think I will look elsewhere.
?: I believe I may be of assistance.
(Out of the darkness, a cane is heard hitting the floor.)
Boolz: Marlo the Beautiful.
Marlo: Nothing gets past you. I hear you are having some trouble with your Red Bull. Come with me if you need some help.
Boolz: I don’t want to but I have no other choice.
(Marlo and Boolz leave Bones.)
Boolz: So are you going to tell me where my Red Bull is.
Marlo: I will once you can get Declan to stop having multi man matches.
Boolz: You’re still complaining about that. I just want my damn Red Bull.
Marlo: It’s not that easy, Boolz. As you may know, I am witty, smart, and collected. It says so in my profile. You want be getting your Red Bull if you can’t do something for me.
Boolz: I’m not going to do anything for you.
Marlo: Have it your way.
(Marlo presses a button on the wall with his cane. A giant net falls down in front of Boolz.)
Boolz: Your net was a little off.
Marlo: I always have a backup plan.
(Marlo presses another button and a cage comes crashing down behind Boolz.)
Boolz: You were off again.
Marlo: Why you?
(Marlo throws his cane at Boolz but Boolz catches it.)
Boolz: Hey, I have your cane now. Can we get my Red Bull now?
Marlo: No, we can’t get your Red Bull.
(Marlo runs at Boolz but Boolz smacks Marlo with the cane.)
Boolz: Look at that. Your own weapon was used against you. You do know that I’m the Hardcore Champion, don’t you?
Marlo: Of course I do. I just lost my balance and I tripped into the cane.
Boolz: Okay. I’ll beat you without the cane.
(Boolz throws the cane on the floor.)
Marlo: Nobody can beat me without any weapons.
(Boolz and Marlo start trading punches)
Marlo: I will win with “The Wicked Side of Beauty.”
(Boolz reverses it into his SoberingThoughts move.)
Boolz: Do you give up? I want my Red Bull.
Marlo: I will never give up.
Boolz: I’ll just have to beat you more.
(Boolz steps back and trips on Marlo’s cane. Boolz hits his head on a piano. Marlo picks Boolz up and locks him inside the piano.)
Marlo: Nobody messes with Marlo the Beautiful. I am a genius.
(Marlo leaves.)
Boolz: (Yelling) Help, I’m stuck in this piano. Somebody get me out of here. This sucks I’m never going to get out. I just want my Red Bull.
(Somebody opens the piano.)
?: How did you get in my piano?
Boolz: Elton John.
Elton John: Yes, that’s me. So how did a strapping young man like you get stuck in there. Is it my birthday?
Boolz: Some jackass locked me in here. I’ll get my revenge on him. What are you doing here, Elton?
Elton John: I’m performing before the show.
Boolz: Cool.
Elton John: Something seems to be troubling you.
Boolz: Somebody stole my case of Red Bull.
Elton John: No. That’s not it. Something else seems to be troubling you.
Boolz: It’s this match I have. I’m fighting a women.
Elton John: Those disgusting things. Why on earth would you want to wrestle one of them?
Boolz: I was forced to. It’s also a first blood match for my hardcore title. What should I do?
Elton John: Beat the shit out of her. The world will be a better place with one last women in it.
Boolz: Okay, I guess.
Elton John: I hope you listened well. Anyways, I have to go get me some fizzy drinks with Paul McCartney. Goodbye.
(Elton John walks away.)
Boolz: I wish I could find my Red Bull. What’s that racket?
(Boolz hears arguing coming from down the hallway.)
?: I don’t think this is the treasure, Ian.
(Boolz looks to see who it is.)
Boolz: Is that Nicholas Cage and Sean Bean?
Sean Bean: Gates, give me the bloody map. It says the treasure was there. We looked there and we found this Red Bull.
Nicholas Cage: Why would the treasure be Red Bull, Ian? That’s stupid.
Sean Bean: You’re stupid, Gates.
Boolz: Hey. That’s my Red Bull, you thieves.
Sean Bean: The treasure is mine.
(Sean Bean runs off.)
Nicholas Cage: Come back here, Ian.
(Cage chases after Bean.)
Boolz: I can’t believe they stole my Red Bull.
(Boolz goes running after Cage and Bean.)
Sean Bean: It’s my treasure, Gates.
Nicholas Cage: The treasure is for the world, Ian.
Boolz: Your names are Nicholas Cage and Sean Bean. There is no Ian and Gates.
(They run past Marlo the Beautiful.)
Sean Bean: Did that guy have purple hair?
Nicholas Cage: I think it was a girl.
Boolz: I’ll get my revenge on Marlo later.
(They head into the parking lot. Bean quickly locates his car and heads out.)
Nicholas Cage: Damn, where is my car. There it is.
(Nicholas Cage gets in his car and heads after Bean.)
Boolz: This would be a good time to have the U-Suk Mobile. I couldn’t bring it to London though. I’m going to have to steal a car.
?: There’s no need for that.
Boolz: Paul McCartney.
Paul McCartney: I just had my fizzy drink so I’m ready to give you a ride.
Boolz: Where’s Elton?
Paul McCartney: He’s still finishing his drink. He was a tad late.
Boolz: Whatever, I want my Red Bull. I’ll ride with you but I’m driving.
(Boolz gets in Paul’s car and they chase after Cage and Bean. Cage has closed in on Bean and they are now side to side.)
Sean Bean: It’s not your treasure, Gates. I will do whatever I want with it.
Nicholas Cage: Ian, you are insane. You need to slow down.
(Boolz pulls up making it three wide.)
Boolz: I want my Red Bull.
Paul McCartney: Isn’t this dangerous. Lucky for us, traffic is slow today.
(They file back into a line with Bean leading.)
Sean Bean: I will win.
(Bean sticks his head out the window.)
Sean Bean: You can’t catch me, Gates.
Nicholas Cage: Look out.
(Sean Bean runs over Bones.)
Sean Bean: What was that guy doing in the road?
Nicholas Cage: This is going to far, Ian.
Paul McCartney: I talked to that guy that got ran over earlier today.
Boolz: I think that was Bones.
Sean Bean: I bet they won’t expect me to go in a complete circle.
Nicholas Cage: Why are we going in a complete circle?
Paul McCartney: I still say we are lucky there is no traffic today.
Boolz: Those two are going in a circle, we must follow.
(They complete their circle.)
Sean Bean: I will get away. Wait, is that a sword in the road? I can’t stop to avoid it.
(Sean Bean’s tire gets blown on the sword and he crashes. Cage and Boolz crash into Bean’s car. The case of Red Bull flies into the arms of Bones. Brandon Brown approaches the wrecked cars.)
Brandon: I should have known. Bean and Cage, what are you idiots doing?
Sean Bean: We followed that map you gave us. It led us to that case of Red Bull.
Nicholas Cage: I don’t think the Red Bull was the actual treasure.
Brandon: There was no treasure. I drew this map just to keep you morons occupied. I guess you two still found a way to cause trouble.
(Boolz gets out of his wreckage with Sir Paul.)
Boolz: Bones, is that my case of Red Bull?
Bones: It.it…it. is. Here you go.
(Bones hands over the case of Red Bull.)
Brandon: Sorry about these two idiots, Boolz. I’ll give them a more complicated fake map next time. Good luck at Distant Whispers.
Boolz: You too.
Brandon: I wouldn’t mind if you chose to fight me at Horizons. I would consider it an honor.
Boolz: I’ll consider choosing you.
Marlo: Boolz. I will now finish you off.
Boolz: I don’t think so.
(Marlo runs after Boolz but Boolz hits him with the DiscomBoolzalator.)
Boolz: You deserved that.
Brandon: Hold him up so I can Superkick him.
(Boolz holds up Marlo and Brandon Superkicks Marlo.)
Brandon: Good Job.
Bones: Does anyone know where Sh…Sh….Shooter is?
?: I believe I may be of assistance.
All: David Bowie.
David Bowie: Exactly. I have your rat right here.
Bones: Th…Th…Thank you.
(Elton John comes running out.)
Elton John: I finished my fizzy drink. Did I miss anything?
Paul McCartney: Yes, you did.
(Everybody laughs.)
Brandon: Good luck at Distant Whispers, Boolz. That Chinatsu is a tough cookie. She pinned me even.
Boolz: Good luck to you too. I’ll do my best to make her bleed.
Brandon: I’ll do my best to kill The Revolution and become a three time Global Heavyweight Champion.
Boolz: Hey, what’s that music?
Brandon: I know. Ladies and Gentleman, Mr. Burt Bacharach.
Burt Bacharach: What the world needs now is love, sweet love. It’s the only thing that there’s just too little of.
Boolz: This has been a hectic day. I need to drink a Red Bull.
(Boolz takes a drink of his Red Bull and the scene fades to black.)
Bones: J….j….just you wait, Shooter. One of these d….d….days. We will nab us a wo…woo…women.
(Bones picks up Shooter the rat and strokes it in a weird way.)
Bones: Yes.
(Boolz comes running into the boiler room.)
Boolz: Bones, have you seen my Red Bull. I had a whole lot stolen right from underneath me. Can you help me?
Bones: Can you bring me a la…la….lady friend?
Boolz: On second thought, I think I will look elsewhere.
?: I believe I may be of assistance.
(Out of the darkness, a cane is heard hitting the floor.)
Boolz: Marlo the Beautiful.
Marlo: Nothing gets past you. I hear you are having some trouble with your Red Bull. Come with me if you need some help.
Boolz: I don’t want to but I have no other choice.
(Boolz leaves with Marlo.)
Bones: Some st…st…strange people around here, Shooter. Hey, aren’t we in L…Lon…London, Shooter? We should check this place out instead of staying in the boiler room.
(Bones makes his way out of the boiler room with his mop and shooter in hand.)
Bones: Look Shooter, it’s Big B….B…B… Brown.
Big B: Bones, what are you doing out of the boiler room. Nobody wants to see your ugly face out here.
(Bones wipes Big B’s face with his mop.)
Big B: You’re going to pay for that.
Bones: Wa…Wa..Wait.
(Just as Big B is about to attack, Gabrielle walks out of the women’s locker room. The women’s locker room just happens to be across the hall from the boiler room. Gabrielle also for some reason thinks it is a good idea to stretch right in front of Big B and Bones.)
Big B: Would you look at that?
Bones: I want th…th….that.
(Drool just starts coming out of Bones’ mouth. Gabrielle doesn’t even notice the two men watching her.)
Bones: I will get her.
(Gabrielle walks off just as Bones dove at her. She didn’t even notice him.)
Big B: Bones, she didn’t notice we were here. I actually forgot what we were arguing about so I’ll leave you alone for now.
(Big B leaves.)
Bones: I guess I’ll just keep looking around. Shooter, where are you? I lost my Shooter.
(Bones heads around a few corners looking for Shooter. Bones hears a loud thud.)
Bones: I w..wo..wonder what that was.
(A loud girlish scream is heard.)
Bones: I don’t want to go back now.
(Bones keeps wondering the halls before he sees Sir Paul McCartney.)
Bones: Sir Paul Mc…Mc…McCartney. What are you doing here.
Paul McCartney: I’m performing before the show. I’ll get the crowd ready to go before those wrestling blokes get in there and tear each other to shreds.
Bones: Wow.
Paul McCartney: Elton John is also supposed to be here but I can’t seem to find him.
Bones: What if some..something happened to Elton.
Paul McCartney: It would be a drag, wouldn’t it?
Bones: Yes.
Paul McCartney: I must go now. What are you anyway, a dustman?
Bones: I’m a janitor.
Paul McCartney: Same bloody thing. Now, I’m off to get me a fizzy drink.
(Paul McCartney leaves.)
Bones: Bones is having an interesting day. I still can’t find Shooter though. I must keep try..trying.
(Bones walks out of the arena. He has to shield his eyes for a few seconds because he isn’t used to the flight.)
Bones: This is why I always stay in the cargo box…boxes.
British Guy: Blimey, where did you come from? It looks like you have been mullered a few times. Maybe you are just on the piss.
Bones: I don’t under..under…under….understand.
British Guy: Are you telling me you aren’t rat arsed?
Bones: You’re confusing me. I just want to find Shooter.
(Bones attacks the British Guy and knocks him out with his mop.)
Bones: You don’t use fan….fancy words when talking to Bon…Bon…Bones.
(Bones starts looking around and he sees all these people staring at him.)
Bones: He had it com…comi…coming.
(Bones then looks across the street and he sees this beautiful girl arguing with a guy that looks familiar.)
Bones: Wo….Wom…WOMEN!!!
(Bones runs into the street and he gets hit by a speeding car. Two more cars go flying by after the first one. It turns out that the familiar guy Bones saw was Brandon Brown.)
Brandon: Hey, that’s Bones. What is the GIW Janitor doing out here?
?: You work for GIW. You should know.
Brandon: Shut up, Kyla. Go talk to your French boyfriend.
Kyla: Why don’t you just send two more idiots to my house?
Brandon: Those two won’t be going back to your house. I gave them some ridiculous map that leads to nowhere.
Kyla: You shouldn’t have sent them in the first place.
Brandon: You were a lot nicer when we were dating.
Kyla: You weren’t some psychopath when we were dating.
Brandon: I’m over that now. I’m back to normal.
British Women: Would you two divs stop arguing? This man needs help.
Brandon: What is a div? Oh, screw it. Can somebody help this guy?
?: I believe I might be of assistance.
Brandon: It’s David Bowie.
David Bowie: Exactly. What is the problem?
Brandon: He was hit by a car.
David Bowie: That’s always a problem but with a little David Bowie magic, he’ll be as good as new.
(David Bowie starts doing anything he can to help Bones and somehow Bones wakes up.)
Bones: Wha….What happened?
David Bowie: You were hit by a car.
Bones: I was after wo…wo..women.
David Bowie: Well, that doesn’t matter. You will be fine.
Bones: There is the women.
Brandon: Kyla, he is looking at you. I’d say he is an improvement over your current French boyfriend.
Kyla: Gross.
(Bones jumps at Kyla but she dodges and she lands a kick to Bones’ face.)
Brandon: You learned all your moves from me.
Kyla: Whatever.
Bones: I just want women.
(The car that hit Bones earlier comes flying back by but it loses control and the two cars chasing the first car also crash.)
Brandon: Holy Shit.
Bones: Da…Da…Damn.
(A case of Red Bull flies into Bones’ arms.)
Bones: Wow.
(Marlo the Beautiful’s Day)
Boolz: Bones, have you seen my Red Bull. I had a whole lot stolen right from underneath me. Can you help me?
Bones: Can you bring me a la…la….lady friend?
Boolz: On second thought, I think I will look elsewhere.
?: I believe I may be of assistance.
(Out of the darkness, a cane is heard hitting the floor.)
Boolz: Marlo the Beautiful.
Marlo: Nothing gets past you. I hear you are having some trouble with your Red Bull. Come with me if you need some help.
Boolz: I don’t want to but I have no other choice.
(Marlo and Boolz leave Bones.)
Boolz: So are you going to tell me where my Red Bull is.
Marlo: I will once you can get Declan to stop having multi man matches.
Boolz: You’re still complaining about that. I just want my damn Red Bull.
Marlo: It’s not that easy, Boolz. As you may know, I am witty, smart, and collected. It says so in my profile. You want be getting your Red Bull if you can’t do something for me.
Boolz: I’m not going to do anything for you.
Marlo: Have it your way.
(Marlo presses a button on the wall with his cane. A giant net falls down in front of Boolz.)
Boolz: Your net was a little off.
Marlo: I always have a backup plan.
(Marlo presses another button and a cage comes crashing down behind Boolz.)
Boolz: You were off again.
Marlo: Why you?
(Marlo throws his cane at Boolz but Boolz catches it.)
Boolz: Hey, I have your cane now. Can we get my Red Bull now?
Marlo: No, we can’t get your Red Bull.
(Marlo runs at Boolz but Boolz smacks Marlo with the cane.)
Boolz: Look at that. Your own weapon was used against you. You do know that I’m the Hardcore Champion, don’t you?
Marlo: Of course I do. I just lost my balance and I tripped into the cane.
Boolz: Okay. I’ll beat you without the cane.
(Boolz throws the cane on the floor.)
Marlo: Nobody can beat me without any weapons.
(Boolz and Marlo start trading punches)
Marlo: I will win with “The Wicked Side of Beauty.”
(Boolz reverses it into his SoberingThoughts move.)
Boolz: Do you give up? I want my Red Bull.
Marlo: I will never give up.
Boolz: I’ll just have to beat you more.
(Boolz steps back and trips on Marlo’s cane. Boolz hits his head on a piano. Marlo picks Boolz up and locks him inside the piano.)
Marlo: Nobody messes with Marlo the Beautiful. I am a genius.
(Marlo leaves Boolz.)
Marlo: It’s a good day to be me.
(Gabrielle walks past Marlo.)
Marlo: She’s not Karma the Handsome.
(Marlo keeps walking before he slips and falls.)
Marlo: Ow. What is this stuff? Is this drool? This is disgusting. I’m covered in it.
(Bones’ rat, Shooter, jumps on Marlo and stares at him.
Marlo: EEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!
(Shooter pees on Marlo and runs away.)
Marlo: You hideous disgusting creature. I am Marlo the Beautiful. I don’t tolerate this. I will get you.
(Marlo starts chasing Shooter through the halls.)
Marlo: You will never disgrace me again. I’d rather lose a match on purpose than have a rat pee on me.
(Marlo runs around smacking the ground with his cane. He keeps missing Shooter.)
Marlo: You ingrate. I will get you.
(Marlo stops for a second.)
Marlo: Is that Paul McCartney in there?
Paul McCartney: This is a good fizzy drink.
Marlo: I have no time to worry about Sir Paul. I must kill that rat.
(Marlo comes to a four way stop in the hallway.)
Marlo: He had to have gone in one of these three directions.
(All of a sudden two men come running through the hallway. The first man appeared to have a case of Red Bull.)
Marlo: Who were those men? They must have been the ones to take the Red Bull.
(Boolz goes running by without noticing Marlo.)
Marlo: How did he escape? No matter. I will deal with him after I deal with the rat.
(Marlo decides to go straight.)
Marlo: Somebody around here has to know where that rat is.
?: I believe I may be of assistance.
Marlo: It’s David Bowie.
David Bowie: Exactly. What is the problem?
Marlo: I’m chasing a rat. He took a piss on my face.
David Bowie: Clever, aren’t they?
Marlo: Yes. So have you seen one?
David Bowie: I saw one scurry by earlier.
Marlo: Where?
David Bowie: I’ll lead you to it.
(Bowie and Marlo head outside.)
David Bowie: I can’t seem to find it.
(A loud thud is heard.)
Marlo: What was that?
David Bowie: That man was hit by a car. I’ll go check it out.
(Bowie goes to check it out.)
Marlo: I don’t see that rat anywhere.
(Marlo looks around and he falls over some knocked out British guy.)
Marlo: Stupid knocked out British guys.
(Shooter jumps on Marlo and poops on his chest.)
Marlo: Damn you.
(Marlo hits Shooter with his cane.)
Marlo: Now, I will finish you. This can also be a sword.
(Marlo goes to stab Shooter but the British guy awakens and grabs Marlo’s leg. The cane sword flies out of Marlo’s hand.)
British Guy: What kind of purple haired bloke are you?
Marlo: Get off of me.
(Marlo kicks the British guy in the face.)
Marlo: Jerk. Where is that rat?
(All of a sudden, three cars crash in front of Marlo.)
(Boolz’s day.)
Boolz: I can’t find my Red Bull anywhere. I put my case right here. Somebody must have took it. I already have enough things to worry about and now I have to worry about my Red Bull being missing.
(Boolz looks goes all over the building but he still can’t find his Red Bull.)
Boolz: The only place I haven’t checked is the boiler room which is odd since I checked the girl’s locker room first. I hope Bones knows where my Red Bull is at.
(Boolz goes in the boiler room.)
Boolz: Bones, have you seen my Red Bull. I had a whole lot stolen right from underneath me. Can you help me?
Bones: Can you bring me a la…la….lady friend?
Boolz: On second thought, I think I will look elsewhere.
?: I believe I may be of assistance.
(Out of the darkness, a cane is heard hitting the floor.)
Boolz: Marlo the Beautiful.
Marlo: Nothing gets past you. I hear you are having some trouble with your Red Bull. Come with me if you need some help.
Boolz: I don’t want to but I have no other choice.
(Marlo and Boolz leave Bones.)
Boolz: So are you going to tell me where my Red Bull is.
Marlo: I will once you can get Declan to stop having multi man matches.
Boolz: You’re still complaining about that. I just want my damn Red Bull.
Marlo: It’s not that easy, Boolz. As you may know, I am witty, smart, and collected. It says so in my profile. You want be getting your Red Bull if you can’t do something for me.
Boolz: I’m not going to do anything for you.
Marlo: Have it your way.
(Marlo presses a button on the wall with his cane. A giant net falls down in front of Boolz.)
Boolz: Your net was a little off.
Marlo: I always have a backup plan.
(Marlo presses another button and a cage comes crashing down behind Boolz.)
Boolz: You were off again.
Marlo: Why you?
(Marlo throws his cane at Boolz but Boolz catches it.)
Boolz: Hey, I have your cane now. Can we get my Red Bull now?
Marlo: No, we can’t get your Red Bull.
(Marlo runs at Boolz but Boolz smacks Marlo with the cane.)
Boolz: Look at that. Your own weapon was used against you. You do know that I’m the Hardcore Champion, don’t you?
Marlo: Of course I do. I just lost my balance and I tripped into the cane.
Boolz: Okay. I’ll beat you without the cane.
(Boolz throws the cane on the floor.)
Marlo: Nobody can beat me without any weapons.
(Boolz and Marlo start trading punches)
Marlo: I will win with “The Wicked Side of Beauty.”
(Boolz reverses it into his SoberingThoughts move.)
Boolz: Do you give up? I want my Red Bull.
Marlo: I will never give up.
Boolz: I’ll just have to beat you more.
(Boolz steps back and trips on Marlo’s cane. Boolz hits his head on a piano. Marlo picks Boolz up and locks him inside the piano.)
Marlo: Nobody messes with Marlo the Beautiful. I am a genius.
(Marlo leaves.)
Boolz: (Yelling) Help, I’m stuck in this piano. Somebody get me out of here. This sucks I’m never going to get out. I just want my Red Bull.
(Somebody opens the piano.)
?: How did you get in my piano?
Boolz: Elton John.
Elton John: Yes, that’s me. So how did a strapping young man like you get stuck in there. Is it my birthday?
Boolz: Some jackass locked me in here. I’ll get my revenge on him. What are you doing here, Elton?
Elton John: I’m performing before the show.
Boolz: Cool.
Elton John: Something seems to be troubling you.
Boolz: Somebody stole my case of Red Bull.
Elton John: No. That’s not it. Something else seems to be troubling you.
Boolz: It’s this match I have. I’m fighting a women.
Elton John: Those disgusting things. Why on earth would you want to wrestle one of them?
Boolz: I was forced to. It’s also a first blood match for my hardcore title. What should I do?
Elton John: Beat the shit out of her. The world will be a better place with one last women in it.
Boolz: Okay, I guess.
Elton John: I hope you listened well. Anyways, I have to go get me some fizzy drinks with Paul McCartney. Goodbye.
(Elton John walks away.)
Boolz: I wish I could find my Red Bull. What’s that racket?
(Boolz hears arguing coming from down the hallway.)
?: I don’t think this is the treasure, Ian.
(Boolz looks to see who it is.)
Boolz: Is that Nicholas Cage and Sean Bean?
Sean Bean: Gates, give me the bloody map. It says the treasure was there. We looked there and we found this Red Bull.
Nicholas Cage: Why would the treasure be Red Bull, Ian? That’s stupid.
Sean Bean: You’re stupid, Gates.
Boolz: Hey. That’s my Red Bull, you thieves.
Sean Bean: The treasure is mine.
(Sean Bean runs off.)
Nicholas Cage: Come back here, Ian.
(Cage chases after Bean.)
Boolz: I can’t believe they stole my Red Bull.
(Boolz goes running after Cage and Bean.)
Sean Bean: It’s my treasure, Gates.
Nicholas Cage: The treasure is for the world, Ian.
Boolz: Your names are Nicholas Cage and Sean Bean. There is no Ian and Gates.
(They run past Marlo the Beautiful.)
Sean Bean: Did that guy have purple hair?
Nicholas Cage: I think it was a girl.
Boolz: I’ll get my revenge on Marlo later.
(They head into the parking lot. Bean quickly locates his car and heads out.)
Nicholas Cage: Damn, where is my car. There it is.
(Nicholas Cage gets in his car and heads after Bean.)
Boolz: This would be a good time to have the U-Suk Mobile. I couldn’t bring it to London though. I’m going to have to steal a car.
?: There’s no need for that.
Boolz: Paul McCartney.
Paul McCartney: I just had my fizzy drink so I’m ready to give you a ride.
Boolz: Where’s Elton?
Paul McCartney: He’s still finishing his drink. He was a tad late.
Boolz: Whatever, I want my Red Bull. I’ll ride with you but I’m driving.
(Boolz gets in Paul’s car and they chase after Cage and Bean. Cage has closed in on Bean and they are now side to side.)
Sean Bean: It’s not your treasure, Gates. I will do whatever I want with it.
Nicholas Cage: Ian, you are insane. You need to slow down.
(Boolz pulls up making it three wide.)
Boolz: I want my Red Bull.
Paul McCartney: Isn’t this dangerous. Lucky for us, traffic is slow today.
(They file back into a line with Bean leading.)
Sean Bean: I will win.
(Bean sticks his head out the window.)
Sean Bean: You can’t catch me, Gates.
Nicholas Cage: Look out.
(Sean Bean runs over Bones.)
Sean Bean: What was that guy doing in the road?
Nicholas Cage: This is going to far, Ian.
Paul McCartney: I talked to that guy that got ran over earlier today.
Boolz: I think that was Bones.
Sean Bean: I bet they won’t expect me to go in a complete circle.
Nicholas Cage: Why are we going in a complete circle?
Paul McCartney: I still say we are lucky there is no traffic today.
Boolz: Those two are going in a circle, we must follow.
(They complete their circle.)
Sean Bean: I will get away. Wait, is that a sword in the road? I can’t stop to avoid it.
(Sean Bean’s tire gets blown on the sword and he crashes. Cage and Boolz crash into Bean’s car. The case of Red Bull flies into the arms of Bones. Brandon Brown approaches the wrecked cars.)
Brandon: I should have known. Bean and Cage, what are you idiots doing?
Sean Bean: We followed that map you gave us. It led us to that case of Red Bull.
Nicholas Cage: I don’t think the Red Bull was the actual treasure.
Brandon: There was no treasure. I drew this map just to keep you morons occupied. I guess you two still found a way to cause trouble.
(Boolz gets out of his wreckage with Sir Paul.)
Boolz: Bones, is that my case of Red Bull?
Bones: It.it…it. is. Here you go.
(Bones hands over the case of Red Bull.)
Brandon: Sorry about these two idiots, Boolz. I’ll give them a more complicated fake map next time. Good luck at Distant Whispers.
Boolz: You too.
Brandon: I wouldn’t mind if you chose to fight me at Horizons. I would consider it an honor.
Boolz: I’ll consider choosing you.
Marlo: Boolz. I will now finish you off.
Boolz: I don’t think so.
(Marlo runs after Boolz but Boolz hits him with the DiscomBoolzalator.)
Boolz: You deserved that.
Brandon: Hold him up so I can Superkick him.
(Boolz holds up Marlo and Brandon Superkicks Marlo.)
Brandon: Good Job.
Bones: Does anyone know where Sh…Sh….Shooter is?
?: I believe I may be of assistance.
All: David Bowie.
David Bowie: Exactly. I have your rat right here.
Bones: Th…Th…Thank you.
(Elton John comes running out.)
Elton John: I finished my fizzy drink. Did I miss anything?
Paul McCartney: Yes, you did.
(Everybody laughs.)
Brandon: Good luck at Distant Whispers, Boolz. That Chinatsu is a tough cookie. She pinned me even.
Boolz: Good luck to you too. I’ll do my best to make her bleed.
Brandon: I’ll do my best to kill The Revolution and become a three time Global Heavyweight Champion.
Boolz: Hey, what’s that music?
Brandon: I know. Ladies and Gentleman, Mr. Burt Bacharach.
Burt Bacharach: What the world needs now is love, sweet love. It’s the only thing that there’s just too little of.
Boolz: This has been a hectic day. I need to drink a Red Bull.
(Boolz takes a drink of his Red Bull and the scene fades to black.)