Post by brandonbrown on Jul 25, 2009 21:55:36 GMT -5
(The scene opens with Big B walking to the California Hospital where Brandon Brown is staying.)
Big B: I feel like I’m always going to hospitals or mental wards. Why can’t anything good ever happen in my life?
Vender: Free Hotdog.
Big B: There is a God.
(After Big B eats his free hotdogs, he finally enters the hospital. Big B walks up to the receptionist desk.)
Receptionist: How may I help you, sir? Are you here for gastric bypass surgery?
Big B: What is that supposed to mean? Are you calling me fat?
Receptionist: You are rather big.
Big B: Why I ought to drop you like a bad habit.
Receptionist: It was just a joke.
Big B: I didn’t find it very funny. I’m looking for my cousin. His name is Brandon Brown.
Receptionist: He’s been in an angry mood. I don’t think you want to see him right now.
Big B: Nonsense. We’re like best friends. He’ll be happy to see me.
(The scene switches to Big B getting off the elevator heading for Brandon’s room.)
Big B: I bet he can’t wait to see me.
Nurse Larry: I don’t think you want to go in there.
Big B: I’m his cousin, Nurse Larry. It’ll be find.
Nurse Larry: You better hope so.
(Big B opens the door to Brandon’s room and immediately he gets hit in the head with Jell-o.)
Big B: (Wiping Jell-O off his face.) You must have thought I was a nurse.
Brandon: I knew you were coming. I saw you eating hotdogs down below. So you were the target of my Jell-O.
Big B: Why would you throw Jell-O at me though? I’m your cousin.
Brandon: Let me think. I believe the Pay Per View was called Distant Whispers. I believe I was rocket launched off the top of the cage. I believe you weren’t there to stop Prescott from shooting at me. Even Kiseragi’s father helped him. What the fuck kind of worthless kind of cousin are you?
Big B: The finest in Harlem.
(Brandon throws his pudding at Big B.)
Big B: (Wiping pudding off his face.) I deserved that. I was going to help but I had a bad case of diarrhea. Once you start, you can’t stop.
Brandon: Just shut up. I don’t want to hear your excuses. I don’t want to talk about that Triple Cage Match anymore. The only positive was that Travis Roberts lost his title. The Revolution won’t be so high and mighty now.
Big B: Yeah. That Alex Kiseragi sure showed him.
Brandon: Fuck Kiseragi. I had the match won. He picked up my scraps. Fuck Declan Prescott. I’ll have my revenge if it’s the last thing I do. The Revolution cost me my title at In Your Hands and they cost me the title at Distant Whispers. I’ve had enough of them. Their day of reckoning is upon them.
Big B: Calm down. You have to get out of this hospital first. Can you even get up.
Brandon: I’m starting to get some feeling back in my legs. I’ll just have to ride in a wheelchair.
(Big B brings Brandon a wheelchair.)
Big B: Let’s go for a ride through the hospital.
Brandon: These wheelchairs are rather uncomfortable. Oh well. Big B, who am I? EXCUSE ME! I SAID EXCUSE ME!
Big B: A stupid bitch that only has a job because her steroid using husband died.
Brandon: Jesus Christ. Vickie Guerrero would have been an acceptable answer. What the hell is your problem?
Big B: My emotions get the best of me.
Brandon: I still can’t believe you said that.
Big B: I said what I said. Hey, it’s the children’s ward.
Brandon: They probably have toys.
(Big B and Brandon enter the children’s ward.)
Brandon: These are all sickly looking kids. I think they all have diseases.
Big B: Are they contagious?
Brandon: I hope not. Hey, kid. Are you contagious?
Kid: I have chicken pox.
Brandon: Good. I’ve had chicken pox before so I won’t get it. How about you?
Big B: I’ve never had chicken pox before. I could possible get it.
Brandon: Stay away from us, kid.
Kid: Okay.
(Kid runs away.)
Big B: That was easy.
Brandon: Big B, help me stand.
(Big B picks up Brandon but he falls back in his chair.)
Brandon: This reminds me of Willy Wonka when the grandpa is trying to stand. I got it. We have to sing that golden ticket song.
Big B: Now that sounds like a plan.
Brandon:
I never thought my life could be
Anything but catastrophe
But suddenly I begin to see
A bit of good luck for me
'Cause I've got a golden ticket
I've got a golden twinkle in my eye
I never had a chance to shine
Never a happy song to sing
But suddenly half the world is mine
What an amazing thing
'Cause I've got a golden ticket
[Spoken]
It's ours, Big B!
[Sung]
I've got a golden sun up in the sky
I never thought I'd see the day
When I would face the world and say
Good morning, look at the sun
I never thought that I would be
Slap in the lap of luxury
'Cause I'd have said:
Big B:
It couldn't be done
Brandon:
But it can be done
I never dreamed that I would climb
Over the moon in ecstasy
But nevertheless, it's there that I'm
Shortly about to be
Brandon and Big B:
'Cause I've got a golden ticket
I've got a golden chance to make my way
And with a golden ticket, it's a golden day
Brandon:
[Spoken]
Good morning, look at the sun!
Brandon and Big B:
[Sung]
'Cause I'd have said,
It couldn't be done
Brandon:
But it can be done
I never dreamed that I would climb
Over the moon in ecstasy
But nevertheless, it's there that I'm
Shortly about to be
'Cause I've got a golden ticket
Brandon and Big B:
'Cause I've got a golden ticket
I've got a golden chance to make my way
And with a golden ticket, it's a golden day
(Stop Singing.)
Brandon: I told you that could get me to stand.
Big B: I guess you are right.
(A boy walks up.)
Boy: I know you two. You’re Brandon and Big B Brown. Declan Prescott and Travis Roberts could kick your ass.
Brandon: What did you say? Prescott and Roberts got nothing on me, boy. How about I slap some sense into you?
Boy: I heard you two aren’t really cousins but you are lovers.
Big B: What.
Brandon: I’m get you kid.
(The boy runs away. Brandon can’t catch him because his legs aren’t fully healed.)
Brandon: I’ll GET YOU!! JUST LIKE I WILL GET PRESCOTT AND ROBERTS!!! I WILL FINISH THEM!!! THEIR REVOLUTION WILL BE VANQUISHED!!!!
Big B: People still use the word vanquish.
Brandon: Shut up, Big B
(Brandon grabs a chair and he starts destroying all the little kid’s toys in the room.)
Brandon: THIS WILL BE YOU PRESCOTT!!! I WILL CAUSE YOU MORE PAIN AND SUFFERING THAN I DID AT NO HOLDS BARRED!!!!
(Brandon goes to destroy a Lego castle but Big B stops him.)
Big B: Calm down, man. These are sick kid’s toys you are destroying. Not all of these kids are assholes like the one we encountered. Give me the chair. This is supposed to be sat in. You aren’t supposed to smash things with it.
Brandon: I guess you are right.
(Brandon hands over chair.)
Big B: Now, let me fold it out so you can sit down.
Brandon: Fine, I’ll sit down.
(Brandon does a Superkick and Brandon falls to the ground in pain.)
Big B: I guess you aren’t fully healed yet.
Brandon: Yeah, I can’t move.
Big B: You should have thought before you did the Superkick.
Brandon: Well, at least I kicked that Lego castle.
(Big B and Brandon look over and they see a young kid convulsing on the floor.)
Big B: Holy shit. You kicked a kid.
Brandon: He fell over on the Lego castle. At least that was taken down.
Big B: Who cares. That poor kid is about to die. NURSE! DOCTOR! SOMEBODY!
Brandon: I must have kicked that kid good.
(Nurse Larry comes running in.)
Nurse Larry: What happened?
Big B: The idiot here kicked the kid.
Brandon: I didn’t know the kid was there. I was aiming for the Lego castle.
Nurse Larry: Why is everything in this room destroyed?
Brandon: Some dick of a kid pissed me off.
Nurse Larry: Was it this poor kid convulsing on the ground?
Brandon: No, it wasn’t that kid. It was a different kid.
Nurse Larry: You’re going to have to stay in your room the rest of the time you are here.
Brandon: Fuck.
Nurse Larry: Don’t say that in front of the child.
Brandon: I don’t think he can hear me right now. In fact while you were arguing with me, you should have been helping that poor kid.
Nurse Larry: I forgot about the kid.
(A hot girl and an older women run into the room.)
Brandon: Hello.
Girl: What happened to my brother?
Brandon: I have no clue.
Nurse Larry: He kicked him.
Brandon: I have no idea what he is talking about.
Girl: You jerk.
(Girl slaps Brandon.)
Brandon: I deserved that.
(The mother comes up and also slaps Brandon.)
Brandon: I deserved that too.
Mother: How could you hurt my baby? He has cancer.
Brandon: It was an accident. I didn’t know he was there.
Mother: If he dies, you will pay.
Brandon: Big B, carry me out of here.
Big B: Okay, let’s go.
(Big B carries Brandon back to his room.)
Brandon: Why didn’t we take my wheelchair?
Big B: I don’t know. I also don’t know how you are going to get out of this one. You need to control your anger.
Brandon: I know. It’s all Declan Prescott’s fault. None of this would have happened if it wasn’t for him. I will get my revenge.
Big B: I have to go. I have a match to train for.
Brandon: Who is in the match?
Big B: I’m teaming with Kiseragi and we are taking on Hastings and Roberts.
Brandon: Make sure you bring as much pain to Roberts as possible.
Big B: I will. I’ll see you later.
(Big B leaves.)
Brandon: This day can’t get any worse.
?: That’s where you are wrong.
Brandon: Cage, do you have to follow me wherever I go?
Nicholas Cage: I will follow you until I get my treasure.
Brandon: Don’t you have a kid to look after.
Nicholas Cage: Kal-El will save the Earth one of these days.
Brandon: I forgot you gave your kid Superman’s Kryptonian name.
Nicholas Cage: My kid is Superman.
Brandon: Whatever. Where is Sean Bean hiding?
Nicholas Cage: I ditched Bean in Albuquerque. He won’t be coming back.
Brandon: That’s great. So are you going to stay and bug me until I get you treasure.
Nicholas Cage: Yes.
Brandon: How many more times do I have to tell you that I don’t know where any more treasure is?
Nicholas Cage: I know you are lying. I will make your life even more of a living hell.
Brandon: It can’t get much worse.
Nicholas Cage: Your current situation is actually pretty funny.
Brandon: What’s so funny about it.?
Nicholas Cage: You know that kid that was telling you that you suck. I paid him to say that.
Brandon: You son of a bitch.
Nicholas Cage: I also have something else to say. That kid that was convulsing, I hit him with the baseball bat that was in the room.
Brandon: When did you do this?
Nicholas Cage: When you and Big B were talking I smacked the kid in the head with the bat.
Brandon: I thought I kicked something though.
Nicholas Cage: You got me in the butt. It wasn’t very powerful.
Brandon: So all this happened because you want treasure.
Nicholas Cage: Yeah, I’ll hit cancer patients with bats to get my treasure.
Brandon: I’m going to kill you but I can’t move.
(Nurse Larry walks in.)
Nurse Larry: What’s going on in here?
Brandon: Nurse Larry, it was really Nicholas Cage who hit the kid. He said he hit him with a baseball bat.
Nicholas Cage: That’s the drugs talking, Nurse Larry.
Nurse Larry: Brandon, how could you blame something like that on a hero like Nicholas Cage? He give money to charities and helps cancer patients all the time.
Brandon: You don’t know him like I do. He is crazy.
Nurse Larry: This coming from the guy who used to be in a mental institute. I’m going to leave you alone now. You aren’t allowed to leave though.
Brandon: Okay. Shouldn’t you be surprised that Nicholas Cage is here?
Nurse Larry: No, he comes in all the time.
Nicholas Cage: I do.
(Nurse Larry leaves.)
Brandon: I hate you, Nicholas Cage.
Nicholas Cage: This wouldn’t happen if I got my treasure. I’ll leave you alone for now but I’ll be back.
Brandon: I really want to kick your head off.
(End Scene.)
Big B: I feel like I’m always going to hospitals or mental wards. Why can’t anything good ever happen in my life?
Vender: Free Hotdog.
Big B: There is a God.
(After Big B eats his free hotdogs, he finally enters the hospital. Big B walks up to the receptionist desk.)
Receptionist: How may I help you, sir? Are you here for gastric bypass surgery?
Big B: What is that supposed to mean? Are you calling me fat?
Receptionist: You are rather big.
Big B: Why I ought to drop you like a bad habit.
Receptionist: It was just a joke.
Big B: I didn’t find it very funny. I’m looking for my cousin. His name is Brandon Brown.
Receptionist: He’s been in an angry mood. I don’t think you want to see him right now.
Big B: Nonsense. We’re like best friends. He’ll be happy to see me.
(The scene switches to Big B getting off the elevator heading for Brandon’s room.)
Big B: I bet he can’t wait to see me.
Nurse Larry: I don’t think you want to go in there.
Big B: I’m his cousin, Nurse Larry. It’ll be find.
Nurse Larry: You better hope so.
(Big B opens the door to Brandon’s room and immediately he gets hit in the head with Jell-o.)
Big B: (Wiping Jell-O off his face.) You must have thought I was a nurse.
Brandon: I knew you were coming. I saw you eating hotdogs down below. So you were the target of my Jell-O.
Big B: Why would you throw Jell-O at me though? I’m your cousin.
Brandon: Let me think. I believe the Pay Per View was called Distant Whispers. I believe I was rocket launched off the top of the cage. I believe you weren’t there to stop Prescott from shooting at me. Even Kiseragi’s father helped him. What the fuck kind of worthless kind of cousin are you?
Big B: The finest in Harlem.
(Brandon throws his pudding at Big B.)
Big B: (Wiping pudding off his face.) I deserved that. I was going to help but I had a bad case of diarrhea. Once you start, you can’t stop.
Brandon: Just shut up. I don’t want to hear your excuses. I don’t want to talk about that Triple Cage Match anymore. The only positive was that Travis Roberts lost his title. The Revolution won’t be so high and mighty now.
Big B: Yeah. That Alex Kiseragi sure showed him.
Brandon: Fuck Kiseragi. I had the match won. He picked up my scraps. Fuck Declan Prescott. I’ll have my revenge if it’s the last thing I do. The Revolution cost me my title at In Your Hands and they cost me the title at Distant Whispers. I’ve had enough of them. Their day of reckoning is upon them.
Big B: Calm down. You have to get out of this hospital first. Can you even get up.
Brandon: I’m starting to get some feeling back in my legs. I’ll just have to ride in a wheelchair.
(Big B brings Brandon a wheelchair.)
Big B: Let’s go for a ride through the hospital.
Brandon: These wheelchairs are rather uncomfortable. Oh well. Big B, who am I? EXCUSE ME! I SAID EXCUSE ME!
Big B: A stupid bitch that only has a job because her steroid using husband died.
Brandon: Jesus Christ. Vickie Guerrero would have been an acceptable answer. What the hell is your problem?
Big B: My emotions get the best of me.
Brandon: I still can’t believe you said that.
Big B: I said what I said. Hey, it’s the children’s ward.
Brandon: They probably have toys.
(Big B and Brandon enter the children’s ward.)
Brandon: These are all sickly looking kids. I think they all have diseases.
Big B: Are they contagious?
Brandon: I hope not. Hey, kid. Are you contagious?
Kid: I have chicken pox.
Brandon: Good. I’ve had chicken pox before so I won’t get it. How about you?
Big B: I’ve never had chicken pox before. I could possible get it.
Brandon: Stay away from us, kid.
Kid: Okay.
(Kid runs away.)
Big B: That was easy.
Brandon: Big B, help me stand.
(Big B picks up Brandon but he falls back in his chair.)
Brandon: This reminds me of Willy Wonka when the grandpa is trying to stand. I got it. We have to sing that golden ticket song.
Big B: Now that sounds like a plan.
Brandon:
I never thought my life could be
Anything but catastrophe
But suddenly I begin to see
A bit of good luck for me
'Cause I've got a golden ticket
I've got a golden twinkle in my eye
I never had a chance to shine
Never a happy song to sing
But suddenly half the world is mine
What an amazing thing
'Cause I've got a golden ticket
[Spoken]
It's ours, Big B!
[Sung]
I've got a golden sun up in the sky
I never thought I'd see the day
When I would face the world and say
Good morning, look at the sun
I never thought that I would be
Slap in the lap of luxury
'Cause I'd have said:
Big B:
It couldn't be done
Brandon:
But it can be done
I never dreamed that I would climb
Over the moon in ecstasy
But nevertheless, it's there that I'm
Shortly about to be
Brandon and Big B:
'Cause I've got a golden ticket
I've got a golden chance to make my way
And with a golden ticket, it's a golden day
Brandon:
[Spoken]
Good morning, look at the sun!
Brandon and Big B:
[Sung]
'Cause I'd have said,
It couldn't be done
Brandon:
But it can be done
I never dreamed that I would climb
Over the moon in ecstasy
But nevertheless, it's there that I'm
Shortly about to be
'Cause I've got a golden ticket
Brandon and Big B:
'Cause I've got a golden ticket
I've got a golden chance to make my way
And with a golden ticket, it's a golden day
(Stop Singing.)
Brandon: I told you that could get me to stand.
Big B: I guess you are right.
(A boy walks up.)
Boy: I know you two. You’re Brandon and Big B Brown. Declan Prescott and Travis Roberts could kick your ass.
Brandon: What did you say? Prescott and Roberts got nothing on me, boy. How about I slap some sense into you?
Boy: I heard you two aren’t really cousins but you are lovers.
Big B: What.
Brandon: I’m get you kid.
(The boy runs away. Brandon can’t catch him because his legs aren’t fully healed.)
Brandon: I’ll GET YOU!! JUST LIKE I WILL GET PRESCOTT AND ROBERTS!!! I WILL FINISH THEM!!! THEIR REVOLUTION WILL BE VANQUISHED!!!!
Big B: People still use the word vanquish.
Brandon: Shut up, Big B
(Brandon grabs a chair and he starts destroying all the little kid’s toys in the room.)
Brandon: THIS WILL BE YOU PRESCOTT!!! I WILL CAUSE YOU MORE PAIN AND SUFFERING THAN I DID AT NO HOLDS BARRED!!!!
(Brandon goes to destroy a Lego castle but Big B stops him.)
Big B: Calm down, man. These are sick kid’s toys you are destroying. Not all of these kids are assholes like the one we encountered. Give me the chair. This is supposed to be sat in. You aren’t supposed to smash things with it.
Brandon: I guess you are right.
(Brandon hands over chair.)
Big B: Now, let me fold it out so you can sit down.
Brandon: Fine, I’ll sit down.
(Brandon does a Superkick and Brandon falls to the ground in pain.)
Big B: I guess you aren’t fully healed yet.
Brandon: Yeah, I can’t move.
Big B: You should have thought before you did the Superkick.
Brandon: Well, at least I kicked that Lego castle.
(Big B and Brandon look over and they see a young kid convulsing on the floor.)
Big B: Holy shit. You kicked a kid.
Brandon: He fell over on the Lego castle. At least that was taken down.
Big B: Who cares. That poor kid is about to die. NURSE! DOCTOR! SOMEBODY!
Brandon: I must have kicked that kid good.
(Nurse Larry comes running in.)
Nurse Larry: What happened?
Big B: The idiot here kicked the kid.
Brandon: I didn’t know the kid was there. I was aiming for the Lego castle.
Nurse Larry: Why is everything in this room destroyed?
Brandon: Some dick of a kid pissed me off.
Nurse Larry: Was it this poor kid convulsing on the ground?
Brandon: No, it wasn’t that kid. It was a different kid.
Nurse Larry: You’re going to have to stay in your room the rest of the time you are here.
Brandon: Fuck.
Nurse Larry: Don’t say that in front of the child.
Brandon: I don’t think he can hear me right now. In fact while you were arguing with me, you should have been helping that poor kid.
Nurse Larry: I forgot about the kid.
(A hot girl and an older women run into the room.)
Brandon: Hello.
Girl: What happened to my brother?
Brandon: I have no clue.
Nurse Larry: He kicked him.
Brandon: I have no idea what he is talking about.
Girl: You jerk.
(Girl slaps Brandon.)
Brandon: I deserved that.
(The mother comes up and also slaps Brandon.)
Brandon: I deserved that too.
Mother: How could you hurt my baby? He has cancer.
Brandon: It was an accident. I didn’t know he was there.
Mother: If he dies, you will pay.
Brandon: Big B, carry me out of here.
Big B: Okay, let’s go.
(Big B carries Brandon back to his room.)
Brandon: Why didn’t we take my wheelchair?
Big B: I don’t know. I also don’t know how you are going to get out of this one. You need to control your anger.
Brandon: I know. It’s all Declan Prescott’s fault. None of this would have happened if it wasn’t for him. I will get my revenge.
Big B: I have to go. I have a match to train for.
Brandon: Who is in the match?
Big B: I’m teaming with Kiseragi and we are taking on Hastings and Roberts.
Brandon: Make sure you bring as much pain to Roberts as possible.
Big B: I will. I’ll see you later.
(Big B leaves.)
Brandon: This day can’t get any worse.
?: That’s where you are wrong.
Brandon: Cage, do you have to follow me wherever I go?
Nicholas Cage: I will follow you until I get my treasure.
Brandon: Don’t you have a kid to look after.
Nicholas Cage: Kal-El will save the Earth one of these days.
Brandon: I forgot you gave your kid Superman’s Kryptonian name.
Nicholas Cage: My kid is Superman.
Brandon: Whatever. Where is Sean Bean hiding?
Nicholas Cage: I ditched Bean in Albuquerque. He won’t be coming back.
Brandon: That’s great. So are you going to stay and bug me until I get you treasure.
Nicholas Cage: Yes.
Brandon: How many more times do I have to tell you that I don’t know where any more treasure is?
Nicholas Cage: I know you are lying. I will make your life even more of a living hell.
Brandon: It can’t get much worse.
Nicholas Cage: Your current situation is actually pretty funny.
Brandon: What’s so funny about it.?
Nicholas Cage: You know that kid that was telling you that you suck. I paid him to say that.
Brandon: You son of a bitch.
Nicholas Cage: I also have something else to say. That kid that was convulsing, I hit him with the baseball bat that was in the room.
Brandon: When did you do this?
Nicholas Cage: When you and Big B were talking I smacked the kid in the head with the bat.
Brandon: I thought I kicked something though.
Nicholas Cage: You got me in the butt. It wasn’t very powerful.
Brandon: So all this happened because you want treasure.
Nicholas Cage: Yeah, I’ll hit cancer patients with bats to get my treasure.
Brandon: I’m going to kill you but I can’t move.
(Nurse Larry walks in.)
Nurse Larry: What’s going on in here?
Brandon: Nurse Larry, it was really Nicholas Cage who hit the kid. He said he hit him with a baseball bat.
Nicholas Cage: That’s the drugs talking, Nurse Larry.
Nurse Larry: Brandon, how could you blame something like that on a hero like Nicholas Cage? He give money to charities and helps cancer patients all the time.
Brandon: You don’t know him like I do. He is crazy.
Nurse Larry: This coming from the guy who used to be in a mental institute. I’m going to leave you alone now. You aren’t allowed to leave though.
Brandon: Okay. Shouldn’t you be surprised that Nicholas Cage is here?
Nurse Larry: No, he comes in all the time.
Nicholas Cage: I do.
(Nurse Larry leaves.)
Brandon: I hate you, Nicholas Cage.
Nicholas Cage: This wouldn’t happen if I got my treasure. I’ll leave you alone for now but I’ll be back.
Brandon: I really want to kick your head off.
(End Scene.)