Post by brandonbrown on Jul 25, 2009 21:59:09 GMT -5
(Big B and Brandon are sitting in their home I guess.)
Brandon: I was watching TV last night and you know what I came across.
Big B: No, I was watching porn.
Brandon: I forgot last night was your porn night. I was wondering where you were.
Big B: Yeah, you should have seen these two girls going at it.
Brandon: I don’t need to hear about it. I’ve lived through these kind of things before.
Big B: Some of us aren’t that privileged.
Brandon: Lose some weight and you might. Anyways, you know what I watched last night?
Big B: No, I told you I was watching porn.
Brandon: I watched Rocky 3.
Big B: Good movie.
Brandon: It is. You know what I realized when I watched it?
Big B: Hulk Hogan played Thunderlips.
Brandon: I always knew that. No, I realized that I need to learn how to wrestle like a black man. Rocky became a better fighter when Apollo Creed trained him. I need a black guy to train me. I need an Apollo Creed. I just don’t know where I can find a good black guy that could teach me to fight better though.
(Big B lowers his head in shame.)
Brandon: What’s wrong with you?
Big B: My pride has taken a hit.
Brandon: Right. I forgot you were black. You come off as too white to me. It’s probably because I’ve hung around with you for so long.
Big B: You don’t find me black enough. I come from Harlem. I hang out with Samuel Freeman.
Brandon: That guys pretty funny. He uses the f word too much though.
Big B: I’ve been trying to get him to cut down.
Brandon: That’s not very black of you. Are you sure that you aren’t half black?
Big B: I’m not half black.
Brandon: Okay. We need to find me a black trainer though. I need to be able to beat Declan Prescott at Horizons. I can thank the Great Boss P for that match and I also need to be able to beat McSkinny and Roberts this week. I have to team up with Savana and I think the card said Deathman. I thought that guy was gone for good. I never really like Deathman but if he wants to stop the Revolution than he has a friend in me. You remember that song from Toy Story called You’ve Got a Friend in Me?
Big B: Yes, I believe Randy Newman sang that.
Brandon: He’s not too bad. Back on subject, we need a black trainer.
Big B: I vote for Barack Obama.
Brandon: You already voted for Barack Obama. I voted for Bob Barr. I like his mustache.
Big B: Barack could be your trainer.
Brandon: Barack could train me to be a great fighter so that I could be Declan?
Big B: Why not?
Brandon: I smell a road trip.
(Big B and Brandon are now at where Barack Obama is staying.)
Brandon: We get around this country pretty quick.
Big B: It’s Because We’re Rich Bitch!!!
Brandon: It’s about time you started acting black.
(Brandon and Big B walk into the place and the hot receptionist lady greets them. This is GIW though so you already know what is going to happen.)
Hot Receptionist Lady: Hello, how may I help you?
Big B: We need to see the Messiah.
Brandon: We want to see Barack Obama.
HRL: You can’t do that unless you want to do something for me.
Brandon: I’ll do anything.
(If you have guesses what is going to happen by now, then you’re an idiot.)
HRL: You say you’ll do anything?
Brandon: We will do anything for the Hot Receptionist Lady.
HRL: Good.
(A few seconds later.)
Brandon:
I never thought my life could be
Anything but catastrophe
But suddenly I begin to see
A bit of good luck for me
'Cause I've got a golden ticket
I've got a golden twinkle in my eye
I never had a chance to shine
Never a happy song to sing
But suddenly half the world is mine
What an amazing thing
'Cause I've got a golden ticket
[Spoken]
It's ours, Big B!
[Sung]
I've got a golden sun up in the sky
I never thought I'd see the day
When I would face the world and say
Good morning, look at the sun
I never thought that I would be
Slap in the lap of luxury
'Cause I'd have said:
Big B:
It couldn't be done
Brandon:
But it can be done
I never dreamed that I would climb
Over the moon in ecstasy
But nevertheless, it's there that I'm
Shortly about to be
Brandon and Big B:
'Cause I've got a golden ticket
I've got a golden chance to make my way
And with a golden ticket, it's a golden day
Brandon:
[Spoken]
Good morning, look at the sun!
Brandon and Big B:
[Sung]
'Cause I'd have said,
It couldn't be done
Brandon:
But it can be done
I never dreamed that I would climb
Over the moon in ecstasy
But nevertheless, it's there that I'm
Shortly about to be
'Cause I've got a golden ticket
Brandon and Big B:
'Cause I've got a golden ticket
I've got a golden chance to make my way
And with a golden ticket, it's a golden day
(I bet you didn’t see that coming and The HRL lets Brandon and Big B go see Obama.)
Big B: I can’t believe it. I get to see the savior of my people.
Brandon: He’s just a half black dude that was voted President of the United States.
Big B: He is a God.
(Big B and Brandon head down to Barack’s room. There is no security for some reason.)
Brandon: This seems too easy.
(Brandon knocks on the door and Barack opens it and greets them.)
Obama: Hello, gentleman.
Big B: (Down on his hands and knees.) We’re not worthy. We’re not worthy.
Obama: You’re worthy.
Brandon: Pathetic.
Obama: There is nothing wrong with what he believes in.
Brandon: Some people believe you are a Muslim.
Obama: They’re just uneducated.
Brandon: We could be here to shoot you right now but you have no security. Why is that?
Obama: What do you mean I have no security?
(Obama looks in the halls and sees that nobody is there.)
Obama: Where are my guards?
?: I believe I may be of assistance.
Obama: It’s David Bowie.
David Bowie: That guy over there beat up your guards.
Obama: Nic Cage?!
Nic Cage: It was I who beat up your guards. I needed to so I could get to you. I know that once you are in the White House, you will have clues to the greatest treasures in the world. I will need your help so I can find these treasures.
Obama: Has anyone told you that you are insane?
Brandon: We’ve tried that. It doesn’t work.
Obama: Why don’t you ask George W. Bush?
Nic Cage: Are you serious? The man can’t even put on his own pants right in the morning. There is no way he can help me find my treasure.
Obama: I like your attitude, Cage. When I move into the White House, I will try to tell you where all the treasures are.
Nic Cage: I knew you would be a good President. I voted for Nader though.
(Nic Cage throws down a smoke bomb and vanishes. David Bowie also banishes.)
Obama: So what did you two want?
Brandon: I wanted you to train me to become a black fighter.
Obama: I don’t know how to do that.
Brandon: Big B, I thought you said Barack could do this?
Big B: I just wanted to meet Black Jesus.
Obama: Black Jesus? Forget it. I’ll do my best to help you become a black fighter. Just let me make a few calls.
Brandon: Yeah.
(Obama makes a few calls and in his spare time, Brandon fucked the Hot Receptionist Lady. What? You knew he would. Obama calls both Big B and Brandon back into his room.)
Obama: Brandon, your shirt is on backwards.
Brandon: My bad.
Obama: I have gotten you plane arrangements to meet a black fighter that can teach you how to be a black fighter.
Brandon: Black fighter.
Obama: I wish you both well on your journey.
(Brandon shakes Obama’s hand and Big B hugs him for a really long time before they finally leave. They get on the plane and land safely at the place they were supposed to land safely at.)
Brandon: This guy is supposed to be waiting for us.
Big B: I can’t believe I hugged Barack Obama.
Brandon: Shut up. You said that the whole plane ride. We need help finding this guy though.
?: I believe I may be of assistance.
Brandon: It’s David Bowie. He must have been on the same plane.
David Bowie: Look over there.
Carl Weathers: Brandon, I’m here to help you find that Eye of the Tiger.
Big B: Carl Weathers! We’re not worthy. We’re not worthy.
Carl Weathers: You’re worthy. Brandon, are you ready to be a black fighter?
Brandon: Yes, I am. I can’t believe I get to train with Apollo Creed. Do you really know all those moves from the Rocky movies?
Carl Weathers: Of course I do.
(As Brandon asks Carl “Apollo Creed” Weathers questions, the scene fades to black as this new alliance is formed.)
Brandon: I was watching TV last night and you know what I came across.
Big B: No, I was watching porn.
Brandon: I forgot last night was your porn night. I was wondering where you were.
Big B: Yeah, you should have seen these two girls going at it.
Brandon: I don’t need to hear about it. I’ve lived through these kind of things before.
Big B: Some of us aren’t that privileged.
Brandon: Lose some weight and you might. Anyways, you know what I watched last night?
Big B: No, I told you I was watching porn.
Brandon: I watched Rocky 3.
Big B: Good movie.
Brandon: It is. You know what I realized when I watched it?
Big B: Hulk Hogan played Thunderlips.
Brandon: I always knew that. No, I realized that I need to learn how to wrestle like a black man. Rocky became a better fighter when Apollo Creed trained him. I need a black guy to train me. I need an Apollo Creed. I just don’t know where I can find a good black guy that could teach me to fight better though.
(Big B lowers his head in shame.)
Brandon: What’s wrong with you?
Big B: My pride has taken a hit.
Brandon: Right. I forgot you were black. You come off as too white to me. It’s probably because I’ve hung around with you for so long.
Big B: You don’t find me black enough. I come from Harlem. I hang out with Samuel Freeman.
Brandon: That guys pretty funny. He uses the f word too much though.
Big B: I’ve been trying to get him to cut down.
Brandon: That’s not very black of you. Are you sure that you aren’t half black?
Big B: I’m not half black.
Brandon: Okay. We need to find me a black trainer though. I need to be able to beat Declan Prescott at Horizons. I can thank the Great Boss P for that match and I also need to be able to beat McSkinny and Roberts this week. I have to team up with Savana and I think the card said Deathman. I thought that guy was gone for good. I never really like Deathman but if he wants to stop the Revolution than he has a friend in me. You remember that song from Toy Story called You’ve Got a Friend in Me?
Big B: Yes, I believe Randy Newman sang that.
Brandon: He’s not too bad. Back on subject, we need a black trainer.
Big B: I vote for Barack Obama.
Brandon: You already voted for Barack Obama. I voted for Bob Barr. I like his mustache.
Big B: Barack could be your trainer.
Brandon: Barack could train me to be a great fighter so that I could be Declan?
Big B: Why not?
Brandon: I smell a road trip.
(Big B and Brandon are now at where Barack Obama is staying.)
Brandon: We get around this country pretty quick.
Big B: It’s Because We’re Rich Bitch!!!
Brandon: It’s about time you started acting black.
(Brandon and Big B walk into the place and the hot receptionist lady greets them. This is GIW though so you already know what is going to happen.)
Hot Receptionist Lady: Hello, how may I help you?
Big B: We need to see the Messiah.
Brandon: We want to see Barack Obama.
HRL: You can’t do that unless you want to do something for me.
Brandon: I’ll do anything.
(If you have guesses what is going to happen by now, then you’re an idiot.)
HRL: You say you’ll do anything?
Brandon: We will do anything for the Hot Receptionist Lady.
HRL: Good.
(A few seconds later.)
Brandon:
I never thought my life could be
Anything but catastrophe
But suddenly I begin to see
A bit of good luck for me
'Cause I've got a golden ticket
I've got a golden twinkle in my eye
I never had a chance to shine
Never a happy song to sing
But suddenly half the world is mine
What an amazing thing
'Cause I've got a golden ticket
[Spoken]
It's ours, Big B!
[Sung]
I've got a golden sun up in the sky
I never thought I'd see the day
When I would face the world and say
Good morning, look at the sun
I never thought that I would be
Slap in the lap of luxury
'Cause I'd have said:
Big B:
It couldn't be done
Brandon:
But it can be done
I never dreamed that I would climb
Over the moon in ecstasy
But nevertheless, it's there that I'm
Shortly about to be
Brandon and Big B:
'Cause I've got a golden ticket
I've got a golden chance to make my way
And with a golden ticket, it's a golden day
Brandon:
[Spoken]
Good morning, look at the sun!
Brandon and Big B:
[Sung]
'Cause I'd have said,
It couldn't be done
Brandon:
But it can be done
I never dreamed that I would climb
Over the moon in ecstasy
But nevertheless, it's there that I'm
Shortly about to be
'Cause I've got a golden ticket
Brandon and Big B:
'Cause I've got a golden ticket
I've got a golden chance to make my way
And with a golden ticket, it's a golden day
(I bet you didn’t see that coming and The HRL lets Brandon and Big B go see Obama.)
Big B: I can’t believe it. I get to see the savior of my people.
Brandon: He’s just a half black dude that was voted President of the United States.
Big B: He is a God.
(Big B and Brandon head down to Barack’s room. There is no security for some reason.)
Brandon: This seems too easy.
(Brandon knocks on the door and Barack opens it and greets them.)
Obama: Hello, gentleman.
Big B: (Down on his hands and knees.) We’re not worthy. We’re not worthy.
Obama: You’re worthy.
Brandon: Pathetic.
Obama: There is nothing wrong with what he believes in.
Brandon: Some people believe you are a Muslim.
Obama: They’re just uneducated.
Brandon: We could be here to shoot you right now but you have no security. Why is that?
Obama: What do you mean I have no security?
(Obama looks in the halls and sees that nobody is there.)
Obama: Where are my guards?
?: I believe I may be of assistance.
Obama: It’s David Bowie.
David Bowie: That guy over there beat up your guards.
Obama: Nic Cage?!
Nic Cage: It was I who beat up your guards. I needed to so I could get to you. I know that once you are in the White House, you will have clues to the greatest treasures in the world. I will need your help so I can find these treasures.
Obama: Has anyone told you that you are insane?
Brandon: We’ve tried that. It doesn’t work.
Obama: Why don’t you ask George W. Bush?
Nic Cage: Are you serious? The man can’t even put on his own pants right in the morning. There is no way he can help me find my treasure.
Obama: I like your attitude, Cage. When I move into the White House, I will try to tell you where all the treasures are.
Nic Cage: I knew you would be a good President. I voted for Nader though.
(Nic Cage throws down a smoke bomb and vanishes. David Bowie also banishes.)
Obama: So what did you two want?
Brandon: I wanted you to train me to become a black fighter.
Obama: I don’t know how to do that.
Brandon: Big B, I thought you said Barack could do this?
Big B: I just wanted to meet Black Jesus.
Obama: Black Jesus? Forget it. I’ll do my best to help you become a black fighter. Just let me make a few calls.
Brandon: Yeah.
(Obama makes a few calls and in his spare time, Brandon fucked the Hot Receptionist Lady. What? You knew he would. Obama calls both Big B and Brandon back into his room.)
Obama: Brandon, your shirt is on backwards.
Brandon: My bad.
Obama: I have gotten you plane arrangements to meet a black fighter that can teach you how to be a black fighter.
Brandon: Black fighter.
Obama: I wish you both well on your journey.
(Brandon shakes Obama’s hand and Big B hugs him for a really long time before they finally leave. They get on the plane and land safely at the place they were supposed to land safely at.)
Brandon: This guy is supposed to be waiting for us.
Big B: I can’t believe I hugged Barack Obama.
Brandon: Shut up. You said that the whole plane ride. We need help finding this guy though.
?: I believe I may be of assistance.
Brandon: It’s David Bowie. He must have been on the same plane.
David Bowie: Look over there.
Carl Weathers: Brandon, I’m here to help you find that Eye of the Tiger.
Big B: Carl Weathers! We’re not worthy. We’re not worthy.
Carl Weathers: You’re worthy. Brandon, are you ready to be a black fighter?
Brandon: Yes, I am. I can’t believe I get to train with Apollo Creed. Do you really know all those moves from the Rocky movies?
Carl Weathers: Of course I do.
(As Brandon asks Carl “Apollo Creed” Weathers questions, the scene fades to black as this new alliance is formed.)