Post by nbk on Sept 29, 2011 21:15:17 GMT -5
Events of recent months had made you to reconsider how you looked at the world through your ever watching eyes. Much of what you'd previously known to be a certainty, was now under severe questioning from your intellect and psyches. You'd never really been challenged on the way you viewed the futility of the lives of those that surrounded you. They had no idea, no inkling of what was around them, what they could be. In that sense, nothing had changed, as ever the mass populous was filled with ignorant, the lazy and the inept. They would accept anything they were told, as long as kept them locked in the panic rooms of their everyday lives.
You'd long since stopped pitying these souls, knowing that the most they would ever become was dumbfounded onlookers in the story of your life. You had to really look hard to find those that deserved your time and talent, it was at times an ordeal, one you could frankly do without. But alas, you were aware it was essential in this life to share with others. Yet they were few and far between, and those that passed your stringent tests, had only a limited time in your presence before they had become like the rest, they never grew as people in your company, as you hoped.
You could help them, yet they wouldn't listen to you, rarely did any of them take you seriously, and those that did saw you more as a challenge, they wanted you to become more like them. In the end you were disappointed with pretty much all the people in your life, from your parents and siblings, to everyone else since. No-one had ever appreciated just what you were, what you could offer them, and that's how you found yourself here, scraping the barrel.
But all that had changed in recent months, your luck had changed, that in itself was a monumental shift in fortunes, as you could not recall the last time you benefited from 'luck'. That's why you were here, everything you had ever attempted, despite your best efforts and intentions, had turned to faeces. You couldn't bear the shame of all these actions, but it surrounded you on a daily basis, every moment of the day you were reminded of the exact reasons you found yourself where you were today. Waiting to exploit you talents into a condensed form to satiate the slobbering masses who had no appreciation of just what you could have offered them.
This was a new type of shame, and one that each week subjected you to another demeaning 'promo shoot' that anyone in their right mind would be foolish to think could truly highlight your skills. But this, was a necessary shame, you knew that, and were constantly reminded of that. Without UGWC, you would be nothing, even if you despised the fabric of this realm, it was the only way to continue, to maybe make it to the light at the end of the tunnel.
You may have to suffer through further indignities, may have to whore you talents for the internet audience to get a daily fix of 'entertainment' no matter how much it made your insides turn, it had already begun to show it's rewards. Sure the humiliation was almost a weekly occurrence, but the opportunities and possibilities were now beginning to present themselves. You had never been faced with opportunity before, not like this. You had, in the past, had to fight tooth and nail for your right to survive in this world, to just try and get what you thought you needed to finally receive what you strived for. And now, it looked very different from what you had ever dared imagine, but it was tangible, you could almost smell it...yet it challenged everything you had truly believed.
You had entered into what is essentially a contract with the devil, all those months ago in March, because you had always been able to fool yourself. Deep down you truly knew this was a waste of your talent, that the odds of anything positive coming from this were lower than winning the lottery on several continents, but you were desperate. You couldn't survive as you had, wasting your talent in dead end alleys, you needed to do something more. You had to deceive your pride, convince yourself this was a worthwhile endeavour, that it wasn't you taking the only option you had for survival. But you were wrong, unfathomably that decision was the best you had ever made in your life.
Your prospects had never been so good, they were beyond you greatest imaginings, but how was this possible? How could a place like this, a place fuelled by the weak minded and self-obsessed, grant what it had on you. How was it possible that salvation from your previous misdeeds was to be found here of all places? That simple truth, had threatened to tear apart your entire ideology.
It had been a strange few months, you were finally beginning to feel settled, with purpose in a way you never thought could be possible, and in a manner you could not have expected. You were relying on other's, without them you would have no chance to open the doors suddenly available to you, because they were the ones with the keys. Your reliance on them was something you had not experienced for a long time, to trust in the capabilities of others was something that had made you uncomfortable for so long, but it was now growing upon you.
And, yet another first, you could actually accept that there were other with more than you, others that had experience that could benefit you in ways you had never expected to find here. The shock this revelation had forced upon you, was another reason you had to reconsider everything you once thought you knew, because there were others that knew infinitely more than you in this world, and they were willing to help.
With their guidance and support you could hone your raw talents and skills into something more. You had never considered that there was anything you could do to improve yourself, and certainly those that you had encountered in the past had never lead you to suspect such a thing, yet you were not even a fraction of what you could be. They had seen something in you, something that they thought merited further observation, something that even you were unaware of, a potential within you to go on a be something greater than you had ever contemplated.
You were so used to being reminded of all your sins, all your transgressions, this faith was something you hardly felt worthy of, something you didn't let yourself believe you were capable of accepting. You truly felt honoured, they had welcomed you to their fold, they had accepted you as one of them, they had accepted you...
Into The Circle.
Now you praised Rudo, even as you sat at the desk of that unbelievably addled young man. You had thanked your lord even as you had snagged your leg on a shard of glass whilst breaking in through his bathroom window, why did he have to go and get a damned deadlock?
You were honored to have been given the time to truly reflect upon the Prince's goodwill as you had waited for some hours for the indignant youngster to make his way home and finally let you humiliate yourself for those bored between self loving sessions. The Screams had stayed relatively calm today, and you hated to waste this rare calm not serving the progress of The Circle, so all you could do was praise your lord.
And explore this unfortunate souls hard drive.
You click on the latest video entry and the player pops up.
The silhouette of a man sat on a stool starts to play.
”Why did I-I-I do this? ...Umm...I-I-I-I-II always felt video dating was a stupid step...people don't pick you on pers-personal-personality and I-I-I-II'm not interested in vanity.
Me? I-I-I am a cameraman, I-I-I shoot documeta-a-a-ries, wi-i-ldli-li-life mainly. I-I-I'm sorry, being in front makes me ner-ner-nervous.
What I-I-I want in a wo-wo-wo-wom-wom-woma,...partner? Someone to share conver-ver-ver-sation with, someone who likes fi-fi-film, appreci-ci-ci-ciates the arts and classical liter-literi-literi...books.
I-I-I like to travel, i-i-i-it's part of wha-wha-what attracted me to my prof-proff-proff-profes-ss-ss...job. Also I-I-I enjoy and am profici-proficie-proficen...good at pottery, but no-no-not at pu-pub-publi-public speaking.”
Whoever is operating the camera clearly feels it's time to end this ordeal, and wipe his lense of the spittle.
And you thought you had it bad before you met Rudo, there is no salvation for some people.
You'd long since stopped pitying these souls, knowing that the most they would ever become was dumbfounded onlookers in the story of your life. You had to really look hard to find those that deserved your time and talent, it was at times an ordeal, one you could frankly do without. But alas, you were aware it was essential in this life to share with others. Yet they were few and far between, and those that passed your stringent tests, had only a limited time in your presence before they had become like the rest, they never grew as people in your company, as you hoped.
You could help them, yet they wouldn't listen to you, rarely did any of them take you seriously, and those that did saw you more as a challenge, they wanted you to become more like them. In the end you were disappointed with pretty much all the people in your life, from your parents and siblings, to everyone else since. No-one had ever appreciated just what you were, what you could offer them, and that's how you found yourself here, scraping the barrel.
But all that had changed in recent months, your luck had changed, that in itself was a monumental shift in fortunes, as you could not recall the last time you benefited from 'luck'. That's why you were here, everything you had ever attempted, despite your best efforts and intentions, had turned to faeces. You couldn't bear the shame of all these actions, but it surrounded you on a daily basis, every moment of the day you were reminded of the exact reasons you found yourself where you were today. Waiting to exploit you talents into a condensed form to satiate the slobbering masses who had no appreciation of just what you could have offered them.
This was a new type of shame, and one that each week subjected you to another demeaning 'promo shoot' that anyone in their right mind would be foolish to think could truly highlight your skills. But this, was a necessary shame, you knew that, and were constantly reminded of that. Without UGWC, you would be nothing, even if you despised the fabric of this realm, it was the only way to continue, to maybe make it to the light at the end of the tunnel.
You may have to suffer through further indignities, may have to whore you talents for the internet audience to get a daily fix of 'entertainment' no matter how much it made your insides turn, it had already begun to show it's rewards. Sure the humiliation was almost a weekly occurrence, but the opportunities and possibilities were now beginning to present themselves. You had never been faced with opportunity before, not like this. You had, in the past, had to fight tooth and nail for your right to survive in this world, to just try and get what you thought you needed to finally receive what you strived for. And now, it looked very different from what you had ever dared imagine, but it was tangible, you could almost smell it...yet it challenged everything you had truly believed.
You had entered into what is essentially a contract with the devil, all those months ago in March, because you had always been able to fool yourself. Deep down you truly knew this was a waste of your talent, that the odds of anything positive coming from this were lower than winning the lottery on several continents, but you were desperate. You couldn't survive as you had, wasting your talent in dead end alleys, you needed to do something more. You had to deceive your pride, convince yourself this was a worthwhile endeavour, that it wasn't you taking the only option you had for survival. But you were wrong, unfathomably that decision was the best you had ever made in your life.
Your prospects had never been so good, they were beyond you greatest imaginings, but how was this possible? How could a place like this, a place fuelled by the weak minded and self-obsessed, grant what it had on you. How was it possible that salvation from your previous misdeeds was to be found here of all places? That simple truth, had threatened to tear apart your entire ideology.
It had been a strange few months, you were finally beginning to feel settled, with purpose in a way you never thought could be possible, and in a manner you could not have expected. You were relying on other's, without them you would have no chance to open the doors suddenly available to you, because they were the ones with the keys. Your reliance on them was something you had not experienced for a long time, to trust in the capabilities of others was something that had made you uncomfortable for so long, but it was now growing upon you.
And, yet another first, you could actually accept that there were other with more than you, others that had experience that could benefit you in ways you had never expected to find here. The shock this revelation had forced upon you, was another reason you had to reconsider everything you once thought you knew, because there were others that knew infinitely more than you in this world, and they were willing to help.
With their guidance and support you could hone your raw talents and skills into something more. You had never considered that there was anything you could do to improve yourself, and certainly those that you had encountered in the past had never lead you to suspect such a thing, yet you were not even a fraction of what you could be. They had seen something in you, something that they thought merited further observation, something that even you were unaware of, a potential within you to go on a be something greater than you had ever contemplated.
You were so used to being reminded of all your sins, all your transgressions, this faith was something you hardly felt worthy of, something you didn't let yourself believe you were capable of accepting. You truly felt honoured, they had welcomed you to their fold, they had accepted you as one of them, they had accepted you...
Into The Circle.
Now you praised Rudo, even as you sat at the desk of that unbelievably addled young man. You had thanked your lord even as you had snagged your leg on a shard of glass whilst breaking in through his bathroom window, why did he have to go and get a damned deadlock?
You were honored to have been given the time to truly reflect upon the Prince's goodwill as you had waited for some hours for the indignant youngster to make his way home and finally let you humiliate yourself for those bored between self loving sessions. The Screams had stayed relatively calm today, and you hated to waste this rare calm not serving the progress of The Circle, so all you could do was praise your lord.
And explore this unfortunate souls hard drive.
You click on the latest video entry and the player pops up.
The silhouette of a man sat on a stool starts to play.
”Why did I-I-I do this? ...Umm...I-I-I-I-II always felt video dating was a stupid step...people don't pick you on pers-personal-personality and I-I-I-II'm not interested in vanity.
Me? I-I-I am a cameraman, I-I-I shoot documeta-a-a-ries, wi-i-ldli-li-life mainly. I-I-I'm sorry, being in front makes me ner-ner-nervous.
What I-I-I want in a wo-wo-wo-wom-wom-woma,...partner? Someone to share conver-ver-ver-sation with, someone who likes fi-fi-film, appreci-ci-ci-ciates the arts and classical liter-literi-literi...books.
I-I-I like to travel, i-i-i-it's part of wha-wha-what attracted me to my prof-proff-proff-profes-ss-ss...job. Also I-I-I enjoy and am profici-proficie-proficen...good at pottery, but no-no-not at pu-pub-publi-public speaking.”
Whoever is operating the camera clearly feels it's time to end this ordeal, and wipe his lense of the spittle.
And you thought you had it bad before you met Rudo, there is no salvation for some people.
