Post by brandonbrown on Jul 25, 2009 22:01:26 GMT -5
(The scene opens at Nicolas Cage’s house. Yes, he is actually at home for once. His wife Alice Kim is making food or something.)
Alice: Nic, how are all of your new movies doing?
Nic Cage: I’ve probably filmed about one hundred in these past few months.
Alice: That’s called devotion.
Nic Cage: There’s a reason that I’ve one an Academy Award.
Alice: I loved Leaving Las Vegas.
Nic Cage: That’s why we have six copies of that movie.
Alice: You can never have too many copies.
(Phone rings.)
Nic Cage: I have to answer that.
(Nic Cage answers the phone.)
Nic Cage: What? I got another movie role. I must be the most talented actor ever. Alice, I have to finish this call in the other room.
Alice: Okay.
(Nic Cage takes the phone into another room.)
Nic Cage: So you are saying that you found a good treasure spot. I must go to this place. It’s not far from here. I’m going now.
(Cage hangs up the phone.)
Nic Cage: I have to go film this movie now, Alice.
Alice: Do what you must.
Nic Cage: That’s why I married you.
(Nicolas Cage’s son, Kal-El, walks into the room with a Superman suit on.)
Kal-El: Daddy, I want to come.
Nic Cage: Your too young for this mission, I mean movie. You are a bright three year old though. You will make an excellent superhero someday. I must face this challenge alone though. Goodbye.
(Nic Cage opens the door to leave but is surprised to see Brandon Brown standing at his door.)
Brandon: I’m surprised you are actually home for once. I figured you would be out looking for….
Nic Cage: Good movie opportunities. That’s what I would be looking for. That’s what a great actor like me does. I do great movies.
Brandon: Yeah. Hey, is that your son?
Nic Cage: Yes. That is the future of mankind, Kal-El.
Brandon: You have him dressed as Superman and everything. You’re serious about this.
Kal-El: My daddy says I will be strong.
Brandon: He talks pretty good for a young kid.
Alice: He’s three.
Brandon: It’s Nic Cage’s wife. How do you put up will all of this guys treasure….
Nic Cage: Treasure movies. National Treasure movies. It’s hard to believe that there are two of those.
Alice: It is hard to believe.
Brandon: Cage, can I talk with you outside?
Nic Cage: Okay.
(They go outside.)
Brandon: You’ve never told her that you go treasure hunting?
Nic Cage: No, that ruins marriages. My marriages to Patricia Arquette and Lisa Marie Pressley were all ruined when they found out I was treasure hunting instead of movie making.
Brandon: That’s cool. Your secret is safe with me. I have another thing to say though.
Nic Cage: What?
Brandon: You are my partner this week on Sentinel. We will be wrestling on the same team.
Nic Cage: We’ll win for sure. I’m trained in every martial arts form possible. Who are the unlucky saps that we have to face?
Brandon: Declan Prescott and Will Smith.
Nic Cage: I hate Will Smith. He stole my role in the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. I’ll kill him.
Brandon: You could have been the Fresh Prince?
Nic Cage: Damn right. Now if you excuse me, I have a treasure to find.
Brandon: I guess I should come with you.
Nic Cage: You tried to steal my treasure last week.
Brandon: The treasure is all yours this week.
Nic Cage: Good.
(They head to some mountain place.)
Brandon: Is the treasure around here?
Nic Cage: It’s probably buried somewhere.
Brandon: How do you know where all this treasure is?
Nic Cage: I have sources.
Brandon: Do we have something to dig with?
Nic Cage: I have a shovel. You have to use your hands.
Brandon: Okay.
(Cage and Brandon start digging.)
Nic Cage: This treasure is nowhere to be found.
Brandon: Are you going to give up?
Nic Cage: Never.
(The mountain starts to rumble and Nic Cage and Brandon get buried in an avalanche.)
Brandon: This sucks.
Nic Cage: This seems familiar.
Brandon: How are we going to get out of here?
Nic Cage: Just you wait, Chocolate Boy will come and save the day.
Brandon: Of all the people, I never expected a Hey, Arnold reference from you.
Nic Cage: I loved that show.
Brandon: Too bad there won’t be anybody to save us. I guess this is where it ends for me. I thought it was over that one time I was trapped by Deathman too. I have a very unlucky life.
Nic Cage: Have you ever seen Honeymoon in Vegas? I have a portable DVD player if you want to watch.
Brandon: Okay.
(They finish the movie.)
Brandon: Was that really you jumping out of the plane in the Elvis costume?
Nic Cage: Yes. Why wouldn’t it be me? I’m Nic Fucking Cage. I can do all my own stunts.
Brandon: I believe you. Do you have any more movies we could watch?
Nic Cage: Nope. That was the only one in the DVD player. We could watch it again.
Brandon: Okay.
(They watch the movie again.)
Brandon: I have to say my favorite part is the poker game.
Nic Cage: I would have won that in real life.
Brandon: I wouldn’t doubt you.
(All of a sudden all the dirt is blown off of Cage and Brandon.)
Brandon: That must have been a strong wind.
Nic Cage: Amazing.
Brandon: Look over there.
Nic Cage: KAL-EL.
(The Superman theme plays while Kal-El is standing in front of Brandon and Cage.)
Nic Cage: I knew my boy was a hero. You’re already developing your superpowers.
Kal-El: I saved the day.
Nic Cage: Let’s go home son. Brandon, I will see you at Sentinel.
(Nic Cage takes Kal-El and leaves.)
Brandon: Kal-El couldn’t have really done that.
?: Nope, he didn’t.
Brandon: Big B?
Big B: Yeah, it was me and my gang. We got all the stuff off of you guys.
Brandon: How did you know where we were?
Big B: Your tracker lost it’s signal around here so we looked here.
Brandon: Good call.
Big B: Truthfully, if you guys had tried hard enough, you would have been able to get out.
Brandon: We were watching Honeymoon in Vegas.
Big B: That’s a good movie.
Brandon: I’m tired. I’m going to take a nap.
Alice: Nic, how are all of your new movies doing?
Nic Cage: I’ve probably filmed about one hundred in these past few months.
Alice: That’s called devotion.
Nic Cage: There’s a reason that I’ve one an Academy Award.
Alice: I loved Leaving Las Vegas.
Nic Cage: That’s why we have six copies of that movie.
Alice: You can never have too many copies.
(Phone rings.)
Nic Cage: I have to answer that.
(Nic Cage answers the phone.)
Nic Cage: What? I got another movie role. I must be the most talented actor ever. Alice, I have to finish this call in the other room.
Alice: Okay.
(Nic Cage takes the phone into another room.)
Nic Cage: So you are saying that you found a good treasure spot. I must go to this place. It’s not far from here. I’m going now.
(Cage hangs up the phone.)
Nic Cage: I have to go film this movie now, Alice.
Alice: Do what you must.
Nic Cage: That’s why I married you.
(Nicolas Cage’s son, Kal-El, walks into the room with a Superman suit on.)
Kal-El: Daddy, I want to come.
Nic Cage: Your too young for this mission, I mean movie. You are a bright three year old though. You will make an excellent superhero someday. I must face this challenge alone though. Goodbye.
(Nic Cage opens the door to leave but is surprised to see Brandon Brown standing at his door.)
Brandon: I’m surprised you are actually home for once. I figured you would be out looking for….
Nic Cage: Good movie opportunities. That’s what I would be looking for. That’s what a great actor like me does. I do great movies.
Brandon: Yeah. Hey, is that your son?
Nic Cage: Yes. That is the future of mankind, Kal-El.
Brandon: You have him dressed as Superman and everything. You’re serious about this.
Kal-El: My daddy says I will be strong.
Brandon: He talks pretty good for a young kid.
Alice: He’s three.
Brandon: It’s Nic Cage’s wife. How do you put up will all of this guys treasure….
Nic Cage: Treasure movies. National Treasure movies. It’s hard to believe that there are two of those.
Alice: It is hard to believe.
Brandon: Cage, can I talk with you outside?
Nic Cage: Okay.
(They go outside.)
Brandon: You’ve never told her that you go treasure hunting?
Nic Cage: No, that ruins marriages. My marriages to Patricia Arquette and Lisa Marie Pressley were all ruined when they found out I was treasure hunting instead of movie making.
Brandon: That’s cool. Your secret is safe with me. I have another thing to say though.
Nic Cage: What?
Brandon: You are my partner this week on Sentinel. We will be wrestling on the same team.
Nic Cage: We’ll win for sure. I’m trained in every martial arts form possible. Who are the unlucky saps that we have to face?
Brandon: Declan Prescott and Will Smith.
Nic Cage: I hate Will Smith. He stole my role in the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. I’ll kill him.
Brandon: You could have been the Fresh Prince?
Nic Cage: Damn right. Now if you excuse me, I have a treasure to find.
Brandon: I guess I should come with you.
Nic Cage: You tried to steal my treasure last week.
Brandon: The treasure is all yours this week.
Nic Cage: Good.
(They head to some mountain place.)
Brandon: Is the treasure around here?
Nic Cage: It’s probably buried somewhere.
Brandon: How do you know where all this treasure is?
Nic Cage: I have sources.
Brandon: Do we have something to dig with?
Nic Cage: I have a shovel. You have to use your hands.
Brandon: Okay.
(Cage and Brandon start digging.)
Nic Cage: This treasure is nowhere to be found.
Brandon: Are you going to give up?
Nic Cage: Never.
(The mountain starts to rumble and Nic Cage and Brandon get buried in an avalanche.)
Brandon: This sucks.
Nic Cage: This seems familiar.
Brandon: How are we going to get out of here?
Nic Cage: Just you wait, Chocolate Boy will come and save the day.
Brandon: Of all the people, I never expected a Hey, Arnold reference from you.
Nic Cage: I loved that show.
Brandon: Too bad there won’t be anybody to save us. I guess this is where it ends for me. I thought it was over that one time I was trapped by Deathman too. I have a very unlucky life.
Nic Cage: Have you ever seen Honeymoon in Vegas? I have a portable DVD player if you want to watch.
Brandon: Okay.
(They finish the movie.)
Brandon: Was that really you jumping out of the plane in the Elvis costume?
Nic Cage: Yes. Why wouldn’t it be me? I’m Nic Fucking Cage. I can do all my own stunts.
Brandon: I believe you. Do you have any more movies we could watch?
Nic Cage: Nope. That was the only one in the DVD player. We could watch it again.
Brandon: Okay.
(They watch the movie again.)
Brandon: I have to say my favorite part is the poker game.
Nic Cage: I would have won that in real life.
Brandon: I wouldn’t doubt you.
(All of a sudden all the dirt is blown off of Cage and Brandon.)
Brandon: That must have been a strong wind.
Nic Cage: Amazing.
Brandon: Look over there.
Nic Cage: KAL-EL.
(The Superman theme plays while Kal-El is standing in front of Brandon and Cage.)
Nic Cage: I knew my boy was a hero. You’re already developing your superpowers.
Kal-El: I saved the day.
Nic Cage: Let’s go home son. Brandon, I will see you at Sentinel.
(Nic Cage takes Kal-El and leaves.)
Brandon: Kal-El couldn’t have really done that.
?: Nope, he didn’t.
Brandon: Big B?
Big B: Yeah, it was me and my gang. We got all the stuff off of you guys.
Brandon: How did you know where we were?
Big B: Your tracker lost it’s signal around here so we looked here.
Brandon: Good call.
Big B: Truthfully, if you guys had tried hard enough, you would have been able to get out.
Brandon: We were watching Honeymoon in Vegas.
Big B: That’s a good movie.
Brandon: I’m tired. I’m going to take a nap.