Battleground 2011

[Lord Hastings]

Vinegar: Welcome, one and all, to the fourth annual Battleground!

Covert Jay: Huttah!

Lieberjosch: A tentpole event of UGWC, derivative from the GIW, one of our two parent promotions, the Battleground event grants the winner the match of their choice at our flagship event, Horizons!

Covert Jay: Randy Boolzian, Donovan Hastings, and Travis Roberts have all won this event in the past, who will be triumphant this year, in the biggest Battleground ever?

Vinegar: But that's not all we have on tap for tonight, as three championships will be on the line, including the World Heavyweight Championship!

Lieberjosch: Donovan Hastings has twice fallen short in opportunities to win the World Heavyweight Title from the Jackal of Jwar Isle, we'll see if the third time can be the charm, as tonight he meets Tyvola one on one!

Vinegar: Let's get to the action!

"Headstrong"

Two spotlights aim to the top of the ramp as Steven Stone walks out. He looks around the arena, smiles before looking to the ring. The smile goes from his face as he reaches the ring. He rolls in before taking a deep breath to calm his nerves.

Dennis: The following contest is your opening contest of the evening and is scheduled for one fall! Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 250 lbs, from Washington, D.C., the Prodigy, STEVEN STOOOONNNNEEEEE!!!!!

Covert Jay: So why is this match on the card?

Vinegar: UGWC is dedicated to giving our fans the most bang for their buck.

Lieberjosch: What's more, we have three title matches here tonight, but by the end of the evening we will have champions that need new challengers, so the competition must always continue!

"Given to fly" by Pearl Jam hits as Enigma appears hanging from the rafters, wearing the CWA world title. As Eddie Vedder sings the line "He's flying", Enigma jumps off as if on cue and soars around the ring due to the fact that he is attatched to a guy wire which allows him to gradually soar to a turnbuckle. As soon as he lands, he detatches the wire and allows it to accend as he unhooks the title from his waist and holds it up for the crowd as cameras start going off everywhere. He then jumps down and rolls his neck before awaiting the start of the match.

Dennis: And his opponent, weighing in at 202 lbs, currently residing in Manchester City, England, Down Under's Best High Flyer, EEEEEEEEENIGMAA!!!!!

Vinegar: Enigma has seemed to be on the cusp of a breakthrough so many times in the past.

Lieberjosch: This is very true, he is a former Chaos Champion, captained a team last year at Outlast, but like you say, never seems able to take things to the next level.

Covert Jay: Perhaps that face paint that he likes putting on obstructs his ability to access his inner ninja.

Vinegar: No St. Jimmy here tonight, this is the traditional Enigma version of...Enigma. Um...

Lieberjosch: Hazel's ready.

DING DING!!

Vinegar: Double elbow tie-up starts us off, Stone wresting Enigma into a hammerlock.

Covert Jay: Enigma counters through it into a side suplex, and a cover!





ONE!!!





Vinegar: Stone shoves him off.

Lieberjosch: A quick cover there by Enigma, the in-ring veteran in this match, looking to finish it quickly.

Vinegar: Enigma crouches, waiting for Stone to get to his feet, hits a dropkick that knocks Stone stumbling back, and he falls in the corner.

Covert Jay: Enigma charges and hits a bronco buster!

Vinegar: He steps through the ropes and climbs the turnbuckle as Stone tries to get back to his feet.

Lieberjosch: Enigma comes off the turnbuckle and nails a bulldog on Stone!

Vinegar: Covers with a lateral press!





ONE!!





TWO!!





Vinegar: Stone kicks out!

Lieberjosch: Enigma pulling Stone back up, but Stone chops him in the chest, whips him off the ropes!

Covert Jay: Stone goes for a back drop, but Enigma leapfrogs him, hits the Firelighter!

Lieberjosch: Steven Stone is just being picked apart by Enigma here in this match.

Vinegar: Enigma to his feet, raises an arm, yells at Stone to get up as Stone stumbles to his feet.

Covert Jay: Thunder Child!

Lieberjosch: But Stone floats off to his feet, kicks Enigma in the chest!

Covert Jay: Stone Spinner!!!

Vinegar: Both men are down as Stone connects with that spinning neckbreaker, Hazel East starting the count.

Lieberjosch: And our fans will see a lot of this later tonight, don't forget that the only way to eliminate opponents in the Battleground Match are by submission, or keeping them down for a ten count!

Vinegar: Both men stirring at Hazel East reaches six, Stone grabs Enigma and whips him into a corner, charges after him.

Covert Jay: The Sting!

Lieberjosch: But Enigma moves out of the way, and Stone crashes into the turnbuckle, spills over it to ringside!

Vinegar: Enigma takes a moment to get his bearings, drops through the ropes to the outside, where Stone is partially underneath the apron. Enigma grabs him and drags him out.

Lieberjosch: But Stone spins his body and connects with a kick to the head!

Covert Jay: He's got his mask on!

Vinegar: Stone rolls Enigma into the ring, slides in after him. Enigma swings with a clothesline, Stone ducks under it, grabs Enigma!

Lieberjosch: The Prodigy Exemption!

Vinegar: Stone hooks the leg!





ONE!!!





TWO!!!





Vinegar: Enigma kicks out!

Lieberjosch: Stone sets Enigma up for a powerbomb.

Covert Jay: Enigma backdrops out of it!

Lieberjosch: And he plants Stone with a DDT!

Vinegar: Enigma slow to his feet, goes to the corner and the middle rope.

Covert Jay: FADER!!!

Vinegar: But Stone rolls out of the way! He sets Enigma up!

Covert Jay: THE IDENTITY CRISIS!!!!

Lieberjosch: But Enigma floats off it!

Covert Jay: He's got Stone's mask!

Vinegar: Steven Stone has been unmasked, and Enigma turns to the crowd and holds up it up!

Lieberjosch: Stone wraps him up from behind!

Covert Jay: Stone Throw!!!

Vinegar: He's got the cover!





ONE!!





TWO!!!!





THREE!!!!!!





Dennis: Here is your winner, STEVEN STOOONNNNEEEEEE!!!!

Vinegar: The Prodigy gets the victory!

Lieberjosch: A great effort on the part of both men, but it is the rookie that comes through with the win here tonight.

Covert Jay: Maybe the ninja is in the paint after all?

Vinegar: Stone starts us off with a win, but don't go anywhere! The Cooperative Championship is on the line, coming up next!

Steven Stone: 8
Enigma: 3

[Lord Hastings]

Vinegar: After a great opening contest to get us started here at Battleground, it's time for the championship matches to begin!

Covert Jay: And up first, is the Cooperative Championship!

The theme from Monty Python and the Holy Grail begins to play, and Chris Peterson emerges from backstage, dressed in his full knight regala.

Dennis: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the UGWC Cooperative Championship! Introducing first, the challenger, making his way to the ring, CHRIS PEEETTERRRRSONNNNNN!!!!

Covert Jay: Ridden on a horse.

Lieberjosch: Hold on a second, did Mitchell Dennis just say challenger? As in, singular?

Vinegar: Indeed he did, and we are getting word that Peterson's scheduled cooperative partner, Abigail Knight, will not be able to be here tonight. It would appear that Chris Peterson will in fact be on his own.

Lieberjosch: Against a cooperative team that, aside from one week, have held the championships all year.

Covert Jay: When you put it like that, it sounds like it's not going to go well for him.

Lieberjosch: It isn't.

'Quick Death'

Dennis: Now making their way to the ring, they are the reigning and defending Cooperative Champions...Johnny Blake, Duncan Ryder...THE THAMES VALLEY HIT SQUAD!!!!

Vinegar: Johnny Blake leading the way to the ring, Duncan Ryder looking very amused as he follows his partner.

Lieberjosch: I mean, the Hit Squad have had some easy defenses at times this year, but this really should be a cake walk. I can't believe we're making people pay for this.

Covert Jay: Nobody was paying for it to begin with. They're paying for the Battleground Match.

Lieberjosch: And to see Tyvola.

Vinegar: Sam Green is ready, this match is underway!

DING DING!

Vinegar: It's going to be Duncan Ryder that starts the match for the champions, as he starts Peterson with a right hand, now a chop to the chest.

Covert Jay: And hurts his hand on the armor!

Vinegar: Appears Ryder didn't expect that, must be something stronger than tin tonight, and it gives Peterson an opening to take Ryder down with an arm drag. He traps the arm and applies pressure, but Ryder elbows him away with the free arm.

Lieberjosch: Ryder shoves Peterson into the Hit Squad's corner, now hammers him with repeated shoulder thrusts.

Vinegar: Tag to Blake, he comes into the ring.

Covert Jay: But Peterson nails him right away with a right hand, fights him towards the center of the ring, ducks a clothesline and hits a side suplex!

Lieberjosch: Leg Biter!

Vinegar: Johnny Blake manages to kick Peterson away before he can secure the anklelock.

Lieberjosch: But a smart move by Chris Peterson, looking for an early submission, good strategy here in what has essentially become a handicap match.

Vinegar: Blake with a spinebuster on Peterson, and now a cover!





ONE!!!





TWO!!!!!





Vinegar: Peterson kicks out!

Lieberjosch: Blake makes the tag to Ryder, Duncan Ryder comes into the ring and puts Peterson into a full nelson!

Vinegar: Blake unloading with a few strikes, Sam Green ushers him out of the ring, as Ryder lifts Peterson into a full nelson slam!

Lieberjosch: Effective teamwork by the Cooperative Champions.

Covert Jay: Poor teamwork by Chris Peterson.

Vinegar: He doesn't have a partner.

Covert Jay: Didn't stop Tyler Durden.

Vinegar: And now Ryder puts Peterson into a standing dragon sleeper!

Covert Jay: DRAAGGONNNNNNNNNN!!!!!

Vinegar: Peterson struggling against the hold, but he looks like he is fading fast!

Lieberjosch: But Chris Peterson refuses to give up, and now Sam Green raises the arm!

Covert Jay: It falls!

Vinegar: You have to respect the effort Chris Peterson has put out, taking on two men and refusing to give in, but he may be beaten right here!

Covert Jay: The arm falls a second time!

Lieberjosch: And as it goes down a third time, this match is over!

Covert Jay: BUT IT STAYS UP!

Vinegar: The crowd firmly behind Chris Peterson, his arm waving in the air!

Lieberjosch: But Duncan Ryder lifts him into a dragon sleeper slam!

Vinegar: And now the crowd voices their displeasure as Ryder opens his arms to them.

Lieberjosch: Ryder is unfazed, tagging out to Johnny Blake, the Hit Squad keeping each other fresh in this match.

Vinegar: Blake pulling Peterson back up.

Covert Jay: But Peterson surprises him with a T-Bone suplex!

Vinegar: Both men are down, Peterson uses the ropes to pull himself back up, and now he grabs the foot of Blake!

Covert Jay: LEG BITER!!! LEG BITER!!!

Lieberjosch: But Blake gets on his other leg, delivers an enziguri to the back of the head!

Vinegar: Blake holding his ankle for a moment, gets to his feet, standing over the downed Peterson.

Lieberjosch: MUPPET BREAKER!!!

Vinegar: An elevated texas cloverleaf, Chris Peterson has nowhere to go!

Lieberjosch: He's stretching for the ropes, but they are entirely out of reach!

Vinegar: He's going to have to tap!

Covert Jay: MISTRESS!!!

Vinegar: Calypso Desmona rushing down the ramp, she slides in!

Lieberjosch: Sam Green trying to get rid of her, argument ensues!

Vinegar: Desmona just slid something past Green towards Peterson!

Covert Jay: It's a rubber chicken!

Vinegar: Peterson grabs the chicken, twists his body, smacks Blake in the back of the head!

Lieberjosch: Calypso has gone out to the apron, Ryder rushing into the ring, Green cutting him off, forcing him back towards the corner!

Covert Jay: Calypso looking good tonight, wearing black latex, got a little bit of bling-bling on the belt.

Vinegar: Why did Green let her stay on the apron?

Covert Jay: Hastings paid for a Cooperative Title match for Peterson and a partner, right?

Vinegar: Oh, you're kidding me.

Lieberjosch: Blake released the hold after Peterson hit him with the chicken, Blake turns back around and Peterson drops him with a toe hold!

Covert Jay: And now he yanks out the pulley from the chicken and uses the cord to choke Blake!

Vinegar: Green finally has Ryder out of the ring, Peterson rolls to the corner, tags in Calypso!

Covert Jay: Calypso to the turnbuckle, hits a missile dropkick on Blake!

Vinegar: Ryder rushes back into the ring, runs right into a monkey flip!

Lieberjosch: They weren't ready for this!

Vinegar: Blake trying to get back to his feet, still holding his throat, but Calypso grabs him!

Covert Jay: A KISS BY CHAOS!!!

Vinegar: Desmona makes a tag to Peterson, and she vaults the ropes for a crossbody splash on Ryder at ringside! Peterson measures Blake as he struggles back to his feet!

Covert Jay: FLESH WOUND!!!

Vinegar: The cover!





ONE!!!





TWO!!!!!





THREE!!!!!!!





Dennis: Here are your winners, CALYPSO DESMONA and CHRIS PEEEETTTERRRRSONNNNN!!!!!

Vinegar: What an improbable result, what an upset!

Lieberjosch: Calypso Desmona takes the place of the absent Abigail Knight, and she and Chris Peterson have dethroned the Thames Valley Hit Squad and won the Cooperative Championship!

Covert Jay: Caramba!!

Vinegar: What else will happen here tonight, at Battleground?

[Lord Hastings]

"Phucking Phear" by Velvet Acid Christ blares through the PA, as Deimos walks out, hands outstretched and mallet slung over his shoulder. He looks to be focused, ready for tonight.

Vinegar: There he is. Formerly just known as 'Fear' in the LWF, now Phrixus Deimos here in the UGWC, he's sure as hell been memorable and a former World Champ last year, could the Chaos Title be the start of his return to glory?

Lieberjosch: Ha! I doubt it, that belt signifies everything that's wrong with this industry. When that hardcore crap reached it's peak in the 90s, I hoped it would eventually fizzle out and fade away, but no, it's been sitting there at the bottom of the sports entertainment ladder, stinking up the place like garbage always does. Hell, the only diamond in this dump they call the hardcore, division, is-

"How to Make a Monster" plays, right on cue, NBK stalking out like a predatory junglecat, gripping his title tightly. His trenchcoat is open, the collar of it messed up.

Lieberjosch: Ahhh, there he is. He's a man who can go places. He's big, he's strong, he's deceivingly fast, he's mean, maniacal and methodical to really climb the ranks. Look at him throw the title against the security railing before sliding in. He knows what a dead weight that title is, and I commend him for realizing that.

Covert Jay: Do you have any Gray Poupod?

Vinegar: Well anyway, the bell's rung, and this match is underway! Deimos placing that Mallet of Doom(TM) outside carefully, NBK throwing that coat of his outside carelessly, not taking his presumed gaze off the smaller, speedier competitor. A slow build, here, perhaps a showing of respect from both men?

Lieberjosch: I think it's rather mindgames played by both men. They're well aware of what the other can do, and this time there's no Travis Pierce to interrupt them. Look at how cautious they are, circling around each other, we can't see the Natural Born Killer's eyes, but I have a feeling they're focused squarely on The Embodiment of Foolishness, there. And they lock up!

Covert Jay: Awwwww why?

Vinegar: Not all matches can be spotfests and martial arts tournaments, Jay, and NBK not showing much technical prowess in headbutting Deimos then shoving him into a turnbuckle, but it's sure effective. NBK making a beeline toward Deimos, no, kick to the groin, Deimos grabs his head, smashes it right into the turnbuckle. He keeps doing it, too, until the Killer powers out of it and shoves Deimos away. This is all legal, folks.

Lieberjosch: Deimos attempting foolishly to rush in, and takes a standing lariat for his troubles. And now the Natural Born Killer leaps up into the air, and hits a jumping elbow drop, right into the chest of his opposition!

Covert Jay: Ooooooh YEAAAAAH! RIP, Mach.

Lieberjosch: Ha ha ha, look at Deimos flop like a boneless fish. Killer with the cover, doesn't bother hooking the legs.

Peterson: 1!

2! Kickout!

Vinegar: It'll take more than that to put Deimos away. NBK to his feet, and hits Deimos with a vicious stomp, right across his skull! Reaching down, pulling Deimos up by his hair, but Deimos breaks the hold! Steps into NBK's guard, drops to a knee and dumps NBK behind him with a fireman's carry. Both men getting to their feet, but Deimos is faster, hits a spear! Smashes NBK into that turnbuckle, Deimos turns it into a collection of shoulder thrusts!

Lieberjosch: This early in and Deimos is already showing signs of desparation, that's not a good sign. the Killer slumps to a seated position, of course, Deimos leaping up to the top rope.

Covert Jay: Holy crap! He went for almost a split legged moonsault, but flipped 3 times before hitting a dropkick, right into the face of NBK! That was the most vicious impact I've ever seen!

Vinegar: That was a heavy hit, Deimos pulling up NBK, trying to irish whip him to the opposite corner. No, NBK reverses it and whips Deimos in, NBK still dangerous even after taking that move. NBK now blitzing using that impressive speed of his, going for a big splash! No, Deimos charging forward, spinning, ROARING ELBOW, that discuss forearm shot smashing full on into the face of NBK, both men down, Deimos nursing that arm, NBK holding his face and rolling around.

Lieberjosch: That was quite needless of Deimos, it's that sort of carelessness that's going to lose him this match.

Vinegar: What about NBK's recklessness?

Lieberjosch: It's different when you're a big powerful monster, Nicholas, as the Natural Born Killer will no doubt show us.

Covert jay: Well, Deimos getting up, and slowly going over to the turnbuckle...maybe a Meteor Press?

Vinegar: I doubt that, NBK proving he's resilient AND smart, springing up from that short possum to smash a right fist, straight into the face of Deimos, staggering him on top of that turnbuckle!

Lieberjosch: Ha ha, that's why taking the top rope isn't at all worth the effort! Oh...what's this? The Killer, he's also climbing that turnbuckle...Oh no, this, this isn't good, what are you doing?

Vinegar: NBK not usually going up top for any reason, could he be feeling the effects of the match so far? Both hands reaching up, grabbing the throat of Deimos, he's on the second turnbuckle, who's choking the man above him!

Covert Jay: Oh man, '80s shout-out! Mongolian chop to the temples of NBK, hey, you notice there's a bit of red in that mask of his?

Lieberjosch: It's blood, you simpleton, his mask is soaking up his blood, probably from being smashed in the face repeatedly in this match. And the Natural Born Killer paying for that most unfortunate lapse in judgement, I hope he learns after this!

Vinegar: Deimos putting NBK's head between his legs, getting him in powerbomb position...oh no, guys, he's looking over here.

Lieberjosch: Ha! Don't be ridiculous, Nicholas, there's no way he'd have the strength to deadlift that big monster into a powerbomb, and then somehow leap all the way over here to our announce table. And if he's seriously thinking about it, he's nothing but a Grade A Mor..oh god.

Covert Jay: Coming this way! CHEESE IT!

The three announcers scatter like the wind as Deimos lifts NBk for a powerbomb, then leaps from the turnbuckle, obliterating the announce table with the Killer. The fans all erupt in cheers, and cheer continuously as NBK isn't moving, and Deimos stays kneeling there, clearly massively tired from that attempt. And when he tries moving, a pained expression on his face makes it clear that landing on his knees out on the pavement wasn't doing them any favors. NBK slowly twitches, working on rolling to his side, it looks like he cut his leg on the monitor, fresh blood oozing down even as fresh red plasma drips from the nose of his mask, it's rather obscene. You kneel down, ignoring your disgust to get a most beautiful shot of this horror scene, the way that, in this light, with thise lense, at this angle, the viewers at home might almost see the faint outlines of the Natural Born Killer's mouth.

Eventually you pan to the other savage, the suicidal maniac who decided to endanger everyone all for a move that was foolish to begin with. He's crawling like a babe over to that mallet of his, the one he brought with him, and you're horrified that he wants to inflict more punishment on another human being, one he's already put at severe risk! The knowledge that the other would do the same doesn't make it right in your eyes. Sighing even as you notice the three returning tentatively to their seats as the masked man crawls away from the wreckage, you commit yourself to making sure this match was covered in full, knowing there was yet more chaos to come tonight...

Covert Jay: THAT WAS FREAKING AWESOME!

Vinegar: We're sorry about that, folks, you never know what can happen here in the UGWC!

Lieberjosch: Well, that's more true if you aren't a doctor and expert on the subject, like myself. Look at Deimos take advantage of the Killer's vulnerability! He can't even stand, but he still smashes that mallet right into the bleeding face of the Natural Born Killer!

Vinegar: I'm not sure how wise a move that earlier powerbomb was, but it's certainly punished his opponent quite a bit. However, how is Deimos going to get that man back into the ring?

Covert Jay: He doesn't seem worried about that. Rolls NBK face-down, grabs at that arm...

Vinegar: Millennial Decay! That mix between a cobra and a camel clutch, modified as Deimos has to kneel to the side of NBK, it's almost like a crossface now. NBK groaning out, even a brute like him is feeling the effects of this match!

Lieberjosch: He's also working on getting out of that hold, Deimos is so tired and distracted by pain that he's not able to lock it in tight enough. And the Killer is a resourceful competitor, look at him reach his free hand back. Nothing fancy there, he's just digging his fingers into what might be a busted kneecap, look at Deimos screaming and letting go, raining down clubbing blows on the back of the Natural Born Killer's head!

Vinegar: And those blows convince NBK to let go, but he immediately works to his feet, grabbing Deimos' hair, pulling him hard to his feet. And Deimos, clearly bothered by that sudden movement, in clear pain as he's rolled into the ring! NBK close behind, now crouching in wait as Deimos works to his feet. This is almost sick, now!

Covert Jay: Tyger Tyger, burning bright.

Lieberjosch: This is what happens in the king's jungle, Nicholas. Deimos stupidly working to his feet, hobbling around slowly, doesn't he know what's going to hit him? Just like what just happened?

Covert Jay: RUMOUR HAS IT! HOLY SHIT, THEY BOTH SPUN IN CIRCLES IN THE AIR BEFORE CRASHING TO THE MAT!

Lieberjosch: Indeed they did, my brain-addled associate, but the Killer isn't done here. Rolling Deimos facedown, getting on top, and it looks like he's Releasing the Screams!

Vinegar: This is sick, Deimos can't even breathe, look at his eyes rolling around in his head! Peterson immediately grabbing at the Embodiment of Fear's arm, lifting it up once...twice...a third time, and he rings the bell!

Owen Peterson: It's over, stop the match!

DING DING DING!

Mitchell Dennis: The winner of this match, by result of submission, and STILL CHAOS CHAMPION, THE NATURAL...BORRRRRRRRN...KILLLLLLLLLERRRRRR!

Vinegar: Look at that, NBK's finally let go of that hold, letting Deimos flop and gasp for air. He's not even celebrating, just rolling out the ring, grabbing his title, and walking out.

Lieberjosch: After all, if you win the Chaos Title, did you ever really win?

Covert Jay: ...Yeah, that was pretty clearly a win. You're kind of dumb sometimes, no offense.

Lieberjosch: ...ohhh, just can it, birdbrain!

[Lord Hastings]

Vinegar: Now it's time for our Co-Main Event of the evening. The Heavyweight title is on the line and not only that but the winner of this match will no doubt have the honour of headlining our flagship Pay Per View Horizons at the end of the year.

Lieberjosch: That all sounds good but you know what worries me?

Jay: You haven't got a home and nobody loves you?

Lieberjosch: My mother loves me!

Jay: Your Mom died like ten years ago, you told me.

Lieberjosch: It still counts!

Vinegar: Mom's don't count in the first place but I'm guessing you had an actual point you wanted to get to.

Lieberjosch: Yes, thank you. My point was that after Donovan Hastings becomes the World Champion again in this match and Jet Somers wins the Battleground match we're likely to end up with the same main event to Horizons as last year.

Vinegar: I think it's a little early and presumptive to be worrying about that.

Lieberjosch: Wanna bet?

Jay: With what? I don't care how desperate you are I'm not betting my money against a blow job.

Ripper starts to play.

Vinegar: Saved by the bell.

Donovan Hastings walks out onto the ramp, his regal cloak draped over him. He poses to a chorus of boos then makes his way towards the ring.

Dennis: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the UGWC World Heavyweight Championship! Introducing first the challenger! From Hartford, Connecticut! Weighing in at 230lbs! The Lord of Pain! Donovan Haaaaastiiiiings!!!

Hastings gets down to the ring and climbs the steps and through the ropes.

Vinegar: You really think Hastings has a chance in this one?

Lieberjosch: Of course.

Jay: I thought you had a hard-on for Tyvola.

Lieberjosch: Tyvola could have been great. But without my leadership he is just an animal. Hastings is a hunter, and we know what happens in Hunter vs Animal encounters.

Jay: The hunter gets mauled in an orgy of primal fury?

Lieberjosch: No!

Jay: We'll see.

The lights go out and a red glow emanates from under the ring. Come Together starts to play and Tyvola ambles out onto the ramp. The titles belt is held lazily over his left shoulder.

Dennis: And his opponent! From Parts Unknown! Weighing in at 376lbs! He is the UGWC World Heavyweight Champion! The Bestial Butcher! Tyvolaaaaaaa!!!

Tyvola stomps to the ring, climbs onto the apron and over the top rope. He and Hastings face off in the middle of the ring going eye to eye, nose to chest.

Ding! Ding!

Vinegar: There's the bell and both men immediately grabbing hold of the other with one hand and opening up with the other. Tyvola overpowering Hastings though and knocking him back to the ropes. Hastings looks dazed already and Tyvola with a two handed choke lift.

Lieberjosch: Illegal move!

Vinegar: Referee Brian Chartreuse is all over it and is counting the choke, gets to four and- Tyvola just tossed Hastings right out of the ring to the floor in front of us. Sweet Jesus, it's too early for this kind of thing.

Jay: It may give us an idea of where this match is going.

Vinegar: Hastings on the back foot from the get go here. He's getting to his feet but Tyvola is on him. Clubbing blows to the back and neck then tossed shoulder first into the ring steps.

Lieberjosch: It's ok, Hastings can overcome this. He's a perfectly conditioned athlete. He can get through it and come back when Tyvola tires.

Vinegar: I don't know about you but I've never seen Tyvola tired. He's picked Hastings up again and tossed him into the ring as the referee got to the six count and climbs in after. Hastings trying to get up and get some distance, backs to the corner. Tyvola's on him- Hastings rakes the eyes.

Jay: Where's your illegal move shout now Hans?

Vinegar: Hastings claiming he just hit him and Chartreuse was out of position to tell otherwise. That's not going to slow Tyvola down much though and Hastings ducks behind him just in time to avoid a wild blind swing and pulls Tyvola's legs out from under him, floats over into a side headlock.

Lieberjosch: That's the strategy, grind him down. Hastings is a master ring general. He's been stopped by outside influences before but tonight will be his night now he has Tyvola one on one.

Vinegar: Tyvola simply getting to all fours and powering to his feet with that headlock still on. Hastings rolls back to land behind him again.

Lieberjosch: Great display of agility. Hastings has many more attributes than simple size and strength.

Vinegar: I thought power guys were your thing.

Lieberjosch: They are, but Hastings has power and skill and agility. Tyvola is just a large brawler.

Vinegar: Well while Hans was yammering Hastings ducked a wild back handed swing and dropkicked Tyvola into the corner. That didn't do much good though and Hastings was only just able to get to his feet before Tyvola set upon him again.

Jay: And Hastings ninja rolled under a big boot attempt.

Vinegar: You're calling Hastings a ninja now?

Jay: One of them has to be or I'll have nothing to say and it's sure not going to be Tyvola.

Vinegar: Point. Hastings comes up behind Tyvola again and hits and chop block that puts the Mountain Madman down to one knee. Follows up with a low DDT and here's the first cover of the match.

1!

Vinegar: Tyvola powers out, hefting Hastings into the air and away.

Lieberjosch: The Immortal is first to his feet though and landing clubbing blows on Tyvola as he tries to get up.

Vinegar: Tries and succeeds, Tyvola fights through the barrage and shoves Hastings back with one hand to make enough space to get up. Hastings straight back after him-

Jay: Clothesline from hell! Tyvola almost took Hastings head off!

Vinegar: Huge move from The Jackal of Jwar Isle! That should have turned this match around.

Lieberjosch: He's not smart enough to go for a pin though.

Vinegar: You think that clothesline would have one it for him?

Lieberjosch: Well no, it'd take much more than that. My point is...

Jay: Is?

Lieberjosch: Shut up I'm thinking.

Vinegar: Tyvola dropping huge boots down on Hastings prone form and The Lord of Pain is forced to scramble away and under the bottom rope.

Lieberjosch: Fall back and regroup. The classic sign of the clever strategist.

Vinegar: Hastings able to get a little breathing room but he still needs to watch his back. Tyvola follows him out and just clocks him over the back of the head. That just dropped him. Tyvola pulling him back up by the back of the head and just tossed him face first at the ring post.

Lieberjosch: Did The Lord get a hand up?

Vinegar: Given how hard he went down it doesn't look like it. Tyvola pulling him to his feet again. Jawbreaker from Hastings!

Lieberjosch: Great counter from a little possum playing. I knew it.

Vinegar: That's only managed to stagger Tyvola back and Hastings slides into the ring. Chartreuse up to 8 and even Tyvola knows he has to get back into the ring.

Jay: I doubt that. He may just be chasing after Hastings.

Vinegar: True. Hastings not wanting to give him time to right himself and dropping stomps on JoJI as he slides in and tries to get back to his feet, following up with an elbow drop. Now trying to isolate an arm. Maybe looking for a submission move. Tyvola shoves out with that arm though and forces Hastings to do a backward roll.

Lieberjosch: The Lord Chief did a backward roll on purpose to get him back to his feet quickly.

Vinegar: Tyvola though gets to his knee and charges like a Defensive Tackle and slams into Hastings, driving him into the corner and the wind out of his body. Irish whip from Tyvola, throws Hastings across the ring and he hits the turnbuckle chest first and staggers back into an atomic drop.

Jay: Oh he won't be sitting comfortably for a long time.

Vinegar: Hastings turns back into a powerslam and Tyvola holds it for the cover.

1!


2!


Lieberjosch: Not enough!

Vinegar: It's looking like it's getting close though. Tyvola pulls Hastings up to his feet and throws him over the top rope to the outside once again and climbs out after him. Hastings pushing himself up and Tyvola helps him out. He's just gorilla pressed Hastings overhead and snake eyed over the crowd barrier.

Lieberjosch: I'm noting your lack of use of the Lord's proper title. He shall hear about it.

Vinegar: I assure you I'm quaking in my boots. Hastings takes a wild swing at Tyvola but the Bestial Butcher blocks it, pins Hastings arm to his side and- 3C! Catastrophic Cave-in Causer onto the edge of the apron. That could have literally broken Hastings in half!

Lieberjosch: He looks intact to me.

Jay: On the outside maybe.

Vinegar: Tyvola pulls Hastings up again, another gorilla press and he just throws him in over the top rope. What strength!

Lieberjosch: I've seen stronger.

Jay: Really? Who?

Lieberjosch: You wouldn't know him.

Vinegar: Tyvola back in the ring now and Hastings on his knees. Tyvola with a soccer kick to the head- No Hastings ducks away just in time!

Lieberjosch: Great escape.

Vinegar: Hastings leaps to him feet and takes Tyvola down with a neckbreaker and both men are down. Referee starting to count.

1!

2!

3!

Vinegar: Not going to be a cliché drawn out thing. These two both stirring early and Hastings arguably getting to his feet faster but only just. Opening up with right hands to Tyvola and actually pushing him back to the ropes. Looking for an Irish whip but Tyvola blocking it. Pulls Hastings back into a short arm clothesline.

Lieberjosch: But The Lord Chief ducks it and gets behind him and pulls Ty's head back onto his knee for a modified neckbreaker manoeuvre

Vinegar: Tyvola goes down and Hastings locks in a camel clutch!

Lieberjosch: He could make him tap! What a way to win the title making the Mountain Madman tap!

Jay: Who's ever tapped to a camel clutch? Really? I mean in the last two decades at least.

Vinegar: Hastings seeming to be zeroing in on Tyvola's neck. Tyvola's forcing his way out of that hold though. He's pushing to his feet but Hastings holds onto him.

Jay: Whee! Piggy back!

Vinegar: And Tyvola just falls on him. Hastings has just been crushed!

Lieberjosch: He holds on though and transitions into a sleeper hold.

Jay: Or as the modern world calls it a Rear Naked Choke.

Lieberjosch: You mean as though idiot cage fighters call it. What the hell is naked about it anyway?

Vinegar: Tyvola not fading any time soon though. He rolls over and once again pushes up to his feet with Hastings clinging on. Runs backwards and rams him into the turnbuckle this time.

Lieberjosch: The Lord holds on!

Vinegar: Tyvola charges across the ring and spins at the last moment to ram Hastings back into the opposite turnbuckle.

Lieberjosch: And still he keeps that hold. Tyvola's fading!

Vinegar: Tyvola reaches and grabs Hastings head and just drops to his backside, improvising a stunner like move. That broke the hold and Hastings falls back slumped into that turnbuckle. Tyvola up again and charges- big boot-

Lieberjosch: Drop toe hold by Hastings! Tyvola goes face first into the middle turnbuckle!

Vinegar: Hastings climbing over Tyvola and dropping 12 – 6 elbows onto the back of his neck. Those could do some serious serious damage. Tyvola trying to fight back swinging his elbows back but Hastings blocking the blows. Tyvola trying to power out and again and forcing his way up but Hastings is still behind him. Waist lock-

Jay: Oh he can't-

Vinegar: Can he?

Lieberjosch: He can!

Vinegar: Hastings with a monumental effort just German Suplexed Tyvola! I can't believe I just saw that! Here's a cover!

1!


2!


Lieberjosch: So close!

Vinegar: Hastings thinks so too. He's arguing that that was a three count but Brian Chartreuse is having none of it and while Hastings wastes time Tyvola is getting back up.

Lieberjosch: He's seen him. It's fine.

Vinegar: Hastings gets Tyvola in a front face lock and- Ok now he's being ridiculous. I can only assume he's looking for Destiny's Call but he can't lift Tyvola from that position.

Lieberjosch: He could if he wanted to.

Vinegar: And I suppose he's wanted Tyvola to counter with a huge vertical suplex of his own.

Lieberjosch: There's a plan.

Vinegar: Well Tyvola pulling him up to his feet again-

Lieberjosch: Hastings drops into a low front dropick to both of Tyvola's knees! Tyvola's drops and The Lord locks in a...a...

Jay: Triangle choke! He looks like he's got that locked in tight.

Vinegar: Tyvola trying to power out of it but it looks like those shots to his knees have taken his base out from under him and he collapses.

Lieberjosch: He's fading. The Lord Chief is going to render Tyvola unconscious!

Vinegar: Chartreuse seems to agree with you. He's moving in and raising Tyvola's arm.

Lieberjosch: It fell! That's one.

Jay: And there's a second.

Vinegar: And raised for a third. He lets go-























Lieberjosch: No!

Vinegar: Tyvola's still in this! With a mighty roar he's lifted Hastings up. Tyvola with the Lord of Pain held high above his head, still clinging onto that hold and POWERBOMB!!! TYVOLA JUMPS INTO A SITOUT POWERBOMB FROM HELL!!! I swear the whole arena just shook with that impact! Hastings is broken! Tyvola with the cover!

1!



2!



3!

Ding! Ding! Ding!

Dennis: Here is your winner and still the UGWC World Heavyweight Champion! Tyvolaaaaaaa!!!

Vinegar: Tyvola's done it again. Another challenger vanquished by the Jackal of Jwar Isle.

Lieberjosch: He was so close.

Vinegar: That he was but Tyvola reigns supreme one again today. He's taking his belt and setting off into the back. Someone needs to get out here to peel Hastings off the mat before the Battleground match gets started. That's next, don't go anywh-

Teahouse starts to play.

Jay: DRAGOOOOOON!!!

Lieberjosch: What the hell is he doing here? He's not even on the card.

Vinegar: You've gotta ask why Sam Green is next to him too, and why he's wearing ring gear.

Jay: Well Hastings just sat up. Good to see he's not dead.

Vinegar: Someone just gave Alex Kiseragi a mic.

Kiseragi: Hastings! A month ago now I made you an offer, a very good offer. You would face me and allow us to end this right here tonight and hey, if you were lucky you would still get your title match. But you turned me down. Not only that, but you disrespected me and waved me off like I was nobody.

Lieberjosch: To be fair, what has he done recently?

Kiseragi: Let me set something straight. We are not done until I say we're done.

Alex laughs a little.

Kiseragi: For all the intellect you'd claim to have you failed to think of one thing. If I want a match with you I can buy a match with you for much less than I offered you, and that's what I've done. You and me are going to have our match. If I win, Chris Peterson comes back to the Dragon's Cave and now, if you win, you don't get shit.

Pause for effect.

Kiseragi: Now this seems fitting to me. I remember after beating you in a hard fought match you chose to attack me and take me out for six months. Well, what goes around comes around Donny. Because our match is happening...right...now.

Lieberjosch: What!?

Jay: DRAGOOOOON!!!

Lieberjosch: The Lord just did battle with Tyvola and has to face Kiseragi now?

Vinegar: Looks like it.

Kiseragi charges the ring and dives in between the bottom and middle ropes as Hastings scrambles to his feet.

Ding! Ding!

Vinegar: We have an official match here folks and Kiseragi is all over Donovan Hastings from the get go. He's driven him into the corner and unleashed a barrage of kicks to the body, doubling Hastings over.

Lieberjosch: This is an outrage!

Vinegar: Kiseragi tosses him to the floor and leaps to the top rope. Hastings gets up and gets taken down with a missile dropkick. Hastings tries to scramble out of the ring but Kiseragi grabs a handful of hair and pulls him to his feet. Knee to the sternum by the Dragon, Irish whip and Hastings comes back into an Alarm Clock by Kiseragi.

Lieberjosch: Where is the justice? Where is Kiseragi's honour?

Vinegar: Enziguri drops Hastings to the mat again and he crawls away to the corner.

Jay: The Dragon stalking him from across the ring.

Vinegar: Here come Chris Peterson!

Lieberjosch: Now what does he want? Come to gloat with Kiseragi over this horrible assault.

Vinegar: One half of the new Cooperative Champions just slid into the ring.

Jay: With a big ass sword. Looks at that thing, it's awesome!

Lieberjosch: Oh he's going to join in is he? The Lord gave him a chance to become a champion and this is how he repays him?

Vinegar: Alex looking for the Yari kick but Chris just held out an arm to stop him and took that sword, sheath and all off his back. He's closing on Hastings now. It's time for some payback for all Hastings has done to the Peterson family over these last years.

Jay: And Hastings just grabbed Sam Green. He's cowering behind him,using him as a human shield.

Vinegar: Kiseragi and Peterson closing and- OH MY GOD! CHRIS PETERSON JUST SMACKED KISERAGI BETWEEN THE EYES WITH THE POMMEL OF THAT SWORD! KISERAGI'S OUT OF IT!!!

Jay: Traitor! Turncoat!

Lieberjosch: Yes! Justice!

Vinegar: I can't quite believe what just happened. Chris has slid out of the ring and Hastings has released Sam Green who didn't see anything. Hastings crawls across the floor to make the cover.

1!


2!


3!

Ding! Ding! Ding!

Dennis: Here is your winner! Donovan Haaaaastings!!!

Donovan rolls of Alex to the outside where Chris holds him up. Hastings steadies himself and Chris raises Donovan's hand in victory as they back up the ramp. Alex stirs and rolls over, getting to all fours and watching the two of them go, shaking his head. Donovan and Chris laugh.

Kiseragi: It's not over!

He shouts loud enough to be audible with a microphone but Hastings and Peterson just turn their backs and disappear out of sight.

Vinegar: Alex Kiseragi just got betrayed by a kid he's only ever tried to help and- hey where are you going?

Jay: I think he needs a hand.

Covert Jay gets out from behind the announce table and slides into the ring, helping Alex to his feet as the Dragon looks unsteady, holding his head. Jay helps him out of the ring and up the ramp.

Vinegar: Well, I think I already said it once but I think it's true now. We've got just one match left. Battleground and it's going to be the biggest yet. Don't go anywhere!

Tyvola:7
Donovan Hastings:6

[Lord Hastings]

Vinegar: It's time for what we've all been waiting for, the match this event is named after, it's time for us to enter The Battleground. The huge barbed wire cell is being slowly lowered into over the ring, and even though we all know your thoughts on 'garbage' wrestling even you have to appreciate how ominously it has hung over the ring all night.

Lieberjosch: With most 'garbage' wrestling matches they loom over most Pay-Per-Views rendering them almost impossible, but even I can admit Battleground is something different. This isn't just violence for violence sake. Each of the competitors fought hard to gain entry tonight, and they'll do the same to be the first man standing.

Vinegar: And for an amazing prize too, the winner of this match gets to choose whatever match they like at UGWC's Flagship end of year Pay-Per-View, Horizons. Who can forget last year when travis Roberts added this match to his lon list of achievements and went on to face Declan Prescott in 2010's match of the year. Or when Donovan Hastings took the first step towards his first GIW Global Championship reign.

Covert Jay: Or when Randy Boolzian won it within months of joining the company, like a true Red Bull Ninja.

Vinegar: This is a match where history is made, legends are born and quite possibly careers can be ended.

Covert Jay: And this year it's even BIGGER!

Vinegar: That's right, this will be the biggest Battleground match of all time with 8 competitors entering that construction with the aim to be the last man standing.

Covert Jay: Or woman.

Vinegar: That's right, however it's worth noting that in fact Gabrielle Montgomery is not the first female competitor to enter this structure, both Chassie Fear and Chinatsu Chen competed in 2009's event.

Lieberjosch: She's no Pioneer.

Vinegar: Indeed, and this year we have three competitors who have entered this structure before, Medos, Jet Somers and Travis pierce all appeared last year. Crimson ghost also can draw advice from Chinatsu Chen, probably the only time he's needed to ask his tutor for advice.

Lieberjosch: It's a shame Gabby can't ask Jack Severino for advice.

Vinegar: That's a low blow, the man's in a coma.

Lieberjosch: I doubt he'd offer her advice if he snapped out of it anyway, given she's spread her legs for the most repulsive aspects of the roster in his absence.

Vinegar: Let's concentrate on the actual match shall we?

Lieberjosch: You're the one that started talking about the experiences of those close to tonight's competitor's, I was just following the natural thread.

Vinegar: Some have argued that winning the Battleground Match is possibly one of the most difficult things you can do in the industry. There is no doubt that the Infinity Tournament and Outlast are formiddable tasks, but this is on a different level. 7 other people will be trying to beat the eventual winner senseless during this match.

Covert Jay: And with weapons, Outlast and Infinity is pure wrestling, this match can get insane.

Vinegar: And in yet another twist to proceedings, whilst random weapons are usually placed underneath the ring, this year each of the 8 competitors has been asked to assemble a battle bag containing 3 weapons of their choosing, and all these weapons will be underneath the ring as well.

Lieberjosch: Are these bags locked?

Vinegar: i'm not even sure there are bags, that may have been a metaphorical suggestion, for all we know they're just scattered willy nilly beneath the canvas...

Lieberjosch: Where anyone can get their hands on them?

Covert Jay: That sounds like Battleground.

Vinegar: indeed, the weapons these individuals have chosen could well lead to their own demise. There could be irony abound tonight.

Covert Jay: My friend said the other day that I didn't understand irony, which I thought was funny, because we were stood at a bus stop at the time.

Dennis: Ladies and Gentlemen it is time for The Battleground Match! We will start with two competitors and another entrant will join the action every five minutes from the start, until all eight competitors have entered the cage. The eliminations will happen by a competitor being eliminated by a ten count, or if they submit. Now lets get on with this!

Dennis: the first competitor, ALLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAANNNN FFFFFFEEEEEERRRRNNNNAAAANNNNDDDDEEEEEZZZZZ!!!!

Vinegar: 'The Talk of the Town' enters first after his partner in Freak Show Central bought him this shot.

Lieberjosch: Thanks for reminding me, earlier I said all of the competitors had fought hard to make it this far, Fernandez has not. He's had to rely on a friend to buy him in, if he were a member of the human resource department you'd be throwing a hissy fit over how unjust it is.

Vinegar: That's exactly what the purse system is meant for, it's not against the rules and it's certainly not as backhanded as Jet's 'gift' to Pierce. The HRD do nothing with any honour.

Lieberjosch: And freak Show Central do? Was it not Alan awaiting Jet at the top of the ramp at the end of Synergy last week, waiting to slam Somers with that Mallet of Doom?

Vinegar: He and Jet have a score to settle, and if I'm honest honour won't help any of the participants tonight, I don't know what will.

Dennis: And the second competitor....GGGGGGGAAAAAABBBBBBRRRRRIIIIIIIEEEEELLLLEEEEE!!!!

Vinegar: Gabby and Alan both having an enormous task ahead of them if they wish to exit the XL Centre as the 2011 Battleground Winner. Only Donovan Hastings has ever entered as one of the first two and gone on to win, and he only had another three competitors to defeat in the smallest Battleground Match of all time.

Lieberjosch: Are you trying to demean the Lords triumph of 2009?

Vinegar: of course not, just stating how much more challenging it is for Fernandez and Gabrielle this year.

Lieberjosch: It's challenging for everyone, they'll be up to eight people beating the hell out of one another in there in half an hour or so, and a hell of a lot of weapons.

Vinegar: Gabrielle has faced Travis Roberts in the most violent one on one match in GIW's history, but that might not even prepare her for what we're about to see. Dare I say a Tokyo Deathmatch no matter what name it's given has nothing on this spectacle.

Lieberjosch: Gabby climbing into the ring, and she and Fernandez exchange a nod of respect. What an empty gesture from those two, in a few seconds time they will be attempting to force the others flesh into barbed wire. At least go in with the right mindset from the start, you have to fight to survive, not for respect, or your doomed to failure.

Vinegar: I disagree, both individuals are aware of what they are entering together, what they will force the other to endure to get the win, and neither harbours any major hatred towards the other. That was just an acknowledgement between warriors, that they know what is to come is justified and honourable.

[Lord Hastings]

Vinegar: Sam Green locks the door to the cell for the next five minutes, and now it begins.

Lieberjosch: Fernandez drags Gabrielle to the floor...SILENCE IS GOLDEN!

Vinegar: With his first move of the match Alan Fernandez has locked that crossface on Gabrielle right in the middle of the ring, she has nowhere to run to.

Lieberjosch: This could well be the quickest elimination we've ever seen in Battleground history, Fernandez leaning back and exerting pressure, and this is a great strategy. Most people start swinging wildly, exerting a lot of effort in many muscles, wearing themselves down as they look to knock their opponent out. Many of them forget you can make your opponent tap out, and most lack the technique to do so without applying a lot of damage.

Vinegar: Are you paying 'The Talk of the Town' a compliment, even two, about his strategy and technique.

Lieberjosch: I'm not a hypocrite like yourself Vinegar, I can recognise smart working when I see it, and this is very smart. Look at Gabby refusing to tap for now, but the energy is already draining from her, now look at Fernandez, whilst he is clearly putting a great deal of effort in, who is this draining more?

Covert Jay: And even if Gabby gets out of this, he's buying himself time until The Crimson Ghost comes in, the usual initial five minutes of torture will be avoided and he'll be in a better position than most come the third entrant.

Lieberjosch: And he could make it one on one if Gabby taps, and she's looking in increasing pain, despite her struggles...

Vinegar: Which are becoming visibly weaker...less power behind each attempt to escape, each time diminishing energy in her strategy.

Lieberjosch: And now none at all...GABBY'S BODY IS LIMP!

Vinegar: Fernandez refusing to let go...so Glenn Burke grabs her hand...

Lieberjosch: And it drops once!

Covert Jay: Twice!

Vinegar: Three times! But there is a long way to the ten needed!

Lieberjosch: Four! She's out cold, this ahs been pure inspiration from Fernandez, despite his usual mental inadequacies this is a master class. Six!

Covert jay: Seve...

Vinegar: NO! Gabby seems to have been playing possum all this time, she chooses her moment, and she grabs Burke by the skull as her arm drops, and she slams it into Fernandez's face with a sickening crack, and Fernandez rolls limply off of Gabby, who staggers to her feet, and leans against the ropes. Remember there are no DQ's in this match, I guess the referee's can be used as weapons.

Lieberjosch: 'The Talk' got complacent, and now he and Glenn Burke are out cold, that sort of impact could cause a nasty concussion, and this match has turned on it's head, through an act of sheer desperation within the first five minutes.

Peterson: FOUR!

Vinegar: Owen Peterson left to make the count, and Gabby still just slumps on the ropes, probably hoping she's done enough, as there is less than a minute before the Crimson Ghost makes his way into this structure, Sam green already egtting the keys ready.

Peterson: Seven!

Lieberjosch: But it's not enough, Fernandez comes to and starts to drag himself towards the ropes, and uses them to drag himself towards his feet, shaking his head as he does so, stumbling to a knee in the process...

Vinegar: The question is, do either of them make the move on the other right now, or each conserve their energy until The Ghost comes in...

Fans: FIVE

Lieberjosch: Neither looks in any rush to attack the other, which could be a mistake, they've both already shown just one move could end it for the other.

Fans: FOUR

Vinegar: It's amazing to think that each of them have only really made one move of any substance in this match.

Fans: THREE

Covert Jay: Not when you consider the limited move vocabulary of this writer.

Fans: TWO

Vinegar: Both trying to get to their feet in a ready position, keeping half an eye on one another and half on the ramp.

Fans: ONE!

Vinegar: Ghost runs down the ramp and through the cell door and he slides into the ring, quickly jumping to his feet in the middle...

Lieberjosch: Gabby and Fernandez on either side of him, and he jumps on the spot turning to face one then the other in succession...

Vinegar: And then he just stops, motions to both the calm down and then looks straight upwards...

Lieberjosch: THE LIGHTS GO OUT!

Covert Jay: No look, there is a single spotlight on Ghost!

Lieberjosch: Well that's really dumb if it's his idea, I thought maybe he had an advantage in the dark, now he's the only target.

Vinegar: What's that?

Lieberjosch: A target? Damn Vinegar you can be dumb as shi...

Vinegar: No, look up their floating down in the light...

Covert Jay: is it a bird?

Vinegar: I can't make it out...wait, is it?

Lieberjosch: A hat?

Vinegar: A white Fedora if we are to be precise, has just floated through the cage roof, and landed softly on Ghosts head, he reaches up, adjusts it... the lights hit...

Vinegar: And Gabby and Alan both join in, all three doing The jackson!

Covert Jay: Ooooooh! That is so Ninja!

Lieberjosch: What the hell is going on, this is a wrestling show, not a 'America's Got Talent'! This is not wrestling.

Vinegar: No, but it is entertaining. Isn't that something Robert Ooley and the HRD put a heavy sense of importance on.

Lieberjosch: in context Vinegar. This is the Battleground match, your meant to go forward focused and determined to win, not just with the intention of making a funny!

Vinegar: Surely this is another great time wasting technique? If your opponents are dancing with you, they're not fighting you.

Lieberjosch: He's also letting them recover from their earlier exertions. In many ways Ghost is lucky he entered so low, Could you imagine Prince Rudo taking part in such an humiliating exercise.

Covert Jay: He was the King of Pop.

Lieberjosch: The Crimson Ghost wasn't though, I can't believe we're seeing thi...THANK THE LORD!

Vinegar: All three individuals were enjoyign themselves, when Ghost just turned and hit Gabrielle with a spinning kick to the head out of nowhere, and then turns towards Fernandez who's slightly taken aback by what just happened, and clearly, for a split second, forgot he was in the BG Cell and not a Discotheque....

Covert Jay: Discotheque? Exactly how old are you?

Vinegar:...and just as he remembers he feels the full force of Ghosts forearm slam into his forehead and send him over the ropes to the the outside.

Lieberjosch: ghost turning towards Gabrielle who has got back to her feet and he runs at he, slipping under her legs on his back...

Covert Jay: That's a Ninja smile under that mask, I guarantee it.

Lieberjosch:...Springs to his feet, onto the second rope, and then hits a tornado DDT to Gabrielle.

Fans: FIVE

Vinegar: That's the countdown for the Cyclone warning, JK to become the youngest ever entrant in Battleground history.

Fans:FOUR

Lieberjosch: Ghost looking to go after the downed Gabby, but Fernandez grabs his legs from underneath him from the outside, and sends Ghost slamming face first into the canvas, he then drags him out and CATAPULTS HIM FACE FIRST INTO THE BARBED WIRE CELL SIDE!

Fans: THREE

Vinegar: Gabby on her knee's taking a moment...

Fans: TWO

Vinegar: Ghost clutching at his face, his mask doing little to protect him from the sharp steel.

Fans: ONE!

Vinegar: And Fernandez is the first to venture underneath the ring.

Covert Jay: And JK speeding to the ring.

Vinegar: he looks like he has soemthing to prove, he believes he is no longer the naïve young boy everyone thinks he is. He's out to show, once and for all that he is ready for ANYTHING that is thrown at him..

Lieberjosch: EXCEPT A BARBED WIRE COVERED CRICKET BAT!

Vinegar: As JK runs through the cell door, as soon as it slams behind him, Fernandez leaps from under the tring clutching the bat, and just places it in front of JK's on rushing skull, and The Cyclones momentum does the rest of the work.

Covert Jay: Cricket sucks.

Lieberjosch: Yet Australians love it, and I can only assume that cricket bat was one of JK's intended weapons. Oh the irony.

Vinegar: gabby and Ghost back on their feet, and Ghost decides the ring is a safer option than meeting the steel again sooner than is neccassary, and they lock up, Gabby though getting the advantage as she struggles and claws her nails into one of Ghosts open wounds on his arm. He screams in pain as he stumbles backwards, and Gabby catches him with a high kick, sending him down, before she then walks over him....

Covert Jay:: Only for Fernandez to take her out from behind with that Cricket bat across the back of her once perfect legs. Now they could be scarred as the babred wire rips into her skin and tears...

Lieberjosch: Fernandez showing a side to him I didn't think he had the strength for, and he raises that cricket bat up...

Vinegar: but JK has got to his feet after that initial bad start, climbed to the top rope and caught Fernandez with a cylconerana, saving Gabby, and causing Fernadnez to fling the bat outside of the ring before his head slams into the ground. Gabby gets to one knee, and smiles at JK...

Covert Jay: And he returns the affection...

Lieberjosch: And then, as one, they pounce on one another, highlighting how there can never be an alliance inside that structure...

Vinegar: Really?

Lieberjosch: Unless you're the HRD of course.

Vinegar: Of course! JK and Gabrielle now rolling on the floor, and trust me this is not a sexual fumble, both slamming their fists into each other, Gabby opening the wounds that have opened on JK's face after that barbed wire croquet bat to the head.

Lieberjosch: it was a Cricket bat.

Vinegar: Cricket...Croquet? What's the difference.

Lieberjosch: You are so uncouth!

Vinegar: Ghost sees Fernandez on all fours as he himself gets to his feet, and he instinctively runs and punts 'The Talk' in the midsection before quickly sliding out of the ring, and he reaches unde rit, not taking his eyes of his surroundings, looking for a weapon.

Lieberjosch: he's found one...it's a small rectangular object...and he presses it....and a Hologram of Bob Hope is revealed.

Bob Hope: A Dog is for life not just for Christmas...so be careful at the next office Christmas Party.

Lieberjosch: Ghost getting distracted by the clever wit of Bob Hope, although I'm pretty sure that's not his lines, but it nevertheless allows Alan Fernandez to get to his feet, and he dives through the ropes at ghost....

Vinegar: but Ghost is ready, he can enjoy his comedy and pay attention and he steps to theside and grabs Fernandez helping his face directly into that barbed wire...

Bob Hope: I'd rather see a pregnant woman standing on a bus...than a fat girl crying.

Vinegar: Ghost has another chuckle at another bit of wit as he follows up Alan's face plant, by driving his foot into the back of 'The Talk's head into the cell wall once more.

Lieberjosch: In the ring JK has just got the advantage over Gabby with a Russian leg Sweep, and he climbs to the top rope again, and hit's a SHOOTING STAR PRESS!

Bob Hope: A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said, 'Could you spare a few minutes for cancer research?' I said, 'All right, but we won't get much done.'

Covert Jay: Why's Bob hope in the ring...

Lieberjosch: Because crimson ghost is, and he moonwalks behind JK, before hurling him across the ring with a German Suplex.

Bob Hope: I'm not saying Michael Jackson was guilty...but if I was a billionaire paedophile, I'd buy a funfair for my back garden.

Vinegar: OK, this is definitive NOT bob Hope's words, rest his soul.

Covert Jay: According to my Ninjoogle they're a British comedian called Jimmy Carr's.

Fans: FIVE

Vinegar: Fernandez back to his feet, and he slides in the ring, just as Gabby gets to her feet...

Fans: FOUR

Lieberjosch: Ghost see's and darts over....

Fans: THREE!

Vinegar: Both turn towards Gabrielle...

Fans: TWO

Lieberjosch: Fernandez grabs Gabby, and whips her towards Ghost...SPEARFISH!

Fans: ONE!

Vinegar: That's an FSC move, and Ghost just knew what to do....maybe he's a Freak like them.

Lieberjosch: Prince Rudo the first person showing sense and he's in no rush to get into the ring, taking his time to walk down the ramp, slowly taking his long coat and folding it...

Vinegar: Whilst in the ring, JK has got back to his feet and locked up with Crimson Ghost, managing to whip him into a turnbuckle and then he follows him in slamming him with an elbow before dropping to the outside.

Bob Hope: My mum told me the best time to ask my dad for anything was during hug. Not the best advice I'd ever been given. I burst in through the bedroom door saying, 'Can I have a new bike?'...he was very upset...his secretary was surprisingly nice about it....I got the bike.

Lieberjosch: Fernandez now gets distracted by Bob Hope, and in return Gabby lunges her arm up between his legs sending him doubling over...GaBUSTER!

Vinegar: And now finally, Prince Rudo makes his way though the cell door.

[Lord Hastings]

Lieberjosch: And as Rudo steps through the cell door, as soon as it shuts behind him JK emerges from under the ring with a 2X4 which he swings, but Rudo, who has entered calmly and in a measured manner just ducks, and as the wood slams into the cell, he turns and hits JK with a Stun Gun, before dusting himself off and climbing onto the ring ropes...

Vinegar: Ghost however has spotted the Prince and he charges towards him before he cans tep into the ring...

Lieberjosch: But Rudo is like a mirage of calm in this ever descending cell of crazy, and he just drops, pulling the top rope down and The Crimson Ghost goes head over heels over the lowered rope, to the outside, and crashing into a rising JK as he does.

Vinegar: Now Rudo climbs into the ring, and Gabby turns to face him, she goes to lock up, but once more Rudo sidesteps the wild attempt, and whips her to the ropes, where she stays

Covert Jay: Fernandez from behind...

Lieberjosch: But yet again Rudo is one step ahead, and he ducks the clothesline attempt from behind and as Alan passes him, he grabs him and tosses him out of the ring...he then turns and runs at Gabby who is still on the ropes...SHINING PRINCE

Vinegar: And Gabby goes out, and lands on top of Fernandez...

Lieberjosch: And Prince Rudo hasn't even broken a sweat, as the whole world goes to hell, it'll be the man with the calmest head that will profit.

Vinegar: It's an impressive entrance, but lets not forget how this match has ignited in the last ten minutes or so, his opponents are not as refreshed as him...

Lieberjosch: Which he knew as he entered. Crimson Ghost wasted his advantage with a Chorus Line, and JK just ran in like a headless chicken. Only Rudo has shown any sense in the matter, and it's not like the condition of those already in the ring was a secret he cunningly discovered.

Vinegar: it even gives him a moment to survey the damage he has inflicted and choose his next best path, looking towards Gabby and Fernandez, the two competitors who have been in the longest.

Lieberjosch: Good idea, thin out the herd a little whilst he has the chance.

Vinegar: But before he can, the Prince gets a proper welcome to proceeding as as JK slides back in with that 2X4 and slams it across the back of Rudo's head. He falls to the floor, but JK doesn't have time to take advantage as Crimson Ghost is back in the ring and he nails the youngster from down under with a rising knee, and JK falls to his knee's...and...

Lieberjosch: GHOST MOUNTS HIM?

Vinegar: CG just jumped on JK's back, and is now forcing him to give him a 'horse-y' ride, with a riding crop he clearly found underneath the ring...

Covert Jay: This is why I love this man.

Vinegar: And now he's having to ride the equivalent of a human bucking bronco as JK tires of the games and begins to attempt to throw Ghost off of his back...

Lieberjosch: But is saved any further humiliation as Rudo has come around, picked up the 2X4 and slammed it into Ghost's chest sending him flying off JK and onto his back groaning.

Vinegar: but before The Prince can turn his attentions to the man who slammed the wood into the back of his skull, he is once again taken from behind, as Gabrielle slides into the ring and executes an atomic drop..

Lieberjosch: Rudo hopping forward into a Pele Kick from JK...

Fans: FIVE

Vinegar: Fernandez has grabbed Gabby by the hair as from the other side of the ropes, and he drags her towards him...

Fans: FOUR

Vinegar: And then he drops off the ring, still holding her hair...

Fans: THREE

Covert Jay: Fernandez has ripped a huge chunk of hair from Gabby, she is left with a fist sized hairless patch on the left side of her head...

Fans: TWO

Lieberjosch: Vanity has no place inside the Battleground cell...

Fans: ONE

Lieberjosch: Gabby rolling on the canvas in pain, clutching at her head, as the music signals the entrance of the man who replaced her, for the better, in the HRD.

Vinegar: But where is he?

Lieberjosch: Probably taking his time getting to the ring.

Vinegar: Surely he needs to at least be on stage, otherwise what's the point in entry numbers?

Lieberjosch: I haven't read the official rulebook, but lets concentrate on those that are in the cell shall we.

Vinegar: Fair enough, and as you speak Rudo has got back to his feet and has tossed The Crimson Ghost over the top rope, and nearly into a cameraman, who despite his size is nimble enough on his feet to avoid being hit by the falling Jester and also manage to capture a glorious image of his chin smashing into the arena floor. And he's out...Peterson starting the count...

1!

Lieberjosch: Fernandez has crawled inside the ring, but he is spotted by JK before he can get to his feet and 'The Cyclone' jumps to the middle rope...FLYING DEBRIS!

2!

Vinegar: Still no sign of Jet Somers as Prince Rudo stands over Gabrielle as she drags herself to her feet using the ropes.

3!

Lieberjosch: Like a true gentleman he lets her stand before he turns her, and scoops her up...BANISHMENT.

4!

Covert Jay: That's my girl!

Vinegar: Before Rudo gets the chance to execute the move, whilst upside down Gabby manages to drive both her knee's into the side of Rudos..head?...and he releases the pump-handle lock, using super arm and leg strength she reaches down pushes up, and the locks her legs around Rudo's...head?...grabs the top rope, and uses a head?scissors to take him over the top rope...

5!

Vinegar: Gabby herself managing to land on the canvas outside...

Lieberjosch: SPEAR From JK through the ropes...and Gabby goes flying face first into the cell wall...

6!

Vinegar: Still no Jet, I can't imagine he's forfeited the match, but I have word he is not in the locker room and he is nowhere to be found? Can Jet Somers have missed his biggest match of the year?

Covert Jay: No.

Vinegar: Surely if he's not in the ring by the time Medos enters, he'll be disqualified.

Lieberjosch: There are no DQ's.

Covert Jay: He'll Show!

7!

Vinegar: Whilst Crimson Ghost lays motionless on the floor, just seconds from being the first person eliminated from 2011' Battleground match, Fernandez is getting to his feet as the only man left in the ring...

8!

Lieberjosch: Gabby, Rudo and JK are all struggling to their feet...but The Ghost is out!

Covert Jay: WAIT!

9!

Vinegar: Ghosts hand thrusts out, and he grasps hold of the barbed wire link cell wall...and uses it to drag himself to his feet!

Lieberjosch: That's impressive, if a little stupid...have you ever had a paper cut on your hand...that is going to hurt.

Vinegar: But Ghost has survived...

Lieberjosch: Don't speak so soon Rudo charges at him...

Vinegar: But Ghost, ducks, or collapses to the side and Rudo goes...face?...first into the wall.

Lieberjosch: Gabrielle going under the ring now, as JK climbs into it to face Alan Fernandez...

Vinegar: These guys have all been through hell already, and we still have two more competitors to show...

Covert Jay: And Jet Somers.

Vinegar: Gabrielle emerging from underneath the ring, as JK and Fernandez lock up.

Lieberjosch: The Crimson Ghost using the ring side to drag himself to his feet, as Rudo uncertainly gets to his own.

Vinegar: Fernandez throws JK to the ropes and hits a drop toe hold, and then transitions over...SILENCE IS GOLDEN!

Lieberjosch: JK refusing to tap, but he's got less chance than Gabby had at the beginning of the match, he's been through some severe action so far tonight...

Vinegar: He won't have to, because inexplicably Gabby breaks the hold by smashing a rock over the top of Fernandez's head, and he just slumps to the ground...

Lieberjosch: It may have seemed strange that Gabby would break up the chance to eliminate one of her opponents, but in doing so she has knocked another out cold. And given her current hair state it's not surprising she wants a piece of Fernandez, he may well have ruled her out of many a modelling gig. Now Glenn Burke starts the count.

1!

Vinegar: JK makes his way to his feet, and nods to Gabrielle in appreciation...

Covert Jay: EYE OF THE STORM

2!

Vinegar: JK repays Gabby's save by sending her to the floor herself!

3!

Lieberjosch: Gabby though still has just enough about her to roll out of the ring, just as Crimson Ghost drags himself into it.

4!

Vinegar: Ghost is in pretty bad shape, all the competitors have drawn some blood, but Ghost is bleeding profusely...his hands have taken the brunt of it, the barbed wire slicing into them as he pulled himself up earlier.

5!

Lieberjosch: Fernandez manages to stop the count as he climbs to his feet before dropping back to one knee...

Vinegar: But Ghost put's him back down....

Fans: FIVE!

Covert Jay: SHHHHIIIIINNNNNNNIIIIINNNNG WWWIIIIIIIIIZZZZAAAAARRRDDD!!!!

Fans: FOUR!

Vinegar: no sooner did Fernandez recover from the rock blow is he put back down by Ghost. And Burke restarts his count.

1!

Fans: THREE!

Lieberjosch: Rudo back in the ring now and takes Ghost out with a reverse DDT, and then turns towards JK and hip tosses him to the ground.

2!

Fans: TWO!

Vinegar: Rudo spots gabby getting to her feet on the outside...SUICIDE DIVE!

Lieberjosch: He connects!

3!

Fans: ONE!

Covert Jay: Here comes The British Lionheart!

4!

Vinegar: Medos making his way down to the ring after a very impressive win last week on Synergy, could this be the day the perpetual bridesmaid becomes the Bride.

Lieberjosch: We're getting to the meaty end of this match, and I have to say I'm surprised we haven't seen an elimination yet.

5!

Vinegar: Fernandez isn't far from it, and as Medos enters the cage we have six competitors in the ring, and when Pierce arrives in five minutes, if 'The Talk' can get to his feet, and no-one else is eliminated we will see the most people inside The Battleground Cell in history.

6!

Lieberjosch: Five minutes is a long time in the state these guys are in. Right now Rudo and Gabby are both slowly getting to their feet on the outside, and the same can be said of The Cyclone and CG inside the ring...

7!

Covert Jay: And Alan starts to push himself up with his hands, if he can get to his feet he will end the count.

8!

Lieberjosch: And as Medos surveys the carnage that lies before him, Fernandez does indeed get to his feet.

Vinegar: Medos would be forgiven for being a little overwhelmed by what lies before him, but he can't afford to take to long to adjust to the situation, as Rudo has turned his attentions to the newcomer and he starts to walk around the ring towards him.

Covert Jay: Medos though welcoming the challenge, and stands his ground staring down the Prince as he approaches...

Lieberjosch: Only for JK to launch himself out of the ring, and take Medos to the floor with a flying shoulder-block...which probably took more out of him than it did Medos...

Vinegar: But Rudo now has the advantage as Medos clambers to his feet...

Covert Jay: TANABATA!

Lieberjosch: The Prince taken down, and Medos slides into the ring where Fernandez and Ghost are brawling in one corner...

Vinegar: Gabby has been under the ring again and she climbs back in, dragging a large tree branch, complete with leaves behind her...

Lieberjosch: Medos raising an eyebrow as that is clearly a heavy branch to wield in the best of condition...which Gabby is not in, she attempts to drag it upwards...but as she does so reality sets in and her strength leaves her, forcing her to fall backwards and drop the branch heavuily on the floor in front of Medos mid swing...

Covert Jay: Medos can't help but laugh...

Vinegar: THAT HOWEVER IS NO LAUGHING MATTER!

Covert Jay: FLYING SQUIRREL!

Vinegar: The impact has shaken a Squirrel that had apparently been resting inside the foliage, and it leaps from the branch, and attaches himself to Medos' face, sinking it's teeth into his nose in panic...

Lieberjosch: Medos flailing around in shock, but JK comes to his rescue, dislodging the Squirrel with a strong clothesline to Medos...

Vinegar: The Squirrel scurries out of the ring as Medos falls to the floor grabbing his bitten and scratched face.

Lieberjosch: Rudo sliding back into the ring as Alan Fernandez whips The Crimson Ghost with force into the opposite turnbuckle next to the Prince...

BOOM!

Covert Jay: C4 IN THE TURNBUCKLES!

Vinegar: Another additional twist to this match, and the explosion sends CG hurtling through the air, colliding with JK, and the force of the explosion sends Rudo staggering backwards, and he trips over Medos' body...this is just insane!

Vinegar: Fernandez and Gabrielle now the only two firmly on their feet, the two that started this, and now they just descend into brawling, each of them exchanging rights and lefts, as the rest of the field come to terms with the surprising inclusion of C4 to events.

Fans: FIVE!

Vinegar: Crimson ghost has rolled out of the ring in pure agony, you can see the blast has had it's effects on him, and he's suffering now as he crawls along the outside of the ring.

Fans: FOUR!

Lieberjosch: Prince Rudo gets to his feet t the same time as Medos, but The British Lionheart has the advantage of being the fresher man, despite the possibility of a rebies infection, and he places Rudo in a headlock, turns to the ropes springboards off the middle rope, and slams Rudo';'s head down onto that oversized branch with a Bulldog...

Fans: THREE!

Vinegar: And the branch splinters, driving a length of wood through the left arm of Rudo who shrieks in very human pain!

Fans: TWO

Lieberjosch: but with inhuman emotion, he just tears the shattered shard from his arm as he takes a moment on the floor, as Medos immediately turns his attentions to the still brawling Gabby and Fernandez.

Fans: ONE

Vinegar: Travis Pierce appears on the top of the stage, and spreads his arms wide as the fans great him with boos as he makes his way to the ring cockily, smiling and waving to the crowd, looking more confident than anyman should be walking into this living hell...especially given his ally Jet Somers has decided to no-show.

Lieberjosch: Sam Green unlocks the cell door, and Travis Pierce enters the structure.

Vinegar: And we now have the largest Battleground Match in history. No more entrances, and Sam Green locks the cell door for the final time tonight.

[Lord Hastings]

Covert Jay: WELCOME TO BATTLEGROUND!

Vinegar: DOUBLE D DDT FROM CRIMSON GHOST!

Lieberjosch: Ghost pounced upon Pierce as soon as he got in the ring, and he stands and throws a salute to Gabby who just ducked underneath a Medos clothesline, causing the British Lionheart to slam into the back of Fernandez and both men fall over the ropes to the outside.

Vinegar: Ghost slumping against the ring himself...how he has managed to continue this far is beyond my contemplation, he's been sliced open, dropped on his head and exploded...yet he still manages to keep going.

Lieberjosch: pierce now scrambling away around the ring to a quieter section...but Gabby is not letting him get away that easily...but she neglects to keep her eye on Prince Rudo...RUDO AWAKENING!

Vinegar: Giving Pierce the chance to crawl underneath the ring...

Covert Jay: Despite his injuries Ghost pushes himself away from the ring and stands on two feet...

Vinegar: THE SOUTHPAW INTO THE CELL!!!

Lieberjosch: Medos taking Ghost and executing his finisher in the most devastating fashion and Ghost lies face first on the floor, and Peterson is there to make the count.

1!

Vinegar: Meanwhile Pierce is dragging something very large from underneath the ring...

2!

Lieberjosch: Rudo picking Gabby up and placing her on the top turnbuckle...

3!

Covert Jay: It's a HUGE box...with some very complicated carvings on it's jet black exterior...

4!

Vinegar: GREAT TERRIBLE EY...

5!

Vinegar: GABBY ESCAPES CERTAIN LIGHTS OUT!

6!

Lieberjosch: She manages to break the hold and send {Prince Rudo flying onto his back, as she tumbles onto the canvas herself.

7!

Vinegar: Medos and Fernandez both now battling with one another, as Travis smiles and takes a key out of his pocket with a sick smile on his mouth...

8!

Covert Jay: But it doesn't fit the padlock, and Pierce rolls his eyes before going back under the ring.

9!

Vinegar: And retrieving a heavy statuette, which he slams against the padlock, smashing it open.

10!!!

ELIMINATED: The Crimson Ghost.

Lieberjosch: Ghost is eliminated and Paramedics that are on standby, and despite Vinegars assertions to the contrary not long ago, the cell door is unlocked again...

Vinegar: And Pierce stands over the box with a sick smile...

Covert Jay: The lid opens...and a hand thrusts out and wraps around Pierces' neck!

Vinegar: And out climbs YMIR

Covert Jay: Ahhhhh! The carvings are Rudo's seal, it's HIS box!

Vinegar: The giant Ymir lifts Pierce clean off his feet, turns and slams into the barbed wire, and doesn't let go, instead he drags his back from side to side across the cell wall. Gabby smiling as she gets to her feet in the ring, Rudo slipping out of the ring and going towards his box and opens the lid even more so...

Lieberjosch: Sebastian and Sir Roland are revealed...

Covert Jay: I bet the match writer is thrilled at having another three bodies to keep track of.

Vinegar: Rudo ordering Ymir to toss Travis into the ring, to the awaiting Gabrielle, whose mouth hasn't stopped smiling during the unfolding of these events, and he then points his three charges towards Fernandez and Medos who are exchanging chops...

Lieberjosch: And the two of them are taken by surprise by these three new entrants, Sir Roland using his speed to climb the turnbuckle and attack from the air with a Dragon Wing to Fernandez, as Medos is whipped by Sebastian into the waiting arms of Ymir, who wraps his arms around the British Lionheart and executes a Triple Headbut.

Vinegar: In the ring Gabby has thrown Pierce head first into the turnbuckle, and takes great joy in dragging her nails down his back which has been cut to ribbons by the barbed wire, and as he screams her smile gets even bigger.

Lieberjosch: And Prince Rudo has taken a small vacuum flask from the box, closed it, and is now enjoying a refreshing tea as he watches his Circle of Influence tear into Medos and Fernandez, whilst thumbing through a copy of War and Peace which he spotted underneath the ring...Ymir picks them both up...one in each hand, clutching them round the throats...and he slams them both down onto the arena floor with horrendous force.

Vinegar: Glenn Burke and Owen Peterson have no choice but to start the count simultaneously.

1!

Covert Jay: it strikes me that we have lost track of 'The Cyclone' ever since he was knocked over by Rudo during the C4 blast...

2!

Vinegar: He's just emerged from underneath the ring...

3!

Covert Jay: it's as if someone lost track of all the people inside the cage, and conveniently allowed JK to get some rest underneath the ring...

4!

Vinegar: He heads into the ring with a long length of tire chain...slides into the ring, and slams it across the back of Travis Pierce, whom Gabrielle has kept in the corner conveniently...

5!

Lieberjosch: But as he winds up for a second, as he lashes out Pierce finally moves, and the tire chain wraps itself around the rope...

6!

Lieberjosch:...and gives Pierce the chance to hit Gabby in the midsection with an elbow, and then throw JK over the top rope...

7!

Vinegar: Straight into an unsuspecting Rudo, who's tea is spilt...

8!

Lieberjosch: Rudo whistles, and his three stooges turn and make their way across to the slowly recovering JK as Rudo steps backwards....

9!

Vinegar: In the ring Pierce turns back to Gabrielle...THE TRUTH HURTS!!!

10!!!

ELIMINATED: Alan Fernandez & Medos.

Vinegar: I think they may have to review the rules on weapons, as I'm not sure other people should be allowed, Medos and Fernandez were not eliminated by actual competitors.

Lieberjosch: It was ultimately a very smart move by Rudo, and it looks like JK is about to be their next victim...

Vinegar: In the ring Pierce calls Glenn Burke's attention to Gabrielle who is sprawled out...and Burke starts another count.

1!

Covert Jay: Pierce now sliding out the ring and underneath once more.

2!

Lieberjosch: JK attempting to fight off The Circle of Influence...nailing Sebastian with a desperate superkick which sends him sprawling backwards onto the floor, taking Sir Roland down with him, much to the disappointment of Prince Rudo who still watches on...

3!

Vinegar: but Ymir keeps coming, and JK is staring at a mountain of a man, and manages to slip beneath his legs, and hits another Superkick as Ymir turns...but it hardly sends the giant one step backwards...

4!

Vinegar: JK now leaping and slamming an elbow into Ymir's face, but he merely smiles as JK literally bounces off of him.

5!

Covert Jay: Pierce emerges again, behind the action with another box, this one relatively smaller than Rudo's huge three man contraption.

6!

Vinegar: Gabby gets to one knee...

7!

Vinegar: And she stops the count, as Pierce unlocks the box with the key...

Covert Jay: And the lid springs open...

Lieberjosch: To Reveal JET SOMERS! HE WAS IN THE CELL FROM THE START!

Vinegar: Hiding...

Lieberjosch: Not his fault no-one looked hard enough...Pierce did say Jet was his weapon, and thats where they are kept!

Vinegar: Rudo hasn't noticed this turn of events, and has told Sebastian and Sir Roland to stand back and let Ymir despatch of JK...

Lieberjosch: just as Jet Somers stands in his box and nods to Pierce, who pulls a lever...

Covert Jay: AND JET FLIES TOWARDS THE CIRCLE!

Vinegar: using some kind of spring loaded release mechanism Jet Somers is launched into the air, and he is not empty handed...he hurls a huge Drum into Prince Rudo's...head?...sending him crashing into the cell wall, he then mid arch pulls a sword from his back and with two quick moves, slices both Sebastian and Sir Roland's masks right down the middle causing them both the clutch onto them inf ear of exposing their true selves to the world...

Lieberjosch: And finally in his free hand he holds a huge cast iron shot, which he slams into the Giant Ymir's face, and follows through with the crunching blow, driving Ymir's face between the cell wall and the shot...

Covert Jay: And the mix of momentum, power and the sheer size of Ymir causes the cell wall to tear open and Ymir lands on a bed of barbed wire right outside our desk!

Vinegar: Rudo is left aghast on his knee's as Jet Somers climbs to his feet and he and Travis Pierce exchange cheesy military salutes...and Sebastian and Sir Rolan scurry out of the cage holding their masks....

Covert Jay: DOUBLE WHAMMY!

Vinegar: The Human Resource Departments celebrations are cut short, as they are slammed from behind, gabby levelling Somers with that Barbed Wire Cricket Bat to the back of his head, and JK sending Pierce to the ground with the 2X4!

Lieberjosch: Now they both turn their attentions to Price Rudo, closing in from either side, and he quickly launches himself under the ring...frantically scrambling for something...

Vinegar: They get within feet of him as he spins on his knee's...

Covert Jay: FIRE[/i]

Lieberjosch: Rudo gets his hands on a cannister of hairspray with a lighter attached and sends a long blast of flame outwards, turning and aiming it at both his oncoming opponents faces...

Vinegar: Both of them fall to the floor clutching their faces...

Lieberjosch: Rudo climbs to his feet, and then bends over Gabby, who has huddled on her side clutching her face with her arm, trying to protect it....and he aims a jet of flame directly at her...

Vinegar: Rudo continuously spraying her arm, her hair singing and smoking, the left side of her hair will be noticeably shorter after this, as or her arm...the skin maybe bubbling...

Lieberjosch: At least her face is OK...

Vinegar: For how long...

Covert Jay: UNLIKELY SAVIOUR!

Vinegar: Pierce runs, screaming with the statuette above his head...and slams it down over the back of Rudo's...head?

Pierce: SHE STILL WANTS ME!!![/b]

Lieberjosch: this match has descended into an animalistic fight for survival, all the competitors having to tap into parts of their nature they probably didn't know existed.

Vinegar: jet recovered from the cricket bat shot, and rummaged under the ring, ans as Prince Rudo slumps to the floor, he slams a Cattle Prod into the side of Rudo electrocuting him, and forcing Owen Peterson to begin a count...

1!

Vinegar: JK however has climbed to his feet and he sees Pierce facing away from him, the hairspray cannister lying at his feet next to the copy of War and Peace... he picks both up...and combines the too!

2!

Covert Jay: FIREBALL![/i]

3!

Vinegar: He throws the flaming novel directly into the heavily bleeding back of Travis Pierce. And Jet now turns his attentions to JK, running past his HRD partner who falls to his knee's in agony, and turning JK inside out with a strong clothesline...

4!

Lieberjosch: WHAT KINF OF THANKS IS THAT! After being saved from having to allow her face to succumb to some hefty fire damage by Pierce and Somers, Gabby staggers to her feet and once again slams Somers around the back of his already bleeding head with the cricket bat once more, sending him falling forward again...

5!

Vinegar: but as she turns to face Pierce he is ready, and slams her in the midsection with the still smouldering War and Piece, shrieking as it burns into his hands, and she doubles over, falling to her knees...

6!

Lieberjosch: Rudo now getting to his feet...

Vinegar: As he does so, JK gets to his own, and he reaches up grabbing the length of chain, and takes the cannister and heats the chain up..., and he wraps it around his hands and lunges at Pierce...landing on top of him and forcing the chain across Pierce's throat...

Covert Jay: Jet gets to his feet, and turns to help Pierce, but is obstructed as Rudo slams his foot into Jet's midsection and throws him against the ring post...

Vinegar: And Pierce's eyes roll into the back of his head and JK climbs off him...smiling towards Gabby as he does so...and Glenn Burke begins the count on the choked out Travis, who now fashions a chain branding across his throat...

1!

Lieberjosch: Jet sees that Rudo has stopped him from saving his newest ally and his eyes narrow and he charges into Rudo, throwing him down onto the cell wall that lies outside of the ring...

2!

Vinegar: both men now rolling around on the abrbed wire, trying to pulverise each other, but shredding many parts of their bodies as they do so.

3!

Covert Jay: Meanwhile JK and Gabby seem to have called a brief truce, and just watched as they recover some energy...JK still clutching the chain...

4!

Vinegar: The blood pouring freely onto the arena floor as Rudo and Jet Somers continue to battle despite the obvious pain they are going through.

5!

Covert Jay: Gabby and JK share a brief joke at the expense of their competitors, who seem oblivious to their current state of rest.

6!

Vinegar: Pierce looks no closer to recovering from JK's scarring attack.

7!

Lieberjosch: Jet and Rudo finally both realise they are helping their other opponents out by solely focusing on one another, and both break, and turn to face Gabby and JK!

8!

Covert Jay: gabby slips into the ring, and JK begins backing off, one hand wrapped around the chain as he swings it readying himself...

9!

Lieberjosch: Rudo locks eyes on Gabby and goes towards the ring, as Jet licks his lips and grins as he turns and walks towards JK.

10!

ELIMINATED: Travis Pierce

[Lord Hastings]

Vinegar: Whilst the medics get to Travis Pierce, Jet steps around his fallen comrade as he fixes his eyes on JK, still grinning, he reaches down as he turns the corner of the ring and collects something...

Covert Jay: JK swings wildly from distance, and hit's Jet's chest, but Somers despite staggering keeps coming...

Vinegar: JK now swings again, with even more force aiming at Jet's head...

Lieberjosch: But Jet ducks, and JK misses!

Vinegar: The chain wraps around the cell wall...

Lieberjosch: AND JET HAS THE CATTLE PROD!!![/b]

Vinegar: HE SLAMS IT INTO THE CELL WALL! ELECTROCUTING THE CYCLONE!!!LOOK AT JET'S EYES, HE'S SNAPPED![/b]

Covert Jay: JK shaking violently as he falls to his knee's...

Vinegar: Jet finally relenting, and JK slumps to the floor...Glenn burke calls to a paramedic to immediately check on JK...

Covert jay: That wasn't nice, but he is still breathing...

Vinegar: But I think the paramedic is telling Burke JK needs immediate attention, who knows what waiting could do to damage him, that kind of shock can cause serious problems....

Covert Jay: Burke Calls it.

ELIMINATED: 'The Cyclone' JK

Vinegar: Both Rudo and Gabby were shocked at the display, but Rudo is the quicker to react...swinging...but Gabby ducks...

Covert Jay: Kick to the midsection...

Vinegar: DOUBLE D DD...

Lieberjosch: NO! POSTCARD FROM OBLIVION![/i]!

Vinegar: GABBY IS DOWN!

Lieberjosch: but Jet is in...he springboards....JETSTREAMER!!!

Vinegar: Rudo is down! Burke and Peterson both start sepearte counts simultaneously once more....

1!





2!










3!









4!










5!








Vinegar: Jet Somers already celebrating, his arms outstretched.


6!














7!

Lieberjosch: jet Somers has won Battleground 2011! What an achievement Ole' Bob will be delight...HOW IN THE NAME!!!

Vinegar: Gabby on one knee!













8!

Vinegar: Rudo now gets to one knee!













9!

Covert Jay: SHE'S UP![/b]













Vinegar: But Rudo can't get back up!

10!

ELIMINATED: Prince Rudo.

Vinegar: She should not have, but Gabrielle has made it back onto her feet, beating the count whilst Prince Rudo just couldn't make it any further, he was so close to getting to his feet, but he didn't have that last ounce of energy.

Lieberjosch: How is this possible! Gabrielle has been burnt, scarred, she has been losing blood for a long time now, she shouldn't be able to get back to her feet.

Vinegar: Jet Somers looks just as shocked as you do...he thought he had this in the bag...now he has to put her down again...and he's so chocked he allows Gabby to charge at him, taking them both back out of the ring...

Lieberjosch: And She manages to land on top of Somers, and she grabs the closest thign to her, which happens to be a biottle of water...and just starts slamming it into his head...

Vinegar: She has nothing to lose now, and is going to exert every last drop trying to make Jet Somers stay down, but it may not be enough as her flips her off, and into the cell wall...

Lieberjosch: now jet gets to his feet, and he turns Gabby onto her front...

Vinegar: HE DROPKICKS HER FACE INTO THE CELL WALL!!![/i]

Covert Jay: THAT BEAUTIFUL NOSE!!![/i]

Lieberjosch: the impact sends one of the barbs to splits the tip of Gabby's nose right now the middle... her natural beauty will now require some work to hide the scars of this battle...

Vinegar: Jet now takes a few step backs then charges, aiming his knee into the back of Gabby';s head...

Covert jay: SHE MOVES!

Lieberjosch: jet slamming into the cell wall with force...

Vinegar: And now it is Jet who is forced to consider surgery as the wire slices through his right earlobe...

Covert Jay: It's all right, he was ugly already.

Vinegar: gabby now crawling under the ring, and she drags a bag out...

”FINALLY MA NEGRESS!!!”

Vinegar: Jet gets to his feet and turns, to be greeted by a torrent of beanbag rounds form Boss P who has just been released from his sack with his modified AK47!

Lieberjosch: That can't be legal, weapons shouldn't have their own weapons!

Vinegar: Boss P spraying Jet with those rounds from head to toe, forcing him back onto the cell wall, each impacting sandwiching his body between the round and the razor sharp barbed wire.

Covert Jay: And then one shot manages to hit Jet straight in the temple as he turns his head...and he crumples to the floor....

Vinegar: And Burke starts the count.

1!









2!









3!









4!

Vinegar: Gabby leans down and gives Boss P a huge kiss on the cheek...and the little Penguin just reels over and passes out, overcome by the moment!






5!










6!









7!

Lieberjosch: HIS HAND!








8!

Vinegar: Jet dragging himself up the cell wall, but he has to be able to support himself independently for more than a brief moment to stop the count.








9!

Vinegar: He lets go of the cell wall, he hands pouring with blood...but falls forwards...








Lieberjosch: NO HE RIGHTS HIMSELF!!!

Vinegar: Gabby however has not been celebrating in this time, she has been under the ring and brought out a hybrid of the US and The British flag, and has wrapped it around the barbed wire cricket bat.

Covert Jay: And she sets it alight using the cannister of hairspray...

Vinegar: And Jet, as quickly as he can, exits the cell through the huge hole he created what feels like ages ago...

Lieberjosch: This is the woman you both support? A flag burner?!?

Covert Jay: It's not a real flag, it's a mutant hybrid. An abomination.

Vinegar: Gabby pursuing Jet outside...

Covert Jay: he can't run forever, Gabby will catch up with him, with her firey sword of winning!

Lieberjosch: What is he thinking!

Vinegar: Jet looks at Gabby as she approaches, and then to the Cell wall, and he turns, and unfathomable he begins to climbs the cage, the barbed wire tearing itno his fingers and legs as he does so...

Lieberjosch: Dear god, he really wants to win this match doesn't he...

Vinegar: They're both so close right now to a legendary win, one that no-one will ever forget, in what has been possibly the most physically demanding Battleground match to date. Not a single person has tapped out, that in itself tells you all you need to know. Both of them have battled through more people than any other previous winner, and thats why jet has climbed onto the top of the cell, because he wants it that badly.

Covert Jay: Gabby looking at the Bat...and she throws it up after Jet, but it misses....bounces.....

Lieberjosch: JESUS TITTYFUCKING CHRIST!!! I'M ON FIRE!!!!

Vinegar: Oh please, it landed next to you, not on you!

Lieberjosch: My suit is singed, that happens to constitute being on fire.

Covert Jay: gabby edging her way to the top of the cell, where Jet stands unsteadily...

Vinegar: As she reaches over with one hand, jet slams his foot down on it, but Gabby refuses to let go, and swings her other arm round, reaching for his leg, pressing her entire chest into those barbed razors...and she grabs him and trips him backwards, as she drags herself bleeding over the top rope.

Lieberjosch: She will have a few scars, but only one story to tell about them.

Covert Jay: But it will be an epic one, at least the writer probably hopes it is.

Vinegar: both Jet and Gabby now getting to their feet, twenty feet above the arena floor, and this can only end badly.

Covert Jay: We all know how this ends, the only variable is who goes splat!

Lieberjosch: Both demonstrating the roof is not the ideal place to combat one another, each swing destabilizes the thrower, and resorts to the two of them resembling drunk hobo's fighting over a chicken carcass...which clearly gives Gabby the advantage if you can learn fighting styles through sexual transmission.

Vinegar: Despite the less than elegant style, each is laying punch after punch on the other, but it is Gabrielle who stumbles first, and she drops to one knee, and Jet slams his own into her face, causing her to fall backwards...

Lieberjosch: he rolls her onto her front, places his feet under her armpits...JETHAMMER!!

Vinegar: Reaching back with Gabby in a hammerlock position he bridges in this tough submission move...made even more painful by the barbed wire cell roof.

Covert Jay: Who barbs a roof?

Lieberjosch: However long ago this match started, Gabby was stretched within breaking point, there is no way she can survive this.

Vinegar: She is refusing to quit, she will not give in and no matter how hard Jet strains her mouth is clenched shut...and Jet releases the lock...

Covert jay: Her blood is dripping onto the ring below!

Vinegar: She grasps at the cell roof, attempting to get up...but the barbed wire tears into her hands, and she keeps slumping forward....

Lieberjosch: Jet gets to his feet, and drags Gabby's limp body up...

Vinegar: In desperation she sidesteps...

Covert Jay: MAGUS!!!![/i]

Vinegar: FACE FIRST INTO THE BARBED WIRE!!![/i]

Lieberjosch: Where did she get the strength?

Vinegar: Both Gabby and Jet sprawled out on the roof, and now it's almost raining blood into the ring below...

CREAK[/b]

Covert Jay: What was that!

Vinegar: AUNT MAE'S SWEET, SWEET SMELLING LINGERIE DRAW!!![/i]

Lieberjosch: THE ROOF GIVES IN!!![/i]

Vinegar: THEY BOTH LAND FACE FIRST ON THE RING![/i]

Covert Jay: Peterson and Burke begin to count together again....

1!









2!

Lieberjosch: I'm not sure I can take in what just happened, they must both be dead...how are they breathing![/b]









3!

Vinegar: How can anyone get up from this, but both are trying but cannot get the strength in their arms to haul themselves up...but they will not stop!










4!

Covert Jay: Whoever wins this will be remembered forever. Like a Ninja.












5!

Lieberjosch: JETS ON ONE KNEE!!!









6!

Vinegar: SO IS GABBY!!!!














7!

Vinegar; Despite everything that makes these two different, they share one thing, they are both UGWC Entertainment Professionals, and they are a special breed.











8!

Vinegar: Both trying to get to their feet, but keep falling back to one knee....but eventually they get up but not steadily enough to stop the count stumbling from side to side...








9!

Vinegar: GABBY SWINGS![/i]

Lieberjosch: JET SWINGS![/i]























Covert Jay: BOTH MISS AND FALL ON THEIR FACES!!![/i]

10!!!

Vinegar: What jst happened, who won?

Lieberjosch: Jet hit the canvas last, so I think technically he is the winner.

Covert Jay: That's not how it works...

Vinegar: Glenn Burke and Owen Peterson is frantic discussion in the middle of the ring, EMT's surrounding it waiting to see if they can enter...is this one over? What's going on!

DING!

Lieberjosch: They've come to a decision!

Dennis: Ladies and Gentlemen, The Battlegorund Match 2011...is a draw....therefore here are your CO-WINNERS....JJJJJEEEETTTTT SOOOOOOOOMMMEEEERRRSSS & GGGGGAAAAABBBBRRRRRIIIIIEEEELLLLEEEE!!!

Vinegar: Tonight has been historic in so many ways, for the first time ever we have joint winners of the Battleground Match, and in honesty I think it's a fair result, we couldn't have had this match continue any further!

Lieberjosch: Burke and Peterson raise the hands of the winners as they are rolled onto stretchers...I'm not sure either are aware of where they are anymore.

Vinegar: What does this mean for Horizons, can either of these two even make it back in time for Horizons. It has been one hell of a night, and we hope you all respect the effort these Entertainers have put in tonight, the arena are, to a man, on their feet giving both competitors a standing ovation as they are wheeled up the ramp. Thanks for sticking with us tonight, don't forget to log in and find out more about the aftermath of this monumental evening. Goodnight!

Jet Somers & Gabrielle: 23 Each
Prince Rudo: 21
'The Cyclone' JK: 19
Travis Pierce: 18
Medos: 11
Alan Fernandez: 9
Crimson Ghost: 1

[Lord Hastings]

Credits

Opener
Hastings

Cooperative Championship
Hastings

Chaos Championship
Hiro

World Championship
A-Kis

Battleground Match
T-Rob

[The Crimson Ghost!]

Very sorry on the lateness, guys, always fun when the laptop has to be restarted mid-match.

-----------------------------------------


Moved it into the show - Steve

[Red Bull Icon]

awesome show. Battleground was a real highlight, had me guessing, and didn't even think a tie was a possiblity.

Plus I always like it when AKis writes my match.

[The Crimson Ghost!]

This was a crazy card, and brutally awesome.

[Jet Somers]

fucking amazing. i wouldn't have had the result any other way. DJS, congrats dude, and to everyone else, helluva job.

fucking wow.

[Jet Somers]

And happy birthday to me :-)