Post by brandonbrown on Jul 25, 2009 22:06:35 GMT -5
(The scene opens in Miami, Florida. The site is a nice beach house. Well, it was nice. A man with a ski mask is seen throwing a Molotov cocktail through the windows. Screams are heard from the house as the house starts burning. The house burns right to the ground. You should have been there because it actually looked pretty cool. But yeah the house burned to the ground.)
David Caruso: What happened here, Frank?
Cop: My name isn’t Frank and why are you here?
David Caruso: This is a crime scene and I’m with CSI.
Cop: You celebrities are all crazy. You do know that you are David Caruso?
David Caruso: No, I’m Horatio Caine. Now, tell me what happened.
Cop: It looks like somebody burned this house to the ground. There were two people inside and they both died.
David Caruso: Who were they?
Cop: They were recently married and they were on their honeymoon. Their names were Kyla and Jacque-Pierre.
David Caruso: I guess that sounds like (Puts on Sunglasses.) a hot date.
YEEEEEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Back in California, we are at that place the Browns stay at. A familiar face walks through the door. If this was a TV sitcom, the audience would be going crazy. Brandon is walking through the door by the way.)
Brandon: I’m home. That short vacation was fun. Where’s the fat guy that takes care of my home?
(Big B walks in and we hear the roar from the studio audience.)
Big B: How was your trip?
Brandon: It was great. It really took off some stress. Especially after getting pinned again by Prescott last week. I’ll get him back in this cage match. I’ll get Hastings too.
Big B: You got a good partner to help you this week in A-Kis.
Brandon: Fuck him. Where was that lazy bum to stop Prescott from pinning me last week? He better just stay out of my way when I kick Prescott’s ass.
Big B: You know I beat Hastings a few weeks ago. Some might call this the Year of the Fat Man.
Brandon: Would you shut up about your fat man shit? That’ll probably be the only match you’ll win all year. As a matter of fact, It’s probably the only match that you will wrestle this year.
Big B: That’s a not true. I was promised a title match next week.
Brandon: No, you weren’t.
Big B: How do you know?
Brandon: Nobody would give you a title match.
Big B: This was the best week of my life until you came back.
Brandon: Because that guy you worship is in the White House now.
Big B: I haven’t cried that much in years. The power is now in the hands of the black man. He is going to change the world.
Brandon: I always thought if they did Wonkavision would change the world. You remember that. Willy Wonka could transport his chocolate through the TV. Why haven’t they invented that yet?
Big B: We get off focus really easily around here.
Brandon: It’s probably because we have too many pop culture references. But I will win that cage match.
Big B: You do know both men have to escape.
Brandon: One of those. Damn. Well, I’ll probably be first out of the cage since I’m that awesome.
Big B: Wouldn’t that leave you partner to get beat up?
Brandon: He can deal.
Big B: You were all serious last week. What happened?
Brandon: Well, I looked at myself in the mirror and I asked myself a question. Why so serious?
Big B: Seriously. A Dark Knight reference. That’s freakin’ sweet.
Brandon: I thought you would like that.
(Big B and Brandon stand around for a couple of minutes.)
Big B: I’m bored.
Brandon: Yeah, we ran out of things to talk about. That usually doesn’t happen.
(A knock on the door is heard.)
Big B: Thank God, hopefully this will lead to something exciting.
(Big B opens the door and there is a policeman standing there.)
Policeman: Which one of you is Brandon Brown?
Brandon: The big, black guy.
Policeman: Good House reference.
Big B: Yeah, that one was just on this week.
Policeman: Seriously though. Brandon Brown, you are under arrest for the murder of Kyla and Jacque-Pierre.
Big B: Just when I think I’m bored, something always comes up and makes things exciting again.
(The police send Brandon to Miami to be interrogated. They also sent Big B because he might also have information. Brandon is now in the interrogation room.)
Brandon: I’m surprised they flew us out here. I wonder what kind of person is going to do this interrogation.
(David Caruso walks in.)
Brandon: You’ve got to be kidding me. David Caruso. You aren’t a real CSI guy.
David Caruso: Why does everybody keep calling me that? My name is Horatio Caine.
Brandon: Good lord. What kind of drugs are you celebrities taking?
David Caruso: Drugs are bad for you.
Brandon: I’ll play along. What do want to know?
David Caruso: I want to know why you were in Miami earlier in the week.
Brandon: I was there for the Celtics/Heat NBA game. I wanted to see my team beat the defending champs. It’s a shame they didn’t.
David Caruso: My records show that you are a Bulls fan.
Brandon: Damn, where did you get those?
David Caruso: It’s none of your business. So what is the real reason that you were in Miami?
Brandon: Why don’t you stand still and look into my eyes while I’m talking?
David Caruso: I ask the questions around here. Why were you in Miami?
Brandon: Did I say Miami Heat? I meant that I went to see the Florida Panthers NHL team play.
David Caruso: You are an Anaheim Ducks fan and they weren’t in town. Tell me. Did you know the victims?
Brandon: I may have dated one of them.
David Caruso: Which one?
Brandon: The girl.
David Caruso: Just making sure. How long did you date?
Brandon: A few years. Shouldn’t you know this? You know already know my favorite hockey team.
David Caruso: I was testing you. Did you really love this girl?
Brandon: I did.
David Caruso: That’s why you came to see her.
Brandon: Yeah, that’s why I came to see her. Damn, I meant that’s why I wanted to see that Heat game.
David Caruso: We already know you were there.
Brandon: You people must like giving others a hard time
David Caruso: We do. What did you do while you were there?
Brandon: Well, I made sure to go while Jacque wasn’t there. I knocked on the door and asked if I could talk to her. She reluctantly agreed.
(It’s flashback time to when Brandon was talking to Kyla.)
Kyla: Brandon, I’m on my honeymoon. What are you doing here?
Brandon: Honeymoon. I didn’t even know you were married. I wasn’t invited. My brother was invited but I wasn’t.
Kyla: Your brother told you I got married.
Brandon: Yeah, he called me right up and told me. Bros before Hoes. I would have come to your wedding.
Kyla: After my sister’s wedding, I never wanted you at a wedding again. You have made my life a living hell.
Brandon: I don’t see anything on fire.
Kyla: You sent morons looking for treasure to my house numerous times.
Brandon: You have to admit that was funny. Plus, he stopped bothering me during that time.
Kyla: Brandon, I’m over this. I want you out of this house. I never want to see you again.
Brandon: You’re kicking me out that easily. Okay. I really did used to love you. I guess that’s over now. Where is your husband anyway?
Kyla: He is out getting some food.
Brandon: I hope he doesn’t bake because of this heat.
Kyla: Goodbye, Brandon.
Brandon: Goodbye, Kyla. I’ll never see that pretty face of yours again.
(Brandon walks out of the house and he walks into his rented car. He turns on the radio.)
Brandon: There better be something good on.
(Guns N Roses “Used to Love Her” starts to play.)
I used to love her
But I had to kill her
I used to love her, Mm, yeah
But I had to kill her
I had to put her six feet under
And I can still hear her complain
(Flashback ends and we are back to Brandon and Caruso.)
Brandon: I probably shouldn’t have told you half of that. It kind of makes me look like the killer. At this point where do you see this heading for me?
David Caruso: (Puts on sunglasses.) Jail.
(The scene changes to Big B in the interrogation room.)
David Caruso: Has Brandon done anything weird lately. Has there been an outburst of violence?
Big B: We’re wrestlers. Everything we do is violent. It’s our job. Brandon even has a cage match this week.
David Caruso: So nothing about him has seemed weird.
Big B: He did seem pretty happy when he got home. He had been kind of angry. I thought that was sort of weird. Did you ever see that Two and a Half Men episode where they had to do this? I like that episode.
David Caruso: Don’t change the subject. Why do you think he was happy?
Big B: I figured it was because he had just came back from vacation. Everybody is happy when they are on vacation.
David Caruso: (Puts on Sunglasses.) Not the victims.
(Brandon is back in the interrogation room.)
David Caruso: Why were you so happy when you got home?
Brandon: Don’t tell Big B this but I won 10,000 dollars o a lottery ticket. I didn’t want him to try and take some of my money.
David Caruso: That is why you were happy?
Brandon: Yeah, I thought I was having a good day until the cops showed up. I didn’t kill anybody.
David Caruso: You are the top suspect though. You have the motive.
Brandon: I wouldn’t kill her though. I have thought about killing Jacque but I wouldn’t hurt Kyla again.
(That one cop from the beginning walks in.)
Cop: I have some info. David Caruso? Don’t tell me you still think you are Horatio Caine.?
David Caruso: I’m Horatio Caine.
Cop: Fine. Anyways, we have video evidence that shows Brandon at the airport at the same time the video from the murders took place.
Brandon: You guys have a video of the murder?
Cop: Yes.
Brandon: Can I see it?
Cop: Sure.
(The cop gets the video so Brandon can see it.)
Cop: I’ll just hit play.
(The video starts. You can see the man in the ski mask throwing the Molotov cocktails through the windows. The man then runs away.)
Brandon: Huh.
David Caruso: Did you see anything?
Brandon: No. I saw nothing.
David Caruso: Thanks for your cooperation.
(A doctor runs into the room.)
Doctor: David, we’ve been looking all over for you. You got hit in the head with that ball and lost your memory. Do you remember?
David Caruso: I’m Horatio Caine.
(Brandon and Big B are now back in California.)
Brandon: Big B, I got to tell you something.
Big B: What?
Brandon: During the interrogation, they showed me the video of it happening. I saw the person and everything.
Big B: And.
Brandon: I know who did it.
(End Scene.)
David Caruso: What happened here, Frank?
Cop: My name isn’t Frank and why are you here?
David Caruso: This is a crime scene and I’m with CSI.
Cop: You celebrities are all crazy. You do know that you are David Caruso?
David Caruso: No, I’m Horatio Caine. Now, tell me what happened.
Cop: It looks like somebody burned this house to the ground. There were two people inside and they both died.
David Caruso: Who were they?
Cop: They were recently married and they were on their honeymoon. Their names were Kyla and Jacque-Pierre.
David Caruso: I guess that sounds like (Puts on Sunglasses.) a hot date.
YEEEEEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Back in California, we are at that place the Browns stay at. A familiar face walks through the door. If this was a TV sitcom, the audience would be going crazy. Brandon is walking through the door by the way.)
Brandon: I’m home. That short vacation was fun. Where’s the fat guy that takes care of my home?
(Big B walks in and we hear the roar from the studio audience.)
Big B: How was your trip?
Brandon: It was great. It really took off some stress. Especially after getting pinned again by Prescott last week. I’ll get him back in this cage match. I’ll get Hastings too.
Big B: You got a good partner to help you this week in A-Kis.
Brandon: Fuck him. Where was that lazy bum to stop Prescott from pinning me last week? He better just stay out of my way when I kick Prescott’s ass.
Big B: You know I beat Hastings a few weeks ago. Some might call this the Year of the Fat Man.
Brandon: Would you shut up about your fat man shit? That’ll probably be the only match you’ll win all year. As a matter of fact, It’s probably the only match that you will wrestle this year.
Big B: That’s a not true. I was promised a title match next week.
Brandon: No, you weren’t.
Big B: How do you know?
Brandon: Nobody would give you a title match.
Big B: This was the best week of my life until you came back.
Brandon: Because that guy you worship is in the White House now.
Big B: I haven’t cried that much in years. The power is now in the hands of the black man. He is going to change the world.
Brandon: I always thought if they did Wonkavision would change the world. You remember that. Willy Wonka could transport his chocolate through the TV. Why haven’t they invented that yet?
Big B: We get off focus really easily around here.
Brandon: It’s probably because we have too many pop culture references. But I will win that cage match.
Big B: You do know both men have to escape.
Brandon: One of those. Damn. Well, I’ll probably be first out of the cage since I’m that awesome.
Big B: Wouldn’t that leave you partner to get beat up?
Brandon: He can deal.
Big B: You were all serious last week. What happened?
Brandon: Well, I looked at myself in the mirror and I asked myself a question. Why so serious?
Big B: Seriously. A Dark Knight reference. That’s freakin’ sweet.
Brandon: I thought you would like that.
(Big B and Brandon stand around for a couple of minutes.)
Big B: I’m bored.
Brandon: Yeah, we ran out of things to talk about. That usually doesn’t happen.
(A knock on the door is heard.)
Big B: Thank God, hopefully this will lead to something exciting.
(Big B opens the door and there is a policeman standing there.)
Policeman: Which one of you is Brandon Brown?
Brandon: The big, black guy.
Policeman: Good House reference.
Big B: Yeah, that one was just on this week.
Policeman: Seriously though. Brandon Brown, you are under arrest for the murder of Kyla and Jacque-Pierre.
Big B: Just when I think I’m bored, something always comes up and makes things exciting again.
(The police send Brandon to Miami to be interrogated. They also sent Big B because he might also have information. Brandon is now in the interrogation room.)
Brandon: I’m surprised they flew us out here. I wonder what kind of person is going to do this interrogation.
(David Caruso walks in.)
Brandon: You’ve got to be kidding me. David Caruso. You aren’t a real CSI guy.
David Caruso: Why does everybody keep calling me that? My name is Horatio Caine.
Brandon: Good lord. What kind of drugs are you celebrities taking?
David Caruso: Drugs are bad for you.
Brandon: I’ll play along. What do want to know?
David Caruso: I want to know why you were in Miami earlier in the week.
Brandon: I was there for the Celtics/Heat NBA game. I wanted to see my team beat the defending champs. It’s a shame they didn’t.
David Caruso: My records show that you are a Bulls fan.
Brandon: Damn, where did you get those?
David Caruso: It’s none of your business. So what is the real reason that you were in Miami?
Brandon: Why don’t you stand still and look into my eyes while I’m talking?
David Caruso: I ask the questions around here. Why were you in Miami?
Brandon: Did I say Miami Heat? I meant that I went to see the Florida Panthers NHL team play.
David Caruso: You are an Anaheim Ducks fan and they weren’t in town. Tell me. Did you know the victims?
Brandon: I may have dated one of them.
David Caruso: Which one?
Brandon: The girl.
David Caruso: Just making sure. How long did you date?
Brandon: A few years. Shouldn’t you know this? You know already know my favorite hockey team.
David Caruso: I was testing you. Did you really love this girl?
Brandon: I did.
David Caruso: That’s why you came to see her.
Brandon: Yeah, that’s why I came to see her. Damn, I meant that’s why I wanted to see that Heat game.
David Caruso: We already know you were there.
Brandon: You people must like giving others a hard time
David Caruso: We do. What did you do while you were there?
Brandon: Well, I made sure to go while Jacque wasn’t there. I knocked on the door and asked if I could talk to her. She reluctantly agreed.
(It’s flashback time to when Brandon was talking to Kyla.)
Kyla: Brandon, I’m on my honeymoon. What are you doing here?
Brandon: Honeymoon. I didn’t even know you were married. I wasn’t invited. My brother was invited but I wasn’t.
Kyla: Your brother told you I got married.
Brandon: Yeah, he called me right up and told me. Bros before Hoes. I would have come to your wedding.
Kyla: After my sister’s wedding, I never wanted you at a wedding again. You have made my life a living hell.
Brandon: I don’t see anything on fire.
Kyla: You sent morons looking for treasure to my house numerous times.
Brandon: You have to admit that was funny. Plus, he stopped bothering me during that time.
Kyla: Brandon, I’m over this. I want you out of this house. I never want to see you again.
Brandon: You’re kicking me out that easily. Okay. I really did used to love you. I guess that’s over now. Where is your husband anyway?
Kyla: He is out getting some food.
Brandon: I hope he doesn’t bake because of this heat.
Kyla: Goodbye, Brandon.
Brandon: Goodbye, Kyla. I’ll never see that pretty face of yours again.
(Brandon walks out of the house and he walks into his rented car. He turns on the radio.)
Brandon: There better be something good on.
(Guns N Roses “Used to Love Her” starts to play.)
I used to love her
But I had to kill her
I used to love her, Mm, yeah
But I had to kill her
I had to put her six feet under
And I can still hear her complain
(Flashback ends and we are back to Brandon and Caruso.)
Brandon: I probably shouldn’t have told you half of that. It kind of makes me look like the killer. At this point where do you see this heading for me?
David Caruso: (Puts on sunglasses.) Jail.
(The scene changes to Big B in the interrogation room.)
David Caruso: Has Brandon done anything weird lately. Has there been an outburst of violence?
Big B: We’re wrestlers. Everything we do is violent. It’s our job. Brandon even has a cage match this week.
David Caruso: So nothing about him has seemed weird.
Big B: He did seem pretty happy when he got home. He had been kind of angry. I thought that was sort of weird. Did you ever see that Two and a Half Men episode where they had to do this? I like that episode.
David Caruso: Don’t change the subject. Why do you think he was happy?
Big B: I figured it was because he had just came back from vacation. Everybody is happy when they are on vacation.
David Caruso: (Puts on Sunglasses.) Not the victims.
(Brandon is back in the interrogation room.)
David Caruso: Why were you so happy when you got home?
Brandon: Don’t tell Big B this but I won 10,000 dollars o a lottery ticket. I didn’t want him to try and take some of my money.
David Caruso: That is why you were happy?
Brandon: Yeah, I thought I was having a good day until the cops showed up. I didn’t kill anybody.
David Caruso: You are the top suspect though. You have the motive.
Brandon: I wouldn’t kill her though. I have thought about killing Jacque but I wouldn’t hurt Kyla again.
(That one cop from the beginning walks in.)
Cop: I have some info. David Caruso? Don’t tell me you still think you are Horatio Caine.?
David Caruso: I’m Horatio Caine.
Cop: Fine. Anyways, we have video evidence that shows Brandon at the airport at the same time the video from the murders took place.
Brandon: You guys have a video of the murder?
Cop: Yes.
Brandon: Can I see it?
Cop: Sure.
(The cop gets the video so Brandon can see it.)
Cop: I’ll just hit play.
(The video starts. You can see the man in the ski mask throwing the Molotov cocktails through the windows. The man then runs away.)
Brandon: Huh.
David Caruso: Did you see anything?
Brandon: No. I saw nothing.
David Caruso: Thanks for your cooperation.
(A doctor runs into the room.)
Doctor: David, we’ve been looking all over for you. You got hit in the head with that ball and lost your memory. Do you remember?
David Caruso: I’m Horatio Caine.
(Brandon and Big B are now back in California.)
Brandon: Big B, I got to tell you something.
Big B: What?
Brandon: During the interrogation, they showed me the video of it happening. I saw the person and everything.
Big B: And.
Brandon: I know who did it.
(End Scene.)