Post by brandonbrown on Jul 25, 2009 22:10:11 GMT -5
Last time on a Brandon Brown RP, Brandon took a trip to see Morgan Freeman. He wanted to see if Morgan Freeman could help him find the whereabouts of the mysterious killer. Luckily, Morgan Freeman had the technology that Brandon needed. By using the sonar stuff from The Dark Knight, they were able to track the killer to Brandon’s hometown of Albion. Brandon was also able to get a Tumbler from Morgan Freeman. Big B also was on the journey but nobody cares about him.
The following all took place a few hours after last week’s RP which means this is before last week’s Sentinel.
(The tumbler crosses the train tracks into Albion with Big B’s truck right behind. Big B and Brandon are communicating with something high-tech.)
Brandon: Why the fuck do they still have trains? Those went out of style in the 1800s.
Big B: Can we stop at the Dairy Queen?
Brandon: I’ve already passed the Dairy Queen so I’m not going back.
Big B: I’ve already stopped at the Dairy Queen so I didn’t care if you were coming or not.
Brandon: How is this going to help you lose weight?
Big B: I don’t know.
Brandon: You should probably go to the Subway instead.
Big B: Okay.
Brandon: Morgan Freeman, where is the killer?
Morgan Freeman: He appears to be in the school. It looks like he is the only one inside.
Brandon: That seems easy. I just hope the doors aren’t locked. Big B, did you find Subway?
Big B: Yeah. Good lord is this town small. It has a nice courthouse though.
Brandon: Yeah, the courthouse is pretty nice. Alright, I’m at the school. Morgan, can I get some information?
Morgan Freeman: I can’t be of any help to you anymore. I just got a phone call and they were offering a movie role.
Brandon: Screw it. Helping me is more important.
Morgan Freeman: You don’t turn down a Keanu Reeves movie.
Brandon: Jesus Christ. The guy has been nominated for Worst Actor of the Year more than once.
Morgan Freeman: Yes, but it makes my performance in the movie look even better. Besides, the pay for this movie is good.
Brandon: All you care about is the money. This town deserves a better class of black actors than you and Big B is going to give that to them. I can’t because I’m white. Are you sure you won’t help me?
Morgan Freeman: Didn’t you get the memo? (Cuts his transmission.)
Brandon: Damn Batman Begins lines. I guess I’ll have to find this guy myself.
(Brandon walks through the front doors.)
Brandon: I wonder what room he chose.
(Brandon checks all the rooms before he comes to the last one.)
Brandon: Of al the rooms he could have chose, why did he have to choose Mr. Sievers’ room. That old man still scares the shit out of me.
(Brandon opens the door to see a hooded figure.)
Brandon: What’s with the hood?
?: I saw you coming so I put it on.
Brandon: I already know who you are. There is no point of disguising yourself.
?: Then who am I?
Brandon: You are a murderer.
?: No, I mean what is my name. I already know that I’m a murderer.
Brandon: I just know what you look like. I have no fucking clue what your name is.
?: What do I look like then?
Brandon: You’re the fucking caveman guy I ran into one time. You got pissed because I was wearing a Geico shirt.
Caveman: I fucking hate Geico. They give us cavemen a bad name.
Brandon: So you killed my old girlfriend because I had a Geico shirt on.
Caveman: It was one of the many reasons. My name is Tommy Ugg.
Brandon: That’s a good caveman name.
Tommy Ugg: When I saw you with that Geico shirt, it made me so angry. I knew you were a wrestler. I thought I could be a wrestler and that one day I would get my revenge against you in the ring. Things didn’t work out for me. My career stalled. I worked the independents but I didn’t get anywhere. I tried to get a deal with GIW but they didn’t want a caveman. One day though, I finally got a good offer. I was going to go places. I was signed to the company. I was ready to debut. They closed the promotion. I had nothing. I invested everything into that company. That’s what really set me off. You ruined my life.
Brandon: It sounds to me like you fucked up your own life. This story has me intrigued though so keep going.
Tommy Ugg: I thought about how I could exact my revenge on you. I knew you had a girlfriend and that she would be in Florida. I followed you around to make sure what was happening. I watched you go into her place and have an argument. I then thought it would be a perfect idea to frame you. It almost worked too but I wasn’t thinking of all those cameras.
Brandon: You should have had a better insurance policy. I suggest Geico.
Tommy Ugg: I’ll kill you.
Brandon: I have a question. How did you know that I would find you here?
Tommy Ugg: I didn’t want you to find me. I did my research. I figured this would be the last place on earth that you would go.
Brandon: Mr. Sievers’ room. Yeah, it probably would have been the last place. So did they not notice you on school days?
Tommy Ugg: I hung around town.
Brandon: You would have to.
Tommy Ugg: Enough of the chat, I was prepared for your coming. It’s time for your death.
(Tommy Ugg pulls out a gun.)
Tommy Ugg: And now, young Skywalker, you will die.
Brandon: I never fought I would be killed after a guy told me a line from Return of the Jedi.
(The door busts open and a man shoots Tommy Ugg to his death.)
Man: Come with me, I have a proposition for you.
One week later
(Big B and Brandon are in Chicago)
Big B: How are you going to prepare for the Chief Nigga Tournament thing?
Brandon: I don’t know. I got seven people to worry about. I’ll kick all their teeth down their throats if I have to. There are actually way too many things on my mind to worry about this tournament.
Big B: You seemed fine last week during Sentinel.
Brandon: Yeah, but I was pondering a few things. I think I’m going to take some time off after this tournament. I got something I have to deal with. I will give it my all to win this tourney though. I really want to be the Chief Nigga. Does that sound weird to you?
Big B: I don’t know. It does sound a bit ridiculous.
Brandon: This is what happens with a Penguin runs the company. Boss P is a joke.
Big B: I love Boss P. The guy is hysterical.
Brandon: Whatever. I don’t care what his stupid tournament is called. He is lucky that I am a performer who goes out there and gives it his all night in and night out. I will win this tournament.
Big B: Now you are talking.
Brandon: I won’t be seeing red because of the Crimson Ghost. The only thing I will be seeing is my foot kicking his face. Chassie Fear? Been there, done that. I mean I beat her in the ring. I’ll beat her again.
Big B: I knew what you meant.
Brandon: I’m sure. I think I will be having a lot fun in the ring Gabrielle though. You remember the move that Viscera would do to people. I’m going to do that to her.
Big B: I’d like to do that too.
Brandon: I’m not going to worry about Andy Savana and his mixed personalities. I can beat them all with every one of my finishers. I’ll even give Moss Edwards a good shot with his camera. He can record my foot hitting his face.
Big B: He’s bald.
Brandon: Reminds me of Lex Luthor. Hastings will get his ass kicked like usual. Everybody will kick his delusional ass. As for Alex Kiseragi, I’ll counter his kung fu with my awesome ninja jujitsu moves.
Big B: When did you learn that?
Brandon: Don’t ask any questions. I have to go into some deep thinking right now. Would you please let me be?
Big B: Okay.
(Big B leaves.)
Brandon: I have to make a phone call.
(Brandon gets out his cell and makes a call.)
Brandon: I’m calling to let you know that I will be there next week. I will join you.
(The End.)
The following all took place a few hours after last week’s RP which means this is before last week’s Sentinel.
(The tumbler crosses the train tracks into Albion with Big B’s truck right behind. Big B and Brandon are communicating with something high-tech.)
Brandon: Why the fuck do they still have trains? Those went out of style in the 1800s.
Big B: Can we stop at the Dairy Queen?
Brandon: I’ve already passed the Dairy Queen so I’m not going back.
Big B: I’ve already stopped at the Dairy Queen so I didn’t care if you were coming or not.
Brandon: How is this going to help you lose weight?
Big B: I don’t know.
Brandon: You should probably go to the Subway instead.
Big B: Okay.
Brandon: Morgan Freeman, where is the killer?
Morgan Freeman: He appears to be in the school. It looks like he is the only one inside.
Brandon: That seems easy. I just hope the doors aren’t locked. Big B, did you find Subway?
Big B: Yeah. Good lord is this town small. It has a nice courthouse though.
Brandon: Yeah, the courthouse is pretty nice. Alright, I’m at the school. Morgan, can I get some information?
Morgan Freeman: I can’t be of any help to you anymore. I just got a phone call and they were offering a movie role.
Brandon: Screw it. Helping me is more important.
Morgan Freeman: You don’t turn down a Keanu Reeves movie.
Brandon: Jesus Christ. The guy has been nominated for Worst Actor of the Year more than once.
Morgan Freeman: Yes, but it makes my performance in the movie look even better. Besides, the pay for this movie is good.
Brandon: All you care about is the money. This town deserves a better class of black actors than you and Big B is going to give that to them. I can’t because I’m white. Are you sure you won’t help me?
Morgan Freeman: Didn’t you get the memo? (Cuts his transmission.)
Brandon: Damn Batman Begins lines. I guess I’ll have to find this guy myself.
(Brandon walks through the front doors.)
Brandon: I wonder what room he chose.
(Brandon checks all the rooms before he comes to the last one.)
Brandon: Of al the rooms he could have chose, why did he have to choose Mr. Sievers’ room. That old man still scares the shit out of me.
(Brandon opens the door to see a hooded figure.)
Brandon: What’s with the hood?
?: I saw you coming so I put it on.
Brandon: I already know who you are. There is no point of disguising yourself.
?: Then who am I?
Brandon: You are a murderer.
?: No, I mean what is my name. I already know that I’m a murderer.
Brandon: I just know what you look like. I have no fucking clue what your name is.
?: What do I look like then?
Brandon: You’re the fucking caveman guy I ran into one time. You got pissed because I was wearing a Geico shirt.
Caveman: I fucking hate Geico. They give us cavemen a bad name.
Brandon: So you killed my old girlfriend because I had a Geico shirt on.
Caveman: It was one of the many reasons. My name is Tommy Ugg.
Brandon: That’s a good caveman name.
Tommy Ugg: When I saw you with that Geico shirt, it made me so angry. I knew you were a wrestler. I thought I could be a wrestler and that one day I would get my revenge against you in the ring. Things didn’t work out for me. My career stalled. I worked the independents but I didn’t get anywhere. I tried to get a deal with GIW but they didn’t want a caveman. One day though, I finally got a good offer. I was going to go places. I was signed to the company. I was ready to debut. They closed the promotion. I had nothing. I invested everything into that company. That’s what really set me off. You ruined my life.
Brandon: It sounds to me like you fucked up your own life. This story has me intrigued though so keep going.
Tommy Ugg: I thought about how I could exact my revenge on you. I knew you had a girlfriend and that she would be in Florida. I followed you around to make sure what was happening. I watched you go into her place and have an argument. I then thought it would be a perfect idea to frame you. It almost worked too but I wasn’t thinking of all those cameras.
Brandon: You should have had a better insurance policy. I suggest Geico.
Tommy Ugg: I’ll kill you.
Brandon: I have a question. How did you know that I would find you here?
Tommy Ugg: I didn’t want you to find me. I did my research. I figured this would be the last place on earth that you would go.
Brandon: Mr. Sievers’ room. Yeah, it probably would have been the last place. So did they not notice you on school days?
Tommy Ugg: I hung around town.
Brandon: You would have to.
Tommy Ugg: Enough of the chat, I was prepared for your coming. It’s time for your death.
(Tommy Ugg pulls out a gun.)
Tommy Ugg: And now, young Skywalker, you will die.
Brandon: I never fought I would be killed after a guy told me a line from Return of the Jedi.
(The door busts open and a man shoots Tommy Ugg to his death.)
Man: Come with me, I have a proposition for you.
One week later
(Big B and Brandon are in Chicago)
Big B: How are you going to prepare for the Chief Nigga Tournament thing?
Brandon: I don’t know. I got seven people to worry about. I’ll kick all their teeth down their throats if I have to. There are actually way too many things on my mind to worry about this tournament.
Big B: You seemed fine last week during Sentinel.
Brandon: Yeah, but I was pondering a few things. I think I’m going to take some time off after this tournament. I got something I have to deal with. I will give it my all to win this tourney though. I really want to be the Chief Nigga. Does that sound weird to you?
Big B: I don’t know. It does sound a bit ridiculous.
Brandon: This is what happens with a Penguin runs the company. Boss P is a joke.
Big B: I love Boss P. The guy is hysterical.
Brandon: Whatever. I don’t care what his stupid tournament is called. He is lucky that I am a performer who goes out there and gives it his all night in and night out. I will win this tournament.
Big B: Now you are talking.
Brandon: I won’t be seeing red because of the Crimson Ghost. The only thing I will be seeing is my foot kicking his face. Chassie Fear? Been there, done that. I mean I beat her in the ring. I’ll beat her again.
Big B: I knew what you meant.
Brandon: I’m sure. I think I will be having a lot fun in the ring Gabrielle though. You remember the move that Viscera would do to people. I’m going to do that to her.
Big B: I’d like to do that too.
Brandon: I’m not going to worry about Andy Savana and his mixed personalities. I can beat them all with every one of my finishers. I’ll even give Moss Edwards a good shot with his camera. He can record my foot hitting his face.
Big B: He’s bald.
Brandon: Reminds me of Lex Luthor. Hastings will get his ass kicked like usual. Everybody will kick his delusional ass. As for Alex Kiseragi, I’ll counter his kung fu with my awesome ninja jujitsu moves.
Big B: When did you learn that?
Brandon: Don’t ask any questions. I have to go into some deep thinking right now. Would you please let me be?
Big B: Okay.
(Big B leaves.)
Brandon: I have to make a phone call.
(Brandon gets out his cell and makes a call.)
Brandon: I’m calling to let you know that I will be there next week. I will join you.
(The End.)