Post by Red Bull Icon on Jul 26, 2009 0:09:46 GMT -5
(Our scene opens to the inside of a near deserted airport baggage claim. The conveyer belt is still and dead as we focus on Randy Boolzian opening the first Red Bull. A small family, mother, father, son, and daughter pass in front of our view distracting us momentarily. When we turn back to Randy he’s gone, and in his place now stands a lone middle aged Muslim woman. We search the area for the Red Bull Icon, and in doing so glance over the man in a driver’s uniform entering the building. A sudden hint of intoxicating citrus following the oh so familiar sound of a Red Bull popping open fills our nostrils and turns our head. Only an elderly couple now waiting patiently can be seen.
Before we know what is happening the quiet barren room has filled to capacity and borders on the verge on rupture. Long awaited families reunite before our eyes. Our heart is filled with the promises kept of lovers once again feeling the warm embrace of their mate. Our souls are emptied as the forgotten members of society quietly pick up their bags from the now roaring carousel quite alone and unneeded. We continue our search for RBI only to find a blonde woman with a firm and perky body in a locked eyes trance. We follow her gaze and are met with a single now empty can of Red Bull.
As we focus on the can it is clear we missed it again, and just as rapidly as the room filled it has emptied. Now however finally we can see Randy Boolzian. Resting against a support pillar, opening another can of Red Bull, and simply waiting we have found him. The shriek of a pair of sisters brought back together for a wedding pierces our ears, and he’s gone.
Hours pass, maybe, and another plane load of people arrive and depart. We find a few more cans of Red Bull. We find a discarded pair of women’s panties in the trash bin. What started as a small cluster has grown into an overwhelming mound of cigarette butts just outside the sliding glass doors.
The sudden insurgence of people into the plaza tells us yet another plane is arriving. We again watch as families bask in their love, we listen as visitors returning from foreign escapades begin to regale their friends, and feel the sorrow of the wasted potential simply grab their checked bags and leave unnoticed.
Then we see Grace Harding stepping from the terminal, and instantly her face glows brighter than a thousands stars. We follow her now pepped step as she quickly makes her way through the armada of families with nothing better to do than be in the way. We almost pass her as she stops at the side of Randy Boolzian. By now her face matches his, and they are both masks.)
Grace; “You… Missed… Me.”
Randy; “You missed me more. C’mon, I’ll grab your bags.”
(The two walk off, and are immediately lost in the crowd. It’s not until the room starts to clear do we find them again walking together, Randy towing a single overflowing luggage cart, and Grace rattling on about life on the set.
Then they both stop.)
Moss; “So ladies and gentlemen of the press, as much as I would love to sit and recap the exciting life the Auteur it would appear that my assistant has made what could be her first oversight in quite some time. I simply cannot afford the time it would take to properly convey the significance of my roll in this major motion picture. But let it not be said that Moss Edwards has let you down…”
Grace; “I had no idea.”
Randy; “You’re gonna need a spanking naughty girl.”
(The sight of Moss Edwards standing before a battalion of new reporters and television cameras in overwhelming. If only for the glare off of his bald head.)
Moss; “My astute assistant has taken great pains to arrange a substitute of almost equal magnitude for you all today. Ladies and gentlemen of the esteemed press, I’d like to introduce to you at this time Randy ‘BoolZ’ Boolzian.”
Grace; “Sorry Randy.”
Randy; “Prove it.”
(Moss steps from behind a small podium as the press core turns to great BoolZ. RBI has a very much ‘deer in the headlights’ look as Moss walks up, shakes his hand, takes the luggage cart, and leads Grace away from the Red Bull Icon. We follow the pair as Grace gives one last mournful look to the Red Bull Icon.
Back at the now press conference Randy takes the first pull from a fresh can of Red Bull, he lights a cigarette, and absorbs the barrage of questions. Without a word Randy finishes his now empty can of Red Bull, sets it to the side, and cracks open another without saying a word.)
Reporter; “If she sells sea shells by the sea shore, than what’s she doing with you?”
(Finally setting the half empty can of Red Bull on the podium Randy takes a drag of his cigarette, and gives way for BoolZ to respond.)
BoolZ; “Pickin’ peppers with Peter Piper. Now why don’t we try one at a time?”
Reporter; “How’s it feel to be in the states?”
BoolZ; “A hotel is a hotel. Wrestling here, Mexico, Japan, or anywhere it is what it is. No different.”
Reporter; “Why has the GIW been so reluctant to grant interviews with it’s roster?”
BoolZ; “Reluctant? I don’t think they’ve been reluctant. Hell Nikko’s been doing some pieces, and just this week Declan tried to be interviewed by the Global Impact Pla…”
Reporter; “Real press.”
BoolZ; “Oh. Well. C’mon guys it’s not like ya’ll were actually on our side when the feds booted us from the country.”
Reporter; “BoolZ, the GIW is back in America now. Has the GIW toned down it’s content?”
BoolZ; “No, I don’t think so.”
(BoolZ takes another pull from a Red Bull, drag from his cigarette, and awaits the next question.)
Reporter; “Then why did the government allow the GIW to return? Global Impact Wrestling must have watered down its product.”
BoolZ; “Honestly I think it’s more of a case of the tits that got us taken off the air being currently disfigured and in hiding. That and Pax tried taking the fight to someone he shouldn’t have, and got his ass torched. We didn’t tone down the product at all. It’s more a case of the troublemakers making to much trouble for their own good.”
Reporter; “Is that why so many members of the GIW roster are rumored to be in therapy?”
BoolZ; “What?”
Reporter; “I have a source inside a very prominent L.A. based Psychologist’s office who is ready to name some of her employers clients. You would have to admit that self destructive behavior is a pattern with the GIW. Declan Prescott is proof positive of that.”
BoolZ; “Declan Prescott is proof positive of a lot of thing. Being a money grubbing leach who only wants to latch onto someone else to get to the top not being the least of which. As for the rumors of GIW members seeing shrinks? Well I’ll believe it when I see it, but really is it that much of a stretch to imagine? I mean we’re grown men who dress up in tights, light each other on fire, throw each other off of buildings, and hit each other with cricket bats. We do all this to take a hold of a metal plate on a belt. Tights don’t even have belt loops.
If, and it’s a big if, that she’s talking about current roster members and now Marlo or Vanity ShowWood then I doubt it is the level of competition in the GIW that drove them to the shrinks office. I would rule out how frustrating it might be however to come across one more crazy talks to himself, forlorn lovers meant to be apart, or someone striving for happiness when they know true happiness would be the end of the road for them.”
*WHAT COULD BE BETTER THAN A SWAN DIVE… INTO THE ASPHALT…*
(‘Swan Dive’ by Hed PE continues as BoolZ’s ring tone. We watch him check his phone, the caller ID reads ‘Mary-Ho’, then he puts the phone back in his pocket as it continues to play.)
Reporter; “You aren’t going to answer it, or at least silence it?”
BoolZ; “Huh, oh, no, I just like the song. Where were we?”
Reporter; “BoolZ, speaking of psychiatrists, you have to recognize Donovan Hastings would have to be on that list. Can we get your thoughts on the Co-Undisputed Champion?”
BoolZ; “I actually try not to think about Hastings. And maybe that’s the problem. See for to long now people have just sat by and watched this mans slow slip into silliness. But seriously it’s just starting to piss me off now. Co-Undisputed champion? What the hell is that? Running around proclaiming himself as the Lord Chief Nigga, after losing the tournament. What the fuck over? See everyone’s just stood by and watched this man do what ever the hell he pleased with little rhyme or reason behind any of it.
Even his partner this week, the real, the only, Undisputed Champion hasn’t done anything about Donovan’s bull shit. But I will. This week I’m going to show to that loony tune to it takes more that intimidating referees, running around with card board cut outs, and playing with ‘one’ ball in his pocket to make it at my level. I don’t have someone he can beat up to make me quit, and this match will be decided by pin fall not by lighting a fart like Dredd on fire. Hastings is going to get in the ring with me, I’m going to drop him on his pointy little head, and just like Prescott is struggling through his DiscumBoolZalation so will Hastings. Who knows, maybe they’ll both come out better men because of it. Or share a padded cell.”
Reporter; “About your match this week. Donovan Hastings partner is none other than Travis Roberts. You have a storied past with the Headliner. What are you thoughts about facing him again this week?”
BoolZ; “I have no thoughts for him. Much like the rest of world I look at him as little more than then carrier of the Unified Global Title. He’s not a champion of any real regard, he just likes beating lined up weak challengers…”
Reporter; “Like you?”
BoolZ; “Well that would suggest MJ had something to do with his last few opponents, but that’s another tangent. But no, not like me. Listen since Infinity Roberts has defended his title against a man I beat first, a woman who could barely keep her life together, and a cartoon character. It’s strings like that that make you realize the Unified Global Title holder main events, not Travis Roberts. You take the belt out of the equation, and he’s just a gangly washed up hippy beating up women.”
Reporter; “So do you think last year was your year?”
BoolZ; “You know, that’s not the first time I’ve heard that, but if it was anyone’s year I would suggest it was the fans year. I mean they were able to watch the GIW step into world wide prominence as the place to go for hard hitting fast paced wrestling. We didn’t have midgets and clowns and… well we had a lot more than midgets and clowns anyway.”
Reporter; “What about your streak?”
BoolZ; “What about it?”
Reporter; “Well isn’t there a case for your streak making it your year?”
Reporter; “Yeah, until Travis ended it?”
BoolZ; “You know, streaks are streaks. Nothing more nothing less. As far as Travis is concerned, I’d remind people that if the streak was important then his name is on my list. For the first time at last years Toxic Intent.”
Reporter; “Yeah, but that match didn’t mean anything. It was important. It certainly wasn’t for the title.”
BoolZ; “Yeah, it certainly wasn’t for the title. But do you think that fans that paid their hard earned money to watch a pay-per-view would agree it wasn’t important? Do you really think that just because it wasn’t for the title that their current title holder could actually go out there and dog the match? Half ass it, and not give it all he’s got? That’s just a stupid way of thinking. I guess if that’s what it takes though for the three people who are actually Travis Roberts fans, and not just fans of the UGH Champion, to accept that I pinned the ‘Headliner’ clean in the middle of the ring in his first match as Unified Global Champion then it is what it is.”
(As the questions continue we cut to a shot of the passenger loading/unloading area to see Moss Edwards and Grace Harding standing at the curbside. Moss with a distinctly satisfied look on his face, Grace mild concern on hers as the scene ends.)
Grace; “He was our ride, sir.”
Before we know what is happening the quiet barren room has filled to capacity and borders on the verge on rupture. Long awaited families reunite before our eyes. Our heart is filled with the promises kept of lovers once again feeling the warm embrace of their mate. Our souls are emptied as the forgotten members of society quietly pick up their bags from the now roaring carousel quite alone and unneeded. We continue our search for RBI only to find a blonde woman with a firm and perky body in a locked eyes trance. We follow her gaze and are met with a single now empty can of Red Bull.
As we focus on the can it is clear we missed it again, and just as rapidly as the room filled it has emptied. Now however finally we can see Randy Boolzian. Resting against a support pillar, opening another can of Red Bull, and simply waiting we have found him. The shriek of a pair of sisters brought back together for a wedding pierces our ears, and he’s gone.
Hours pass, maybe, and another plane load of people arrive and depart. We find a few more cans of Red Bull. We find a discarded pair of women’s panties in the trash bin. What started as a small cluster has grown into an overwhelming mound of cigarette butts just outside the sliding glass doors.
The sudden insurgence of people into the plaza tells us yet another plane is arriving. We again watch as families bask in their love, we listen as visitors returning from foreign escapades begin to regale their friends, and feel the sorrow of the wasted potential simply grab their checked bags and leave unnoticed.
Then we see Grace Harding stepping from the terminal, and instantly her face glows brighter than a thousands stars. We follow her now pepped step as she quickly makes her way through the armada of families with nothing better to do than be in the way. We almost pass her as she stops at the side of Randy Boolzian. By now her face matches his, and they are both masks.)
Grace; “You… Missed… Me.”
Randy; “You missed me more. C’mon, I’ll grab your bags.”
(The two walk off, and are immediately lost in the crowd. It’s not until the room starts to clear do we find them again walking together, Randy towing a single overflowing luggage cart, and Grace rattling on about life on the set.
Then they both stop.)
Moss; “So ladies and gentlemen of the press, as much as I would love to sit and recap the exciting life the Auteur it would appear that my assistant has made what could be her first oversight in quite some time. I simply cannot afford the time it would take to properly convey the significance of my roll in this major motion picture. But let it not be said that Moss Edwards has let you down…”
Grace; “I had no idea.”
Randy; “You’re gonna need a spanking naughty girl.”
(The sight of Moss Edwards standing before a battalion of new reporters and television cameras in overwhelming. If only for the glare off of his bald head.)
Moss; “My astute assistant has taken great pains to arrange a substitute of almost equal magnitude for you all today. Ladies and gentlemen of the esteemed press, I’d like to introduce to you at this time Randy ‘BoolZ’ Boolzian.”
Grace; “Sorry Randy.”
Randy; “Prove it.”
(Moss steps from behind a small podium as the press core turns to great BoolZ. RBI has a very much ‘deer in the headlights’ look as Moss walks up, shakes his hand, takes the luggage cart, and leads Grace away from the Red Bull Icon. We follow the pair as Grace gives one last mournful look to the Red Bull Icon.
Back at the now press conference Randy takes the first pull from a fresh can of Red Bull, he lights a cigarette, and absorbs the barrage of questions. Without a word Randy finishes his now empty can of Red Bull, sets it to the side, and cracks open another without saying a word.)
Reporter; “If she sells sea shells by the sea shore, than what’s she doing with you?”
(Finally setting the half empty can of Red Bull on the podium Randy takes a drag of his cigarette, and gives way for BoolZ to respond.)
BoolZ; “Pickin’ peppers with Peter Piper. Now why don’t we try one at a time?”
Reporter; “How’s it feel to be in the states?”
BoolZ; “A hotel is a hotel. Wrestling here, Mexico, Japan, or anywhere it is what it is. No different.”
Reporter; “Why has the GIW been so reluctant to grant interviews with it’s roster?”
BoolZ; “Reluctant? I don’t think they’ve been reluctant. Hell Nikko’s been doing some pieces, and just this week Declan tried to be interviewed by the Global Impact Pla…”
Reporter; “Real press.”
BoolZ; “Oh. Well. C’mon guys it’s not like ya’ll were actually on our side when the feds booted us from the country.”
Reporter; “BoolZ, the GIW is back in America now. Has the GIW toned down it’s content?”
BoolZ; “No, I don’t think so.”
(BoolZ takes another pull from a Red Bull, drag from his cigarette, and awaits the next question.)
Reporter; “Then why did the government allow the GIW to return? Global Impact Wrestling must have watered down its product.”
BoolZ; “Honestly I think it’s more of a case of the tits that got us taken off the air being currently disfigured and in hiding. That and Pax tried taking the fight to someone he shouldn’t have, and got his ass torched. We didn’t tone down the product at all. It’s more a case of the troublemakers making to much trouble for their own good.”
Reporter; “Is that why so many members of the GIW roster are rumored to be in therapy?”
BoolZ; “What?”
Reporter; “I have a source inside a very prominent L.A. based Psychologist’s office who is ready to name some of her employers clients. You would have to admit that self destructive behavior is a pattern with the GIW. Declan Prescott is proof positive of that.”
BoolZ; “Declan Prescott is proof positive of a lot of thing. Being a money grubbing leach who only wants to latch onto someone else to get to the top not being the least of which. As for the rumors of GIW members seeing shrinks? Well I’ll believe it when I see it, but really is it that much of a stretch to imagine? I mean we’re grown men who dress up in tights, light each other on fire, throw each other off of buildings, and hit each other with cricket bats. We do all this to take a hold of a metal plate on a belt. Tights don’t even have belt loops.
If, and it’s a big if, that she’s talking about current roster members and now Marlo or Vanity ShowWood then I doubt it is the level of competition in the GIW that drove them to the shrinks office. I would rule out how frustrating it might be however to come across one more crazy talks to himself, forlorn lovers meant to be apart, or someone striving for happiness when they know true happiness would be the end of the road for them.”
*WHAT COULD BE BETTER THAN A SWAN DIVE… INTO THE ASPHALT…*
(‘Swan Dive’ by Hed PE continues as BoolZ’s ring tone. We watch him check his phone, the caller ID reads ‘Mary-Ho’, then he puts the phone back in his pocket as it continues to play.)
Reporter; “You aren’t going to answer it, or at least silence it?”
BoolZ; “Huh, oh, no, I just like the song. Where were we?”
Reporter; “BoolZ, speaking of psychiatrists, you have to recognize Donovan Hastings would have to be on that list. Can we get your thoughts on the Co-Undisputed Champion?”
BoolZ; “I actually try not to think about Hastings. And maybe that’s the problem. See for to long now people have just sat by and watched this mans slow slip into silliness. But seriously it’s just starting to piss me off now. Co-Undisputed champion? What the hell is that? Running around proclaiming himself as the Lord Chief Nigga, after losing the tournament. What the fuck over? See everyone’s just stood by and watched this man do what ever the hell he pleased with little rhyme or reason behind any of it.
Even his partner this week, the real, the only, Undisputed Champion hasn’t done anything about Donovan’s bull shit. But I will. This week I’m going to show to that loony tune to it takes more that intimidating referees, running around with card board cut outs, and playing with ‘one’ ball in his pocket to make it at my level. I don’t have someone he can beat up to make me quit, and this match will be decided by pin fall not by lighting a fart like Dredd on fire. Hastings is going to get in the ring with me, I’m going to drop him on his pointy little head, and just like Prescott is struggling through his DiscumBoolZalation so will Hastings. Who knows, maybe they’ll both come out better men because of it. Or share a padded cell.”
Reporter; “About your match this week. Donovan Hastings partner is none other than Travis Roberts. You have a storied past with the Headliner. What are you thoughts about facing him again this week?”
BoolZ; “I have no thoughts for him. Much like the rest of world I look at him as little more than then carrier of the Unified Global Title. He’s not a champion of any real regard, he just likes beating lined up weak challengers…”
Reporter; “Like you?”
BoolZ; “Well that would suggest MJ had something to do with his last few opponents, but that’s another tangent. But no, not like me. Listen since Infinity Roberts has defended his title against a man I beat first, a woman who could barely keep her life together, and a cartoon character. It’s strings like that that make you realize the Unified Global Title holder main events, not Travis Roberts. You take the belt out of the equation, and he’s just a gangly washed up hippy beating up women.”
Reporter; “So do you think last year was your year?”
BoolZ; “You know, that’s not the first time I’ve heard that, but if it was anyone’s year I would suggest it was the fans year. I mean they were able to watch the GIW step into world wide prominence as the place to go for hard hitting fast paced wrestling. We didn’t have midgets and clowns and… well we had a lot more than midgets and clowns anyway.”
Reporter; “What about your streak?”
BoolZ; “What about it?”
Reporter; “Well isn’t there a case for your streak making it your year?”
Reporter; “Yeah, until Travis ended it?”
BoolZ; “You know, streaks are streaks. Nothing more nothing less. As far as Travis is concerned, I’d remind people that if the streak was important then his name is on my list. For the first time at last years Toxic Intent.”
Reporter; “Yeah, but that match didn’t mean anything. It was important. It certainly wasn’t for the title.”
BoolZ; “Yeah, it certainly wasn’t for the title. But do you think that fans that paid their hard earned money to watch a pay-per-view would agree it wasn’t important? Do you really think that just because it wasn’t for the title that their current title holder could actually go out there and dog the match? Half ass it, and not give it all he’s got? That’s just a stupid way of thinking. I guess if that’s what it takes though for the three people who are actually Travis Roberts fans, and not just fans of the UGH Champion, to accept that I pinned the ‘Headliner’ clean in the middle of the ring in his first match as Unified Global Champion then it is what it is.”
(As the questions continue we cut to a shot of the passenger loading/unloading area to see Moss Edwards and Grace Harding standing at the curbside. Moss with a distinctly satisfied look on his face, Grace mild concern on hers as the scene ends.)
Grace; “He was our ride, sir.”