Post by Lord Hastings on Jul 29, 2009 20:35:53 GMT -5
Donovan sits in the NiggaCave, deep in contemplation. Owen Peterson enters, wearing a pirate's hat, an eye patch, and holding a hook in his hand. It takes a moment for Donovan to notice him, but once he does Donovan barely flinches.
Hastings: Did you lose a bet with Bitch Tits?
Peterson: Um, no. But I had an idea.
Donovan hesitates a moment.
Hastings: Okay. Go ahead.
Peterson: I think maybe it's time for a new gimmick.
Hastings: A new gimmick.
Peterson: Yeah, I'm thinking maybe this "Chief Nigga" thing is...you know...
Hastings: This Chief Nigga thing is...?
Peterson: It's kind of...played out. You know?
Hastings: Chief Nigga is played out.
Peterson: Yeah, so, I was thinking we could change it up.
Hastings: We could change it up.
Peterson: I thought we could be pirates.
Hastings: You want us to be pirates.
Peterson: Yeah! We could swing around on ropes, and have swagger, and...um...not make a mockery of my race anymore...
Hastings: And what will they call us, the Pimping Sons of Plunder?
Peterson: Um...I don't know about the pimping...
Hastings: What am I supposed to say? Jigga-YARR matey?
Peterson: Uh...
Hastings: I think I just have one question.
Peterson: Okay.
Hastings: Are you out of your fucking mind?
Peterson: What's wrong with all that?
Hastings: Alright, you tell me, what am I going to do at No Holds Barred, in the land of the Yellow Peril?
Peterson cringes.
Peterson: You're going to-
Hastings: You want to be a fucking pirate? Speak proper, swashbuckler.
Peterson: The Lord Hastings be goin' t' face th' monster Dredd at Nay Holds Barred, an' he beat th' lad's within an each o' his life. When he be done wi' that, he`ll go on t' be th' number one contender t' th' Undisputed Global Heavyweight Championship, which be his true destiny an' be inevitable. Ya bilge rat who ortin' t' be keel hauled!
Hastings: Not working for me. Nigga that shit up.
Peterson: What?
Hastings: Take that pile of nonsense you just said, and Nigga that shit up, Niglet.
Peterson: But I-
Hastings: Niglet! Pirate proper!
Peterson sighs.
Peterson: The Lord Hastings be goin' t' face th' monster Dredd at Nay Holds Barred, an' he beat th' lad'swithin an each o' his life. When he be done wi' dat, he`ll jet on t' be th' number one contender t' th' Undisputed Global Heavyweight Championship, which be his true destiny an' be inevitable. Ya bilge rat who ortin' t' be keel hauled, and git Sheniquah's ass back ova' heeah.
Hastings: See, now that's better, yet overwhelming. So you know what I think we'll do?
Peterson: ...what?
Hastings: GET RID OF THE PIRATE SHIT.
Peterson: But maybe we could-
Hastings: Have you LOST your FUCKING MIND. Get this shit out of here!
Peterson mopes as he takes off the hat and walks towards the door.
Hastings: Seriously, what the hell was that? I'm sitting here trying to plan how Blessed Immortality is going to win this six man tag match on Sentinel, and you bring this nonsense in here? Garbage that has nothing to do with anything? What is wrong with you, Niglet?
Peterson looks about to speak, but he stops himself.
Hastings: Spit it out!
Peterson: You need a change.
Hastings: And who are you to decide that?
Peterson nods his head, and starts to leave.
Hastings: Do you have a problem with me being the Chief Nigga?
Peterson stares at him.
Peterson: I wouldn't expect you to understand.
Peterson leaves. Donovan stares at the door for a few moments.
Hastings: I understand you want me to look like a fool!
He walks back to the chair and sits down, before speaking softly.
Hastings: But I do appreciate the distraction...
Hastings: Did you lose a bet with Bitch Tits?
Peterson: Um, no. But I had an idea.
Donovan hesitates a moment.
Hastings: Okay. Go ahead.
Peterson: I think maybe it's time for a new gimmick.
Hastings: A new gimmick.
Peterson: Yeah, I'm thinking maybe this "Chief Nigga" thing is...you know...
Hastings: This Chief Nigga thing is...?
Peterson: It's kind of...played out. You know?
Hastings: Chief Nigga is played out.
Peterson: Yeah, so, I was thinking we could change it up.
Hastings: We could change it up.
Peterson: I thought we could be pirates.
Hastings: You want us to be pirates.
Peterson: Yeah! We could swing around on ropes, and have swagger, and...um...not make a mockery of my race anymore...
Hastings: And what will they call us, the Pimping Sons of Plunder?
Peterson: Um...I don't know about the pimping...
Hastings: What am I supposed to say? Jigga-YARR matey?
Peterson: Uh...
Hastings: I think I just have one question.
Peterson: Okay.
Hastings: Are you out of your fucking mind?
Peterson: What's wrong with all that?
Hastings: Alright, you tell me, what am I going to do at No Holds Barred, in the land of the Yellow Peril?
Peterson cringes.
Peterson: You're going to-
Hastings: You want to be a fucking pirate? Speak proper, swashbuckler.
Peterson: The Lord Hastings be goin' t' face th' monster Dredd at Nay Holds Barred, an' he beat th' lad's within an each o' his life. When he be done wi' that, he`ll go on t' be th' number one contender t' th' Undisputed Global Heavyweight Championship, which be his true destiny an' be inevitable. Ya bilge rat who ortin' t' be keel hauled!
Hastings: Not working for me. Nigga that shit up.
Peterson: What?
Hastings: Take that pile of nonsense you just said, and Nigga that shit up, Niglet.
Peterson: But I-
Hastings: Niglet! Pirate proper!
Peterson sighs.
Peterson: The Lord Hastings be goin' t' face th' monster Dredd at Nay Holds Barred, an' he beat th' lad'swithin an each o' his life. When he be done wi' dat, he`ll jet on t' be th' number one contender t' th' Undisputed Global Heavyweight Championship, which be his true destiny an' be inevitable. Ya bilge rat who ortin' t' be keel hauled, and git Sheniquah's ass back ova' heeah.
Hastings: See, now that's better, yet overwhelming. So you know what I think we'll do?
Peterson: ...what?
Hastings: GET RID OF THE PIRATE SHIT.
Peterson: But maybe we could-
Hastings: Have you LOST your FUCKING MIND. Get this shit out of here!
Peterson mopes as he takes off the hat and walks towards the door.
Hastings: Seriously, what the hell was that? I'm sitting here trying to plan how Blessed Immortality is going to win this six man tag match on Sentinel, and you bring this nonsense in here? Garbage that has nothing to do with anything? What is wrong with you, Niglet?
Peterson looks about to speak, but he stops himself.
Hastings: Spit it out!
Peterson: You need a change.
Hastings: And who are you to decide that?
Peterson nods his head, and starts to leave.
Hastings: Do you have a problem with me being the Chief Nigga?
Peterson stares at him.
Peterson: I wouldn't expect you to understand.
Peterson leaves. Donovan stares at the door for a few moments.
Hastings: I understand you want me to look like a fool!
He walks back to the chair and sits down, before speaking softly.
Hastings: But I do appreciate the distraction...