Post by Seito Risa on Sept 22, 2013 19:33:42 GMT -5
Ichiro exited the house of his lover...ex-lover, God help him...and walked to the sidewalk. It had been presented well enough, and he understood it was a danger of his agreeing to accompany Risa to the United States. Deep in his heart, he knew it was the right thing for them both. Another man had stepped in, filling the void he had left, and it left his heart in a place to finally allow him to open up to the other, who had shared his heart. Still, it had hurt, even if he had once again painted on the brave face. He walked the three blocks to the bus stop, wiping at tears in his eyes. The emotion of the last few hours threatening to wash over him. He didn't want to allow it, as now that other someone special, who would now have his whole heart, needed him, desperately. He forced his mind to focus not on the shattered dream of the past, but on the warm sun of the future, assuming that light would shine. He feared that the fire he had found so warming, so comforting to his soul, might be out forever. He leaned on the bus sign and pulled a packet of gum from his pocket. He peeled a piece and folded it into a wad and jammed it in the left side of his mouth. Something to keep his subconscious busy. The bus arrived and he deposited his token, walked back to a seat in the middle of the bus and slipped in, lowering his head into his hands. Others on the bus might think him tired. He was, after all, exactly that. The ride took two hours, with all of the stops and the pass through the main bus station, but at three in the afternoon, he turned onto the street where the Seito house stood and stopped. Did he really want to go there? He considered this, then nodded. He walked the last few yards, holding himself back. He arrived and knocked on the door. It was opened, but not by whom he had thought. It was not Risa, anxious for news on how plans were for his moving in with his lover. It was Mrs. Seito.
Mother: "Well, hello, Ichiro. Please come in."
She stepped aside, letting him in. She watched him, studying his practiced pace. She could sense the conflict, and the shadows around him, but she didn't ask. Instead...
Mother: "I'm afraid we already finished lunch, but I can make you some tea, a sandwich perhaps?"
He had not eaten since breakfast, a mistake he reflected to himself. The offer of comforting tea and food was tempting.
I: "I'd better speak with Risa first."
Mrs. Seito smiled, but shook her head.
Mother: "I'm afraid she isn't home. She wanted to take a walk, try to sort things out. I suggested she might try the Shrine."
Ichiro's mind immediately mapped out the quickest and most efficient routes there. He looked at Mrs. Seito and decided that there was a reason she had suggested that place.
I: "Then Risa has finally found the strength to face what is troubling her. If anywhere is safe for her to do so, it would be the place where she is most watched over, aside from this house. A most wise suggestion, Mrs. Seito."
She nodded at him.
Mother: "Thank you. Grant I had to give her a real water works show to get her to go..."
Ichiro grinned, despite his mood.
I: "I would say I wish I had been there to see it, but that would be somewhat of a lie."
She giggled and motioned him to the kitchen.
Mother: "Come on in. I will fix you your favorite, a BLT. We'll get you some nice hot tea and you can relax."
He followed her into the kitchen and settled at the table. He had really wanted to talk to Risa, to just spill everything that had happened. Now not only did his heart hurt, but he felt guilty for not being here to walk with her to the shrine. No, he decided, it was best she do this alone. She knows I will always be there for her. But this, even I cannot help with. But I can still pray for her. And miss her.
I: "Mrs. Seito?"
She opened the refrigerator, pulling out a package of bacon, peeling of four slices.
Mother: "You are practically family, Ichiro. My name is Seiko. You can call me Sei-chan if you like. But you don't have to call me Mrs. Seito."
He bowed his head in acceptance and thanks.
I: "Sei-chan. I had hoped to discuss this with Risa. I need to talk to someone or I think I might have a meltdown."
Four pieces of bacon hit a hot griddle. A pair of tongs used to poke them.
Seiko: "I will always be here to listen, Ichiro. As I said you are part of the family to me."
He sighed.
I: "My visit with Hatomi-san didn't go so well."
The bacon is flipped. This done, Seiko turned to him.
Seiko: "That doesn't sound good at all."
Ichiro shook his head.
I: "No. It isn't. He...broke up with me. He found another during my absence, who isn't on the travel schedule I am on. I'm not bitter or angry...I'm just hurt. And I..."
He hesitated. Seiko caught the hesitation and turned to tend to the bacon. Ichiro liked it crisp.
Seiko: "You were hoping to be able to talk to Risa about it, as she is your best friend and would be the most understanding."
Ichiro nodded.
I: "Yes. No. Not entirely. Sei-chan. I'm confused."
It seemed the bacon could take care of itself for the moment as she again turned to look at him.
Seiko: "What has you so confused?"
Ichiro hesitated. He had started it, so now he had to finish.
I: "I have, over the last few months, developed deep feelings for Risa. I do not know how it feels to be in love with a girl, but if I had to guess, it would be how I feel about her now."
Seiko's eyebrows went up, but she smiled.
Seiko: "This may confuse you all the more, Ichi-chan, but I have been anticipating that. I didn't know if it would ever change your relationship with Hatomi-san, but it seems that has changed on its own. What can I do to help you?"
He shrugged as she put water into a kettle and set it on a burner to warm.
I: "I don't know. I'm usually the one with the suggestions, the ideas, the clarity. I"m not used to being cloudy like this."
She nodded and took the bacon, now nice a crisp, off of the griddle and set two thick slices of bread onto the grill to brown in the bacon grease.
Seiko: "Did you feel any different when you met Hatomi-san?"
He shook his head.
I: "I was confused then, too, but not like this."
She smiled and poked the bread with the tongs.
Seiko: "Sudden change in ones life can cause a great deal of stress. But there is one serious question I have to ask."
He looked up at her.
I: "Nani?"
She flipped the bread.
Seiko: "Do you believe you truly love Risa? Spiritually, emotionally and physically?"
He looked down at his hands. He thought back to the nightmares when he thought she might die at Outlast. The horrible feeling of his own heart stopping as Risa fainted backstage. How his heart sank and his anger boiled when he saw her that night, barely able to do more than flop her head and blink. His anger had been such that he had considered tracking down the hotel where the bikers were staying, but his common sense had not left him. It had been Ooley who had to be dealt with first.
I: "Sei-chan. I believe I do."
He blinked as the BLT promised arrived on a plate, with a side of celery. Next came a steaming hot cup of tea. A second cup settled to the table and Seiko settled into the seat across from him.
Seiko: "My advice to you is to tell her. When and how I trust you to know, but let her know. I've seen how she feels about you in her eyes, felt how she lights up when you're around. I believe she feels the same way about you."
He sighed, taking the tea with a quick bow of gratitude and sipping it, the warmth of it making his body feel some bit of comfort.
I: "I will. I think right now, after I eat, I would like a nap. Is the guest room available?"
Seiko nodded, a smile on her face.
Seiko: "When you told me what happened and that you were coming home, I made it up for you. It's all ready."
Ichiro let his shoulders slump, his head bowed.
I: "Domo arigato."
She reached across and tussled his hair, he looked up in surprise, to find her hiding her smile behind her tea cup.
Seiko: "Eat up. You know where the room is upstairs. Do you mind talking to me a little more while eating?"
He shook his head.
I: "Not at all...Sei-chan."
=====
Ichiro had gone up stairs shortly after five. He still laid there, staring at the ceiling. He couldn't force himself to sleep, not until he talked to Risa, and she still was not home from the Shrine. It was now nearly 10pm. He wondered if she were coming back. If something had happened to her. Her heart might have stopped again or...he shook his head, thoughts such as those had a habit of coming true if you dwelled on them too long. He had found a song, a song that made him think of Risa and everything that was happening. A song that, for some odd reason, made him feel both comforted and sad. Retrieving his phone, he cued up the song and played it again.
Phoenix Rising
He closed his eyes, thinking of how different his life might be if he had not agreed to go to the States. He knew this was right, though it hurt to admit it. His heart had long been patient with him, waiting on him to figure it out. He closed his eyes...
I: (whispered) "May the Gods guide you to your truth, Risa. May you find the strength you need. I need you, I need to feel the warmth of your wings again. Together, there is nothing we cannot do. Take what strength you need from me. Just please find yourself again."
He cued the song one more time and flipped over, pulling the covers up and trying to settle in for sleep. He felt comfort. It seemed to be surrounding him, from more than one direction. This comfort helped him settle into the bed and begin to let go, to sleep. Unseen by him, standing in the doorway, looking in, Seito Seiko watched, a sad smile on her face. She whispered a soft prayer of her own.
Seiko: "Sleep, Ichi-chan. Risa needs you. She needs us all."
Slowly she pulled the door closed, latching it without a sound. The song came to its end. The phone pinged, Ichiro not hearing it. The screen lit.
Staying the night at the Shrine. Struggling but getting through. Thinking of you and my family is getting me through. I love you, Ichi-kun. - S.R.
The message stayed on the screen for a few moments, until the screen faded to black for energy saving.
Mother: "Well, hello, Ichiro. Please come in."
She stepped aside, letting him in. She watched him, studying his practiced pace. She could sense the conflict, and the shadows around him, but she didn't ask. Instead...
Mother: "I'm afraid we already finished lunch, but I can make you some tea, a sandwich perhaps?"
He had not eaten since breakfast, a mistake he reflected to himself. The offer of comforting tea and food was tempting.
I: "I'd better speak with Risa first."
Mrs. Seito smiled, but shook her head.
Mother: "I'm afraid she isn't home. She wanted to take a walk, try to sort things out. I suggested she might try the Shrine."
Ichiro's mind immediately mapped out the quickest and most efficient routes there. He looked at Mrs. Seito and decided that there was a reason she had suggested that place.
I: "Then Risa has finally found the strength to face what is troubling her. If anywhere is safe for her to do so, it would be the place where she is most watched over, aside from this house. A most wise suggestion, Mrs. Seito."
She nodded at him.
Mother: "Thank you. Grant I had to give her a real water works show to get her to go..."
Ichiro grinned, despite his mood.
I: "I would say I wish I had been there to see it, but that would be somewhat of a lie."
She giggled and motioned him to the kitchen.
Mother: "Come on in. I will fix you your favorite, a BLT. We'll get you some nice hot tea and you can relax."
He followed her into the kitchen and settled at the table. He had really wanted to talk to Risa, to just spill everything that had happened. Now not only did his heart hurt, but he felt guilty for not being here to walk with her to the shrine. No, he decided, it was best she do this alone. She knows I will always be there for her. But this, even I cannot help with. But I can still pray for her. And miss her.
I: "Mrs. Seito?"
She opened the refrigerator, pulling out a package of bacon, peeling of four slices.
Mother: "You are practically family, Ichiro. My name is Seiko. You can call me Sei-chan if you like. But you don't have to call me Mrs. Seito."
He bowed his head in acceptance and thanks.
I: "Sei-chan. I had hoped to discuss this with Risa. I need to talk to someone or I think I might have a meltdown."
Four pieces of bacon hit a hot griddle. A pair of tongs used to poke them.
Seiko: "I will always be here to listen, Ichiro. As I said you are part of the family to me."
He sighed.
I: "My visit with Hatomi-san didn't go so well."
The bacon is flipped. This done, Seiko turned to him.
Seiko: "That doesn't sound good at all."
Ichiro shook his head.
I: "No. It isn't. He...broke up with me. He found another during my absence, who isn't on the travel schedule I am on. I'm not bitter or angry...I'm just hurt. And I..."
He hesitated. Seiko caught the hesitation and turned to tend to the bacon. Ichiro liked it crisp.
Seiko: "You were hoping to be able to talk to Risa about it, as she is your best friend and would be the most understanding."
Ichiro nodded.
I: "Yes. No. Not entirely. Sei-chan. I'm confused."
It seemed the bacon could take care of itself for the moment as she again turned to look at him.
Seiko: "What has you so confused?"
Ichiro hesitated. He had started it, so now he had to finish.
I: "I have, over the last few months, developed deep feelings for Risa. I do not know how it feels to be in love with a girl, but if I had to guess, it would be how I feel about her now."
Seiko's eyebrows went up, but she smiled.
Seiko: "This may confuse you all the more, Ichi-chan, but I have been anticipating that. I didn't know if it would ever change your relationship with Hatomi-san, but it seems that has changed on its own. What can I do to help you?"
He shrugged as she put water into a kettle and set it on a burner to warm.
I: "I don't know. I'm usually the one with the suggestions, the ideas, the clarity. I"m not used to being cloudy like this."
She nodded and took the bacon, now nice a crisp, off of the griddle and set two thick slices of bread onto the grill to brown in the bacon grease.
Seiko: "Did you feel any different when you met Hatomi-san?"
He shook his head.
I: "I was confused then, too, but not like this."
She smiled and poked the bread with the tongs.
Seiko: "Sudden change in ones life can cause a great deal of stress. But there is one serious question I have to ask."
He looked up at her.
I: "Nani?"
She flipped the bread.
Seiko: "Do you believe you truly love Risa? Spiritually, emotionally and physically?"
He looked down at his hands. He thought back to the nightmares when he thought she might die at Outlast. The horrible feeling of his own heart stopping as Risa fainted backstage. How his heart sank and his anger boiled when he saw her that night, barely able to do more than flop her head and blink. His anger had been such that he had considered tracking down the hotel where the bikers were staying, but his common sense had not left him. It had been Ooley who had to be dealt with first.
I: "Sei-chan. I believe I do."
He blinked as the BLT promised arrived on a plate, with a side of celery. Next came a steaming hot cup of tea. A second cup settled to the table and Seiko settled into the seat across from him.
Seiko: "My advice to you is to tell her. When and how I trust you to know, but let her know. I've seen how she feels about you in her eyes, felt how she lights up when you're around. I believe she feels the same way about you."
He sighed, taking the tea with a quick bow of gratitude and sipping it, the warmth of it making his body feel some bit of comfort.
I: "I will. I think right now, after I eat, I would like a nap. Is the guest room available?"
Seiko nodded, a smile on her face.
Seiko: "When you told me what happened and that you were coming home, I made it up for you. It's all ready."
Ichiro let his shoulders slump, his head bowed.
I: "Domo arigato."
She reached across and tussled his hair, he looked up in surprise, to find her hiding her smile behind her tea cup.
Seiko: "Eat up. You know where the room is upstairs. Do you mind talking to me a little more while eating?"
He shook his head.
I: "Not at all...Sei-chan."
=====
Ichiro had gone up stairs shortly after five. He still laid there, staring at the ceiling. He couldn't force himself to sleep, not until he talked to Risa, and she still was not home from the Shrine. It was now nearly 10pm. He wondered if she were coming back. If something had happened to her. Her heart might have stopped again or...he shook his head, thoughts such as those had a habit of coming true if you dwelled on them too long. He had found a song, a song that made him think of Risa and everything that was happening. A song that, for some odd reason, made him feel both comforted and sad. Retrieving his phone, he cued up the song and played it again.
Phoenix Rising
He closed his eyes, thinking of how different his life might be if he had not agreed to go to the States. He knew this was right, though it hurt to admit it. His heart had long been patient with him, waiting on him to figure it out. He closed his eyes...
I: (whispered) "May the Gods guide you to your truth, Risa. May you find the strength you need. I need you, I need to feel the warmth of your wings again. Together, there is nothing we cannot do. Take what strength you need from me. Just please find yourself again."
He cued the song one more time and flipped over, pulling the covers up and trying to settle in for sleep. He felt comfort. It seemed to be surrounding him, from more than one direction. This comfort helped him settle into the bed and begin to let go, to sleep. Unseen by him, standing in the doorway, looking in, Seito Seiko watched, a sad smile on her face. She whispered a soft prayer of her own.
Seiko: "Sleep, Ichi-chan. Risa needs you. She needs us all."
Slowly she pulled the door closed, latching it without a sound. The song came to its end. The phone pinged, Ichiro not hearing it. The screen lit.
Staying the night at the Shrine. Struggling but getting through. Thinking of you and my family is getting me through. I love you, Ichi-kun. - S.R.
The message stayed on the screen for a few moments, until the screen faded to black for energy saving.
Gives good character development too. 
