Post by Roxy Cotton on Jan 15, 2019 14:39:44 GMT -5
The scene opens as Roxy lifts her laptop screen, showing her in her typical broadcast locale, her posh boudoir at home in Malibu, California.
This time, though, Roxy isn't decked out in any sexy lingerie or slinky nightgowns. In fact, her makeup isn't even applied. She wears a think, fluffy, terry cloth robe in a dark purple with her name embroidered on the left lapel. Her hair is clumsily tied up over her head in a scrunchy matching the bathrobe, and her nostrils are stuffed with tissues.
"Achoo."
Roxy pouts into the cam, looking genuinely sad.
"Like... I told Lucas Dupree I was sick AF. I'm sitting here with a 99 degree temperature, I've got chills, my tummy is all growly, I have a headache, my throat hurts... but do the people at LAW care about their Chaos Champion? Obviously not. Here I am, dying, and I still have to travel to Tallahassee super early tomorrow and have a match at LAW #77 for no fucking reason. Like, what was the booking committee thinking here? Liz Blackwell? Really? I barely know her! She seems cool or whatever, why am I fighting her? There are so many other better choices. Like, I could beat up that loser Clementine like everyone else does. Or even Katie Klein or the rest of the Naughty Girls. If LAW wanted a main event caliber match, they could have booked me against Ali Lukas or Amy Jo... or heck, just cut to the chase and give me a shot against Gabby Camacho. That's going to happen someday anyway, just rip the band aid off and admit that Roxy Cotton is the blockbuster star of this company and let me carry the banner. But Blackwell? Why? I don't think we've said two words to each other backstage. I think I walked into her dressing room by accident one night while she was like killing a goat or whatever, but I just said excuse me and backed out. She never even looked up from communing with the dark lord to notice, so I don't think she asked for a match with me over that. Do you think she did? Is she petty? I have no idea."
Roxy produces a tissue from off screen and holds it up to her mouth as she delicately coughs into it.
"Keh. Keh. I'm so sorry, babies, I hate having you see me this way. I took, like, a ton of vitamins earlier trying to get over this flu in time..."
Suddenly, the door behind Roxy pops open and Roxy's fiance of three years, Vinnie Lane, bounds into the room wearing tight leather pants and a cut up Faster Pussycat tee. Vinnie belly flops onto the bed behind Roxy, causing her to bounce up and down.
"Yeah you took a ton of vitamin D this morning, right babe!?"
"Vinnie..."
"Babe what are you doing with those tissues in your nose? You look weird."
"I'm sick..."
"What? Dude you spent all day lying out by the pool, you were fine then!"
"Vinnie, please..."
"You said you were getting ready to head out, remember? You wanted you and me to hit the town and get 'white girl wasted?'"
"I don't feel good, I have a fever. Here."
Roxy takes Vinnie's hand and presses it against the skin of her chest as she opens her robe slightly.
"Feel that?"
She says in a breathy voice, staring into Vinnie's eyes as his heartbeat clearly rises.
"Uh huh."
"Really hot right?"
Vinnie stares down at Roxy's heaving bosom under his hand, and his lather pants squeak as he adjusts himself.
"I uh... you're so hot babe..."
"I know! See? I'm sick!"
"No, I meant-"
"So I can't possibly go to Florida tomorrow, baby, but the LAW people wouldn't let me call in sick. Can you believe them? Like, that's cruel. What if I get even sicker from being in the ring with a real life witch? That can't be good for the flu, right? Don't the people of LAW care about employee safety?"
"Well, babe, do you think maybe they saw all your Snaps and Tweets for the last few days and maybe just don't think you're all that sick?"
Roxy looks pensively, her mouth pursing as she gets deep in thought. When Vinnie tries to scoot his had further under her robe, Roxy swats it away.
"Ow!"
"Maybe you're right, baby... here, I'll tweet that I'm sick."
Roxy grabs her cell phone from beside her, clicking her manicured fingernails across the glass screen. After a few seconds of tapping, she smiles and holds the phone up for Vinnie.
"There! See? That's good right?"
"I mean, I guess..."
"So now Lucas and Megan and all the rest have to accept that I'm sick!"
"Babe, I don't know..."
"They do! I tried to text them a picture of a doctor's note too but they like wouldn't even look at it. Megan said it didn't count and accused me of writing it myself! What if they try to cut my pay or strip my title?"
"Well babe... why don't you just, like, go to Florida and have the match? I mean it's not anyone tough right?"
Roxy stares at Vinnie coldly, the gleam in her emerald eyes seeming to intensify as she locks her gaze on him, unblinking.
"Vinnie... Liz Blackwell is nobody, sure, but I AM SICK. Do you know what could happen to my career if I go out there and lose to a gothy girl who no one has ever heard of? I'm a champion, Vinnie! I have to always be the best, and steal the show! Plus it's Tallahassee! Everyone in the building is full of swamp germs and autism. I could get sicker!"
"Babe I really don't think you're all that sick..."
"And... AND... Liz Blackwell is like some sort of weird cartoon girl or something. I saw Ali Lukas say so on Twitter. I never noticed myself, but she really does seem to have like a totally different color to her than any other wrestler in LAW. I didn't want to really bring it up or ask her, because that's racist and I'm not like Sativa."
"Dude, Sativa isn't..."
"So what if Liz has some weird cartoon disease? Hm? What then? What if my compromised immune system can't handle her weird cartoon virus and I die? Would you be happy then Vinnie? If I die?"
"No babe of course not, but..."
"It's possible you know. There were, like, a lot of cartoon people dying in the 80s. They had like their own AIDS. I was watching a true crime show about it, where this detective named Eddie was helping all the toons in toontown because they were dying, and this rabbit and him had to track down this evil man who was poisoning him!"
"Wait... you mean Who Framed Rodger Rabbit? I love that movie! That wasn't real, Rox, cartons aren't real."
"Well how do you explain Liz Blackwell, Vinnie? Are you saying Alicia Lukas is a liar? Are you saying that cartoon people don't have rights and stuff? Maybe YOU'RE the racist one, just like Sativa!"
Roxy's voice gets higher and higher pitched as her arms flail around and her eyes start to tear up. She collapses into Vinnie's chest, sobbing against his concert tee shirt. Vinnie holds her close and strokes her platinum blonde hair.
"Babe. Chill. I'm sure it will all be fine. It's just a wrestling match. You've got this! You're one of the best wrestlers LAW has ever seen! A two time champion! You kicked down the door and proved to everyone that you're more than just a pretty face and a rad body! You're gonna kick ass!"
Vinnie rocks back and forth, Shhhh-ing quietly as Roxy continues to cry into his chest. Finally, Roxy sits up and wipes away her tears with another tissue.
"I don't wanna fight a cartoon witch!"
"Babe... come on."
"No! I don't want to! Milisandre is goth and she's really weird and knows some tentacle faced octopus guy who always tries to grape people. What if Liz knows him too? What if I get raped by Cooter Lou right there in the middle of the ring, and I get a weird cartoon STD like all those cartoons in Rodger Rabbit?"
"Wow, okay, there's a lot to unpack in what you said there..."
"What if he rapes me pregnant? Do people birth control pills work on cartoons and horror movie gods?"
"I really don't think..."
"Ugh! You're no help at all!"
Vinnie frowns as Roxy turns away from him, crossing her arms over her chest in a huff. He gets up, smoothing down the leather of his thighs and heads for the door.
"I'm sorry babe. I'm gonna go get a drink and play some video games. Probably head to bed early."
"What? No, baby, we have to go out remember?"
"Wait... but you're sick?"
"Okay?"
"So..."
"But I want to go out. I can just be sick for tomorrow instead of tonight."
"Rox..."
"WE'RE GOING OUT."
"Okay... okay... let me know when you're ready."
"Thanks baby, I will."
Vinnie heads out of the bedroom and Roxy smiles into the webcam, pulling the tissues from her nose as she waves and blows a kiss.
"See you soon!"
