Post by LoverboyVinnieLane on Aug 17, 2019 19:07:16 GMT -5
UNSKINNY BOP
“Loverboy” Vinnie Lane is tired.
He lays in his bed, skin shining with sweat, and shoves the sheets off of him as if they were electric blankets in the summertime. His ceiling fan can’t cool him fast enough, and he can’t fill his lungs with enough cool evening air to lower his core body temperature.
He knew he didn’t have long.
“Oh man… get it together, Loverboy… this is bad for the reputation…”
His chest rises and falls, gleaming in the light from his bedside lamp after he tugs the cord to switch it on. In the light, red claw marks run in parallel lines across his bare pecs. Scratches from a pair of long nailed hands.
Roxy had periods of being downright insatiable, and Vinnie was smack dab in the middle of one. But, he wasn’t getting any younger. He was 41 years old, and although he kept himself in prime condition and had honestly never been in better shape in his life, his stamina wasn’t what it was when he was in his 20s. He just couldn’t keep up with her when she insisted on a full nine innings.
Luckily she’d given him a seventh inning stretch tonight.
She was downstairs, getting them both a glass of water. His brief respite wouldn’t last long, he knew, as she hadn’t even bothered to throw on a robe or a camisole… she was a lioness on the hunt, and he was her sacrificial… gnu? Or wildebeest? He wasn’t sure. He needed to watch more Animal Planet.
“Alexa, remind me to watch more Animal Planet.”
“Okay, I’ll set a reminder for… watch more Animal Planet.”
“Cool, thanks Alexa.”
Too bad he couldn’t tag Alexa in for a little while. Kick back and watch some girl on girl while he got some energy back. Maybe he needed to add more flax seed or something to his diet… at this rate, he needed to try something or Roxy was going to kill him with her appetite.
“Alexa, add flax seed oil to my shopping list.”
“Okay, I added… flax seed oil to the shopping list.”
“Thanks again Alexa, you’re really the best.”
Vinnie closed his eyes and tried to lower his heart rate. He thought about calming things. Clouds rolling through the sky. Waves lazily climbing across the sand as the tide comes in. If he stroked out while getting Roxy through the home stretch, would he end up drooling in a wheelchair for the rest of his life?
He sat straight up.
“Oh crap… I’m not ready!”
He could hear her coming up the stairs. She had gentle footfalls, and she hummed when she was happy. He didn’t think she even knew she did it, but that was okay. It was his job to pay attention to all the little things that were wonderful about her… her job was just to be that wonderful.
She was going to walk into the bedroom any second. Vinnie panicked. He darted out of the bed and scampered into the bathroom, locking the door behind him. Leaning against it he counted backward from twenty until his breathing was more normal.
“Vinnie? Where’d you go?”
He heard the clink of glass on wood as she set his glass of water down on his bedside table. He heard the springs of their mattress compress as she climbed back onto it like that lioness prowling her savannah.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah! I’m great, babe!”
He lied. He had no idea what he was going to do but he knew if he went back out there now he might end up in the back of an ambulance.
“I just… I had to go to the bathroom, dude!”
“Okay, well… hurry back. I’m still feeling REALLY frisky. I wanna do it wearing all my title belts! OMG how cool would that be? My premium Snap would blow UP.”
“Uh huh… great idea babe…”
Vinnie walked slowly toward the toilet. His bare feet feeling the chill of the cold bathroom tile underneath them felt like they weighed a ton apiece, but eventually he made it there. Settling down on the porcelain seat he let out a long sigh.
He thought of it like his fortress of solitude. The only time he had to himself anymore was when he was locked in his bathroom, sitting on his throne. The feel of the seat had become a welcome comfort to him. Sometimes he would sit in the bathroom, sitting on his toilet, until he lost feeling in his toes. His feet would fall asleep while he stared at the wall across from him, where a small shelving unit held towels and potpourri.
“Vinnie? Come ON! Are you sick or something?”
“Uh… it might be a little bit, babe!”
He reached down between the commode and the sink, pulling out the little stool he would prop his feet on when it was time for the ol’ number two special. His squatty potty. He made sure to drag it across the tile floor so Roxy would be sure to hear it moving into place. As he placed his feet on the plastic stool, he heard her sigh in the bedroom.
“Oh god… Vinnie, really? Now?”
“Sorry babe! Nature calls!”
“Will you PLEASE make sure you use the air freshener?”
“Yup! No worries, Rox. Maybe you should just turn on some Netflix? Don’t sit and wait for me…”
“Great. So much for those Snaps!”
He plopped his face into his hands, leaning forward until his elbows rested on his knees. He listened to the closet door in his bedroom open and close - Roxy grabbing her silk kimono robe. He heard her walk heavily out of the room, the way she only did when she was annoyed and wanted it to be known.
Then, he heard the stairs as she climbed back down to the first floor of their dream home, the Pink Palisades.
“Oh thank god…”
Vinnie Lane leaned backward, his shoulders kissing the cold porcelain of the toilet tank as he let out a shuddering exhale. Finally, some peace and rest. If he was going to step back into a wrestling ring in a couple days for UGWC Chill, he needed to not do so with an exhausted mind and body. Or a slipped disc. Or an exploded cranial artery.
Vinnie heard the big screen television murmur through the bathroom floor and he relaxed a little. She’d get caught up in some sort of binge watching and Vinnie could spend as much time as he needed holed up in the bathroom, straddling his favorite seat in the whole house.
He never thought in his life he’d be crossing his fingers for less sex.
"Zzzzzzzzzz..."