Post by Lord Hastings on Feb 24, 2020 20:56:28 GMT -5
Welcome to GlobalTrollz LIVE Synergy Coverage for February 24th, 2020!
Championship Roll Call:
World Heavyweight Champion: Sarah Grey-Lacklan
Cross-Hemisphere Champion: Phrixus Deimos
Cooperative Champions: Alan Wallace & Travis Roberts
Chaos Champion: Kenzi Grey-Lacklan
Your Synergy coverage begins, now…
- Vinegar, Hans, and Jay give us the usual intro that transitions into childish bickering. [/CopyPaste]
Before we get underway, we go backstage where Mandatory Niceness lessons have begun.
'Voodoo Child'
Duncan Ryder saunters out onto the stage. Despite the lack of discernible response from the crowd he still takes the time to pose before casually making his way to the ring.
The announcers voice their confusion as what is actually going on here as Sarah Grey-Lacklan is not scheduled or expected to appear until the main event.
Ryder climbs up the steps and into the ring. He strips off his tracksuit jacket and tosses it aside before flexing in the middle of the ring like he's in a bodybuilding contest. His music stops and an awkward quiet falls over the arena. Everyone tenses for a second as a figure appears on the stage but it is only Todd the Intern. He looks distinctly uncomfortable in front of the crowd and sprints down to the ring. He climbs in and hands Mitchell Dennis and memo before sliding out of the ring and handing a copy to the announce team as well. His job done he quickly makes his escape.
The sounds of Gothic Gregorian chanting fills the arena. A man walks out onto the stage in facepaint and a black hooded dressing gown, his shabby appearance looking deeply out of place in the high value production of the UGWC arena.
Mitchell Dennis introduces him. The Supreme Jersey Wrestling Heavyweight Champion, The Manifestation of Panic, Phobos Timore.
Three guys in the crowd who follow SJW go nuts.
The announcers explain to the viewers at home that Todd passed them a memo from Robert Ooley, declaring that Duncan Ryder will be participating in this special cross promotional contest and challenging for the SJW Heavyweight Championship.
Phobos Timore makes his own subdued entrance. A chant of “You're-not-Dei-mos,” gets picked up by many in attendance. In the ring Ryder is incensed, pacing wildly, yelling at Mitchell Dennis who holds his hands up, protesting his own innocence as he climbs out of the ring.
Timore goes to climb into the ring between the ropes but Ryder has had enough and pounces on him halfway through, grabbing him by the hood of his dressing gown and dragging him into the centre of the ring. He starts laying boots into Timore, preventing him from being able to get to his feet. Timore tries to scramble away but Ryder keeps pulling him back using different parts of the gown, forcing Timore to desperately shrug and wriggle his way out of it. He's eventually successful, leaving Ryder holding the gown which he throws out of the ring in disgust.
Timore manages to get to a corner and starts pulling himself up, still being stomped the whole time. He reaches his feet regardless and takes several hard forearm shots to the face. Ryder then drops and hits him with a trio of hard shoulder thrusts to the abdomen. Ryder pulls him into the centre of the ring and hits him with a big short-arm lariat. He takes a second to look out into the crowd before making a lazy cover. He gets a two count which visibly annoys him.
Vinegar remarks that Ryder looks like he's getting complacent while Lieberjosch is the first person to say anything nice about him and point out that he can be, because Timore is a bum.
Ryder pulls Timore back to his feet. Timore tries to fight back with body shots but Ryder clubs him across the back, knocking him to his knees. Ryder pulls him back up and lifts him into a vertical suplex. He stalls it there for several second before finishing the move. He makes another cover and gets another two count. Frustration once more clear on his face. Ryder pulls Timore up again and plants him with a pump handle slam. Another cover, this time hooking the leg but still Timore kicks out at two. Ryder is just mad this time. He gets up and starts to berate Sam Green about the speed of his counts.
The announce team note how Timore's resilience seems to be winning over the UGWC crowd. Chants of “You're-not-Dei-mos,” have been largely replaced by “Let's-go-Ti-More.”
Timore is halfway up when Ryder grabs him yet again, whips him to the ropes and hits him with a power slam on the rebound. Ryder makes the cover but Timore kicks out at one to a modest pop from the crowd. Ryder snarls as he mounts Timore, holding his head with one hand and laying into him with closed fist punches. Sam Green is forced to pull Ryder away and admonish him for the illegal strikes. Ryder pushes past him and grabs Timore. Ryder goes for a power bomb but as he lifts Timore onto his shoulders the Manifestation of Panic starts dropping elbows onto Ryder's forehead. Ryder stumbles and Timore drops back into a Frankensteiner. The crowd cheer. As Ryder gets up Timore hits him with a flying cross chop. Ryder quickly gets back to his feet only to be launched into the corner with a running dropkick. Timore backs up and hits a running back elbow. Ryder slumps in the corner and Timore drags him out, letting Ryder slump to the floor and he climbs to the top turnbuckle.
The crowd are genuinely into the match now as Timore launches off the top rope with a Shooting Star Press. Only Covert Jay somehow knows Timore calls it the Asteroid Press. Ryder rolls aside while Timore is in the air though and the Manifestation of Panic hits nothing but mat.
Ryder quickly recovers and locks Timore into a Dragon Sleeper, pulling him up to his feet within the lock and arching his back so that Timore struggles to keep his toes on the ground in an attempt to alleviate the pressure. Ryder roars in anger and frustration. Despite the support of the crowd Timore can neither escape not resist the hold any longer and taps out. The bell rings and Ryder unceremoniously dumps Timore onto the ground.
The crowd boo as Mitchell Dennis announces Ryder the winner and new SJW Heavyweight Champion. Sam Green tries to raise Ryder's hand but he snatches it away. Claude de Rhombus enters the ring and hands Ryder the belt. He looks at it for a moment then reluctantly takes it, holding it by one end of the strap so that it drags on the floor. Ryder takes the time to collect his tracksuit jacket before making his way back up the ramp, dragging his newly won title all the way.
Winner: Duncan Ryder
Time: 6:57
Backstage, ‘Nice Class’ continues.
Hastings is glaring at Baal as the bell rings to start the match, warning him to keep his place. Baal tugs on his referee shirt and just smiles, and Pierce takes advantage of Hastings looking elsewhere and blindsides him with a forearm to the back of the head. Pierce stomps Hastings repeatedly into the mat, using the ropes for added leverage, as Baal circles and watches with his hands on his knees. Pierce pins Hastings against the bottom rope by his throat, and Hastings struggles as Baal calmly walks over and tells Pierce to get him off the ropes. Pierce continues to hold him for a few seconds anyway, before yanking him off the ropes and into a snap suplex, floating directly into a cover that gets a one and a half count.
Pierce starts to pull Hastings back up, but Hastings uses his shoulder to drive Pierce back into a turnbuckle, and pounds on him with right hands. Baal backs Hastings up, telling him that he can’t used a closed fist, and Hastings glares at him. Hastings goes back to Pierce but gets a poke to the eyes, it goes ignored by Baal but Lieberjosch suggests that perhaps the sun was in his eyes. Pierce pulls Hastings into a rollup for a two count, they both pop to their feet, but Hastings sidesteps a right hand and pulls Pierce into a full nelson slam. Hastings winks a few times and checks his eye, and shoots another annoyed glance at Baal before dropping Pierce with a Facebreaker DDT. Hastings hooks the leg for a cover, but Baal appears to be trying to look underneath Pierce despite him lying flat on his back.
Hastings sits up and asks Baal what he thinks he is doing, and Baal explains and motions that he is checking that Hastings isn’t hooking the tights. Lieberjosch calmly points out that Baal has a point since he caught Hastings doing exactly that last month, while Vinegar screams that both of Hastings’ hands were blatantly visible during the cover.
Hastings gets to his feet and calls Baal out on his behavior, but Baal again tugs on his shirt and insists he is just doing his job. Pierce grabs Hastings from behind, but Hastings stuns him with a back elbow. Hastings off the ropes but Pierce counters into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Pierce steps through the ropes and climbs the turnbuckle, but Hastings stumbles to his feet and shakes the ropes, and Pierce tumbles into the ring and slumps in the corner. Hastings uses the ropes to steady himself and begins stomping him down, but Baal again separates them, and a frustrated Hastings shoves him away. Baal flies backwards and rolls over twice before tumbling under the bottom rope and out of the ring.
Vinegar comments that Baal is being dramatic, and Lieberjosch reminds him that Hastings is a 5-Time champ and Baal has only been back in action for a few weeks and it’s totally credible. Hastings watches Baal tumble from the ring and glances at Pierce before waving towards the stage. Hastings pulls Pierce out of the corner, but Pierce catches him with a knee to the chest. Pierce lifts him into a fireman’s carry, looking for Signing Off, but Hastings floats off the back as Owen Peterson runs out from backstage with a referee shirt on. Hastings lifts Pierce into Destiny’s Call and covers as Peterson slides into the ring and counts the three.
Winner: Donovan Hastings
Time: 7:41
Hastings walks up the ramp with Peterson as Baal is shown sitting at ringside with a smile on his face.
Backstage, Mandatory Niceness lessons continue.
Backstage, Maleek meets with Konrad Raab ahead of their match.
All four individuals make their separate arrivals, and Vinegar and Jay are befuddled at the fact that Maleek is dressed as Kenzi Grey. The good doctor explains that it is in the contract that Maleek signed with Kenzi, and even though he obviously hates having to wear what he has on, he’s being a good soldier because it’s the right thing to do. Jay then comments that it’s a good thing Maleek was born a man, because if not, that’s a face only a mother could love. I’ve never heard Hans actually agree with Jay as emphatically as he did after that remark.
Tempest and Konrad start things off, with Raab gaining the early advantage with a side headlock. Tempest shoves him off towards the ropes, missing a lariat as Konrad ducks under. Raab isn’t able to evade a back elbow as he returns towards Tempest though, and he hits the mat hard. Tempest then comes off the side ropes and connects with a basement dropkick. He quickly covers, but Konrad kicks out at one.
Raab slowly to his feet now, the two men staring down one another, as Maleek begins jumping up and down on the ring apron. Raab looks over in time to see Maleek pull the ‘Black Ice’ mask out of his top (#shudderatthatvisual), urging Konrad to put it on, but the German hero emphatically refuses. He turns back towards Tempest in time to eat a kick to the stomach. Tempest lifts him up onto his shoulders, only to spike him into the mat with a rolling death valley driver, driving the air from the lungs of Konrad. Tempest with another cover, but Raab again kicks out at one.
Tempest quickly back to his feet and heads towards the ropes, but Maleek clubs him in the back of the head, dropping him like a sack of potatoes. Raab saw what happened as he was getting back to his feet, and again Maleek is yelling at him to put on the mask. Again Konrad refuses, further irritating his partner. Raab waits for Tempest to get to his feet, before peppering him with stiff left jabs, before flooring him with a right cross. Tempest using the ropes to pull himself to his feet, but is damn near knocking over the top rope by a vicious European Uppercut from Konrad Raab. Before Konrad can continue his offense, Maleek reaches out and tags himself into the match.
Maleek again is yelling at Konrad to put the mask on, but Raab again refuses. Angered, Maleek takes the mask and throws it into the crowd, before making a beeline across the ring and blasting his wife with a vicious forearm that sends her flying off the apron and crashing into the steel guardrail. He’s all smiles as he glares down at her, and doesn’t see Tempest coming up from behind him. A clothesline knocks Maleek over the top rope and out to the floor. Tempest heading towards the far ropes now, returning and taking flight, jumping over the top rope and connecting with a corkscrew plancha that Maleek never saw coming. Tempest quickly checks on his partner who assures him she is fine, before dragging Maleek to his feet and shoving him back inside of the ring. Tempest slides in and executes a standing shooting star press, hooking the leg but only managing to get a two count before Maleek kicks out.
Maria screaming for the tag, and after a moment of staring at her, Tempest reluctantly agrees. Salvatore into the ring now as Maleek is getting to his feet, and she sends him to the mat with a spinning heel kick. Maleek back to his feet, but Maria is waiting on him, and sends him back to the mat with an arm drag. Maleek back up, but again is sent to the mat with a dropkick. Maria mounts Maleek and begins raining down slaps with both hands, Maleek doing his best to cover up. Damn girl is like a hellcat, and ultimately Sam Green has to physically pull her off of her husband. She turns her rage towards the official now, yelling and screaming at the top of her lungs, as Tempest smiles from the ring apron. Apparently he likes crazy. Who knew, amirite?
Maria finally turns to focus back on her baby daddy, but he is up and waiting for her and lifts her high into the air with a military press, before dropping her on her face. At one time I might have thought about doing similar to my ex, but I digress. Maleek grabs her by the hair and yanks her to her feet. A boot to the gut doubles her over, and then she finds herself lifted high into the air, before all the air is driven out of her lungs with a thunderous powerbomb. Maleek makes the cover, but Tempest breaks up the pin attempt at two.
Maleek rolls his wife over onto her stomach, eliciting a crude remark about something he saw on the internet the other night, but what happens next definitely wasn’t something he saw during whatever smutfest he was involved in. At least I hope not. Maleek begins repeatedly driving his knee into the lower back of Maria, before yanking her back to her feet and shooting her towards the ropes. Spinebuster from Maleek, and then he rolls her back over onto her stomach and applies a camel clutch. Before he can break her back though, Sam Green begins attempting to pull him off of her, finally succeeding. Maleek is incensed, demanding to know what the hell is going on.
From the back, a member of UGWC security is struggling to carry a person who looks to be Kenzi Grey down to the ring. The Global-Tron fires to life, Old Lady Levene’s face looking down at everyone in the ring, judgingly. She explains that earlier in the week she had an edict tweeted out that Kenzi would be stripped of her Chaos Championship if she used a proxy, however, she has decided not to strip Kenzi. She’s just planning on making the decision FOR Kenzii Grey, since Kenzi apparently is unable to make good decisions on her own. She orders the match to be reset, which I honestly have no idea what that even means, but she’s old, so I’m fine with it.
Sam Green is telling Kenzi that she needs to get into the ring, but she is absolutely refusing to do so, standing out on the floor with her arms crossed over her chest. Konrad shrugs and hops down to the floor, tagging Kenzi, as Maleek glares down at his wife. Raab back into the ring now, telling Maleek to step out. Neither man sees Tempest get into the ring and help Maria to her feet. Double dropkick sends Raab into the corner and Maleek out of the ring, where he lands next to Kenzi. Back in the ring, Maria drops an elbow across the chest of Konrad, while Tempest takes off running towards the far ropes. Bouncing off of them he returns, hopping up onto the top rope, before springboarding off and taking both Maleek and Kenzi off their feet with a moonsault. Maria makes the cover on Konrad, but he kicks up at two.
Kenzi and Maleek are side-by-side as they slowly get to their feet, and Maria reaches through the ropes and grabs one of them by the hair. She’s screaming Maleek’s name as she is trying to drag him back into the ring, but realizes that it is Kenzi who she has a hold of. Maria releases her hair, and then Kenzi begins having a complete meltdown about the company and how she isn’t respected by anyone, from the old bag making the decisions, all the way down to the idiot who can’t tell the difference between Kenzi and her husband.
As Tempest gets back to his feet holding the small of his back, Kenzi Grey kicks his lights out with a superkick. With Sam Green watching that happen, Maleek drills Maria with an uppercut that leaves her glassy eyed and woozy. Maria stumbles backwards and turns around, only to have Konrad Raab connect with a spear. He then waits for her to get to her feet, and when she finally does, he ends her night with The Iceinator.
Winners: Kenzi Grey and Konrad Raab
Time: 9:23
Backstage, Gabriel Baal meets with Old Lady Levene.
It is announced that as a part of The Mandatory Kindness lessons mandated by Old Lady Levene Johnny Bonecrusher will be accompanying Sloane Taylor tonight, he looks less than pleased as he comes down the ramp, remarking that he is rarely allowed to be rinside for his actual clients matches. Sloane reminds him that constant complaining is not deemed nice in polite society. Johnny retorts that its a good thing we’re in UGWC then,
Nothing of any real note accompanies Vain’s entrance, other than the lack of Cooperative Partner Travis Roberts. Commentary takes a moment to note that Sloane is one of three choices to join Angelica Vaughn in a title match against the champions at in Your Hands.
Neither Sloane nor Wallace willing to start that match at a great tempo and the opening moments are a lot of feeling out, each jockeying for position and reversing the others holds. While the early exchanges Vain comes out marginally on top, as the too-ing and fro-ing goes on Sloane begins to end up on top. While no major damage is inflicted on either, Wallace’s frustrations come to a head when he pokes Sloane in the eye while the ref is out of position. This causes JBC to leap up onto the canvas and protest wildly at the injustice, which causes to distract the referee, But Soane manages to cartwheel out of the way of an attempted low blow from Wallace and then hits him with s superkick.
JBC drops back to the apron and Sloane shoots him a glare for his distraction before turning her attention back to Wallace, and she manages to keep him grounded with some swift kicks. However Vain eventually grabs her leg and sends her to the canvas, before working away on her leg with a number of stomps, doing his best to limit her ability to keep up her high paced offence.
Sloane however manages to reverse a clothesline attempt into a crucifix pin which gets her a two count and rattles Vain enough for her to hit the Silver Lining. She starts to climb the ropes but is yanked down by the hair by Wallace.
Taylor surprises Vain by kipping up almost immediately and then she hits the Pipe Dream and goes for the cover. Unfortunately this also took JBC by surprise as he is on the canvas arguing with the official about the earlier har pull, and by the tim he notices what has happened and removes himself from the apron Slaone has already been in the covering position for a few moments, and when the referee eventually gets down to make the count Wallace is able to kick out at two.
Sloane is unhappy with Johnny to say the least, and she explains loudly that this is why his interfering ways need correcting. Before Johnny can protest the distraction gives Wallace the chance to hit The Money Maker and get the three count.
Winner: Alan Wallace
Time: 6:34
Sloane is frustrated after the match, but Old Lady Levene appears on the Globotron and announces that she has been elected by the fans to be Angie’s partner at In Your Hands.
UGWC Anniversary Flashback of the Week: Donovan Hastings and Moss Edwards have a spirited debate.
Sarah enters first with Thunder lumbering along behind her. Talk about a study in contrast. She looks like she should be riding him down to the ring like a mount instead of leading him down. Then again, maybe she’s afraid that he’ll get lost. He does seem like the kind of guy who would find a cul-de-sac perplexing. They make their way to the ring with a decidedly mixed reaction and once they get there, she orders him to lift her up and place her onto the apron, which he does. Her minions are nothing, if not obedient. Glenn Burke checks them both, which the World Champion spends the entire time complaining about. She makes sure to repeatedly remind him of who she is, which he suffers with dignity. We appreciate your efforts, Glenn.
“Deathwish” is the next enter and he does so as he normally does, with chains flying. Johnny wisely keeps his distance. As do the fans, who boo him lustily. Hide does come perilously close to whacking a few of them, but manages to make it to the ring without incurring and lawsuits and makes sure to swing his chains around for the World Champion and her rather large minion to see up close. Thunder takes a few swats at them before Sarah pulls him back into their corner. Johnny finally gets Hide under “control” and makes sure to flash an obnoxious smile at Sarah in the process.
Angelica enters last and the fans nearly blow the roof off of the arena with their raucous cheering. You’d think that she’d be used to this by now, but she responds to it with the obvious gratitude that she always greets it with. She marches to the ring, making sure to slap hands with as many hands as she can on the way down. In the ring, her “partner” stalks back and forth being himself while Johnny divides his time between mocking Sarah and ordering Angelica to get to the ring faster. It doesn’t change anything. She takes her time and soaks in the adoration. For her part, Sarah looks conflicted between her normal trash talking and just watching her sister come to ringside. Angelica finally reaches the ring, smiles nicely at Johnny because she’s Angie and then enters the ring to a massive cheer. She chats pleasantly with Glenn as he checks her.
Once he’s done, she turns to begin the match, but Hide roughly slaps her on the shoulder as Johnny tells her to get out on the apron. She politely does so as Thunder steps in. What proceeds from there is most easily described as a “slugfest” as the two men try to beat each other into the mat. It begins with a mutual show of enthusiasm for pummeling each other as they trade punches as if the world is going to end if they don’t. Thunder gets the early advantage after Hide swings wildly for his head, misses (somehow) and Thunder picks him up and dumps him onto his head with a reverse DDT. He follows it up with a splash, which appears that it should squash Hide through the mat because he weighs almost four-hundred pounds.
Thunder peels him off of the mat and suplexes him across the ring. Then does it again. Then a third time and a fourth time. He drops Hide with a savate kick that leaves him flat on the mat. Hide looks a little flatter after a running senton splash. Thunder pulls him up and goes for the pin, but Sarah barks at him to tag her in. Thunder tags her in and she darts in and goes for the pin, but Hide kicks out. She yells at Thunder for not doing “enough”, then walks over and tags him back in. He steps over the rope without a word and goes to resume attacking Hide, but “Deathwish” springs up and drives his head into the larger man’s chin. Thunder stumbles backwards and collapses into his own corer, much to Sarah’s exasperation. Hide follows him in with a good ol fashioned facewash, then drives a knee into his face for good measure. Sarah takes a swat at him, which does nothing other than momentarily confuse him before he swings back.
Of course Sarah barks at Glenn about this. Glenn does his job and moves Hide back to center ring before he casts an look at Sarah that tells her that he’s already weary of her shenanigans. He turns back to Johnny and admonishes him as he yells something at him. Sarah leans over and slaps Thunder on the chest, then darts at Hide takes him down with a chop block. She proceeds to unload on him with palm strikes and kicks that slowly drive him back into the corner as he tries to get back to his feet. Once he’s there she barrages him with kicks until he’s collapsed into the corner again. She drives both feet into him with a dropkick that she follows up with so many stomps that one could mistake her for a dance instructor.
She goes for “The Mark of Cain”, but is nearly taken out of her boots by a sudden clothesline from the Japanese destroyer. This leaves both of them flat on the mat. Angelica slaps the top turnbuckle pad to lead Hide over to her, not that she needs to as Johnny is yelling at him like he’s calling Bingo in a hurricane. Meanwhile Thunder stands in his corner with his arm outstretched. The man’s not one for conversation, but he’s got the gist of things.
Sarah gets to her feet first and goes to attack Hide, but freezes when he leaps to his corner and tags Angelica in. She enters and the fans explode in cheers as they think they’re going to get an early preview of the upcoming World Championship match. That cheer it cut off as Sarah promptly turns and tags Thunder back in before she smiles sweetly at her sister. Angelica momentarily looks disappointed before she turns her focus on Thunder. What comes next is a full and detailed clinic on why she was World Champion for six months. She kicks it into high gear and soon has the larger man reeling before she drops him face first into the turnbuckle with a drop toe hold. Covert Jay opines that the neck “isn’t meant to bend that way” after she crashes into his back with a cannonball.
The big man eventually picks himself up and staggers out of the corner, only for the former World Champion to lock him into a rear naked choke. Sar breaks it up with a kick to the back but is bowled over by a charging Hide, who knocks them both from the ring. Thunder recovers in time to see his boss/ master fall from the ring, but not in enough time to avoid a “Vaughnemous” from Angelica. The kicks drops him on his face on the mat, but it doesn’t flip him over. Angelica backs up to kick him one more time and looks very displeased that she has to do so. Thunder shakes his head and pulls himself to his elbows again. Angie drills him in the side of his head with another “Vaughnemous” and this time it’s enough to put his lights out for the three.
Winners: Angelica Vaughn and Hide Yamazaki
Time: 16:54
The match has barely ended before Dave Rydell appears out of the crowd, blindsiding Sarah and knocking her into a ringpost before sliding into the ring and laying the boots to Redd Thunder. Security and officials rush the ring and Rydell is escorted backstage.
End Show
Championship Roll Call:
World Heavyweight Champion: Sarah Grey-Lacklan
Cross-Hemisphere Champion: Phrixus Deimos
Cooperative Champions: Alan Wallace & Travis Roberts
Chaos Champion: Kenzi Grey-Lacklan
Your Synergy coverage begins, now…
- Vinegar, Hans, and Jay give us the usual intro that transitions into childish bickering. [/CopyPaste]
Before we get underway, we go backstage where Mandatory Niceness lessons have begun.
Heavyweight Championship Contest
'Voodoo Child'
Duncan Ryder saunters out onto the stage. Despite the lack of discernible response from the crowd he still takes the time to pose before casually making his way to the ring.
The announcers voice their confusion as what is actually going on here as Sarah Grey-Lacklan is not scheduled or expected to appear until the main event.
Ryder climbs up the steps and into the ring. He strips off his tracksuit jacket and tosses it aside before flexing in the middle of the ring like he's in a bodybuilding contest. His music stops and an awkward quiet falls over the arena. Everyone tenses for a second as a figure appears on the stage but it is only Todd the Intern. He looks distinctly uncomfortable in front of the crowd and sprints down to the ring. He climbs in and hands Mitchell Dennis and memo before sliding out of the ring and handing a copy to the announce team as well. His job done he quickly makes his escape.
The sounds of Gothic Gregorian chanting fills the arena. A man walks out onto the stage in facepaint and a black hooded dressing gown, his shabby appearance looking deeply out of place in the high value production of the UGWC arena.
Mitchell Dennis introduces him. The Supreme Jersey Wrestling Heavyweight Champion, The Manifestation of Panic, Phobos Timore.
Three guys in the crowd who follow SJW go nuts.
The announcers explain to the viewers at home that Todd passed them a memo from Robert Ooley, declaring that Duncan Ryder will be participating in this special cross promotional contest and challenging for the SJW Heavyweight Championship.
Phobos Timore makes his own subdued entrance. A chant of “You're-not-Dei-mos,” gets picked up by many in attendance. In the ring Ryder is incensed, pacing wildly, yelling at Mitchell Dennis who holds his hands up, protesting his own innocence as he climbs out of the ring.
Timore goes to climb into the ring between the ropes but Ryder has had enough and pounces on him halfway through, grabbing him by the hood of his dressing gown and dragging him into the centre of the ring. He starts laying boots into Timore, preventing him from being able to get to his feet. Timore tries to scramble away but Ryder keeps pulling him back using different parts of the gown, forcing Timore to desperately shrug and wriggle his way out of it. He's eventually successful, leaving Ryder holding the gown which he throws out of the ring in disgust.
Timore manages to get to a corner and starts pulling himself up, still being stomped the whole time. He reaches his feet regardless and takes several hard forearm shots to the face. Ryder then drops and hits him with a trio of hard shoulder thrusts to the abdomen. Ryder pulls him into the centre of the ring and hits him with a big short-arm lariat. He takes a second to look out into the crowd before making a lazy cover. He gets a two count which visibly annoys him.
Vinegar remarks that Ryder looks like he's getting complacent while Lieberjosch is the first person to say anything nice about him and point out that he can be, because Timore is a bum.
Ryder pulls Timore back to his feet. Timore tries to fight back with body shots but Ryder clubs him across the back, knocking him to his knees. Ryder pulls him back up and lifts him into a vertical suplex. He stalls it there for several second before finishing the move. He makes another cover and gets another two count. Frustration once more clear on his face. Ryder pulls Timore up again and plants him with a pump handle slam. Another cover, this time hooking the leg but still Timore kicks out at two. Ryder is just mad this time. He gets up and starts to berate Sam Green about the speed of his counts.
The announce team note how Timore's resilience seems to be winning over the UGWC crowd. Chants of “You're-not-Dei-mos,” have been largely replaced by “Let's-go-Ti-More.”
Timore is halfway up when Ryder grabs him yet again, whips him to the ropes and hits him with a power slam on the rebound. Ryder makes the cover but Timore kicks out at one to a modest pop from the crowd. Ryder snarls as he mounts Timore, holding his head with one hand and laying into him with closed fist punches. Sam Green is forced to pull Ryder away and admonish him for the illegal strikes. Ryder pushes past him and grabs Timore. Ryder goes for a power bomb but as he lifts Timore onto his shoulders the Manifestation of Panic starts dropping elbows onto Ryder's forehead. Ryder stumbles and Timore drops back into a Frankensteiner. The crowd cheer. As Ryder gets up Timore hits him with a flying cross chop. Ryder quickly gets back to his feet only to be launched into the corner with a running dropkick. Timore backs up and hits a running back elbow. Ryder slumps in the corner and Timore drags him out, letting Ryder slump to the floor and he climbs to the top turnbuckle.
The crowd are genuinely into the match now as Timore launches off the top rope with a Shooting Star Press. Only Covert Jay somehow knows Timore calls it the Asteroid Press. Ryder rolls aside while Timore is in the air though and the Manifestation of Panic hits nothing but mat.
Ryder quickly recovers and locks Timore into a Dragon Sleeper, pulling him up to his feet within the lock and arching his back so that Timore struggles to keep his toes on the ground in an attempt to alleviate the pressure. Ryder roars in anger and frustration. Despite the support of the crowd Timore can neither escape not resist the hold any longer and taps out. The bell rings and Ryder unceremoniously dumps Timore onto the ground.
The crowd boo as Mitchell Dennis announces Ryder the winner and new SJW Heavyweight Champion. Sam Green tries to raise Ryder's hand but he snatches it away. Claude de Rhombus enters the ring and hands Ryder the belt. He looks at it for a moment then reluctantly takes it, holding it by one end of the strap so that it drags on the floor. Ryder takes the time to collect his tracksuit jacket before making his way back up the ramp, dragging his newly won title all the way.
Winner: Duncan Ryder
Time: 6:57
~Commercial Break~
Backstage, ‘Nice Class’ continues.
Donovan Hastings vs Travis Pierce
Hastings is glaring at Baal as the bell rings to start the match, warning him to keep his place. Baal tugs on his referee shirt and just smiles, and Pierce takes advantage of Hastings looking elsewhere and blindsides him with a forearm to the back of the head. Pierce stomps Hastings repeatedly into the mat, using the ropes for added leverage, as Baal circles and watches with his hands on his knees. Pierce pins Hastings against the bottom rope by his throat, and Hastings struggles as Baal calmly walks over and tells Pierce to get him off the ropes. Pierce continues to hold him for a few seconds anyway, before yanking him off the ropes and into a snap suplex, floating directly into a cover that gets a one and a half count.
Pierce starts to pull Hastings back up, but Hastings uses his shoulder to drive Pierce back into a turnbuckle, and pounds on him with right hands. Baal backs Hastings up, telling him that he can’t used a closed fist, and Hastings glares at him. Hastings goes back to Pierce but gets a poke to the eyes, it goes ignored by Baal but Lieberjosch suggests that perhaps the sun was in his eyes. Pierce pulls Hastings into a rollup for a two count, they both pop to their feet, but Hastings sidesteps a right hand and pulls Pierce into a full nelson slam. Hastings winks a few times and checks his eye, and shoots another annoyed glance at Baal before dropping Pierce with a Facebreaker DDT. Hastings hooks the leg for a cover, but Baal appears to be trying to look underneath Pierce despite him lying flat on his back.
Hastings sits up and asks Baal what he thinks he is doing, and Baal explains and motions that he is checking that Hastings isn’t hooking the tights. Lieberjosch calmly points out that Baal has a point since he caught Hastings doing exactly that last month, while Vinegar screams that both of Hastings’ hands were blatantly visible during the cover.
Hastings gets to his feet and calls Baal out on his behavior, but Baal again tugs on his shirt and insists he is just doing his job. Pierce grabs Hastings from behind, but Hastings stuns him with a back elbow. Hastings off the ropes but Pierce counters into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Pierce steps through the ropes and climbs the turnbuckle, but Hastings stumbles to his feet and shakes the ropes, and Pierce tumbles into the ring and slumps in the corner. Hastings uses the ropes to steady himself and begins stomping him down, but Baal again separates them, and a frustrated Hastings shoves him away. Baal flies backwards and rolls over twice before tumbling under the bottom rope and out of the ring.
Vinegar comments that Baal is being dramatic, and Lieberjosch reminds him that Hastings is a 5-Time champ and Baal has only been back in action for a few weeks and it’s totally credible. Hastings watches Baal tumble from the ring and glances at Pierce before waving towards the stage. Hastings pulls Pierce out of the corner, but Pierce catches him with a knee to the chest. Pierce lifts him into a fireman’s carry, looking for Signing Off, but Hastings floats off the back as Owen Peterson runs out from backstage with a referee shirt on. Hastings lifts Pierce into Destiny’s Call and covers as Peterson slides into the ring and counts the three.
Winner: Donovan Hastings
Time: 7:41
Hastings walks up the ramp with Peterson as Baal is shown sitting at ringside with a smile on his face.
Backstage, Mandatory Niceness lessons continue.
~Commercial Break~
Backstage, Maleek meets with Konrad Raab ahead of their match.
Kenzi Gray and Konrad Raab vs Tempest and Maria Salvatore
All four individuals make their separate arrivals, and Vinegar and Jay are befuddled at the fact that Maleek is dressed as Kenzi Grey. The good doctor explains that it is in the contract that Maleek signed with Kenzi, and even though he obviously hates having to wear what he has on, he’s being a good soldier because it’s the right thing to do. Jay then comments that it’s a good thing Maleek was born a man, because if not, that’s a face only a mother could love. I’ve never heard Hans actually agree with Jay as emphatically as he did after that remark.
Tempest and Konrad start things off, with Raab gaining the early advantage with a side headlock. Tempest shoves him off towards the ropes, missing a lariat as Konrad ducks under. Raab isn’t able to evade a back elbow as he returns towards Tempest though, and he hits the mat hard. Tempest then comes off the side ropes and connects with a basement dropkick. He quickly covers, but Konrad kicks out at one.
Raab slowly to his feet now, the two men staring down one another, as Maleek begins jumping up and down on the ring apron. Raab looks over in time to see Maleek pull the ‘Black Ice’ mask out of his top (#shudderatthatvisual), urging Konrad to put it on, but the German hero emphatically refuses. He turns back towards Tempest in time to eat a kick to the stomach. Tempest lifts him up onto his shoulders, only to spike him into the mat with a rolling death valley driver, driving the air from the lungs of Konrad. Tempest with another cover, but Raab again kicks out at one.
Tempest quickly back to his feet and heads towards the ropes, but Maleek clubs him in the back of the head, dropping him like a sack of potatoes. Raab saw what happened as he was getting back to his feet, and again Maleek is yelling at him to put on the mask. Again Konrad refuses, further irritating his partner. Raab waits for Tempest to get to his feet, before peppering him with stiff left jabs, before flooring him with a right cross. Tempest using the ropes to pull himself to his feet, but is damn near knocking over the top rope by a vicious European Uppercut from Konrad Raab. Before Konrad can continue his offense, Maleek reaches out and tags himself into the match.
Maleek again is yelling at Konrad to put the mask on, but Raab again refuses. Angered, Maleek takes the mask and throws it into the crowd, before making a beeline across the ring and blasting his wife with a vicious forearm that sends her flying off the apron and crashing into the steel guardrail. He’s all smiles as he glares down at her, and doesn’t see Tempest coming up from behind him. A clothesline knocks Maleek over the top rope and out to the floor. Tempest heading towards the far ropes now, returning and taking flight, jumping over the top rope and connecting with a corkscrew plancha that Maleek never saw coming. Tempest quickly checks on his partner who assures him she is fine, before dragging Maleek to his feet and shoving him back inside of the ring. Tempest slides in and executes a standing shooting star press, hooking the leg but only managing to get a two count before Maleek kicks out.
Maria screaming for the tag, and after a moment of staring at her, Tempest reluctantly agrees. Salvatore into the ring now as Maleek is getting to his feet, and she sends him to the mat with a spinning heel kick. Maleek back to his feet, but Maria is waiting on him, and sends him back to the mat with an arm drag. Maleek back up, but again is sent to the mat with a dropkick. Maria mounts Maleek and begins raining down slaps with both hands, Maleek doing his best to cover up. Damn girl is like a hellcat, and ultimately Sam Green has to physically pull her off of her husband. She turns her rage towards the official now, yelling and screaming at the top of her lungs, as Tempest smiles from the ring apron. Apparently he likes crazy. Who knew, amirite?
Maria finally turns to focus back on her baby daddy, but he is up and waiting for her and lifts her high into the air with a military press, before dropping her on her face. At one time I might have thought about doing similar to my ex, but I digress. Maleek grabs her by the hair and yanks her to her feet. A boot to the gut doubles her over, and then she finds herself lifted high into the air, before all the air is driven out of her lungs with a thunderous powerbomb. Maleek makes the cover, but Tempest breaks up the pin attempt at two.
Maleek rolls his wife over onto her stomach, eliciting a crude remark about something he saw on the internet the other night, but what happens next definitely wasn’t something he saw during whatever smutfest he was involved in. At least I hope not. Maleek begins repeatedly driving his knee into the lower back of Maria, before yanking her back to her feet and shooting her towards the ropes. Spinebuster from Maleek, and then he rolls her back over onto her stomach and applies a camel clutch. Before he can break her back though, Sam Green begins attempting to pull him off of her, finally succeeding. Maleek is incensed, demanding to know what the hell is going on.
From the back, a member of UGWC security is struggling to carry a person who looks to be Kenzi Grey down to the ring. The Global-Tron fires to life, Old Lady Levene’s face looking down at everyone in the ring, judgingly. She explains that earlier in the week she had an edict tweeted out that Kenzi would be stripped of her Chaos Championship if she used a proxy, however, she has decided not to strip Kenzi. She’s just planning on making the decision FOR Kenzii Grey, since Kenzi apparently is unable to make good decisions on her own. She orders the match to be reset, which I honestly have no idea what that even means, but she’s old, so I’m fine with it.
Sam Green is telling Kenzi that she needs to get into the ring, but she is absolutely refusing to do so, standing out on the floor with her arms crossed over her chest. Konrad shrugs and hops down to the floor, tagging Kenzi, as Maleek glares down at his wife. Raab back into the ring now, telling Maleek to step out. Neither man sees Tempest get into the ring and help Maria to her feet. Double dropkick sends Raab into the corner and Maleek out of the ring, where he lands next to Kenzi. Back in the ring, Maria drops an elbow across the chest of Konrad, while Tempest takes off running towards the far ropes. Bouncing off of them he returns, hopping up onto the top rope, before springboarding off and taking both Maleek and Kenzi off their feet with a moonsault. Maria makes the cover on Konrad, but he kicks up at two.
Kenzi and Maleek are side-by-side as they slowly get to their feet, and Maria reaches through the ropes and grabs one of them by the hair. She’s screaming Maleek’s name as she is trying to drag him back into the ring, but realizes that it is Kenzi who she has a hold of. Maria releases her hair, and then Kenzi begins having a complete meltdown about the company and how she isn’t respected by anyone, from the old bag making the decisions, all the way down to the idiot who can’t tell the difference between Kenzi and her husband.
As Tempest gets back to his feet holding the small of his back, Kenzi Grey kicks his lights out with a superkick. With Sam Green watching that happen, Maleek drills Maria with an uppercut that leaves her glassy eyed and woozy. Maria stumbles backwards and turns around, only to have Konrad Raab connect with a spear. He then waits for her to get to her feet, and when she finally does, he ends her night with The Iceinator.
Winners: Kenzi Grey and Konrad Raab
Time: 9:23
~Commercial Break~
Backstage, Gabriel Baal meets with Old Lady Levene.
Alan Wallace vs Sloane Taylor
It is announced that as a part of The Mandatory Kindness lessons mandated by Old Lady Levene Johnny Bonecrusher will be accompanying Sloane Taylor tonight, he looks less than pleased as he comes down the ramp, remarking that he is rarely allowed to be rinside for his actual clients matches. Sloane reminds him that constant complaining is not deemed nice in polite society. Johnny retorts that its a good thing we’re in UGWC then,
Nothing of any real note accompanies Vain’s entrance, other than the lack of Cooperative Partner Travis Roberts. Commentary takes a moment to note that Sloane is one of three choices to join Angelica Vaughn in a title match against the champions at in Your Hands.
Neither Sloane nor Wallace willing to start that match at a great tempo and the opening moments are a lot of feeling out, each jockeying for position and reversing the others holds. While the early exchanges Vain comes out marginally on top, as the too-ing and fro-ing goes on Sloane begins to end up on top. While no major damage is inflicted on either, Wallace’s frustrations come to a head when he pokes Sloane in the eye while the ref is out of position. This causes JBC to leap up onto the canvas and protest wildly at the injustice, which causes to distract the referee, But Soane manages to cartwheel out of the way of an attempted low blow from Wallace and then hits him with s superkick.
JBC drops back to the apron and Sloane shoots him a glare for his distraction before turning her attention back to Wallace, and she manages to keep him grounded with some swift kicks. However Vain eventually grabs her leg and sends her to the canvas, before working away on her leg with a number of stomps, doing his best to limit her ability to keep up her high paced offence.
Sloane however manages to reverse a clothesline attempt into a crucifix pin which gets her a two count and rattles Vain enough for her to hit the Silver Lining. She starts to climb the ropes but is yanked down by the hair by Wallace.
Taylor surprises Vain by kipping up almost immediately and then she hits the Pipe Dream and goes for the cover. Unfortunately this also took JBC by surprise as he is on the canvas arguing with the official about the earlier har pull, and by the tim he notices what has happened and removes himself from the apron Slaone has already been in the covering position for a few moments, and when the referee eventually gets down to make the count Wallace is able to kick out at two.
Sloane is unhappy with Johnny to say the least, and she explains loudly that this is why his interfering ways need correcting. Before Johnny can protest the distraction gives Wallace the chance to hit The Money Maker and get the three count.
Winner: Alan Wallace
Time: 6:34
Sloane is frustrated after the match, but Old Lady Levene appears on the Globotron and announces that she has been elected by the fans to be Angie’s partner at In Your Hands.
~Commercial Break~
UGWC Anniversary Flashback of the Week: Donovan Hastings and Moss Edwards have a spirited debate.
Sarah Lacklan and Thunder vs Angelica Vaughn and Hide Yamazaki
Sarah enters first with Thunder lumbering along behind her. Talk about a study in contrast. She looks like she should be riding him down to the ring like a mount instead of leading him down. Then again, maybe she’s afraid that he’ll get lost. He does seem like the kind of guy who would find a cul-de-sac perplexing. They make their way to the ring with a decidedly mixed reaction and once they get there, she orders him to lift her up and place her onto the apron, which he does. Her minions are nothing, if not obedient. Glenn Burke checks them both, which the World Champion spends the entire time complaining about. She makes sure to repeatedly remind him of who she is, which he suffers with dignity. We appreciate your efforts, Glenn.
“Deathwish” is the next enter and he does so as he normally does, with chains flying. Johnny wisely keeps his distance. As do the fans, who boo him lustily. Hide does come perilously close to whacking a few of them, but manages to make it to the ring without incurring and lawsuits and makes sure to swing his chains around for the World Champion and her rather large minion to see up close. Thunder takes a few swats at them before Sarah pulls him back into their corner. Johnny finally gets Hide under “control” and makes sure to flash an obnoxious smile at Sarah in the process.
Angelica enters last and the fans nearly blow the roof off of the arena with their raucous cheering. You’d think that she’d be used to this by now, but she responds to it with the obvious gratitude that she always greets it with. She marches to the ring, making sure to slap hands with as many hands as she can on the way down. In the ring, her “partner” stalks back and forth being himself while Johnny divides his time between mocking Sarah and ordering Angelica to get to the ring faster. It doesn’t change anything. She takes her time and soaks in the adoration. For her part, Sarah looks conflicted between her normal trash talking and just watching her sister come to ringside. Angelica finally reaches the ring, smiles nicely at Johnny because she’s Angie and then enters the ring to a massive cheer. She chats pleasantly with Glenn as he checks her.
Once he’s done, she turns to begin the match, but Hide roughly slaps her on the shoulder as Johnny tells her to get out on the apron. She politely does so as Thunder steps in. What proceeds from there is most easily described as a “slugfest” as the two men try to beat each other into the mat. It begins with a mutual show of enthusiasm for pummeling each other as they trade punches as if the world is going to end if they don’t. Thunder gets the early advantage after Hide swings wildly for his head, misses (somehow) and Thunder picks him up and dumps him onto his head with a reverse DDT. He follows it up with a splash, which appears that it should squash Hide through the mat because he weighs almost four-hundred pounds.
Thunder peels him off of the mat and suplexes him across the ring. Then does it again. Then a third time and a fourth time. He drops Hide with a savate kick that leaves him flat on the mat. Hide looks a little flatter after a running senton splash. Thunder pulls him up and goes for the pin, but Sarah barks at him to tag her in. Thunder tags her in and she darts in and goes for the pin, but Hide kicks out. She yells at Thunder for not doing “enough”, then walks over and tags him back in. He steps over the rope without a word and goes to resume attacking Hide, but “Deathwish” springs up and drives his head into the larger man’s chin. Thunder stumbles backwards and collapses into his own corer, much to Sarah’s exasperation. Hide follows him in with a good ol fashioned facewash, then drives a knee into his face for good measure. Sarah takes a swat at him, which does nothing other than momentarily confuse him before he swings back.
Of course Sarah barks at Glenn about this. Glenn does his job and moves Hide back to center ring before he casts an look at Sarah that tells her that he’s already weary of her shenanigans. He turns back to Johnny and admonishes him as he yells something at him. Sarah leans over and slaps Thunder on the chest, then darts at Hide takes him down with a chop block. She proceeds to unload on him with palm strikes and kicks that slowly drive him back into the corner as he tries to get back to his feet. Once he’s there she barrages him with kicks until he’s collapsed into the corner again. She drives both feet into him with a dropkick that she follows up with so many stomps that one could mistake her for a dance instructor.
She goes for “The Mark of Cain”, but is nearly taken out of her boots by a sudden clothesline from the Japanese destroyer. This leaves both of them flat on the mat. Angelica slaps the top turnbuckle pad to lead Hide over to her, not that she needs to as Johnny is yelling at him like he’s calling Bingo in a hurricane. Meanwhile Thunder stands in his corner with his arm outstretched. The man’s not one for conversation, but he’s got the gist of things.
Sarah gets to her feet first and goes to attack Hide, but freezes when he leaps to his corner and tags Angelica in. She enters and the fans explode in cheers as they think they’re going to get an early preview of the upcoming World Championship match. That cheer it cut off as Sarah promptly turns and tags Thunder back in before she smiles sweetly at her sister. Angelica momentarily looks disappointed before she turns her focus on Thunder. What comes next is a full and detailed clinic on why she was World Champion for six months. She kicks it into high gear and soon has the larger man reeling before she drops him face first into the turnbuckle with a drop toe hold. Covert Jay opines that the neck “isn’t meant to bend that way” after she crashes into his back with a cannonball.
The big man eventually picks himself up and staggers out of the corner, only for the former World Champion to lock him into a rear naked choke. Sar breaks it up with a kick to the back but is bowled over by a charging Hide, who knocks them both from the ring. Thunder recovers in time to see his boss/ master fall from the ring, but not in enough time to avoid a “Vaughnemous” from Angelica. The kicks drops him on his face on the mat, but it doesn’t flip him over. Angelica backs up to kick him one more time and looks very displeased that she has to do so. Thunder shakes his head and pulls himself to his elbows again. Angie drills him in the side of his head with another “Vaughnemous” and this time it’s enough to put his lights out for the three.
Winners: Angelica Vaughn and Hide Yamazaki
Time: 16:54
The match has barely ended before Dave Rydell appears out of the crowd, blindsiding Sarah and knocking her into a ringpost before sliding into the ring and laying the boots to Redd Thunder. Security and officials rush the ring and Rydell is escorted backstage.
End Show
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