Sentinel 01/11/09 Results

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

“I wonder if Jet even knows yet.”

This from Salem, making his way from the parking lot into the arena with KvK, Zimmermann and Nathan Korpi at his side. Klaus shrugs.

“Well, if he doesn’t, he will soon.”

Korpi looks between the two in shock.

“You mean you guys haven’t called him to let him know Jez is leaving?”

A low growl emits from Salem’s throat and Nathan wisely shuts up.

“She wouldn’t leave without saying bye.”

KvK arches an eyebrow at the sulking, masked giant.

“D’you really think so? After the mess you’ve made of things?”

Salem drops his bag and turns on KvK who drops his bag as well, but before anything can come of the dispute, Nathan jumps in between them.

“Stop fucking fighting! Goddamn it you two, do you know how pissed off she would be if you two go at it? And you have a match tonight. Fucking focus! Shit!”

Both Salem and KvK stare at Korpi as if he’s grown another head. Nathan looks angrily between them before throwing his arms up with an “I give up” look and storming off. Klaus smiles after him.

“Getting some has made the rookie grow a pair.”

Salem just grumbles and makes his way into the arena. Klaus shrugs and picks up his bag and starts to follow before something, or someone as the case may be, catches his eye. He quickly passes the bag off to Zimmermann and makes after the man.

“Exile… hey Ex, wait up!”

Exile seems not to hear him and already the door to the arena is closing behind him. KvK swears under his breath and jogs after him, throwing the door open and, seeing him turning down the hall, follows, calling to him again as he makes the turn, noticing too late that Exile has been drawn into the “good book” he always carries around. His forehead wrinkled from concentration, he nevertheless, makes the appropriate maneuvers and turns in an almost robotic way.

“How the fuck does he do that?” KvK mutters to himself before jogging on to catch up.
Exile comes to what is assumedly his dressing room. He opens the door and moves in fluidly just as KvK reaches him. KvK starts to speak but is stunned when he views a very curvy and hot blonde sitting on a desk in Exile’s dressing room.

“Hey how come you get one of th-”

Klaus stands stunned as the door comes back and closes in his face, effectively cutting off his words and a giggle emits from within. Turning, a bemused look on his face, he ponders the laugh as he makes his way to his own dressing room.

“Now where have I heard that before?”

The scene fades into the arena, and we are now live.

Vinegar: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to another exciting week of GIW action! And we promise you, this week we will have at least double the matches that we had at our pay-per-view.

Hanson: I still can’t believe I was replaced by a limey from Missouri.

Vinegar: That was only for one match, and if it makes you feel better, I’d rather commentate with you than Randrew.

DING DING!

Dennis: Ladies and Gentlemen, the opening contest is scheduled for ONE FALL!

Gimme Back My Bullets kicks in as Rigor Vaine makes his way out into the arena to a chorus of boos. His eyes are focus, set dead on the ring as he stands for a moment with his head covered in the good of the robe he wears. He then begins his stride to the ring, each step in time with the beat of the music before rolling into the ring and standing dead centre. He closes his eyes for a moment and begins to quietly talk to himself before pulling open the robe and dropping it to the ground. Legs slightly apart, he tilts his head to the ceiling of the building and begins to shout in Romanian before extending his arms at 10 and 2 o’clock.
The fans continue to boo him as the music dies down to almost nothing.

Dennis: Introducing first from....wait.....what the hell does that say? From some place in Moldova, weighing in at 279 pounds............RIGOR VAIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEE!

Vinegar: This match will feature the debut of two new additions to the GIW roster; Rigor Vaine and Exile.

Hanson: So is this guy like Russian?

Vinegar: No, he’s Moldovan.

Hanson:.....Where’s that?

Vinegar: Near Romania and Ukraine.

The cover of Hells Bells by six feet under starts to play. The lights dim with each tolling of the bell as well as any other speakers save for the music and the commentators mics. As the Guitar starts up a spot light goes to the entrance...with no one there. Continues...Spot light searches the ring. No one. From the audience themselves he arises, towering over the local ring side attendees. Jumping the railing he fights his way to the ring, knocking a few fans out of the way. He charges down Rigor and hits a huge clothesline as the bell is sounded to begin the match.

Vinegar: What a powerful clothesline!

Hanson: It only keeps that Moldovan dude down for a second though; he is right back up sand these two are just starring each other down

Vinegar: Folks, I should read out what the tape is for Exile. He is 6’5, 285 pounds. These two are the exact same height, and exile is about 6 pounds heavier. They are pretty even on the tape.

Hanson: While you were blabbing on about tapes, Rigor and Exile have just started a punch-up, Rigor getting the upper hand and sending Exile to the corner.

Vinegar: Thank-you Hanson. Rigor is definitely in control at this time. He lifts Exile up and places him on that top rope. Vaine climbing after him, and hits a huge superplex! Quick cover

ONE!

Hanson: And a kick out....too early for a cover greenie.

Vinegar: For once I agree with you, it is well too early to think he can be put away. But Rigor back into it with those vicious stomps to Exile.

Hanson: Oh wow, isn’t stomping a move we have never seen from a powerhouse before?

Vinegar: It may be a move that has been done heaps, but it is effective partner. Vaine picks Exile up, whips him to the ropes, and takes him down with a body slam. Now it appears that he’s climbing the turnbuckle, and he jumps off with an authoritive leg drop

Hanson: Hulkamainia from up high!

Vinegar: And look at that smile on Rigor’s face, he knows that he is in control of this match. He walks over to the opposite side of the ring and crouches down, waiting for Exile to get back up, he runs in, looks like he’s going for the Russian Roulette...

Hanson: HAHAHAHAHA! HE MISSED!

Vinegar: Exile with the wherewithal to move, and send his opponent through into that ring post. It looks like he may be in pain....I can’t tell.....his eyes are screwed up, but he’s smiling.

Hanson: I thought he looked like a guy who loves Bondage.

Vinegar:.....what?

Hanson: You know, where there’s that lady wearing a leather corset and they tie you up and torture you....it’s for pain addicts really...

Vinegar: Hanson, you are sick you know that?

Hanson: Whatever old man. Exile is unloading with those foot to ass type manoeuvres, whatever those are.

Vinegar: He’s kicking him.

Hanson: I knew that.

Vinegar: I’m sure you did. Exile now targeting Rigors possibly injured shoulder with those deep arm drags, now going for an arm bar and putting that knee into his back to add to the pressure......and Rigor is STILL smiling.

Hanson: See? What did I tell you? He’s a pain addict.

Vinegar: Vaine not going to submit, he slowly starts to get back to a vertical basis, and Exile dropping the elbow onto that hurt shoulder. Vaine grasping his shoulder as he turns into a devastating right hand by Exile!

Hanson: There is that dreaded fist to face move that is so prominent in his profile!

Vinegar: Exile going for the grapple now, Vaine breaks it up, AND HITS FROM MOLDOVA WITH LOVE! EXILE TAKING A HUGE SHOT TO THE JAW!

Hanson: He isn’t going for the cover; he wants to throw this guy.

Vinegar: Whip to the ropes, THE MOTHERLAND! Here’s the pin!

ONE!!!!
TWO!!!!
THREE!!!!

Dennis: Here is your winner, RIGOR VAIIIIINNNNNNEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

Vinegar: Rigor Vaine winning in a gruelling match!

Hanson: Yeah how boring was it hey?

Vinegar: That’s not what I meant Dan.

Hanson: Yes it was, just admit it.

Vinegar: I was.....oh never mind, talking to you is like talking to a piece of concrete. Although concrete probably wouldn’t be as thick as you.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: Before we go any further, I’d like to take a moment to once again welcome back my partner.

Hanson: Thanks, Nick. I appreciate that, I do.

Vinegar: You really have no idea what I went through at Distant Whispers without you.

Hanson: It was really painful.

Vinegar: You’re telling me! I had a crazy woman channeling the dead, an American hick trying to speak in a British accent, and a five time, five time, five time, five time, five time former World Champion, who just might have been the most intolerable of them all.

Hanson: I was referring to the constipation I had that day, on top of everything else. That was painful stuff.

Vinegar: Right, I missed you too.

A Dijerido is heard playing in the arena as a shot of some kangaroos bounding off into the sunset is shown on the globotron before the opening Riff for "Beds are burning" by Midnight Oil takes over the P.A. system as "the original Aboriginal" makes his way down to the ring, smiling a big smile showing blindingly white teeth. as he walks down, he highfives a couple of fans, and if he can, manages to take a peek down some hot girls tops. He slides into the ring, and does an air drum solo to the drum solo of beds are burning, before flashing another smile to the crowd and awaiting his opponent.

Mitchell: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Townsville, North Queensland Australia, weighing in at 190 lbs, the Original Aboriginal, PAUL COCKATOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Hanson: Hey, it’s that drummer from that band!

Vinegar: You mean-

Hanson: I mean exactly what I said, thank you.

Vinegar: You’re certainly back, alright.

Hanson: You know what is a fun word? Dijerido.

Vinegar: Okay?

Hanson: It reminds me, you know what is the number one condiment in America?

Vinegar: What?

Hanson: Salsa. Do you know why?

Vinegar: I don’t know why you think it is, nor why it is at all relevant.

Hanson: It’s because people like to say “salsa.”

Vinegar: Of course it is. Paul Cockatoo is in the ring, ready for singles action here tonight.

Hanson: SALSA!

A hush falls over the crowd as flames start to leap out of the stageway. beginning of the end hits the PA system, to a huge pop by the audience as "space cadet" Tim Kingsley begins to appear ot of the floor of the stage way, holding his trademark "laser gun" once he is fully out on the stage way, he lifts his head up, and shoots the "laser" triggering several fireworks around the lighting above the ring itself. Kingsley continues to walk down the ramp, saluting several people in the audience before sliding into the ring, climbing one of the turnbuckles and pretending to fire the laser out into the audience.

Mitchell: And his opponent, currently residing in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, weighing in at 221 lbs, The Space Cadet, TIMMM KINGSSSSSSSSSSLEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!

Hanson: Man, this guy is a real space cadet, isn’t he?

Vinegar: How astute. This match also marks the return to action for referee Owen Peterson, whom we’re happy to welcome back as well.

Hanson: It’s great news for NiggaNation! Can you imagine the Chief-Nigga making his march to Horizons without NiggaUno at his side? That’s blasphemy and stuff.

Vinegar: In any case, Peterson has signaled for the bell, and this match is underway. Double elbow tie-up to start the match, both men grappling for position, with Cockatoo wresting Kingsley into a hammerlock, but Kingsley manages to counter through it, he sweeps the legs out from under Cockatoo, but the Original Aboriginal rolls away.

Hanson: Kingsley is going to have to try to ground the high flier to have a chance in this match, that might be the strategy early on.

Vinegar: An astute observation, partner. Cockatoo comes back with a clothesline, but Kingsley ducks it and chops him in the chest. He whips Cockatoo into the corner, and charges in with a clothesline, before launching Cockatoo out with a monkey flip!

Hanson: He sure blasted him off out of there! You need a countdown or something before you do that!

Vinegar: Cockatoo trying to get back to his feet, he’s looking a bit disoriented after that flip, meanwhile Kingsley is on the turnbuckle, AND HE LEAPS OFF AND HITS THE UFO!!! Cover!





1!!!!!





2!!!!!




Vinegar: Cockatoo kicks out! Kingsley pulls him back up to his feet, whips him off the ropes, but Cockatoo ducks under a clothesline and explodes again off the ropes with one of his own, and it just turns Kingsley inside out and flips him over!

Hanson: He came back like a boomerang, Nick!

Vinegar: Cockatoo looking confident, and he begins air drumming. Kingsley gets back up behind him, he makes his hands into a gun shape and pretends to shoot Cockatoo.

Hanson: Back of the head! Execution style!

Vinegar: Cockatoo has no idea he’s there, and he turns around right into a powerslam! Kingsley rolls away and quickly gets back to his feet in the corner, and he climbs to the top rope. Kingsley steadies himself and leaps into the air, BUT PAUL COCKATOO MOVES OUT OF THE WAY AND KINGSLEY CRASHES TO THE MAT!

Hanson: He crashed upon re-entry! Oh, the humanity!

Vinegar: Cockatoo gets to his feet, and he kicks Kingsley in the chest, sets up a powerbomb…

Hanson: But Kingsley counters it into a sunset flip!

Vinegar: Pinning predictament!





1!!!!!





2!!!!!




Vinegar: Cockatoo kicks out!

Hanson: A narrow escape there, Nick, and all it means is additional time to wait before we see Blessed Immortality in action later.

Vinegar: You DO know they are technically opponents tonight.

Hanson: I have faith.

Vinegar: Both men to their feet, Cockatoo kicks Kingsley in the chest, looking for the Fall From Ulara, but Kingsley shoves him away into the corner! Kingsley charges quickly, and he hits a dropkick that knocks Cockatoo forward into the turnbuckle!

Hanson: Man, right in the face too.

Vinegar: Kingsley lifts Cockatoo onto the top rope, and he climbs up himself, setting up Life on Mars, BUT COCKATOO COUNTERS IT INTO AN INVERTED DDT FROM THE TOP ROPE!!!!!! He’s got the cover!!!





1!!!!!





2!!!!!





3!!!!!




Mitchell: Here is your winner, The Original Aboriginal, PAUL COCKATOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Vinegar: A great back and forth match right there, Paul Cockatoo comes away with a victory that easily could have gone the other way, and…are you applauding?

Hanson: It’s great to see Owen Peterson make it back, after what we both went through. Kudos to him.

A scream echoes through the backstage area as Lilith, who has just arrived at the arena, walks into her dressing room. The room has been torn apart, Lilith’s clothes all over the place, the walls decorated in what looks like brightly colored cave paintings, candy (Reece’s Peanut Butter jack o lanterns) wrappers and ice cream containers (half empty pumpkin pie spice blizzards from DQ) littering the floor. Lilith just stands in the doorway, her face a mixture of horror, shock, and anger. Raenius and Dirge move in behind her, having heard the scream, and peer in. Lilith finally moves into the room so the two men can get a better look. Raenius is the first to speak as Lilith turns in horror, looking about her.

“Christ, I haven’t seen a fucken room like this since…”

He trails off as he runs a finger through one of the drawings on the wall, trying to figure out what it is. As he looks at his finger and comes to the realization, another scream from Lilith lets him know that she has to. He turns to see her holding various tubes of what, at one time, may have been lipstick.

“My goddamn lipstick! Do you know how much that stuff costs? Who the fuck did this, I want their fucking head!”

Dirge chuckles behind her and she throws him a venomous look, to which he raises an eyebrow. Before she can respond they have another visitor.

A midget stands in the doorway clutching a headless chicken, looking into the room, his eyes alight with mischief and excitement.

“Bloody fucken hell, he came this way alright!”

With that, he runs off, leaving the occupants of the room to stare at each other. Lilith throws her hands up in the air.

“Alright, what the hell is going on?”

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: Welcome back, the next match is going to give us a glimpse of things to come, as one half of the Tag Team Champions, Brandon Brown, takes on one half of the Number 1 Contenders, Red Dawn, Colin Davis.

Hanson: What kind of a name is Colin anyway?

Vinegar: It’s a diminutive form of the name Nicholas.

Hanson: Eh? So it means Nicholas...ok. Strange, but even stranger is that you know that.

Vinegar: I happen to carry with me many random pieces of information.

Hanson: All of which are pretty useless.

Vinegar: I wouldn’t expect you to appreciate it.

“Living on a Prayer”

Dennis: the next match is scheduled for one fall, introducing first, from New Jersey, COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!!!

Vinegar: And here comes the newcomer, he’s been doing relatively well under the tutelage of Moss Edwards.

Hanson: What is it with people in GIW, they lose to The Blessed One and then think they have what it takes to ‘mentor’ a rising star? Seriously it was bad enough when BoolZ did it with that Tobias moron.

Vinegar: I think it’s a pretty selfless act, helping someone else make a name in the industry.

Hanson: Yeah great idea, teach the n00bs how to make the same bad decisions as Moss and Boolzian, absolutely genius thinking. Pfft.

Vinegar: What have you ever done that has been even remotely selfless, or even your guru Travis Roberts for that matter.

Hanson: both of us have done the exact same thing, we share our brilliance with the world, we don’t have to we could just lead private lives and never expose you all to our brilliance. You’re really privileged.

Vinegar: Yeah, I feel privileged.

Hanson: That’s what she said!

Vinegar: Who?

Hanson: YO MOMMA!

Vinegar: You’re absoloutly correct, where would we all be if you didn’t share such quite obviously brilliant ripostes? Sigh.

Hanson: Did you just say sigh?

Vinegar: Yes, the effort involved in actually sighing I deemed to be detrimental to the actual outcome.

“Kickstart my heart.”

Dennis: And his opponent, from Albion, Indiana, BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANDON BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWN!!!

Hanson: Bon Jovi followed by Motley Crue, I feel like I should get a perm and where makeup!

Vinegar: So a normal night for you then Dan. Brandon brown is soaking up the adulation that he receives, as ever the fans are rabidly welcoming one of their favourite GIW stars.

Hanson: They’re probably just excited that A-Kis isn’t with him, means the match might not send them into a coma.

Vinegar: They’ve always given Brandon brown one of the strongest receptions in the company, it wouldn’t be going to far to say he was GIW’s favourite son.

Hanson: Yes it would! Surely that title goes to Travis Roberts, without ‘Teh Headliner’ this place wouldn’t exist!

Vinegar: That’s debateable...

Hanson: No thats a fact! Evolution, that’s debateable...it is only a theory.

Vinegar: Do you feel that way about the theory of gravity?

Hanson: No.

Vinegar: Pity, otherwise I could have hoped you might just float the fuck away.

Hanson: Hey! You said you missed me last week, I was watching you know.

Vinegar: Sure, in comparison to Randrew, Booker T and some mental old woman who thought she was Kurt Cobain, you’re awesome. But if we could find a long term replacement I’m sure I’d have more say in it...but that’s just fantasy thinking. In reality Brandon and Colin are both ready for this matchup to get underway, and Glenn Burke signals for the bell.

Bell: Ding!

Vinegar: And Colin is straight ion the offensive, hitting Brandon Brown with a clothesline, and then when he gets back to his feet, scoops him up for a powerslam.

Hanson: Brandon wasn’t expecting such a quick start from the newcomer, who probably realsies if he’s gonna beat a two time Global Champion he’s going to have to do it quick....

Vinegar: I’d say that was a rare useful observation from yourself, Brandon brown is after all GIW’s Most Resillient....

Hanson: Blah Blah Blah, we know, most resilient superstar, you’re like a damned stuck record man...

Vinegar: Coming from you thats rich, but we don’t have time to talk about you fawning over Blessed Immortality each and every week, Brandon ducks under another clothesline attempt and keeps going, and then nails Colin on the return with a flying forearm smash...

Hanson: Colin goes down hard, and Brandon sticks the boot in when he gets to his feet as Big Red gets to his...

Vinegar: Davis manages to snatch at a leg as he gets to his feet, but Brandon is prepared, Enzirugi...that damn well nearly took Colin’s head off, he may get a case of whiplash after that...

Hanson: Brandon quickly climbs the turnbuckles, and comes down with his trademark elbow, and goes for the pin...

1...

2...

Vinegar: NO! The Classic kciks out, but Brandon isn’t done yet, he takes a few steps back...Colin gets to his feet...SUPERKI...

Hanson: NO! Davis ducks under the attempt, turns quickly grabs bBrandon round the waist, and executes a quick Belly-To-Belly suplex...

Vinegar: An important avoidance from Old School there, if Brandon had hit that we know all too well it would have been over.

Hanson: And yet now, Colin Davis has turned the match in his favour, against a former Global Champion, he must be feeling like he’s Travis Roberts right now...it must be a good moment for the boy.

Vinegar: He’s picked up Brandon now and he sends him to the ropes, and when he comes back he grounds him again with a huge boot to the face, then drops to the floor to snap on a rear headlock.

Hanson: Let’s see if Brandon is resilient enough not to pass out, to be fair though there’s not a lot going on in the skull of Brown so it may not affect him all that much.

Vinegar: Brandon Brown is one of the wiliest in ring competitors there is, as he display’s by twisting his body in such a way that he is able to hook his leg over the bottom rope, forcing Glenn burke to get in and break the hold.

Hanson: Colin releases and then gets to his feet and crosses the ring, waiting for Brandon to get to his feet, and as he does Davis uses the ropes for momentum and rushes at Brown...FLYING FOREARM SMASH!

Vinegar: That’s the first step of The Five Moves of Doom...

Hanson: he picks Brandfon up...ATOMIC DROP!

Vinegar: that;s the second, and Brandon bounces into the ropes and comes back for....

Hanson: NO! SUPERKICK! OUT OF NOWHERE!

Vinegar: And the pin.

1...

2...

3!!!

Bell: Ding, Ding, Motherfunkin’ Ding!

Dennis: here is your winner, via pinfall, BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANDOOOOOOOOOOOON BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWN!!!!

Vinegar: Once again the tremendous strength of the Brandon brown superkick is highlighted; it’s such a powerful move to have in ones arsenal.

Hanson: Well that one looked big and hard...

Vinegar: That’s what she said!

Hanson: Wh...DAMMIT!

Vinegar: Yeah, who’s the daddy now? Anyway Colin Davis gets to his feet clutching his head, not quite sure what hit him, and Brandon brown celebrates as he goes up the ramp...we#ll be right back with some tag action...

Hanson: Really? Isn’t Wayne handling the next one?

Vinegar: Good point, we will be back, if it’s Tag Action or not is a complete unknown!

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: Well, fans, here we have yet another episode in the saga between the Covenant and….Sleaze & Brewtality.

Hanson: I still say that’s the dumbest faction name I’ve ever heard.

The lights dim all over as the first riffs of Drain S.T.H.'s "Serve the Shame" break over the sound system. The lights pulse brightly, alternating between a bright white and dull green. As the tempo picks up, Lilith strolls out from the back, her hips swaying, a self-satisfied smirk evident upon her beautiful face. She pauses for a moment, her hands on her hips, allowing all in the arena a good look at her long, lean body with it's scant coverings, ready for battle. She strolls leisurely down to the ring, a somewhat bored look in her eyes belying her emotions within and hiding her calculating glances. She climbs the stairs to the ring and slowly, carefully, slips between the ropes, her body twisting and turning gracefully. She makes her way to her corner to await her match and to study the ring announcer.

Dennis: This inter-gender tag team match is set for one fall and has some kind of time limit, but won’t end up being anywhere near that long since the writer is a procrastinating piece of shit. First off, in the ring, standing five feet, seven inches tall and weighing a rather unbelievable one-hundred and twenty-three pounds….from New Orleans, Louisiana, she’s Hell on Heels, this….is….LILITH!

Vinegar: Well, my backstage sources tell me that they don’t give a damn what you think.

The lights cut to black and red and white strobe lights alternate in beat with the rapid music as “Cyanide Sweet Tooth Suicide” Starts to play. Chassie walks swiftly onto the stage, looking at the people for a moment, then as the lyrics hit she descends the ramp, breaking into a run about halfway down. When she reaches the ring she jumps, grabbing the top rope and springing herself up, flipping in the air and landing on her feet. She runs to a random turnbuckle and plants her feet on the corners of the middle turnbuckle, throwing up the horns and head banging briefly. Then she calmly jumps down and begins to stretch, waiting for her opponent with bloodlust in her eyes.

Dennis: Her tag team partner, also representing the Covenant, standing five feet, four inches tall and weighing a more realistic one-hundred and twenty pounds, from who-gives-a-fuck USA, she’s The Dark Rose, this…is…CHASSIE FEAR!

The lights through out the arena slowly fade to black and the atmosphere of the stands becomes ghastly eerie as the dim lights of a few lighters are held up from the fans who get to their feet. The lights surrounding the entrance course to a solid darkness before an abyss of hazed green shadows the arena. The sounds of whispering usher in a flood of voices and different tones then the cryptic words of "Fall Back To Zero…Come Back To Life…You Can‘t Hold Me Down, You Can‘t Hold Me Down" are heard breaking the hush as the entrance way is covered in a thick blanket of fog that rolls out over the stage as well as down the entrance way till barely anything of the ramp can be seen, save a thick green blanket of mist. The video screen lightly lit with a dim burnt film "grind house" style shows scenes of moss covered trees over hanging aged cemeteries and cypress laid swamp waters, but in the midst of every scene in the middle the camera focuses on a large, tall backed wooden throne, a massive antlered elk skull crowning the back of the chair, a raven fluttering it‘s wings seated atop one of the chairs arms. The arena is deafened with an explosion of sound as Crowbar’s "Fall Back To Zero" rips through the scene like a chainsaw to the ear drums, some who know him bobbing their heads to the music others throwing up hex symbols made with their hands as the lights around the entrance begin to pulsate and flicker in a strobe like fashion. The video appears depicting fire burning through the film and onto others all withering in flame, tarot cards falling down over the scenes and turning to ash as fall into puddles of water and the screen moves into a mix of scenes of Salem in the ring and back to flocking crows adorning the throne now bestowed with images of a man seated in it, scenes of riots, zombie movies, and visions of horror and chaos The fans stand in one and become a sea of moving chants and jeers as through the fog slowly creeps the haunting “Witch King” Salem, a series of tall emerald fires erupt in the mist behind him, burning brightly. Wearing a black and red knee length frock style coat, his head and shoulders covered by a black and white pirate flag draped over his head as a hood. He stops at the top of the ramp and watches the arena through the eyes of madness hidden behind a gray leather mask, the fires erupt once more as he begins to walk to the ring. Looking to him the fans burst into fits of cheers and boos. Salem walks to the steps and makes his way into the ring, climbing through the ropes slowly, stalking his way to the corner. The lights return to normal as he nonchalantly pulls the pirate flag from his head and disrobes his frock style coat, awaiting his opponent.

Dennis: And their opponents, first….with the longest goddamn ring entrance in the entire company, he stands six feet, eight inches tall and weighs in at three-hundred and thirteen pounds…originally from Slaughter Swamp, South Carolina…he’s Sweet Zombie Jesus, this…is…SALEM!

The intro to Metallica’s glorious, classic anthem "For Whom The Bell Tolls" hits. KvK emerges from behind the curtain, and stands upon the entryway with a plain black briefcase in his hand and a blank look upon his face. He stands there smoking, and dusts errant cigarette ash from the shoulder of his Dying Fetus “One Shot, One Kill” t-shirt.

Hanson: Looks like he’s got himself a briefcase there, any word from your sources on what this is all about?

He makes his way down the ramp, puts the briefcase on the ring apron, and pops the latches. Opening it, he reaches inside.

Vinegar: Whatever it is, I’m sure we’ll all be dumber for having seen it. This guy’s a drunken moron, and I wish his mom had gotten an abortion.

KvK pulls out a respiratory mask and puts it over his mouth and nose, adjusting the straps around his head. The crowd reaction is mixed to say the least as he pulls out a long pair of yellow latex gloves and slips them on. Finally, he pulls out a rubber butcher’s apron and drapes it over himself, tying the strings in the back. Thusly garbed in protective gear, he pushes the briefcase onto the arena floor and rolls into the ring.

Dennis: At long last, mercifully, and apparently terrified of communicable diseases, his tag team partner. He stands six feet, two inches tall and weighs in at two-hundred and thirty-eight pounds…currently residing in the suburbs of Orlando, Florida, he is Your Heroically Heroic Hero of Heroically Heroic Heroisms, this…is…KvK!

Hanson: I bet you wouldn’t say that to his face, you punk-ass bitch.

Vinegar: The referee is calling for the bell. Whew, I was starting to think we’d never get to the action!

Hanson: Just like that time you almost had to call the 1-800 number on the back of the box of Viagra, to complain that it wasn’t working.

Vinegar: God damn it, your mom said she was gonna keep that a secret.

Hanson: Looks like we’ve got Chassie Fear and KvK to start, and he doesn’t seem to happy about that.

In the ring, Chassie moves in to lock up, and KvK backs away. He adjusts his mask, then snaps at the latex gloves, trying to pull them further up his forearms.

Vinegar: It looks like he thinks she’s….unclean or something. Could it be a Swine Flu kind of deal?

Hanson: Shit, I hope not! I’ve been in a panic about that all summer long. Did you see the thing on Fox News the other da…

Vinegar: Shut up and call the match, jackass.

Back in the ring, Chassie once more tries for a collar-and-elbow tie-up, and once again KvK scurries out of the way. He tries to make a tag to Salem, who drops off the ring apron and backs away from the ring.

Hanson: Some early cohesion issues with Sleaze and Brewtality, here. Salem seems to be as confused as us about KvK’s….er….ring attire, and he’s gonna let his partner figure it out on his own.

Chassie Fear has taken advantage of the momentary distraction, running at her reluctant opponent and taking him down with a neckbreaker from behind.

Vinegar: Oh, snap! Vicious neckbreaker from Chassie Fear!

Hanson: That’ll teach him to turn his back on an opponent…

Obviously in an effort to keep KvK grounded, Chassie immediately runs to the ropes and springs off the middle one, her body flipping backwards.

Vinegar: Moonsault!

Hanson: Oooh, not so soon…

KvK gets his knees up, driving them into Chassie’s midsection as she comes crashing down. He’s on his feet in a flash, stomping her as she rolls, clutching her abdomen.

Vinegar: Now KvK on the offensive, I hope he doesn’t get SARS…

Chassie rolls out of the ring, and the referee restrains KvK from going after her. KvK’s eyes look almost relieved, and he adjusts his respiratory mask once more, backing away from the ropes to give Chassie room to re-enter the ring. Lilith makes a swipe at him from her place standing on the ring apron, but he’s able to duck away in the nick of time. At that precise moment, though, Chassie slides back into the ring an charges.

Vinegar: Little teamwork from the ladies, there!

She partially connects with a Savate Kick, driving KvK back against the ropes.

Hanson: Pretty solid plan, I thought. They’re on the negative side of quite a bit of weight and experience differential, you know.

Vinegar: That’s a good point, partner.

Chassie Fear moves in with strikes, sensing the upper hand, getting cocky. KvK rebounds off the ropes, dropping her with an STO takedown. It looks like he hits his forehead on the mat, as Chassie partially countered the move into a DDT

Hanson: Hard to tell who got the worst of that move…

Vinegar: KvK and Fear making their way to their respective corners for the tags. Salem has his hand out, but Lilith seems to be inspecting her nails.

Hanson: She noticed her!

Vinegar: Yeah… finally. And the tags are made! Lilith first in the ring and… what is she doing?

Hanson: Poor Lilith! Just looking across the ring at Salem has caused her to faint dead away!

Vinegar: Poor Lilith my foot! That was staged! Look, even Salem knows it!

Hanson: What do you mean? He’s enough to scare anyone who gets in the ring with him!

Vinegar: Be that as it may, there is no way you can tell me that wasn’t staged! For God’s sakes man, she even threw a hand over her eyes before she “fell.” She just wants an excuse to get him on top of her!

Hanson: She wouldn’t need an excuse to get me on top of-

Vinegar: Ignoring that comment, Salem isn’t falling for it and I think he knows what she’s angling at, judging from that disgusted look on his face.

Hanson: No way around it, Salem, just get it done. There’s a lot of men would love to be in your shoes right now.

Vinegar: He appears to be motioning to KvK, who seems to have regained his composure! KvK’s climbing the ropes!

Hanson: Yeah, but KvK’s not the legal man, so who cares?

Vinegar: And now he is! Salem makes a rushed tag to KvK who came flying off the ropes with an elbow drop onto Lilith!

Hanson: Ooooo that looked nasty!

Vinegar: Hook of the leg and…

1!

2!

3!

Dennis: Here’s your winners, Salem and KvK!

Hastings: Poor Lilith! She’s barely moving! Why didn’t Chassie help her?

Vinegar: Why indeed?

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Salem stands in front of the door to his dressing room, pausing before he enters to rest his head against the door and close his eyes. She’s gone.

“She can’t be gone,” he says determinedly as he opens the door, stopping short as the object of his thoughts stands up before him.

“She isn’t yet,” Jezebel Saint says softly, giving him a half-smile. Happiness and then confusion chase over Salem’s face.

“But I thought you were-” Jezebel holds up a hand to cut him off.

“Leaving? I am. Well, we are, Havyn and I. She’s a little upset because we were about to get on our plane when I said we would have to catch a later flight. There’s some things I need to take care of first.”

“Like what?” Salem’s voice comes out a little hoarse and he clears his throat.

“Well, I came with the intention of telling you all bye, but… come with us? I know it’s sudden and I understand if you don’t want to, but I can’t leave without asking. I have to know what you’ll choose.”

Salem closes his eyes and then reopens them.

“Wait, are you asking just me, or are you going to be asking the rest of the guys too? Because that’s a fucking crowd.”

Jezebel shakes her head.

“Just you.”

Salem pauses for a moment, thinking and Jezebel holds her breath.

“When do we leave?”

And for the first time in a long time, Jezebel smiles and throws herself into Salem’s arms.

“Right after we tell the others.”

Scene fades back to the arena.

Vinegar: Welcome back ladies and gentleman, we have a special treat for you all. One of our scheduled guest announcers from Distant Whispers was unable to make it, so we thought we'd invite him to help out on this match he has a connection to, and give me a break from Daniel. Here to announce the Jet Somers-Alex Kiseragi match is Brandon Brown's friend, and award-winning actor, Morgan Freeman!

Freeman: I appreciate the welcome.

Vinegar: Now, Mr Freeman is going to narrate the match as if it were a distant, life-altering memory. I will meanwhile be sitting back and collecting a paycheck for doing sudoku. You have all the notes I emailed you, Mr Freeman?

Freeman: I don't need notes. I'm God, remember?

Vinegar: Oh, right. Okay then, folks, get ready for the classiest match in GIW history!

Freeman: The crowd had grown hushed, waiting for the emergence of either man. Seconds stretch into eternity when you're just sitting. Each one the same as the last. But maybe that's just to keep our spirits from breaking down. It was the sound of drums that brought them to their feet. The man in glasses didn't tell them anything they didn't already know by heart.

Mitchell: Shit, that's my cue huh? The following match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from San Francisco California, he is one half of the GIW Tag Team Champions, The Dragon, ALEEEEX KISERAAAAAGIIII!

Freeman: The Asian came out and kicked into the air. Each thrust of his foot brought a new wave of cheers. He wouldn't dare enter into the crowd at this moment, they would have torn him apart like at the end of Perfume. Gold glistened around his waist as he strode confidently down the ramp. He rolled into the ring and accepted more affection from the throngs surrounding him. Then drums stopped, and everyone accepted that this transference of love and adoration was now ending. A haunting ballad was overtaken by aggressive energy, and a second, more squarely built man walked out into a less clear reaction. The crowd was still not clear on where this man stood, was he a hypocrite, or was he really as pure as he claimed? The announcement didn't clear anything up.

Mitchell: And his opponent, from Deep Creek Missouri, weighing in at 185 pounds, the Wild Card, JEEET SOOOMEEERRS!

Freeman: Even though they weren't completely sold on the man, the crowd knew this would be an exciting contest. The sharp metallic sound of the bell brought both men to life, and they touched their fists together, a nod to their shared background in more legitimate fighting. Jet's left foot rose swiftly and collided with Alex's side. The Asian's own left foot responded in kind, the second man's body collapsing around it but quickly recovering. They circled around each other, then traded right feet in the same manner. Now chopping at each others' chest, the sound of flesh colliding drowning out the crowd's shouting.

Crowd: Wooo! Woooo! Woooo!

Freeman: Red welts appeared on each man's chest, blood rising towards the skin. Somers reared back and sent his hand towards Alex again, this time though the man ducked under the chop, and shot out his foot. It landed squarely in Somers' gut, and he leaned forward to be met by The Dragon's kneecap. The more ring-savvy of the two combatents soaked in the appreciation of the people once again, but he found himself taken off his feet by the newer man. Jet sat upon him and rained blows onto his face with his forearms, as the black man in stripes warned him that he only had to a count of five. In Jet's past life, a five count would have been a guarantee of a win, his opponent being unable to defend himself. Here, it would be the opposite, a solid loss. He remembered this and pulled himself away.

The rest of the match proceeded in a blur. Fires lit underneath asses, I suppose. The newcomer wanting to show he wasn't a fresh fish. The veteran wanting to show why he deserved to be back in the main event again. Armdrags, armbars, headlocks, legsweeps, joint locks, kicks and chops. No wasted movements, neither man even touched the ropes, this was a test of skill, and the crowd was on their feet the entire time.

But as the final moments of the contest arrived, more of the Dragon's blows missed their marks, his grip became looser. His eyes, distant. In his mind, the same three words turned themselves over again and again. Suddenly, an opening arose, and as if by instinct, Alex lept off the ground as if being pulled by some unseen force.

Vinegar: Yari Kick! Here comes the Yari Kick! NO! Somers snatches him out of the air and applies an Ankle Lock right in the middle of the ring! Pressure being applied to the Achilles tendon and there is no place for Kiseragi to go. It is locked in tight, Jet's jujitsu training being used to its fullest. Alex does not want to tap but there is absolutely no defense for him in this position unless he can manage to drag the dead weight of Jet Somers all the way behind him to the ropes, and it certainly looks like he's going to try.

Freeman: It seemed like a magic trick to him. One moment there was only darkness in front him, and his head was driven down into the white mat by agony. When it came back up, she was standing there. A young girl appearing like an apparition, it was not so long ago but it seemed lost forever. But her face, it didn't hold love. It didn't hold anger or pleasure in his suffering. It held nothing. It was a blank slate. Even as her arm moved, the rest of her body remained static.

Vinegar: Katie Piper has thrown in a towel! Owen Peterson shrugs and calls for the bell, that's a bit unorthodox but not unprecedented I suppose, given these men's background. Somers releases the hold and stands tall over the shocked and confused Dragon. Somers trying to decide exactly how he feels about getting the win this way, we've seen how little he cares for shenanigans in the past. I guess all we can do is wait and see what happens next. I have a feeling that this rivalry is still far from over. Mr. Freeman, thank you for....oh, he left already. Um, the main event's up next?

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

“Okay, so explain to me again, why all the secrecy?”

Jezebel sighs and turns to KvK who has asked this question for what seems like the hundredth time.

“There is no secrecy, Klaus. It just makes it a lot easier if we tell you guys together rather than having to tell each of you individually. So we’re waiting for Jet.”

Nate, leaning against some lockers, nods.

“Makes sense to me.”

“Quiet rookie!” KvK’s grumpy tone brooks no argument from his protégé, who just rolls his eyes.

Salem, Jezebel, Klaus, Nathan, and Zimmermann are all sitting around Jet Somers’ dressing room, awaiting his arrival after his match. Klaus is laid out on a bench, not bothering to move to offer anyone else room to sit, the rest of the show’s events playing out again in his mind. His protégé, Nathan, leans against a locker, a preoccupied look on his face as he ponders who knows what. Salem and Jezebel are both in positions of relaxation, Jez being on the floor, Salem reclining in what is likely Jet’s chair. The only person who really looks tense is Zimmermann who is pacing back and forth. Jezebel’s eyes follow him.

“Zimmy… what’s wrong?”

Jezebel gets no answer as the big German continues his pacing. Suddenly the door opens and a tired-looking Jet Somers enters the room, a suspicious look on his face as he glances around.

“Hey Jez… uh… what are you guys doing in here?”

“Waiting for you.” KvK doesn’t even bother to look at Jet, just gives his response resignedly from the bench, already having an idea of what’s about to happen.

“Okay… I’ll ask again… why?”

“Come in and close the door, Jet,” Jezebel says, getting to her feet, but before she can say more, Salem interrupts her, holding up a hand and looking to Jet.

“Have you heard anything recently about your sister?” the big man asks.

Jet thinks for a minute before replying.

“No… should I have?”

“Told you so.” This from KvK still on the bench.

“Okay, what’s going on… Jez?” Jet looks to her, bracing himself for whatever she has to say. He still isn’t ready.

“I’m leaving, Jet. Actually, Havyn, Salem, and I are all leaving.” She looks around the room as she says this, catching the reactions of the men. Nathan just nods, as if expecting this; KvK sits bolt upright, fixing Jezebel and Salem with a look of disbelief; Zimmermann stops pacing and his bottom lip quivers a bit at the news; but it’s Jet’s reaction that makes Jezebel catch her breath. She had expected hurt but not the anger she sees mixing with it. Jet is quiet for a moment before speaking.

“But I just got you back.”

Jezebel stares at him, her eyes haunted.

“Do you really think this is me?”

Klaus stands up from his seat on the bench.

“Well this is all very fucking touching, but I think you’re leaving some things out. Like, where are you going? Why are you going? How long will you be gone? Shit we need to know, or do you expect us to put our lives on hold while you two have a romantic getaway?”

Jezebel and Salem share a look but Jez is the one who speaks.

“Those are fair questions, Klaus, but as to where we’re going that is a secret. We’re going because I need to get away from here. Havyn needs to get away from here. I may have healed on the outside, but mentally and emotionally, I’m still a wreck, guys. And I didn’t realize it until now, but so is Havyn. We need to go somewhere where we can heal. We won’t be gone long and we’ll be back before you know it. I just need to be somewhere where I can relax and I don’t have to look over my shoulder all the time or jump out of my skin every time I hear a sound behind me. Can you understand that?”

“Of course we can, Jez. Take what time you need, and we’ll be here when you’re ready,” Nathan moves forward as he says this to wrap his stablemate in a bear hug, patting Salem on the shoulder.

“I’m just happy to see you two together again and Salem not breathing down my neck for some supposed infatuation.”

“You’re not out of the woods yet, rookie,” Salem grumbles halfheartedly, giving Nathan a brief, rare smile, nodding his head in thanks. Zimmermann’s blowing his nose brings everyone’s attention to him.

“I’z… gon to mizz… you guyz,” he hiccoughs before trumpeting his nose again. Jezebel smiles at him.

“We’ll miss you too, Zimmy.”

At Salem’s arch look, she narrows her eyes at him.

“WE will,” she reiterates before Salem sighs and agrees.

“You guys will be back, right? I mean this is bad enough, but I can understand why you have to go, Jez. Just come back to us ready to kick some ass okay?” Klaus runs a hand through his hair, looking tired all of a sudden. Jezebel moves forward and hugs him.

“We’ll be back, Klaus, I promise.”

KvK returns the hug one-handed and moves away. Jezebel turns to Jet, still not liking the look in his eyes.

“Jet I will be back, but I have to do this. You have to understand.”

Jet still doesn’t say a word, just stares forward, visibly shaking. Salem clears his throat.

“Jez… we have a plane to catch. I don’t think Havyn will be very happy if we miss another one.”

Jezebel nods, a worried look on her face as she stares at her brother.

“I love you Jet. Sherry’s still going to be here, so check up on her for me, okay?”

She leans up to give him a kiss on the cheek before turning to the three men standing behind her.

“Take care of him for me?”

Nathan nods, Zimmermann sniffles, and KvK rolls his eyes in exasperation. Figuring this is as good as she will get, Jezebel moves to the door with Salem, looking back one last time before walking out.

KvK’s look is one of disbelief at what has occurred in the past few minutes.

"So what the fuck are we supposed to do n--?"

He turns, to Jet, and the last word is caught in his throat as he catches sight of Jet's face. Jet's now intense stare is boring a hole in the floor. His fists are clenching and unclenching as he is drawing rapid, frustrated breaths. KvK, never having been one to befriend this do-gooder, puts a hand on his shoulder tentatively, a look of worry and even interest coming over his face.

"Um, you gonna be ok?"

Jet takes a deep breath and releases one quiet word.

"Raenius."

"Raenius? What the hell? What about Raenius?"

"It all just keeps coming back to him. Way back in the beginning, who convinced her to leave her old life behind in order to plunge into this depraved world? Raenius. When the joke with Mickey Dragon went too far and that psycho got a little too serious about his hurt pride, who refused to stop his attack on his protege? Raenius. Who helped with the attack that led up to Jezebel getting dragged away from you guys? Raenius. Who now, playing chickenhawk again, dragging another soul down to his level, is acting as enabler to Lilith, bringing another facet of reality crashing down on Jezebel before she's even ready to deal with the real world at large? Raenius. In the end, who's responsible for her corruption, torment, and finally her exodus from here, causing me to lose the sister once again I had just gone through hell to gain back? Raenius."

"Look, he's an asshole, but can you really lay all the blame at his feet? Didn't you even blame Salem and I for her being here?"

Jet's head snaps up as he stares directly into Klaus' face.

"Raenius. Raenius! RAENIUS! The Resident Fucking Evil!"

Jet shoves KvK aside and storms out of the room in a hurry.

KvK looks after him, scratching his head.

"Did Jet fucking Somers just say 'fuck'?"

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: It’s that time again.

Hanson: Hammer time?

Vinegar: What? No.

Hanson: Oh.

Vinegar: It’s time for the main event to another edition of Sentinel.

Hanson: Does it involve who I hope it involves?

Vinegar: Haven’t I told you already?

Hanson: I can’t remember.

Vinegar: Well, yes, it’s going to be the four men who headlined GIW Distant Whispers two weeks ago though this time they’re going free for all in a fatal four way match-up.

Hanson: Surely it’ll just turn into a tag team match anyway.

Vinegar: I doubt it. After Donovan Hastings turned on Travis Roberts, the Headliner is most likely after some revenge.

Hanson: He turned on him!?

Vinegar: Well yeah, how do you not-

Hanson: I wasn’t there was I.

Vinegar: Well no but you must’ve seen it.

Hanson: You expect me to pay to see it on TV?

Vinegar: Yes, like all the fans at home did and if you missed Distant Whispers, check your listings for replay times.

Hanson: Nice plug.

Vinegar: I just got a $500 bonus. Cool huh?

Hanson: Where’s mine?

Vinegar: You get one if you manage to not offend anyone for the rest of the show.

Hanson: No problem. I’ll unoffend the hell out these bitches.

Vinegar: Bitches?

Hanson: Starting from now.

The filthy guitar tone of Down’s “Bury Me In Smoke” begins as the lights dim, drawing the crowd to a terrified silence. The people wait on baited breath, afraid to speak for fear of who is behind the curtains. All is dark and as the guitar plays, the atmosphere of the arena one of death and silence and terror. As the music hits a riff, lights of dark purple and white rise up, illuminating the looks of awe and trepidation dispersed amongst the throngs of people. They flash and swirl in random form, seeming to have no particular pattern. While the lights flash on, Raenius and Dirge of The Covenant make their way out onto the stage.

Dennis: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is your GIW Sentinel Main Event! Introducing first, from Las Vegas, Nevada. Weighing in at 326lbs! Diiiirge!

Also making his way to the ring. From Northern Ireland. Weighing in at 252lbs! Raeniuuuuuuus!

Vinegar: Display of unity from the Covenant here tonight. Despite the fact these two are opponents in the coming match they’re making their way out here together.

Hanson: See, my idea of it turning into a tag match isn’t so stupid after all is it.

Vinegar: Maybe not, but we’ll have to see how this match progresses.

They step forward, observing with disdain the crowd that starts to boo them. Walking forward they make their way down the aisle slowly, casting loathsome looks at the people who are too afraid to throw things, but voice their dislike openly. As they make their way to the stage they climb in and then mount opposite turnbuckles, looking out amongst the crowd, who is once again shushed by the death like creep of terror’s hands around their hearts. The song fades.

Immortal by Adema starts to play.

Hanson: Yaaaaaaay.

And Donovan Hastings makes his way out onto the stage. He pauses to pose, arms spread wide, holding his cloak up behind him.

Dennis: Introducing the opponent! From Hartford, Connecticut! Weighing in at 230lbs! The Lord of Pain, Donovaaaaaan Haaaaastings!!!

Hastings makes his way down towards the ring and climbs up the steps. Dirge steps forward but Glenn Burke gets in the way and forces the Covenant members into a corner. Hastings climbs into the ring and climbs a turnbuckle to pose again before climbing down and removing his cloak. His music fades to be replaced by Bummer. Travis Roberts makes his way out to the stage this time. He pauses and holds up the belt before also making his way down.

Dennis: And finally! From Phoenix, Arizona! Weighing in at 220lbs! He is your GIW Unified Global Champion, The Blessed One, Travis Robeeeerts!!!

Travis makes his way down to the ring. He too climbs the steps and gets into the ring. As soon as he does, Glenn Burke can o longer contain the Covenant and they launch into their opponents. Dirge attacking Hastings and Raenius attacking Travis before he’s even able to remove his entrance attire.

Ding! Ding!

Vinegar: This one off to a quick start. Both Covenant members all over the on/off members of Blessed Immortality.

Hanson: What do you mean by on/off?

Vinegar: Well they’re hardly the most stable of tag teams. Their last match together ended with one hitting the other with a pipe.

Hanson: It’s all part of their charm.

Vinegar: Well I don’t think that kind of ‘charm’ will help them here. Dirge has taken control of Hastings and is landing clubbing blows across his back, forcing Hastings back into the corner. Raenius on the other side has got Travis up against the ropes and is just trying to choke the life out of him. Referee isn’t having that.

1! 2! 3! 4!

Vinegar: Raenius forced to break the choke. The Covenant members taking full control though and thoroughly taking the wind out of their opponents sails.

Hanson: What’s with the boat talk?

Vinegar: It’s a figure of speech. Dirge still putting the pain on Hastings in the corner. Some heavy back elbows landing there. Raenius is dragging Travis into the opposite corner and just slammed him head first into the turnbuckle. Looks like they have something planned.

Hanson: You mean aside from-

Vinegar: Bonus!

Hanson: Nothing.

Vinegar: Irish whips and Hastings and Roberts collide badly in the middle of the ring. It’s not looking much like the Covenant have any interest in fighting this one out between the two of them. Both of them reclaiming their targets from the floor and going back to work.

Hanson: See, I’m right. You just admitted it.

Vinegar: Not quite. We haven’t seen Travis and Donovan work together. Can’t be a tag match with one team. Raenius hit’s a snap suplex on the champion. Dirge looking to take it back into the corner. Heavy hip shot from Dirge.

Hanson: But an amazing super kick counter by Hastings!

Vinegar: You’re still doing the whole eye poke thing?

Hanson: It’s not a fad Nick, it’s a reality.

Vinegar: Hastings with that shortcut that catches The Momentum Killer off guard.

Hanson: The Momentum Killer just had his momentum killed.

Vinegar: Yes, very good. Hastings comes out of the corner with a swinging neck breaker that puts Dirge down on the mat. Raenius has Travis down and is putting the boot to him at the edge of the ring. Hastings hits him with a clothesline to the back.

Hanson: There, he saved Travis. Now do I win?

Vinegar: You might be right but you don’t win anything.

Hanson: Aww.

Vinegar: Hastings tosses Raenius over the top rope to the outside and- Starts putting the boots down on Travis himself. Better luck next time Dan.

Hanson: Darn it.

Vinegar: Well restrained. The Immortal just cleaning house here now. He’s got Travis back onto his feet just to plant him again with a body slam. Running off the ropes. No, he just got intercepted by a big Yakusa kick from the recovered Dirge. Raenius is back into the ring too. Dirge picks Hastings back up, he’s on dream street after that shot. The Covenant have him back in the corner. Irish whip across the ring. Raenius whips Dirge in with a big avalanche. Dirge with the whip back out and Raenius hit’s the sidewalk slam. Here’s a cover.

1!

2!

Vinegar: Kick out at two by the Immortal. Travis is back on his feet now and goes straight after Dirge. Blessed One with a chop block, takes the big man off his feet. Quickly back to his feet as Raenius tries to counter and takes him down with a drop toe hold. Travis with a leg drop, puts one leg on the neck of each man.

Hanson: The Blessed One is always the innovator. That’s why he’s the longest reigning champion in history. You’d do well to remember that.

Vinegar: I do, don’t you worry. I don’t know if these guys are going to be able to deal with The Covenant here though if they keep trying to go it alone. Travis seems to have decided to put his focus on Raenius here, he’s got the Resident Evil on his feet. Whip to the ropes and a big shoulder block.

Hanson: None can stand against the chest of the Blessed One.

Vinegar: No matter how much you try.

Hanson: Hey, shut up you-

Vinegar: Bonus.

Hanson: Does that apply to you too?

Vinegar: yup.

Hanson: Damn.

Vinegar: Before The Headliner can follow up though he too is taken down by Dirge, with a releasing German Suplex. Dirge goes for the cover this time.

1!

2!

Vinegar: Kick out at two by Travis Roberts this time. Raenius back to his feet and the Covenant double teaming on Roberts this time. They’ve got him on his feet. Looks like a double choke slam in the works.

Hanson: The Lord Chief is back up!

Vinegar: The Covenant hoist Travis up into the air but Donovan Hastings drags him back down to Earth. Boots to the gut. DDT! One each for the Covenant. Roberts and Hastings planted them there. Both go for the cover.

1!

2!

Vinegar: And both men kick out at two. Hastings dragging Raenius back up this time. Travis has got Dirge. They’re setting them up in opposite corners. Forearm shots from each. Irish whips coming.

Hanson: Yeah, they’re giving the Covenant a taste of their own medicine.

Vinegar: Raenius and Dirge sidestep one another though and go straight past-

Hanson: The Blessed One and the Lord Chief each duck clothesline attempts and run off themselves.

Vinegar: Dropkicks to each Covenant member in the corners there. Great display of reflexes from Blessed Immortality. Travis follows up with the boots, stomping a mudhole in Dirge down in the corner. He’s got to watch his back though. Any semblance of team work seems to be over. Hastings spins Travis around and takes him over with an overhead belly to belly suplex.

Hanson: Why oh why can’t they stay a team? Don’t they know how this tortures me so?

Vinegar: If they do they don’t care. Hastings might care about not following up on Raenius though. The Resident Evil is up and just tossed him out to the floor.

Hanson: Travis is recovering. He’s almost up to his feet.

Vinegar: He’s going to want to watch how he does so. Raenius stalking his prey.

Hanson: Don’t turn around!

Vinegar: Full Frontal! Here’s the pin!

1!

2!

Hanson: Phew!

Vinegar: Hastings quick to recover from the outside and gets in to break up the count. Dirge doesn’t look too happy about it though. He’s just pulled Hastings up into a Full Nelson and Raenius is hammering away with those shots to the body, punctuated with the Full Nelson Slam.

Hanson: I think it should be noted for the archives that the Covenant did not compete in the spirit of the competition.

Vinegar: They’ll be heart broken for sure. Raenius directing traffic now. Dirge just hoisted Travis Roberts up off the ground. Oh lord he just tossed him to the outside.

Hanson: I don’t like the looks of this.

Vinegar: Raenius is dragging Hastings back to his feet in the middle of the ring too. Here it comes…Rippersnapper! Cover.

1!

Hanson: Travis is on his feet!

2!

Vinegar: And he doesn’t give a crap, he’s had enough.

3!

Ding! Ding!

Dennis: Here is your winner, Raeniuuuus!!!

Hanson: I can’t believe it.

Vinegar: Raenius able to pick up the victory after Travis made no attempt to break the final count.

Hanson: What does this mean?

Vinegar: It doesn’t mean anything.

Hanson: Oh, did I go without insulting anyone?

Vinegar: I think you did.

Hanson: So I get my bonus?

Vinegar: No that was a lie.

Hanson: Asshole.

Raenius and Dirge pose in the ring for a moment before dropping out to the floor. They stat to make their way up the ramp, backwards, their arms raised in victory, mockingly, at the crowd.

Vinegar: And that’s it, ladies and gentlemen, another close to a very interesting sh-

Hanson: I don’t think it’s over yet! Here comes Jet Somers down the ramp and boy does he look pissed!

Vinegar: For once you’re right, he does look pissed, and he’s heading straight for Raenius!

Hanson: Well after that tirade he went on about Raenius, we should have seen this one coming, but the Resident Evil has no idea what’s about to hit him!

Vinegar: I think he’ll figure it out…

Raenius and Dirge have already made their way out of the ring and are at the base of the ramp, watching Somers’ make his way down. Noting the all-encompassing look of fury on his face that seem to be directed solely at Raenius, the Resident Evil cocks his head to the side.

Raenius: D’you think he wants to talk?

Dirge: I’d say talking is the last thing on his mind.

The pair stop their conversation as Jet Somers steps directly in front of Raenius, face to mask with him, breathing hard, hands clenching and unclenching.

Hanson: Jet Somers and Raenius are having a stare down!

Vinegar: I hope Jet knows what he’s doing…

Raenius: Have a go if it’s on your mind, lad.

Jet Somers roars in Raenius’ face before shoving the Resident Evil back and delivering a swift and hard kick to his midsection.

Vinegar: Jet Somers just hit Raenius and Raenius is fighting back!

Hanson: Watch out Jet, Dirge is behind you!

Dirge rips Jet off of Raenius and proceeds to pound into him as well, “The Wild Card” being pummeled between the two Covenant members.

Hanson: Somers should have known this would happen!

Vinegar: He’s an honest man, a rarity in this sport. If you’ll notice, he didn’t attack Raenius from behind, he faced him like a man and expected it to be a fair fight.

Hanson: Well, look where honesty gets y-

Vinegar: That’s KvK! KvK is out here and he’s diving off on Dirge, freeing up Jet to focus on Raenius!

Hanson: KvK’s saving Jet Somers? What’s the world coming to?

Vinegar: And it doesn’t stop there! Here comes Chassie Fear with a chair and ohhhh it looks like KvK didn’t enjoy that shot!

Hanson: Dirge and Fear double-teaming KvK as Raenius and Somers battle it out.

Vinegar: Nathan Korpi is out and he’s yanked that chair out of the hands of the “Dark Rose.” He seems reluctant to hit her with it, but he better do something quick.

Hanson: MORE COMING OUT? Dirge’s bodyguards are out here… wait… here comes Zimmermann! Holy shit, we’ve got a brawl on our hands!

Vinegar: Ladies and gentlemen, there is mass confusion and chaos here, just at the base of the ramp.

Hanson: You think you’re confused, look at Roberts and Hastings in the ring! They haven’t even made it out yet.

Vinegar: Exile’s out and walking down the ramp to the brawl!

Hanson: What the hell is he doing out here? He has nothing to do with these factions.

Vinegar: Well, we know that KvK knows him so maybe that has something to do with it. HE’S WADING INTO THE MESS AND BASHING PEOPLE IN THE HEAD WITH HIS BIBLE!

Hanson: Bible-thumper!

Vinegar: And here comes Lilith, but wait, she’s stopping midway to the brawl… what’s she doing?

Hanson: She’s looking at her nails and back at the pile! She doesn’t want to break one!

Vinegar: I think you’re right, Hanson, and there she goes, back to the bac- who the hell is that?!

Lilith is stopped from returning to the backstage area by the petite, curvy blonde from earlier. The woman backs Lilith up from the backstage area, a wicked smile on her lips as she shakes her head, forcing Lilith down the ramp and into the waiting brawl.

Hanson: Is that a mallet behind her back?!

Vinegar: … Nothing surprises me anymore.

Hanson: … Are those blood splatters on her dress?!

Vinegar: See previous comment. Well Lilith has now joined the fray and she doesn’t appear too happy to be there.

Hanson: I think Roberts and Hastings have decided now would be the best time to make their exit.

Vinegar: They’re doing it carefully enough, trying to avoid getting dragged into this… whatever it is.

Hanson: They’re going to make it!

Vinegar: You’re forgetting that woman at the top of the ramp.

Hanson: Oh yeah…

Vinegar: There’s some movement behind the curtain… who else could possibly be coming out?!

Hanson: Ummm… what the hell is that?

Vinegar: It looks like that midget from earlier… what’s his name… Shucky! And what appears to be some sort of pagan worshipper with him!

Hanson: A voodoo priest, you ass, a voodoo priest!

Vinegar: This just keeps getting weirder and weirder.

Hanson: Yeah, but now Hastings and Roberts are stuck on the ramp between the brawl and the woman with the mallet, the midget, and a chanting voodoo priest.

Vinegar: I’m so glad I’m not in their shoes right now.

Music starts playing over the loudspeakers, a voodoo drum beat.

Hanson: The voodoo priest and Shucky are dancing around! Shucky still has that headless chicken from earlier! There’s a candle! A fucking candle, excuse my language! Are they gonna burn the place down?

Vinegar: I think they’re doing some kind of ritual…

Hanson: Well if it’s to stop the brawl, it’s serving it’s purpose. That mess of people is slowly stopping what they’re doing and turning to look up the ramp, and if their mouths hanging open is any sign I think they’re just as shocked as we are!

Vinegar: Or it could be from the fog seeping over everyone and everything from the stage area…

Hanson: Could be that too.

The drums hit a crescendo and then stop suddenly as all the lights in the arena go out and “O Fortuna” starts playing. The spotlight comes back on, lighting up the staging area as something rises from beneath.

Hanson: HOLY FUCKING COCKHEADS! THAT’S A CLOWN!

Vinegar: … You know what, I give up. I have no idea what the hell is going on around here anymore.

Hanson: That voodoo guy is shaking stuff over the clown… I think they’re trying to resurrect him or something.

The music stops and everyone is silent, almost as if holding their collective breath, as the clown falls over backwards, stiff as a board. The voodoo priest and Shucky stare at the body and then look at each other, obviously bickering.

Vinegar: Something tells me that didn’t go as planned.

Hanson: Oh really? What was your first clue?

Vinegar: Looks like they’re going to try again. The voodoo guy is shaking a stick over the clown… oh wait, he’s shrugging… I think he’s giving up.

Hanson: The midget isn’t! He just football kicked the clown upside the head!

Vingar: HOLY SHIT HE JUST SAT UP!

“O Fortuna” starts playing again as the clown’s eyes open.

Hanson: Did you just say shit?

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Sentinel 01/11/09 Credits

Exile vs Vaine
JK

Cockatoo vs Kingsley
Donny Boy

Colin vs Brandon
T-Rob

Tag Match
Wayne (yeah I’m shocked too :-P)

A-Kis vs Jet
Moss

Main Event
A-Kis

The throughout show shenanigans, included end brawl
Brit with help from Ichy!

Editor
T-Rob

[Eden Morgan]

Forgot to add, help from Danny on those segs as well.

I've been a writing machine today

[>V<]

She did part of the tag match too...

[chassiefear]

A clown...A CLOWN....Oh Fucking Hell.

Attention everyone. You're all potentially fucked.

That is all.(and assuming I'm right.)

[>V<]

*cackles madly*

[Moss Works Jericho's Schedule]

Was that what every show was like wherever you guys came from? That's some crazy ass shit.

[>V<]

You couldn't fathom the madness of "wherever we came from" young man...

[Eden Morgan]

"I come from a land down under..."