Sentinel 15/11/09 Results

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: Welcome to Sentinel Ladies and Gentlemen and we’ve got quite a night for you tonight.

Hanson: Travis Roberts returns!

Vinegar: Where did he go?

Hanson: I don’t know but he was gone for ages.

Vinegar: it was a week!

Hanson: Felt like a year, I don’t know how we all managed to survive.

Vinegar: Neither do I. *sigh*

Hanson: Unfortunately though we have to sit through 4 other matches before we get to ‘The Headliners’ return!

Vinegar: Hey they might not be that bad.

Hanson: Really? Who’s in the next match...

Vinegar: JK, Tim Kin...

Hanson: I rest my case!

Dennis: The first match is scheduled for one fall, and is a Tag Team Match Up.

“Hells Bells”

Dennis: introducing first, from The Devil’s Basin, EXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLEEEE!!!!

Hanson: Um?

Vinegar: I know...

Hanson: that’s his lights, his music, his entrance video...

Vinegar: Indeed...

Hanson: Where is Exile?

Vinegar: Haven’t the foggiest!

Hanson: I bet Mitchell’s f-d up again.

Dennis: Hey don’t look at me, I just read the cards...

Hanson: maybe he’s just not read, try JK, the dudes probably been waiting since last week when you forgot to call out his name...

Dennis: That wasn’t my fault.

Hanson: Course it wasn’t, make the lil’ guys day and call out his name...

Dennis: They need to play his mu...

“Storm Front”

Dennis: Let’s try this again, introducing first, from Townsville North Queensland, ‘THE CYCLONE’ JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!

Hanson: Um?

Vinegar: Dear god.

Hanson: Seriously?

Vinegar: Maybe that team isn’t ready, and the other team should come out first...

Dennis: Whatever works, but I have to wait for the mus...

“Gimme Back My Bullets”

Dennis: Introducing first, from Miami, Florida....RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORR VAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIINE!!!!

Hanson: No...No...NO! Not you! Why is he coming out now? Seriously one week without ‘The Headliner’ and this place goes to the dogs...

Vinegar: It is strange, Exile is walking out to Rigor Vaine’s music, and he seems just as confused as the rest of us as to what is exactly going on...

Hanson: He’s LATE! I’m not confused about that...

Vinegar: At least he showed up, apparently neither JK or Rigor Vaine can be found in the arena, for continuities sake I hope that’s the case throughout the night.

Hanson: Well at least they’ve turned off vaine’s music....

“Hells Bells”

Vinegar: And he gets to walk the last half of the journey to his own music. And he’s looking at Mitchell Dennis with cold eyes, I think he wants his intro now.

Dennis: Well if you wanted to hear your name called out you should have shown up on time...

Vinegar: Not exactly the reaction Exile wanted, but none the less it’s a good argument...

Hanson: And he climbs into the ring...looks down the aisle...can I sense impatience from the new guy? Seriously, he turns up two intro’s too late and now he expects his opartner and opponents to turn up quickly...

Vinegar: Well it looks like it’ll just be one opponent...

“Life on Mars”

Dennis: And his opponent, from Space itself, TIIIIIIIIIIIM KIIIIIIIIIIIN(G)SSSSSSSSSSLYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!

Vinegar: And the Space Cadet comes screaming out of the curtains...barrelling at full speed towards the ring, and he slides right in...

DING!

Hanson: MELLOW REQUIEM!!!! KIN(G)SLEY IS DOWN!

1...

2...

3!!!

Dennis: Here is your winner, EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEE!!!

Vinegar: A stunningly quick victory for Exile, and a real blow to The Space Cadet who rumours have it wanted a shot at the GIW.com Title...

Hanson: I coulda predicted this would be an awful match last week...I’m not sure why I don’t just book the card!

Vinegar: because it would only include Travis Roberts and Donovan Hastings...

Hanson: You say that like it’s a bad thing...

Vinegar: Speaking of the Lord Chief, apparently we have some backstage footage to take us into the break, we’ll be right back.

Donovan and Calypso are walking through the hallway, when Donovan suddenly puts up his hand.

Hastings: Whoa there!

Donovan has stopped in front Jet Somers, who is getting a drink from the vending machine.

Hastings: Greetings, my boy. If you had let me know you needed a beverage, I could have had my Niglet fetch you one, what with us teaming tonight and all.

Jet glances around.

Somers: Are you talking to me?

Hastings: Of course, lad! I understand your confusion, after all it isn't often that I stop to speak to the peasantry, but I feel it's important to tell you just how much I agree with your holy war against Dirge. He truly is a dreadful man, simply dreadful. You're a good lad, though, aren't you? Your Lord hasn't forgotten the aid you gave him at Distant Whispers, and is pleased to be able to return the favor tonight, such is your good fortune.

Jet's jaw has dropped open.

Hastings: Now you might want to get yourself a Red Bull or something, get that energy up, son. Your Lord can carry a great deal, but you'll have to do your share too, of course. But you're a fine lad, certainly lucky to have the Lord in your corner, I'm sure you'll do just fine. I'll see you out there, lad. Carry on, then.

Donovan and Calypso walk off. Jet pinches and then flicks his own arm, and after a moment he frowns.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: So now it’s time for the first of our GIW Tag Team Championship singles matches.

Hanson: So how’s that going to work then? When Moss pitched that last week I bet he thought his self penned memoirs had more chance of being produced, instead here we are, with a scenario that frankly makes no sense.

Vinegar: it certainly is strange, I’m not sure if it will be setting a precedent, but I’ve certainly never seen anything like it in my time.

Hanson: I still don’t know how it’s going to work though?

Vinegar: As far as I can make out, the winner of each match will be awarded one half of the GIW Tag Team Championships, so by the end of the Evening it could be Brandon and Moss, or A-Kis and Colin.

Hanson: Or it could just stay the same.

Vinegar: Yes, yes it could...

Dennis: The next match is scheduled for one fall and is for one half of the GIW Tag Team Championships....

‘Living on a Prayer’

Dennis: Introducing first, from New Jersey....COOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSS!!

Vinegar: And here comes the Big Red, ready for his shot at gold. The further we get into these matches the more surreal it becomes. The rookie Colin Davis could easily become Tag Champion without any input from his mentor Moss.

Hanson: That sounds like my kinda mentoring.

Vinegar: I’m not sure it was exactly what Moss, Grace and Colin initially had planned...but it was Moss’ idea so maybe it’s his strategy, maybe he knows something we don’t?

Hanson: That Brandon Brown has been riding his luck for months now, and remove him from A-Kis and he doesn’t stand a chance? Because we all know that.

Vinegar: How would that help Moss?

Hanson: Could get rid of the rookie for a bit. Just lie down to A-Kis and he can escape from the GIW Retired Careers Home, also known as the Tag Division. Maybe he could take another run at JK....if we ever see that dude again?

Vinegar: Moss’ sights are set a little higher, and as ever I wouldn’t underestimate Brandon Brown...

Hanson: Of course you wouldn’t, you’ve been overestimating him for years, literally, I don’t expect a sudden change of heart.

‘Kickstart my Heart’

Dennis: And his opponent, from Albion, Indiana, he is one half of the GIW TAG TEAM CHAMPIIIIIOONS! BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWN!!!!

Vinegar: this is the second time since Distant Whispers Colin and Brandon have met, in between that they each suffered a defeat to Alex Kiseragi and the Lord Chief respectively, and a second loss in a row would be more than just a number on a sheet, it would be a lost chance at the Tag Title that Brandon proudly wears around his waist now.

Hanson: I wonder how many people helped him put it on...maybe it was just A-Kis...

Vinegar: Are you insinuating Brandon brown can’t do up a belt? He’s won more titles than most men in GIW. Two Global Championships and a Tag Title! In fact he and A-Kis have an identical record in such a respect, and it would have remained that way until they lost their titles, if tonight’s strange set of matchup’s had occurred.

Hanson: Yeah records to be proud of, can I remind you ‘The Blessed One’, who has finally returned, has won Three Gl...

Vinegar: He was gone a week! It’s hardly a goddamn return.

Hanson: I wouldn’t wanna see the state of this company if he’d been absent for more...you and I would be out of a job by Christmas.

Vinegar: I highly doubt that when we have superstars of the calibre of Brandon Brown remaining loyal, and he’s in the ring now and ready to start this match.

Hanson: I’m on the edge of my seat...

Vinegar: Don’t be flippant...

Hanson: No...really I am. The lumbering baboon behind me just spilt his drink down the back of my chair.

Vinegar: Riveting stuff Dan, meanwhile the bell has gone and Brandon and Colin have tied up, Colin getting the advantage with a Hammerlock, but Brandon rolls through and reverses it, now Old School is the one locked up...

Hanson: But he steps under and twists Brandon into another hammerlock...

Vinegar: ‘The Dragon’ must have taught him that! Brown back flipping out of the Hammerlock and breaking the hold, Colin turns stunned, only for Brandon to instantly hit a Bicycle kick to the big man’s face, sending him staggering backwards into the ropes...

Hanson: Brandon now charging at Colin...

Vinegar: But Davis has enough about him to duck under and propel Brandon over the top rope...

Hanson: but Brandon’s reaction are almost, and it pains me to pay him any kind of compliment, cat like and he grabs hold of the rope on his way over, and is able to land on the canvas outside.

Vinegar: Colin turns expecting to see Brandon crumpled on the arena floor only to be met by a kick through the ropes, doubling him over, Brandon then uses the ropes, and executes a sunset flip pin from the outside...

1...

2...

Hanson: Colin is taken by surprise but regains his reflexes in time to kick out, and both men roll back to their feet. ‘The Classic’ launches at Brandon as soon as he gets to his feet, but Brandon sidesteps and hits a drop toe hold, sending Colin’s skull crashing into the canvas...

Vinegar: Brandon getting a head of steam up now and he waits for Colin to get to his knee’s before running the ropes, and coming from behind hitting a somersault neckbreaker, and then rolling over for a pin...

1...

2...

Hanson: No. Colin kicks out again, and Brandon just drags him back to his feet and whips him into the corner, and follows him in at speed...

Vinegar: but Colin manages to pull himself to the side, and Brandon goes crashing at a high velocity into the turnbuckles, Colin Quickly turns him round and hoists him to the top rope...

Hanson: SUPERPLEX! COVER!

1...

2...

Vinegar: No! It was a big move, but it will take bigger to bring down Brandon Brown. Both men struggle to their feet, and just start slogging it out in the middle of the ring, exchanging lefts and rights...at first with speed...

Hanson: but the rate is dropping now, and both men are taking a lot out of each other, and after roughly twenty shots each they drop to their knees...

Vinegar: Both take a breather, but Brandon leaps to his feet the moment he sees Colin start to rise to his....SUPERKI...

Hanson: No, Colin dodges and Brandon gets nothing but air, and Colin takes the moment to grab Brandon....T-BONE SUPLEX!!!!

Vinegar: Brandon flies over the top rope, Colin putting a great deal of effort into that manoeuvre, but he seems to have injured himself in the meantime, and fall’s to the floor clutching his neck...

Hanson: Brandon lands in a heap on the concrete floor, landing legs first, but both buckling through his own mass...

Vinegar: Both men in incredible amounts of pain at the moment, Brandon is lifeless on the outside....

Hanson: And the Big Red is clutching his neck on the inside, lying on the canvas...

5...

Vinegar: And Owen Peterson is halfway through counting out Brandon Brown...

Hanson: Colin climbing to his feet slowly...

7...

Vinegar: Brandon rolls over , the first sign of life from the former 2 Time Global Champion, and he slams his hands onto the floor, and begins to lift himself to his feet...

9...

Hanson: But his right leg gives way, seems he’s done some muscle damage their...

10!!!

Vinegar: And Owen Peterson has no other choice but to count him out!

Dennis: HERE IS YOUR WINNER, VIA A COUNTOUT.....COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNN DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISS!!!!

Vinegar: He may well have just beaten a former Global Champion, but in a bitter twist for the green Colin Davis, the title does not change hands due to the manner of the victory...neither man seems victorious though...

Hanson: Ironically it’s probably Colin’s injury that could be potential more worrying, neck injuries can lead to many, many problems...yet he is the winner in this one, and Brandon keeps the belt. It’s strange how life works out sometimes isn’t it.

Vinegar: indeed it is, in a few moments we’ll see a Random 6 man Tag Match, for the purposes of filling the card...

Hanson: Lord Chief! Lord Chief!

Vinegar: Yes he will be there, as undoubtedly will be Dan, don’t go anywhere, Hanson isn’t.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: Welcome back to GIW Sentinel.

Hanson: Welcome back?

Vinegar: From the commercial break.

Hanson: Was there?

Vinegar: Of course there was. If you missed it you must be stupid.

Hanson: Oh, well I certainly didn’t miss it.

Vinegar: No, I didn’t think so.

Hanson: Why would we make such a big point of it though.

Vinegar: Probably because to save screen time, most of the contenders in the next match-up entered while we were off air.

Hanson: Hey so they did. There’s Dirge, Malise, Carnival, Jet Somers and KVK.

Vinegar: Only one left to go.

Immortal starts to play.

Hanson: Yeah! Lord-Chief!

Donovan Hastings makes his way out onto the stage along with Calypso who seems to writhe and slither around him. He pauses at the top of the ramp and Calypso slithers around to his back to remove his cloak as he poses.

Dennis: And finally, being accompanied to the ring by Calypso Desmona. From Hartford, Connecticut. Weighing in at 230lbs! He is the Number 1 Contender to the Unified Global Championship! The Immortal Lord of Pain, Donovaaaaaan Haaaaaaastings!!!

Hastings makes his way down the ramp with Calypso still in tow. He climbs into the ring up the steps and through the ropes. The teams separate to opposite sides of the ring though the Lord Chief hardly acknowledges his own team mates for the night as he climbs up a neutral turnbuckle.

Vinegar: Certainly an unconventional line-up we’ve got for this match.

Hanson: Yeah I don’t quite get it.

Vinegar: It’s certainly strange that Dirge would be being teamed with the people that made such an impact against them at the end of the show two weeks ago.

Hanson: No, I mean, why has the Lord Chief been thrown in with such a group of in-breeds?

Vinegar: You’d say that whoever he was up against.

Hanson: It’s not my fault this place is a cesspool.

Vinegar: You never learn do you.

Hanson: Not even in school.

Vinegar: That explains a few things.

Ding! Ding!

Vinegar: Well it seems the men and woman in the ring are ready to get underway. That was the opening bell and it looks like we’re going to see Dirge and KvK start this one off.

Hanson: Maybe Dirge will swiftly break out one of his many finishers.

Vinegar: Doesn’t seem so. These two lock up but Dirge quickly hit’s a European uppercut, rocking KvK back. Following up with those forearm shots, driving him back to the ropes. Irish whip sends KvK off. Shoulder block by Dirge on the rebound and he makes a tag to Malise.

Hanson: I think I like this girl.

Vinegar: Why? Because she’s a girl?

Hanson: And just insane enough that she may sleep with me.

Vinegar: That clown on the apron would probably disagree.

Hanson: He doesn’t need to know.

Vinegar: Good luck with that. Malise straight up to the top rope as KvK gets back to his feet. Diving Crossbody!

Hanson: And she doesn’t get caught!

Vinegar: Straight into the first cover.

1!

Vinegar: Easy kick out by KvK. Both back to their feet and Malise with a dropkick, rocks KvK back to the corner. Makes the tag to Carnival. The two of them stomp KvK down. Carnival drags him back to his feet and just tosses him across the ring.

Hanson: Clown power I suppose.

Vinegar: Looks like his team mates are bored of watching him get his ass kicked and Jet Somers tags himself in. Fresh competitors in again, doesn’t look like we’re getting a technical wrestling show here. Carnival swings for a vicious lariat but Jet gets under it. Comes back with some stiff jabs and a big right hook. Carnival falls back into the corner.

Hanson: I may just sit here and not say anything until someone tags the Lord Chief in.

Vinegar: By all means. Jet gets into the corner and punishes Carnival with some hard knees to the body. Irish whip across the ring. Jet following the Clown in and hit’s a big running elbow. Carnival falls out from the corner and The Wild Card drops him with a stiff roundhouse kick to the head. Here’s a cover.

1!

2!

Vinegar: Carnival kicks out, just. Jet drags Carnival back to his feet. Somers off the ropes this time and- Oh, gets tripped up by Malise on the apron. Carnival recovers enough to get back to his corner and Dirge tags himself in. Jet gets back up but Dirge is on him.

Hanson: Still don’t care.

Vinegar: Dirge has him and slams him head first into the turnbuckle. Then punches KvK, knocking him down to the floor. The Momentum Killer steps back and points at Donovan Hastings.

Hanson: Ooooh….

Vinegar: No prizes for guessing what he’s after and Hastings isn’t going to deny him. The Lord of Pain tags in and Dirge sees the red mist. These two just start throwing shots in the middle of the ring. Looks like one of Hastings’s catches him and Dirge goes down.

Hanson: Yeah, you can’t stand against the magic fists of the Lord Chief.

Vinegar: He’s magic now is he?

Hanson: What do you mean now?

Vinegar: Never mind. Hastings stomping Dirge into the ground. Dirge dropping back to the ropes. He’s not going to get away from Hastings though who just drags him up and sticks his throat over the middle rope. Choking him and Burke has to apply the count.

1! 2! 3! 4!

Vinegar: Hastings breaks the hold and pulls Dirge back up and plants him with an STO. Cover by the Lord of Pain this time.

1!

2!

Vinegar: Another kick out and Hastings makes the tag to Somers.

Hanson: The Lord Chief has proven his point. It’s time to let someone else do the dirty work.

Vinegar: Somers is back in and goes straight after Dirge. He’s locking in that chicken wing like submission.

Hanson: They call that a Kimura.

Vinegar: Well it’s locked in and it looks painful. Dirge may have no choice but to tap out here.

Hanson: Do you really think that’ll happen?

Vinegar: It does seem unlikely and this time Malise is in to break the hold. Burke sending her back to the corner. Somers brings him back to his feet and hit’s a big spinning back fist that rocks the Momentum Killer. Carnival tags himself in.

Hanson: More of the Clown. Oh joy.

Vinegar: Carnival charges at Somers but gets nothing. Hastings pulls down the top rope and the big man goes over.

Hanson: That’s pure genius from the Lord Chief, as ever.

Vinegar: Malise takes it as a cue to get back into this match. Running front dropkick knocks Somers down. He tags in KvK though and these two going head to head once more. KvK with a swift go behind. Back suplex- No, Malise able to land on her feet.

Hanson: What’s Clown boy doing? He just grabbed Glenn Burke from out on the apron.

Vinegar: Just as Malise punts KvK square in the groin. The Teutonic Terror goes down hard.

Hanson: That’s what they say…on men.

Vinegar: You remember what happened last time you started doing that?

Hanson: I’m not at liberty to comment.

Vinegar: No, you’re not. It seems Burke has decided a grown man curled up in the foetal position doesn’t count as a competitor and allows someone else in. Somers straight in but Malise takes him over with an arm drag. Jet back to his feet and returns with an arm drag of his own.

Hanson: I’m bored again and it looks like the Lord Chief is too.

Vinegar: What gave it away? The way he’s cleaning out his finger nails?

Hanson: The Lord Chief can not be seen to be dirty in any way.

Vinegar: Well he’ll likely have more important things to worry about before this is all over. Malise takes Jet over with a head scissor. He’s back up again though as Malise closes him down. Crazy Opie elevates her over the top rope to the outside.

Hanson: Not quite. Malise catches herself and lands on the apron. She takes a swing at the back on Somers.

Vinegar: He turns just in time to avoid it though and knocks her down with the Kao Loi. Dirge decides it’s time to get back in.

Hanson: Where are the tags?

Vinegar: Order breaking down here and it’s just turning into a fight. It may not be the rules but the fans are loving it. Dirge grabs Jet and tosses him through the ropes to the floor.

Hanson: And now the Lord Chief has deigned to restore order personally. He’s in the ring now. Dirge turns back in time for the Lord to clothesline him out as well.

Vinegar: That brings Carnival back in. Scoop slam to the Lord Chief. Carnival heads to the top rope. If this hits it could be over. That’s a lot of clown falling from a great height.

Hanson: Miss, miss, miss, miss, miss.

Vinegar: Diving knee drop! Gets nothing but canvas as Hastings rolls away. Carnival tries to get back to his feet but gets planted with a DDT by The Immortal.

Hanson: Looks like that landing really hurt that knee.

Vinegar: Sure does.

Hanson: And the Lord of Pain is showing how he got his name. He’s locked in a figure four on that leg.

Vinegar: Dirge and Somers have been battling it out on the outside and Dirge just shoved Jet back into the barriers. Dirge into the ring. No! Somers recovers enough to grab his foot before he can break the hold.

Hanson: The Lord Chief has it locked in tight. Look at the pain on Carnival’s face!

Vinegar: Dirge drags Somers into the ring by his hair. Looks like he wants to finish it. Got him hooked backwards under his arm. This can only mean one thing. Death in- No! Somers able to hit him with his knees before he goes over. Dirge lets him go. Jet quickly back up. Flying armbar! Jet takes Dirge down and gets that hold in.

Hanson: Malise is recovering from her fall! She’s up on the apron!

Vinegar: It’s too late though. Carnival taps! Carnival taps out!

Ding! Ding!

Dennis: Here are your winners! KvK, Jet Somers and Donovaaaaaan Haaaaaastings!!!

Hanson: Yet another winning display by the Lord Chief!

Vinegar: It may have been chaotic but the Number 1 contender able to pull out another impressive win.

In the ring Hastings and Somers each release their holds, leaving their opponents cradling their hyper extended limbs. Malise gets into the ring and instantly goes to tend to Carnival. Hastings and Somers roll out of the ring and recover KvK who is just getting back up, albeit slowly. The three of them make their exit, Jet and Hastings going through with their own separate celebrations.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Unknown Voice: And then I reached around and she happened to be a he. I’m never going to get fixed up by Jason Reeves EVER again...

Hanson: Um...

Unknown Voice: Why are you all looking at me like that? Seriously, you are starting to fucking freak me right out now...What do you mean they can hear me? The gods?...What do you fucking mean, everybody?...What? Oh shit...I don’t know, how the fuck am I supposed to know, it was all working fine before we went to that last commercial break....Hang on i think I’ve got i...

Vinegar: I think...we’ll be ok now, I do apologise Ladies and Gentlemen we seem to be having some technical difficulties with the PA system tonight.

Hanson: As I said, Travis Roberts goes away for a week, and the whole place falls to pieces...

Vinegar: it does seem the fates are conspiring to give you a reasonable argument, and that’s utterly depressing...anyway, maybe the second GIW Tag Team Title singles match can lift my spirits...

Hanson: Doubtful, judging by the depressing non ending of the last. That’s the kind of things smarks on the internet moan and bitch about...

Vinegar: I hate those dudes that hang around on the internet and bitch about our genuine hard work. If they think they could do better, why don’t they try. That’s right, because they suck.

Hanson: Woah. Did I touch a nerve.

Vinegar: I’m not the biggest fan of technology as it is, but especially not when it’s abused for the needs of the outspoken, vile, sections of society.

Hanson: yeah, Porn is the only justifiable use of the internet, everything else is just plain creepy.

Vinegar: As strange as that sounds, it’s pretty accurate.

Hanson: hey the D-Dawg only talks the truth...

Vinegar: Sure he does. It’s unfortunate he was never house trained...

Hanson: Boo to you.

Vinegar: boo to me?

Hanson: Yes.

Vinegar: Ok then.

“Dark of the Matinee”

Dennis: The next match is scheduled for One fall and is for One Half of the GIW Tag Team Championships!!!

Vinegar: That’s the second time tonight he’s said that, and it still doesn’t sound right...

Dennis: Introducing first, from Hollywood, California, the Challenger....MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...

Unknown Voice: For fucks sake Melanie. Did I or did I not say do not touch anything!

Dennis: Errr....OOSSSSS EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARDS!

Vinegar: Here comes The Auteur, with a chance to claim his second title in GIW...

Hanson: That’s one way of seeing it, the other is the chance to be lumbered with Brandon Brown as a partner...

Vinegar: Who on earth would complain with GIW’s Most Resilient Athlete in their corner...

Hanson: It’s not the corner I’d be worried about; it’d be him abruptly ending my title reign by going on a quest for the lost city of Atlantis or something...

Vinegar: You are absurd...

Hanson: Are we talking about the same Brandon Brown? Cause I thought that was quite reserved, I held back from suggesting he’d go on a quest to see if the moon was made of cheese...

“The Air That I Breathe”

Hanson: Declan? DECLAN!! DECLAN!!!!

Unknown Voice: Sorry folks, we’ve got some gremlins in the sound system, we should be rd of them soon though....ignore that last track...here’s the right one...

“Teahouse”

Vinegar: Are...you...going to...cry?

Hanson: That was just cruel!

Dennis: And introducing his opponent, from San Francisco, California, he is One Half of the GIW Tag Team Champions, ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEX KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!

Hanson: From the prospect of Declan to...to...him!

Vinegar: yes, the gods really do frown upon you don’t they...

Hanson: They really do!

Vinegar: Anyway, here comes A-Kis, no flips, and marching with purpose towards the ring, the last few weeks haven’t been smooth for ‘The Dragon’, Katie has, well, intervened herself in two of his matches, with varying results, in the past couple of weeks...

Hanson: That’ll be the first time a girl has inter...I’ll stop right there...

Vinegar: For once I’d say that was a good idea. And luckily A-Kis is in the ring, and hopefully some action in the ring will stop you from digging yourself a big legal hole...

Hanson: yeah, two guys, half naked, grabbing one another and trying to hold the other’s shoulders to the ground...I can’t see that leading to anything!

DING!

Vinegar: We’ll just have to wait and see, both guys walk around one another, seem’s they’re exchanging a few niceties...

Unknown Voice: WHO THE FUCK HAS BEEN SMOKING IN HERE? AND STUBBING THE ENDS OUT ON THE CIRCUIT BOARDS!!!

Vinegar: Seem’s those gremlins may take a little while longer to go away...both guys interrupted by that outburst, now bring their eyes back to focus on one another, but A-Kis does so whilst launching towards Moss, and the first thing Moss can recognise is the sight of A-kis’ crotch flying towards his face...

Hanson: WHAT!?

Vinegar: Hurricanrana! Your watching the same match as me, what in the name of hell did you think I was referring to?

Hanson: No comment...

Vinegar: Moss is quickly back on his feet, and he dodges a high kick from ‘The Dragon’, manages to grab him and hits an inverted Atomic Drop, that has A-Kis hopping around the ring...he then takes him down with a bulldog...but doesn’t release, and tightens the headlock...

Hanson: So he’s squeezing his head?

Vinegar: Yes.

Hanson: OUCH!

Vinegar: What?

Hanson: I actuallybit my tongue.

Vinegar: And you call other people moron’s, anyway A-Kis has managed to drag himself to the ropes, but Moss has this match firmly in his control right now, and he drags A_kis to his feet and whips him into the ropes, falls to his belly as Alex comes back, leaps to his feet, and then hits Alex with a hip toss on his return...and then quickly drops a leg over ‘The Dragons’ Throat, causing Alex to gag...

Hanson: OW!MOTHERF...

Vinegar: Tongue?

Hanson: Mmmm Hmmm....

Vinegar: Moss drags Alex to his feet again, but A-Kis wriggle free, leaps onto the middle rope...SPRINGBOARD DDT!!! THAT’S A MATCH LEVELLER!!!

Hanson: Both men now struggling to get it u...to get up...

Vinegar: And Moss is still first to his feet, but A-Kis doesn’t fully extend himself, and launches aty him...but Moss is quick enough to sidestep, causing A-Kis to stop short...looked like he was going for the Yari Kick there...but Moss has apparently been studying up on that move, and ain’t getting caught...

Hanson: He really isn’t, as he catches ‘The Dragon’ with a flying lariat, almost from standing to flying in the blink of an eye...

Vinegar: But A-Kis rolls from underneath the following elbow drop, and gets to his feet quickly, as Moss rises to his....SHINING WIZARD!

Hanson: You’re lame, not extending any of the syllables...

Vinegar: Either way A-Kis goes for the pin...

1...

2...

Hanson: moss gets his foot on the rope and the count is broken, A-Kis now drags Moss to his feet and whips him into the corne...

Vinegar: Reversal, and A-Kis goes flying shoulder first through the ropes and into the steel turnbuckle...

Hanson: After the potential injuries in the first Title match, and now A-Kis shoulder being hurled into a steel post, what state are these guys gonna be in if any of them get to Horizons?

Vinegar: That’s a really good question, A-Kis turns...

Hanson: OUCH!

Vinegar: Tongue?

Hanson: No look at his arm!

Vinegar: Dear god, ‘The Dragons’ arm is literally hanging from his socket, his dislocated it....looks liek this match is gonna have to end...

Hanson: No! EUUUUW! I didn’t need to see that...

Vinegar: A-Kis pops his own arm back into the socket, and lets out an almighty scream as he does so, rotates it a bit and insists he is ready to fight on. Thats the mark of a true Champion, he could have had the match stopped and walk out with the title, but instead he’s gonna fight on, and I imagine he’ll be in quite some pain....

Hanson: And Moss is thinking the same thing, as he dodges a kick from ‘The Dragon’ and then grabs the injured arm and twists...

Vinegar: And A-Kis lets out a huge cry of pain....

*The Familiar Sound of a Can Popping Open fills the air, followed by the sound of a Zippo lighter being struck.*

Vinegar: Moss drops the arm, and lets go of A-Kis...who slumps to his knee’s...

“Wonder Whats Next”

Hanson: God no! No, No, No, NO, NO![/b]

Vinegar: moss turns and looks at the stage, could it be we will see the return of a true GIW Icon...

Hanson: Icon? Pfft.

Vinegar: the fans are going nut’s...

Unknown Voice: Sorry, Sorry....My Bad!

*The Crowd Growns*

Vinegar: Moss shoulders fall when he realises the Red Bull icon is not making a majestic return and turns back to The Dragon...who has been biding his time....

Hanson: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIII KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII....

Vinegar: NO! Moss sidesteps, and A-Kis gets hung up in the ropes. ‘The Auteur’ really has been studying that move, and with A-Kis caught in the ropes he goes to work on the arm of A-Kis. What a let off for Moss, that momentary lapse in concentration could have cost him the match...

Hanson: Instead he has the chance to cripple A-Kis...maybe the gods don’t hate me all that much.

Vinegar: He pulls A-Kis from the ropes...kicks him in the gut...

“RING RING! RING RING!”

Hanson: is that your phone? Mines on silent...

Vinegar: I think it’s the PA again...DOUBLE ARM DDT FROM MOSS!!! THATS GOTTA BE IT....MOSS DROPS FOR THE COVER...

“MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

Hanson: NO! He stands bolt upright, and turns to look at the stage...

Vinegar: There’s no-one there, but he looks convinced he stares at the curtains...

Unknown Voice: I cannot even pretend to explain that.

Vinegar: Moss goes to turn round...

Hanson: A-Kis Kips Up! With a yelp!

Vinegar: DRAGON TAIL!!!

1...

2...

3!!!

Dennis: here is your winner, AND STIIIIILLL ONE HALF OF THE GIW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS.....THE DRAGON.....ALLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEX KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGIIIIII!!!

Vinegar: the Dragon clutches his arm after this hard fought victory, he could have had the match called off but he didn’t, he could have got distracted by the technical problems, but he didn’t, and in the end they are the signs of a true champion.

Hanson: I thought the signs of a true champion were Aviators, Leather Jackets and being better than everyone else. Alex Kiseragi may possess a leather jacket....and cap....but not the other two...

Vinegar: Each to their own, A-Kis though makes his way up victorious, as Moss just sits in the ring, staring into the middle distance...a night that promised so much, has delivered so little...The Main Event is up next!

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: What a night we’ve had, and it’s time now for the main event!

Hanson: Finally! We’ve had to wait two weeks for it, but at last, the Headliner in action, in the main event where he belongs!

The lights cut to black and red and white strobe lights alternate in beat with the rapid music as “Cyanide Sweet Tooth Suicide” Starts to play. Chassie walks swiftly onto the stage, looking at the people for a moment, then as the lyrics hit she descends the ramp, breaking into a run about halfway down. When she reaches the ring she jumps, grabbing the top rope and springing herself up, flipping in the air and landing on her feet. She runs to a random turnbuckle and plants her feet on the corners of the middle turnbuckle, throwing up the horns and head banging briefly. Then she calmly jumps down and begins to stretch, waiting for her opponent with bloodlust in her eyes.

Mitchell: Ladies and gentlemen, the following is your main event of the evening! Introducing first, weighing in at 120 lbs, the Dark Rose, CHASSIEEEEEEEEE FEEEEEEAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR!!!!!

Hanson: Chassie is the perfect opponent for Travis here tonight.

Vinegar: And why is that?

Hanson: Because he can make her his mattress. Heck, I wouldn’t mind showing her my mattress…

Vinegar: Somehow I don’t see that ending well for you.

“Bummer” begins to play, and when drums hit in Travis appears through the curtain, his arms spread open, and he struts his way to the ring.

Mitchell: And her opponent, currently residing in Los Angeles, California, he is the Unified Global Heavyweight Champion, the Headliner, TRRRAVVVISSSSSSS ROBERRRRRRRRTTTTTSSSSSS!!!!

Vinegar: We’ve seen the mind games begin over these past few weeks between Travis Roberts and Donovan Hastings, his challenger in a few short weeks at Horizons, will he able to be focused on his opponent here tonight?

Hanson: Don’t distract me, Nick. I didn’t get to see Travis in action last week, I’ve been going through withdrawal.

Vinegar: Withdrawal?

Hanson: I can admit it…I’m a Blessed junkie.

Vinegar: However did you endure last week.

Hanson: I actually went home and watched a selection from my personal DVD collection.

Vinegar: I hesitate to ask…

Hanson: The Best of Travis Roberts Beating Up Randy Boolzian.

Vinegar: I see.

Hanson: It’s a three disc set.

DING DING!

Vinegar: The match has begun, Travis Roberts is still waving to a woman in the front row, he’d better turn his attention to Chassie fast, because-

Hanson: NO!

Vinegar: A spinning savate kick from Chassie Fear, and it knocked Travis entirely out of the ring!

Hanson: He wasn’t ready! He didn’t know the match started! That’s not fair!

Vinegar: I think everyone else is the arena heard the bell. Does he need his hearing checked?

Hanson: Well, it was probably just a TRLAOCIAFSOS anyway.

Vinegar: Roberts back in the ring now, and Chassie ducks a clothesline, she chops him in the chest, and whips him right into the corner, Chassie Fear being very aggressive in the opening exchanges of this contest. She measures Roberts and goes for a running knee strike.

Hanson: But Travis dodges! Chassie just went knee first right into the turnbuckle! I told you it was a TRLAOCIAFSOS!

Vinegar: And Roberts takes control with a neckbreaker.

Hanson: Oh, she’s in trouble now. Nobody is the master of neckbreakers and shining wizards like he is, except maybe the Lord-Chief.

Vinegar: Speak of the devil, here he comes now!

Hanson: Where? I just see the Lord-Chief.

Vinegar: Donovan Hastings coming down the ramp now on a crutch, with Calypso helping him.

Hanson: This is the unity between Blessed Immortality, Nick. Donovan isn’t going to let a silly injury stop him from enjoying a good old fashioned Headliner match. Maybe he wants to borrow my DVDs?

Vinegar: Travis seems to hesitate a moment when he sees Hastings, but he turns his attention back to the stirring Chassie Fear, looking for a shining wizard, but she ducks under it!

Hanson: What he needed there was an We’re Off to See the Shining Wizard! That would’ve done it!

Vinegar: Travis is off-balance, and Chassie hits the Pele kick!

Hanson: It’s okay! The Lord-Chief is here!

Vinegar: Chassie on the turnbuckle, looking for Fearless, if she hits this, what an upset!

Hanson: But Donovan cracks her with the crutch! LORD-CHIEF TO THE RESCUE!

Vinegar: That should be a disqualification!

Hanson: Glenn Burke can call what he didn’t see!

Vinegar: He didn’t see it because Calypso has his attention!

Hanson: So? He didn’t see it, it didn’t happen.

Vinegar: Hastings knocked Chassie Fear off the turnbuckle with that crutch, he’s handing Travis Roberts another victory!

Hanson: I don’t know what you’re talking about, in fact, I….WAIT, GET THEM OUT OF HERE!

Vinegar: Dirge and Raenius are here! They’re running down the ramp, and Hastings sees them and he quickly slides into the ring!

Hanson: Well, they didn’t get enough at Distant Whispers, obviously. They don’t want to take on Blessed Immortality again.

Vinegar: Glenn Burke is telling Hastings to get back out of the ring, and Hastings TURNS RIGHT AROUND INTO A CLOTHESLINE FROM DIRGE!

Hanson: He’s not a part of this match! Get him out of here!

Vinegar: Dirge and Raenius are stomping away on Hastings, but Calypso shoves Raenius away and swings the crutch at Dirge, who barely evades it!

Hanson: Don’t mess with the Mistress of Pain!

Vinegar: But she doesn’t see Chassie Fear behind her, and Chassie grabs Calypso by the hair and slams her to the mat! Calypso tries to get back up, BUT CHASSIE GRABS HER AND HITS TWILIGHT!

Hanson: This is ridiculous! A match is going on!

Vinegar: Glenn Burke has long since high-tailed it out of here. Dirge has the crutch now, as Raenius waves for Hastings to get up, but Travis Roberts steps between them!

Hanson: Travis will put a stop to this now!

Vinegar: Travis Roberts staring down both Raenius and Dirge, standing between them and Hastings!

Hanson: Get ‘em, Travis! Blessed Immortality for life!

Vinegar: Roberts glances back at Hastings as he stirs…ROBERTS IS LEAVING THE RING!

Hanson: Wait, hold on, there must be some mistake!

Vinegar: Travis Roberts has left the ring, he’s leaving Hastings behind! Hastings is trying to get up, BUT DIRGE CRACKS HIM WITH THE CRUTCH!

Hanson: You can’t use the Lord-Chief’s crutch against him! That’s blasphemy!

Vinegar: Hastings staggers right into FULL FRONTAL FROM RAENIUS!

Hanson: Travis! Come back!

Vinegar: Roberts is already backstage, as Dirge pulls Hastings back off the mat, DEATH IN VEGAS!

Hanson: Look at the way he dropped to his back, adding extra oomph, the Lord-Chief didn’t deserve that!

Vinegar: I’m sure Raenius and Dirge would disagree, and all that momentum that Hastings had heading towards Horizons may well have been killed here tonight! Daniel Hanson looks like he's about to burst into tears, and Travis Roberts is nowhere to be seen. Join us next week as we get even closer to Horizons 2009! GOODNIGHT

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Credits

Exile vs Kin(g)sley
T-Rob

Jet meet’s The Lord Chief
Donny

Colin vs Brandon
T-Rob

6 Man Tag
A-Kis

A-Kis vs Moss
T-Rob

Maine Event
Donny

Editor
T-Rob

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Apologies to Ichy, got your requests, but by the time I'd got home from work and received them tonight A-Kis had already written your match, and I had 3 to write so couldn't edit it if it doesn't fit, apologies.

[Jet Somers]

Hey it's all good. nothing untoward happened.

Good show, everyone, much better this week. except the no shows, wtf mates?

[The Greater Evil]

Sorry I didn't man, I feel kinda shitty about that. As I told Rob, I spent a few days at work pulling 12 to 14 hour days and getting home at 11 pm...at which point I just didn't have anything in the tank.

[Alex Kiseragi]

Gelt like a kinda short but sweet show. I especially liked how the tag title matches were handled. Just a shame about the no-shows. I know alot of you have your reasons though.