Post by T-Robosaurus Rex on Dec 15, 2009 22:00:20 GMT -5
The camera focuses in on a full-body shot of KvK's hired goon Herr Zimmermann, clad in camoflauge pants and a Megaherz t-shirt. He's standing in a backstage hallway, next to a door marked Old Lady Levene with DA BOSS in dark letters underneath. He looks around nervously, biting his lip thoughtfully. As he cranes his neck to look past the cameraman, suddenly a blur appears behind him. Malise jumps from offscreen, landing on Zimmy's back. She hooks her legs around his waist, and her arms around his neck. Thusly giving herself a piggyback ride, she leans in and yells in his ear, her voice taking on a creepy alien quality.
Malise: "Taik me to yur leedur!!"
The huge man cries out in surprise, trying to paw at the arms locked around his neck, choking off his air. He manages to loosen her grip enough to choke out a few words, his voice raspy.
Zimmy: "He told me he ist nicht to be distur-"
His reply to Malise's demand is cut off in a strangled gasp as she tightens her choke hold. She yells in his ear, making him wince between gagging sounds.
Malise: "I said mush!"
Herr Zimmermann paws at the door, whipping it open and stumbling through awkwardly. The camera follows, catching a quick flash of flesh; KvK's bare backside as he has his wife bent over the desk, his pants around his ankles. The camera pans away quickly to avoid any kind of pornographic display on such a family-oriented show. The camera focuses on the face of Zimmy, with Malise peeking around from behind.
Malise: "Hey, nice ass Klaus ole boy!"
Her outburst and wolf whistle follow-up earn a wordless exclamation from the other side of the room. The camera pans back to show KvK turned around, holding up his pants and fumbling with the zipper. Nicole has flipped her skirt back down to cover her....uh, nether regions, and stands up quicky. She whirls to face the intruders with an arm across her naked torso, covering her breasts.
Nicole: "Zimmy! Fuck, you're the worst lookout ever!"
Malise: "Oooh, security deficiency...there's a hefty penalty for that."
She plants a kiss on his cheek before adjusting her grip around his neck with shocking ease. Tucking one hand into the elbow of the other arm, the other hand sliding to the back of his head, she bites her lip as she applies more pressure. Zimmy's eyes bug out before he begins to slump to the floor.
Malise: "Nighty-night..."
Zimmy hits the floor face-down with a thump, and Malise releases her grip on him and stands up, smoothing her dress casually. She turns to look at the others, KvK standing there shirtless, having finally secured his pants properly. Nicole clad only in her skirt and boots, hand still across her chest, looking around the room frantically.
Nicole: "Where's my top? And my bra?"
At that moment, CaRNiVaL and Exile enter, each carrying a cardboard box with shipping labels.
CaRn: "Sounds like we've got our first customer!"
He drops his box on the desk, ripping it open and reaching inside.
CaRn: "I've got just the thing here to cover up your girls and hide your shame!"
He pulls out a white t-shirt with screen-printed red spatters all over it, obviously made to look like it's stained with blood. He balls it up and tosses it to Nicole. She catches it with her free hand, turning her back to the others and holding the shirt out in front of her, letting it unfurl. The front of it bears a red and purple Group Therapy logo, the back boldly displaying the slogan "The Worst of Friends....The Best of Enemies" in a scribbled-looking red font.
Exile: "Yeah, I know I sure hate to have topless women around..."
His sarcastic retort is ignored by the others. KvK turns to catch CaRNiVaL eyeing Nicole's naked back and biting his lip. He leans to one side, trying to see around her and maybe catch a glimpse of some side boob, but notices KvK has caught him. He chuckles and winks at his old friend, shrugging his shoulders. Then he looks to his other side and sees that Malise is also looking at him, having caught him in the act. CaRn frowns, shaking his head as if to show disapproval. He looks directly into the camera, expression changing once more, this time into a salesman's wide grin.
CaRn: "That's the new Group Therapy t-shirt, available at all GIW events, as well as on the website for the low, low price of $18.99!"
He gives the camera a thumbs-up, his insincere-looking smile widening. Nicole finishes her exam of the shirt and slips her arms into it, raising them to pull the shirt on over her head. At that moment, Matt Damon's head pops out of a closet in front of her. His eyes bug out as he gets an eyeful of sweater kittens.
Matt Damon: "Whooo! Matt Damon!"
Nicole yanks the shirt on quickly, covering herself at last. She turns to KvK, huddling against him, looking at the closet with a smoldering gaze. But Matt Damon's head is gone just as suddenly as it appeared.
Nicole: "That guy saw my tits!"
KvK: "How does he DO it?"
CaRn: "He's Matt Damon."
KvK puts an arm around his wife, turns his gaze from the closet to the undead un-clown.
KvK: "Yeah, but he's always there JUST in time to see boobs. It's uncanny. I mean, I've always thought I had a sixth sense for when funbags are out, but that guy....it's like he can see into the future or something, so he knows right where and when there's gonna be a topless chick."
CaRn: "Like I said....he's Matt Damon."
Nicole: "This shirt feels rough on my nipples..."
Malise: "Taik me to yur leedur!!"
The huge man cries out in surprise, trying to paw at the arms locked around his neck, choking off his air. He manages to loosen her grip enough to choke out a few words, his voice raspy.
Zimmy: "He told me he ist nicht to be distur-"
His reply to Malise's demand is cut off in a strangled gasp as she tightens her choke hold. She yells in his ear, making him wince between gagging sounds.
Malise: "I said mush!"
Herr Zimmermann paws at the door, whipping it open and stumbling through awkwardly. The camera follows, catching a quick flash of flesh; KvK's bare backside as he has his wife bent over the desk, his pants around his ankles. The camera pans away quickly to avoid any kind of pornographic display on such a family-oriented show. The camera focuses on the face of Zimmy, with Malise peeking around from behind.
Malise: "Hey, nice ass Klaus ole boy!"
Her outburst and wolf whistle follow-up earn a wordless exclamation from the other side of the room. The camera pans back to show KvK turned around, holding up his pants and fumbling with the zipper. Nicole has flipped her skirt back down to cover her....uh, nether regions, and stands up quicky. She whirls to face the intruders with an arm across her naked torso, covering her breasts.
Nicole: "Zimmy! Fuck, you're the worst lookout ever!"
Malise: "Oooh, security deficiency...there's a hefty penalty for that."
She plants a kiss on his cheek before adjusting her grip around his neck with shocking ease. Tucking one hand into the elbow of the other arm, the other hand sliding to the back of his head, she bites her lip as she applies more pressure. Zimmy's eyes bug out before he begins to slump to the floor.
Malise: "Nighty-night..."
Zimmy hits the floor face-down with a thump, and Malise releases her grip on him and stands up, smoothing her dress casually. She turns to look at the others, KvK standing there shirtless, having finally secured his pants properly. Nicole clad only in her skirt and boots, hand still across her chest, looking around the room frantically.
Nicole: "Where's my top? And my bra?"
At that moment, CaRNiVaL and Exile enter, each carrying a cardboard box with shipping labels.
CaRn: "Sounds like we've got our first customer!"
He drops his box on the desk, ripping it open and reaching inside.
CaRn: "I've got just the thing here to cover up your girls and hide your shame!"
He pulls out a white t-shirt with screen-printed red spatters all over it, obviously made to look like it's stained with blood. He balls it up and tosses it to Nicole. She catches it with her free hand, turning her back to the others and holding the shirt out in front of her, letting it unfurl. The front of it bears a red and purple Group Therapy logo, the back boldly displaying the slogan "The Worst of Friends....The Best of Enemies" in a scribbled-looking red font.
Exile: "Yeah, I know I sure hate to have topless women around..."
His sarcastic retort is ignored by the others. KvK turns to catch CaRNiVaL eyeing Nicole's naked back and biting his lip. He leans to one side, trying to see around her and maybe catch a glimpse of some side boob, but notices KvK has caught him. He chuckles and winks at his old friend, shrugging his shoulders. Then he looks to his other side and sees that Malise is also looking at him, having caught him in the act. CaRn frowns, shaking his head as if to show disapproval. He looks directly into the camera, expression changing once more, this time into a salesman's wide grin.
CaRn: "That's the new Group Therapy t-shirt, available at all GIW events, as well as on the website for the low, low price of $18.99!"
He gives the camera a thumbs-up, his insincere-looking smile widening. Nicole finishes her exam of the shirt and slips her arms into it, raising them to pull the shirt on over her head. At that moment, Matt Damon's head pops out of a closet in front of her. His eyes bug out as he gets an eyeful of sweater kittens.
Matt Damon: "Whooo! Matt Damon!"
Nicole yanks the shirt on quickly, covering herself at last. She turns to KvK, huddling against him, looking at the closet with a smoldering gaze. But Matt Damon's head is gone just as suddenly as it appeared.
Nicole: "That guy saw my tits!"
KvK: "How does he DO it?"
CaRn: "He's Matt Damon."
KvK puts an arm around his wife, turns his gaze from the closet to the undead un-clown.
KvK: "Yeah, but he's always there JUST in time to see boobs. It's uncanny. I mean, I've always thought I had a sixth sense for when funbags are out, but that guy....it's like he can see into the future or something, so he knows right where and when there's gonna be a topless chick."
CaRn: "Like I said....he's Matt Damon."
Nicole: "This shirt feels rough on my nipples..."