Sentinel 25/01/10 Results

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: Welcome ladies and gentlemen to another edition of GIW Sentinel.

Hanson: This whole Monday thing has really thrown me out. Are we competing with Raw too now?

Vinegar: Um, I guess we must be.

Hanson: Does that mean we’re going to get bought out soon too?

Vinegar: I strongly doubt that.

Hanson: I bet that’s what they all say, then bam-

Vinegar: Knock it off, we’re not being bought out.

Hanson: You don’t know that.

Vinegar: I do so shut up. We’ve got more GIW action tonight including three more superstars qualifying for the Global Challenge and the Unified Global Champion will be in action. Before that though the GIW.com title is on the line as JK defends against both Tony Lindsey and KvK.

Hanson: Oh, that’s why those two are standing around not doing anything.

Vinegar: Well what did you think?

Hanson: I figured they’d been demoted to putting the ring together or sweeping the floors or something.

Vinegar: Honestly, they may not be far off but tonight at least they’re still competitors.

The arena goes deadly silent as the Globaltron goes to a blank screen. then out of nowhere "Storm Front" hits the P.A system as the lights flicker to green and gold. JK walks through the curtain and out onto the entrance way. JK looks up at the fans as he holds up the title in one hand and the other, an open hand, showing all fingers and the thumb, queuing fireworks to go off in set locations around the arena.

Dennis: The following contest is a triple threat match, scheduled for one fall and for the GIW.com championship! Already in the ring, Tony Lindsey and KvK! Making his way to the ring, from Townsville, Australia! Weighing in at 229lbs! The GIW.com champion! JaaaaaaaayKaaaaaaaaaay!!!

JK continues down to the ring, high-fiving the fans on the way. JK slides into the ring before climbing the turnbuckle and holding up the title.

Ding! Ding!

Vinegar: This one is underway and I expect we’re going to see a hard fought three way contest here.

Hanson: I wouldn’t get your hopes up.

Vinegar: You always say that.

KvK and Tony Lindsey instantly rush at JK as he gets off the turnbuckle and pin him into the corner as they unload with shots to the back and body as JK tries to cover up. The two of them start to stomp him down until he’s slumped over the bottom rope then both proceed to choke him with their boots. Hazel East quickly steps in to apply the count. Both men release at four.

Hanson: No I mean it though. Lindsey and KvK have hardly been impressive recently.

Vinegar: The belts on the line though. That’s enough to inspire anyone.

Hanson: You know honestly, I’m not sure KvK and Tony Lindsey are even aware there’s a title on the line.

Lindsey and KvK back up then both charge in an attempt to land heavy hip attacks. Instead they run into one another and each fall away to the adjacent ropes.

Hanson: See. Window lickers.

JK takes the opportunity to pull himself up. KvK and Lindsey recover themselves and attempt a double clothesline. JK rolls under it though and comes up with a split front dropkick. Both opponents spill out to the arena floor on different sides.

Vinegar: Impressive counter by JK there. It seems the ring can’t contain these men.

JK takes the time to cross the ring to the far turnbuckle and climb it to do his trademarked five finger pose while his opponents recover. It doesn’t take long for the two men to slide back into the ring. JK steps back just in time for them to rush him back into the corner a second time and unload with another barrage of shots.

Hanson: You’d have thought the champion would be ready for that the second time around.

This time JK is able to shove them both away. As they come back he pokes them both in the eyes.

Hanson: That’s more like it. Now kick them in the nuts kiddo.

JK runs a couple of steps and takes KvK down with a bulldog. He gets up as Lindsey recovers and takes a swing at him. JK blocks it and hits his own forearm shot. He starts driving him back with successive shots. Behind him KvK recovers. He attempts a clothesline but JK turns in time to see it and ducks. KvK carries on and clotheslines Tony Lindsey. JK quickly rolls KvK up with a school body.

Vinegar: First cover.

1!

2!

Vinegar: That was close but not enough.

Both men get up and KvK attempts a big boot. JK ducks it. As KvK’s leg hit’s the ground he gets hit with a big roundhouse kick by Lindsey. The kick spins him around, straight into JK’s Pele.

Vinegar: Pele! Pele! That shot hit him right on the top of the head!

Lindsey picks JK up and whips him across the ring. On the rebound, JK slides between Lindsey’s legs and gets back up. As the Psycho turns around JK grabs him by the head and throws him over the top rope behind him. Before either opponent can recover, JK pulls KvK back to his feet in the middle of the ring.

JK: Category Five!!

Vinegar: He’s looking to finish it right here.

As implied, JK lifts KvK onto his shoulders and nails him with the Cyclone.

Vinegar: JK with the cover.

1!

2!

Tony Lindsey slides in under the bottom rope but…

3!

…is too late.

Ding! Ding!

Dennis: Here is your winner and still GIW.com champion! JaaaaaaayKaaaaaaay!!!

Vinegar: A decisive defence from the young champion.

Hanson: Wasn’t I right?

Vinegar: About what?

Hanson: Was this a ‘hard fought contest’.

Vinegar: I think JK would say so.

Hanson: Well neither of you know anything.

Vinegar: If that’s the sum of your argument it’s probably best we move on. We’ve got a lot of action here tonight and we’re only just getting started.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

[The lights dim... “Divine” by Korn begins to echo throughout the arena. The fans know this music. It belongs to the “The Monster” Dredd. Dredd walks out on the stage; he is in everyday garb, a pair of jeans and a black shirt. In his left hand is a chair, in his right a microphone. He makes the gesture to cut the music and walks to the ring with nothing by crowd noise accompanying him. As he approaches the ring, he pauses and looks at the crowd before walking up the ring steps. He tosses the chair into the ring and steps over the top rope. In the ring, he sets the chair up and takes a seat.]

Dredd: Ya know... As much as I hate these twelve ropes and this singular piece of stretched canvas, I can’t get enough of it. The sound of my boots scuffing it’s surface. The sound skin slapping down against it from somewhere up there... [Dredd points to the ceiling, but is merely indicating an elevated position.] The twang of the ropes as a body rebounds back off them.

I hate the game. Hate it with a passion. Hate the way it drives to sleepless nights. Hate the way it pulls at the deepest recesses of my conscious to come back. Hate the way it controls me. But...

I love the game. Love it with a passion. Love the feeling of a challenge. Love the way I can release all those emotions on some poor sap. Love the way I feel when my fists pound against your flesh and you return the favour in kind... I love the challenge. The fight, I love the battle. But...

I hate the game.

So why am I here? I’m here for the fight. For everything I hate about the game... I love it more.

I’m not going to talk in circles; I am here to fill a hole in my psyche. I am here so I can sleep at night.

I am here to fight.

And your name is on my list... Alex Kiseragi... Randy Boolzian... Travis Roberts... [Dredd stands up.] And anyone else that wants to stand toe-to-toe, face-to-face, eye-to-eye.

I will fight you!

[Dredd drops the microphone and steps over the top rope and walks up the ramp to the sounds of “Divine” by Korn echoing throughout the arena.]

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Hanson: So what’s next?

Vinegar: Huh, seriously Dan these mood swings have to stop.

Hanson: No they don’t! See I was thinking, right. And thinking hard too! I was all depressed about my situation and what not, but really what good was that ever going to do? Then it hit me! I can just so like totally sell off some of the memorabilia I’ve collected over the years in the GIW.

Vinegar: Memorabilia?

Hanson: YEAH! It’s gonna suck parting with some of these great iconic items, but it beats the hell outta not eating for another week.

Vinegar: Where’s my dollar?

Hanson: In YO MOMMAs cooch! See that’s one of them! Call me up loyal GI-dub fans and I Daniel ‘H-Train’ Hanson will leave you a special voice message! All for the low, LOW, price of 19.99!

Vinegar: That’s not really memorabilia.

Hanson: Bitch YO MOMMAs not memorable! But aight! How about the heating pad Boss P used to use to keep his flightless bird ass warm? I’d be willing to part with that for say a hundo even. I’ll even cough up the shipping and handling.

Vinegar: Boss P was a penguin. They prefer the cold.

Hanson: What? Bullshit. Bones told me he found it in that oily mother fuckers office after he got his ass removed from power.

Vinegar: How much did you pay for that?

Hanson: 30 fucking dollars! Bones I’ma kick your fossil ass! FUCK! Let’s get this match going so someone can recap it, and I can get my money back.

Vinegar: You got 30 dollars for Bones, but you don’t have my dollar. Ugh. Folks it’s the long awaited return of the Crimson Ghost, he takes on Malise, and it’s next!

Hanson: Oh fuck this. See you next match.

Dennis: Ladies and Gentlemen… well mostly gentlemen I imagine are going to be watching this match. Introducing first, standing five foot five inches, and weighting in at… nope momma said never say a woman’s weight. This is Malise!

Acid Bath’s “Finger Paintings of the Insane” hits over the system, the lights flashing and then dissolving it’s a flurry, enough to make the epileptics in the crowd sorry they’ve come to this particular show.

Turning the knife
Buried in your stomach
I woke up alive black with stain
Glistening and new the sunset's coming...
Coming... coming... Coming
Finger paintings of the insane

Malise comes swaying out from the backstage area, dancing to the music, her blonde hair swinging into her face as she starts head banging to the music, her hair making a halo around her head. She stops, throwing her hands up, and skips down to the ring, her platform heels making loud clacking sounds as they strike the ramp. She slaps hands with the fans who hold theirs out, smacking foreheads of the ones who are close enough and don’t. Reaching the ring, she leaps up onto the apron and, grasping the top rope, flips herself into the ring, landing smoothly on her feet. She smoothes her dress down and curtsies to the crowd before moving off and waiting for the match to begin.

Vinegar: I shouldn’t be surprised Dan left. Wish I had someone to talk to, though to be honest it’s better that he’s gone so I don’t have to listen to him verbally ejaculate all over Malise.

Dennis: And her opponent standing almost a full foot taller and weighting almost an even 100 pounds fatter… uh heavier, this is the, THE, Crimson Ghost!

That rockin', rockin' groove by the Jackson 5’s ‘Dancing Machine’ hits the PA system, and Ghost grooves out, to a massive pop and fan approval. Dance-walks and high fives fans, and does a slight moonwalk before rushing and sliding into the ring, bouncing like a boxer somewhat and facing his opponent.

Vinegar: I’m really looking forward to this.

The match starts with nothing. Malise attempts a collar elbow tie up but Ghost backs off. Then Ghost attempts an elbow and collar tie down but Malise forwards on. Eventually as soon as both seem on the same page Malise holds her hands out to pause Ghost. Ghost being the gentlespecter obliges. Malise reaches into her blouse and begins feeling for something to the delight of crowd. Eventually she pulls out a chocolate dipped soft serve ice cream cone and offers it to The Crimson Ghost. Ghost looks to the crowd for advice, then looks at Malise, the crowd, the cone, Malise, the cone, the crowd, Malise’s tits, the crowd, the cone. Finally The Crimson Ghost has made up his mind reaches out, past the cone, and peaks inside Malise’s top to see what other frozen treats she might be hiding in there.

Malise, of course objects and Ghost gets an eyeful of ice cream. He backs up, Malise chases, then Ghost holds up his hands for a time out. Malise thinks about it, then allows the pause. Ghost pulling up the sleeves of his spandex leotard shows the crowd and his opponent that there’s nothing up there. Then slowly, while Malise eyes him carefully, he reaches behind her ear and pulls out a lovely teddy bear! He offers the toy to his opponent, she accepts eagerly, and begins hugging the bear immediately before trying to hug the Crimson Ghost.

This is the opening he needed to scoop her up into an Airplane Spin before getting dizzy himself and letting her go. She drops to all fours as he rebounds off the ropes and into an Oklahoma Roll for the three count from Matt Damon while Glen Burke watches on.

Dennis: Uh… right. So you’re winner of this ’match’ is the Crimson Ghost, or something. I guess.

Hanson: Whoa, I’m back. Wait is that Matt Damon?

Vinegar: Who?

Hanson: There were boobs weren’t there?

Vinegar: Kind of.

Hanson: Fucking Bones!

Vinegar: Did you get your money back?

Hanson: I got something better!

Vinegar: Better?

Hanson: That’s right! I got Marlo’s mask!

Vinegar: Who’d want that? Who’d even know who Marlo was?

Hanson: Damnit.

Vinegar: I’m never getting my dollar back am I?

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Calypso is helping Donovan get his gear ready in his locker room, when Owen Peterson walks in carrying the Unified Title, and he hands it in the locker.

Hastings: You're coming back for that before my match later, yes?

Peterson: Of course.

Hastings: Alright. We'll see you then.

Peterson: How do you want me to handle this Travis stuff?

Hastings: What do you mean?

Peterson: I've got his match next, Global Challenge qualifier.

Hastings: So?

Peterson: I think he's hurt?

Hastings: So?

Peterson: Well, that probably hurts his chances of winning the match.

Hastings: So?

Calypso: Sew buttons on a shirt.

They both glance at her.

Hastings: What's your point, Owen?

Peterson: He got hurt protecting you last week.

Hastings: Don't cry over spilt blood.

Peterson: What does that mean?

Calypso: You're asking him for meaning?

Hastings: I think it would be prudent to be cautious until we know for certain what his intentions and motivations are.

Peterson: So how do I handle this match?

Donovan smiles.

Hastings: It is not about the destination...the reward is in the journey.

Peterson: Okay?

Hastings: Let him win on his own.

Peterson: And if he can't?

Hastings: So be it.

Owen nods, and leaves the locker room.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: Welcome back ladies and Gentlemen, and what a match we have for you, the returning Dredd, verses the new superstar signed to the roster just this week, Greg Berrien.

Hanson: Who??

Vinegar: Greg Berrien.

Hanson:.......Never heard of him.

Vinegar: Of course you haven’t, you never check when we have new superstars...you rely on me for that.

Hanson: What’s the point of finding shit out about them if over half never even show up for their first fight? Do you want me to list those so-called ‘Talents’?

Vinegar: No, I think...

Hanson: Number one, Jack Frozt, that guy who got raped by drunken ostriches...

Vinegar: God I’m wishing that they get Enigma to replace you.

Hanson: Yeah, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that show...how much did they pay you for that?

Vinegar: I did it for free. It was a charity event.

Hanson: Pfft, you idiot, you could have charged ‘em for your services.....just like yo momma!

Mitchell: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! In the ring, from Manhattan, New York, weighing in at 180lbs and standing at an even six feet, ‘The Bi-Polar Hi-Roller’ GREG BEEEEEEEEERIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEENNNN!

Vinegar: What? Oh god, we talked right over his entrance.

Hanson: Uh oh, that can’t be good for this pretend emo.

The arena lights dim, and the opening of ‘Divine’ begins to play. Pyro explodes down the sides of the ride to the ring in a cascading fashion and Dredd walks out onto the stage. A single spotlight illuminates him as he walks to the ring.

Mitchell: and his opponent, from Deep Ellum, Texas, weighing in at 385lbs and standing at an even seven feet, two inches, ‘The Monster’ DREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!

As Dredd reaches the ring, a single large explosion of ring post pyro goes off and the arena lights return to normal.

Hanson: Yeap, something tells me emo jeans will be having a hard first match in the GIW....may even be his last one if it’s against this dude...

Vinegar: for once, I agree with you Hanson, things definitely do NOT bode well for ‘The Bi-Polar Hi-Roller’; we have seen Dredd do much harm to bigger opponents during his tenure in the GIW ring.

Hanson: There is the bell, and I don’t think that Greg has even realised that you should pay attention to people like Dredd.

Vinegar: And there’s why, Dredd with a HUGE right hand, and now Berrien is out of it. Dredd with the first cover of the match!

East: ONE!

TWO!!

Vinegar: And Dredd breaks the pin by raising Berrien’s arm. He’s not done torturing the poor young superstar.

Hanson: I knew it; gay little emos never make it out in one piece.

Vinegar: Might wanna watch what you say there partner, you don’t want to get sued again.

Hanson: Ah what’s going to happen, He’ll take all my money? If he tries than he’s stupider than he looks. It won’t be enough to pay his legal fees....damn it....

Vinegar: In that time, Dredd has picked Berrien up, thrown him into the ropes, and hit a big boot right into ‘The Bi-Polar Hi-Roller’s’ head. Now he’s picking him up a second time, and hitting him with a huge back body drop, and now laying in those vicious stomps into the side of the head, and I think that last shot just broke his nose!

Hanson: Hey, he actually looks better with a broken nose.

Vinegar: Dredd still not done torturing Berrien, and oh.....here we go, ‘The Bi-Polar Hi-Roller’ springing into offence with those lefts and rights, but that is only momentarily stunning the bigger man, who just pushes Berrien right back off.

Hanson: And the idiotic emo kid just goes right back to punching Dredd...look ‘The Monster’ is just standing there, they aren’t even hurting him.

Vinegar: Berrien trying for a deep amateur wrestling style arm drag, but he can’t even budge Dredd. Dredd pulls the young man in and OH MY! THAT CLOTHESLINE DAMN NEARLY TOOK BERRIENS HEAD CLEAN OFF HIS SHOULDERS!

Hanson: Hahaha! It’s quite entertaining watching rookies get hurt against veterans like Dredd.

Vinegar: I don’t know how it’s entertaining watching someone get hurt like that...

Hanson: That’s why people watch wrestling Grandpa.

Vinegar: nonetheless we may need some medical attention for Berrien....this is just a brutal squash match!

Hanson: Brutal equal’s ratings Nicola...don’t like it? Watch Bold and the Beautiful where people cry for half an hour straight.

Vinegar: Oh god, that would be boring television...Dredd seemingly not finished here, hoisting Berrien up onto the top rope, now he’s climbing on the bottom rope, he’s grabbed Berrien, and OH! WHAT A POWER BOMB!

Hanson: HA! Look at him crying there...

Vinegar: I don’t think he’s crying partner, but he is sure hurt badly, he may have a slipped disc to go with his broken nose.

Hanson: Emo kid knew what he was getting into when he signed the contract to GIW. I think there is a disclaimer that any personal injury sustained while in the ring is not the companies fault or something...

Vinegar: Yes, most companies have that. Hazel East now checking on the lifeless Berrien, but Dredd doesn’t seem to care at all. He’s picked up Berrien and has him set up....oh no.....

Hanson: What?

Vinegar: looks like Greg Berrien’s neck is going to get much worse, CONCRETE PILE DRIVER!

DING! DING! DING!

Vinegar: That’s it, but I don’t have any idea who has this one.

Mitchell: Ladies and Gentlemen, due to Dredd completely owning him in the ring, referee Hazel East, has deemed Greg Berrien unable to continue, therefore the winner, ‘The Monster’ DREEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hanson: Wow, I don’t think we’ve had a stoppage for some time.

Vinegar: Trainers and EMT’s are rushing out here, Berrien hasn’t moved since that power bomb from the bottom rope, he could be seriously injured.

Hanson: Here comes the stretcher, and all I can say while they cart off his crying ass is, cheer up Emo Kid!

Vinegar: Nice Hanson, a man may have just had his career ended before it even began. We’ll be right back.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: It’s been an action-packed night so far here on Sentinel, and it’s only going to heat up next, as we’ve got our second of three Global Challenge qualifying matches here tonight!

Hanson: I protest this match.

Vinegar: Why’s that?

Hanson: This is WAY too early in the night for Travis Roberts to be on the card.

Vinegar: You’d rather he wasn’t on it at all?

Hanson: That’s a low blow, Nick…a low blow.

Vinegar: In any case, Chassie Fear, Jet Somers, and the Crimson Ghost have all already qualified for the Global Challenge, who is next to join them?

Hanson: That’s a serious question?

“Bummer”

Mitchell: The following match is a Global Challenge Qualifying Match! Introducing first, weighing in at 220 lbs, TRAVIS ROBBBBBBBBBBBBERRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTSSSSS!!!!!

Vinegar: Travis Roberts coming to the ring, still apparently suffering the effects of that horrendous Death in Vegas last week.

Hanson: What makes you say that?

Vinegar: He is wearing a neck brace.

Hanson: Listen, Nick, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

“The Crusade”

Mitchell: And his opponent, weighing in at 225 lbs, WILLIAM RIVERRRRRRRRSSSSSSS!!!!!

Vinegar: With Roberts still dealing with that injury suffered last week, this might be an opportunity to Rivers to pull off a major upset!

Hanson: I would be upset. I hope Travis kicks his ass.

Vinegar: Well, that’s to be expected.

Hanson: Well yeah, the usual stuff, but on top of that, anybody that wears Abercrombie shit needs their ass beat six ways from Sunday.

Vinegar: I’ll keep that in mind.

DING DING!

Hanson: Of course, this is all a TRLAOCIAFSOS, you of course realize that.

Vinegar: I’m sure it is. Roberts with a hammerlock take down to open this match, looking for a pinning predicament, but Rivers manages to escape. Roberts likely looking to finish this match quickly and prevent more damage to that injured neck.

Hanson: We cannot even begin to fathom the strategizing that is the Blessed One.

Vinegar: Roberts with an irish whip into the corner, but Rivers reverses it, and Roberts goes hard into the corner!

Hanson: Look out, Travis, LOOK OUT!

Vinegar: Rivers just came into the corner with a high knee, right into the head of Travis Roberts, and now he’s pulling Roberts out of the corner AND HE SENDS HIM SHOULDER FIRST THROUGH THE ROPES INTO THE POST!

Hanson: Peterson should put a stop to this!

Vinegar: What would you say if the situation was reversed?

Hanson: Well, stuff like this is smart when Travis does it.

Vinegar: I thought so. Roberts on the mat now, Rivers standing over him, Rivers setting up now AND HE HITS THE RIVERDANCE!

Hanson: Repeated blows to the neck! This isn’t right to do to the Headliner!

Vinegar: Rivers with the cover!





ONE!!!!!!!!!!!





TWO!!!!!!!!!!





Vinegar: Roberts gets the shoulder up!

Hanson: But how much damage has been done, after those shots to his injured neck!

Vinegar: And remember that Roberts suffered that injury at the hands of Dirge when he essentially stepped between Dirge and Hastings, the man that took the Unified Title from Roberts to begin with!

Hanson: What’s Rivers doing now?

Vinegar: He’s taking off the brace!

Hanson: Somebody stop this! Tell the Niglet to get in there!

Vinegar: Owen Peterson is just watching the events as they unfold, and Rivers has the brace in his hand now, holding it up and shouting at the crowd, and he throws it out of the ring now as Travis stirs.

Hanson: Travis needs that!

Vinegar: Rivers pulling Travis up now…but Travis surprises him with a kick to the chest!

Hanson: WHITE OUT!!!!!!!!!!

Vinegar: Travis Roberts hit the White Out, and he collapses on top of Rivers!





ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




Mitchell: Here is your winner, qualifying for the Global Challenge, TRAVIS ROBBBBBBERRRRRRRTTTTSSSSS!!!!!

Hanson: Now get him his neck brace back!

Vinegar: Roberts holding that injured neck, he must be in terrible pain, but he gets the victory here tonight, and he will be a part of this year’s Global Challenge to find the Heart and Soul of GIW!

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

We cut to a shot backstage in what is still the ransacked locker room of Randy Boolzian. BoolZ and Grace diligently work to straighten up the carnage left by Vladimir Ulysys until BoolZ stops suddenly. His eyes wide as his stares to the ground near the refrigerator. Grace notices, approaches, and finally sees a crushed can of Red Bull laying in a pool of its own spilt contents.

Grace: I bet it was Communists.

BoolZ: …

Grace: Dirty stinking contract negotiating Communists.

BoolZ: It was so young.

Grace: Dirty stinking home buying Communists.

BoolZ: Had its whole life in front of it.

Grace: Do you even follow the GIW? What do you do all week?

BoolZ: Huh?

Grace: It was Vladimir Ulysys that did this.

BoolZ: Who?

Grace: Big Russian. Looks like the bad guy from Rocky IV. Hangs out with Tim Kingsley.

BoolZ: …

Grace: The Space Cadet. Bad hair comes out with a laser gun.

BoolZ: Oh yeah! I love that entrance. What about him?

Grace: I bet he did this.

BoolZ: Wwwhhhhhaaaattt?

Grace: Yeah. I saw the segment shot earlier while waiting for you.

BoolZ: I’ll kill him.

We cut back to a shot at ringside as Hanson and Vinegar get ready to banter before the next match.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: Now here is a match-up I’ve been looking forward to.

Hanson: Why? I bet-

Vinegar: Yes, we get it, you only enjoy Travis Roberts and Donovan Hastings matches. Change the tune.

Hanson: Did you see him kick that kids ass?

Vinegar: Yes I was right here. It was five minutes ago.

Hanson: Well you don’t always play proper attention.

Vinegar: I’m not even going to go into how hypocritical that is. Now we’ve got one of the first men to qualify for the Global Challenge, Jet Somers, taking on, I suppose one half of the Tag team Champions, Randy Boolzian and- what’s that?

Hanson: Disease mask.

Vinegar: Disease mask?

Hanson: Like everyone was wearing when they were scared of Swine Flu.

Vinegar: Right…why?

Hanson: Foolzian’s body is a breeding ground for sexually transmitted diseases. Who knows how they could have evolved in his body. They may have become airborne.

Vinegar: Um, well…nope, I’ve got nothing.

Hanson: That’s what you think.

Vinegar: I meant…never mind.

A silhouette resembling Jet Somers appears in the distance of the hallway, walking toward the screen. A distorted and distant Mark Collie wails: 'In time, your time will be no more...,' and the vertical control suddenly flips out as Nonpoint's "Everybody Down" hits hard and Jet runs out from behind the curtain. He runs to the edge of the stage and pumps his fist in the air a few times.

Dennis: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Deep Creek Mississippi. Weighing in at 185lbs! The Wild Card, Jet Someeeers!!!

Vinegar: Somers has been on a consistent rise since appearing here in GIW. A win against a competitor like BoolZ will certainly push his career to the next level.

Hanson: And now I’m stuck with the dilemma of deciding between boring grumpy-pants or disease bag doesn’t-like-the-Headliner.

Vinegar: Your nicknaming needs work.

Hanson: I was pressed for time.

At 'And when I stomp you' Jet sprints down the ramp, slapping hands in the crowd as he goes, running to leap onto the apron of the ring. He grabs the rope with one hand and pumps the other fist in the air on each 'Everybody Down!' chant of the chorus. Jet finally steps in, bouncing on the balls of his feet and throwing shadow punches to warm up.

The lights go dim, the sound of a Red Bull popping open, then a Zippo being struck is heard, then Wonder What’s Next by Chevelle blasts over the P.A. system. The words ‘Red’ ‘Bull’ ‘Icon” flash over the big screen giving off enough light for BoolZ to make his way to the ring with a cigarette in his lips a can of ice cold Red Bull in his hand and the tag title belt dragging along the floor behind him.

Dennis: And his opponent! From Oceanside, California! Weighing in at 220lbs! He is one half of the GIW Tag Team Champions! The Red Bull Icon, Randy Boolziiiiaaaaaaaaaaaan!!!

BoolZ climbs the steps, and enters the ring between the second and third rope before smiling and waving to the crowd. BoolZ finishes his smoke and Red Bull.

Vinegar: This one about ready to go.

Ding! Ding!

Vinegar: There’s the bell and this sure to be exciting competitive contest is underway.

BoolZ shoots for a collar and elbow tie up but Jet instead throws a jab at BoolZ’s face. BoolZ ducks aside it though and takes Jet down with a snapmare, following it up with a hard kick to the spine.

Vinegar: We saw that counter from Jet last week but it seems BoolZ had it well scouted.

BoolZ dances around the ring shadow boxing while Jet gets back to his feet.

Hanson: Yeah, I’m definatly backing Ugly McStraight-edge this time. No-one trumps BoolZ on the hate scale.

Vinegar: I didn’t think so.

As Jet gets to his feet BoolZ stops dancing and puts his hands up like a boxer. Jet does the same as BoolZ starts jabbing at him. Jet backs off at first, swatting shots away before countering on with a looping left hook that knocks BoolZ onto his ass.

Hanson: Did I walk into the wrong arena? I thought this was a wrestling match.

Jet quickly drops down to his knees next to BoolZ and starts trying to drop hammer fists on his head as BoolZ tries to get away. Glenn Burke quickly gets in to separate them.

Vinegar: Whether accidentally or intentionally I think BoolZ made Jet forget where he is and he’s being told off for those closed fists.

Hanson: You’d think he’d have learned by now wouldn’t you?

BoolZ gets back to his feet as Burke steps aside for the men to go back to it. They lock up briefly and BoolZ locks in a side headlock. BoolZ spins behind Jet and takes him down, floats over and paint brushes him before he gets up. Jet leaps up to his feet and tackles BoolZ, rushing him into the corner.

Vinegar: Somers not taking kindly to the disrespect being shown to him by the Red Bull Icon.

Jet straightens up and unloads with a series of forearm shots that rock BoolZ back. He follows up with an Irish whip across the ring. He follows in after him and hit’s a running back elbow that slumps BoolZ down, then starts to stomp him in the corner. Burke again breaks them up.

Hanson: Burke you fool, get out of the way!

Burke does get out of the way as BoolZ has managed to pull himself up to his feet. As Jet comes back in BoolZ puts his boot into his face. He charges out of the corner and takes Jet down with a clothesline. Jet quickly gets up but BoolZ knocks him down again. When Jet gets up a third time BoolZ takes him over with a snap suplex.

Vinegar: Momentum back on the side of the Red Bull Icon.

Hanson: Dammit Jet. How are you going to win the Global Challenge if you can’t beat BoolZ?

BoolZ drags Jet back up to his feet and whips him into the corner and follows him in.

Vinegar: No fly zone! RBI crushes him with the No Fly Zone.

BoolZ pulls Jet back up and hit’s a northern lights suplex, bridging for the pin.

Vinegar: Here’s a cover.

1!

2!

Hanson: No, kick out by Somers.

BoolZ drags Jet back up again and leans him into the ropes as he whips him across the ring. He leapfrogs him on the rebound then hits him with a dropkick as he comes back again. BoolZ heads to the corner and climbs up. When he gets to the top, Jet leaps to his feet and rushes over. He shoves BoolZ’s legs out from under him then hits him with a jumping roundhouse kick to the head. BoolZ slumps forward and falls back into the ring.

Hanson: Yes! Kick his stupid head off.

Vinegar: Jet with the cover this time.

1!

2!

Vinegar: Last second kick out by BoolZ.

Hanson: Dammit. So close.

Vinegar: Jet’s reclaimed control of this match though.

Jet pulls BoolZ to his feet this time. He ties him up in a Muay Thai clinch and puts knees to his body. He spins him around into the middle of the ring and hits him with a spinning back fist that drops him. Jet steps up beside him and lands a standing moonsault.

Vinegar: Lateral press. Another cover by the Wild Card.

1!

2!

Vinegar: Another kick out by Randy Boolzian.

Hanson: Jet goes for the armbar though.

Vinegar: He’s got it locked in. He finished KvK with this hold only a week ago.
Jet locks in a tight armbar and has his own body between BoolZ and the ropes. RBI is clearly in pain from the grimace on his face and he has no clear way of escaping.

Vinegar: That hold is locked in tight! BoolZ might have to tap out right here!

BoolZ struggles and is eventually able to get his head free from under Jet’s leg. He rolls over and braces his free hand against his locked up one. With a grunt he heaves the smaller man up off the mat, then drops him down with a modified brain buster.

Hanson: Jet, you suck!

Vinegar: Great counter by the red Bull Icon to escape that hold but the damage has been done to that arm.

BoolZ gets to his feet, clutching his shoulder and makes his way to the corner. He climbs out onto the apron and up to the top turnbuckle. Jet slowly gets up to his feet and-

Vinegar: BoolZ hit’s the Tumble Weed from the top rope!

Jet gets shot across the ring and bounces off the ropes then lands on his face. BoolZ quickly sweeps him up, drags him into the middle of the ring and hits him with the-

Vinegar: DiscomBoolZalator!!!

Hanson: No!

Vinegar: Cover!

1!

2!

3!

Ding! Ding!

Dennis: Here is your winner! The Red Bull Icon, Randy Boolziiiiaaaaaaaaaan!!!

Jet rolls himself out of the ring, clutching his head as BoolZ gets passed his tag title belt from the outside. He holds it up half heartedly on one side of the ring.

Vinegar: A hard fought contest but The Red Bull Icon pulls out a convincing victory.

BoolZ walks back across to the other side of the ring and leans lazily on the ropes as he holds the belt up.

Behind him, a man with a buzz cut wearing a black t-shirt carrying a chair jumps over the crowd barriers and slides into the ring under the bottom rope.

Vinegar: Uh oh. Who the hell is that?

Hanson: I don’t know but I’ve got a good feeling.

BoolZ turns back and gets nailed with the chair.

Hanson: Yes! Right in the face! Wooooooo!

Vinegar: Who the hell is that man and why is he attacking Randy Boolzian?

Hanson: Who cares? Just enjoy the moment!

The man throws the chair down, narrowly missing hitting BoolZ with it again. He looks around and his eye catches the tag team title belt. He picks it up as he stands over the fallen RBI, has feet either side of the man’s torso. The newcomer barks something at BoolZ that we don’t hear while shaking the belt in front of him. Eventually he raises it up over his head proudly, raising his other arm victoriously with it to a chorus of boos. Finally he drops the belt so it lands draped over BoolZ’s face and walks away, dropping out under the bottom rope and walking away to the back.

Hanson: I don’t know who that guy is but I like him.

Vinegar: What a vicious unprovoked attack.

Hanson: Oh it was one chair shot. We’ve seen much worse than that.

Vinegar: That’s not the point.

Hanson: It kinda is.

Vinegar: Bah. No time to argue about it. Next up we’ve got the final Global Challenge qualifier of the night as Dirge takes on The Space Cadet, Tim Kingsley. Don’t go anywhere.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Hanson: No wait I got it!

Vinegar: VD?

Hanson: YO MOMMA still waiting for the results?

Vinegar: *sigh* Got what?

Hanson: An idea to make my money back!

Vinegar: Very good. Let’s send it to Dennis! Dirge versus Tim Kingsley is next for a spot in the Global Challenge!

Dennis: Ladies and Gentlemen!...

Hanson: NO NO NO FUCK THIS! You’re going to hear my idea damnit! I’ve lost my money, my ho’s are all broke, and eventually that god damned FoolZ’s dog is gonna pee on me. I know this because I’m Daniel f’n Hanson and that’s just my luck. So the least you can do is sit there and patronize me by pretending to listen to my brilliant scheme of how to get back my money that I only lost because I was doing my damn job.

Hanson:…

Hanson:…

Vinegar: Yeah, see you went and got your mic cut. Mitchell if you will.

Dennis: Introducing first standing five foot almost six feet, weighting in at 221 pounds, he is a Space Cadet, this is Tim Kingsley!

A hush falls over the crowd as flames start to leap out of the stage way. David Bowie’s ‘Life of Mars’ hits the PA system, to a huge pop by the audience as "space cadet" Tim Kingsley begins to appear out of the floor of the stage way, holding his trademark "laser gun" once he is fully out on the stage way, he lifts his head up, and shoots the "laser" triggering several fireworks around the lighting above the ring itself. Kingsley continues to walk down the ramp, saluting several people in the audience before sliding into the ring, climbing one of the turnbuckles and pretending to fire the laser out into the audience.

Vinegar: You can shout all you want Dan no one is going to hear you but me. AW MY EARS! STOP SHOUTING!

Dennis: And his opponent standing six foot nine inches, tipping the scales at 326 pounds, his is the Covenant Colossus, this is Dirge!

Almost as if on cue “The One You Love to Hate” begins to blare through the arena as the lights drop and “MOMENTUM KILLER” flashes across the tron in huge gold letters. A few moments later the bass drum and drum beat starts and a video plays of Dirge driving an opponent head first into the canvas with the “Death In Vegas” before standing up and raising his hands. After a few moments the lyrics start.

“You may not like the future and we’re not here to please you...we’ll take you to the killing floor.”

“You think you want to know me. You think you want to own me, but I have nothing you can buy.”

“I can break you.”

As the lyrics say “break you” it shows Dirge demolishing JK with the “Respect is Earned”, leaving him in a heap.

“I can raise you.”

The video shows Dirge holding a Championship Belt over his head as a huge grin sits on his face.

“Bring you to your knees...”

The video shows Dirge flattening Carnival.

“Because I’m the one you love to hate !”

The video package shows Dirge standing with the RAWF World Heavyweight Championship held overhead as a furious audience is shown booing hatefully at him. His face is covered by a satisfied, ear to ear smile.

After this plays strobe lights flash for a few moments before suddenly going out as two spotlights shine onto the stage. They stay settled on that spot for a few moments before Dirge comes walking out to the ring with a gigantic and utterly obnoxious smirk of unshakable confidence on his face. The RAWF World Heavyweight and ICW Television Championship each adorn a shoulder. Behind him Erik Drugonov and David Damarest walk out and stand a few steps away, Erik with his arms folded across his chest and Damarest with his hands behind his back and an evil smirk on his face. Dirge stands and soaks in the raw hatred of the crowd before arrogantly adjusting the collar of his leather coat and slowly sauntering down to the ring, with Erik and David a few steps behind him.

Once he gets there he waits for Erik to walk up to his right side and Damarest to his left and hands each one of them one of the two Championships before he grabs the top rope and steps up onto the apron. He saunters to center ring and stands there silently with his arms folded across his chest as Erik and Damarest walk around the ring, up the steps and then enter the ring. They walk up a few steps behind Dirge and stand there with the two Championships resting on one of their shoulders each. Dirge waits for them to get into the ring and once they're there, Dirge takes both Championships from them, one in each hand and holds them high overhead. The fans boo the blatant showboating, which only draws a smile from him. After turning to all four corners of the ring and displaying the Championships he turns to his opponent and holds the two Championships out, blatantly showing them off to that person. He stands like that with an obnoxious grin on his face before finally handing the belts back to Erik and Damarest. After that he smirks and laughs at the person then backs into his corner and lets the referee check him. Once that happens, Dirge removes his leather coat and his shirt and hands them to Erik, who promptly leaves the ring, along with Damarest.

Vinegar: Maybe I could pull a Joey Styles and do this alone. Mrs. Levene might be right.

Hanson: …

Vinegar: Yeah that shut you up.

The match starts with Kingsley using his speed to avoid Dirge’s size while popping off drop kicks, sidekicks, chops, and the like when he can. The size and strength of Dirge is just too much however as he catches Kingsley in the air after an ill advised flying cross body block attempt. A fall away slam later grounds the Space Cadet for a series of huge downward stomps. Dirge firmly in control utilizes his arsenal of high impact pain to maintain position. Even going so far as to have flashes of the old Dirge peek through by breaking Hazel East’s count on more than one occasion to continue the match or shout something unintelligible to Travis Roberts through the camera.

Dirge sets Kingsley up for an over head wheelbarrow suplex, releases the throw sending the Space Cadet into the air, but Kingsley somehow manages to land on his feet on the apron, scale the post, and deliver a stunning UFO to Dirge taking the big man off his feet. Kingsley opens up again going with his speed and taking to the air and ‘stuff like that’.

After a kick out at 2 from Dirge however the Momentum Killer lives up to his name by delivering a discus elbow rebounding out of the corner after an attempted avalanche from Kingsley. Dirge back in control starts to look for the finish landing a running mafia kick to the corner, shoots Kingsley to the ropes, and then destroys him with a lethal lariat-o.

Dirge stands back up rather than making the cover, and spots Vladimir Ulysys at ringside shouting the evils of Capitalism. Dirge smirks self assuredly before turning his attention back to Kingsley. From nowhere BoolZ storms to ringside with a chair and begins working over Ulysys with shot after shot while Ulysys refuses to be taken off his feet.

Hanson: See I told you it was just one chair shot earlier, and that we'd seen worse, he's back and able to ruin yet another match, despite being atatcked by a heroic stranger just minutes ago!

Dirge lifts a flailing Kingsley, who accidently kicks Hazel East, into the Move You Love to Hate while Ulysys escapes into the ring from an unrelenting BoolZ. Dirge hits the MYLtH while BoolZ follows Ulysys into the ring with the chair. Vlad stands on the chair before BoolZ can get to his feet, and then proceeds to kick the Red Bull Icon repeatedly to keep him down. Dirge goes for a cover unfortunately East is still laying on the mat after the kick. Ulysys hoists RBI into a gorilla press, and then pitches him into the ringside seats. Satisfied Vladimir turns just in time to get leveled by a chair swinging Greater Evil. Vlad now out of the ring, Kingsley slowly getting back to his feet, Dirge still holding the chair, and East sitting up calls for the bell.

In a manner to refuses to show shock Dirge stands quietly while East now on her feet conveys the result to Mitchell Dennis.

Dennis: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner via disqualification, Tim Kingsley!

An irate Dirge levels the female referee with the chair before sending the first shot to Kingsley, exiting the ring to give another shot to Vlad, and for good measure one to BoolZ who’d taken the break outside to get to know one of the females in attendance.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: Well we’re really rolling through this show at a great pace, it feels like the action just isn’t stopping tonight, and after a very....wordy show last week, I gotta say I’m enjoying the change.

Hanson: It’s been a strange night, Tim Kingsley progressing to the Global Challenge must be considered one of the biggest shocks in recent GIW history.

Vinegar: It may have been a confusing situation, but Hazel East made the decision she felt best suited the scenario, I’m sure Dirge won’t be best pleased about that. Travis Roberts on the other hand made his way through relatively easily, as did last years Semi Finalist the Crimson Ghost.

Hanson: So the only people in ‘The Blessed Ones’ way are jet Somers, Chassie Fear, Crimson Ghost and Tim Kingsley? He’s got it covered...

Vinegar: That’s pure speculation, especially as there are three more slots up for grabs, you can be certain Dirge will be given one last chance. But rather than speculating about his future, let concentrate on ours, which is going to involve your favourite superstar Alex Kiseragi...

Hanson: I’ve never been behind Raenius more than tonight, I hope the masked freak goes medieval on the jailbait dating paedo...

Vinegar: Do you ever learn?

“Teahouse”

Dennis: the next match is scheduled for one fall, introducing first, from San Francisco, California...ALLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEX KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGIIIIII!!!

Hanson: Here he comes, on his own again though, he used to let that Katie girl accompany him didn’t he? Where is she today?

Vinegar: Maybe he realises the squared circle is a dangerous place for a young lady to be...

Hanson: Or maybe the GIW Board realised their insurance wouldn’t cover minors and banned him from dragging her out here in a creepy manner...

Vinegar: Regardless of his company tonight, Alex has big plans for the future, having set up a training school, and this match, against the current Unified Global Championship Number One contender could put him right back in the mix at the very top of the card...

Hanson: God forbid, why can’t he just continue to languish in the Tag team Division where he belongs...

"Redneck"

Dennis: And his opponent, from Northern Ireland.....RAAAAAAAAAEEEEENIIIIIIUUUUUUUSSSSS!!!!

A macabre, dark purple light fills the arena with a sinister and misty disdain as our Resident Evil, Raenius, walks out slowly, proudly wearing his uCw Kings of Hardcore t-shirt, clearly showing it's print saying 'We Bleed For You' for the world to see. He stalks bestially down the aisle emanating hatred before he jumps up onto the apron, knee-first, and pulls himself upright using the ropes. He stands, looking out at the crowd for a few seconds before entering the ring.

Hanson: Let’s Go Raenius, Lets Go! Let’s Go Raenius, Let’s Go!

Vinegar: You are showing remarkable professionalism tonight.

Hanson: I thought so...

Vinegar: Owen Peterson is looking warily at Raenius who seem’s to be keeping one eye on The Unified Global Champions lackey...

Hanson: He’s no lackey...

Vinegar: Really?

Hanson: He’s a niglet!

Owen signals for the bell and the match is underway, A-Kis cautiously keeps his distance from The Resident Evil, and each man circles the ring for the a few moments, before A-Kis finally makes the first move, only for Raenius to step out of the way, but The Dragon react’s by swinging his leg sideways, and catching Raenius on the thight, bringing him to one knee. A-Kis speedily recovers his grip, and he slams his other foot into the side of Raenius’ skull, sending The Number 1 Contender onto the floor.

A-Kis for the next few moments, uses a number of holds to wear down various limbs on The Resident Evil’s body, arm bars, leg locks, head scissors’ all interlinked exceptionally. After a while of this it seem’s Raenius get’s frustrated with constantly trying to counter the technical prowess of A-kis and he jam’s his thumb deep into Alex’s right eye, and twists, causing The Dragon to break the holds, and recoil backwards clutching at his face.

Owen starts leaning into Raenius to warn him about such conduct, but The Resident Evil’s facer spins quickly and he stares Peterson in the eyes, who suddenly recoils also, without warning The Covenant’s most mysterious enigma...

The Dragion isn’t best pleased at this lack of discipline from Raenius, and complaisn vigorously at Owen Peterson who just shrugs, and raises his eyebrows whilst looking in Raenius’ direction. A-Kis couldn’t give a damn about Owen’s cowardice and continues to scream, only for Raenius to sidle up next to him and punch him, with a clenched fist, directly in the nutsack...

Owen again does nothing, as Alex looks at him imploringly as he slowly crumples to the floor holding his midsection. Raenius now takes no time in laying the boot’s in on A-Kis’ prone Body, and The Dragon uses all his wits just to co0ver up from the brutal soles. Raenius eventually bores and brings The Dragon to his feet and whips him against the ropes...

Only for A-Kis to leap, and perform a somersault neckbreaker, that levels the playing field dramatically once more, and more out of pure instinct than anything else, he rolls over and makes the cover. Only getting the two count, before Raenius kicks out and scrambles to his feet...waiting for A-Kis to rise...

Hanson: RIPPERSNAPPER!!!

Raenius drills A-Kis into the canvas with his trademark move and he also goes for the cover.

1...

2...

Vinegar: ‘The Dragon’ kicks out!

Raenius, senses the match could be coming to an end and he brings A-Kis to his feet again and whips him into the turnbuckle before charging in after him, only for the Dragon to spin out of ther way, using the ropes for momentum, sending Raenius mask first into the turnbuckle. A-Kis straightens up as Raenius turns around groggily....

Vinegar: YARI KICK!!!

A-Kis takes a little while to get to his feet, but he is soon back down, and covering Raenius...

1...

2...

Vinegar: FROM OUT OF NOWHERE, DIRGE BREAKS THE COVER WITH A LEG DROP TO THE BACK OF THE DRAGON’S HEAD!!!

Dirge gets to his feet, just in time to see Owen Peterson turning towards the timekeeper to motion to ring the bell, but Dirge grabs the GIW Official by the scruff of his neck, and he motions backstage and to his neck...prompting to remember what happen to Travis when he interfered in Covenant business...he then drops him and pats him on the head, before helping Raenius up....they both look at one another and then to A-Kis who gets to his feet...both members of The Covenant charge him, but the Dragon ducks the double clothesline attempt, and reaches back to take both men down with a double neckbreaker...

But it merely buys him time to grab a breather as both Raenius and Dirge get to their feet together...Raenius up quicker than Dirge who is on his knee’s...A-Kis springs to his feet to face his actual opponent the Resident Evil...who charges....and Dirge charges simultaneously and they hit the centre of A-Kis’ body as one....

Hanson: THE WMD

Raenius drops on top of A-Kis as Dirge directs Owen Peterson to fulfil the three count, which he does rapidly before quickly rolling from the ring, Raenius waving towards him as he goes...

Dennis: Here is your winner, RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAENIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIUUUUUUSSSS!

Hanson: I guess Dirge wasn’t too happy with what happened earlier, and decided to get some karmic retribution...

Vinegar: No-one involved with this match had anything to do with what happened earlier...and ‘The Dragon’ certainly didn’t deserved to be screwed and then demolished all in one go...he’s writhing in pain in the middle of the ring, and not for the first time tonight the paramedics are on route to the ring, pushing past Raenius and Dirge who both walk up the ramp, Raenius unmasked, and both men grinning evilly at the scene in the ring....

Hanson: Up next, The Unified Chief in action, so who really cares about what’s happened here, it’s only Kiseragi...I knew the universe would exert justice at some point...

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Hanson: It’s time, time for The Lord Chief’s second Main Event of 2010...

Vinegar: Notice how this week, when he’s not facing a handpicked goon to job out, the title miraculously isn’t on the line?

Hanson: Last week the Lord Chief was making a statement, this week he’s facign Chassie Fear. And she’s not Number 1 Contender is she? Wouldn’t be very fair if Raenius was wasting his time crippling Alex Kiseragi, which is best waste of time possible granted, whilst his less successful stable mate got a shot at glory...

Vinegar: You are as bad as Travis and Donovan for twisting reality...

Hanson: It’s all merely a matter of perspective.

Vinegar: It really does get dull you know, let’s just get these guys out here...

“Cyanide Sweet Tooth Suicide”

Dennis: The next match is our Main Event, and it is scheduled for one fall, introducing first, The Dark Rose, CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSIIIIIIIIIEE FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAARRRR!!!

Vinegar: Here is the member of The Covenant that on the outside, just does not seem to fit, the devoted mother and wife one minute, then trusted confidante of some of the sickest minds in the industry the next.

Hanson: I hope Hayleigh isn’t watching tonight, I’d hate such a sweet young girl to witness her mother’s humiliation at the hands of The Lord Chief. Does Chassie bring her along?

Vinegar: I do hope not, I cannot see The Covenant being the greatest babysitters....

Hanson: I’m more worried about her getting lost and stumbling across Alex Kiseragi...

Vinegar: Just stop.

Hanson: I haven’t got anything left to take, I figured this out earlier this week, I got nothing to lose anymore, A-Kis can take me to court all he wants, but I’ll just keep exposing another sordid little corner of his personal life....

Vinegar: You’ve got one hell of a load of retribution coming your way one of these days, bank on it.

Hanson: Pfft. I speak the truth, just because I am a journalist who isn’t afraid of the tough answers, to expose the lies, to fight the culture of sleaze and cover ups that go on in this industry, doesn’t mean you should resent me. I don’t respect you any less for not fighting the power, for just saying what they want to hear, I know you’re spineless, along with dimwittedness it’s your charm...but I’m going to fight till the end....they won’t keep the truth from those of us who want it!

“Immortal”

Dennis: introducing next, accompanied by Owen Peterson and The Unified Global Championship, from Hartford, Connecticut, DOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNOOOOOOVAAAAAAN HAAAAAAASSSSSTTTTIIIIIINGGGGSSSS!!!

Vinegar: Is he really going to continue making Owen Peterson carry the title for him? It took him two years to claim that prize, and now he won’t even touch it?

Hanson: Because it’s cursed! Haven’t you been following things, and Donovan would know about these things, Calypso is a voodoo priestess!

Vinegar: What do they do with it when Owen is officiating? I haven’t seen him wearing it then?

Hanson: Because that would be stupid, in the middle of the ring he’s bound to get bloodied, Calypso probably holds it in the safety of the Unified Global Champions locker room....

Vinegar: That’s gentlemanly of him. And he’s now in the ring, and Glenn Burke signals for the bell and this match is underway.

Chassie takes the upper hand by grabbing The Champions wirst and whipping him intio the ropes, and then locking him into a hammerlock, and executing a hammerlock suplex, before quickly getting to her feet, and dropping a knee into the Lord’s face...

Hanson: Not the face!

Chassie picks Donovan back up and grabs him behind the skull, and runs at the turnbuckle, smashing ‘The Lord of Pains’ forehead into the turnbuckle, as he falls backwards she springs onto the top rope, and leaps of with a twisting moonsault, and quickly goes for the pin...

1...

2...

Hastings manages to scramble and get his shoulder up, but Chassie still has a full head of steam, and she’s not willing to let up. She drags Hastings back to his feet again, and she quickly jumps onto the middle rope, and then springboards onto Donovan’s shoulders....

Vinegar: HURICANRA...

Hanson: NO! REVERSED!

Hastings, uses his sheer strength to reverse the Hurricanrana attempt, to lift Chassie upwards, and plant her down on the canvas with a shuddering powerbomb., he keeps hold of the legs and goes for the pin, whilst hooking his own legs around the middle rope, this manoeuvre works till the two count when Glenn Burke spots the offence and breaks the pin himself.

Hanson: now what’s he doing here. He could have ended the night on a positive by having his final act being decimating A-Kis, but now the Masked Goon is down here...

Vinegar: Well he’s not doing anything, just observing...in fact I don’t think he’s even looking at the match, it looks like his gaze is fixed on Owen Peterson...

Raenius keeps his distance as Donovan and Chassie lock up and ‘The Lord of Pain’ get’s the advantage and get’s behind ‘The Dark Rose’ and locking her into a Full nelson, and then slamming her onto her back with power. He takes a moment to strike a pose, and then leans down to pick ‘The Dark Rose’ up again, but she connect with a crafty kick to the face, highlighting her flexibility, it sends Donovan stumbling backwards....she springs up...as Raenisus tarts running towards Owen Peterson...

Hanson: TWILIGHT DD...

Vinegar:RIPPERSNAPPER!!!

Hanson:NO REVERSAL!

Funnily enough Owen Peterson does not reverse and is indeed hit by the Rippersnapper, it his Donovan Hastings Hanson is speaking of, who once again is able to counter Chassie Fear, and he plants her feet on the ground, and then hits a Fishermans DDT, with a bridge...whilst Raenius un-straps the Unified Global Championship from the waist of Owen Peterson and starts off back up the ramp.

1...

2...

3!!!

Dennis: Here is your winner, via pinfall, DOOOOOOOOONOOOOOOVAAAAAN HAAAAAASSSSTTTTIIIIIIIINGSSSSS!!!

Hanson: Where is Raenius going with The Lord’s belt?

Vinegar: Hastings has just noticed Raenius is walking off up the ramp with his title, and his determination not to come into contact with it has lead him to jump out of the ring and revive Owen Peterson, who comes around groggily, only for Hastings to demand he go after Raenius, and as Owen gets to his feet clumsily, Raenius stands in the middle of the aisle and raises the title above his head mockingly...

Hanson: Give that back! You have a chance to earn it, don’t steal it...what’s he doing...

Vinegar: He’s seen a Covenant fan, who has a full pint of beer, and he wants some, he points to the full glass, but the fan shakes his head...

Hanson: What’s Raenius doing?

Vinegar: Thinking... Oh My God!

Hanson: Did he....Did I just see that?

Vinegar: Raenius just swapped the GIW Unified Global Heavyweight Championship for a four dollar pint of beer with a slack haired fan....who has high tailed it out of here...and that is all we have time for folks, god knows where that will end up, but if you see it on E-Bay please let us know here at GIW....see you next week for the final Sentinel before Infinity...

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Sentinel 25/01/10 Credits

GIW.com match

A-Kis

Dredd In Ring
Dredd

Malise vs Ghost
BoolZ

Donovan, Owen and Calypso Backstage
Donny

Dredd vs Berrien
JK

Roberts vs Rivers
Donny

BoolZ & Grace
BoolZ

Jet vs BoolZ
A-Kis

Dirge vs Kingsley
BoolZ

A-Kis vs Raenius
T-Rob

Main Event
T-Rob

Editor
T-Rob[/center]

['The Cyclone' JK]

what a show that was, loved every match from top to bottom.

Hanson's mic getting vut of was one of the funniest things I have ever seen in GIW, and there have been many a fucking hilarious moment in GIW. really wanna know how Dirge is going to react this week seeing as he was beaten by Kingsley technically.

the moments between BoolZ and Vlad was well written, can't wait for their match for the tag titles, should be a classic hopefully.

there was a serious WTF moment with Ghost and Malise and that teddy bear from behind the ear.....and of course Matt Damon getting the count instead of Glen Burke, then again, GIW is made of a lot of big WTF moments...

The main event was pretty interesting with that damn ending of R! handing the title to some random fan for the beer. It'll come up eventually I guess.

all in all, fantastic show, everyone who put in should be proud.

['The Monster' Dredd]

was impressed with my match. it summed up Dredd 'tude prefectly.

[Jet Somers]

Incredible show, I loved it. I was starting to be disappointed with the cliche'd '#1 contender steals title" bit, but the swap saved it. LOVE IT