Post by T-Robosaurus Rex on Feb 28, 2010 22:16:01 GMT -5
Vinegar: We’re hoping that tonight’s broadcast goes a little smoother than last week.
Hanson: What was wrong with last week?
Vinegar: Parts of the show were hacked to bits!
Hanson: Nonsense! The Covenant merely provided us with the means by which we saw a more efficient broadcast.
Vinegar: More efficient?
Hanson: They trimmed the fat!
Vinegar: In any case, it’s time for our opening contest.
Hanson: Sure, evade the conversation when I make a good point.
Vinegar: I didn’t hear anything of the sort, but what I do hear is the National Anthem of the Soviet Union, and you know what that means.
Hanson: It’s the 80s all over again?
Mitchell: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, currently residing in Moscow, Russia, the Siberian Destroyer, VLADIMER ULYSSSSSYYYYYYSSSSSSSSS!!!
Hanson: He must break you!
Vinegar: Vladimer Ulysys coming down the ramp now, facing the man who defeated his partner, Tim Kingsley, last week on Sentinel.
Hanson: That got shown?
Vinegar: That part of the broadcast made it over the air intact, yeah.
Hanson: That’s disappointing.
“Live or Die Free”
Mitchell: And his opponent, from Chicago, Illinois, FOREWELL BOOODDDDDDDINNNNNGGGGG!!!
Vinegar: Boding looking around at the crowd as he comes down the ramp for this, the second match in his career here in GIW.
Hanson: He should be less concerned about the mob and more concerned with the Siberian Destroyer!
Vinegar: Ulysys certainly does make an imposing figure.
Hanson: And shortly he’ll be imposing his will on eD cASe’s latest disaster.
Vinegar: Boding in the ring now, and Hazel East is ready to start this match.
DING DING!
Vinegar: Ulysys comes right after Boding, but Boding ducks under a clothesline and scampers away to the other side of the ring.
Hanson: Crush him like a bug!
Vinegar: Ulysys stalking Boding around the ring, Boding ducks under another clothesline, and he knocks Ulysys down with a dropkick!
Hanson: Ulysys needs to ground Boding and attack his legs, take this annoying speed out of the equation.
Vinegar: Boding up on the turnbuckle now, glancing around the crowd.
Hanson: Hey! Isn’t that where the UFO was last week?
Vinegar: Great, he’s looking over here again.
Hanson: Meaning he’s taken his eyes off his opponent, and Ulysys capitalizes with a stiff right hand as Boding crouches on the turnbuckle!
Vinegar: Ulysys taking Boding off the turnbuckle with a gorilla press, AND HE HURLS BODING OVER THE ROPES AND FACE FIRST INTO THE GUARD RAIL!
Hanson: That’s doing it! Break him!
Vinegar: Boding crawling along the side of the ring now, Ulysys on the outside stalking him.
Hanson: ERADICATE THE INFIDEL!
Vinegar: Okay, he’s Russian. You’re not even making the correct offensive remark.
Hanson: Ah, but it WAS offensive all the same.
Vinegar: Ulysys reaching down for Boding now, but Boding swings around and takes him down with a leg sweep!
Hanson: Get up, you Russian fool!
Vinegar: Boding rolling back into the ring, Ulysys in pursuit, and he catches Boding with a kick to the gut!
Hanson: ORDER OF LENIN!
Vinegar: But Boding backdrops out of it, and he rolls out of the ring in front of our table!
Hanson: You know who was another great Russian? Bjorn Borg.
Vinegar: What?
Boding: THE BORG!
Vinegar: Hold on there, son, you-
Boding: We need Picard! Make it so!
Hanson: Resistance is futile!
Boding: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Vinegar: What is-
Hanson: Don’t let them touch you! Don’t let them catch you!
Vinegar: Forewell Boding just ran around the ring, he’s sprinting backstage!
Hanson: Count ‘em out, Hazel!
Vinegar: …you did that on purpose.
Hanson: So?
Mitchell: Here is your winner by way of count out, VLADIMER ULLYSSSSSYYYYYYSSSSSS!!!!
Vinegar: You DO know Bjorn Borg was Swedish.
Hanson: So?
Vinegar: That wasn’t right to do.
Hanson: They called him the Ice-Borg, didn’t they? That’s close enough.
Vinegar: You’re unbelievable.
Hanson: What was wrong with last week?
Vinegar: Parts of the show were hacked to bits!
Hanson: Nonsense! The Covenant merely provided us with the means by which we saw a more efficient broadcast.
Vinegar: More efficient?
Hanson: They trimmed the fat!
Vinegar: In any case, it’s time for our opening contest.
Hanson: Sure, evade the conversation when I make a good point.
Vinegar: I didn’t hear anything of the sort, but what I do hear is the National Anthem of the Soviet Union, and you know what that means.
Hanson: It’s the 80s all over again?
Mitchell: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, currently residing in Moscow, Russia, the Siberian Destroyer, VLADIMER ULYSSSSSYYYYYYSSSSSSSSS!!!
Hanson: He must break you!
Vinegar: Vladimer Ulysys coming down the ramp now, facing the man who defeated his partner, Tim Kingsley, last week on Sentinel.
Hanson: That got shown?
Vinegar: That part of the broadcast made it over the air intact, yeah.
Hanson: That’s disappointing.
“Live or Die Free”
Mitchell: And his opponent, from Chicago, Illinois, FOREWELL BOOODDDDDDDINNNNNGGGGG!!!
Vinegar: Boding looking around at the crowd as he comes down the ramp for this, the second match in his career here in GIW.
Hanson: He should be less concerned about the mob and more concerned with the Siberian Destroyer!
Vinegar: Ulysys certainly does make an imposing figure.
Hanson: And shortly he’ll be imposing his will on eD cASe’s latest disaster.
Vinegar: Boding in the ring now, and Hazel East is ready to start this match.
DING DING!
Vinegar: Ulysys comes right after Boding, but Boding ducks under a clothesline and scampers away to the other side of the ring.
Hanson: Crush him like a bug!
Vinegar: Ulysys stalking Boding around the ring, Boding ducks under another clothesline, and he knocks Ulysys down with a dropkick!
Hanson: Ulysys needs to ground Boding and attack his legs, take this annoying speed out of the equation.
Vinegar: Boding up on the turnbuckle now, glancing around the crowd.
Hanson: Hey! Isn’t that where the UFO was last week?
Vinegar: Great, he’s looking over here again.
Hanson: Meaning he’s taken his eyes off his opponent, and Ulysys capitalizes with a stiff right hand as Boding crouches on the turnbuckle!
Vinegar: Ulysys taking Boding off the turnbuckle with a gorilla press, AND HE HURLS BODING OVER THE ROPES AND FACE FIRST INTO THE GUARD RAIL!
Hanson: That’s doing it! Break him!
Vinegar: Boding crawling along the side of the ring now, Ulysys on the outside stalking him.
Hanson: ERADICATE THE INFIDEL!
Vinegar: Okay, he’s Russian. You’re not even making the correct offensive remark.
Hanson: Ah, but it WAS offensive all the same.
Vinegar: Ulysys reaching down for Boding now, but Boding swings around and takes him down with a leg sweep!
Hanson: Get up, you Russian fool!
Vinegar: Boding rolling back into the ring, Ulysys in pursuit, and he catches Boding with a kick to the gut!
Hanson: ORDER OF LENIN!
Vinegar: But Boding backdrops out of it, and he rolls out of the ring in front of our table!
Hanson: You know who was another great Russian? Bjorn Borg.
Vinegar: What?
Boding: THE BORG!
Vinegar: Hold on there, son, you-
Boding: We need Picard! Make it so!
Hanson: Resistance is futile!
Boding: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Vinegar: What is-
Hanson: Don’t let them touch you! Don’t let them catch you!
Vinegar: Forewell Boding just ran around the ring, he’s sprinting backstage!
Hanson: Count ‘em out, Hazel!
Vinegar: …you did that on purpose.
Hanson: So?
Mitchell: Here is your winner by way of count out, VLADIMER ULLYSSSSSYYYYYYSSSSSS!!!!
Vinegar: You DO know Bjorn Borg was Swedish.
Hanson: So?
Vinegar: That wasn’t right to do.
Hanson: They called him the Ice-Borg, didn’t they? That’s close enough.
Vinegar: You’re unbelievable.