Post by T-Robosaurus Rex on Mar 14, 2010 20:04:55 GMT -5
We join the broadcast to see Tate Levene sitting behind his wrapper covered desk, his grubby hands full, a telephone in one and a toffee apple in the other. He licks at the sweetened fruit rather than take a bite, due to the object in his other hand. We can tell that this is a real struggle for Tate to resist, and he is obviously happy when he is able to reply to his unheard caller, and take his mind of the snack in front.
Tate: I don’t know where you got that idea, GIW is in a healthier state than I have ever seen it....I wouldn’t say no critics we got like three write ups last week...Of course they care, the rise of the Covenant is a gripping storyline...Look I can’t force people to give us feedback...
Tate returns to licking the apple as the voice on the other side of the phone gets louder, and obviously goes on somewhat of a rant.
Tate: You clearly have no idea...have you seen Dirge’s portfolio of Business’...well, no, neither have I, but he is very successful, he’d tell me if we were making mistakes...look after tonight’s show, everyone is going to want to see what happens at Dark Days...the buy rates will be through the roof....and everyone will be talking about GIW...Is that a threat...have you any idea who I...hello? Hello? Well fuck you too ball licker.
Having clearly been hung up on Tate’s eyes bulge and he takes an almighty bite out of the apple, juice and toffee spraying everywhere, and we finally turn our attentions to ringside.
Hanson: "May Roberts' soul go to a better place, free of chunky Asians, who do flips."
Post by T-Robosaurus Rex on Mar 14, 2010 20:05:35 GMT -5
Vinegar: Welcome ladies and gentlemen to another edition of Global Impact Wrestling: Sentinel. We’re one week from Affirmative Action-
Hanson: Dark Days.
Vinegar: Oh yeah, I forgot about fat boy last week.
Hanson: I think you should show our Enforcer the respect he deserves.
Vinegar: I am. You heard me call him fat boy right?
Hanson: He’ll hear about this you know.
Vinegar: I’d be disappointed if he didn’t.
Hanson: Well…the one thing we can count on this week is our Lords and Masters the Covenant dealing with this wishy washy half formed resistance movement.
Vinegar: I’ll be happy if we can get through without any technical difficulties. Though last week was the easiest days pay I ever earned.
Hanson: Slacker.
Vinegar: At least I was still here.
Hanson: I was dealing with business.
Vinegar: Yeah…good job you did of that.
Hanson: You just wait. The time will come where I’ll no longer have to work with you and I shall celebrate the day.
Vinegar: As will I. Now, I think we should probably be worrying more about our opening contest. While you were jabbering Forewell Boding and Paul Cockatoo have both made their way down to the ring.
Indeed, the first team in the opening tag team contest are in the ring. Forewell looks uneasy but seems to be trying to act casual. A difficult matter as he insists on constantly watching his partner out of the corner of his eye.
Hanson: Why do I not think this is a big new team in the making?
Vinegar: Because you still have a thread of common sense attempting to break free.
Quick Death starts to play to the profound booing of the gathered crowd. Johnny Blake storms out first paying no heed to anyone as he strides towards the ring. Duncan Ryder follows him out. He stops to pose for a moment but gives up quickly in the face of the ugly response.
Dennis: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from London England! At a combined weight of 465lbs! The team of Duncan Ryder and Johnny Blake! The Thames Valley Hit Squad!!!
Johnny climbs into the ring and starts to stride in a circle until Duncan hops onto the apron and climbs in with him.
Dennis: Already at ringside, their opponents! Forewell Boding and Paul Cockatoo!!!
Hanson: Now there are some guys you can respect, even if they are tea sipping red coats.
Vinegar: I can’t say I agree with some of their methods but they’ve shown they’re not pushovers.
Hanson: Well actually, who have they beaten?
Vinegar: No-one, but they were good matches and I think here we could see them pull it off.
Hanson: You have to hope so facing Paranoid and Retarded over there.
Ding! Ding!
Vinegar: Looks like this one is read to be underway. It’s going to be Johnny Blake starting off against Forewell Boding.
Hanson: And Paranoid doesn’t seem too pleased with it.
Vinegar: He doesn’t seem to want to turn his back on his partner.
Hanson: And rightly so. Never trust an Australian I always say.
Vinegar: When have you ever said that?
Hanson: Always. I said that.
While Hanson was rambling Blake jumped the distracted Forewell as he turned at the sound of a beer can being opened in the crowd behind him and glared suspiciously at Paul Cockatoo on the apron. Blake opens up with forearm shots to the back of the head and drives Forewell into a corner before unloading with a series of kicks to the body.
Vinegar: Blake taking advantage of Forewell Boding’s attention difficulties here to take the early advantage for the Hit Squad.
Hanson: Do you think they’ve ever actually killed anyone?
Vinegar: What?
Hanson: That’s what a ‘Hit’ Squad does right? Kills people.
Vinegar: I guess. I don’t think Bret Hart ever killed anyone either though.
Hanson: Oh how naïve you are.
Johnny follows up by picking Forewell up and turning around to hit him with a shin breaker. With Boding on the ground he starts to stomp down on his left knee and ankle.
Vinegar: Blake targeting the left leg here early on.
Blake drags Forewell across the floor by the leg to his corner and makes the tag to Duncan Ryder. ‘Dashing’ stomps the same leg then drops a knee across it. He drops down and puts his knee in behind Forewell’s, wrenching back on his ankle.
Vinegar: Leg lock applied. Wearing down more on that leg.
Hanson: Why the leg? Everyone works the leg.
Vinegar: We’ve seen Forewell Boding execute that powerful 720 DDT off the ropes. It’ll be very difficult to springboard with a dead leg.
Duncan drags Forewell back to his feet but Boding counters with a double chop to Ryder’s abdomen and a thrust to the throat. He goes to run off the ropes but stops, looking at Cockatoo in the corner. He walks up to him and starts to inspect him closely. The distraction is enough for Duncan Ryder to recover and bring him down with a chop block.
Vinegar: Boding brought down but he’s right by the ropes and Cockatoo tags himself in.
Forewell flinches at Paul’s tag and rolls out of the ring vigorously inspecting the area Paul touched him for any kind of abnormality. Cockatoo lands a forearm shot that rocks Duncan back. Paul climbs into the ring and kicks him in the gut. He pushes him back to the ropes and Irish whips him. Ryder is sent running and rebounds back into a clothesline.
Vinegar: Paul Cockatoo turning this match to his team.
Hanson: Who’d have thought huh?
Paul drags Duncan up again and sets him up for a power bomb. He struggles to lift the bigger man though and gets countered with a back body drop.
Vinegar: Cockatoo maybe a little over-optimistic with that what.
Hanson: That’s more like it. Some stupidity.
Duncan dives to tag in Johnny who charges in as Paul gets to his feet and rushes him into the corner. He unleashes a barrage of punches to the head and body. He pulls him out staggering and hits him with an enziguri to the back of the head.
Vinegar: Big shot there and Cockatoo goes down. Here’s a cover.
1!
2!
Vinegar: No! Kick out at two.
Hanson: Does Boding ever chill out. He’s just standing on the apron freaking out.
Johnny pulls Cockatoo back to his feet and whips him into the corner. He tags in Ryder again who unloads a series of shoulder thrusts to his body. He pulls him out and scoops him up to hit a body slam in the middle of the ring. He runs off the ropes and goes for a leg drop but Paul sits up out of the way and quickly counters with a low dropkick to the side of his head.
Vinegar: Big counter there by the Original Aboriginal. Both men down in the ring. Could be a chance for a tag.
Paul starts making his way to the corner slowly while Duncan tries to shake out the cobwebs.
Vinegar: There’s the tag. Forewell’s in and…stopping to examine his hand.
Fortunately Forewell has enough time to finish his inspection and places Duncan in a neck wrench so he can keep his eyes on Paul in the corner. He keeps the hold locked in until Duncan starts to recover and fight up to his feet when Forewell takes him down with a judo style shoulder throw into an armbar. Duncan fight back up to his feet again and gets taken over with a quick fisherman’s suplex.
Vinegar: Bridging pin.
1!
2!
Vinegar: No! Blake in to break the count.
Hanson: I doubt it was needed but a smart move there.
Vinegar: Hazel East ushering him out of the ring. He doesn’t seem too happy with that.
Hanson: And Paranoid just forearmed him off the apron. Now he’s pissed off.
Vinegar: He just pulled a chair out from the crowd. This could get very ugly.
Forewell goes back to Duncan and hits him with a shining wizard. Johnny gets back into the ring and makes to swing at Forewell as he gets back up but gets stopped by Hazel East pulling the chair away during him back swing. While he’s distracted Forewell tosses Johnny out of the ring as Duncan starts to get back to his feet. Forewell jumps onto the ropes…
Vinegar: They’re coming!
But his leg gives way and he crumbles out to the floor.
Hanson: And leaving again! Ha! Ha! Get it!?
Paul tags himself in as Forewell falls past him. He charges at Duncan and gets taken down with a spear. Duncan quickly pulls him back up and lifts him into a stalling fisherman’s suplex position.
Vinegar: Dashing Driver! Duncan Ryder hit’s the Dashing Driver. This could be it, lateral press.
1!
2!
3!
Ding! Ding!
Dennis: Here are your winners, the Thames Valley Hit Squad!!!
Vinegar: Great opening contest here and that first win for the Brits.
Hanson: And now that’s over we can get onto the Covenant part of the show. Otherwise known as the good bit.
Vinegar: Oh, same crap, different idol.
Duncan celebrates his win in the ring while Paul is still laid out in the middle. Johnny tries to go after Forewell but turns the corner to find he has already disappeared through the crowd out of sight.
Hanson: "May Roberts' soul go to a better place, free of chunky Asians, who do flips."
Post by T-Robosaurus Rex on Mar 14, 2010 20:06:02 GMT -5
Hanson: Are we still on the air?
Vinegar: I think so, but it’s hard to tell nowadays though.
Hanson: Good because only another two more matches until Sentinel gets good. I wouldn’t want anyone to miss the good stuff, by us being pulled during this crap.
Vinegar: A plot and a scheme leading to a respectable, yet certainly soon to be tainted, main event is the good stuff.
Without warning a flick and a pop usher in ‘Wonder What’s Next’ by Chevelle.
Hanson: Better than this.
Mitchell Dennis stands in the ring puzzled as the Red Bull Icon accompanied by Grace Harding and Conni marches from the bad. Instead of his usual wrestling tights and boots BoolZ is garbed in an old faded blue pair of Dickies and what seems to be an older more faded pair of Converse sneakers. Grace keeps pace with RBI who chugs the remaining contents of his Red Bull before hopping into the ring while Grace and Conni walk around to the time keepers table. BoolZ asks for Dennis’ mic, Mitchell hands it over, and then stands in the corner.
BoolZ: You know I’ve been thinking about this match a lot lately. I’ve been thinking about all those cans of Red Bull Vlad wasted. I’ve thought about all those doors I had to get replaced. I thought about Conni getting kicked, and Grace being choked. I’ve thought about how much I don’t want to wrestle Vlad, but how much I want to rip his head off. So Vlad, this is it. No more attacks on my stuff, no more ‘clever’ banter between Hanson and Vinegar, and after tonight no more you.
So without further ado, ladies and gentlemen the following contest will not be a match but a burial. I need no introduction so here is the victim. Standing for the last time under his own power, weighting a lot more now than he will after I gut him, this is the big dumb Russian who will forever remain nameless!
A very porn feel remix of the Russian National Anthem begins to play out over the speakers as the Globotron flashes to life with a close up of Tatyana Kingsley’s face. Her hair pulled tight by a right hand while holding a cigarette between two fingers. Her screams of animalistic ecstasy echo out over the soft bumping ugly music. A pop is heard causing the camera to pan up to the smiling face of Randy Boolzian. He looks into the camera: “Think this is something, you should have seen what I did to her a couple weeks back.”
Back in the ring BoolZ is seen laughing while Erik Drugonov stoic mug can be seen climbing into the ring. Grace blushes on the outside, but can’t seem to take her eyes from the video as the music stops.
Hanson: I think I’m going to be sick.
Vinegar: Any excuse to run to the back?
BoolZ: Oh, come on Vlad where you at? This is it man! This is your big moment. You wanted my attention, you got it, and now we got our match. Wait, wait, I know what’s happened. Yeah, just like I’ve thought about this a lot I bet you did too. You thought about how even with your little cuckold buddy and a pair of limey brits ya’ll could beat me. I bet you thought about that look on Tom’s face…
Vinegar: Tim’s face.
Hanson: My eyes!
BoolZ: … when you two Googled ‘Tatyana Chilidog’. I bet you thought, A LOT, about being strung up and coming within inches of literally being squashed by ol’ RBI. You know I can’t really blame you for turning tail and running like a scalded dog. I am shocked though. I mean as much of a joke you’d be in my ring in my match as I understand it a farce of a match with me is a proud proud moment for most. Just ask Chassie Fear who’s the only reason Raenius even made it into that tag match. Like I’d really let Chassie Fear claim a ‘hard fought dominating victory’ over me. Erik, you gonna start a count or something. That’s not against some kinda code or lesson or whatever your boss uses to justify whatever is it? I mean counting out your brother. You are both from ‘Mother Russia’ right?
Erik remains silent and impossible to read. He eyes BoolZ with a scrutiny in his stare before very clearly beginning a ten count.
Vinegar: I can’t believe it. After all the hatred Vladimir has shown to anything of Boolzian’s in the last couple months he’s really not going to show up for their first one on one match?
Hanson: Probably afraid of catching a disease.
BoolZ: And ten! Ladies and gentlemen I am your winner by way of an extremely cowardly opponent. I am the Red Bull Icon! Erik you gonna raise my hand?
Drugonov simply looks away before climbing out of the ring to wait for the next match. BoolZ laughs, drops to the canvas, and rolls out to the side closest to Grace and Conni. Together the three make their way back up the ramp when the porno’ed Russian National Anthem strikes back up and from behind the curtain comes Tatyana walking very gingerly. Poor little Ben is nowhere to be seen. BoolZ and Tatyana lock eyes before Grace and Tatyana lock eyes, and BoolZ with Grace and Conni hop the guardrail and exit through the crowd leaving Tatyana to yearn alone.
Hanson: "May Roberts' soul go to a better place, free of chunky Asians, who do flips."
Post by T-Robosaurus Rex on Mar 14, 2010 20:06:32 GMT -5
Hanson: It’s over now right?
Vinegar: No, Sentinel is just starting to pick up!
Hanson: No, it’s not. Not until someone Covenant-y comes out, and you know damn well that’s not what I was asking. Foolzian. He’s gone, yeah?
Vinegar: Well Randy Boolzian is gone.
Hanson: Is the Kingsley whore gone?
Vinegar: Looking for a date?
Hanson: Ah, no. I don’t want to make YO MOMMA jealous!
Dennis: Guys and gals! Now that I’m allowed to do my job again hopefully we will all get to see a match. Introducing first standing seven foot two inches, weighting in at 385 pounds, he is the Monster, this is Dredd!
‘Divine’ by Korn begins and the arena lights dim, and the opening of Divine begins to play. Pyro explodes down the sides of the ride to the ring in a cascading fashion and Dredd walks out onto the stage. A single spotlight illuminates him as he walks to the ring. As Dredd reaches the ring, a single large explosion of ring post pyro goes off and the arena lights return to normal.
Hanson: OK, see this isn’t so bad.
Vinegar: Really, you’re a fan of Dredd?
Hanson: Oh no, not at all but it’s not like he could get some skank to slop a bunch of DNA all over his prick without paying first. That’s gotta be more sanitary.
Vinegar: I don’t know why I still try.
Hanson: Because for once in all the years we’ve been doing this the GIW is on the right track with the Covenant at the helm.
Vinegar: You know they want to burn the company down, right?
Hanson: Better to burn out than fade away.
Dennis: And his opponent standing six foot one inch, weight in at 198 pounds, this is the Dragon Alex Kiseragi!
Hanson: GOD DAMNIT!
‘Teahouse’ from Juno Reactor plays as Alex walks out to the top of the ramp where he throws two right roundhouse kicks, each accompanied by a small pyro, followed by a split legged back flip with a larger pyro.
He walks down to the ring, slapping a few outstretched hands as he passes. As he approaches the ring he takes a few quick steps and jumps through the first and second ropes into a roll and up to his feet. He climbs a random turnbuckle and poses for a second before back flipping off.
Vinegar: I wonder if we could get BoolZ back out here if Alex isn’t to your taste.
Hanson: Any thing, dear god I can’t believe I’m saying this, but ANYTHING would be better than this… you know what I’m going to stop before I get sued again.
Vinegar: That’s probably smart.
Hanson: It was my money that opened up that dating service for Kissy their, I should at least get some profits.
Vinegar: Just couldn’t refrain could you?
Hanson: Damnit.
Erik Drugonov calls for the bell and the opening minutes play out as most should expect. Kiseragi utilizes his speed and quick educated feet to pick apart the Monsters knees while avoiding the seven footers reach as best he can. As soon as it’s clear his strategy is paying off however Dredd manages to catch the Dragon in an elevated full nelson and dispatches his smaller opponent with an overhead toss.
Dragon manages to twist and contort himself in mid-air however, lands on his knees, and as Dredd gets back to his feet he eats a Yari Kick that slams him back first into the corner. Dredd stumbles out towards Kiseragi who’s still on the mat, the Dragon reaches up, and pulls the Monster into a small package. Drugonov seems a bit surprised, but quickly starts the count, and declares Kiseragi the winner.
Dennis: Ladies and gentlemen here is your winner Alex Kiseragi!
Hanson: And it was such a month so far without seeing that flam…
Vinegar: I’m going to help you out this time. Alex looking good in his first match back. Dragons apparently don’t rust.
Hanson murmurs something incoherently as Kiseragi smiling to his fans walks back up the entrance ramp.
Hanson: "May Roberts' soul go to a better place, free of chunky Asians, who do flips."
Post by T-Robosaurus Rex on Mar 14, 2010 20:07:10 GMT -5
Jeremy”
JK enters the arena in a black long-sleeved shirt, jeans, leather jacket, black aviator sunglasses, and Connies, as he has been dressing for a week or two now to the sound of Eddie Vedder belting out the emotional lyrics to Jeremy. He has a microphone in hand and the GIW.com gold around his waist. Unusually, he doesn’t perform his taunt to set off the fireworks; instead he opts to just walk out to the ring, even going as far to only acknowledge the fans with a slight nod of the head before entering the ring, and waiting for his music to die down.
Hanson: So what’s pubic hair doing out here?
Vinegar: This must be the reply to Alex’s’ challenge last week.
Hanson: Sorry, let me reiterate, what is he doing out here, and, by doing so, delaying the appearance by the glorious Covenant?
JK: Hanson, you had better shut the fuck up before I decide to repeat what happened two weeks ago, and beat the living shit out of you.
The fans cheer
JK: Y’know, there has been a fair amount of talk as to which side I will join, the Covenants side, or the side of the resistance. Both teams bring pretty good credentials with the superstars on each side, and both provide very valuable allies. This isn’t what I came out for, but I thought that I should just say that I have not made my mind up about who to join.
JK lowers the Mic and wipes his fringe out of his face before once again raising it to his lips.
JK: Now onto the more important stuff.
JK paces the canvas a little.
JK: There is a superstar in the back that I have a deep amount of respect for. I mean come on, he’s a former World champ and tag champ, and even proved to be a bit of a handful for Travis Roberts, a bloke who held the unified title for almost a year!
Hanson: The “crippled guerrilla” is nothing compared to Dirge
JK looks over at the announcers table.
JK: Seriously Hanson, shut the fuck up.
He once again returns his attention to the crowd
JK: Last week, amongst the hijacked commentary and pizza with mushrooms, he decided to challenge for my title, even going as far as to remind me that I am a fighting champion. It is for this reason that I am out here tonight.
JK looks to the entrance ramp
JK: Alex, you said it yourself, and believe me, it sort of shits me to admit it, but I am going through some very trying crap at the moment, and, again, you are right that this kind of thing, people challenging you in those times, happens when you are a champion. But let’s be honest here Dragon, have you ever had anyone close to you murdered? I would have no idea of course, being that I am technically still the new kid in town, pardon the pun there, so forgive me if I make it seem as if you have no idea. However, I have been travelling week in and week out to Australia to try and figure out who killed my great granddad, and to be fair, it is pretty costly to continue to do so.
JK looks down at his feet, in such a way that his body language says “fuck I hate myself for doing this, but I have to.”
JK: It is for those reasons that I have to.....
He once again looks at his feet in that way
JK: Accept your challenge.
The crowd starts to cheer.
JK: It pains me to admit it, but you hit a nerve when you reminded me that I am a fighting champion, and a fighting champion, no matter what reason, never backs down from a challenge by anyone. Up until last week, I was planning to take a few weeks off for personal reasons that most know about. I guess those plans will have to wait until after the Pay Per View.
The fans are still cheering, some even chanting “FI-gh-TI-ng CH-aa-MP”
JK: You get your fight next week Dragon.
JK drops the mic as the riff for ‘Jeremy’ kicks back in to full force. JK not showing any form of emotion bar a sense of betrayal which is shown slightly through body language as he holds up the .Com title to the fans as they cheer for the Aussie champion. He exits the ring
Hanson: Why the hell does he think we care about non-covenant matters?
JK hears Hanson and approaches the table before throwing a right fist into his nose.
Hanson: OW! MOTHERFUCKER!
JK: I warned you...
JK turns around and heads back up to the locker rooms.
Vinegar: You just never learn do you?
Hanson: "May Roberts' soul go to a better place, free of chunky Asians, who do flips."
Post by T-Robosaurus Rex on Mar 14, 2010 20:07:40 GMT -5
Vinegar: Now it’s time for a match a lot of people have been looking forward to, most of all it’s participants.
Hanson: And even me!
Vinegar: It’s a real grudge match staring the ladies of the recent conflict within this company.
Hanson: The First Lady of the Covenant, Chassie Fear!
Vinegar: Against the Witch Woman Calypso Desmona!
Hanson: Let’s not waste any more time getting this one going. After the disappointment of last weeks main event I want to see that weirdo get the beating she’s got coming.
Vinegar: It’s going to be an uphill struggle for the Mistress of Pain with David Damarest stepping in to officiate again tonight.
Hanson: David and Erik are the greatest officials this company has ever had.
Vinegar: I’m sure from your point of view they are.
Haunted starts to play and Calypso crawls out to the top of the ramp.
Hanson: It’s good to see she’s already on her knees. We can get this over much easier.
Dennis: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Parts Unknown! The Witch Woman! Calypso Desmonaaaaaa!!!
Calypso crawls her way down to the ring until she slides in under the bottom rope. As soon as she gets to her feet Damarest forces her into the corner so he can conduct a frisk search.
Vinegar: Oh please. Calypso isn’t the one who’s likely to cheat in this match.
Hanson: He’s just being fair. We all want to see a fair fight. Damarest more than anyone. He’ll do the same for Chassie when she gets out. You’ll see.
Haunted fades out to be replaced by Cyanide Sweet Tooth Suicide. The lights cut to black and red and white strobe lights alternate in beat with the rapid music. Chassie walks swiftly onto the stage, looking at the people for a moment, then as the lyrics hit she descends the ramp, breaking into a run about halfway down.
Dennis: And her opponent! From an unspecified location. The Dark Rose, Chassie Feeeeear!!!
When she reaches the ring she jumps, grabbing the top rope and springing herself up, flipping in the air and landing on her feet. She runs to a random turnbuckle and plants her feet on the corners of the middle turnbuckle, throwing up the horns and head banging briefly. She jumps down and…
Ding! Ding!
Vinegar: Hey what do you know, no frisk.
Hanson: He must have forgot.
Vinegar: Must have.
The pair of them lock up in the middle of the ring but neither seems able to grapple to a better position. Chassie puts a boot to Calypso’s gut, doubling her over and knocks her down with a clubbing shot to the back. Calypso tries to get up but Chassie starts to stomp her down. Calypso makes her way to the ropes and grabs hold.
Vinegar: She’s at the ropes. The referee has to but some distance between them here and-
Chassie continues to stomp down on Calypso, Damarest making no attempt to stop her. Eventually Chassie pulls Calypso to her feet and places her in the corner and unloads with a series of knife edge chops.
Hanson: Hey who’s that up there?
Vinegar: Up where?
Hanson: In the rafters.
The camera appropriately shows a wide shot of the rafters displaying a rotund bearded man in a crew t-shirt.
Vinegar: Oh that’s just Hank. He’s fixing some of the broken lighting up there.
Hanson: Well it’s about time someone got this place back together. It’s been a tip for weeks.
Vinegar: Yeah and who do we have to thank for that?
Hanson: I blame that old bag Levene and her lack of maintenance ability. I’m surprised we haven’t been closed down already.
During the off-topic conversation Chassie has dragged Calypso back into the middle of the ring and hit a gut wrench suplex, followed up with an elbow across the sternum. She goes for a cover but pulls Calypso’s shoulders up at 2 of David Damarest’s fast count. She pulls Calypso to her feet again and runs to the ropes. She comes back for a clothesline but Calypso ducks it and rolls Chassie up with a school boy pin. Damarest doesn’t even think about counting and Chassie kicks out.
Hanson: You know I’m not sure it was a good idea to send such a fat ass up there to deal with that. That section of rafter looks very unstable.
Vinegar: Unfortunately I don’t think Tech Crew come in smaller sizes. It’ll be fine, don’t worry.
Chassie launches herself at Calypso again and gets taken down with a drop toe hold. Calypso floats over and gets in a side headlock but Chassie quickly counters and takes Calypso’s arm. She stomps it down at the elbow then locks in a short arm scissor.
Hanson: Why would they even be doing it now? Aren’t there better times for these things?
Vinegar: Guess they thought no-one would be looking anyway and they need all the time they can get.
Hanson: But what if-
Vinegar: Will you forget about it. We have a match to call.
Calypso spins out of the hold and rolls Chassie over backwards into a crouch on her feet and hit’s a low front dropkick to her face. Chassie falls back, slumped into the corner and Calypso stomps a mudhole in her. Damarest quickly gets in to separate them.
Vinegar: Oh come on!
Calypso rolls her eyes as she receives a warning for her conduct and goes back to follow up. As she does though she takes an up kick from Chassie that rocks her back. Chassie launches out of the corner with a somersault neck breaker. She picks Calypso up and whips her into the corner. She hits her with a series of forearm shots and lifts her up to the top rope. Calypso starts to fight back, punching down at Chassie. The Dark Rose slugs back as she gets up to the second and eventually the top rope.
Vinegar: High risk manoeuvre in the works. Will it pay off for Fear?
Hanson: It’s not a risk when you’re as smart and skilled as the Covenant.
The two are stood on the turnbuckle trading blows until Calypso pushes Chassie down. She hit’s the mat hard.
Hanson: What was that?
Vinegar: What was what?
Hanson: That noise.
Vinegar: What noise?
Hanson: I heard a creak. Was it the rafter? Tell me it wasn’t the rafter.
Vinegar: It wasn’t the rafter.
Hanson: Phew.
Calypso lines herself up to dive off the top rope when Damarest conveniently leans on the top rope making Calypso lose her balance and fall spread eagle over it. Chassie jumps to her feet, runs up the turnbuckle and launches Calypso off with a hurricanrana.
Crowd: Gasp!
As Calypso hit’s the ground the section of the rafter overhead breaks sending Hank the crewman falling towards Earth.
Vinegar: Oh my God…
Hanson: I told you.
Seven feet from certain death Hank is halted by a cable now wrapped around his right ankle.
Vinegar: Thank God! Someone help that man.
Hanson: He’ll have to wait. Anyone helping him now would just get in the way of the match.
Vinegar: I think that mans well being is more important than a match.
Hanson: I think the Covenant will decide that and I believe they agree with me.
Indeed no help is forthcoming and Chassie goes for the cover.
1! 2!
Vinegar: Calypso kicks out despite that ridiculous fast count and Chassie looks frustrated. She’s headed outside the ring.
Chassie tosses Vick Ace out of his chair at ringside and brings it in.
Hanson: Oh no. I think a bug flew in Damarest’s eye. He’s blind!
Vinegar: Bug in the eye my foot.
Chassie raises the chair and…
Vinegar: Dropkick! Calypso just dropkicked that chair straight into Chassie’s face! What a clutch counter!
Hanson: I think Damarest got that bug out in time to see that. He’s calling for the b-
*snap*
As Damarest is about to disqualify Calypso, the cable suspending Hank the Tech Guy above the ring snaps and the rotund gentleman falls the remaining distance onto the referee, unfortunately bumping his head and knocking him unconscious.
Hanson: Oh no! The referee is out!
Vinegar: This is Calypso’s chance. Hazel East! Hazel East is coming!
Calypso pulls a recovering Chassie to her feet.
Vinegar: Kiss of Chaos! Calypso hit’s the Kiss of Chaos. Here’s the cover!
1!
2!
3!
Ding! Ding!
Dennis: Here is your winner! Calypso Desmonaaaaaa!!!
Vinegar: She did it. Calypso beat the odds to win this match up.
Hanson: It’s an outrage I say. This match should be restarted immediately.
Vinegar: That’s not how it works. Calypso wins this one. Chalk up another one for the Resistance!
Calypso and Hazel make a hasty retreat up the ramp, stopping for Hazel to raise Calypso’s hand while Damarest is finally able to drag himself out from under the sweaty body of Hank the Tech Guy and see to Chassie who is just starting to recover.
Vinegar: Stay tuned for…wait what’s next? Oh…ignore that, by all means turn over. It’s going to be a farce.
Hanson: Go nowhere peasants! The Covenant demands it!
Hanson: "May Roberts' soul go to a better place, free of chunky Asians, who do flips."
Post by T-Robosaurus Rex on Mar 14, 2010 20:08:22 GMT -5
Vinegar: There is not much I can really say about the upcoming match apart from, why even bother. It can’t prove anything.
Hanson: What? I’ve never known you to be offended at giving the under trodden a chance to shine.
Vinegar: I’d hardly refer to Raenius as ‘Under Trodden’.
Hanson: I wasn’t speaking of him I was talking about the four young bucks standing in the ring who didn’t deserve an entrance, they are incredibly lucky to have such a chance and exposure in their careers...
Vinegar: Lucky them...
Dennis: The next match...
“Sexy Back”
Vinegar: Well that’s inappropriate...Tate Levene is interrupting Mitchell Dennis, and he seems to be dancing whilst rolling onto the stage in that blinged out mobility scooter. Either he’s dancing or his nipples are cold. Will he ever decide on that music, this is certainly not fitting.
Hanson: Are you a Fatist?
Vinegar: A what?
Hanson: Prejudiced against people afflicted by Obesity. It’s a disease you know.
Vinegar: Like hell it is, I’m sure it’s ravaging through Africa. Just put the bloody fork down.
Hanson: You’re not exactly slim yourself.
Vinegar: I’ll have you know I’ve lost 12 pounds since the holidays, at least I make an effort. Hell, at least I am mobile without the aid of an electronic wheelchair. People like Tate give larger people a bad name.
Tate: Are you two quite done yet, I have some important news.
Hanson: Sorry.
Tate: Hello my loyal fans.
*Boo’s*
Tate: I know, I know, you’re not here to see the hunk from the office, you want to see Our Hero, Raenius.
*Intensified booing*
Tate: He will be out shortly, I promise. But I have a really extra important announcement for you all regarding this following match. After the months of unscrupulous holding down The Covenant have finally taken their rightful place at the top of Global Impact Wrestling. A few whiny little bastards are unhappy that their tyrannical dictatorship no longer exists, and wish to disrupt our progress in making GIW a fair and equal place for us all.
Tate: Last week was a perfect example of their selfish desire to be protected once again, and they chose to disrupt and ruin a potentially wonderful evening of action for their own selfish needs. For this, I have no other choice than to reward the restrained and humble behaviour of The Covenant, and most specifically Our Hero, the Resident Evil.
Tate: Firstly, next week he and his partner Chassie Fear will get their hands on both Jet Somers and Calypso Desmona in a GIW Tag Team Title Match, and they will have the chance to dole out some much needed justice.
Tate: And tonight, if Raenius can fend off the hungry wolves that lay waiting for him in the ring, if he can use all his technical prowess and athletic ability to overcome the odd’s and grab the briefcase suspended above the ring...he will earn himself a Guaranteed shot at the Unified Global Championship at any time in 2010...
Vinegar: That’s Ludicrous...
Hanson: Why he deserved a rematch after Donovan cheated him out of a deserved victory, The Resident Evil is the uncrowned Unified Global Champion, and deserves a chance to rectify that at some point.
Tate: I shall now leave you all to enjoy one of the finest athletes in our generation, he is one half of the GIW Tag Team Champions, he represents the almighty and all seeing Covenant, he is......RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENIIIIIIIUUUUUUSSSS!
Hanson: "May Roberts' soul go to a better place, free of chunky Asians, who do flips."
Post by T-Robosaurus Rex on Mar 14, 2010 20:09:18 GMT -5
“Redneck”
Lamb of God's "Redneck" exlpodes into existence over the p.a. and then destroys life as a macabre, dark purple light fills the arena with a sinister and misty disdain as our Resident Evil, Raenius, walks out slowly, proudly wearing his uCw Kings of Hardcore t-shirt, clearly showing it's print saying 'We Bleed For You' for the world to see and then...
The arena is plunged into darkness; the sound system comes to an abrupt stop at the same time all the bulbs seem to pop and go out at the same time.
We can hear nothing from either Hanson or Vinegar, and the only sight we have is of the hundreds of people inside the sparsely attended arena holding up their camera phones.
A few more minutes pass and we start to wonder why we are still sitting watching a pitch black arena with nothing going on inside, surely there must be something better on another channel. Come to think of it why haven’t the network switched to a commercial break, this dead air surely isn’t profitable.
Having said that, how profitable is space during a GIW broadcast currently anyway, viewing figures have been plunging dramatically since Infinity, and their probably aren’t an abundance of advertisers rushing to fill in for an emergency that has possibly lost half the viewers.
Yet you continue to stare on at the screen, it’s been nearly five minutes, and quite literally nothing has happened. Sure it beats five minutes of a Sean Jensen match, but it’s beginning to puzzle you as to why you haven’t switched off yet.
Suddenly a voice booms across the arena PA.
VOICE: CODE 92, CODE 92, ALL TRAINED HTL’S TO BAY 9 GENERATOR. CODE 92, CODE 92, ALL TRAINED HTL’S TO BAY 9 GENERATOR.
And then another minute passes with no more excitement. The amount of camera phones illuminating the arena has dramatically decreased as people have developed arm ache. Yet you are still watching, it’s clear nothing else is going to happen. That announcement sounded serious, the show’s probably been cancelled, and they’ve forgotten to shut off the feed.
Seriously, this is starting to get really fucking stupid, why are you still looking at what is essentially a blank screen hoping something will happen, do you really think if you believe hard enough the lights will just come back on, do you, do you really? “REDNECK”
The sudden explosion of music and lights takes you a back for a moment.
Hanson:...and as I was sniffing Chassie’s gusse....
Vinegar: We’re back!
Hanson: Errr...Damn rebels, attacking the mothership.
Vinegar: What?
Hanson: That was clearly Travis and Donovan trying to sabotage yet another show...
Vinegar: I am hearing from the back that it was actually a major problem with the generators, one of our workers has been electrocuted and the incident caused a small fire which is now under control...
Hanson: I hope those irresponsible rebel’s are happy with what they’ve done.
Vinegar: I think this possibly has to do with the lack of oversight of the current maintenance of the GIW Arena, or lack of it. Or it all could just be an elaborate cover up because Tate forgot to pay the bill.
Hanson: You better watch yourself with those vile insinuations, and maybe focus on Our Hero himself, Raenius as he climbs into the ring, with these lucky newcomers, what a chance they have been given here tonight.
Vinegar: Umm, what?
Hanson: Well, I consider them lucky, coming from nowhere, getting their first chance on GIW TV and they get a shot at a guaranteed shot at the Unified Global Championship. And people suggested The Covenant are always out for themselves...
Vinegar: They’re not newcomers.
Hanson: I don’t recognise them.
Vinegar: That’s not surprising, I’m pretty sure one of them was a GIW.com Champion at one point.
Hanson: Who hasn’t been? Still, do you remember any of their names?
Vinegar: I know Dennis went through them earlier, but I didn’t see much point in designating them to my memory again, last time I did it was an utter waste of time.
Hanson: I’m pretty sure one of them is called Wyoming...
Vinegar: That sounds right, which one was he?
Hanson: Erm, I’m not sure they all have that generic no-show look about them, to many scars and clear signs of sexual torment at the hands of Marlo the Beautiful...
Vinegar: Where did that tradition go?
Hanson: Some fag took over and didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings...
Vinegar: So how do we differentiate them?
Hanson: Does it really matter, how about we call them all Wyoming, at least then a quarter of the time we will be correct.
Vinegar: the bell rings, and Raenius cocks his head, as Wyoming strides forwards towards him, and without flinching he stands firm and Wyoming falls to the floor...
Hanson: But another Wyoming comes from behind only to be met by an elbow to the jaw from The Resident Evil, who then turns his attention to the two standing Wyomings, and takes one down with a standing dropkick...
Vinegar: Before standing up and taking the other one down with a sidewalk slam...
Hanson: The Original Wyoming gets back to his feet and slides out of the ring, grabbing the ladder that is position just outside, and he slides it in...
Vinegar: Only for Raenius to kick it back out and square into Wyoming’s face, before reaching down and dragging it back into the ring, whilst Wyoming rolls on the floor outside clutching a mouth full of broken teeth and blood....
Hanson: The Imitation Wyoming is now back on his feet, quickly followed by the world’s greatest Wyoming Tribute Act, Our Hero throws the ladder high towards them, and they both catch it, only for Raenius to leap and dropkick it into their faces...
Vinegar: It seems that only one of the Wyoming’s is currently not needing emergency dental reconstruction surgery...but Raenius turns and see’s him just as the young man attempts to squirm out of the ring, he grabs him by his hair and tugs him up to the middle of the ring, throws the ladder into the corner, and then whips Wyoming 4 into it....
Hanson: FULL FONTAL INTO THE LADDER!
Vinegar: All four Wyoming’s lay on the floor, and Raenius drags their prone bodies itno the centre of the ring....he even goes outside to grab the original Wyoming...whats he doing...
Hanson: Stacking them on top of one another...and standing on them, reaching for the briefcase...
Vinegar: Well, that’s just insulting, he’ll never rea...the charade of this being a real match is over, as the briefcase starts to lower on it’s wire, into the waiting hands of Raenius.
Hanson: I don’t know what you’re talking about, he overcame the odds of four, count them, four Wyoming’s, he deserves that shot...
Dennis: Here is your winner.....RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEENIIIIIIUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSS!!!!
Vinegar: I shouldn’t be surprised, and neither should anyone else...it’s despicable...
Hanson: If Travis Roberts, Donovan Hastings or Jet Somers had pulled out such a dominant performance you’d be singing their praises.
Vinegar: think what you like. Up next, we’ll see what The Covenant have in store for the main event, if you can bear to, join us after the commercials.
Last Edit: Mar 14, 2010 20:27:09 GMT -5 by Alex Kiseragi
Hanson: "May Roberts' soul go to a better place, free of chunky Asians, who do flips."
Vinegar: jet now free to focus on the ‘official’ for tonight, Damarest. Jet’s wanted to get his hands on Dirge for quite some time, but this isn’t the circumstances he’d want.
Hanson: No he’d want it to be weighted in his advantage, rather than a fair fight.
Vinegar: Sure cause this is bound to be a fair fight.
Hanson: there you go, making accusations again, do you have any proof?
Vinegar: Aside from the fact his Bodyguard, Number 2 and possibly Fluffer is the referee?
Hanson: That’s all just coincidence; you are as paranoid as Boding.
“The One You Love To hate”
Dennis: And introducing his opponent, he is representing The Covenant, he is the Next GIW Unified Global Champion! He is, The Greater Evil, he is......DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRGE!!!
Hanson: Wooo! Everyone on your feet, show your respect and wish him luck before next week!
Vinegar: Do you enjoy making a fool of yourself.
Hanson: Who will the fool be when Dirge lifts the Unified Global Title high aloft on March 21st?
Vinegar: We’ll see. Jet is hopping from foot to fit, he is eager to get this once started, whereas Dirge is taking his sweet time getting to the ring, taking time out to greet everyone of the fans wearing Covenant shirts, which fair enough doesn’t take long at all, but is an obvious delaying tactic.
Hanson: Had Jet done that you’d remark how much of a great role model he was. Dirge is a great role model, he’s a loving father, a successful business man and the most Dominant force in GIW at this present time.
Vinegar: If you want the next generation to be morally bankrupt, which is conceivable knowing you, I would see your point. Regardless, he’s making his way into the ring now, and he nods to Damarest to signal for the bell, and this match is underway.
Hanson: And immediately Jet runs into a big boot from The Greater Evil that turns him inside out, and he falls to the ground with a clatter....
Vinegar: But he doesn’t let this set him back, and instead he scrambles back to his feet, but keeps his fingertips on the floor, and dives at Dirge taking him down with a MMA style takedown, restraining his head, and getting a few fists to Dirge’s ribs before Damarest, with no reasoning, pulls him off...
Hanson: I’m sure there was something illegal, just because the likes of Owen Peterson and Glenn Burke had flimsy interpretations of the rules doesn’t mean you should expect someone as scholarly as Damarest to not know every single rule, even the obscure ones about MMA restraining and rib punching....
Vinegar: Dirge gets to his feet, and Jet goes for him again, but this time Dirge just sidesteps, gets behind Jet, and shows his power with a half Nelson Slam, and Jet almost lands on the base of his neck, which looked uncomfortable...
Hanson: Uncomfortable is bliss when in the ring with Dirge, Dirge now grabbing Jet to his feet, and whipping him against the ropes, only for Jet to leapfrog him on the rebound, on the second run, Dirge though measure Jet’s attempted flying shoulderblock, sidesteps, and Jet gets nothing but air and canvas...
Vinegar: But he rolls onto his feet and gets back up...
Hanson: Turning into the open arm’s of The Greater Evil, who locks up with him and get’s him into a piledriver position...CRADLE PILEDRIVER.
Vinegar: That wasn’t pretty...
Hanson: Dirge covers...
1...
2...
Hanson: No! Jet kicks out.
Vinegar: Not quite, Dirge pulled his head up and broke the count...it looked like Jet was about to kick out though, and Dirge is grinning at not giving him that opportunity.
Hanson: A clear example of why Dirge is such an experienced and formidable in-ring expert, you don’t just have to break them physically, you can do it psychologically as well...
Vinegar: Are you suggesting Dirge knows any other way than brute strength, have you see his move set?
Hanson: How else would you explain it?
Vinegar: Arrogance...
Hanson: Whatever...
Vinegar: Jet gets to his feet, Dirge swings, but Jet ducks, leaps and hooks his arms and legs around Dirge’s arms...CRUCIFIX PIN...
...
...
1...
...
Vinegar: Oh for...
Hanson: Kick out at 1! That’s gotta be demoralising for Jet; that must have felt like eternity...
Vinegar: That’s because it was...
Hanson: You invest too much in the competitors; that’s your problem Nick.
Vinegar: Dirge getting to his feet, and he’s met by a chop from jet, which catches Dirge unawares, and then aims a punch at the liver....that’s called the Final Move, and it doubles Dirge over instantly, as such a strike would...followed by....KAO LOI! The knee strike sends Dirge down, Somers is on a roll now....
Hanson: It’ll end....
Vinegar: Climbs to the top rope...OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! Damarest, ‘accidently’ leans against the ropes, causing Jet to lose his footing and tumble head first onto the canvas. How much longer do we have to endure this before someone steps in...
Hanson: He slipped. Maybe he’s not the ‘saviour’ you had him down as?
Vinegar: I never proclaimed him a ‘saviour, and he did not slip.
Hanson: Whatever happened, it seems Jet Somers is his own momentum killer, ha ha. Dirge back on his feet at roughly the same time as Wet jet...
Vinegar: MATRIX! Jet avoids a second Big Boot Attempt by arching his back into a bridge, Dirge follows through losing his footing, as Jet springs to his feet again, runs the ropes, leaps....HURICANRA...
Hanson: POWERBOMB!!!
Vinegar: And another cover...
1...
2...
Vinegar: And again! Just as Jet flexes to kick out, Dirge pulls him up by the hair. Jet getting increasingly annoyed...
Hanson: See?
Vinegar: he isn’t given much time to bemoan his plight as Dirge just grabs him and throws his neck across the middle rope and starts to choke him...and to Damarest’s credit he begins to count...
Hanson: Why does that surprise you, he’s an official, he knows his job...
Vinegar: He’s at eight....no nine, and still hasn’t broken the choke...
Hanson: It’s probably not a choke, it’s probably a rare manoeuvre which you have 10 seconds for...see, he broke it on ten...
Vinegar: Sure, that’s what it was...Jet can barely summon up enough strength to spit, but he does so anyway directly in Dirge’s face...which elicits a chuckle from Dirge as he hoists the breathless Soemrs to his feet...Dirge using every advantage he has tonight...
Hanson: you see what you want to see. What I see is Dirge dominating Jet Somers, who has given it a good go, but Dirge is just too powerful, and this match is coming to an end....
Vinegar: You could be right, as Dirge hoists him above his head in a Gorilla Press...
Hanson: SOUL AUCTIONEER!
1...
2...
Vinegar: THIS IS GETTING PERILOUSLY CLOSE TO CAUSING ME TO CURSE!
Hanson: Dirge dragging Jet to his feet...
Vinegar: And jet manages to get another punch into the midsection of Dirge sending him reeling, he charges....but Dirge reads the play, and grabs an arm, and counters with an Irish whip....STRAIGHT INTO DAMAREST...and BOTH GO OVER THE ROPES, AND INTO THE TIMEKEEPERS TABLE!!!
Hanson: Dirge looks shocked as he peers over at the carnage...
Vinegar: He looks like he’s smiling to me.
Hanson: He wouldn’t smile at the pain of an official, especially not Damarest.
Vinegar: Given how much help he’s given him...
Hanson: Exac...I mean, be quiet! Jet struggling back into the ring as Dirge backs off him...
Vinegar: Despite going through the timekeepers table, he’s just about managed to sluggishly haul himself into the ring...hang on...
Hanson:CHEATING SCROTUM!
Vinegar: jet’s sluggishness is because he dragged the timekeepers bell into the ring, and he lands a shot with it square between Dirge’s eyes, sending the Momentum Killer down....
Hanson: JET’S GONE APESHIT!
Vinegar: Thats a good explanation, as he pounds Dirge numerous times with the ring bell, over and over, before throwing it out of the ring towards the entrance, and then just as Damarest gets into the ring, he makes the cover...
1..
..
..
..
..
2..
...
...
...
..
3!!!
Dennis: Here is your winner, JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTT SOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMERSSSS!
Vinegar: jet rolls out of the ring, and he;s just staring at his his blood covered hands, I’m not sure he knew what he was doing, and I’m certain right now he’s horrified...
Hanson: He should be...but luckily Dirge is managing to sit up, despite that brutal attack, blood pouring down his face from his forehead...
Vinegar: And he turns to look at Jet, who back up the ramp oblivious to anything apart from his own blood covered hands, and the ring bell he has picked up and clutches under one arm...and Dirge...SMILES[/b]
Hanson: See...SEE! he broke him psychologically, what’s a loss in comparison to Jet Somers’ soul! GENIUS! And next week, next week Donovan Hastings will...will...walk out onto the stage and forfeit his title...
Vinegar: I doubt that very much...
Hanson: No, not next week...NOW! LOOK ON THE STAGE! IT’s HASTINGS...HE’S FORFEITING! HE’S FORFEITING![/b]
Vinegar: it is Donovan, I can’t believe he’s, wait he’s got a mic...
Hastings: Don’t get too excited Turncoat, I was invited here on official duty, to show someone what has become of GIW. And now I shall introduce to you, the only person who knew where the backup generators were earlier this evening enabling this tragedy of a show to go on....
Vinegar: He’s motioning to the curtains, which open and out walks...
Hanson: THE OLD BITCH!
Vinegar: Old Lady Levene makes her way slowly out onto the ramp way as the crowd erupt in cheers to see her behind her walking frame.
Hanson: Can’t even get her entrance right look, smoke has only started coming out now.
Donovan: Dirge looks at OLL, and he may realise the jig is up as it were. Jet is still oblivious and he backs up the ramp, clutching the blood covered bell between his blood covered hands and passes by Old Lady Levene, who looks down at him, looks at his hands, and looks at the face of a broken man...she then looks down to Dirge who just grins, and she exhales deeply whilst shaking her head and motioning for the mic in Donovan’s hands.
Old Lady Levene: Screw ‘the right way!’
Donovan’s face breaks out in a smile to rival Dirge, who keeps smiling.
Vinegar: The handcuff’s are off. Dark Day’s just got taken to a whole other level...
Hanson: Dirge not only broke Jet....be broke the old Bag!
Vinegar: Join us nex...URGH!
The sprinklers in the arena all turn on, and suddenly the PA system starts up again.
Voice: PLEASE EVACUATE THE BUILDING, DO NOT PANIC, THIS IS NOT A DRILL...
Smoke starts to pour out from backstage, as the crowd begin to flee...
Hanson: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
Vinegar: G’NIGHT!
Hanson: "May Roberts' soul go to a better place, free of chunky Asians, who do flips."
Post by Alex Kiseragi on Mar 14, 2010 20:42:20 GMT -5
Good show. I think on the face of it it doesn't come off as anything remarkable the great thing is that it does exactly what it has to do, which is build up for next week.
The match writing on the whole was solid and well done.
The various technical issues throughout the night gave it some consistancy as well as opening up further possible storyline factors.
Then the PPV matches were largely set up. Thank JK for putting together a response. The tag title match was announced and despite the seemingly odd pairing of Calypso and Jet, I think it works. Then the ending of course is a great one for the Main Event. OLL's 'Screw the Right Way' was a great line and really sets the title match up to be brutal.
On top of that Raenius getting another MITB style title shot opens up a whole new can of worms and keeps the life in this cool plot line regardless of what happens next week.
Post by Lord Hastings on Mar 15, 2010 12:59:41 GMT -5
I really like the way the Covenant's takeover has progressed. It's good when a storyline can give an entire show a solid flow, and we've defintely had that the past two weeks, with Donovan and Travis hacking the feed last week, and everything just falling apart this week. It's given the Hastings vs Dirge match a sort of "GIW's Last Stand" epic feel that it's really cool to be a part of.
Post by The Greater Evil on Mar 15, 2010 13:10:40 GMT -5
I have to agree with both Matt and Steve. This entire angle has played out extremely well and build up well until the show when everything sort of just imploded. I loved the return of OLL and her "Screw the right way !!!" declaration. This match at the PPV, as well I think as all of "Dark Days" (which is a documentary by the way) is going to be complete insanity. I can see Donovan and Dirge turning into an all out war at the PPV where nothing is impossible.
Having Jet bash Dirge with the ring bell was a great bit, well played Ichy. Overall I'm looking forward to this show.
Why choose a lesser evil, folks? Dirge. Presidential candidate of the future.