Horizons XVI

[UGWC Staff]

~~~INFINITY~~~

Mitchell Dennis: Your winners, AND NEW UGWC COOPERATIVE CHAMPIONS, Ken Davison and Kyra Johnson, BALTIMORE ELLLLLLLLITE!!!!!!!

Vinegar: They did it!

Covert Jay: Hard fought battle tonight capping off a hard fought journey to get here!!

~~~

Mitchell Dennis: Here is your winner, and the 2022 Global Challenge Keyholder, MONNTTAGGUEEE CERRRRRVVAANNNNTTEEESSSSS!!!

Vinegar: What a match! Montague Cervantes pulling out the victory!

Lieberjosch: He narrowly escaped defeat more than once, but in dramatic fashion, the Doctor-Professor becomes the first keyholder of 2022!

Covert Jay: Not only that, but he’ll challenge next month for the World Heavyweight Championship!

~~~

Covert Jay: OH MY GOD!!!

Vinegar: Hastings tapped! He tapped! Hastings was mere centimeters from grabbing the bottom rope and he tapped out!!

Covert Jay: Centurion retains!

Vinegar: Hastings slumps to the mat as Rydell tells Centurion that he’s won!

Mitchell Dennis: Ladies and Gentlemen, your WINNER via a SUBMISSION, and STILL UGWC WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION….CENNNNNTUUUUUUURIIIIIIIIONNNNNN!!!!!

Vinegar: Centurion retains!

~~~EVER ESCALATING ENDANGERMENT~~~

Mitchell Dennis: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner… and STILLLLLLL UGWC Chaos Champion… Tonyyyyyyyy Saaaaaaavaaaaaaaage!

Lieberjosch: Tony Savage has defeated Travis Pierce to retain!

Vinegar: And what a hell of a statement he’s made! Look at this carnage!

Covert Jay: Travis Pierce looks like he took a wrong turn at Albuquerque, but Tony Savage doesn’t look too far behind!

Vinegar: What a way to open up the night!

~~~

Mitchell Dennis: Ladies and gentlemen, your WINNER and STIIIIIIIIIIIIIIL UGWC CROSS-HEMISPHERE CHAMPION…THE RAAAAAGDOLLLLLLLLL!!!!!

Vinegar: Holy shit what a mess! Ragdoll retains after a hellish battle with Sebastian Everett-Bryce the Third.

Covert Jay: And the appearance of a convenient table stack.

Vinegar: That too. I’m sure that Management will want to get to the bottom of that.

Lieberjosch: It was weird, but it worked to Ms. Pierrot’s advantage as she remains the Cross-Hemisphere Champion!

~~~

Lieberjosch: BIG FINISH!!!!

Vinegar: A modified Big Finish drives Centurion through the table!

Lieberjosch: That’s it!!!

Mitchell Dennis: Here is your winner, and the NEW World Heavyweight Champion…MONNNNTAGGGUUEEE CERRRRRVANNNNNTTTEEEEESSSSSS!!!!

Lieberjosch: Cervantes did it!

Covert Jay: The dark day that Deimos predicted has come!

Vinegar: Montague Cervantes is the new World Heavyweight Champion!

~~~OUTLAST~~~

Mitchell Dennis: Your winner, AND NEW UGWC WORLD CHAMPION, TONNNNNNNY SAVAGGGGGGGE!!!

Vinegar: He’s done it!

Lieberjosch: Anthony K. Savage has made his place in UGWC history tonight. He settled a score and achieved a great destiny!

Vinegar: Tony climbs the turnbuckle and lifts the belt to the roar of the fans!

~~~BATTLEGROUND~~~

Mitchell Dennis: Here is your winner, and the NEW World Heavyweight Champion, LUUCCYYY WYYYLLLLLLDDDDDEEEEE!!!!

Covert Jay: She did it!

Vinegar: Lucy Wylde has made it back to the top of the mountain! For the second time in her career, she is the UGWC World Champion!

Lieberjosch: She’s the champion, but Tony Savage is still a keyholder, and with the year he’s having, he’ll be back for it!

~~~

Vinegar: No damnit! Not like that!

Mitchell Dennis: Here is your winner, and the holder of the Battleground 2022 Key, Temmmmmmpeeeeeeeest!

Vinegar: That’s just a damn shame! Zane basically handed the Battleground Key to Tempest!

Covert Jay: There was an important lesson learned here tonight. And when I figure it out, I’ll let you guys know!

~~~WRESTLESTOCK~~~

Mitchell Dennis: Here is your winner of the 2022 WrestleStock Tournament…….THE BOGEYMAN……JJJJJAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY CCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vinegar: JC has done it! JC has come back to the UGWC and won the WrestleStock Open!!!!!

Lieberjosch: Now THAT is a tournament finals match!

~~~

Mitchell Dennis: Here is your winner, and STILL the UGWC World Champion, LUUCCYYY WYYYLLLLLDDDDDEEEEEE!!!!

Vinegar: Lucy Wylde survives!

Covert Jay: What an incredible performance!

Lieberjosch: Tempest’s game plan was nearly flawless, he picked the champion apart and broke her down with nothing less than mastery in his approach, but Lucy Wylde managed to overcome it all!

Vinegar: Rogan MacLean, Ken Davison and Kyra Johnson coming into the ring, Lucy Wylde has barely moved, she’s exhausted!

Covert Jay: Rogan helping her to her feet and they embrace, Baltimore Elite helping as Ken and Rogan lift Lucy onto their shoulders, and Kyra hands her the title before she holds it up in front of a standing ovation from this festival crowd!

~~~RUN OF THE MILL~~~

Vinegar: Sebastian retains! Sebastian retains the Chaos Championship on the roof of the Bon Secours Wellness Arena! The flames fade and vanish with Sebastian still lying on top of JC. He finally rolls over as Brian Chartreuse helps him to his feet and raises his hand. Looking on, the Astro Creeps stand in the bleachers with an eerie stillness. Tempest gives a single nod before the Creeps walk away. Chartreuse retrieves the Chaos Championship and hands it to Sebastian, who brings it close to his face and looks at it as if it’s the most prestigious title in the business! What a way to start Run of the Mill!

~~~

Tempest rises back up at the same moment the crane drags itself into the building, crashing through it and causing it to implode. It drops to the basement, pulling the walls down around it, collapsing the Union Bleachery and Finishing Company behind King Freak, Tempest, the new UGWC World Champion!!!

~~~MASSIVE MELEE~~~

Mitchell Dennis: Here is your winner…….. AND STIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLL UGWC WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONNN…… TEMPESSSSTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vinegar: And in an incredible match, Tempest retains the World Heavyweight Title.

Leiberjosch: I had no doubts whatsoever!

~~~

Lieberjosch: Kyra grabs the middle rope with her hands, blocking Deimos from being able to pull her over, and she drives a knee into his chest through the ropes!

Vinegar: A second knee forces him to release her, grabbing the ropes to prevent himself from falling, but she kicks his hands and knocks him loose!

Lieberjosch: He’s out! She did it!

Mitchell Dennis: Here is your winner of the 2022 Massive Melee and the Keeper of the Massive Melee Key, KYYRRAAAA JOHHHHNNNNNSSOONNNNNNNNN!!!!

Vinegar: Kyra Johnson has won the Massive Melee!

Covert Jay: What a performance!

Vinegar: And you know what this means, as an exhausted Kyra Johnson celebrates in the ring. Kyra Johnson will join Montague Cervantes, Tony Savage, and Tempest in the Keys to the Kingdom Match next month at Keeper of the Keys, and the winner of that match takes control of their fate at Horizons!

~~~KEEPER OF THE KEYS~~~

Lieberjosch: Kyra turns to dart up the ramp–

Vinegar: NO! Montague just threw himself at the security barrier and hit Lament for a Toy Factory!

Covert Jay: He just utterly flattened himself and Kyra!

Lieberjosch: With all of his opponents out on the floor, there’s nothing left but for Tempest to insert the final key!

Vinegar: He’s putting it in the lock, turning it, he opens it!

Dennis: Your winner, and the 2022 Keeper of the Keys, your UGWC World Champion, TEEEEEEMMMMMMMPPPPPPEEEEEEEESTTTTTT!!!

Liberjosch: An outstanding display by all four competitors!

Vinegar: What will happen as Tempest holds the crown jewel of UGWC’s biggest event of the year in the palm of his hands?!

~~~SYNERGY #387~~~

Somers: We have an incredibly historic and highly anticipated match, and it’s my duty to make sure it’s the most unforgettable and show-stopping spectacle of the night!

Lieberjosch: Come on, Napoleon’s Revenge!!

Somers: This year has been dominated by two larger than life Entertainment Professionals; Lucy Wylde and Tempest!

Vinegar: Wait, this isn’t about the Boogeyman and The Lord of Pain!?

Somers: The contributions given by both of these living legends must be respected as much as both their wishes. Therefore, I’ve decided that the UGWC World Championship will be decided in a two out of three falls match!!

Lieberjosch: Well… that’s a relief. I was expecting some convoluted, garbage featuring–

Somers: The first fall will be the requested cage match, and the second fall will be the debut of the Circus Death Match!

Vinegar: Wow… can Lucy and Tempest survive both?

Somers: If the match should go to the third fall, then it must be decided in a Hell in a Cell match!!!

The crowd absolutely blows the roof off, and the announce team is stunned.

Covert Jay: Those are three stellar, career altering matches, and at Horizons, we’re going to see them all as part of one contest, the most important contest of the night!

~~~HORIZONS~~~

[UGWC Staff]

Vinegar: Welcome to Horizons!

Covert Jay: HUTTAH!!

Lieberjosch: Hard to believe another year has come and gone, but we are here in the United Center, and it is time for the biggest show of the year!

Vinegar: Six big matches, four titles on the line, and it all leads to the Two out of Three Falls Match for the World Championship between the champion Tempest, and the very deserving challenger, Lucy Wylde.

Covert Jay: A Cage Match, Circus Deathmatch, and if needed they'll go inside Hell in a Cell!

Lieberjosch: We'll also see a dream match that I'm sure many people never expected to have the opportunity to see, as "The Lord of Pain" Donovan Hastings takes on "The Bogeyman" JC!

Vinegar: And half of the legendary Engine of Chaos will collide when Holden Orson faces Rogan MacLean, but we begin with a match for the vacant Conquest Championship!






Mitchell Dennis: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
 
Crowd: ONE FALL!!!
 
Mitchell Dennis: And it is for the UGWC Conquest Championshiiiiiiiip!!!
 

 
The pyros explode and the opening to “You Know My Name” by Chris Cornell blares over the PA system. Travis Pierce enters the stage much to the delight of the fans.
 
Vinegar: Here comes Travis Pierce. He has had an epic year so far. A very close call, nearly winning the World Title at the Massive Melee. He was the runner up for the Wrestle Stock Tournament. And now he has a shot at redemption.
Leiberjosch: Winning the Conquest Title will put him back on track to get back to the top!
Covert Jay: Top of what?
Leiberjosch: The UGWC, duh!
Covert Jay: Ooohhh…the “mountain.”
Vinegar: Sure.
 
Travis walks down the ramp and into the ring, soaking in the adoration from the fans. Letting them know he is ready for the fight.
 
Mitchell Dennis: Introducing first. He is the Icon of Entertainment. Traviissssss Piiiieeeerrrrcccceeee!!!

 
Without warning, “Break Those Bones Whose Sinews Gave Them Motion” by Meshuggah blares over the PA. Zane Scott steps out onto the stage. He looks ready for a fight. He glares out into the crowd before walking down the ramp.
 
Vinegar: Here comes Zane Scott. He’s had quite a rough year. A former Conquest Champion and World Champion in his own right. Here is his pathway, back to the top.
Leiberjosch: For Zane, this is a must win. He’s had quite the rough go of it lately. Getting injured at Battleground. Coming back and then taking time off after the Melee to recover. You have to wonder, how much does he have left in the tank?
Covert Jay: Not to mention, he’s batshit crazy!
Vinegar: Well, I wouldn’t say that.
Covert Jay: I would.
Leiberjosch: You did.
 
Zane makes his way into the ring and glares right at Travis. Not taking his eyes off of him. He stands in his corner, ready for the match to begin.
 
Mitchell Dennis: And his opponent… he is The Personification of Hate….Zaaaaannneeeee Sccooooooottttt!!!!
 
Alice Nasmith holds the Conquest Title overhead for the fans to see. She takes it over and hands it to ring side and signals for the bell.
 
 
DING DING DING!!!
 
 
Vinegar: And here we go!
 
Travis and Zane meet in the middle of the ring. Travis is smirking, smugly, while Zane just glares right through him. Travis spreads his arms out wide and Zane goes for a punch but Travis ducks it and gets behind him.
 
Leiberjosch: Some early elusiveness from Travis.
Covert Jay: Zane is fighting purely on rage at this point.
Vinegar: You got that right!
 
Travis shoves Zane forward and as he turns around, Travis hits him with a clothesline! Travis drops a quick elbow on his opponent and goes for a cover, but Zane kicks out before a 1 count. Travis quickly gets up and Zane rolls away.
 
Vinegar: A quick cover, but Zane is nowhere near ready to lay down.
Leiberjosch: It was smart, honestly.
Covert Jay: Oh? Please tell!
Leiberjosch: Making Zane expend unnecessary energy. Wear him down.
Covert Jay: OOOHHH! Smort.
 
Zane charges at Travis and ducks an oncoming clothesline from the Piercing Media Titan. He reaches back and hits Travis with a falling reverse neckbreaker. Travis rolls to his side to get up but Zane is right back up and stomps him back to the mat.
 
Vinegar: Zane is not having any of Travis’ shenanigans right now.
Covert Jay: No sir-e-bob!
Leiberjosch: Don’t let Old Bob hear that.
Covert Jay: OOPS!
 
Zane picks up Travis and gets him in a side headlock. Travis tries to get out of it but Zane wrenches it in. Alice Nasmith gets in and asks Travis is he wants to give up, but he completely ignores her. Zane gives it another good squeeze, but Travis pulls back.
 
Leiberjosch: Travis is not going to give up to a headlock. If he does, his career may as well be over.
Vinegar: Yeah, no chance of that. Not at all.
Covert Jay: Wearing him down. Expend the energy.
Leiberjosch: Now you get it!
 
Zane keeps the lock sinched in, but Travis bounces off the ropes, and shoves Zane forward. Zane runs across the ring. Travis quickly goes for a clothesline but Zane ducks it. Zane rebounds off the ropes and jumps, hitting Travis with a jumping shoulder tackle.
 
Vinegar: Zane is moving around rather well!
Leiberjosch: He looks spry!
Covert Jay: Big time! Moving like a 21 year old!
 
Travis hits the mat and Zane is quickly back to his feet. Travis is trying to get up but Zane shoves him back down with his foot. Alice says something to him but Zane brushes it off, as it technically isn’t against the rules. Zane picks Travis up and whips him into the corner.
 
Vinegar: Zane is having none of Travis’ nonsense, AND none of the officials words.
Leiberjosch: He better get right, otherwise he will find himself on the wrong end of this match.
Covert Jay: Losing. Poorly.
Vinegar: exactly.
 
He runs at Travis in the corner and hits a body splash. But wait! Travis catches him and shoves him forward into a slam out of the corner! Travis rolls away and uses the time to get himself together.
 
Vinegar: Travis is taking the time to get himself together.
Leiberjosch: That was a beautiful counter.
 
Alice checks on Zane who is up to a knee. Travis is up and right behind him. As Zane gets to his feet, Travis grabs him and hits a falling sleeper slam! He drops into the cover. Alice slides into positon!
 
Covert Jay: COVER!!!!!
 
 
 
 
 
1!!!!
 
 
 
 
 



 
2!!!!
 
 
 
 


 
 
Kick out!!!!
 



Vinegar: This is the fight people came to see!
Leiberjosch: I know that’s right.
Covert Jay: Doc, how come you don’t like anyone?
Leiberjosch: Eh, I just don’t.
 
Zane gets the shoulder up just after 2. Travis pulls him up and whips him into the ropes. On the rebound his hits Zane with a back body toss. Zane rolls through and gets to his feet. Travis charges at him again, but Zane is by the ropes and flips him over! Travis lands on his feet on the outside!
 
Covert Jay: So, Doc. Have you thought about a therapist for these issues?
Leiberjosch: *stares in Doc*
Vinegar: Can we focus on the match?
 
Zane turns and hits him with a hard elbow. Travis is teetering on the edge. Zane takes a few steps back and charges to send him off, but Travis pulls the top rope down and Zane spills out to the floor!
 
Vinegar: What a crash!
Covert Jay: WHAM! BOOM! *COLLISION NOISES*
Leiberjosch: Jesus. Settle down!
 
Travis drops down and checks his face for blood after that elbow. He stomps on Zane who is barely trying to get up. In the ring, Alice has started her ten count. Travis picks Zane up and whips him into the steel steps. Zane catches himself before he hits them and turns around, right into a body tackle from Travis! Right into the steps!!!!
 
Covert Jay: WHAM! BOO-
Leiberjosch: NOPE!
Vinegar: Zane and Travis are not holding back in this match!
 
Alice is up to 4 on her count. Travis picks up Zane and slams his head off the ring apron. Zane shakes it off, real fast, and returns the favor to his opponent. As Alice reaches 7 on the count, Zane hurls Travis into the steel steps. He rolls into the ring and right back out to reset the count.
 
Vinegar: Zane playing smart here. Keeping Travis on the outside to do the most damage.
Leiberjosch: Veteran instincts. For both of them though. This is a true and pure fight of some of the best.
Covert Jay: It’s nice to hear you say nice things about these guys.
 
Zane picks Travis up and hits a snap suplex on the floor! Travis screams out in pain. Alice is back up to 4 on her count. Zane is up and picks Travis up. He whips him right into the barricade. While Zane is slowly walking over to Travis, Alice gets to 7 again on the count.
 
Vinegar: Alice Nasmith is almost to ten! They better hurry!
Leiberjosch: Zane in control here, he won’t lose or win via countout.
 
Zane grabs Travis and rolls him back into the ring, before following in himself. Alice stops the count at 8, almost 9. Zane picks Travis up and sends him into the corner. He is right behind him and splashes right into him.
 
Leiberjosch: Zane is really giving it to Travis here.
Vinegar: He’s not letting up one bit.
Covert Jay: Who’s your money on?
Vinegar: Bets should’ve happened before the match. But my money is on Zane!
Covert Jay: Dibs on opposite Nick!
 
Travis staggers out of the corner and Zane pulls him in for a belly to belly suplex but Travis floats out of it and falls to the mat. Zane turns around and goes to grab him but Travis is up and swings wildly for a clothesline. He misses! Zane follows through and picks him up. FULL THROATED!!!! Zane drops into the cover!!!! Alice slides into position!
 
Leiberjosch: FULL THROATED!
Covert Jay: COVER!!!!
 
 
 
 
 



 
1!!!!!
 




 
 
 
 
 
2!!!!!!!
 
 
 



 
 
 
THR-KICK OUT!!!!!!!!
 
 
 
Travis gets the shoulder up right before 3!!! Zane’s face goes to angry, real fast. He pulls Travis pulls Travis up and sets him up for In Cold Blood! Travis starts to elbow his way out of it but Zane holds on! Travis squirms and is able to reach and grab the ropes! Zane tries to get him off of them but can’t.
 
Vinegar: Travis using his veteran instincts to get himself free!
Covert Jay: These two are so good.
Leiberjosch: Up for debate, but this is one hell of a match!
 
Zane finally drops Travis and clubs him from behind. He pulls Travis back and goes for a back body drop, but Travis flips over out of it! He hits a chop block on Zane! He pulls Zane up and hits him with The Breakdown! Travis covers and Alice slides into position!
 
Covert Jay: COVER!!!!!!!
 
 
 



 
 
1!!!!!!
 
 



 
 
 
 
2!!!!!!
 
 
 


 
 
 
 
THR-NO!!!! KICK OUT!!!!




 
 
Vinegar: Oh my word! That was SO close!
Covert Jay: Close as it gets!
 
 
Zane kicks out just in time! Travis can’t believe it and gets up. He grabs Zane and goes for Signing Off but Zane is able to counter out of it, purely out of desperation! Travis stumbles from the struggle and Zane hits the mat. Zane pulls himself up with the ropes and Travis turns around, staggered.
 
Vinegar: Zane has an opening here!
Leiberjosch: Capitalize!!!!
Covert Jay: DON’T DO IT ZANE!
 
Zane pops up and rushes Travis! Travis ducks under an oncoming clothesline. Travis turns to grab Zane, but catches a back elbow. Zane turns around and pulls Travis in for Exiled and Erased! Travis floats out over the back. Travis runs and comes off the opposite ropes and as Zane turns around, Travis hits him with The Truth Hurts!!! Travis drops into the cover and Alice slides into positon!
 
Vinegar: THE TRUTH HURTS!
Leiberjosch: OUT OF FREAKING NOWHERE!!!!
Covert Jay: COVER!!!!!!!!!!!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
1!!!!!!!!!!!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
2!!!!!!!!!!!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
 
 
 
 
DING DING DING!!!
 
 
 
 
 
Mitchell Dennis: Here is your winner and the NEWWWWWWWW UGWC CONQUEST CHAMPOION……THE ICON OF ENTERTAINMENT…..TRRRRAAAVVVVIIIIISSSSSSSS PPPPIIIIIIIEEEEERRRRRRCCCCEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Vinegar: Travis Pierce did it! He is the Conquest Champion!!!!
Covert Jay: HA! You lose. Pay up, honky!
Vinegar: We didn’t even put a wager on it!
Covert Jay: Nachos. Stat!
Leiberjosch: What a freaking match. Zane has nothing to be ashamed of. On this night, Travis Pierce was the better man.
Vinegar: Right you are Doc! Please keep yourself tuned in, those at home. Up next we have Holden Orson taking on his former friend, Rogan Maclean!

[UGWC Staff]

Vinegar: Our next match pits two of the members of the Hall of Fame stable “The Engine of Choas” against each other.

Lieberjosch: Holden Orson has seemed to have fallen into his trademark obsession with someone who wronged him. Since his return, his successes has been up and down, but he does hold a singles victory over the former World Champion and his former stablemate Rogan MacLean.

Vinegar: Well don’t forget, the Cooperative title that Rogan carries was won from Holden Orson and Fear. Orson’s obsessions have always seemed to get him into trouble. His mentor, Wafer, Alan Wallace, a brief obsession with Travis Roberts. All of it led to hard times for Orson.

Lieberjosch: What about his obsession with the great 1860’s sculptor and inventor Jan Wnęk.

Vinegar: Er.. great? I never heard of him… her?

Lieberjosch: Scoff.

Vinegar: The bulk of the animosity does seem to be on the side of Orson, but it seems like he’s starting to get under the skin of his former EoC Brother. This should be interesting!

Dennis: The following match is for one fall!! Introducing first, from Galway, Ireland, he is one half of the UGWC Cooperative Champions…. ROOOOOGAAAAANNN MAAAACLEAAAAANNNN!!!!

The gentle, yet ominous beginnings of Mike Shinoda’s mix of “Passenger” by the Deftones begins to play. On the GlobalTron, a highway passes by quickly in the night from the front of a vehicle. The view moves from the front of the vehicle to the side, a dark silhouette sitting in the passenger seat, and then to the night sky itself. The beat begins to pick up and the image of a smiling Rogan MacLean begins to fade in place of the Buick scurrying down the desert highway, and then fades out just as quickly to two headlights and a license plate that reads RFM. The first verse kicks in and Rogan steps out onto the stage.

Here I lay, still and breathless
Just like always
Still I want some more
Mirrors sideways
Who cares what’s behind?
Just like always
Still your passenger

He makes his way down to the ring, gazing at the crowd. He stops at the ring, grinning, before climbing up to the apron.

This time won’t you please…
Drive faster
Roll the windows down, this
Cool night air is curious
Let the whole world look in
Who cares who sees anything?

He steps into the ring and spreads his arms with a grin. After taking in the crowd’s reaction, he kneels down in the center of the ring, just as he’s always done, and pays his respect to the ring he’s competing in.

I’m your passenger

He finally stands and walks to his corner, where he looks to eagerly be anticipating Holden’s arrival.

Vinegar: Former World Champion. Former Conquest Champion. 2 time Chaos Champion. 5 time and reigning Cooperative Champion. Hall of Famer with the Engine of Chaos! Ready to go, at Horizons!!!

Dennis: Introducing next. From Gas, Kansas. HOOOOOLLLLLDDEEEEEENNN OOOORSOOOOONNNN!!!!!

'Clint Eastwood' by Gorillaz plays over the PA.

Lieberjosch: 3 Time Cooperative Champion, 1 time Chaos Champion, and 1 time Cross Hemisphere Champion! Also a Hall of Famer with the Engine of Chaos!!! Coming out second because coming out first is too Mainstream!

Vinegar: Well…. where is he?

Lieberjosch: He always takes a while, it’s his style. Shut up and enjoy the song.

The song continues to play, but after a full minute passes, Rogan looks perturbed in the ring.

Vinegar: He doesn’t usually take this long does he?

Liberjosh: It’s Horizons! And he’s playing with Rogan. Holden is always into these odd mind games. No wonder Fear is friends with him.

The song hits the midway point and fades out. The GlobalTron shows a scene backstage. Holden is outside the dressing room that has both the names of Lucy Wyle and Rogan MacLean on it. Jet Somers and a group of security seem to be holding him back.

Holden: Let me go, Andy Griffith!

Jet Somers: I think you mean Opie!

Seeing the scene, Rogan darts out of the ring and starts to run backstage.

Holden briefly breaks away and kicks the door. It doesn't give way but shudders hard. He’s quickly tackled by Jet Somers and security.

Jet Somers: This is cheap, even for you Holden!

Holden wrestles himself free and squares up to Jet and the security.

Holden: Let’s just say Tempest is about to owe me a favor.

Rogan has made his way backstage and knocks down Holden with a forearm to the back of his head. He goes for more but Jet Somers steps in to break it up. He pushes Rogan back a step.

Jet Somers: In the ring!!

Rogan flips Jet Somers a bird and turns his attention back to Holden. Holden stands up and hits Rogan with a cheap kick to the crotch. Jet then turns his attention to Holden, but Holden repeats the low blow to Jet. Holden starts to lay out the security team with rights until Rogan recovers and throws Holden against the wall. Jet starts to stand up, but Rogan glares at him.

Rogan: Don’t!

Vinegar: Holden was going after Lucy Wylde! She’s about to main event the biggest show of the year and Holden was trying to screw her over just to get to Rogan! Is this still just a mind game Hans?

Lieberjosch: I knew this was personal with Holden, but I didn’t think he’d go that far.

Rogan takes Holden and drags him away from security and the dressing room. Holden tries to shake off the slam against the wall but Rogan tosses Holden into the nearest pile of equipment he can see. Holden groans but rolls away from Rogan when he tries to follow up with an attack.

Vinegar: They are not headed towards the ring.

Lieberjosch: Is this match even going to happen? It’s Horizons!!

Holden walks backwards facing Rogan. Holden jukes out of the way when Rogan lunges out to attack. Holden seems to be working his way out of the arena.

Rogan: I thought you wanted to end me!

Rogan stops and he sees a fire extinguisher on the wall. He punches through the glass and retrieves it. Holden moves forward for a second to stop him but pauses when he realizes he’s too late. Rogan points the extinguisher at Holden and smiles. Holden freezes up for a second before he turns around to run.

Lieberjosch: This is not proper fire safety!

Rogan sprays the extinguisher covering a fleeing Holden Orson. Orson slips in the white mess and falls on his to the ground.

Vinegar: Well, Holden is no longer on fire.

Lieberjosch: He never was!

Holden uses his hands to try and back away from Rogan who’s advancing while still spraying. As the extinguisher runs out Holden starts to climb to his feet. Rogan launches an empty canister and nails Holden Orson in the face with it! Holden’s mask flies off as he sprawls out on the ground.

Vinegar: That had to hurt.

Fresh off his match, Zane Scott is walking the backstage area and sees the toss. Never a fan of Holden Orson, he smiles.

Zane: Scoff.

Zane walks away and Rogan mounts and starts pummeling Holden who can’t seem to defend himself. Holden screams out to Rogan through gasping breaths.

Holden: Roo… gan. ROGAN!!

Rogan pauses, fist cocked.

Holden: Stop… please.

Rogan relaxes his fist and pulls Holden up by his shirt and gets face to face with Holden.

Rogan: You asked for-

Holden quickly lunges out and bites at Rogan’s nose. Rogan turns and saves his nose, but Holden gets a clamp on his cheek bone. Rogan screams out in pain and Holden pushes Rogan off of him. Rogan falls to his back holding his cheek. Holden slowly stands up and spits out blood.

Lieberjosch: Christ on a cracker! Is that Holden’s blood or Rogan’s?

Vinegar: Probably both.

Lieberjosch: Opie needs to stop tending to his balls and get someone to stop these two.

Holden, still laboring from Rogan’s assault, kicks Rogan in the head a few times. Finally he picks him up in a headlock and starts walking him towards an exit.

Holden: Let’s go for a ride Rogan!!

Holden reaches an exit and kicks open the door, taking Rogan outside. Camera’s struggle to keep up with them.

Vinegar: That’s where the sound truck and many of the UGWC travel vehicles are stored.

Lieberjosh: There’s gotta be a camera out there! Follow them!

Finally, a camera runs around the corner and sees Rogan and Holden trading punches near the sound truck.

Vinegar: Rogan is fighting back!

Holden starts to get the advantage as Rogan ends up leaning against the sound truck itself to prevent himself from falling. Holden kicks Rogan in the gut and sends him sitting on his ass. Holden looks around for a foreign object, but can't seem to find anything. Holden opens up the sound truck door and climbs inside. Staff inside start screaming at him to leave. Holden pushes one man off a folding chair and grabs it. He starts to walk out, but pauses, starting at a large cable.

Vinegar: He needs to get out of there!

Lieberjosch: He’s going to cut–

Holden yanks on a cord and cuts audio to the broadcast. He walks back outside and sees Rogan trying to get to his feet. Holden slams the chair across the back of Rogan and takes a knee, obviously exhausted.

After a moment, Rogan starts to stir again so Holden starts to slam the chair into Rogans back over and over again. With Rogan out cold, Holden starts to wrap the long cord he pulled from the sound truck around Rogans neck and ties it.

Holden starts to walk away and pushes down the camera man as he does. The camera falls and the camera shows the side of the sound truck. The camera man slowly gets back to his feet, taking a couple moments to grab the camera and get a shot again.

The camera focuses on Rogan who’s still laid out. After another moment a pick-up truck used to carry equipment across the venue arrives, driven by Holden. Holden backs up to where Rogan lies and gets out of the truck. Rogan starts to climb to his feet and quickly realizes what’s happening. He jumps at Holden and tackles him.

Rogan is in a frenzy and starts to wail on Holden. Rogans knuckles bleed as he pummels the unmasked face of Holden Orson. After countless punches, and his knuckles rip to shreds, Rogan stops, panting to catch his breath. Holden is unconscious and laid out on the asphalt, blood pooling under him. Rogan unties the cord around his neck and tosses it aside. He then looks at the still running pick up truck and stumbles to the open driver’s side door. .

Rogan’s face shows a look that we haven’t seen in a long time as he stares down the unconscious body of Holden Orson. He starts to climb into the truck when the camera catches an arm holding a taser come into view. Caught by surprise, Rogan shakes with the prod of the taser. The camera pans back and sees Ichabod, leaning on crutches, struggling to keep the taser locked on Rogan long enough to take him out. Rogan finally hits the floor and Jet Somers and security finally arrive. Jet is seen talking into a walkie talkie and directing security and the staff of the UGWC sound truck. Neither Rogan or Holden move.

The light of ambulance sirens starts to illuminate the area as it seems the sound truck has gotten audio back.

Vinegar: Testing– Yes I can hear you.

Lieberjosh: Roger so can I.

Audio hits the broadcast again as the murmur of the staff and sound of the siren blasts out. Jet Somers is seen talking into a walkie.

Jet Somers: They’re both down, both look hurt.

Lieberjosch: Someone in the back, I’m getting a crackle in my headset — yes that’s better — testing— wait did you just fart in the headset?

Vinegar: I think we owe Ichabod there. Who knows what Rogan was about to do.

Lieberjosh: It’s likely just as bad as what Holden tried to do. Stretchers appear with paramedics who starts to load up both Rogan and Holden.

Vinegar: This didn’t seem to solve anything. It’s likely not the end of the war these two have started.

Both Rogan and Holden are loaded into ambulances by the paramedics. Ichabod sits in the cab of the truck talking to Jet Somers.

Vinergar: Well I’ve been told the match between Holden Orson and Rogan MacLean is not going to happen tonight folks. Jet Somers has called it a No Contest.

Lieberjosch: As much as that sucks, they nearly killed each other out there.

Vinegar: I’m glad we’ll have a break before these two are able to be in the ring again.

[UGWC Staff]

Vinegar: We’re off to a fantastic start at Horizons, already a new champion crowned!

Covert Jay: Kind of hard not to have that happen when the title was vacant.

Lieberjosch: It’s time now for perhaps the most dominant champion in UGWC today to face his biggest challenge yet!

The sound of a winding filmstrip can be heard as the arena is bathed in dim sepia light. A trumpet sounds accompanied by a spotlight emanating from the curtain. It backlights a man in a top hat, with a cane slung over his left shoulder. As a tinny voice begins to sing, the silhouetted figure moves along with the directions of the lyrics.

As you can see

I go back and forth

That's right

Side to side

Back and forth

Back and forth

Back and side to side

The music picks up some energy right as the spotlight switches to shine from the rafters, illuminating the grinning face of Montague Cervantes dressed in an elaborate jacket and a jauntily-cocked top hat. When the auto-tuned verse begins, "Listen to me, Listen to me" he starts making his way toward the ring, turning, flourishing, bowing, and two stepping along with the music.

Mitchell Dennis: The following is a Hard Ten Match for the Chaos Championship! Introducing first, representing the AstroCreeps, the Doctor-Professor, MONTAGUE CERRRVANNNTEESSSS!!!

Vinegar: It was quite a year for the Showman, winning the Global Challenge and making the most of an opportunity to win the World Heavyweight Championship, though following his loss of the title at Outlast he seemed to take a step back and defer to Tempest in the latter half of the year.

Lieberjosch: Montague is back in the environment that he has thrived in tonight. Two years ago he successfully defended the Chaos Championship at Horizons, tonight he tries to win the title for the third time in his career.

The opening beat for “Bankrupt” plays over a darkened arena. Blue strobes flash. Shane Told’s shrilling voice hits the PA ”BLOW IT UP!” A massive pyro explodes as the song picks up in full force. The lights flash blue and white as Chuck Rydell steps onto the stage. He soaks in the fan fare as he makes his way down to the ring. He climbs on the apron and wipes his feet before he climbs through the ropes. He hits the furthest turnbuckle and plays to the crowd before hopping down. He tosses his shirt into the crowd and does a final quick stretch before the match.

Mitchell Dennis: Now making his way to the ring, CHUCK RYYYDEELLLLLLLL!!!

Vinegar: The second of six competitors now in the ring for this Hard Ten Match. Jay, please remind everyone of the rules.

Covert Jay: You get a point for every use of a unique weapon, five points for putting someone through a table with an offensive maneuver. First to ten points wins!

Ken Davison is all business as he storms down the ramp to the ring.

Mitchell Dennis: Representing the Baltimore Elite, KENNN DAVVIISSSSONNNN!!!

Vinegar: The Baltimore Elite had a dominant run as the Cooperative Champions this year, but tonight represents an opportunity for Ken Davison to claim UGWC singles gold for the first time!

Lieberjosch: Davison also challenged last month at Keeper of the Keys, that was in a triple threat match. I for one would love to see Davison and Seb go head to head directly, but tonight it’ll happen in a six pack challenge!

"Mz Hyde" by Halestorm begins wailing over the PA system as the 'Jawdropper' steps out from behind the curtain, clad in her trademarked orange cropped tank top, baggy grey sweatpants and skater shoes. She's got a playful grin on her lips as she stops at the top of the ramp and motions out to the cheering crowd. Easily noticed is the full bottle of Jack Daniels she's holding in her right hand as she begins down the ramp, slapping the fans hands with her free hand along the way.

I can be the bitch,
I can play the whore,
Or your fairytale princess who could ask for more
A touch of wicked,
A pinch of risque,
Good girl gone bad, my poison is your remedy

As the lyrics continue, Johnson slides into the ring under the bottom rope and rises to her feet, moving into the nearest corner and jumping up onto the second turnbuckle. She motions to the crowd once more as she pops open the whiskey bottle, toasting the crowd before taking a swig! The crowd continues cheering as she jumps down and seals the bottle, dropping it in that very same corner before she begins circling the ring, awaiting the match to begin.

Mitchell Dennis: Also representing Baltimore Elite, KYRA JOHHNNNSONNNN!!!

Vinegar: Not enough can be said about the domination of Baltimore Elite this year, but tonight marks the rare instance that Davison and Johnson will actually be in competition against each other.

Covert Jay: As a reminder, you earn points in this match by using weapons, by you only earn a point for the first use of a weapon, further use of an already used weapon does not earn points.

Vinegar: Hazel East is the lead official in this match, but Alice Nasmith and Sam Green are both present as well, there’s going to be a lot to keep track of.

Lieberjosch: And timekeeper Claude de Rhombus will keep it all in a nice chart, won’t you, Claude?

Claude de Rhombus: Va te faire foutre.

Cold by Static-X plays over the sound system as Konrad comes out through the curtain with his flanged German mace, wearing his blue and black facepaint with his black and blue gear along with his wrestling trousers with his nickname The Black Ice on the back of them with Pit Bull Energy logos on the side of his trousers with black gloves on both of his hands. He has the blue and black yin-yang tattoo on his right shoulder and Iceman from X-Men tattoo on his back, ice wolf tattoo on his left chest, ice bear tattoo on his right chest and flame cage tattoo on his left shoulder. Also has a penguin, walrus and a polar bear stitching on the left-hand side of his chest, stating Stop Climate Change.

Mitchell Dennis: From Cologne, Germany, he is The Black Ice, KONNRADDD RAAAABBBBB!!!!

He ignores the fans due to his focus on wanting to fight in the ring as he walks down the ramp with his flanged German mace with him. He goes up the stairs before going in between the ropes and laying the flanged German mace on the turnbuckle. He then sits down in the corner of the ring with the crowd booing for him, having a nasty look in his eyes.

Lieberjosch: I am loving the recent aggression and anger displayed by the Black Ice. He is finding himself at home in the Chaos division, his overwhelming rage and violence will undoubtedly be an asset tonight.

The lights in the arena dip to black in time with the sirens and beat to the opening of Sweatpants (BattleTapes Remix) by Childish Gambino, the lights then beginning to flash, alternating left and right onto the ramp. In time, the letters "S", "E", "B", and then "Empire" flash one at a time on the big screen until the lights stop flashing as the lyrics hit.

"She askin' “Why you say that?!”

The beat drops and the lights flash on the rampway again. As they do, the screen illuminates with "SEB" and then "EMPIRE" flashing on the sceen.

"Rich kid asshole, paint me as a villain"

Sebastian Everett-Bryce flings his arms wide, staring up with his head covered by the hood of his jacket. He stands in the middle of the ramp, the lights beating down on him, before looking out at the crowd. He wears a long jacket with the hood pulled up over his head, zipped to the waist. The jacket, which is cut away at the bottom and only runs down the back of his legs, is patterned with an elongated Union Flag, but it’s in black and white and appears to be cracked and broken. His tights are short, with the initials SEB emblazoned upon the front.

The lights lift, and SEB makes his way to the ring, stretching his neck from side to side as he walks, his eyes focused on the ring. He climbs up the steps and steps through the ropes before standing in the middle of the ring.

"I'm winnin', yeah, yeah, I'm winnin' (What?)
Rich kid, asshole, paint me as a villain"

He extends his arms once more before pulling back his hood and removing his jacket to reveal the back of his tights which read “S.E.B”

"Don't be mad cause I'm doing me better than you doing you
Better than you doing you, fuck it, what you gon' do? (What?!)"

He flashes his arms out to a side, a satisfied and somewhat sneery grin upon his face, he holds the position for a moment, to allow the crowd to take pictures, before moving towards his corner.

Mitchell Dennis: He is the reigning AND defending Chaos Champion, the Mauler of Markham Square, SEBASTIAN EVERETTTTTTT BRYYYYYYYYCCCCEEEEEEE!!!

Covert Jay: The Crocless Wonder himself!

Vinegar: It’s been an epic championship reign for Sebastian Everett-Bryce ever since he defeated Tony Savage for the title back in April. His five successful defenses is tied with Le Bord de Dieu for the second most during a single reign in history, the record of six belongs to the Natural Born Killer, set all the way back in 2011.

Lieberjosch: The two reigns hardly compare. NBK defended against the likes of Enigma and the Crimson Ghost. Seb had to deal with JC and Ken Davison. NBK logged two defenses against “The Original Aboriginal” Paul Cockatoo. Seb did the same against Montague Cervantes.

Covert Jay: Do you remember who NBK originally beat to win the title to begin with?

Lieberjosch: Medos.

Covert Jay: You tres.

Lieberjosch: I don’t miss that joke at all.

DING DING!!!

Vinegar: The Hard Ten match is underway, Konrad Raab looking to use his flanged mace right away, but Seb catches him with an immediate Empire Kick!

Lieberjosch: Kyra tosses her whiskey bottle over the head of a confused Chuck Rydell, but Davison catches it and smashes the bottle over Rydell’s head!

Vinegar: First point of the match goes to Ken Davison, as Seb picks up the mace where Raab dropped it, only to drop it himself as Johnson backs him into the corner with a series of forearm shots, and stomps him down against the bottom turnbuckle.

Covert Jay: Monty had slipped under the ropes to the outside, and he is setting up a table at ringside. Keep in mind that tables are worth five points if you can put someone through them with an offensive move, and you CAN repeat that.

Vinegar: Cervantes just has the table set up as Davison grabs him from behind and slams his head into the table. He tries to lift Cervantes, but the Doctor-Professor catches him with an elbow and slips away.

Lieberjosch: Davison chases after him and shoves him down from behind, with Monty’s top half disappearing underneath the apron.

Vinegar: Davison grabs him by the legs and yanks him back out, but Cervantes has something in his hands and cracks Davison in the face with it!

Covert Jay: It’s War and Peace!

Lieberjosch: Looks like the hardcover edition too.

Vinegar: Cervantes looks back at the table that he set up, meanwhile in the ring Rydell is getting back to his feet, Johnson charges at him.

Covert Jay: But Rydell sidesteps and tosses her through the ropes, and she crashes through the table!

Vinegar: Five points and a commanding lead taken by Chuck Rydell!

Lieberjosch: And a deep sigh from a disappointed Montague Cervantes, as we take a moment to check the scoreboard!

Current Scores

Chuck Rydell - 5

Ken Davison - 1

Montague Cervantes - 1

Konrad Raab - 0

Kyra Johnson - 0

Sebastian Everett-Bryce - 0

Vinegar: Rydell picks up the flanged mace as Cervantes slides in the ring with a steel chair. Cervantes goes to swing the chair, but Rydell deflects it with the mace, knocking the chair from the Showman’s hand!

Lieberjosch: Rydell points the mace at Cervantes, who puts his hands up to stall a moment, before raising a single finger with his left hand and thrusting within his jacket with his right!

Vinegar: Chuck Rydell hesitates, confused, before Cervantes brings his hand back out with a flourish to reveal…

Covert Jay: Nothing! It’s empty!

Lieberjosch: But he quickly jabs with the other hand and pokes Rydell in the eye!

Vinegar: Rydell staggers blindly, and Cervantes rushes past him and springboards off the top rope for Lament for a Toy Factory!

Lieberjosch: Cervantes picks up the dropped flanged mace, but is immediately tackled to the mat by Konrad Raab, and Raab rains blows upon him!

Covert Jay: Don’t touch another man’s flang!

Vinegar: Seb is on the outside setting up another table, opposite the side of the ring where Kyra Johnson still lays in the broken shards of the first one.

Lieberjosch: Raab reclaims his mace as Rydell is still rubbing his eye, and Raab clobbers him with the mace!

Vinegar: And Raab turns and smacks Cervantes with the mace as well!

Lieberjosch: Another shot with the mace to Chuck Rydell!

Vinegar: Davison rolls into the ring with a kendo stick, cracks Raab in the back with it, but Raab is barely fazed before turning and slamming Davison in the chest with the mace!

Lieberjosch: Konrad Raab is a crazed man possessed, delivering another round of blows with the mace to his three victims!

Covert Jay: All this only counts as one point. Just saying.

Vinegar: Raab goes to hit Cervantes again, but Seb is in the ring, he’s got a cattle prod!

Lieberjosch: Seb thrusts the prod into the chest of Raab, electrocuting him!

Covert Jay: It’s a point for Seb, but Raab is unfazed! The unbridled frozen rage and fury of the Black Ice refuses to sell for electrocution!

Vinegar: Raab snatches the prod away from a startled Seb, and Seb rolls out of the ring and backs up alongside the ramp as Raab storms after him in pursuit, and we take the opportunity to check in on the scoreboard.

Current Scores

Chuck Rydell - 5

Ken Davison - 2

Konrad Raab - 1

Montague Cervantes - 1

Sebastian Everett-Bryce - 1

Kyra Johnson - 0

Lieberjosch: Chuck Rydell still with a wide lead, but Davison has the steel chair, and he slams it right into Rydell’s back!

Vinegar: Seb and Raab are alongside the stage, Raab pursuing Seb with that cattle prod, they’re right by the electrical equipment that powers our broadcast, and I don’t like the look at this!

Lieberjosch: Seb’s backed into the equipment, Raab has him cornered, and Raab thrusts with the prod!

Covert Jay: Seb moves out of-

Lieberjosch: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON’T STICK IT THERE!!!

Claude de Rhombus: Touche pas à ma cloche, espèce de bâtard!

Vinegar: JESUS CHRIST ON A POGO STICK, THIS MAN’S A FATHER!!

Vinegar: Ken Davison holding onto Johnson’s arms through the ropes, trying to prevent him from falling back into that table!

Covert Jay: Monty vaults over Davison, crashing into Kyra with a crossbody tackle and driving her through the table!

Vinegar: We’re being told that our broadcast has been fully restored, apparently we were in and out for a few minutes there, and folks, we deeply apologize.

Lieberjosch: What are you apologizing for? They lucked out, I feel like I have to bleach my eyes after what’s transpired the past few minutes.

Vinegar: In any case, let’s check in on the scores.

Current Scores

Montague Cervantes - 7

Chuck Rydell - 5

Sebastian Everett-Bryce - 4

Ken Davison - 3

Konrad Raab - 3

Kyra Johnson - 2

Vinegar: Seb’s got the cactus, I can’t believe we’re still using that thing considering where it was stuck a couple minutes ago, and he throws it at Rydell and hits him in the side of the head with it!

Lieberjosch: Enough with the cactus please.

Covert Jay: You’d really think Seb of all people would be done with that thing by this point.

Vinegar: Davison’s got Cervantes up on the apron, right in front of the table alongside the one that Cervantes and Johnson just went through!

Lieberjosch: FALL FROM GRACE!!!

Vinegar: Ken Davison picks up five points!

Covert Jay: And jumps into the lead as we check the scoreboard again!

Current Scores

Ken Davison - 8

Montague Cervantes - 7

Chuck Rydell - 5

Sebastian Everett-Bryce - 5

Konrad Raab - 3

Kyra Johnson - 2

Vinegar: Davison’s taken himself out as well with the Fall From Grace through the table, as Seb just pulled another table out from under the ring and has brought it inside.

Lieberjosch: Seb leans the table against a corner, but Chuck Rydell is back in behind him and connects with Call It Karma!

Vinegar: Rydell grabs Seb and backs away, he’s going to run Seb through the table!

Covert Jay: Raab rolls into the ring and dives at Rydell, smacking him in the face with the staple gun!

Lieberjosch: Saves the match right there, Rydell would have won had he put Seb through the table.

Vinegar: And now Raab uses the staple gun to fire a series of staples into Seb’s side and back!

Lieberjosch: You have to figure that’s payback for what Seb did to him earlier with the space heater.

Vinegar: Raab takes the table out of the corner and sets it up traditionally right in front of it, and now he brings Rydell to the corner.

Lieberjosch: Raab stands on the second rope, lifts Rydell into a powerbomb position, but Rydell fights back, unleashing a series of blows on the Black Ice!

Vinegar: Seb jumps onto the table, leaps over to the corner, he’s got Rydell from behind!

Covert Jay: SPIDER SUPLEX LAUNCHES RYDELL OFF THE TURNBUCKLE AND THROUGH THE TABLE!!!

Lieberjosch: That does it!

Final Scores

Sebastian Everett-Bryce - 10

Ken Davison - 8

Chuck Rydell - 5

Montague Cervantes - 7

Konrad Raab - 4

Kyra Johnson - 2

Mitchell Dennis: Here is your winner, and STILL the Chaos Champion, SEBASTIAN EVVVVERRRETTTT BRRYYYYYYCCCCEEEEE!!!

Vinegar: What a victory for Sebastian Everett-Bryce!

Lieberjosch: He fought from behind for most of the match, but the Chelsea Crippler understood that this match was a marathon and not a sprint.

Vinegar: Record-tying defense for Seb, can’t have a better place for it to happen than here at Horizons.

Covert Jay: Really impressive considering everything that happened to him during the match, particularly when the cactus-

Lieberjosch: Can we please never speak of that again? Let’s just move on. Thank you.

[UGWC Staff]

(YouTube Video Drop with Karen from HR. In Jacuzzi and Bambi in Jacuzzi with champagne on Ice. And Glass in hand hair in the bun. As Bambi kissing on while on Karen lap.)

(Karen)

So the reports with issues UGWC. The Unified Global Wrestling Coalition. Conflicts that need problems are going to be dealt with soon.



(Takes Sips of her champagne)


(Karen)

I mean, if things keep pestering. Then get out of control. Then You’s someone like me to step in. Cause it’s how We Do Business. Cause it’s Nothing Personal and It’s What’s Best For Business! Tata tata for now.


(As Video Come to The End.)

[UGWC Staff]

Vinegar: We've had a thrilling night so far, and it's about to get kicked up another notch!

Covert Jay: Huzzah!

Lieberjosch: I'd like to see it go back to Vespertine. I like her attitude.

Vinegar: She's certainly a very colorful individual, and claiming another run as Cross-Hemisphere Champion would an important step for her in joining the company of the elite women athletes in UGWC history.

Lieberjosch: It would put her in the elite company of every multiple-time Cross-Hemisphere Champion.

Vinegar: Dave Rydell would become a seven-time Cross-Hemisphere Champion if he wins tonight, tying Phrixus Deimos.

Lieberjosch: He doesn't count.

Vinegar: He's a six-time Champion. He deserves respect for that.

Lieberjosch: I don't have to respect him for anything he does.

Covert Jay: What's the difference?

Vinegar: Hans hates Rydell. It's that simple.

Lieberjosch: I will neither confirm nor deny that. All I'm going to say is that none of those reigns have ever lasted for more than a month. Why should I respect that?

Vinegar: You do understand that it's difficult to win any championship, let alone six times.

Lieberjosch: He lost it easily every time.

Vinegar: Every champion loses.

Lieberjosch: Him more than most.

Vinegar: You're biased against him more than anyone else.

Covert Jay: I hope Vespertine. She's hot.

Lieberjosch: She’d rip out your spleen and feed it to you.

Covert Jay: I like kidney.

Vinegar: What?

Lieberjosch: What?

Covert Jay: What's wrong with liking kidney?

Vinegar: Nothing?

Lieberjosch: Yeah, when they're not human...

Covert Jay: I don't get it.

Vinegar: Moving on…

Lieberjosch: Yes. please do.

Covert Jay: I’m confused…

Lieberjosch: Your normal condition of existence.

Vinegar: In all of our talk about the two former Cross-Hemisphere Champions, let’s not forget the current Champion, Ezra Wolf.

Lieberjosch: Yes, young Ezra, the protege of Ezekiel Pax, has impressed early in his young career.

Vinegar: For someone who's only been here since about May, he’s building quite a resume for himself.

Lieberjosch: Starting a legacy by holding the Cross-Hemisphere Championship is a great path to set one’s career on.

Covert Jay: I’m still confused.

Lieberjosch: It’s still your normal condition of existence.

Vinegar: His mentor is a legend. If Ezra keeps learning from Zeke, he could surpass him.

Lieberjosch: I’m sure that’s exactly what he wants to do.

Vinegar: Retaining tonight over two former Cross-Hemisphere Champions would be a statement victory.

Lieberjosch: I don’t know about that. One of them is Rydell.

Vinegar: A six-time Champion. Only Phrixus Deimos has held it more.

Lieberjosch: I’ll never get the chance to enjoy him losing again if we don’t get things going.

Vinegar: I wouldn’t have phrased it that way, but let’s go to the ring!

Covert Jay: I’m still confused...

Mitchell Dennis: Ladies and gentlemen, this match is for ONE FALL

Fans: ONE FALL!!

Lieberjosch: I hate that...

Dennis: And it is for the CROSS-HEMISPHERE CHAMPIONSHIP. Introducing FIRST...



(The sound of a Japanese flute starts out playing quietly over the loudspeakers and the lights go down. The Tron comes up and we see two armies standing face to face on a battlefield. The flute continues playing and the camera on the Tron gets closer to the two armies. The camera shifts to where we just see Vespertine's eyes.)

(The camera cuts back to a scene of two armies. The Japanese flute plays louder. Both armies are huge and they are an army of shogun, ronin, and samurai. As the army walks forward a single figure comes into view and emerges from the line. The figure raises their sword and as one the entire army stops. The figure runs forward and gets atop a boulder to look out. The camera goes over their shoulder and we see the other army standing as a wall in the distance. The figure/leader takes off their helmet and long black hair tumbles out from it and flows all around, sometimes waving and weaving in places where the wind catches it. The figure turns and looks at the army behind them and we see it is Vespertine. She raises her sword and roars in fury. Camera cuts scene and the Japanese flute stops.)

(Camera cuts back to scene of her army raising their own swords and shouting in fury. The camera pans back quickly and she does the motion of forward with her sword and the camera goes up and we see her entire army run forward to join in the fray below. The song "Gasoline" not the bridge at the start but where Porcelain starts to sing.)

"Don't get in my face
Don't invade my space
I'll put you in your place
I'll only tell you once
I'll never tell you twice
And this is me being nice"

(Suddenly red and purple spotlights come up and she does a Gangrel type appearance where she comes up from under the stage. From somewhere fans blow over her catching her cape and her hood. The pictures on the tron capture her wrestling in the ring interspersed with pictures of her modeling on the beach or laying by the pool.)

"Cause I'm highly flammable
A caged up animal
I will go off on you
You better take it back
I'm about to snap
I will go off on you"


(One arm is raised and her katana sword is pointed at the sky. Vespertine stands facing the audience. When the lift stops, she steps off and brings the Katana down rather quickly to point it at the ring ring. Where upon a couple of fire pyro pillars go off on each side of her and various sections on the way to the ring. She walks down to the ring, stepping in time to the music. When she gets to the ring, she kneels and prepares a small ritual for her match tonight.)


"When it's your turn
You'll get your lesson learned
You'll be blister burned
My adrenaline is going to do you in
I'm seeing red again"


(Then she gets up and slides in underneath the ropes, where she takes her katana and points it at all corners of the arena. Then she points it at the ceiling and immediately brings it down quickly. Upon doing this, at each corner of the ring, showers of sparks come flying out. She looks around and the arena lights come up. She takes off her cape and hood and and gives them, and the katana, to a techie outside the ring and goes to crouch by the turnbuckle facing the ring entrance until the match starts)

Ring Introduction: Hailing from San Francisco, Ca, she is the Well Rounded Fighting Machine, the Asian Invasion VESPERTINE!!!!

Lieberjosch: Vespertine put out a very unique promo this week, and she’s made it quite clear thaat there’s nothing that either man can do to keep her from reclaiming what she’d previously held.

Vinegar: She and Rydell clearly loathe each other, and Ezra thinks she’s “delusional.”

Lieberjosch: Ezra is the champion. He can make whatever claims he likes about her.

Vinegar: She might make him eat those words.

Lieberjosch: If she can, she’ll walk out the winner.

Vinegar: To do that, she’ll have to possibly beat not just him, but our next contestant.

Dennis: Introducing one of her opponents...



The opening drum beats and guitar riffs to “My Will Be A Dead Man” by Project 86 blare. The lights flicker and as the song picks up, Dave Rydell saunters out onto the stage. He is cloaked in the black, leather, hooded trench coat, as well as the mask. He leans over and adjusts the blousing off his multicam pants over his combat boots before walking down the ramp to the ring. As the lights around the arena glow an orange/red glow, he walks up the steps and climbs through the ropes. He pauses for a moment, facing one side of the arena. He pulls his hood back and flares out into the crowd as he removes his mask. He removes his trench coat and tosses both items to ringside, and does a quick arm and back stretch before his match.

Dennis: Standing in today at five-feet, ten inches tall and weighing two hundred and eleven pounds, he hails from Fredericksberg, Virginia and will be SEVEN TIME Cross Hemisphere Champion if he wins tonight, ladies and gentlemen, he is DAAAAAVE RYYYYYYDEEEEELLLLLL!!!!

Vinegar: Vespertine stared daggers at him from the second he stepped out onto the ramp.

Lieberjosch: It looked to me like his never broke from her under his mask.

Vinegar: There’s certainly a lot of bad blood between these two. She’s gone to great pains to insult, demean, and minimize him as a person and as a wrestler. We know Rydell well enough to know how much he seethes at that disrespect.

Lieberjosch: He’s always been a whiner. He should know better than to let someone with a tenth of his experience bother him.

Vinegar: He, like you, is a prideful man, Hans.

Lieberjosch: I’m prideful because I’m a genius. What does he have to be prideful about?

Vinegar: Before you lob out the next barrage of insults at a man who is, whether you like it or not, a UGWC icon, let’s get to our final introduction.

Lieberjosch: You’re no fun sometimes.

Vinegar: What’s that meme? The one with General Sherman flipping his sunglasses down over his eyes?

Covert Jay: Oh! You mean the “Deal With It” meme!

Vinegar: That’s the one. Have you seen it, Hans?

Lieberjosch: No. I don’t indulge in such…

Covert Jay: Wait for it.

Vinegar: Any second now.

Lieberjosch: Did you just tell me to shut up?

Covert Jay: There it is!

Vinegar: Not in so many words, Hans...but yes.

Lieberjosch: That’s hurtful, Nick. Especially this close to Christmas.

Vinegar I’ll suffer the coal for my impudence.

Lieberjosch: Sarcasm does not become you, Nicholas.

Vinegar: You’ll manage, Hans. Now, let’s go to Mitchell for the final introduction.



The lights go dark briefly before coming back on with green and purple spotlights surging throughout the arena as the words ‘I am the ma-aaaaaan’ come shouting through the PA system as ‘The Man’ by Small Town Titans begins to play. Once the lyrics start, Ezra Wolf and his girlfriend Nora make their way onto the stage. Ezra has the Co-Op Championship around his waist and the Cross-Hemisphere Championship over his shoulder. The two walk to the edge of the ramp then Ezra throws both arms in the air as green and purple pyro goes off behind him. Once the fireworks stop, Ezra gives Nora a quick kiss and points back toward the curtain.

As she heads off the stage, Ezra continues towards the ring. He holds the belt like a guitar and plays it to his music. Ezra climbs up onto the apron then the middle turnbuckle as he continues to play guitar on the belt and sing along to his music before unlatching the belt around his waist. He then puts his other foot on the top rope and jumps into the ring. As he lands, he rolls forward ending up in a ‘superhero’ pose, holding both belts as he leans his head back and lets out a primal scream. Ezra then hands both belts to Brian Chartreuse. He then takes off his entrance gear and tosses it over the top rope to the floor.

Vinegar: Watching Wolf hand his two championships over really drives home how big of a deal it would be for either Rydell or Vespertine to beat him tonight.

Lieberjosch: If it would be either one, I’d think it’d be Vespertine. That said, I have to agree with you that it’d be a big deal for both Rydell and Vespertine.

Vinegar: It could turn Vespertine’s career around here, and in her mind, she’s at the bottom of the food chain. Ironically, both Rydell and Vespertine have the same underlying motivation here, pride.

Lieberjosch: We’ll have to see how much that pride overwrites their mutual distaste for the young woman they’re currently sharing the ring with.

Vinegar: That’s true. One also has to wonder how much the relationships that Rydell and Ezra have with each other will factor in.

Lieberjosch: Ezra referring to Rydell as his “Uncle” is a cute nod to him, but ultimately that doesn’t matter. The more important relationship between them in the immediate term is whether or not this will destroy their cohesion as Cooperative Champions.

Covert Jay: You mean Rydell’s not his actual uncle?

Lieberjosch: Moving on. Whether Rydell wins or Ezra retains, it could put an irreparable fracture in their relationship as a team.

Vinegar: It could. We’ll have to see. They both agreed that they’re enemies tonight.

Covert Jay: There’s the bell!

Vinegar: The three circle; sizing each other up.

Covert Jay: Vespertine just slid from the ring!

Vinegar: Rydell and Wolf look at each other and nod, then slide out of opposite sides to try and corner her.

Lieberjosch: She just slid back in. It’s a good strategy. They have to decide if they’re willing to make themselves vulnerable by sliding back in after her.

Vinegar: She could also slide back out again and turn this into an early way to make them tire themselves out by chasing her.

Lieberjosch: That’s true. She’s a smart woman. She came in knowing she had the biggest target on her even not being the champion just because they both detest her.

Vinegar: Rydell and Ezra slide back in. Vespertine immediately stomps on Rydell’s back, then turns and punts Wolf in the ribs. She turns back to Rydell and kicks him as she did Wolf, then turns back to Wolf and drives a second vicious kick into his ribs.

Lieberjosch: She’s starting aggressively, which is a great strategy when one has to assume that she’s the primary target of the Cooperative Champions, who’s definitely going to collude against her.

Vinegar: “Collude”, as if this is politics.

Lieberjosch: It is in a way.

Vinegar: You’re being overly dramatic.

Lieberjosch: Am I?

Covert Jay: Not as overly dramatic as that stomp was!

Vinegar: It wasn’t quite a curb stomp, but it definitely rang Rydell’s bell.

Covert Jay: Is it just me, or is she focusing more on him?

Lieberjosch: Normally I’d call you an idiot, but in this case, as much as I’m loath to agree with you, you appear to be right.

Vinegar: She has been focusing most of her stomps on him over the past couple of minutes.

Lieberjosch: She has to be careful not to focus too much on him. Ezra Wolf is a double champion for a reason, and letting her antipathy toward Rydell override her common sense would be an exceedingly poor plan.

Vinegar: I think it’s a bit early to say that she’s doing that, but I agree with your overall point.

Covert Jay: “Antipathy?” Isn’t that a type of Italian pasta?

Lieberjosch: No, you insanely vapid twit, that’s antipasto.

Vinegar: Vespertine pulls Rydell up and throws him shoulder first into the turnbuckle, then turns and barely avoids a clothesline from Wolf, countering it with a neckbreaker.

Lieberjosch: She showed both good ring awareness and great reflexes. She’ll need to continue doing that if she wants to walk out as a two-time champion.

Vinegar: She springs off of the ropes and kicks Rydell in the side of his head, sending him back to the mat, rolls through, and leaps up to drop Ezra with a leaping double knee face breaker.

Covert Jay: She’s leaping around like a bunny!

Lieberjosch: A bunny? What are you, five?

Vinegar: He runs and whips Rydell’s neck with a rolling necksnap, then turns and lands a leaping double foot stomp into Ezra’s stomach. She drops on top of him and goes for a pin.

Covert Jay: One!




Lieberjosch: Two!!


Vinegar: Rydell breaks it up with a body block that sends her sprawling across the ring. He pulls her up and drops her face first into the turnbuckle, then slams her into the mat with a perfect belly-to-back suplex.

Lieberjosch: Unfortunately for him, she did such an effective job using his head like a football, that he can’t do anything about it.

Vinegar: No gloating about it for her?

Lieberjosch: Not yet, but you know I’ve been enjoying it.

Vinegar: Of course.

Covert Jay: Ole!

Lieberjosch: What?

Covert Jay: The World Cup is happening!

Lieberjosch: What does that have to do with anything?

Covert Jay: You talked about footballs.

Lieberjosch: I meant the American kind.

Covert Jay: You mean “hand egg”?

Lieberjosch: Quiet.

Vinegar: Both of you be quiet, and focus on the task at hand.

Lieberjosch: It’s his fault.

Vinegar: I don’t care whose fault you think it is. Focus. This match is for the Cross-Hemisphere Championship, a championship with a long and proud lineage.

Lieberjosch: It does, and I have nothing but respect for that.

Covert Jay: So do I! So much that it looks like all three are nearly to their feet.

Lieberjosch: Top-notch commentary there, Jay.

Vinegar: Vespertine is perched up on the turnbuckle waiting for her two opponents to get back to their feet.

Lieberjosch: Wolf is back up, and Rydell isn’t far behind.

Vinegar: Vespertine leaps!

Covert Jay: Fly, Ninja, fly!

Vinegar: She flies off, attempting a flying double press!

Covert Jay: She’s gonna take them down!

Lieberjosch: Mistake number one!

Vinegar: It looks like she was adjusted for a flying head scissors on Ezra at the last second.

Lieberjosch: She got it, sort of.

Vinegar: She got the headscissors locked in, but Ezra caught her.

Covert Jay: What’s he doing?

Lieberjosch: It looks like swinging her upward and out towards Rydell.

Vinegar: Virus of Life as Ezra sits out!

Lieberjosch: Impressive. I bet Ezra thought that up.

Covert Jay: But who gets the pin?

Lieberjosch: It looks like Ezra’s going for it!

Vinegar: He rolls her over and drops for the pin!

Covert Jay: ONE!





Lieberjosch: TWO!!





Vinegar: TH...Rydell pushes him off!

Covert Jay: He looks PISSED!

Lieberjosch: He can’t possibly think that the current Cross-Hemisphere Champion would LET himself lose just to make his Coop partner happy? If so, then he’s even more of an idiot than I ever gave him credit for.

Vinegar: You know as well as I do that emotions are high during matches.

Liberjosch: I'm aware, but Rydell is acting like this is some kind of betrayal.

Covert Jay: He's really giving Ezra an earful.

Vinegar: Ezra is almost pleading with him to focus on Vespertine and not take what he did personally.

Lieberjosch: Rydell needs to get a grip.

Covert Jay: It looks like he agrees.

Vinegar: He pats Ezra on the shoulder and points at Vespertine.

Covert Jay: It's the most devastating move in pro wrestling! THE SURPRISE ROLL-UP!!!

Lieberjosch: Their bickering gave her time to recover and she's taking advantage of it!

Vinegar: She rolls Rydell up!

Covert Jay: ONE!




Lieberjosch: TWO!!




Vinegar: Ezra breaks it up! Both Vespertine and Rydell stumble back into the ropes!

Lieberjosch: That's going to cause a problem! Good on the young champion for taking the initiative!

Vinegar: I think that was more reflex than premeditation.

Lieberjosch: Yet it was exactly the right move!

Vinegar: Rydell and Vespertine crash to the floor after the double clothesline from Ezra.

Covert Jay: He's going up top!

Lieberjosch: This is unwise.

Vinegar: He sizes Rydell and Vespertine up as they slowly get to their feet.

Lieberjosch: He appears to be aiming for Vespertine. Fool. Take them both out.

Covert Jay: He doesn't want to hurt his uncle!

Lieberjosch: Rydell isn't really…

Vinegar: Is it really worth it, Hans?

Lieberjosch: No. It's not.

Covert Jay: Fly, my dawg!!

Lieberjosch: "My dawg"?

Covert Jay: I saw it on TV somewhere.

Lieberjosch: Yes, while sitting solo in your dumpy apartment.

Vinegar: Vespertine pulls Rydell in the way!

Lieberjosch: Fantastic play!

Vinegar: Ezra slams into Rydell! Both men are down! Ezra rolls off! Vespertine pulls Rydell up and rolls him back into the ring!

Covert Jay: Ezra looks like a flattened cartoon.

Lieberjosch: Only you would make that comparison.

Vinegar: Vespertine slides and goes for the pin!

Lieberjosch: Great strategy!

Cover Jay: ONE!




Vinegar: TWO!!



Lieberjosch: THR…NO!! DAMN IT!!

Covert Jay: Way to be professionally neutral, Doc.

Vinegar: Rydell got his foot on the rope at the last second, breaking the count!

Covert Jay: Bad ring positioning by Vespertine.

Vinegar: She was rushing to get him into the ring and pin him. Anyone could've made that mistake.

Lieberjosch: She's jaw jacking at Chartreuse. She can't get distracted like this.

Vinegar: She's been bitten by a loss of focus before.

Covert Jay: Ezra's moving on the outside. I think Vespertine forgot all about him.

Vinegar: She turns to point at Rydell while she's arguing with Chartreuse.

Covert Jay: Virus of Life!!!

Lieberjosch: Goddammit!

Vinegar: Rydell rolls over and goes for the pin!

Lieberjosch: ONE!




Covert Jay: TWO!!




Vinegar: THRE...No!!!

Covert Jay: Ezra breaks it up!

Lieberjosch: That was unconventional but quite intelligent!

Vinegar: Instead of breaking up the pin directly, he grabbed Chartreuse and kept him from dropping his arm to count the three!

Covert Jay: I don't remember seeing anyone do that before.

Vinegar: I don't think anyone has!

Lieberjosch: That was a very creative way to stop the count without having to strike his own partner.

Covert Jay: It doesn't look like Rydell appreciates it!

Lieberjosch: He has to keep what little of a mind he has focused on the task, not the little disappointments and frustrations he experiences during it.

Vinegar: The two are arguing, although it looks like Ezra is trying to be the peacemaker again.

Covert Jay: I don't think Rydell is buying it.

Vinegar: I don't either. If he did, they could focus on Vespertine, take her out, and then fight one on one for the prize.

Covert Jay: There can be only one!!

Lieberjosch: You're stupid. Unfortunately, you're also right, as much as I hate admitting it.

Vinegar: I think Rydell is finally agreeing with him.

Covert Jay: They’d better pay attention.

Lieberjosch: They can pretend that they’re a team, but we’ve already seen them almost come to blows. When push comes to shove

Covert Jay: That’s a great Van Halen song!

Lieberjosch: We’re not running an eighties radio station. Be quiet.

Vinegar: Jay’s interruption aside, point taken.

Lieberjosch: Thank you.

Vinegar: Both of them look down at Vespertine at the same time. She looks up just in time to see it and tries to back away, but to no avail. Rydell and Wolf each grab her under an arm and

Covert Jay: Alley OOP!!

Lieberjosch: That’s one way to negate her impact on the proceedings.

Covert Jay: They just yeeted her!

Lieberjosch: That’s not even a word.

Covert Jay: And yet I used it anyway.

Lieberjosch: I don’t know why we continue to pay you.

Vinegar: Vespertine flies up into the air and seems to hang there for a brief second.

Covert Jay: Not enough “hang time” for her.

Lieberjosch: I expect not.

Vinegar: Gravity finally wins and she slams into the mat with a loud “thud”.

Covert Jay: I think she bounced.

Lieberjosch: I think you might be right.

Vinegar: I think that was an ugly way to land.

Lieberjosch: I also think that you’re right.

Vinegar: Thanks. Rydell and Wolf smile and pull Vespertine up. “Fore’n” Object” by Wolf!

Covert Jay: Superkick by Rydell!

Vinegar: “Point Break” from Wolf! Rydell follows it with a jawbreaker over his shoulder, and Wolf follows with “Peace Out”!

Lieberjosch: It must sound like a cathedral at noon inside Vespertine’s head.

Covert Jay: Because of how much she’s getting her bell rung!

Lieberjosch: Sigh. Yes, Jay.

Vinegar: “Rydell Bomb” from Rydell! The two pull Vespertine up and throw her over the top rope to the outside, then turn and face each other!

Lieberjosch: I’ve been waiting all match for these two to kill each other!

Vinegar: I don’t think they’re going to “kill” each other, Hans.

Lieberjosch: I must see the end of a life!

Cover Jay: Yo...decaf. Try it.

Vinegar: Seriously, Hans. That was way over the top.

Lieberjosch: Sorry. I don’t know what came over me.

Vinegar: Hate-inspired bloodlust.

Lieberjosch: I feel so disappointed in myself…

Vinegar: Take a breath. You’ll be fine.

Lieberjosch: Yeah...

Vinegar: Rydell and Ezra lock up, pushing and shoving for control.

Covert Jay: Ezra has the height advantage. Rydell has the experience advantage.

Vinegar: Rydell maneuvers Ezra into a side headlock. Ezra pushes him off, and Rydell bounces off the ropes and comes back at Ezra, who drops to the mat for Rydell to hop over him and runs at the other side. He bounces off and springs toward Ezra…

Covert Jay: Single-leg dropkick!

Vinegar: Ezra staggers Rydell, then kips up and headbutts him.

Covert Jay: That sounded painful.

Vinegar: It did make quite a noise.

Lieberjosch: Nice selection of moves by the young champion.

Vinegar: He follows up with a barrage of palm strikes and a spinning elbow that catches the staggered Rydell in the temple, knocking him back.

Covert Jay: Rydell doesn’t appear to have an answer for him. He seems to be reading from a different book.

Lieberjosch: You assume that he can read.

Vinegar: Knock it off, Hans.

Covert Jay: Ezra just “knocked it off”!

Vinegar: Ezra caught Rydell with an elbow to the chin, then with a flurry of strikes that punctuates with a leaping knee that catches Rydell right in the chin. Rydell begins to stagger back, but Ezra catches him and launches him overhead with a T-Bone suplex.

Covert Jay: That was a painful-looking landing.

Lieberjosch: Getting thrown and dumped onto one’s head doesn’t tend to feel good.

Vinegar: Ezra springs at Rydell!

Covert Jay: Tip of the Spear!

Lieberjosch: Damn!

Covert Jay: He almost speared Ezra out of his gear!

Vinegar: Both men are down!

Covert Jay: Vespertine is still down on the outside.

Vinegar: Both men get to their knees and begin exchanging punches. They slowly work their way back to their feet until they’re trading shots from a vertical base.

Covert Jay: Ole!

Vinegar: Ezra ducks under one and pops back up, throwing one of his own. Rydell ducks under it and springs up at Ezra!

Covert Jay: That was a hell of a clothesline!

Lieberjosch: The young champion finds himself in a world of trouble all of a sudden.

Vinegar: Ezra pulls himself to his feet with the aid of the ropes and turns.

Covert Jay: Just in time to get some sole for dinner!

Lieberjosch: That was almost funny.

Vinegar: Rydell sends him over the top rope and out with a dropkick!

Covert Jay: Nice shot!

Vinegar: Rydell climbs the top rope!

Lieberjosch: This is probably a really stupid move.

Vinegar: He waits as Ezra slowly gets to his feet. He turns around!

Covert Jay: AIRRRRRRR-DELLLL!!!

Lieberjosch: Did you just yell “airedale” on pay-per-view?

Covert Jay: What? No!

Vinegar: He yelled “Air-Dell”.

Lieberjosch: Oh. I was wondering why he was yelling the name of a dog breed.

Vinegar: Are you feeling OK?

Lieberjosch: I think so...

Vinegar: Anyway.

Lieberjosch: Yeah.

Vinegar: Rydell leaps off and drives Ezra into the floor with a top rope tornado DDT!

Covert Jay: It looks like he landed bad.

Lieberjosch: Badly.

Covert Jay: What?

Lieberjosch: He landed “badly”.

Covert Jay: Yeah, he did. That’s what I said.

Lieberjosch: Why do I bother?

Vinegar: Rydell hasn’t moved since connecting with that DDT. It looks like he jarred his back pretty badly.

Lieberjosch: Vespertine is stirring now. If she can take advantage of this, she could walk away as the new champion!

Vinegar: It’s a prime moment for her to strike, Hans. There’s no doubt about that!

Covert Jay: She’s up to her feet and rolled into the ring!

Vinegar: She spots the two down on the floor and rolls out to their side. She walks right over to Rydell, who’s still struggling to move.

Covert Jay: What a vicious kick!

Lieberjosch: I love it! Right across the mouth!

Vinegar: She pulls Rydell up and drags him over to the side of the ring. He takes a weak swing at her, but winces and almost crumples to the floor. She responds with a vicious punch to his lower back, followed by a pair of shoulder thrusts that drive his back into the side of the apron.

Covert Jay: That was some howl of pain that he let out!

Lieberjosch: He gambled, and both won and lost at the same time. That seems fitting to me.

Vinegar: Somehow Vespertine gets Rydell back into the ring and rolls him onto his stomach. She turns and looks at him, then leaps up onto the turnbuckle. He looks down at Ezra, who’s still down at ringside, then taunts Rydell and leaps!

Covert Jay: Six Thirty!!!

Vinegar: Right onto Rydell’s back!

Lieberjosch: An incredibly smart move.

Vinegar: She hooks the leg!

Lieberjosch: ONE!


Covert Jay: TWO!!


Vinegar: THRE...GRAVITY FALLS!!!

Covert Jay: OUTTA NOWHERE!!!

Vinegar: Ezra immediately pops up and throws Vespertine back from the ring! He drags Rydell out to the middle of the ring and runs back to the turnbuckle! He leaps up, looks out over the crowd

Covert Jay: Who give him one hell of a cheer!

Vinegar: He leaps again!!

Covert Jay: A SECOND “GRAVITY FALLS”!!!

Vinegar: He rolls Rydell over and covers! Chartreuse drops for the pin!

Covert Jay: ONE!




Lieberjosch: TWO!!




Vinegar: THREE!!!

Lieberjosch: Vespertine gets there a millisecond too late, right after Chartreuse counts the three!

Vinegar: Ezra’s done it! He retains and remains the Cross-Hemisphere Championship!

Covert Jay: Rydell’s not going to like this!

Lieberjosch: It can’t help but be wondered how this is going to affect their partnership.

Dennis: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOUR WINNER BY PINFALL AND STILL UGWC CROSS-HEMISPHERE CHAMPION...EEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZRAAAAAA WOOOOOOOOOLLFFFFFFF!!!!

Covert Jay: Rydell is NOT going to be happy when he wakes up!

Lieberjosch: Vespertine won’t be dancing for joy either.

Vinegar: “The Bogeyman” JC faces “The Lord of Pain” Donovan Hastings NEXT!!!

[UGWC Staff]

Vinegar: It’s time for a grudge match for the ages!

The house lights go down to only the emergency lights, giving the arena a surreal, sepia look. As the opening licks of "Gone Sovereign" by Stone Sour begin, the remaining lights pulsate in rythmn with each chord. Corey Taylor begins to wail:

No one's laughing now, no one's laughing now
I'm sullen and sated and you can't put a price on me
I won't share this disarray, I won't pull these hands away
I need to be chosen and my God don't pray for me

As Jet Somers parts the curtain and steps out on the ramp. His hood is pulled up, and he surveys the crowd's mixed reaction from under it as the song continues.

So scatter all my ashes when I'm dead
And shatter every legend in my head
If only the committed will survive
Is anybody here still left alive?

There's a tense pause in the music, and Jet lowers his head, crossing his hands in front of him.

This is mine!

As soon as the singer screams those words, Jet lights out at a run down the ramp, explosions on either side shooting toward the rafters in his wake while the song kicks in properly. He slides into the ring under the bottom rope and leaps to his feet.

Lieberjosch: As is always the case, there couldn’t be a marquee, history-making match without Jet Somers inserting himself.

Vinegar: The Lord of Pain requested something special for this event, what’s more special than the Creative Director himself officiating?

Covert Jay: Dog Kennel Match!

Lieberjosch: What. The Hell. Is a Dog Kennel Match?

Covert Jay: The ring is–

Lieberjosch: It was rhetorical.

Come no further, you won't go far
I'm running around in circles once again
If you can't forgive me, I won't take it very hard
But I won't make it easy in the end

Jet takes a turn on each corner post, commanding the attention of the crowd as he holds his arms above his head in a V shape, palms out.

So scatter all my ashes when I'm dead
And shatter every legend in my head
If only the contented will survive
Is anybody here still left alive?

After he's finished at the fourth turnbuckle, Jet returns to the center of the ring, allowing the song to close on on Taylor proclaiming over and over:

This is mine!
Mine!
Mine!
Mine!


–

The lights suddenly drop, and in the silence, Ghost's "Hunter's Moon" to play with its haunting melody. The music builds and lights flash, leading up to the chorus, signaling an arrival.

Though my memories have faded
They come back to haunt me once again
And though my mind is somewhat jaded now
It's time for me to strike again tonight
It's a hunter's moon

Vinegar: By his own admission, JC has struggled to connect with success in UGWC.

Lieberjosch: Probably because he’s holding back on this rage animal he keeps referencing. I want to see The Bogeyman uncaged!

Covert Jay: This isn’t a cage match, Hans.

Lieberjosch: That’s not… nevermind.

Vinegar: Defeating UGWC’s most decorated World Champion will certainly accelerate his career here, no one can deny that.

Lieberjosch: I’m not seeing it. Donovan will find a way.

'The Bogeyman' JC steps out onto the stage, staring out at the audience and wearing a Michael Myers mask over his had, having embraced his new ghoulish persona. He watches the crowd react to him and then begins walking steadily to the ring. He enters the ring and climbs up to the middle rope, before ripping the mask off of his head and staring out at the audience. He then returns to the ring and prepares for his match.

–

Hastings wears a dark cloak to the ring. When he comes out he pauses on the stage and opens his arms to the adoring peasantry. He soaks the moment in and then proceeds to the ring.

Vinegar: It has been an unusually quiet year for Hastings.

Lieberjosch: He’s a benevolent Lord, stepping out of the spotlight for so long to allow the peasants a chance to shine.

Covert Jay: Didn’t he say he intends for this match to steal the show?

Lieberjosch: The Lord only has so much patience.

Vinegar: The crowd is already on their feet, chanting ‘This is Awesome’!

Covert Jay: Those are three juggernauts sharing that ring, Nick. This is an historic moment even before they start pummeling each other!

Lieberjosch: A Horizons Moment for sure.

Vinegar: Hip toss from Hastings!

Lieberjosch: We’re off!

Covert Jay: JC springs up and grabs Hastings for a butterfly suplex!

Vinegar: Hastings uses the ropes to recover, and scoops JC up in a spinebuster when the Bogeyman rushes in.

Covert Jay: Bogeyman? I thought it was Boogeyman.

Lieberjosch: It is.

Vinegar: No, it’s Bogeyman.

Lieberjosch: Boogeyman.

Covertjay: Bogoogyman it is.

Vinegar: Hastings with The Hands of Fate!

Lieberjosch: Yes, goodnight JC!

Vinegar: Too close to the ropes, JC hooks the bottom one!

Lieberjosch: Jet rushes in to break it up, prompting a staredown between himself and Donvan!

Covert Jay: Huge pop from the crowd as they get nose to nose and start jaw-jacking!

Vinegar: JC from behind with Schism!

Lieberjosch: Here’s the first cover of the match!

One!!!





Two!!!





Vinegar: Hastings kicks out, then rolls out of the ring.

Lieberjosch: JC getting back to his feet, and he crosses his arms to wait for Donovan to get back in the ring.

Vinegar: He gestures at Jet when he realizes the ref isn’t counting Donovan out.

Lieberjosch: Jet shrugs!

Vinegar: JC starts to get angry, but Jet gestures for him to ‘go get him.’

Lieberjosch: Wasting no time, JC springboards himself out for a diving shoulder block!

Covert Jay: Miss!!

Vinegar: Donovan grabbed him midair and spiked him into the security rail!

Lieberjosch: Jet is lazily watching the action while leaning on the ropes.

Vinegar: Hastings deciding to test Jet’s boundaries, as he grabs a chair and smacks JC over the back.

Lieberjosch: Oh of course, Jet intervenes when Hastings is the one bending the rules.

Vinegar: He hasn’t counted Hastings out yet?

Lieberjosch: Details.

Vinegar: Hastings drops the chair and backs away, hands in the air and a smirk on his face.

Lieberjosch: He scoops JC up and hucks him into the ring.

Vinegar: Climbs in and drags him up the ropes…

Covert Jay: Inevitability

Vinegar: Donovan with the pin!


ONE!!!




TWO!!!






Vinegar: JC kicks out!!

Covert Jay: You can’t say Somers counting fairly.

Lieberjosch: Looked a little slow to me.

Vinegar: Give me a break.

Lieberjosch: Hastings moving to get back on the offense.

Vinegar: He reaches for him, but gets pulled into a Fujiwara armbar!

LIeberjosch: JC in control now as he yanks Hastings to the center of the ring.

Vinegar: Donovan in trouble now as Jet moves in to watch for a tap.

Lieberjosch: He manages to get leverage to break free!

Vinegar: But JC is ready! He hops up and pulls Hastings into a tiger suplex!

Covert Jay: Solitaire Unraveling!!

Lieberjosch: No!


ONE!!!





TWO!!!







TH-!!! NO!!

Lieberjosch: JC backs off to catch his breath, while Hastings backs up into a corner to recover.

Vinegar: No fast count there.

Lieberjosch: He faceplanted trying to get to the mat fast enough to count.

Vinegar: Ho-ohkay!

Covert Jay: What the hell?

Lieberjosch: JC explodes out of the corner toward Hastings!

Vinegar: Donovan pops up suddenly and hits a quick neckbreaker!

Lieberjosch: Springboard armdrag to JC!

Vinegar: Hastings fully in control now, and he nails a facebreaker DDT!

Covert Jay: Destiny’s Call!!!

Vinegar: Hastings hooks the leg!

ONE!!!





TWO!!!








THRE–NO!!!!!


Covert Jay: JC kicks out!!!

Vinegar: Donovan can’t believe it!

Lieberjosch: I can’t believe it!

Vinegar: Hastings moves in to continue his attack, and he pulls JC up.

Lieberjosch: He’s going for a second one! Here we go!

Vinegar: JC reverses, drops down behind Hastings!

Lieberjosch: He flips him around, whips him into the ropes…

Covert Jay: BIG BOOT OF DEATH!!

Vinegar: EPIPHANY!!

Covert Jay: Covered!


ONE!!!







TWO!!!








THREE!!!!!

Vinegar: He did it! JC has beaten Donovan Hastings!

Dennis: Your winner, JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCc!!!

Lieberjosch: Jet shaking JC’s hand, then going to check on Hastings, what a boy scout…

[UGWC Staff]

Vinegar: Ladies and gentlemen, I hope you’ve caught your breath after all of the events that have taken place on the sixteenth Horizons! Because we’re not done yet here, folks.

Lieberjosch: This next match is the culmination of over two years of hostility, mind games, and violence between Lucy Wylde and Tempest. It all started in late 2020 during the rivalry between Tempest and JC. JC would use Lucy to trick Tempest into believing that JC would be joining the Astro Creeps.

Vinegar: Eventually, JC and Tempest would meet at Horizons that year. And, in one of the most original and brutal fights in our history, JC would burn down the Astro Creeps’ farmhouse… with Tempest in it!

Lieberjosch: Fast forward five months to May 3, 2021, where Lucy defeated Tempest to end his second Chaos Championship reign after his dramatic Towering Inferno defense against Seb. She would successfully defend that championship against Tempest, as well, in a Hard Ten match.

Vinegar: Their next meeting would be at Wrestlestock earlier this year, where Lucy Wylde and Tempest headlined that event as well. Wylde would successfully defend the World Championship during her second championship reign that night in the Sonoran Desert.

Lieberjosch: The next event saw Tempest getting a measure of revenge as he defeated Lucy and three others for his first World title reign. But, he wasn’t the one who eliminated Lucy and he’s taken this rivalry to a personal level.

Covert Jay: Despite what everyone may think of Tempest and the Astro Creeps, his insistence to defeat Lucy one on one and definitively is, in a bizarre way, a heroic trait. Maybe not intelligent, but some may say it’s admirable. I’m not one of them. I believe it’s weak.

Vinegar: …right. Well, nonetheless, the Spider King has found himself on the wrong side of the final result more often than not in this rivalry. Tonight, we’ll find out if he finds redemption… or if he comes up empty once again, as we close the book on this rivalry. Let’s get down to the ring!

The arena goes black. The opening chords of "Undead" by Hollywood Undead blare over the Arena PA system. One by one, spotlights around the arena begin fading in and out, alternating between a bright white and deep purple tones. As the bass line kicks into its highly recognized bone jarring chorus the spotlights sync their flashing with the rhythm. Suddenly the spotlights all turn at once, illuminating the stage in a brilliant flash and a radiating glow. Lucy Wylde steps out from behind the curtain onto center stage just as the crowd begins to cheer and sing along with the song...


UNDEAD!!!!!

UNDEAD!!!!!

UNDEAD!!!!!

UNDEAD!!!!!


Mitchell Dennis: The following match is scheduled for a best two out of three falls! Introducing first, making her way down to the ring… she is a former two-time UGWC World Champion… LUCYYYYYYYY WYYYYYYYYYYLDE!

As the verse begins, Lucy begins walking towards the ring, a big smile on her face as she moves from side to side along the aisle - slapping the hands of the fans as she goes. She gets to ringside and runs up the ring steps, climbing into the ring and ascending the far turnbuckle, raising her arms into the air. She pulls a pair of fingerless leather gloves from her back pocket and puts them on, one by one. Her music begins to fade into the background of the cheers of the fans. Once both gloves are tight, she clenches both fists and jumps down from the turnbuckle, awaiting the opening bell.

Vinegar: If you look up above the ring, you’ll see two sets of cages hovering. The smaller of the two will lower for our first “fall”. The larger cage, you’ll see, is also enclosed at the top. It will be lowered for our third fall, if necessary.

Covert Jay: If necessary. Come on, you know this will go to three falls. They always do!

Vinegar: Well you never know. You’ll also see scaffolding attached to the turnbuckles and hovering somewhat lower than the cages. This is the scaffolding for the Circus Deathmatch and our second fall. Can you guys feel this tension? The air is heavy here in Chicago, as we wait for the entrance of our World Champion.

On cue, the lights slowly darken, until the arena is pitch black. Multi-colored Christmas lights appear in the doorway of the entrance ramp. A wreath, with matching lights, sits in the center. Ten feet in front of the entrance, a Christmas tree begins to rise from the floor. The low sound of a bass guitar can be heard as the Christmas tree ascends. The arena stirs as Tempest appears, climbing in the gigantic tree. He pokes his head out of the tree and peeks out at the arena. When he climbs down, he’s surrounded by Daedalus, Kosnar, and Pisces in front of the tree. All of them are wearing ugly Christmas sweaters. And Tempest’s mask is green and has the features of what looks to be a Grinch-like skull. Daedalus hands him the UGWC World Championship and Tempest yanks it from him greedily, channeling his inner Grinch. He gazes at the belt for a brief moment, and begins walking down the ring just as the Small Town Titans frontman begins singing the first verse.

You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch.
You really are a heel.
You’re as cuddly as a cactus.
And as charming as an eel, Mr. Grinch.
You’re a bad banana with a…

GREASY BLACK PEEEEEEEEL!

The guitars and drums cut in and the lights rapidly flicker Christmas lights throughout the arena as Tempest walks with a purpose down to the ring, glaring at his nemesis. Lucy Wylde returns the glare with one of her own.

Covert Jay: I’ve got goosebumps. This atmosphere is… wow.

Mitchell Dennis: And her opponent… he is the UGWC World Champion… Representing the Astro Creeps… This… Is… TEEEEEEEEEEMPEEEEEEEST!

Just face the music,
You’re a monster, Mr. Grinch
Your heart’s an empty hole
Your brain is full of spiders
You’ve got garlic in your soul, Mr. Grinch…

I WOULDN’T TOUCH YA WITH A THIRTY-NINE AND A HALF FOOT POOOOOLE!

The Astro Creeps follow as Tempest slides into the ring and jumps up on the middle turnbuckle, spreading his arms. He received the boos he’s looking for, but there’s a mixture of cheers in there too. He takes it in before stepping down and back into the ring. He leans out, handing the championship to Daedalus as the music begins to fade and the lights return to normal.

Tempest steps back into the ring and turns his attention to Lucy Wylde. She stands across from him, a smile pulling at the corner of her mouth. Tempest can be seen saying something to the Creeps as the cage lowers around the ring. Once it’s settled, Glenn Burke wraps a chain around the door and padlocks it, putting the key safely in his pocket. On the outside, the Astro Creeps stalk, gazing up at the structure. Burke calls for the bell, and we are under way!

Lieberjosch: This first fall is a cage match. The only way to win is by escaping the cage, whether it’s climbing over the top, or exiting through the door. The Hell in a Cell match is the third fall, if necessary, and there is no escaping that cage. You must win by pinfall or submission. The second fall will take a few minutes to set up, as the ring crew will have to attach the blanket of barbed wire that they call a spider web… fitting, isn’t it? I hate it.

Vinegar: Of course you do. Look at Tempest and Wylde…

The two are stepping into the middle of the ring slowly. It’s obvious they’re exchanging words, but it’s too difficult to tell what they’re saying to each other. They’re finally standing almost nose to nose, and the exchange is getting heated.

Covert Jay: I don’t think we’ll have to worry about a quick escape here. These two are going to savor this.

Finally, Tempest throws the first punch. Lucy blocks it, and she throws a punch of her own that connects, followed by another, and another, backing Tempest into the ropes. She whips him across the ring and he bounces off the opposite set of ropes. On the return, Lucy sidesteps and grabs Tempest by the back of the head, tossing him face first into the steel cage! He stumbles backwards and into a Nightmare Sleeper! Lucy locks it in and wraps her legs around his waist, wrenching the choke hold in deeper.

Covert Jay: On second thought, maybe this will be a quick one.

Tempest throws his arms out in a panic, but this seems to make Lucy lock it in tighter. As his arms start to slow, the Dark Lady does release the hold, and tosses Tempest off of her onto the mat. The Spider King crawls in a daze slowly across the ring. Lucy’s on her feet, and gets a running start, before kicking Tempest so hard into his ribs that he barrel rolls to the apron and against the cage. Lucy follows up, sprinting forward and baseball sliding into him, crushing him between her boots and the cage. She pulls him up to his feet… and to her horror, he’s grinning!

Vinegar: Or not.

Lucy shoves him back down on his back and goes to stomp on his face like he’s a bug, but he has the presence of mind to roll out of the way a split second before her boot would have connected with his nose. She reaches down to grab him by his Grinch-dreads, but he shoves her away. He follows that up with a startlingly quick basement dropkick that knocks Lucy’s legs out from under her and she falls chest first to the canvas. The Spider King grabs her by her hair and lifts her up to her feet in that unorthodox way that he’s become known for. But Lucy shoves him away now. Tempest backpedals, then charges forward and grabs Lucy by her ears, biting the bridge of her nose!

Vinegar: Oh my god, that is disgusting!

Covert Jay: That brings a whole new meaning to the phrase, ‘I got your nose’ doesn’t it?

Lieberjosch: Jesus. I will say this about the Tempest. He’s so unorthodox he’s nearly impossible to plan for. Lucy has done an amazing job in the past in scouting his moves, but every so often he catches her just like he’s done now.

The Omen manages to reach up and shove her fingers into the eye holes of Tempest’s mask, burying a thumb into the corner of his bad eye. He immediately jolts backwards, but Lucy has her thumb hooked… either in his mask, or in his eye socket, it’s difficult to tell. She keeps him close, and pulls him into a single underhook suplex.

Lieberjosch: That was almost a variation of a northern lights suplex there. Not something you typically see from Lucy, but she’s one of the best in improvising in less than ideal situations.

Vinegar: That’s true, Doc. But it looks like the damage has been done by the current World Champ. I spy a river of blood trickling down Lucy Wylde’s nose.

Covert Jay: He bit her pretty good.

Wylde stays on the attack, crawling over and applying a front chokehold. Tempest tries to pull himself out of it, on hands and knees, but Lucy again wrenches the hold, suffocating the King Freak. Lucy climbs to her feet, still keeping the chokehold locked in, and brings Tempest up to his feet with her. She backs into the corner and climbs up to the middle turnbuckle backwards, still with Tempest locked in. Then, she leaps off and hits a tornado DDT! She stands, staring at the door to the outside of the cage.

Vinegar: Lucy eyeing the escape here.

Lieberjosch: But, the Astro Creeps seem to be swarming the door now.

Covert Jay: Not only that, but it seems that Montague Cervantes has decided to show his support…

The Showman is making his way down the entrance ramp, catching Lucy’s attention. She doesn’t hesitate a moment longer, however, and orders Burke to open the door. Daedalus has a sinister grin on his face as Glenn Burke locates the key in his pocket and unlocks the padlock. He removes the chain and opens the door for Lucy and she leans between the ropes. Daedalus climbs the steps to the door, but is met with an open handed slap for his troubles. He stumbles backwards and onto his butt, rubbing his cheek with a sick smile on his face. As if he enjoyed it. Kosnar and Pisces only stand at a distance, watching as Lucy starts to climb out.

Vinegar: Watch it, Lucy!

Behind her, Tempest grabs her by the waistband of her tights, and pulls her back between the ropes. She turns to slap him, as well, but Tempest catches her hand and begins biting the palm of it with animalistic fury. He pulls her back into the ring with him and Burke goes to shut the door, before Montague attempts to step in! Burke forces him out with surprising ease and Montague backpedals with his arms up in the air defensively. Burke wraps the chain around the cage door and closes the padlock, eyeing the Showman suspiciously.

Covert Jay: Come on, ref. He’s just out here to support his friend. Pay attention to the match!

In the ring, Lucy shoves Tempest backwards and he bounces off the ropes, catapulting himself forward and hitting her with a shoulder tackle that sends her backwards, between the ropes and into the cage. On the outside, Montague has climbed the steps to the ring, seemingly to get a closer look. He presses his face against the cage door and hollers something incoherent. Tempest waves him off impatiently and Monty steps backwards from the door, shrugging as Daedalus eyes him in confusion.

Vinegar: It seems that Tempest doesn’t want any distractions here between him and Lucy Wylde. He’s made it a point that he wants it to be just the two of them here, no distractions, no excuses.

Tempest climbs on top of Lucy, mounting her, and begins to reign down a fury of unorthodox punches. He pulls her to her feet and kicks her in the gut, setting her up for the Moseley Driver! But Lucy wiggles out of it and ducks a wild punch, sweeping Tempest’s legs out from under him! She crawls over and grabs him by his dreadlocks again, pulling him to his feet. She whips him into the ropes and he ducks a clothesline on the return! But Lucy is already sprinting in the opposite direction!

Vinegar: Tempest doesn’t realize it!

Lucy ricochets off the ropes and has already leapt into the air for a front dropkick just as Tempest is bouncing off the ropes once more! It connects! And Tempest is knocked backwards with a force that sends him into the cage door! And the door flies open! Tempest rolls backwards down the steps and to the outside of the cage! Glenn Burke and Lucy are both confused at first, but Glenn calls for the bell, declaring Tempest the winner of the first fall!

Winner of the first fall: Tempest

Vinegar: Hey wait just a damn minute! Montague used sleight of hand when he first came down to the ring to take the key from Glenn Burke’s possession! That’s what he was doing when he first came down to the ring! And then when he had his face against the cage door, he was actually unlocking the padlock and removing it from the chain! Those sons of bitches!

Covert Jay: Were you really expecting these guys to play fair, though? If so, you’re as foolish as they come and you deserve to get duped.

Lucy is in the middle of the ring, glaring at Tempest and the Astro Creeps as the cage is being raised from the ring. Tempest gets to his feet and seems as confused as Lucy. He turns his attention to Montague and Daedalus and it seems they’re having a confrontation!

Covert Jay: Oh, wait a minute! I don’t think Tempest was in on this plan!

Lieberjosch: You’re even more of an idiot than we advertise weekly if you believe that, or expect the rest of us to believe it.

Vinegar: I don’t know, Doc. Tempest looks pretty steamed. When was the last time you saw him unhappy that his fellow stablemates were interfering in his match? He’s been pretty damned determined to prove that he’s capable of bettering Lucy. Winning like this kind of takes away from that, you know?

Covert Jay: See?

The cage raises fully, and Tempest is still on the outside of the ring, apparently ranting to his fellow Creeps. They try to plead their case to him, Daedalus and Montague side by side and in Tempest’s face. But, the Spider King points them away. The Astro Creeps take a step back and look amongst each other with confusion.

Vinegar: Is… wait a second… is Tempest kicking the Astro Creeps from ringside?

Covert Jay: I told you! But why the hell is he being honorable! Bad form, Tempest! Montague just helped you and this is how you thank him! He’s the reason you were even able to choose this match! When everyone knows you should have chosen him and made it an All Creep Main Event!

The Astro Creeps glare at Tempest, but it’s obvious the Spider King has made up his mind. So, the Creeps turn and leave the ringside area. Once they’ve left, Tempest turns his attention to Lucy inside the ring. She stands with her hands on her hips, clearly upset at the cheap way in which Tempest just won the match that she had chosen. He holds out his arms apologetically, before climbing back into the ring. Glenn Burke stands between them and orders that they climb the scaffolding. The ring crew is already out and prepared to modify the ring as Tempest and Lucy Wylde climb on opposite turnbuckles, up a short ladder welded to the scaffolding, and finally to the scaffolding itself.

Vinegar: The next fall is a Circus Deathmatch. As you can see, the ring crew is working diligently to attach this… this abhorrent blanket of barbed wire to the top rope on all four sides of the ring.

Covert Jay: It appears that Lucy and Tempest are exchanging words once more. Lucy doesn’t seem to appreciate the fact that Tempest is trying to be honorable here… however despicable and pathetic as that may be. I really thought Tempest was different. I didn’t think he cared what anyone thought.

Vinegar: Perhaps you’re missing the point. Perhaps it’s the way he looks at himself that he’s concerned about here.

Covert Jay: …nah.

Vinegar: God, you’re annoying.

Covert Jay: …nah. And it’s not a blanket of barbed wire, you idiot. It’s a spider web… as in, the Spider King. Get it?

Vinegar: Whatever.

Tempest charges forward suddenly, but Lucy sidesteps on the narrow scaffolding and trips him! Tempest dives head first across it and nearly off the edge! The ring crew stop abruptly and look up at them, then hurriedly finish attaching the barbed wire spider web to the top rope. They scurry out of the way and disappear out of the picture. Glenn Burke calls for the second bell from the floor, his head craned up with the rest of the audience as they watch the next match begin. Lucy marches towards him, but Tempest rolls to his back and kicks her in the shin, slowing her down. He immediately gets to his feet and grabs her by the throat, shoving her against the rail and threatening to throw her backwards off of it. She reaches out in desperation and rakes his eyes! Tempest stumbles backwards, now. But catches Lucy as she charges forward, and uses her momentum to execute a breathtaking overhead belly to belly suplex! She lands on her back on the wood planks with a WHACK and everyone holds their breath as she nears the edge, but doesn’t fall!

Vinegar: My god, how did she not fall off!?

Covert Jay: I don’t know, but Tempest is a rabid dog here.

Tempest roars wildly as he leaps on top of Lucy, digging his nails in her face and trying to peel her skin from her skull. Lucy tries to fight off his bizarre style, but he manages to pull a few chunks of her skin with his dirty nails. She finally manages to shove him off of her and he scoots backwards on his bottom. As she brings a gentle hand up to her cheek where some of her flesh is now missing, she looks at Tempest with resentment. He gazes back at her and smiles behind his mask, raising his blood and skin caked fingers up to and into his mouth, savoring the flavor with his eyes closed. Lucy shrieks and sprints towards him, and right into a Tiptoe-Thru-The-Tulips! The Spider King lands on top of her chest and crouches above her, his good eye locked onto her like a predator eyeing its prey.

Vinegar: God, he’s sick. His antics are…

Covert Jay: Fucking genius is what they are!

Tempest pulls Lucy up by her hair and shoves her against the railing, and hits her with a stiff closed-fist punch. He winds up and hits her with another. She seems a little groggy, and he takes advantage of it and headbutts her squarely on the already injured nose. She falls backwards onto the scaffolding, then rolls over to try to escape his momentum. The Spider King crawls after her, taunting her, and when he catches up to her, he crawls up the back of her body. He straddles her and locks in a Fishboy Sculpture! Blood runs down the bridge of her nose and into her teeth and between Tempest’s fingers as he hooks her cheeks.

Vinegar: Come on, Lucy! You can get out of this!

Covert Jay: She… she can’t hear you, Nick.

Vinegar: Go fuck yourself, Jay.

Tempest releases one fishhook long enough to club Lucy in the side of the head with his free forearm, then hooks his finger in her mouth again. He pulls out his other finger and clubs her on the opposite side, then hooks that finger in her cheek again, leaning back as hard as he can as he tries to rip her jaw apart.

Vinegar: He’s trying to pull her skin off her face!

Covert Jay: Let’s put a smile on that face! …sorry. What I meant was, this reminds me of a scene from Child’s Play 2. Where Chucky’s hand gets torn off his body. That’s just always stuck with me and I could see that happening with Lucy’s mouth right now. I mean we’re just… seconds away, it feels like.

Vinegar: God, you’re sick.

Lieberjosch: I concur.

Lucy reaches out, flailing and trying to find some way, any way to get out of the submission. She’s still dazed from his clubbing blows, but she’s aware enough to find the edge of the scaffold, giving her enough leverage to pull herself away from Tempest’s death grip. He crawls with her, at first, before she pulls herself to nearly falling off the edge and forcing Tempest off of her. She curls into a ball, and wraps her arms around the pole to the rail.

Vinegar: Tempest had that hold locked in for a very long time. It’s a wonder Lucy is still conscious.

Lieberjosch: Lucy Wylde is one of the toughest competitors I’ve ever seen. She’s an absolute no doubter when it comes to hall of fame talk. This moment here is but an example of her drive, her ferocity, and her determination to be the best in this business. Even when she has to partake in ridiculous match stipulations like this one.

Tempest, on his feet, stalks Lucy as he measures her up, then brings a heavy boot down right on her spine! She cries out in pain and Tempest immediately falls to the scaffold so that his face is close to hers.

Tempest: You will never walk away from this the same again. Do you understand me!? You fucking omen! You fucking specter! I cast you out, do you hear me!? You… are… already dead!

He lets out a cry of anguish before backpedaling to give himself momentum. He charges forward as Lucy is crawling up to her feet, knowing she’s too weak to stop him. He knows there is no possible way that she can muster the strength to slow him down. There’s only one result, and he knows it. He grins like the grinch as he rushes her. And he’s right. She doesn’t have the strength to slow him down. The problem is that she knows it, too. She seems to submissively fall backwards on the scaffold as the Spider King is merely steps away. She keeps her knees tucked into her belly as she rolls to her back, and, with very little effort, sticks her feet into Tempest’s stomach. His eyes widen and they share a moment where they’re simply looking into each other’s eyes: Lucy’s eyes, exhausted and fighting the pain… and Tempest’s eyes, dumbfounded and confused… and then Tempest is monkey flipped over the scaffold railing. He flails helplessly in the air as he inevitably falls into his own spider web of barbed wire. A collective “OHHHH!” fills the air as Tempest connects with it and nearly falls all the way through the spider web. He doesn’t cry out. He doesn’t shout in pain. But he does bleed. His back, his shoulders, his neck, his arms, even the back of his head and ears are cut, and in some spots very badly. His mask is torn, shredded nearly off his head. It hangs lazily, caught in the barbed wire beneath him. Glenn Burke calls for the bell as Lucy rolls over, breathing deeply, and stares down at the fallen Spider King.

Winner of the second fall: Lucy Wylde

Vinegar: …I’m… speechless here, guys. I know that our job is to illustrate the action, but that sequence literally took the air out of my lungs and all I could do was watch and hold my breath. I apologize to the UGWC producers and to the fans at home, but I just… I’m speechless.

Covert Jay: I can’t believe it. This was his match. His creation.

The UGWC medical staff race down to the ring to tend to Tempest. Lucy Wylde is getting back to her feet on the scaffold, shakily. Before they can get to the ring, though, Tempest waves them off. He rolls to his side, and the barbed wire cuts new places in his flesh, but he insists the medical staff leave him be. The ring crew begin to make their way down to the ring as well, but Tempest waves them off, too. They stop in their tracks and look amongst themselves in confusion.

Vinegar: Folks, it seems that Tempest wants neither the medical staff nor the ring crew to tend to him or the mess in the ring.

Lieberjosch: So… what is he getting at here? That he wants to continue the final match with that monstrosity attached to the ring ropes?

Vinegar: I think that’s exactly what he wants.

Glenn Burke takes a moment to look to Lucy for approval as she leans against the scaffold railing. She looks around, somewhat in a daze, but not in so much a daze that she doesn’t notice every single fan in the arena chanting her name.

UGWC Fans: LU-CY WY-LDE (Clap clap, clap-clap-clap)

She takes her weight off the railing to straighten up and appreciate their approval, a little off balance as she takes it all in.

Vinegar: I’ve got goosebumps, guys. In this industry, these athletes sometimes don’t get the validation they deserve. The career that Lucy Wylde has led, it seems, is being appreciated right here, right in this moment.

Covert Jay: Would you say that Tempest is appreciating the moment, as well?

Vinegar: Oh, God…

Below, still tangled in the barbed wire, Tempest laughs maniacally as the Lucy Wylde chants fill the arena. He gingerly rolls off the spider web and to the ring apron as the Hell in a Cell begins to lower around the scaffold and the ring itself.

Lieberjosch: How in the hell are they going to pin each other in this mess?

Covert Jay: Martha Stewart would suggest they improvise.

Vinegar: What?

Covert Jay: Goddamn, don’t you guys watch any of the Chucky movies?

The cell lowers all the way and Lucy can literally reach the ceiling of it from where she stands on the scaffold. She does, and fiddles with something, much to the confusion of the fans. Until a hatch opens at the top. The arena erupts as Lucy smirks at them, then pulls herself up and climbs up onto the roof of the cell. She looks down through the hatch at Tempest and waves before giving him a come hither motion with her fingers. Tempest pulls his mask off, showing everyone his true face, scarred and ugly, and a contorted grin spreads into a half smile.

Vinegar: Wait, what’s that?

There’s some commotion on the stage that gets Lucy’s attention. Montague, Kosnar, and Pisces all appear next to the Christmas tree, before Daedalus wheels a person out on a dolly, like Hannibal Lecter. It’s Christine Johnson. She’s in a straight jacket and a muzzle, and she’s tied to the dolly itself. He sets her up and steps around her with a grin.

Vinegar: That son of a bitch!

Covert Jay: Ohhhh it’s brilliant! Tempest was never angry at them at all for interfering! It was planned! He wasn’t banning them from ringside! He was ordering them to get Christine Johnson, Lucy’s mother, and bring her out to ringside! Look at Lucy! She’s stunned! This is great!

Vinegar: These people are the most vile monsters…

Covert Jay: Mr. Grinch!

Vinegar: Shut up.

Montague and Daedalus grin up at Lucy as Lucy watches in horror from the roof of the cell. She takes a step forward, as if she might be able to save her from these Creeps, then thinks better of it. Monty gets Lucy’s attention, pointing behind her with a look of fake concern on his face. Lucy turns. Tempest is up there with her! He’s already sprinting forward and spears Lucy onto the top of the cage with a roar!The two roll across the roof, throwing wild haymakers at each other as neither gain an advantage. They both stand. Lucy sprints forward. Powerslam from Tempest! The integrity of the cage above seems compromised as the cage sags from the impact. Tempest pulls Lucy up by her hair and positions her for a Moseley Driver!

Vinegar: Oh no. Oh no, please don’t do this!

Tempest gazes out at the crowd with no emotion on his face. He lifts Lucy… but Lucy blocks it! And sends him flipping over her with a back body drop! The cage sags some more with the impact and everyone waits with bated breath. Tempest quickly gets to his feet and eats a fist from Lucy. He stumbles backwards. Then comes forward with an open hand slap. The two trade blows, and the exhaustion is evident as they both have to dig deep with each punch, each slap, each move. Tempest finally seems to get the upper hand and charges forward with the intention of spearing Lucy through the top of the cell! But she counters with a snap suplex! The section of cage that Tempest lands gives away, and Tempest falls through the broken roof… No! He reaches out and clutches the ceiling at the last moment, pulling his shoulder out of socket as he swings downward. He somehow keeps hold, and manages to reach up with his other hand, grabbing the ceiling and letting go with his injured arm.

Covert Jay: I can’t believe he didn’t fall!

Vinegar: Not without paying a price! Tempest’s arm looks like it’s just hanging there by a thread. And so is he!

The Spider King gazes up at Lucy as the Omen stands above him, glaring down at him through a crimson mask. On the stage, the Creeps begin to move towards the ring, leaving Christine Johnson where she is! Kosnar and Pisces scale the cage as they approach it. Montague follows distantly behind, side by side with Daedalus.

Vinegar: This isn’t fair. Come on! What happened to dignity! What happened to wanting to beat her one on one!?

Lieberjosch: What’s that cameraman doing!?

Covert Jay: That’s not a cameraman!

Vinegar: It’s Rogan MacLean! Vintage Engine of Chaos tactics!

Rogan loses the camera and sprints around the cell with a steel chair. Pisces is the first to greet him, but endures a violent chair shot for her troubles. Kosnar is next, but Rogan folds the chair and javelin throws it into Kosnar’s throat, sending the big man backwards and out of the picture. He gets to Daedalus and Montague now but neither seem worried. Montague holds up an index finger and wags it disapprovingly, before tossing down an explosion of smoke. When it clears, Montague and Daedalus are gone. Rogan turns and looks up at the top of the cell where Lucy is watching. He points, alarmed. Tempest has managed to climb up to his waist on the cell. Lucy measures him up before running forward. Keep Your Chin Up!

Covert Jay: No! Tempest dodged it!

Vinegar: OH MY GOD!

In desperation, Tempest let go of the cell and, as he fell backwards, he reached with his good arm to use Lucy’s momentum against her, just as she had done to him earlier. He sweeps her leg out from under her and she falls through the opening in the cell’s roof. But so does Tempest. They both fall into the spider net of barbed wire below with a sickening impact.

Everyone: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!

The broken bodies slowly roll out of the net, and for several minutes, there’s no movement from Lucy or Tempest. Very slowly, Tempest rolls over and drapes and arm across Lucy.




ONE!!!





TWO!!!!!





THR-





Vinegar: Lucy gets her shoulder up!

Lieberjosch: Unbelievable!

The crowd is molten as the raised shoulder causes Tempest to limply roll off, but after another minute both slowly stir. Lucy delivers a chop to the chest of Tempest, and he responds with one of his own. Each unleashes a pair of chops in turn, and they slump against each other. Tempest suddenly delivers a kick to the gut, and hooks her arms.

Lieberjosch: Mosley Driver!

Vinegar: She twists out!

Covert Jay: WYLDE LIBERATION!!!

Vinegar: Lucy Wylde stumbles to the corner, she climbs the turnbuckle!

Covert Jay: CALAMITY FROM THE SKIES!!!!!

Vinegar: She hooks the leg!





ONE!!!





TWO!!!!!





THREE!!!!!!!





Mitchell Dennis: Here is your winner and the NEW World Champion, LUUUCCCYYYYY WYYYYYLLLLLLDDDDEEEEEEE!!!!

Covert Jay: She did it!

Vinegar: Lucy Wylde has overcome the AstroCreeps, she's overcome Tempest, and she wins the UGWC World Championship for the third time in her career!

Lieberjosch: And Rogan is right there immediately as the cell is raised, Lucy has tears in her eyes, he helps her up and they embrace in the center of the ring!

Vinegar: What a main event! What a Horizons!

Covert Jay: We'll see you in 2023!

[UGWC Staff]

Credits

Conquest Championship
Dave

Clash of the Engine
Wafer

Chaos Championship
Steve

Cross-Hemisphere Championship
Ad

The Lord vs The Bogeyman
Brandon

World Championship
Cory