Infinity 2024

[UGWC Staff]

Vinegar: Welcome, one and all, to Infinity!

Covert Jay: Huttah!

Vinegar: We are live from the Camp Randall Stadium in Madison, Wisconsin, for an action-packed night that will include the finals of the 2024 Global Challenge Tournament, as Matt Knox takes on Larry Tact.

Lieberjosch: Our main event of the evening is one of the great matches of UGWC that we were once worried we would never see, Alan Wallace against Donovan Hastings, with the World Heavyweight Championship on the line!

Covert Jay: We’re also going to see the return to the ring of a legend, the Blessed One, Travis Roberts!

Vinegar: Six matches in all, three championships on the line, and of course, the Global Challenge Key.

Covert Jay: Let’s get right to the action!

Mitchell Dennis: The following contest is set for one fall! Introducing first, already in the ring, the RAGGGDDDOLLLLLLLL!!!!

Covert Jay: It was very time-conscious of Ragdoll to come out here while we were doing the opening.

Lieberjosch: Well we’ve got a lot to get to tonight, can’t waste any time.

Vinegar: We’ve seen a lot of odd behavior from Ragdoll throughout this tournament.

Lieberjosch: By which you mean she’s literally been little more than a real ragdoll in there.

Vinegar: Yes, but she’s also taken incredible beatings week after week and returning the following week seemingly none the worse for wear.

Feuer Frei by Rammstein plays over the sound system as Konrad comes out through the curtain with his flanged German mace with him, acting erratic with an angry look on his face, rising the flanged German mace in the air, wearing red and black skull face paint on the right side of his face with a red and black suit hoodie over his head he wears with pieces of flame blood designed all over them. He also has a penguin, walrus and a polar bear stitching on the left-hand side of his chest on his gear, stating Stop Climate Change. He also wears black boots along with Red and Black Gloves on his hands before he crouches down on the floor with the flanged German mace in front of him, looking at the ring with evil intentions.

Mitchell Dennis: “From Cologne, Germany, he is Burned In Blood, Konrad Raab!”

After the announcement, Konrad picks up his flanged German mace and slowly walks to the ring with a massive amount of boos before Konrad runs up the steps and goes underneath the ropes. As he's in the ring, Konrad without showing any sign of acknowledgement from the fans, lays the flanged German mace on the turnbuckle, then sits in the corner of the ring with the crowd booing him, having a nasty look in his eyes, flicking his fists as if he's already ready to fight, with ring staff taking Konrad's flanged German mace away, waiting for the match to start as he takes his hoodie off from his head.

Vinegar: It’s been a rough start to the year for Konrad Raab, but he can change it all with a win here tonight at Infinity.

Covert Jay: Everyone in the Global Challenge comes to Infinity with something to fight for, and this match is no different, with the winner earning a title shot of their choice.

DING DING!!!

Vinegar: Raab tackles Ragdoll immediately with a Lou Thesz Press, pounding away on her with right hands!

Lieberjosch: Ragdoll yanked off the mat into rolling German Suplexes, and the second sends her sprawling towards the side of the ring, and she tumbles under the bottom rope to ringside.

Vinegar: Raab headed out to ringside, ignoring the referee, pulling Ragdoll off the ground and into another waistlock.

Lieberjosch: Raab snaps Ragdoll into a release German suplex that hurls her directly into the ringpost!!

Covert Jay: Oh, I don’t like the way her body bent around that post. That didn’t look right at all.

Vinegar: This is very quickly getting uncomfortable to watch.

Lieberjosch: It’s been uncomfortable this entire month.

Vinegar: Raab sends Ragdoll’s limp body back into the ring, the referee wants to check on her, but Raab quickly steps between them, not willing to show any mercy.

Lieberjosch: He picks her up off the mat by the throat, lifts Ragdoll right into the Burninator!

Covert Jay: Burninating everything in his sight!!!

Vinegar: Raab still isn’t done, pulling Ragdoll up off the mat, setting her up!

Lieberjosch: FLAMING DRIVER!!!

Vinegar: And finally, a cover!





ONE!!!





TWO!!!!!





THREE!!!!!!!





Mitchell Dennis: Here is your winner, KONNRAADDDD RAAAAAAABBBBBB!!!!

Lieberjosch: She might have been better off if he just took her head off with the flanged mace.

Vinegar: Konrad Raab victories, means he will have a championship opportunity of some kind, we’ll find out in the weeks ahead how that goes for him.

Covert Jay: Meanwhile our first championship match of the night is up next!

[UGWC Staff]

Dennis: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and also your Cross Hemisphere Championship Title Match of the evening!!!

The arena dims into darkness as Two Steps From Hell's Black Blade starts to play, echoing through the venue. The crowd hushes in anticipation. Suddenly, the entrance ramp is bathed in a dim, regal purple light. Smoke billows, and from the mist emerges Gideon Percival Thornfield, wearing an elaborate, aristocratic robe adorned with intricate patterns. He walks with calculated confidence, every step echoing authority and poise. At his side is his confidant, Oliver Neville, dressed impeccably and carrying a polished cane.

Dennis: Ladies and gentlemen, The Challenger, hailing from the opulent Thornfield Manor, standing at 6'2" and weighing in at 205 pounds... Gideon Percival THHHHHORNEFIELD!

Gideon stops at the top of the ramp, surveying the arena with a disdainful yet composed expression. He slowly removes his robe, revealing his wrestling attire, while Oliver Neville stands by his side, ever watchful. Gideon descends the stairs with purpose, his eyes fixed on the ring. As he enters the ring, Gideon elegantly steps through the ropes, never breaking his gaze from his opponent.

Vinegar: I feel like we couldn’t have asked for a better challenger against Zane Scott.

Lieberjosch: Calculating, educated, he’s made an impression as a professional finely honing his craft.

"Break Those Bones Whose Sinews Gave Them Motion" by Meshuggah starts to play as Zane Scott enters the arena. The fans seem to be more on his side than Gideon's for this contest.

Dennis: And introducing, The Cross Hemisphere Champion, He is "The Professional" Zane SCCCCCCCCCCCOTT!!

Vinegar: The past year has been a bit of a renaissance for Scott, setting up a successful Cross Hemisphere reign that has been unstoppable.

Lieberjosch: Frankly, this steady, focused Zane is kind of uninteresting to me.

Covert Jay: Success is boring, you heard it here first!

Lieberjosch: Shut up, Jay.

Vinegar: Scott stares down Thornfield as he hands over his title to Brian Chartreuse once he gets inside of the ring.

Lieberjosch: The fans murmur amongst themselves as the bell rings to start the match.

DING DING!!

Vinegar: And right off the bat Thornfield goes to lock up with Scott with Scott winning the lock up and judo tossing Thornfield into the mat.

Lieberjosch: Thornfield complains to Chartreuse that Scott pulled his hair, which Chartreuse mildly admonishes Scott for.

Vinegar: Scott motions for Thornfield to try again and they lock up.

Lieberjosch: Again a judo toss to the mat with Thornfield going to the outside to take a slight powder for a moment.

Covert Jay: The fans boo this action as Thornfield ignores them and gets back in the ring.

Vinegar: Scott offers a free headlock to Thornfield, who thanks Scott for the offer and locks Scott up in a headlock.

Lieberjosch: Only to lose the hold once Scott gets his arms behind Thornfields neck...FULL NELSON SLAM INTO THE MAT!

Vinegar: Thornfield grabs h is lower back and Scott hits a running snapmare on Thornfield!

Lieberjosch: He picks up Thornfield and starts doing muay thai knee strikes to his face, getting a count going by fans...

Fans: ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!!! FIIIIVEEEE!!!!

Vinegar: After the fifth one Scott lets go of Thornfield who rolls out of the ring again as Scott makes a motion to his wrist saying he hasn't got the time to waste on this.

Covert Jay: Thornfield gets back into the ring as Chartreuse makes Scott back up.

Lieberjosch: Scott charges forward and hits Thornfield with a clothesline sending him down to the mat.

Vinegar: Scott picks up Thornfield and tosses him into the ropes.

Lieberjosch: Scott looks to go for a back bodydrop, but Thornfield puts the breaks on and drops down onto his back and slaps Scott across the face sending Scott off balance.

Vinegar: Thornfeild gets up and charges at Scott. Bulldog! Quick cover...







One...








Covert Jay: Kickout by Scott!!

Lieberjosch: Thornfield argues with Chartreuse, but only for a moment as Scott gets back up and both men start trading punches!

Vinegar: The punches soon turn into chops with the fans chanting "Woo" whenever Scott his them on Thornfield.

Lieberjosch: Scott goes for a chop and Thornfield ducks it, he reaches behind Scott and hits a neckbreaker!

Vinegar: Thornfield drags Scott to the center of the ring and tries to put on the "Thornfield Trap" on Scott, but Scott gets his foot to the ropes making Chartreuse have to break the hold.

Lieberjosch: Thornfield gets into the official's face as Scott gets up and grabs Thornfield from behind with a release german suplex!

Vinegar: Scott gets up and calls for a "Full Throated" and hits it!

Lieberjosch: After hitting the epic lariat Scott calls for the end of the "In Cold Blood"!!!

Vinegar: Scott picks up Thornfield into the fireman's carry, but Thornfield slides out of it!

Covert Jay: SUPERKICK FROM THORNFIELD!

Lieberjosch: Thornfield sets up Scott for "Percival's Gambit", but Scott slides off of Thornfield's shoulder!

Covert Jay: "CONSPIRACY OF SILENCE"!!!! COVER!!!







ONE...








TWO...








THREE!!!!

DING DING!!!



Dennis: Here is your winner...and STILLLL CROSS HEMISPHERE CHAMPION!!!! ZANE SCOTT!!!

Vinegar: Big defense for the Personification!

Lieberjosch: Don’t count GPT out yet, he looked excellent out there!

Vinegar: We definitely see huge things in store for Thornfield, but we have to move on tonight!

[UGWC Staff]

Covert Jay: Did you know that ninja warriors used to train by wrestling grizzly bears in the frozen tundra of Siberia? It's true!

Vinegar: Uh, thanks for that, Jay. Now, let's get this match underway!

Lieberjosch: This is our next Global Challenge final match, and if I’m not mistaken, the winner of this one gets second pick at the championship they wish to challenge for.

Vinegar: Yes, with one exception being the World Championship, and we’ll find out who challenges for that later tonight.

The lights start to flicker as "Bleed the Freak" by Alice in Chains starts to play…

"Myyyy Cup Runneth Overrrrr...Likkkkeeee Blood from a Stoneeeeeeee..."

As the chorus starts to play, fire goes off in the entranceway as Trent Steel heads down the rampway. Trent is wearing a stylyed black trench coat with barbwire, metal spikes, and chains on it. His eyes are covered by black oakleys with red lenses. HIs face is covered in corpse paint. As he gets to the bottom of the rampway he brings up a grill lighter to his lips and spits out a fireball! Trent gets into the ring and removes the trench coat and his shades. Under the coat we see he's basically wearing black street clothes. He faces the closest ring corner and does a quick "Hail Mary" before he pops his knuckles and awaits his opponent.

Dennis: The following contest is a Global Challenge final! Introducing first, from Pittsburgh, PA, he is the 'Blackwinged Angel', please welcome, TREEEEEENNNNNNNNT STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELE!!!

Lieberjosch: For my money, I’d love to see Trent Steele and Zane Scott clash.

Ezra Wolf makes his way out of the curtain as ‘California Love’ by A Joker’s Rage comes blaring out of the speakers and pauses at the top of the ramp. He heads towards the ring, slapping hands and singing along to his entrance music. He walks up the stairs and hops onto the apron before stepping up onto the middle turnbuckle. He pauses to play the air guitar a bit before stepping on the top rope and jumping into the ring. As he lands, he rolls forward and ends up on one knee in the center of the ring. Ezra throws his arms and head back, letting out a primal scream before tearing off his entrance gear. He hands it to the ring attendant then takes a knee in his corner as he waits for the match to begin.

Dennis: And his opponent, from West Hollywood, CA, he is the "Red-Eyed Warrior", please welcome, EZZZZZZZZZRA WOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLF!!!

Covert Jay: I want to see Ezra challenge The Avenger!

Lieberjosch: Why, for the love of…

Covert Jay: Because Avenger rhymes with ninja!!

Lieberjosch:

Covert Jay:

Vinegar: The bell rings, signaling the start of the match.

Lieberjosch: Trent Steele and Ezra Wolf circle each other in the ring, eyes locked.

Vinegar: And here we go! Trent and Ezra lock up in the center of the ring, both pushing for an early control.

Lieberjosch: Trent with a quick arm drag takedown! He's got the early lead!

Covert Jay: Did you know that the first wrestling match ever recorded in history took place between a ninja and a samurai? It was said to be so intense, it split the earth in two!

Lieberjosch: I heard that Reeves was really interested in finding out about the time the earth split in two, why don’t you go tell him?

Covert Jay: This match couldn’t possibly continue without my commentary!

Vinegar: I'm not sure about that, but what I do know is that Ezra is already back on his feet and he looks fired up!

Lieberjosch: That armdrag didn’t faze him, and Ezra charges at Trent.

Vinegar: But Trent sidesteps and sends him crashing into the turnbuckle.

Lieberjosch: Trent with a running shoulder tackle into the corner!

Covert Jay: Speaking of corners, did you know that in ancient Japan, ninjas used to train by climbing up walls made of rice paper? It built their agility and stealth!

Vinegar: Fascinating, Jay, but we’re not here to learn about ‘history.’ Let's focus on the action in the ring.

Lieberjosch: Ezra is staggering out of the corner, and Trent is sizing him up.

Vinegar: Trent goes for a superkick, but Ezra ducks under it and counters with a lightning-fast palm strike to Trent's jaw.

Lieberjosch: That’s a big reversal by Ezra! He's showing off his striking ability now, driving Trent across the ring!

Covert Jay: Palm strikes were actually developed by ancient ninjas as a way to incapacitate their opponents without making a sound. Stealthy and effective!

Vinegar: Ezra with a release German suplex, and a quick cover!




One!!!






Two!!!








ieberjosch: Kickout by Trent!

Vinegar: Trent explodes to his feet, catching a surprised Wolf with a big evenflow DDT!

Lieberjosch: Trent with a devastating powerbomb! He's going for the pin!







One!!!

Covert Jay: Did you know that ninjas used to train by meditating under waterfalls for hours on end?






Two!!!

Covert Jay: It helped them develop their focus and concentration!







Vinegar: Ezra kicks out at the last possible moment!

Lieberjosch: Trent attempts to lock in X-Treme Termination, but Ezra manages to counter into a Fujiwara armbar!

Vinegar: Incredible reversal by Ezra! He's got Trent in a precarious position now.

Covert Jay: Did you know that ninjas were experts in joint manipulation? They could disable their opponents with a single twist of the wrist!

Vinegar: Trent rolls through and escapes the armbar.

Lieberjosch: Big piledriver to EZ!

Vinegar: He’s going for The Eradication!!

Lieberjosch: Ezra slips free, and shoves That Sonofabitch into the turnbuckles!

Vinegar: Steel spins around, but…

Lieberjosch:: Before he can retaliate, Ezra surprises him with Kill the Noise!

Covert Jay: Ezra with the cover!








One!!











Two!!!












Three!

Dennis: Your winner, EZZZZRRRRRRRAAAAA WOLFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!

Covert Jay: What a victory for Ezra Wolf!

Vinegar: An incredible display of athleticism and skill from both competitors, but tonight, it's Ezra who emerges victorious!!

[UGWC Staff]

Vinegar: It’s already been an exciting night here at Infinity, and we continue with a match that even as recently as a week ago, none of us would have thought was possible!

Mitchell Dennis: The following contest is set for one fall! Introducing first, A BOY NAMED JESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

Vinegar: Jess making his way to the ring, having finished second in his block during the Round Robin portion of the Global Challenge.

Lieberjosch: And after his originally scheduled opponent withdrew from tonight’s match, our new Creative Director was able to arrange for a blessed replacement!

Covert Jay: But before we get to that, it’s important to note that this match is not part of the Global Challenge competition.

Vinegar: That’s right, Jay. A Boy Named Jess has already been awarded the prize that would have been on the line for his match tonight, and whatever happens tonight, win, lose, or draw, he has first pick of challenging any champion in UGWC next month, aside from the World Heavyweight Champion.

Lieberjosch: That opportunity goes to the Global Challenge winner, which later tonight will be either Matt Knox or Larry Tact.

Covert Jay: It was very nearly Jess though, and after missing out on the finals, he’s got a big challenge ahead of him tonight!

Vinegar: It’s been a long time since we’ve heard this in a UGWC arena!

Mitchell Dennis: And his opponent, the Blessed One, TRRRAVVISSSS ROBBBBERRRTTTTSSSS!!!!

Vinegar: It’s been eight years since Travis Roberts had what many people consider the greatest single reign as World Heavyweight Champion in UGWC history.

Lieberjosch: And as great as it was, it’s also something he only accomplished once a long time ago. How can you compare that to a more modern great like Hide Yamazaki who managed to win the World Title twice?

Covert Jay: T-Rob has kept himself busy at the Laconia, but we finally find out tonight if the Headliner can still bring it in the ring.

DING DING!!

Vinegar: Roberts staring across the ring at his opponent with a look of disgust.

Lieberjosch: As we understand it, Roberts was originally told to prepare for the Dark Destroyer tonight, that’s certainly a big difference as far as expectations go.

Covert Jay: Hey it easily could have been John Blade.

Vinegar: Neither of these men facing the opponent they originally expected tonight, both in very much the same boat.

Lieberjosch: Double elbow tie-up, Jess snaps Roberts right into an arm drag, follows up with a second!

Vinegar: Jess connects with a dropkick, and Roberts rolls to the outside!

Lieberjosch: Perhaps some ring rust on the part of Travis Roberts, perhaps that’s not much of a surprise, considering he’s been rotting in a retirement facility for the last few years.

Covert Jay: Have you ever been to the Laconia?

Lieberjosch: I have a reputation to think of.

Covert Jay: You probably should have thought of that a dozen gambling losses ago.

Vinegar: Roberts paces for a moment on the outside, starts to climb back into the ring, but Jess sends him back to the floor with a baseball slide through the ropes.

Lieberjosch: Jess goes to pull T-Rob back up, but Roberts grabs him and runs him back first into the side of the ring!

Vinegar: Roberts sends Jess back into the ring, rolls in behind him, drives Jess to the mat with a full nelson slam, drops on top for the cover!





ONE!!!





TWO!!!!!





Vinegar: Jess kicks out!

Lieberjosch: Roberts attempts to transition into an arm bar, Jess manages to fight him off with his other arm.

Vinegar: Jess rolls to his feet, but Roberts sprints right at him and connects with a shining wizard!

Covert Jay: The Shining Wizard of Oz!

Vinegar: Roberts hooks the leg!





ONE!!!





TWO!!!!!





Lieberjosch: Another kick out from Jess!

Covert Jay: The kick out props Roberts into a seated position, the Blessed One looks a bit taken back, but Jess reaches up and pulls him into a crucifix pin!





ONE!!!





TWO!!!!!





Vinegar: Roberts kicks out!

Lieberjosch: Both men to their feet, Roberts runs at the ropes and uses them for momentum, but runs back right into the Cherry Bomb!

Vinegar: A standing spanish fly from Jess, and he’s got the cover and hooks the leg!





ONE!!!





TWO!!!!!





Vinegar: Roberts kicks out!

Covert Jay: Jess gets to his feet as Roberts rolls onto his chest, this is not looking good for the Headliner!

Lieberjosch: Jess connects with the Shatterpoint Kick!!!

Vinegar: The impact sends Roberts rolling half under the ropes, and Jess has to grab him and drag him back away from them.

Lieberjosch: And now Jess heads to the turnbuckle!

Covert Jay: IDENTITY CRISIS!!!!

Vinegar: Roberts rolls out of the way!!

Lieberjosch: Amazing! It’s a vintage Travis Roberts Lulling an Overgrown Chump into a False Sense of Security maneuver!

Covert Jay: TRLAOCIAFSOS!!!!

Lieberjosch: I’ll admit it, I didn’t think he’d be able to pull that off anymore, after all this time!

Vinegar: Jess staggers back to his feet, Roberts is up, delivers a kick to the gut!

Lieberjosch: Here comes the White-Out!!!

Covert Jay: Jess ninjas him into an inside cradle!





ONE!!!





TWO!!!!!





THREE!!!!!!!





Mitchell Dennis: Here is your winner, A BOY NAMED JESSSSSSSSS!!!!

Vinegar: Incredible!

Lieberjosch: That wasn’t a three!

Vinegar: Roberts can’t believe it either, sitting in shock in the ring, meanwhile this promising young star, A Boy Named Jess, picking up a huge win here tonight at Infinity!

Lieberjosch: I can’t.

Covert Jay: Yeah, you were sucked right back in there at the end.

Lieberjosch: Send this fool back to the Laconia!

Vinegar: We’ve got lots more action coming your way!

Covert Jay: The match for the Cooperative Championship is up next!

[UGWC Staff]

Vinegar: We continue here at Infinity with a match certain to prove interesting, with a Cooperative Champion about to defend against himself!

Lieberjosch: Don’t be ridiculous, Nicholas! It’s clear what is happening here, you’ve got the Cooperative Champions defending against the top ranked team in the division, it’s all very clear cut.

The lights in the arena dip to black in time with the sirens and beat to the opening of Sweatpants (BattleTapes Remix) by Childish Gambino, the lights then beginning to flash, alternating left and right onto the ramp. In time, the letters "S", "E", "B", and then "Empire" flash one at a time on the big screen until the lights stop flashing as the lyrics hit.

"She askin' “Why you say that?!”

The beat drops and the lights flash on the rampway again. As they do, the screen illuminates with "SEB" and then "EMPIRE" flashing on the sceen.

"Rich kid asshole, paint me as a villain"

Sebastian Everett-Bryce flings his arms wide, staring up with his head covered by the hood of his jacket.

Seb looks surprised on the stage as the music interrupts his entrance, but Travis Pierce walks out behind him, putting his arm around Seb and waving to the crowd. Seb yanks away from Pierce and storms down the ramp, with Pierce following behind him and hyping him up to the crowd.

Mitchell Dennis: The following contest, set for one fall, is for the Cooperative Championship! Introducing first, the challengers, THE PIERCING MEDIA EMPIRE!!!!!!

Vinegar: The mind games continue from Travis Pierce, as he enters alongside Sebastian Everett-Bryce for this complicated match.

Lieberjosch: What mind games? The Piercing Media Empire are simply entering together as a cohesive set of challengers, that’s exactly what you want!

Covert Jay: You can’t argue with the past success they’ve had as a team. When they won the Co-Op Titles back in 2021, it was in a TLC Match against both Numinous Fate and the #CoolKids!

The arena goes black. The opening chords of "Undead" by Hollywood Undead blare over the Arena PA system. One by one, spotlights around the arena begin fading in and out, alternating between a bright white and deep purple tones. As the bass line kicks into its highly recognized bone jarring chorus the spotlights sync their flashing with the rhythm. Suddenly the spotlights all turn at once, illuminating the stage in a brilliant flash and a radiating glow. Lucy Wylde steps out from behind the curtain onto center stage just as the crowd begins to cheer and sing along with the song...

UNDEAD!!!!!

UNDEAD!!!!!

UNDEAD!!!!!

UNDEAD!!!!!

As the verse begins, Lucy begins walking towards the ring, a big smile on her face as she moves from side to side along the aisle - slapping the hands of the fans as she goes. She gets to ringside and runs up the ring steps, climbing into the ring and ascending the far turnbuckle, raising her arms into the air. She pulls a pair of fingerless leather gloves from her back pocket and puts them on, one by one. Her music begins to fade into the background of the cheers of the fans, as Seb moves alongside her.

Mitchell Dennis: And their opponents, they are the reigning AND defending Cooperative Champions, THE EMPIRE OF CALAMITY!!!!!!

Vinegar: Certainly a complicated match-up this is about to be, not sure how it’s going to go down.

Covert Jay: Neither is Mitchell Dennis, notice he didn’t bother trying to identify who is on which team.

Lieberjosch: I’m telling you, this is all very simple, and I’m not sure why you’re making so much of it.

DING DING!!!

Vinegar: Lucy Wylde and Sebastian Everett-Bryce conferring in the corner, trying to figure out a strategy of how to deal with this, and it looks as though Seb will be starting the match.

Covert Jay: But before Lucy can step out, Pierce shoots behind her and snaps her into a German Suplex, sending her sprawling across the ring!

Vinegar: Sam Green forcing a protesting Sebastian Everett-Bryce out of the ring, as Pierce slides towards Wylde, slapping on a side headlock to hold her in place.

Lieberjosch: Lucy working her way back to her feet, pushes Pierce off towards the ropes, and she knocks him down with a spinning heel kick on the return.

Vinegar: Seb looks like he wants to tag in, but Wylde waves him off, she’s going to deal with Pierce herself.

Lieberjosch: It’s because she knows in her heart where Seb’s allegiances truly lie.

Covert Jay: I’m sure she does.

Lieberjosch: I’m concerned that we agree.

Covert Jay: I’m sure that we don’t.

Vinegar: Wylde goes to sweep the leg, hopped over by Pierce, but as he lands again she connects with a clothesline that puts him on his back.

Covert Jay: Springboard leg lariat attempted by Lucy, rolled under by Pierce, and she turns around into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker from Pierce!

Vinegar: Pierce stands and backs away, and quickly turns and slaps Seb on the arm! Sam Green points to it, he’s calling that a tag!

Lieberjosch: Of course it’s a tag, a tag by Travis Pierce to his cooperative partner!

Vinegar: I was under the impression that was the Empire of Calamity’s corner.

Lieberjosch: Why? Because Lucy stood near it earlier? Seb’s the only one that’s stood out there, he clearly claimed it for the Piercing Media Empire!

Vinegar: I do suppose he can’t stand in both corners at the same time.

Covert Jay: Yet apparently he can be on two teams at the same time.

Vinegar: Seb tries to tag back out, but Pierce steps off the apron to ringside with a smile on his face.

Covert Jay: Seb looks back at Lucy as she rises, but Lucy nods and motions for him to come face her.

Lieberjosch: We saw an amazing rivalry between these two last year, and now we get to see it reignite again, all thanks to Travis Pierce!

Vinegar: Double elbow tie-up, as Pierce watches with his arms folded at ringside, and Seb pulls Wylde into a side headlock.

Covert Jay: Lucy counters and transitions into a hammerlock, Seb throws back an elbow, but Lucy releases and ducks under it, rushing towards the ropes.

Vinegar: Wylde building momentum, sprinting back towards Seb, she ducks under a clothesline and cartwheels right into-

Covert Jay: METEOR STRIKE!!!!

Vinegar: Wylde soaring over the ropes with the Meteor Strike, crashes right into Pierce and takes him out!

Covert Jay: Right back to her feet, and back into the ring, as Seb is visibly amused!

Vinegar: Wylde sprints at him and connects with a spear!

Covert Jay: Lucy stands and backs off, as Seb rolls out to the apron.

Lieberjosch: Instinctive move by Seb, he and Lucy know each other so well, Seb knows that Keep Your Chin Up could be next, got himself out to the safety of the apron.

Vinegar: Wylde approaching as Seb uses the ropes to pull himself back up, and she makes the tag!

Lieberjosch: Hold on, she can’t do that!

Vinegar: Why not?

Lieberjosch: How could he tag in? He was already in!

Vinegar: Sam Green has signaled, that’s an official tag!

Lieberjosch: This is ridiculous!

Covert Jay: The card says “moops.”

Vinegar: Sebastian Everett-Bryce into the ring, he’s somehow now the legal competitor for both teams, not sure how this is going to work.

Covert Jay: Well he’s in the center of the ring, and now he’s wrapping his arms around his own head.

Vinegar: He’s going to make himself tap out!

Lieberjosch: Well this is just plain silly.

Covert Jay: Pierce slides into the ring behind Seb, he grabs him and plants him with the Breakdown!

Lieberjosch: He saved the match-up!

Covert Jay: Or did he attack his own partner?

Lieberjosch: I’ve honestly lost track.

Vinegar: Pierce looking around, trying to figure out how to handle the situation, and now he grabs Seb and drags him towards the corner opposite where Lucy Wylde stands glaring at him.

Covert Jay: Pierce steps out to the apron, reaches over and tags himself back in!

Vinegar: Pierce into the ring, he comes to the middle and tells Wylde to come face him!

Covert Jay: She just smiles and waves back at him!

Lieberjosch: What is she pointing at now?

Covert Jay: EMPIRE KICK!!!

Vinegar: Pierce turned around right into the Empire Kick!

Covert Jay: Pierce tagged out Piercing Media Empire Seb, but Empire of Calamity Seb is still legal!

Lieberjosch: I have a headache now.

Vinegar: Wylde is on the top rope!

Covert Jay: CALAMITY FROM THE SKIES!!!

Vinegar: She connects on Pierce, and Wylde rolls away as Seb covers!





ONE!!!





TWO!!!!!





THREE!!!!!!!





Mitchell Dennis: Here are your winners, and STILL the Cooperative Champions, Lucy Wylde and Sebastian Everett-Bryce, THE EMPIRE OF CALAMITY!!!!

Vinegar: They did it!

Lieberjosch: Seb betrayed Pierce! This is a travesty!

Covert Jay: Heh.

Lieberjosch: What?

Covert Jay: Travis-ty.

Lieberjosch: Shut up.

Vinegar: We’ll be right back with more action, don’t go anywhere!

[UGWC Staff]

Vinegar: Folks, this is it! The moment we've all been waiting for!

Covert Jay: Larry Tact and Matt Knox battling it out for the chance to become the number one contender for the UGWC World Championship!

Lieberjosch: The current champion Alan Wallace and his challenger Donovan Hastings are watching this match closely, knowing that one of these competitors will be coming for their title next!

Covert Jay: Oh, you can bet they're watching like ninjas in the shadows!

Vinegar: And don’t forget, the winner of this match secures their future, becoming the first Keyholder of 2024 and guaranteeing a match at Keys to the Kingdom!

Dennis: Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the 2024 Global Challenge Final! Please join me in welcoming your first challenger, from Baltimore, MD, he is The Raven, MATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT KNNNNNNNNNOXXXXXXX!!

The houselights cut out, a single Raven cries out soon joined by another, then another until the cries of an entire unkindness fill the house sound system, soon broken by "Hell Broke Luce" by Tom Waits cutting through, the house lights coming up to a dull blue as a single white strobe light pulses in time to the song's percussion. Standing in the middle of that pulsing light, back to the ring, stands Matthew Knox adorned in his ring gear and a sleeveless hoodie. Arms outstretched like a bird in flight he pivots on a heel and begins making his way to the ring, sliding under the bottom rope and picking a corner to charge and leap upon to scream the audience into a frenzy. He takes a lap around the ring, before kneeling in a corner and patiently waiting for the ring bell to sound.

Lieberjosch: Knox has been absolutely on fire since coming to UGWC last year.

Vinegar: If he wins, who do you hope he faces?

Lieberjosch: I’d love to see him bring Molière’s Muse down a few notches.

Covert Jay: Moley who?

Vinegar: He means Alan Wallace, Jay.

"In the Face of Evil" by Magic Sword reverberates over the PA. Row after row, aisle to aisle, those members of the Coalition in attendance rise to their feet throughout the arena and cheer, knowing one of their workhorses is about to appear!

As the second, third, and fourth chords of the theme reverberates, three spotlights shine down, one over another: A green circle, a gold triangle over it, and a crimson line intersecting the other two. On the Tron, his monikers cycle through one after another:

TACTILIZING ONE

GAME CHANGER

SAGE OF THE SQUARED CIRCLE

From there, the beat triggers the house lights to illuminate the figure of Larry Tact, standing on stage, looking down as he hones in for the battle ahead.

Larry whips his head up and trudges to one side of the stage, firing up the fans by throwing his arms in the air at them. He then goes to the other side of the stage and beats his chest before opening his arms to the reaction of the Coalition, who hoot and holler back. "GAME ON!" Larry bellows as his arms point around at the crowd. He then returns to center stage and makes his way down to the ring, pounding fists with some fans at ringside before hanging onto the middle rope and pulling himself up onto the apron.

He turns and faces the stands, opening his arms up and making a ‘T’ shape, puffing his chest out. Wiping his boots on the apron, Tact proceeds into the ring. He climbs a turnbuckle and again holds his arms out. “LET’S GO!!!” he exclaims to another pop before descending and making his final preparations for the match.

Vinegar: Personally, I’d love to see this budding hero spoil the Lord of Pain’s comeback.

Lieberjosch: Oooh… you’re going to regret saying that…

Vinegar: Donovan should be honored to take on Larry Tact. He’s done little more than impress each time he enters the ring.

Covert Jay: There’s a reason he was the 2023 Breakout EP of the year.

Vinegar: He’s been the closest to the World Championship of the two out here tonight. I’m confident he closes the gap tonight.

Lieberjosch: The bell rings, and the match begins with both wrestlers locking up.

Vinegar: Tact and Knox grappling for control here in the early goings.

Lieberjosch: Knox with a snap suplex!

Covert Jay: Like a silent assassin, Knox strikes with deadly efficiency!

Lieberjosch; Tact manages to counter Knox's offense with a short-arm clothesline.

Vinegar: Tact unleashing a swinging neckbreaker, followed by a dragon screw!

Covert Jay: He's got Knox reeling!

Lieberjosch: No he doesn’t, Knox with a pump kick out of nowhere!

Covert Jay: These two are like rival ninjas, locked in mortal combat for the honor of challenging for the World Championship!

Lieberjosch: Knox with an exploder suplex!

Vinegar: Our first pinfall attempt!





One!!!









Two!!!










Covert Jay: Tact with a shoulder up!

Lieberjosch: He shoves Knox off, and Knox stumbles.

Vinegar: Larry grabs him!

Covert Jay: Tact with a running powerslam! He goes for the cover!







One!!!














Two!!!










Lieberjosch: Kickout by Knox! This match is far from over!

Covert Jay: Just when you think you have one of these ninjas pinned down, they slip away like shadows in the night!

Vinegar: Knox with a moonsault suplex!

Lieberjosch: But Tact retaliates with a devastating kickswing DDT!

Covert Jay: Like two martial arts masters, their every move is calculated and precise!

Vinegar: Tact with the Tactful Surrender!

Covert Jay: The Raven is in trouble!

Vinegar: It looks like he’s fading, Tact holding on for dear life!

Lieberjosch: But Knox counters into a spinebuster! What a reversal!

Covert Jay: It's a battle of wits and skill, with the fate of the World Championship hanging somewhere in the balance!

Vinegar: Tact starts to recover, but Knox is on him in a flash!

Lieberjosch: He manages to hit Into the Void!!

Covert Jay: That took the last of what he had! Can he seal the deal?

Lieberjosch: He’s crawling over, he hooks the leg!


One!!!







Two!!!








Three!!!


Dennis: Your winner, the Global Challenge KEYHOLDER, and UGWC World Championship number one contender, MAAAAAAAAAAAATT KNNNNNNNNNNNOX!!!


Suddenly out of the crowd a figure slides into the ring.

Vinegar: It's Trent Steel!

Knox turns and see's him first as Trent brings up a grill lighter to his mouth. Knox can't get out of the way in time as Trent steps forward and breathes a fireball right into Knox's face! Knox falls onto the mat holding his face as Trent turns his attention to Larry Tact and runs forward. Trent rushes forward and dropkicks Tact in the chest sending him backwards into the turnbuckle post. Trent kips up and grabs Tact setting him up for a crucifix powerbomb...INTO THE TURNBUCKLE POST!!

Covert Jay: There's The Eradication we missed out on earlier!!

Trent drags Tact close to the center of the ring and then hops up to the top turnbuckle...DOUBLE STOMP FROM THE TOP ROPE INTO TACT'S BALLS!!!

Fans: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

Vinegar: This is all sour grapes and totally uncalled for.

Lieberjosch: This is OUTSTANDING!

Trent reaches into his trench coat and pulls out a barbwire wrapped chain and slams it into Tact's face! Trent keeps punching and punching as security rushes out to ringside.

Vinegar: Finally!

Trent pulls out a pair of handcuffs and cuffs Tact to the ropes and keeps beating him with the chain wrapped around his fist! Security rushes in as Trent starts beating the hell out of the security team until they've all been scattered out of the ring. Trent gets grabbed from behind by Matt Knox and Knox decks Steel. Steel takes the punch and whips the chain into Knox's face! Steel keeps punching Knox over and over again until blood is all over Knox's face. Steel goes out of the ring and grabs a microphone and gets back into the ring. The crowd booing his actions.

Trent Steel: Boo me? Ahh I've missed that sound...boo me...go ahead because this.

Steel gestures to Larry and Knox. Knox is still trying to get up. Trent drops the microphone and grabs Knox into a "Pittsburgh Nightmare"! DVD INTO THE TURNBUCKLE POST! Steel then slaps on "X-Treme Termination" on Knox while having the microphone close to his mouth on the mat. Knox is howling in pain as Steel keeps the hold locked in.

Trent Steel: You know...I don't know about you, but I am having a blast. However I do have to say that both of you really are quite spent after that match eh? Don't take it to hard Knox...after all...you're always use to coming in last. Boys, I mean this with all sincerity. Quit. Both of you. Before I do some actual damage that won't just be your pride...

Trent lets go of Knox and reaches into his trench coat and pulls out a bottle of liquid. He pours it into his mouth and turns to see Knox trying to get back up...FIREBALL AGAIN TO THE FACE OF KNOX!!! Trent grabs the microphone.

Trent Steel: Next time...I'll actually be mean. Next time it'll be personal instead of just business.

Covert Jay: I'm completely in shock.

Lieberjosch: I'm in rapture.

Trent drops the microphone and security and EMT's rush into the ring to check on the fallen wrestlers.

[UGWC Staff]

Vinegar: It’s time for the World Championship match and...



Vinegar: And I guess we’re getting straight to the entrances.

“The Lord of Pain” Donovan Hastings steps out from the back with his dark cloak swirling behind him. He pauses at the top of the ramp and opens his arm, soaking in the adoration that he’s entitled to from the peasantry. After a couple of minutes, he walks to the ring. Once in he removed his cloak and stood staring intensely at the entrance as he waited for “Vain” to emerge.

Mitchell Dennis: Ladies and gentlemen, introducing first… he’s a SIX-TIME UGWC WORLD CHAMPION, and the ONLY six-time World Champion in UGWC history. He stands in at six feet, two inches tall, and weighs two hundred and thirty-two pounds. Ladies and gentlemen, he is “THE LORD OF PAIN” DONOVAAAAAAN HAAAAASTINNNNNNGS!!!

Lieberjosch: He hasn’t taken his eyes off of the entrance since getting to the ring. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen him look so intense.

Vinegar: This match is incredibly personal for him, especially since both Deimos and “Vain” have almost treated him like a has-been.

Lieberjosch: I don’t think that was Alan Wallace’s intention, but I doubt that Hastings cares one bit what his intentions are. As far as “The Lord of Pain” is concerned, he’s being overlooked tonight. Nobody likes that feeling, especially former six-time World Champions.

Covert Jay: I wonder

Lieberjosch: Don’t wonder. It’s bad for you.

Mitchell Dennis: Introducing the WORLD CHAMPION...



The lights go out, and stay out for a few seconds, before a lone spotlight begins to shine down upon the stage. As the music first starts out, fireworks go off around the area that the spotlight showcases. Up through the flooring of the stage rises 'Vain' Alan Wallace - a buxom blonde standing to his left, and a gorgeous brunette standing to his right. As the lift that they are being raised by comes to a stop, the two women drop to their knees and turn towards him, running their hands down his chest and abs, before giving each other a kiss. Vain tosses the hood of his robe back, revealing that beautiful money maker of his, and then throws his arms up in the air as he begins walking towards the ring, and his two harlots make their way backstage. Upon entering the ring, he spins around in a circle with his arms raised high, basking in the reaction of the people. He then prepares for the task in front of him, as his music begins to fade out.
Dennis: Hailing from Miami, Florida at the palatial Wallace Estate, he stands in today at six feet, four inches tall and weighs a majestic two hundred and thirty pounds. He’s the man of a million nicknames.

Covert Jay: At least.

Lieberjosch: Hush.

Dennis: He’s the man who ended the two-year reign of Sebastian Everett-Bryce to begin his fourth amazing reign as YOUR WORLD CHAMPION. Ladies and gentlemen, he is “VAIN” ALLLLLAANNNNNN WAAAALLLLLAACCCCCE!!!”

Vinegar: There’s the bell! The Referee tonight is our Head Referee, Glenn Burke.

Covert Jay: We have a staredown!

Lieberjosch: A veritable Mexican standoff.

Covert Jay: But we’re not in Mexico.

Lieberjosch: Christ…

Vinegar: Wallace and Hastings are jawing at each other already!

Lieberjosch: With great enthusiasm.

Covert Jay: Traaaaash Ta-aaaaallllllk!

Lieberjosch: Why’d you sing it?

Covert Jay: I like the way it sounds!

Lieberjosch: Moron.

Covert Jay: Hastings has his hands in Wallace’s face!

Lieberjosch: At least it’s not a fist.

Covert Jay: Well it’s obviously not a fist, I can see his fingers! He’s holding up six!

Lieberjosch: Goddammit.

Vinegar: He’s reminding Vain of how many times he’s been World Champion. Hastings’ record of six may never be matched. Even if he hasn’t held it for the most total days, he’s held it the most times and beaten a veritable “Who’s who” of people to retain it!

Lieberjosch: It’s a great mind game. Vain has the longest total amount of time as World Champion, but he’s currently on his fourth reign. While I’m not certain that Vain cares that he’s two reigns short of Hastings’ record, you know he still doesn’t like having Hastings wave his fingers in his face like that.

Vinegar: While reminding him that he can’t display “500” with his fingers.

Covert Jay: Well... he can do the “five.” I’m not sure how he’d do “hundred.”

Lieberjosch: I can think of one way.

Vinegar: You can bet that Wallace has too.

Covert Jay: Hastings is practically pressing his fingers into Vain’s face like that meme.

Lieberjosch: There’s a cultural abomination I wish would die.

Vinegar: Vain swats it away and reminds Hastings that he was the one who ended Sebastian’s legendary run and not Donovan.

Covert Jay: Donovan looks really red. Do you think he’s sick?

Lieberjosch: No. I think he’s pissed off, and you’re a moron.

Covert Jay: He’s pissed off because I’m a moron?

Lieberjosch: He should be.

Vinegar: That’s not going to go over well…

Lieberjosch: It shouldn’t. You know as well as I do that Donovan finds that insult to be particularly galling.

Vinegar: Do you blame him? He’s arguably the greatest World Champion we’ve ever had and absolutely one of the foundations that this company has been built on. Think of the groups he’s been a part of, and the teams he’s been in. It reads like a list of future Hall of Famer members and the most influential people in the history of the company.

Lieberjosch: You don’t have to convince me.

Vinegar: I know, but I’m saying that Deimos all but spit on that when he booked this match, and Vain is twisting the knife.

Covert Jay: Alley-oop!

Lieberjosch: That was unexpected!

Vinegar: Vain crashes into the mat after an arm drag from Hastings. He pops back to his feet.

Liebersjoch: There’s the galling Hastings smirk that’s infuriated so many people.

Vinegar: Vain doesn’t look impressed.

Covert Jay: He’s applauding him! I think he’s impressed!

Lieberjosch: I think you’re an idiot. He’s being sarcastic.

Vinegar: Vain lunges like he’s going to grab Hastings for a tie-up. Hastings tries to avoid it.

Covert Jay: Arm drag from Vain!

Lieberjosch: I see how this is going to go.

Vinegar: Tit for tat. Hastings pops back up to his feet, only for Vain to bow and return the smile!

Covert Jay: I think he said “You’re welcome.”

Lieberjosch: A further taunt.

Vinegar: Hastings shakes his head and the two circle each other, neither committing to a move.

Lieberjosch: They know each other well, dating back to their time in “The Puppet Masters,” as well as admittedly from studying each other over the years.

Covert Jay: Right now they look like they’re dancing.

Lieberjosch: They’re not.

Vinegar: The two men leap forward and lock up. After shoving back and forth briefly, Donovan takes Wallace over.

Covert Jay: Nice throw!

Lieberjosch: Wallace kips back up.

Covert Jay: Nice bow, Lord of Pain!

Lieberjosch: The games continue.

Vinegar: Wallace nods his head and brushes his shoulders off. The two lock up and Wallace whips Hastings toward the ropes. Hastings bounces off and comes streaking back toward Wallace.

Covert Jay: Kinky!

Lieberjosch: Not that kind of “streaking.”

Vinegar: Wallace drops to the mat and Hastings leaps over, bouncing off of the opposite ropes. He shoots back toward Wallace, who leaps up and takes him down with a dropkick. Hastings rolls onto his stomach and grabs Wallace by the leg when he lands, upending him. Wallace falls back first onto the mat and Hastings shoots in.

Covert Jay: Roll up O’Death!

Lieberjosch: I don’t think he calls it that.

Covert Jay: Well he should.

Vinegar: Glenn Burke drops for the count, but "Vain" kicks out at one. Hastings immediately transitions into a grounded rear face lock.

Lieberjosch: Good use of ground control by the "Lord of Pain".

Vinegar: Wallace struggles against it, trying to regain momentum. Hastings pulls back on it, making sure to get a hand across Wallace’s eyes. Burke tells him to move his hand, but Hastings ignores him.

Lieberjosch: He’s very much doing the opposite.

Covert Jay: That’s gotta hurt!

Lieberjosch: You think?

Covert Jay: Yes! That’s why I said it! DUH!

Lieberjosch: You’re impossible!

Covert Jay: Hastings just yelped like a dog and he’s shaking his hand wildly. That’s a weird-looking dance!

Lieberjosch: He’s not “dancing,” idiot. He’s shaking his hand in pain.

Vinegar: Hastings vigorously points at Wallace and insists that…did I hear that right?

Lieberjosch: That depends on what you heard.

Vinegar: He’s claiming that Wallace bit him.

Lieberjosch: Then you heard him correctly.

Covert Jay: Wallace looks disgusted as he flicks something from the ring!

Lieberjosch: I’m sure we’re all better off not knowing.

Vinegar: Glenn asks Wallace if he did anything, but he energetically denies it, holding his hands up in a display of innocence.

Lieberjosch: Hastings is furious, and rightfully so. It looks like Wallace got away with one.

Covert Jay: Got away with what?

Lieberjosch: Why don’t you go ask him?

Covert Jay: No.

Lieberjosch: Why not?

Covert Jay: He’ll hurt me.

Lieberjosch: I can only hope.

Vinegar: Glenn finishes checking on Hastings and frowns. He says something to Wallace, who shrugs indifferently. Hastings goes charging by Glenn, throwing an overhand punch at Wallace. Wallace attempts to block it.

Covert Jay: Superkick!!

Lieberjosch: I saw no such move. That was a blatant eye poke!

Covert Jay: That’s what “The Lord of Pain” calls it, a “Superkick.”

Vinegar: He was lucky that Glenn was too busy trying to get out of his way to see it! Wallace reels, clutching at his face. Glenn stumbles over him and falls to the side as Hastings drives in and punches him square in the throat, then hooks his head and takes him over with a textbook snap suplex. Hastings holds the grip and rolls through it, pulling Wallace back up before driving hiim back into the mat with a modified powerslam!

Covert Jay: Did he just...

Lieberjosch: He did...he has.

Vinegar: “Vanity At Its Finest!”

Lieberjosch: Now THERE’S a taunt!

Vinegar: Vain is locked in his own submission move!

Covert Jay: Hastings just made it personal!

Lieberjosch: It was already personal. Hastings is showing everyone how personal, and reminding them why he’s called “The Lord of Pain.”

Vinegar: Wallace yells in pain and pulls himself toward the rope. Hastings leans back further, placing more pressure on his back, while also making it harder for Wallace to pull himself forward.

Lieberjosch: Hastings knows how to get the most out of every move, even those of his opponents. He’s a master ring general.

Covert Jay: Wallace had better know how to get out of this. I don’t want to see him tap out to his own move this soon.

Lieberjosch: I don’t think that… what do you mean “this soon?” You wouldn’t mind it if he did it ten minutes from now?

Covert Jay: No.

Lieberjosch: That’s preposterous. Why not?

Covert Jay: Because then I’d get an awesome ten-minute match before it.

Vinegar: He’s got you there, Hans.

Lieberjosch: Damn it, Nick. Don’t encourage him.

Vinegar: Are you saying that...

Covert Jay: Vain broke the hold!

Lieberjosch: What?

Covert Jay: Vain broke the hold!

Lieberjosch: What? How?

Covert Jay: He played “contortionist.”

Lieberjosch: What the hell does that mean?

Covert Jay: It means he twisted around somehow and yanked The Lord’s leg out from under him! He went “thud.”

Vinegar: It got Vain free for a second, but Hastings is already back up and drops an elbow into Vain’s back. He pulls Vain back up and throws him into the corner. Vain slams back first into the ring post and bounces off.

Covert Jay: What a swinging neckbreaker by Hastings!

Lieberjosch: He continues to play mind games with Vain by using his own moves to wear him down. This is the side of Lord Hastings that people seem to have forgotten about. He’s both calculating and vicious.

Covert Jay: We’re getting a hell of a reminder. Sheesh.

Vinegar: People tend to lose track of the fact that Donovan Hastings has lasted as long as he has, and achieved as much as he has because he’s one of the most intelligent wrestlers in the history of the business. He can be all things to all people while never losing sight of who he is or what his goals are. There are very few wrestlers as accomplished as he is at it.

Lieberjosch: I couldn’t agree more, Nicholas. He’s one of the most skilled tacticians and manipulators in the history of our industry. It wouldn’t surprise me if Deimos treated this match as a “throwaway” to rile Hastings up and get him “on side” to his mission.

Covert Jay: All it did was piss him off.

Lieberjosch: Vain did his fair share of that, too.

Vinegar: Vain did that just by beating Sebastian for the World Championship and ending his legendary streak.
,
Lieberjosch: That’s true too, considering that Hastings himself could not do it. I would say that if Hastings beats Vain tonight, that, to him, it would also exorcise the ghost of losing to Sebastian when he had the chance to claim the World Championship from him.

Vinegar: That could very well be. Hastings' motivations are often somewhat inscrutable to everyone but him, except for winning and holding the World Championship. It’s not unfair to say that no one takes pride in being the World Champion that Donovan Hastings does.

Lieberjosch: That’s a difficult point to argue, Nicholas.

Vinegar: Hastings continues his assault on Vain, as he has followed up his neckbreaker with multiple suplexes.

Lieberjosch: It’s a smart strategy to weaken Vain’s back, although I doubt he’ll stop there. If he really wants to limit what Vain can do, he needs to go after his legs, which I’m certain that “The Lord of Pain” is aware of.

Vinegar: Without a doubt.

Covert Jay: Yeet!

Lieberjosch: What?

Vinegar: Vain slams hard into the floor after Hastings throws him out of the top rope.

Covert Jay: “The Lord” is climbing!

Lieberjosch: It’s a risk, but if he’s successful, he could end this now!

Vinegar: It would be a huge upset for him to win so dominantly.

Lieberjosch: I admit that I’d be surprised. I’d be just as surprised if Vain beat Donovan quickly.

Covert Jay: Wheeee!

Lieberjosch: “Wheee?” Are you serious?

Vinegar: Hastings leaps, going for a flying elbow drop!

Lieberjosch: He’s looking to put the silver bullet into Vain with one of Vain’s own moves!

Covert Jay: Holy crap!

Vinegar: Good god!

Lieberjosch: That might be the turning point! That was one hell of a counter!

Covert Jay: The ground would’ve worked too!

Vinegar: Hastings lept right into a “Curtain Call!”

Lieberjosch: But did it do just as much damage to Vain as it did to Hastings?!

Vinegar: We’re about to find out!

Covert Jay: Glenn’s counting!

Vinegar: This can’t end on a double count-out!

Lieberjosch: It might end in two stretchers.

Covert Jay: They’re not moving!

Lieberjosch: You wouldn’t either if you dropped four feet into a pair of knees.

Covert Jay: I dunno, that could be a fun Saturday.

Lieberjosch: For the love of God, Jay. That’s not what I meant, and you know it.

Vinegar: Glenn’s up to five and neither man has moved.

Lieberjosch: Neither one has twitched. If this had happened in the ring, Vain would win if he recovered first.

Covert Jay: He’s at seven!

Vinegar: Both men are crawling up to the ring!

Covert Jay: Eight!

Vinegar: Both men pull themselves up using the side of the ring!

Lieberjosch: Nine!

Vinegar: Glenn raises his hands! He’s almost at ten!

Lieberjosch: Both slide in just in time to break the count! Glenn waves off the double countout!

Vinegar: They’re both in, but both of them are now prone on the mat!

Lieberjosch: This starts an entirely new ten count.

Covert Jay: Glenn’s already at three!

Vinegar: They’re both moving, but not a lot.

Lieberjosch: Glenn just got to five.

Covert Jay: “The Lord of Pain” is moving!

Vinegar: So is Vain.

Lieberjosch: Seven. They’d better move with greater alacrity.

Covert Jay: Alacri what? Is that a rash?

Lieberjosch: You’re a rash.

Vinegar: Both men pull themselves to their feet at nine and charge at each other!

Lieberjosch: Hastings goes low for the double-leg takedown!

Vinegar: Vain manages to leap over it!

Covert Jay: Mule!

Lieberjosch: Not exactly, although after the way his head snapped forward from that kick, I expect that Hastings considers that to be a distinction without a difference.

Vinegar: His head snapped forward and he went face-first into the mat.

Lieberjosch: It was far from an ideal landing.

Vinegar: Vain pulls Hastings up and yells in his face!

Covert Jay: That wasn’t very nice!

Lieberjosch: “Second rate” was a bit below the belt.

Vinegar: Vain wraps his arms around Hastings and launches himself backward! He released Hastings at the last second, sending him sailing!

Lieberjosch: Hastings landed on the back of his head. I can’t tell if Vain is trying to concuss him, and even if he’s not, he’s certainly making it easier to turn Hastings lights out later.

Covert Jay: Night night!

Lieberjosch: Not quite. Not yet, anyway.

Vinegar: Hastings lands hard as the back of his head once again bounces off of the canvas! Vain doesn’t give him an opening as he darts over to where his prone opponent lies!

Lieberjosch: My how the proverbial worm has turned.

Covert Jay: I don’t see a worm.

Lieberjosch: I do. It’s even wearing a mask.

Vinegar: Vain presses his advantage, although it’s obvious that he’s feeling the effects of Hastings’ assault on his back.

Lieberjosch: We’ll see later how consequential that ends up being.

Vinegar: Vain pulls Hastings up and drops him into a backbreaker. Instead of letting him go, he yanks Hastings back up by his hair, drawing a warning from Glenn.

Lieberjosch: A warning he clearly doesn’t care about.

Vinegar: Not in the slightest. He knows he can win by DQ.

Lieberjosch: Not that that would solve anything.

Vinegar: Do you think Vain cleanly pinning Hastings would solve anything? Or the other way around?

Lieberjosch: Not at all. At this point both men want to show the entire world that the other one is the lesser man, wrestler, and champion.

Covert Jay: Piledriver!

Lieberjosch: That’s going to make things a lot harder on Hastings.

Vinegar: Vain has him up again!

Lieberjosch: A second piledriver!

Vinegar: Vain whips Hastings into the ropes! Hastings bounces off!

Covert Jay: Goddamn!

Lieberjosch: I don’t know that I could’ve said it better.

Vinegar: Vain turns Hastings inside out with an absolutely vicious lariat!

Covert Jay: Did you see how violently his head snapped back?!

Lieberjosch: I don’t think anyone missed it, let alone Hastings.

Vinegar: Hastings crumples to the mat and Vain leaps on top for the pin!

Lieberjosch: Vain scoops his leg away from the rope!

Covert Jay: ONE!


Lieberjosch: TWO!!


Vinegar: THR…Hastings grabs the bottom rope!

Lieberjosch: A rare ring awareness faux pas by Alan Wallace.

Vinegar: Wallace swears at himself for the mistake and pulls Hastings up. He crouches down and pulls him up by his legs…

Covert Jay: SSSSSnake Eyes!!!

Lieberjosch: Another impact on Hastings’ head. He might have trouble doing his own moves at this point.

Vinegar: Hastings staggers out into the ring and Vain scoops him up into a Vertical Suplex!

Lieberjosch: Smart move.

Covert Jay: Just imagine all of the blood that’s rushing to his head!

Lieberjosch: I rather think that’s the point, Jay.

Vinegar: Vain drops Hastings!

Covert Jay: Ow!

Lieberjosch: I’m not sure if that was an intended counter by Hastings or an accident, but it worked, sort of.

Vinegar: Vain still stuck him with that third piledriver, but the knee to the head he took as he dropped Hastings out of the vertical suplex looks to have stunned him.

Lieberjosch: It definitely did. Now we’ll see if Hastings can capitalize on it.

Covert Jay: His poor head!

Lieberjosch: Once again I find myself agreeing with you. I really hate that feeling.

Vinegar: Hastings gets back to his feet, shaking his head to clear it, and sees his stunned opponent. He charges!

Lieberjosch: Vain doesn’t see him!

Covert Jay: That’ll rearrange your smile a bit!

Vinegar: Hastings connects with the face breaker DDT! He immediately rolls backward to his feet and pulls Wallace up!

Covert Jay: Front facelock!

Lieberjosch: It looks like Destiny has come a calling!

Vinegar: He hoists Vain up!

Covert Jay: BRAINBUSTAHHHHH!!!

Lieberjosch: Would you STOP that?!! It’s loud, obnoxious, and might get us sued!

Vinegar: Hastings drives Vain’s head into the mat with a particularly stiff-looking “Destiny’s Call,” then rolls right into the pin!

Covert Jay: Here’s Glenn with the count!

Lieberjosch: ONE!


Vinegar: TWO!!


Covert Jay: THR...NO!!!

Vinegar: This time it’s the Lord of Pain who forgets where he is in the ring as Vain breaks the count by grabbing the bottom rope!

Lieberjosch: Hastings leaps to his feet, yelling about the count!

Covert Jay: He sways!

Vinegar: Vain rolls out of the ring!

Lieberjosch: I don’t think Hastings has noticed yet!

Vinegar: He’s too busy arguing with Glenn.

Covert Jay: He just pointed at where Vain was. Glenn looks funny.

Vinegar: He looks confused, and Hastings hasn’t caught on yet.

Covert Jay: Does he still look a little unsteady on his feet?

Lieberjosch: He does. He just got dropped onto his head multiple times. It’s bound to make one a little unsteady.

Covert Jay: I think Hastings has noticed that Glenn’s not following for a pretty obvious reason.

Lieberjosch: He certainly has.

Vinegar: Hastings looks around and notices that Vain’s almost got himself to his feet outside the ring. He runs across the ring and leaps into a slide!

Lieberjosch: Vain flies back into the ringside barrier!

Covert Jay: That was an unpleasant thud.

Lieberjosch: Not many “thud”s sound good, Jay.

Vinegar: Hastings slides from the ring, almost going to a knee before recovering.

Lieberjosch: He just put a hand to his head and shook it again.

Vinegar: He recovers and pulls Wallace up by his hair, earning his own warning from Glenn.

Lieberjosch: Which he ALSO ignores.

Vinegar: Hastings pulls back…

Lieberjosch: Shit…

Covert Jay: I see your point about “thud”s, Doc.

Vinegar: Hastings whips Wallace into the ringside railing back first, then grabs him by the head and begins bashing the back of it off of the railing with increasing fury.

Lieberjosch: He looks like he’s almost lost control, but the Lord of Pain knows exactly what he’s doing.

Vinegar: I’m not so sure. That repeated head damage has taken a toll on him.

Covert Jay: Glenn is threatening to disqualify him!

Lieberjosch: That would be a miscarriage of justice!

Vinegar: Glenn finally wedges himself between them and pushes Hastings back, demanding that he go back in the ring or he’ll be sent to the locker room! Hastings is incredulous!

Lieberjosch: He should be! That idiot referee could cost him the match!

Vinegar: He has to check on Vain’s safety.

Lieberjosch: This is only going to make Hastings even fiercer once they’re back in the ring.

Vinegar: Yeah, you’re likely right, but that doesn’t happen if he gets himself disqualified.

Lieberjosch: True.

Covert Jay: He’s back in the ring and pacing. He looks pissed!

Lieberjosch: He had Vain where he wanted him and Glenn Burke got in the way. Of course, he’s pissed!

Vinegar: Vain pushes himself to his feet and pushes past Glenn, making for the ring. Donovan runs forward again and goes for the same sliding kick!

Covert Jay: Vain took it right in the chest! Like two caps! Bang bang!

Lieberjosch: Can we keep the gang references to a minimum, MC Tool.

Vinegar: Vain flies back and hits the barrier with such force that he bounces off and right back at Hastings!

Covert Jay: Check, please!

Lieberjosch: Fuck me running!

Covert Jay: Doc!

Vinegar: Vain drills Hastings with a lariat of his own right as Hastings is almost to his feet!

Covert Jay: Did you hear the sound it made!

Lieberjosch: Everyone in the first ten rows did!

Vinegar: The back of Hastings’ head bounces off of the ring apron with a near-deafening and somewhat sickening thud and he crumples to the floor.

Covert Jay: It’s the hardest part of the ring!
Lieberjosch: Do you have to say that every time someone is impacted off of it?

Covert Jay: Maybe.

Lieberjosch: It’s not like it’s in your contract.

Covert Jay: Maybe it is. You don’t know.

Lieberjosch: I hate you...and it wouldn’t surprise me if it is, sadly.

Vinegar: Both men went down with the lariat, but Vain is back to his feet. He pulls Donovan up, runs at the steps and performs a running bulldog onto them! Hastings slams into them face-first and goes limp. Vain smiles and dusts his hands off.

Covert Jay: That’s a bit scary.

Lieberjosch: It’s become that personal.

Vinegar: He pulls Hastings back up and snap suplexes him into the steps. Hastings slumps to the floor as Vain smiles even wider.

Covert Jay: This is getting ugly.

Lieberjosch: “Getting?”

Vinegar: Vain pulls Hastings up and chucks him back into the ring between the second and third ropes, then slides in after him. He pulls Hastings up, sticks six fingers in his face, and then leaps up!

Covert Jay: “Curtain Call!”

Lieberjosch: He goes right into the cover!

Covert Jay: ONE!


Vinegar: TWO!!


Lieberjosch: THRE...NO!!

Covert Jay: How in the hell did Hastings kick out of that?

Lieberjosch: Weakly.

Vinegar: Vain stands up, grinning sadistically and slaps Hastings hard across the face!

Covert Jay: Where’d THAT come from??!!

Lieberjosch: I suspect it was pure instinct!

Vinegar: Hastings with an STO out of nowhere that plants Vain HARD!

Covert Jay: Spinebuster by Hastings!

Lieberjosch: Powerbomb!

Vinegar: He pulls Vain up and under hooks his arms!

Covert Jay: The disrespect!

Vinegar: Cherry Popper! He rolls Vain over to cover him after his own move! There’s Glenn!

Lieberjosch: ONE!


Vinegar: TWO!!


Covert Jay: THRE...NO!! HOW IN THE HELL??!!

Vinegar: Hastings is going to the top instead of the middle rope as Vain does as he waits for Vain to get back up!

Lieberjosch: He’s not...

Covert Jay: It looks like it!

Vinegar: Wallace is back up, and dazed! Hastings leaps!

Covert Jay: GOD DAMN!!

Lieberjosch: Impressive!

Vinegar: Hastings connects with “The Money Maker”!

Covert Jay: That was a hella hard landing.

Lieberjosch: No one says that anymore.

Vinegar: I don’t think that was a perfect landing for Hastings!

Lieberjosch: He appeared to bang his head on the canvas after the initial impact made them both bounce!

Covert Jay: He’s back to his feet!

Vinegar: He’s back up and crawls over to Vain, dropping an arm across him!

Covert Jay: ONE!


Lieberjosch: TWO!!


Vinegar: THRE…NO!! Vain kicks out!! Hastings is beside himself!

Lieberjosch: This is unbelievable!

Vinegar: Hastings pulls Vain back up!

Covert Jay: Alley-oop!

Lieberjosch: Whoa!

Covert Jay: What a bang!

Vinegar: Somehow Vain reverses Hastings into a “Destiny’s Call” of his own! He drops on top of Hastings!

Lieberjosch: ONE!


Vinegar: TWO!!


Fans: THRE...OHHHHHH!!!!!

Covert Jay: HE KICKED OUT!!! HASTINGS KICKED OUT!! HOLY CRAP ON A POGO STICK!!!

Lieberjosch: What? That doesn’t even make sense!

Vinegar: This time it’s Vain who can’t believe it as he slams both hands off of the canvas and collapses with a loud huff.

Covert Jay: What if Glenn starts a count and counts them out?

Lieberjosch: He won’t. He wants to see a winner as much as we all do. This match has been far too intense and crazy to have it end so blandly.

Vinegar: Vain is back to his feet and he pulls Hastings up.

Covert Jay: Surprise hip toss from Hastings!

Lieberjosch: Vain landed on his feet, but it took him completely by surprise!

Vinegar: Neckbreaker from Hastings, who pulls Vain up after him!

Covert Jay: Is he going for it? It looks like he’s going for it!

Lieberjosch: It certainly appears that way.

Vinegar: Hastings gets Vain up onto the turnbuckle and hoists him up over his shoulders for “Inevitability!”

Covert Jay: Whoa there, Hastings!

Lieberjosch: Is it just me, or does he look a bit…pale?

Vinegar: He does…

Covert Jay: He’s wobbling!

Lieberjosch: He keeps blinking rapidly!

Covert Jay: He’s swaying!

Vinegar: Oh GOD!!!

Lieberjosch: Holy shit!

Covert Jay: They’re dead...they have to be!

Vinegar: Hastings appears to have passed out, or at least completely lost his equilibrium when he had Wallace up for “Inevitability.” They’re fortunate that they both crashed inside the ring!

Lieberjosch: Glenn is checking on both of them as we speak. It looked horrifying!

Covert Jay: It was a hella nasty fall!

Lieberjosch: Would you stop saying that!

Vinegar: Our medical personnel are checking on both competitors right now.

Lieberjosch: Let’s hope that both competitors are OK.

Covert Jay: Does this mean the match is over?

Lieberjosch: That’s ultimately up to the medical team.

Vinegar: I think Vain is already moving. He’s shoving the medical team away and trying to get to his feet.

Lieberjosch: Gingerly. He still looks a bit unsteady on his feet.

Covert Jay: Hastings hasn’t. He might be out cold.

Vinegar: Vain stumbles over to the far corner and leans into it with his head down. The medical team continues to check on Hastings.

Covert Jay: It was a hellacious fall…

Lieberjosch: It was.

Vinegar: I hear applause in the crowd. Hastings appears to be moving.

Covert Jay: He’s shoving the medical team away and darts at Vain.

Vinegar: He staggers! Vain hears him and turns around. Hastings recovers!

Covert Jay: Curtain Call!

Vinegar: Vain pulls Hastings up… “Destiny’s Call!” He drops for the cover!

Covert Jay: ONE!


Vinegar: TWO!!

Lieberjosch: THRE...NO! HOW THE HELL??!!

Vinegar: Hastings kicks out again! Vain leaps up, staring down incredulously at him. He holds three fingers up at Glenn, who insists it was only a two count! Vain yells in anger and drags Hastings over to the corner.

Covert Jay: He’s not...

Lieberjosch: He appears to be...

Vinegar: Vain is up and has Hastings up on his shoulders...

Covert Jay: Look at that beaming smile!

Vinegar: Oh, come on! That’s not necessary!

Lieberjosch: A parting taunt, he hopes.

Vinegar: Vain leaps!

Covert Jay: “Inevitability!”

Lieberjosch: Vain literally collapses on top of Hastings, too exhausted for an actual pin!

Vinegar: Here’s Glenn!

Lieberjosch: ONE!


Covert Jay: TWO!!


Vinegar: THREE!!! Vain does it! He retains after a hellishly violent battle with Donovan Hastings, who more than showed that he’s a threat to anyone he has in his crosshairs!

Mitchell Dennis: Ladies and Gentlemen, your WINNER and STILLLLLLLLLLLLL UGWC WORLD CHAMPION…he is “VAIN” ALANNNNNNNNN WAAAAAALLLLLLACCCCE!!!

Lieberjosch: What a match!

Vinegar: These two showed why they’re the best we have, and while there’s no way to know how long Vain will be World Champion for, I think he just sounded out a loud and clear warning to anyone who steps to him.

Lieberjosch: Indeed, Nicholas. It was a clear statement win here tonight. Although we know who’s challenging “Vain” next, I don’t know that anyone can beat him at the moment. I know this was only one defense and his first, but it was a statement.

Vinegar: We’ll see soon enough! “Vain” Alan Wallace retains, and we’ll see everyone in two weeks! Thanks for joining us!

[UGWC Staff]

Credits

Opener
Steve

Cross-Hemisphere Championship
Trent

Ezra vs Steel
Brandon

ABNJ vs T-Rob
Steve

Cooperative Championship
Steve

Global Challenge Final
Brandon

World Heavyweight Championship
Ad