Post by T-Robosaurus Rex on Mar 29, 2024 18:45:14 GMT -5
Previously on ‘Only Wrestlers in the Building’
We had an interlude that brought nothing to the story.
Previously to that very little had happened.
In the time in between the team became frustrated at the lack of leads
We may have seen more occur, but what you going to do, stips, huh?
We had an interlude that brought nothing to the story.
Previously to that very little had happened.
In the time in between the team became frustrated at the lack of leads
We may have seen more occur, but what you going to do, stips, huh?
We open directly to the outside of the Laconia Apartment building and we see Tiffany Roberts walking towards the entrance when a taxi-cab screeches to a halt beside her she is startled and quickly starts reaching into her purse, when Donovan Hastings jumps out, dusting himself off and generously applying hand sanitizer to any exposed skin.
Donovan: We’ve been looking in the wrong place all the time!
Tiffany: You really need to reconsider how you approach women. Leaping from cars that have screeched to a halt and rubbing your hands together in glee will get you into trouble one day.
Donovan: Where’s Travis?
Tiffany: He’s up in the apartment, he’s really excited about getting a permanent contract with UGWC and being able to get a place away from this nuthouse, so he and Todd are talking…
Donovan: He’s with the Intern?!?
Tiffany: Yes.
Donovan: We have to get to him!
Donovan sprints into the Laconia Lobby knocking into Boss Penguin, sending him spinning across the lobby. Tiffany follows him to see him looking infuriatingly at the elevator.
Boss P: I NEVER BEEN HAPPIER TO SEE DA ELEVATORS OUT OF ACTION.
Donovan dashes to the stairs. He sprints up them two at a time, surprisingly for a non athletic competitor Tiffany keeps up with him all of the way to Travis door which Donovan bursts through and stops dead in his tracks.
Donovon: Oh good god, no! It’s as bad as I expected!
Tiffany bumps into the back of him.
Tiffany: What is?
She peers around his shoulder and sees what he sees.
Travis is standing snapping his fingers in something almost resembling a rhythm, he is wearing a black trilby hat, black sunglasses, a black suit, black tie, and a black suit. He is bobbing his head, and he gives them both a smile.
Travis: Ski-bi da ba dibby du da ba dibby do, Donny nibbidy nabbidy boohoo, Tiffany skibbidy bibbidy skeep.
Donovan looks down at the coffee table and sees a plate of cookies, some half eaten, he reaches down and gives one a sniff.
Donovan: That makes sense.
Tiffany: What about any of this makes sesne?
Travis: Ba-da-ba-da-ba-be bop bop bodda bope, Cookie ba-da ba-da, bop, bop, dope!
Donovan: Trav’ has been clean for over a year now, his tolerance is much lower than before, Todd wouldn’t have known that…but maybe he did.
Tiffany: I’m completely lost, why is he dressed like a Blues Brother, and why is he Scatting?
Travis: Tossity, tissity, pissity, skippiddy, doo bop a boo boo.
Donovan: This is what he gets like when he has too much of his favourite recreational drug.
Tiffany: And what’s all this got to do with Todd?
Donovan: HE’S THE CAKE DESECRATOR!
Tiffany: Wait, what?
Donovan: I was talking to Owen and no-one in the Consortium had any idea Todd was making frequent trips here, to New Jersey,. He said all the dealings could have been done remotely. He’s been coming back to throw us off the trail and cover his tracks! We were looking at the residents, but Todd was here that day wasn’t he? That was the day he offered McWrestleprat his return match!
Tiffany: Maybe he’s been here for another reason, maybe he has a girlfriend, I don’t think there enough evidence to prove it, and what would his motive be?
Donovan: Evidence? You want EVIDENCE!?!?
He motions furiously over to Travis who has wandered into the dining area and is playing a harmonica, badly.
Donovan: He poisoned your Father!
Tiffany: Jesus, Donovan! He doesn’t know!
Donovan: Don’t worry, he’ll be no use to anyone for a day or so at least and certainly won’t remember any of this
Travis: Daddio tibiddy dibbiddy Tiffany ski-bu-di-uh.
Tiffany: Ok, but we don’t know this was intentional.
Donovan: Of course it was, in fact this is probably revenge for that time NBK let a door close in Todd’s face!
Tiffany: Fine, so we need to find him then?
Donovan: You said they were talking contracts, if Travis signed anything Todd will need to fax it back to UGWC.
Tiffany: Fax? Seriously?
Donovan: Ooley is suspicious of anything that can change its font at a whim. Pretty sure there’s a Fax Machine in Wrestley’s office. On we go!
Donovan turns and runs out of the door, Tiffany follows and after a moment Travis shrugs his shoulders and joins pursuit.
-
Donovan crashes through the door to Wrestley McWrestleface’s office and Todd is indeed stood over the fax machine, while Wrestley is sat behind his desk.
Donovan: I knew it! Stop right there you fiend!
Todd looks around wide eyed and points at himself.
Donovan: Yes, you! Don’t act innocent you filthy animal!
Wrestley stands up.
Wrestley: Don’t you dare do this, Donovan. Not now of all times!
Tiffany and Travis catch up with Donovan and enter the room. Travis is once again playing a harmonica. The Lord of Pain looks over at them and nods his head towards Todd.
Donovan: See! Caught red handed!
Wrestley: Get out! You are jeopardising everything! I won’t let your crazy antics ruin everything we are working for! If you stop that contract benign sent, and Travis doesn’t face the other Travis, you will ruin us, this match is too important…
Travis steps forward into the middle of the room.
[Travis: So it has come to this, has it? A match against Travis Pierce is deemed important.
‘The Headliner’ has always relished being a trailblazer, an innovator, but never did I think I’d be the first person in god knows how long to have a match with Pierce that was critical to their careers.
But here we are, aren’t we?
Because this is important, it’s the first time the two of us have stood opposite to one another and gone one on one in our careers.
Once upon a time this would have been a highlighted match, finally an opportunity to prove once and for all who the TRUE Alpha Travis of UGWC really is.
But that’s not why this match is important, because everybody already knows who the Alpha is.
It’s Pierce.
He may be bland, he may be predictable, he may be downright insufferable, but when anyone says the name Travis in UGWC they think of Pierce. He’s consistently put in the time, energy and appearances to ensure he is THE Travis of this company.
The reason it is important is exactly why Pierce has, for the first time in over a decade, made a concerted effort to face me, it’s because Travis Roberts has shown himself to be a shadow of the man he once was, and equally Pierce is a directionless dinghy in a sea of oil tankers desperately in need of something to set him back on a safe course that doesn’t end with him sinking to the depths of the ocean.
We both NEED to win this, the loser of this match will find themselves in the mire, scrapping with Ferrari’s and Raab’s for opportunities, rather than the Wyldes and Knox’s.
It is also of vital importance that whoever wins this match takes the momentum from it to propel themselves back into prominence, back into the spotlight, and back to the top of the card.
Because in my absence, and his ever present attendance, the name Travis has become a joke in UGWC.]
Well that’s what he wanted to say, but it came out Skeebidy Beeby Deeby, Doobidy, RuBiddy, Alpharepiidy tittliy bittily, skiddly Pierce, wiggiddidy boop diddy bee skaaa...you get the point.
Everyone in the office is staring at him and when he finishes McWrestleface speaks.
Wrestley: What’s wrong with him?
Donovan thrusts an accusing finger at Todd.
Donovan: HE poisoned him!
Wrestley: Now why on earth would he do that!
Donovan: To cover up that fact he killed the cake!
Todd opens his mouth to speak but is interrupted.
Ahem.
UGWC Creative Director Phrixus Deimos steps out from behind a filing cabinet, scaring the life out of Wrestley, and getting a deep eye roll from Donovan.
Wrestley: I really have to get those racoon holes filled in.
Deimos: Todd had no idea that the cookies were laced with THC.
Donovan: So this was all you! What do you have about the Killer.
Deimos sighs and shakes his head.
Deimos: The Cake was never the target, it was an unexpected casualty. Do you recall that Forewell has been searching for a missing barista?
Donovan: I can’t say I pay enough attention to him to recall what he even sounds like.
Deimos: Regardless, we have her working in a Top Secret location producing a decaffeinated coffee that Robert Ooley will drink. Since implementing this scheme productivity in the UGWC offices have increased due to a reduction in violent outbursts. Todd had entered the apartment to find out what information Forewell had. Fortunately he knocked over the cake and we stand here today.
Donovan: Fortunately? NBK was a wreck, you call that fortunate?
Deimos: Not for The Killer, no, but for the Office of the Creative Director it was a stroke of luck. The dominoes fell just as I had expected them to. You and Travis reunited, the usual stupidity followed, and we came to the ‘inevitable’ conclusion
Donovan: Travis signing a contract? You came up with an elaborate plan when you could have just asked?
Fear smiles.
Deimos: If you want something from Travis Roberts you do not ask, you manipulate him, you of all people should know that. Besides, Travis would never have agreed to the terms otherwise.
For the first time Tiffany steps forward and narrows her eyes.
Tiffany: What terms?
Deimos: Simply put, the contract is not with UGWC and Travis Roberts, it is with UGWC and The Residents of the Laconia Apartment Buildings. Your ‘Uncle’ can rebuild his career in UGWC, but only for as long as he continues to reside here in The Laconia.
Tiffany: That will never hold up in court, you drugged him.
Deimos: Did we? We can prove that he has managed to be victorious in the ring with the same amount of toxins in his system as he has now, he has even won Championships in this state, I believe any court will agree this is not an abnormal condition for Travis Roberts to be in.
Tiffany: This is machiavellian! Why would you do this?
Deimos: It amuses me. I am not totally without mercy though, if these terms are not to Travis’ liking by the time Alchemy comes around, he can choose not to compete, however he will never be allowed to set foot in a UGWC ring. Or any other, for that matter, the contract includes a 20 year non-compete clause, so he will be free to continue his quest to make his ‘nephews’ look at him in awe in his late sixties.
Tiffany: So he either has to abide by these terms, or his career is over?
Deimos: I prefer to see it as his chance to climb back to the heights he once knew, or fade into irrelevance. He will receive the last chance he desperately needs, and UGWC will finally hold the kind of leverage over him that it has so often needed in the past.
Tiffany turns to Donovan.
Tiffany: Are you just going to stand there? Do something?
Donovan shrugs.
Donovan: Nothing I can do.
Tiffany: Can’t you expose this all to that Ooley guy, surely he wouldn’t be happy?
Donovan: Why would I do that? Screwing with Ooley is soemthing I approve of, no matter if I hate the person doing it.
Tiffany: But what about Travis?
Donovan: I’m here to solve a crime, Travis’ business dealings have nothing to do with me.
Tiffany turns around but before she can speak, she sees Deimos has gone. She looks around in shock and confusion
Wrestley: He does that. A lot.
Travis is now sat in the corner stroking a rubber plant.
Tiffany: This is insanity!
Donovan: Well my work is done. Welcome to UGWC kid, it’ll only get weirder from here on in.
Donovan leaves the room as Tiffany shakes her head in disbelief and despair as the scene ends.
