Sentinel 05/07/09 Results

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

The show opens, not the an arena full of screaming fans, not to the dulcet sounds of Nicholas Vinegar, nor the exaggerations of Daniel Hanson, instead we open looking directly out of the backstage door as a figure comes nearer. A large man, with a determined stride coming towards the camera through the darkness.

The light soon catches the man’s face and is none other than one of the three Number 1 Contenders for the Unified Global Championship, ‘Diamond’ jack Severino. His face is a mixture of determination and displeasure, obviously somewhat perturbed at being left off the card merely a week before his first Unified Global Championship shot.

As he gets just a few feet from the doors, a figure springs out from behind him, literally out of nowhere, and suddenly DJS has crumpled to his knees, and standing behind him, cape fluttering in the wind, is none other than the ‘Lord’ Chief of Global Impact Wrestling, Donovan Hastings, complete with replica Goblin Championship strapped around his waist, gripping a Tire iron above his head, like a trophy. In one swift movement the self-proclaimed Co-Undisputed Unified Global Champion brings the Iron crashing down into the back of ‘Diamond’ Jacks skull once more, sending the New Zealander face first into the asphalt.

Standing over the unconscious Jack, Donovan reaches down and locks in The Hands of Fate, despite the fact ‘Diamond’ Jack simply cannot respond and has no-way of defending himself, as the blood runs down his unresponsive face, and Hastings exerts even more pressure on the arms and neck of the ‘Diamond in the Rough’. He seems to be bending Jack Severino in a direction no man was ever meant to twist before a flurry of officials including Hazel East and Glenn burke comes charging out of the backstage area, and pull Donovan off of DJS.

When ‘The Lord’ finally relents on his attack, ‘Diamond’ Jacks body slumps back to the concrete below, and his face lies in a pool of his blood, as the officials quickly put him in the recovery position and begin checking his vital signs whilst awaiting the paramedics. Donovan hastings merely rises to his feet, dusts off the shoulders of his cape, before dramatically walking back indoors, whilst stating at the top of his voice.

Hastings: It was Inevitable.

The scene now cuts into the arena, where the crowd are hushed into a stunned silence by what they have just seen on the GlobaTron, many begin to boo, as we are greeted by Daniel Hanson, and Nicholas Vinegar.

Vinegar: Ladies and Gentlemen...I don’t know what to say, apart from we here at GIW humbly apologise if the scenes just shown offended anyone...

Hanson: PLEASE DON’T TAKE US OFF THE AIR AGAIN!’[/b]

Vinegar: I thought we agreed not to seem too desperate if something like this happened.

Hanson: Seriously, I’d do anything to stay on air.

Vinegar: That may be incredibly useful information to have...but let’s move onto tonight’s show, and be assured we will inform you all of Jack Severino’s condition the moment we hear anything, he is being taken to a local hospital as we speak...

Hanson: In some ways he’s lucky, he doesn’t have to see Randy Boolzian and Moss Edwards embarrass themselves in front of Blessed Immortality in the main event tonight. Can you believe some people consider Dross and FoolZ to be the future of this company...

Vinegar: I happen to share that view, and tonight’s main event should be a great final match before Toxic Intent, we’ve also got Mickey Dragon, Serapis and Alex ksieragi in a triple threat match, the stipulation for the GIW.com Championship Match at Toxic Intent will be decided in a one on one match between the Champion, William Everknight, and the man he defeated for that belt, Michael Cappeli...

Hanson: Not to mention we get to see the in ring debut of KvK, some dude who’s been loitering around the backstage area for months now, alongside Raenius, against JK and the the returned hero Brandon Brown. KvK could become my favourite wrestler of all time if he manages to do to Brandon what Hastings just did to DJS...

Vinegar: And Brandon’s Arch-Nemesis Declan Prescott will be facing yet another member of the Covenant, one half of the Tag team Champion, Dirge. But before any of that, we’ve got the opening match to get through...

“Cyanide Sweet Tooth” by Shinedown plays as Chassie Fear struts down to the ring with a very disgruntled look on her face.

Hanson: I am almost torn apart at the idea that my main man, Mitch, who is undefeated, has to face the devious Chassie Fear.

Vinegar: I guess it was going to happen eventually that he was pulled into the mix between Nikko and Chassie after these last couple weeks of Chassie ruining Nikko’s spotlight.

Hanson: What horrible person would honestly follow up Nikko looking bad one week only to make him look bad the next week and then try and pull Mitch into it?

Vinegar: Odd since you seems to enjoy that one being other decisions most of the other times.

Hanson: Edit that.

“Llevan’s Polka” by Loituma plays to the confused crowd whose answers are quickly answered when Mitch appears from behind the curtain with Nikko by his side.

Hanson: I guess today is the day I turn my back on Mitch seeing as he is now communicating with the unofficial failure that is Nikko.

Vinegar: We’ve only seen two moves from Nikko in his first two matches here in GIW so it makes me mostly excited to know that him and Chassie Fear will be taking each other on this upcoming Sunday at Toxic Intent.

Hanson: I fail to see why the rest of the Covenant does not come out to teach Nikko a lesson about not sitting back and accepting failure like the rest of GIW does most of the time. It just doesn’t make sense at the moment.

Vinegar: The rest of Covenant will be busy tonight as Mickey Dragon is in a triple threat match with Kiseragi and then the remaining two are in tag team action against Brandon Brown and JK.

Hanson: BRANDON FUCKING BROWN!

Vinegar: That’s right, Hanson, still marking out for Brandon’s return even a week after it has happened and you still cannot help but hold the caps lock button. Mitch sliding into the ring as Chassie fails to take her glare off Nikko.

Hanson: I personally believe my main man, Mitch, does not get the attention he deserves from the world we live in.

Vinegar: He has a match tonight doesn’t he?

Hanson: I never said he needed more screen time because the more matches he has then the more chances he has of losing and I personally believe him to be a suicide risk because of all the things I heard about him.

Vinegar: Whatever it is you heard doesn’t matter because today will be his time to shine as he takes on Chassie Fear.

DING!

Hanson: Might be sad but I believe Hazel East is beautiful. Shit, can we not mention the referees by name anymore on television?

Vinegar: Stop reading all the reports from the WWE, man. Mitch charges at Chassie but only to be tossed into the corner and beaten on by that vicious right hand of Chassie.

Hanson: Look at Mitch try and block those hands but only look like one of those guys who is trying to join a gang by being jumped.

Vinegar: I will agree in saying that Chassie’s hands are moving so quick that Mitch looks like he is being attacked by numerous people. Hazel pulling Chassie back but not before Chassie charges with a foot to the chest of Mitch.

Hanson: OH DAMN SON!

Vinegar: Wow…Mitch has just slapped Chassie right across the face as Hazel tried to pull Chassie back from the corner. I do not believe Chassie was too happy about all that because she has JUST GRABBED MITCH BY THE HAIR AND TOSSED HIM OVER THE ROPES!

Hanson: Wow….she just used one hand to toss him over the top ropes and I don’t think she even had to strain to do that. Look at Nikko hide is face in embarrassment.

Vinegar: It’s just your point of view, Dan. It just looks like he is hiding behind the corner bar because you are on the right side of the bar and he is on the left. None the less Chassie beating Mitch’s head on top of the steel steps and I am pretty sure this is going to be one of those matches that should have ended a long time ago and with a lot less blood.

Hanson: The only thing I enjoy seeing right now is that it is a prelude to just what is going to happen at Toxic Intent when Chassie faces Nikko one on one.

Vinegar: I was wondering if Mitch would be in Nikko’s corner next Sunday but after this match I really do doubt that he will be able to walk until Battlegrounds at least. Chassie with an Irish Whip into the canvas followed with a side kick to the head of Mitch.

Hanson: Look she just lifts him up with one arm and slides him back in the ring! This kid would probably be too light for a cruiserweight division.

Vinegar: Chassie climbing to the second rope and connects with a simple fist to the head of Mitch as blood starts to pour from the corner of Mitch’s eye.

Hanson: Maybe Chassie will beat him so bad that Hazel feels sorry and declares the match a draw for the great sportsmanship of both competitors.

Vinegar: Chassie beating Mitch senseless will not be forever remembered as a great act of sportsmanship. Chassie connects with a neckbreaker to a now lifeless Mitch in the middle of the ring and Nikko has just stormed the ring to protest this match.

Nikko: Enough is enough and I demand that you end this match now!

Hazel: I’m sorry Nikko but this isn’t over until Chassie decides to pin or make him submit.

Vinegar: LOOK! Nikko tries to slap Chassie but Hazel catches him at the last second and starts to push him out of the ring. Chassie looks like she wants to fight right there but Hazel holding Nikko back and has now got him out of the ring. Look behind you Chassie!

Hanson: SHE’S BEEN ROLLED UP!

Hazel: 1!

2!

3!

Vinegar: MITCH HAS JUST PINNED CHASSIE FEAR! The distraction from Nikko has helped Mitch win yet again and…

Hanson: He remains undefeated!

Vinegar: Exactly…wait a second Chassie just beating away at Mitch has numerous other referees are pulling Nikko away. He is helpless to actually help Mitch now that the match is actually over.

Hanson: I’ve always noticed the referees to do their jobs really well at the weirdest times in wrestling.

Vinegar: Chassie hits a gut wrench bomb on Mitch in the middle of the ring and that isn’t it because she has gotten a chair. For the love of god someone let Nikko help him! A shot to the back of Mitch’s head and this kid will probably never wrestle again.

Hanson: Quite a lot of blood in the ring and I am getting dizzy for some reason.

Vinegar: Continuous chair shots are pounding away at Mitch and this is not what I had in mind of entertainment…wait! Nikko has gotten away from the referees and is storming the ring! Chassie swings to hit him but she misses and uses the missed swings momentum to launch herself out of the ring as Nikko goes for the attack. Chassie walking down the aisle happy but simply because Mitch may never be happy again. Nikko is now at the side of Mitch.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Dearest Mickey,
I know your match will go splendidly tonight, but do make mother proud and bash their brains in. For some inspiration, here are some delicious chocolate chip cookies. I know how you love them. And so your little playmate, KvK doesn’t feel left out, I have generously included two Zima’s. Mother always considers your friends dear, and for your opponents, you’ll notice two boxes of Kleenex. Snotty faces are a no-no in public and they are sure to have them after you beat them down mercilessly. I can’t wait to watch your match. So smile, my little star, and remember, mommy’s watching!

Love,
Your Mom

P.S.
Remember what you are supposed to say to nice men when you meet them? That’s right, honey- are you my daddy? Very good. Remember honey, you don’t want to end up a failure like your father. But even if you do, your mother loves you just the same.

The note shakes a bit as Mickey reads it, the frustration and anger evident on his face and in his eyes.

“Who the fuck is doing this shit?!” he screams to no one in particular.

Turning he punches a locker repeatedly, crumpling the note in his fist.

“What the fuck is your problem,” this asked by KvK as he wanders into the locker room, hearing the commotion. The other guys mill around behind him, peering over his shoulder as Mickey loses it.

“Bitch is fucking with me again!” Mickey screams, spit flying from his mouth in anger.

“Ah,” KvK nods in mock sympathy as he walks forward to snatch a scrumptious looking chocolate chip cookie from a perfectly piled plate. He takes a bite, eyes going wide.

“Bitch makes some damn good cookies, though,” he says, mouth full.

Mickey Dragon simply glares at him and if looks could kill, they would have. His eye catches on something underneath the table and he smiles, pulling out a picnic basket full of the bottles of Zima.

“The cookies are for me, but I believe this is yours,” Mickey mockingly holds out the basket for KvK who stops mid-chew to stare in horror at the offending beverages. The two share a look of understanding.

“She has to be stopped,” KvK says seriously and Mickey nods as he picks up a cookie, deep in thought.

Vinegar: What do you think that’s all about.

Hanson: I’m not sure I’m all that bothered to be honest, Mickey Dragon has a secret admirer, shock, horror...it’s not that surprising they wish to stay anonymous, would you admit to being a Mickey Dragon fan in public?

Vinegar: I suppose not, onwards, this next match will determine the stipulation for the GIW.com Title match at Toxic Intent.

Hanson: I hope they pick something good. It’s about time we had something exciting around here.

Vinegar: You don’t think we have exciting matches?

Hanson: Hey, anybody can have a Kaiju Cage Match, or a Towering Inferno Match. I want to see something new and exciting!

Vinegar: Those matches were new and exciting when they happened.

Hanson: But they’re not now, are they?

Vinegar: What do you have in mind?

Hanson: How about a Wombat Match?

Vinegar: What is that?

Hanson: See, you’re interested already.

Vinegar: …right.

The background becomes red and a white spot light runs around the arena as if in search of something, Swagger Like Us by T.I starts to play and the light quickly rushes to the arena's entrance and stays with Michael Cappeli as he struts to the ring with a bounce in his step as if he runs the whole place. He has a very smug not a care in the world look on his face. He takes his sweet time getting to the ring and once there calmly climbs in. Once in the ring raises one hand with his fist tightly clinched and a look of complete hatred and anger in his face.

Mitchell: Entering the ring, Michael, The Nightmare, CAPPELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!

Vinegar: Michael Cappeli will be fighting tonight to give himself an advantage at Toxic Intent, when he faces his opponent tonight again, trying to regain his lost championship.

Hanson: How about a Superkick Match?

Vinegar: A Superkick Match?

Hanson: Sure! First person to poke his opponent in the eye wins.

“Step Up” plays, and William Everknight walks straight to the ring, with the GIW.com Title around his waist. Everknight enters over the middle rope before climbing a turnbuckle and ripping off his sweat singlet before throwing it into the crowd. He takes off his title and hands it to Owen Peterson as he prepares for the match to start.

Mitchell: And his opponent, he is the GIW.com Champion, WILLIAM EVVVVVVVERRRRRRRRRRRRKNIGHT!

Vinegar: William Everknight has had one of the fastest rises to success in Global Impact Wrestling history, as he won championship gold in only his second match.

Hanson: You know it strikes me, we haven’t had a good old fashion Peterson REALLY Sucks Match in awhile.

Vinegar: How would that qualify as new and exciting?

Hanson: Hey, if you haven’t seen it, it’s new to you.

Vinegar: In any case, this match is underway, with the competitors locking up in the center of the ring, Cappeli gets Everknight in a hammerlock, but Everknight ducks through it and shoves Cappeli away, and he knocks him down with a dropkick!

Hanson: How about a Toxic Intent Match?

Vinegar: Isn’t that what it already is?

Hanson: No, not a “Toxic Intent Match.” A “Toxic Intent” Match. Totally different.

Vinegar: Everknight stomping away on Cappeli in the middle of the ring, and he goes for an elbow drop, but Cappeli moves out of the way!

Hanson: Are you paying attention? I moved the quotation marks for an entirely different meaning.

Vinegar: Yes, I got it, in the meantime, Cappeli comes off the ropes, and he knocks Everknight down with a running crossover clothesline! Everknight tries to get back up, but Cappeli puts him right back down with a flipping dropkick, and a quick cover!

1!

2!

Vinegar: Everknight kicks out! But the former champion keeps on him, stomping away on Everknight, and pulling him up into a fallaway slam, he is keeping the pressure on.

Hanson: How about a Deep Pressure Match?

Vinegar: What, the winner has to massage his opponent into submission?

Hanson: The person most secure in his masculinity wins!

Vinegar: Cappeli comes off the ropes as Everknight is getting up, but Everknight catches him in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker! Cappeli tries to get up, but Everknight puts him right back down with a swinging neckbreaker, he floats into a cover!

1!

2!

Vinegar: Cappeli kicks out!

Hanson: A Kick Out Match! Or its sister match, the 2-Count Match! Most wins!

Vinegar: So you’ve got to almost lose to win?

Hanson: Sure! It’s logical, or something like that.

Vinegar: Cappeli is trying to get up, but Everknight puts him into a sleeper hold!

Hanson: A Winkle Match!

Vinegar: A what?

Hanson: You know….RVW style. Gotta put your opponent to sleep.

Vinegar: You’re putting our viewers to sleep.

Hanson: I didn’t want you to be the only one.

Vinegar: In any case, Cappeli is fading in that dangerous hold, and Owen Peterson lifts the arm, and it drops! He does it again, and it drops a second time! Peterson lifts the arm, but on the third try it stays up, as Cappeli struggles, but Everknight refuses to relinquish, instead he transitions into the sleeper suplex! A cover!

1!

2!

Vinegar: No! Cappeli gets the shoulder up! Everknight gets quickly to his feet, and he yanks Cappeli up off the mat and goes for the Everknight Alpha, but Cappeli elbows him away! Everknight turns around and goes for a toe kick, but Cappeli catches the leg, and he hits a dragon screw, only to hold the leg and repeat, the Recurring Nightmare!

Hanson: A Nightmare on Elm Street Match!

Vinegar: What would that be?

Hanson: Hey, that’s up to them to figure out. You want me to do everything?

Vinegar: Cappeli takes a moment to catch his breath, and he waves at Everknight to get back up. Evernight stumbles up, and Cappeli nails him with two right jabs, and continues the Nightmare combination, but as he goes for the final uppercut, Everknight counters with Everknight Alpha, and both men are down!

Hanson: No! A Last Man Standing Match is SO last week.

Vinegar: Owen Peterson has started the ten count, but both men are stirring, with Everknight the first to get to his feet. He swings for a clothesline, but Cappeli ducks it, he kicks the champion in the chest, and then lifts him and sets him up for Cappitalized, and he hits it! Cappeli covers!

1!

2!

3!

Mitchell: Here is your winner, MICHAEL CAPPELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!

Vinegar: Michael Cappeli wins the match, and he will choose the stipulation for the match at Toxic Intent, when he gets his rematch against William Everknight for the GIW.com Championship!

Hanson: Let’s hope he picks a good one! I’ve got a ton of ideas.

Vinegar: You have to imagine Everknight will be furious, he’ll be defending with a disadvantage against the man who just broke his undefeated streak!

Hanson: Oooh! A Streaking Match! To win, you have to-

Vinegar: Don’t we have a commercial we can cut to?

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: This has been a great night of GiW action so far, and we've only got more to come!

Hanson: It's been an amazing night, Nick! The Lord-Chief has already taken out one of the pretenders to the co-Undisputed Global Championships!

Vinegar: It actually make less sense if you try to make it plural.

Hanson: Well I'm trying!

'Immortal' hits, and Donovan Hastings walks down the ramp with Owen Peterson following him. Peterson is carrying the replica title belt.

Hanson: Here he is now! Hail to the co-Undisputed Global Champion and One True Lord-Chief Nigga of Pain, Esq!

Vinegar: Esq?

Hanson: Esquire!

Vinegar: Oh, come on.

Hanson: You really need to stop blaspheming the cUGCaOTLCNoPE.

Vinegar: It's getting out of control.

Hanson: Getting?

Vinegar: In any case, Hastings coming to the ring now, and he's even making Owen Peterson carry that replica belt for him.

Hanson: Well, I'm sure it's heavy.

Vinegar: It's made of plastic.

Hanson: Quiet! The Lord-Chief is going to speak!

Hastings: Earlier tonight, you saw the first step of what history shall remember as the Co-Undisputed plan. Everyone knows that at Break for the Border, Travis Roberts and myself were declared the co-Undisputed Global Champions, but I'm told that there were other matches held that night as well, apparently. What's more, three men were declared to be the co-Number One Contenders to our championship. Two co-champs, three co-contenders. That's just wrong. It makes no sense!

Hanson: He's right, it doesn't!

Hastings: I mean, this is even more ill-conceived that allowing a midget to run around unchecked in a penguin costume that he probably found in his mother's basement, although it isn't quite as bad as becoming a hobo so you don't have to do the dishes. But what it does present us with, is a problem, one that I've already taken measures to solve. After all, sending three people against Blessed Immortality is hardly a fair fight. If they got some more guys, maybe, but as long as we're going to have the advantage, there may as well be less of them. So! First, I went and found the card for Toxic Intent and noticed I had been mistakenly left off the main event, so I added myself, used a Crayola, it was all I had. Second, where there were three, there are now only two. Diamond Jack Severino has been eliminated, and I promise you, it is only the beginning. Only two remain, and tonight, Blessed Immortality finishes what I earlier tonight started, the extermination of the peasantry that would seek their own doom.

Vinegar: He is serious?

Hanson: Nick, this is Our Lord and Co-Champion. He is always serious.

Just then a haze of feedback and electronics come over the speakers, followed by a staccato guitar line that hasn't been heard for a few months but is still familiar. Moss Edwards steps out onto the ramp as 'Dark of the Matinee' hits its moody first verse, clad in jeans and a black hoodie. Grace Harding follows closely behind in her usual attire. He soaks in the pop and smiles at the capacity crowd before casually making his way down the ramp.

Hanson: Oh, come on! I thought Baldo was off tickling Spielberg's ball sack or something.

Vinegar: It's been about three weeks since Edwards and the rest of Team MJ each earned a shot at the Unified Championship currently held...

Hanson: Co-held.

Vinegar: By Travis Roberts.

Edwards rolls under the ropes and leaps onto the turnbuckle to play to the crowd some more, and Ms Harding tosses him a microphone.

Hanson: You ever wonder where she gets those things from? It's not like she has a ton of extra space in that top.

Edwards: Target demographic, I have only been gone for the better part of one month, and already this is what passes as entertainment in this town? The insane ramblings of a man in a cape? I saw that on every street corner last week, and trust me, I didn't pay full ticket price for it. Now, I admit, target demo, that I have let you down these past few weeks. We have finally made our way back onto the air, and I should have been here doing what I alone am fully qualified to do. I should have been here providing the ABSOLUTE BEST in sports entertainment. So you have been left with, well, THIS. So I think it's time for an impromptu session of...Head Shots!

Hanson: I thought we were done with these things after he lost that damn belt.

Hastings: Niglet, handle this please.

Peterson: Yo, bizitch, da Lord of Pain, this is his show now yo, and it's off the heezy fasheezy. Yo ass is in his ring, and sheeyat son, I don't see no invite in yo hand.

Edwards: No, no, this is cute, the whole ebonics thing, it's got a great Bamboozled feel to it, you must sleep very well at night. Let me go ahead and take this from the top, I'll step over here into psychotown and talk this over with you man to deluded loon. YOU are co-champion, let's accept this as reality for the moment. You are co-champion. I am co-number one contender. You apparently consider this to be your show now, while any focus group could tell you that there are maybe three or four names that draw eyes onto this program, and wouldn't you know it, one of them is mine, and none of them are yours.

Hastings: Is there a point to all this?

Edwards: Next week? Pay per view? How about co-champion vs co-challenger?

Vinegar: Whoa! Moss Edwards coming back from his Hollywood vacation to make a huge challenge to The Lord of Pain!

Hanson: Finally!

Vinegar: I know what you mean, Daniel, it's about time we got to see a real one on one match between these two future main event stars!

Hanson: Um, I meant finally I get a match that I can be totally biased towards. All this Travis Roberts vs Gabrielle, or Travis Roberts vs Lord Hastings, it's been like choosing between Iron Man and Captain America every week, it's gotten confusing.

Vinegar: Like Civil War?

Hanson: Nah, that story made sense, it just tarnished my youth.

Edwards: Now, last time you were on my show, you took a swing at me. So do try to answer my question with words, hell you can stick to single syllables if it helps keep the crazies at bay for the moment.

Hastings: *snap*

Peterson: Da Lord of Mutha-effin payne, he aint't skerred. He's gonna show yo ass, and everbuddy else, why he be da Chief Nigga and da Co-Unified Champion!

Edwards: That is adorhorrible. Hey, that reminds me, I already stopped by the Red-Headed Demoness's office and asked if we could go ahead and preview this tonight.

Hanson: You mean, I get to see Hastings make him tap out two weeks in a row? This almost makes up for STDino likin' it and puttin' a ring on it.

Edwards: By proxy of course. Tonight, it will be MY assistant...

Grace twirls half-heartedly to cat calls.

Edwards: Versus...YOUR assistant.

Peterson: Wait, w-w-w-wait just a...

Hastings: We accept.

Edwards: Mr Peterson, you may want to report to wardrobe, you appear to have pissed yourself a little bit. You'll want to look your best tonight, because Ms Harding and I are going to make you...well, you know the rest.

"Dark of the Matinee" as Moss and Grace bow out of the ring, at least one of them (I'm sure you can guess which) smiling at the pair left in the ring.

Vinegar: You heard it folks, next week it's going to be The Auteur versus the Lord of Pain, but tonight it's going to be Grace Harding and Owen Peterson!

Hanson: You say that like it's exciting. Why does Peterson get to put his hands on Ms Harding, while everytime I try, she maces me?

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: Welcome back to Sentinel, we are just one week away from Toxic Intent, and already the card is changing shape around us. Moss Edwards has taken it upon himself to be the man who finally puts an end to Donovan Hastings by postponing his own Unified Global Championship Match at Toxic Intent to teach the Lord Chief a lesson.

Hanson: Hang on a minute, if Hastings is as crazy as the likes of yourself make him out to be, isn’t Moss just legitimizing his claims to be Co-Undisputed Unified Global Champion? Not that such an undisputable fact needs to be legitimized.

Vinegar: Moss Edwards is clearly outraged by the lack of respect Donovan Hastings is showing the Unified Global Championship, and has taken it upon himself to put an end to it. It’s quite a valiant sacrifice given the fact no-one else has been bothered to address the fallacy that Hastings continues.

Hanson: And is gonna be beaten to a pulp for his efforts, well done that man.

Vinegar: Well, we’ll find out in a week’s time, Nick. But right now we’ve got Brandon browns frst competitive match since returning...

Hanson: he had a match last week.

Vinegar: And his opponent ran away, hence why I said competitive match.

The haunting guitar tone of Chimaira’s “Secrets of the Dead” begins as the lights dim, drawing the crowd to a terrified silence. The people wait on baited breath, afraid to speak for fear of who is behind the curtains. All is dark and as the guitar plays, the atmosphere of the arena one of death and silence and terror. As the music hits a riff, lights of dark purple and white rise up, illuminating the looks of awe and trepidation dispersed amongst the throngs of people. They flash and swirl in random form, seeming to have no particular pattern. While the lights flash on, Raenius of The Covenant and Klaus vonKnorre of Sleeze and Carrots make their way out onto the stage. The very air about them is one of menace and violence. They step forward, observing with disdain the crowd that starts to boo them. Walking forward they make their way down the aisle slowly, casting loathsome looks at the people who are too afraid to throw things, but voice their dislike openly. As they make their way to the stage they climb in and then mount opposite turnbuckles, looking out amongst the crowd, who is once again shushed by the death like creep of terror’s hands around their hearts. The song fades.

Dennis: The next match is schedule dfor one fall, and is a tag team contest, already in the ring, representing The Covenant and Sleaze and Carrots respectively, RAAAAAAAAAENIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIUSSSSS ANNNNNNNNND K.....V.....K!!!

Vinegar: And we’ve got the debut of KvK tonight aswell, there have been rumours this guys was gonna show up for months, and he seems to have a tight bond with The Covenant, which can only be a negative thing for GIW.

Hanson: Why? It seems every other person in the company is either part of, or has links to The Covenant. So this guy’s presence is no more negative than any of the others.

Vinegar: The Covenant are dominant enough as it is, they don’t need more reinforcements or allies, they need people to stand up and challenge them, people to actually remind them what real competition is...

The arena goes deadly silent as the GlobaTron goes to a blank screen. Then out of nowhere "Storm Front" hits the P.A system as the lights flicker to green and gold.

Dennis: Introducing their opponents, making hsi way to the ring first, from Townssville, Australia, ‘The CYYYYCLOOOONE’ JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY-KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!

JK walks through the curtain and out onto the entrance way. JK looks up at the fans as he holds up an open hand, showing all fingers and the thumb, queing fireworks to go off in set locations around the arena. (at this point, if champion, JK will hold up title to set of pyros). JK continues down to the ring, high fiving the fans on the way. JK slides into the ring before climbing the turnbuckle and doing signiture five finger pose.

Hanson: Isn’t a ‘Signature Five Finger Pose’ just holding your hand out?

Vinegar: Yes it is.

Hanson: it kind of makes him look special...

Vinegar: Leave the kid alone, he’s only Fifteen...

Hanson: I know, I’m pretty sure it’s not legal for him to even step inside a ring at that age.

Vinegar: Legal or not he’s handled himself pretty well over recent months, especially for his age.

‘Kickstart my Heart’ starts to filter through the PA system, and the fans climb to their feet, no less rabid for a sight of their hero than last week.

Dennis: And introducing his partner, from Albion, Indiana, he is BRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANDOOOOOOOOOOOOOON BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWN!!!!

Vinegar: This is what a lot of these guys paid their money to see...

Hanson: A JK match? Really?

Vinegar: I was thinking more about a proper match involving their Hero, Brandon Brown.

Hanson: Seriously, who in their right mind would consider Brandon Brown a hero? Maybe the same people that consider Moss Edwards a ‘film maker’, and in which case, those dudes can barely be considered human.

Vinegar: Well as you can hear, most of the fans in this building must fall into that category, as they are giving Brandon Brown a rapturous ovation, and he’s lapping it up, stopping on his way down to the ring to pose, and he just looks around at the fans, he looks happier than we saw him towards the end of his last run in GIW.

Hanson: Probably because he hasn’t had a humiliation at the hands of Declan Prescott in months...

Vinegar: Well, who has? Regardless Brandon is now in the ring, and he and KvK are gonna start this one off.

DING!

Vinegar: And there is the bell, KvK makes the first move and goes towards Brandon, attempting a...wait...

Hanson: What?

Vinegar: I could of sworn this dude had a profile...

Hanson: Well he wouldn’t be booked on a car, otherwise, right?

Vinegar: Theoretically but having phished through pages upon pages of alpha male banter and awful jokes, it seems they have disappeared...

Hanson: So whats happening in the ring?

Vinegar: I’m not sure, suffice to say Klaus has executed some moves on Brandon brown at this point, but I’m afraid I couldn’t possibly tell you what kind of moves they are...

Hanson: Are they hurting Brandon?

Vinegar: I imagine they would be, yes.

Hanson: Then I like him already....surely he could be doing some fairly generic moves?

Vinegar: Well, if the dudes gonna go to the lengths of hiding his profile before his first match, do you really think he deserves that kind of effort...it matters not as Brandon counters out of a move and hits KvK with a desperation DDT, swinging the momentum in his favour. Brandon getting back to his feet, and wasting no time in laying some boots into the fallen Klaus, before dragging him to his feet, whipping him against the ropes, and taking him down once more with a quick powerslam...

Hanson: Are those moves even IN Brandon’s profile?

Vinegar: I’m not sure, but Brown has done us the courtesy of providing one, so we’ll give him some proper moves...

Hanson: Wow, a Powerslam, I’m sure he’s honoured...

Vinegar: Well he now tags out to ‘The Cyclone’ JK, who springboards in and catches Klaus with a huricanrana, which KvK reverses into...another move... and then tags in his partner, who owns a profile, The Resident Evil, Raenius.

Hanson: Raenius quickly upon JK who climbs to his feet after that move from KvK, and takes JK down by the throat and chokes him in the centre of the ring, until Glenn bhurke breaks the illegal hold, and gives Raenius a talking too...

Vinegar: With that mask we can’t even see if Raenius is listening as he turns away from Burke, and starts stomping on the teenage head of his opponent, before bringing him quickly to his feet and hitting him with a snap suplex....

Hanson: Raenius in full control now, as he brings JK to his feet and whips him into the corner, and follows him in...

Vinegar: Only for JK to leap upwards, wrap his legs around Raenius and bring him backwards for a sunset flip pin...

1...

2...

Vinegar: JK almost ending this match out of nowhere right there, and the young man from the land down under, quickly gets to his feet, and hits the rising Raenius in the mask with a right foot, before running the ropes, and hitting him with a Flying Crossbody...and another pin attempt...

1...

2...

Hanson; Raenius this time launching the frame of JK halfway across the ring as he quicks out, and gets back to his feet menacingly. He looks over towards Klaus...

Vinegar: Considering the tag, but then thinking better of bringing in a man with no move set before things get desperate, and quickly dodges JK who has charged towards him during that thought process....but JK capitalises and manages to tag Brandon and then return off the ropes to hit Raenius with a flying forearm, sending The Resident Evil to the ground, as Brandon climbs the ropes, and leaps off hitting Raenius with a powerful elbow drop...but wait...on the entranceway...it’s Dirge!

Hanson: Come to show his Tag Partner and Co-Holder of the GIW Tag Titles some morale support I am sure...

Vinegar: Well the action continues inside the ring as Dirge stalks his way to ringside, as Raenius manages to dodge a clothesline from Brown, and he hits a desperation neck breaker, and starts crawling towards his ropes...and finally makes the tag to the man with no move set, Klaus von Knorre, who picks up the groggy Brandon and hits with an Unspecified Move, bringing the Two Time Global Champion to the ground once more, and then goes for the cover....

1...

2...

Vinegar:NO! It’s gonna take more than an Unspecified Move to keep down the ‘Most Resilient Athlete in GIW’, as Brandon kicks out without much effort. The momentum though is still with KvK who raises Brown to his feet and whips him into the ropes, on his way back he hits him with a flying move of some description...

Hanson: Now the man with no moves, stands above Brandon and forces his hands into his face...they could be punches, they could be slaps, hell it could be eye pokes, but folks, we’ll never know....

Vinegar: Brandon though eventually blocks and grabs KvK by the wrist, and then uses a wristlock to spin KvK to his back, a move that may not necessarily be in Brandon’s move set, but as he has learnt some moves we can safely assume that is one of them....

Hanson: Now Brandon quickly makes the tag to ‘The Cyclone’ JK...who springboards onto the top rope...CANE TOAD SPLASH! COVER

Vinegar: But wouldn’t you just know it, Glenn Burke has been distracted by Dirge, as the monster of a man climbs onto the apron, and now Burke is trying to get him to leave, without much success. And JK has Klaus out cold, God Damn it! JK has this won...

Hanson: Raenius now using the distraction to slide in the ring, with a chair no less...and slams it across the back of the skull of the unprepared Cyclone, then rolls him onto the canvas, and drapes KvK over him...
Vinegar: It figures, that is the only way a man who hasn’t learned any wrestling moves is gonna win....even against a 15 year old kid...and conveniently Firge now drops of the canvas, allowing Glenn Burke to turn around, and start the cover...

1...

2...

Hanson: NO!

Vinegar: Brandon brown is quick to come to the aid of his partner, and he quickly then turns on Raenius....SUPERKICK!

Hanson: Raenius flying off the canvas into the third row of the crowd, Glenn burke tries to gewt him out of the ring, but Brandon shrugs him off and exits himself, stalking a retreating Dirge...

Vinegar: both KvK and JK are on their feet....Klaus attempts yet another move that’s identity is shrouded in secrecy, but is foiled as JK dodges said move and produces a punch to the gut....THE CYCLONE! COVER!

1...

2...

3!!!!

Dennis: HERE ARE YOUR WINNERS...BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANDON BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWN AND THE CYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYCLONE, JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!

Vinegar: Who’d have thought the fifteen year old Cyclone would get the win over the...hang on, how old is Klaus?

Hanson: Just another mystery, one of many that led to his timely demise to a Fifteen Year Old who can’t legally have sex yet!

Vinegar: Yet has a pregnant teenage girlfriend, and hasn’t been arrested for it.

Hanson: It’s a dark day for Klaus von Knorre.

Vinegar: Well, it’s certainly a debut I doubt anyone will forget...

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

We return from the commercials and we see the well maintained figure of Two Time Global Champion, Brandon brown, covered in sweat, standing next to Roxy Malone, equipped with a microphone.

Roxy: Brandon, how did your first proper match back in GIW feel?

Brandon: Roxy, it felt good to be back in a GIW ring after all these months. It felt good kicking Raenius in his freaky masked face.

Roxy: Did you enjoy tagging with ‘The Cyclone’ JK.

Brandon: I didn’t know much about JK before today, but I know now he’s not bad in the ring, he’s a quick high flying kid...and did you know he’s only Fifteen?

Roxy: it has been mentioned. What did you think about the actions of Dirge?

Brandon: When I was last here, The Covenant were just a bunch of dudes who sat around in the dark watching obscure Norwegian horror movies, and occasionally came out to get beaten. Now I come back, and frankly Roxy, their behaviour disgusted me tonight. I hear Dirge and Raenius are meant to be Tag Team Champions , that’s no way for Champions to behave...

Roxy: Would you say you’ve got The Covenant in your sights now then?

Brandon: Look, as long as they don’t try and pull anymore of that stupid stuff, then those freaks won’t taste anymore Superkick’s. They just better stay off my Radar...didn’t GIW get kicked off the air because of stuff like that? Wrestlers not controlling themselves? I didn’t come back to be taken off the air, so if anyone tries to endanger this company now I’m back, well I’ll send Big B round to eat all your food...try interfering when your too hungry to walk!

With that Brandon turns from Roxy and makes his way back towards his locker room, his face looking focused and stern, just as the scene begins to fade back to the arena, we just manage to see him approached by Owen Peterson.

Hanson: I didn't want to fuck her but I couldn't help it!

Vinegar: Uh... Dan.

Hanson: I know she was 6 foot, 8 and weighed 500 pounds but I was so drunk!

Vinegar: Daniel.

Hanson: And the fact that she was older than Old Lady Levene didn't even cross my mind.

Vinegar: Daniel, we're-

Hanson: I can remember her wrinkly flabby flesh all over me. It felt good at the time. And her soft bosom. Her back bosom was soft too, but only because it was covered in hair. She was a hairy lady. I mean, it was like I had a grizzly bear bouncing on top of me. What a night...

Vinegar: Daniel, we're on air!

Hanson: …..

Vinegar: We're back, Daniel.

Hanson: God, that was an awful dream! Oh God, I'm glad that NEVER happened in real life.

Vinegar: Okay... ANYWAY! Up next, we have Alex Kiseragi against Mickey Dragon against Serapis!

Hanson: Now, I actually have money on Alex Kiseragay so if he doesn't win, I am going to be pissed off!

Vinegar: How much money?

Hanson: Oh, not much, only $30,000.

Vinegar: WHAT!

Hanson: It's short change! I'm loaded. Anyway, I pawned my grandma's wedding ring. I'll buy it back once the Rainbow Dragon wins.

Vinegar: Well, I hope you know what you're doing. What am I saying, of course you don't. Anyway, I think Mitchell Dennis is about to speak.

Dennis: The following contest is a TRIPLE THREAT match, scheduled for one fall!

Hanson: A threesome!

Nile kicks off as Serapis' video package plays over the Globaltron and the man himself appears at the top of the entrance ramp.

Dennis: Serapis!

Vinegar: That's it? That's his introduction?

Hanson: Yeah, Mitchell is getting lazy! That Hazel East needs to discipline her man. Tie him to the bed and spank him.

Vinegar: In any case, we saw Serapis betray his tag partner last week.

Hanson: The one and only Vanity ShowWood!

Vinegar: Seemingly helping Dirge and Mickey Dragon achieve the victory at the expense of a loss for himself!

Hanson: I knew he'd see sense sooner or later. Nobody resists the Covenant and lives to tell the tale!

Serapis is stretching in the ring as the haunting organ of Critical Acclaim signals the arrival of Mickey Dragon!

Dennis: Mickey Dragon!

Vinegar: Maybe Mitchell has a sore throat.

Hanson: That would explain Moss Edwards' sore cock.

Vinegar: Moss Edwards?

Hanson: I had to pick someone!

Mickey Dragon flips over the top rope and climbs a corner as Serapis looks on.

Vinegar: Now, after last week, I'm wondering if Serapis and Mickey Dragon are going to be working together.

Hanson: I hope not! I cannot lose that 30k.

Vinegar: I thought you were loaded!

Hanson: Uh... I am, but I want to win so bad!

The taiko beat of Teahouse by Juno Reactor blasts through the arena as the audience pops for Alex Kiseragi.

Dennis: Kiseragi!

Vinegar: He didn't even say his first name!

Hanson: Well, how many Kiseragays are there in GIW?

Kiseragi kicks the air and backflips as pyro goes off around him.

Vinegar: And you know Kiseragi's going to want to kick some ass after Donovan Hastings screwed him out of the Unified Global Championship!

Hanson: The co-Champ did what he had to do to protect his half of the title.

Vinegar: And we could be looking at the new champion right now had Hastings not interfered!

Hanson: Are you kidding me? The Rainbow Dragon is nothing compared to the Blessed One. He's shit; we only have him here to keep the gay community watching. And he sells a lot of gay merchandise.

Vinegar: So that's why you have money on him, as opposed to Serapis and Mickey Dragon?

Hanson: Anyway, Nick – I think this match is on!

Hazel East calls for the bell!

Vinegar: And all three men are standing there, anticipating the first move!

Hanson: It's like that film, The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.

Vinegar: They're all glaring at each other, wondering who will act first?

Hanson: Alex is so innocent, he has to be the Good.

Vinegar: And Mickey Dragon goes for Alex! Kiseragi dodges the attack but Serapis grabs him from behind.

Hanson: He likes it way! Speaking of Serapis, he's the Bad! Especially after his betrayal of Vanity ShowWood last week.

Vinegar: Here comes Mickey Dragon with a lariat and Kiseragi drops to the floor! Serapis takes the impact and lands on his back.

Hanson: And Mickey Dragon is the Ugly! I think that'll be the case no matter who he's facing.

Vinegar: Kiseragi's up and so is Mickey Dragon. They're face to face and Mickey throws the first punch!

Hanson: No! Serapis rolls him up!

1!


2!


Vinegar: Kiseragi kicking Serapis in the head before Hazel has a chance to count 3!

Hanson: Kiseragi whips Serapis across the ring and floors him with a drop-toe-hold!

Vinegar: And there's Mickey Dragon with a standing shooting star! Serapis is taking a real beating here. He's holding his back in pain after that move.

Hanson: Are Mickey Dragon and Rainbow Dragon working together?

Vinegar: Here's your answer, Daniel, as Alex takes Mickey from behind. Standing switch and a German suplex! Alex lands on his feet and Mickey has no idea! Alex takes him down with a chop block.

Hanson: Wait, where's Serapis?

Vinegar: There he is! Serapis surprises Kiseragi with a springboard clothesline but Kiseragi bends over backwards before catching Serapis with a sickening side kick to the face!

Hanson: Oh, that's got to hurt! And Serapis is rolling out of the ring like a coward! Look at him go.

Vinegar: I think that's common sense, Daniel. Oh, Kiseragi's going high risk here as he sprints towards the ropes! Serapis backs away and Kiseragi with a tiger feint kick, landing on the apron. Here comes an Asai moonsault!

Hanson: And Mickey Dragon out of nowhere with an enzuigiri that sends Kiseragi down to the arena floor! God damn it, Alex! He should know that if he loses this match and I lose my bet, I'm coming after him for that $30,000!

Vinegar: Kiseragi landing hard and now Serapis kicking his limp, lifeless body. Why Alex, why not the man who beats him?

Hanson: Because Alex is easily the weaker of the three. In fact, I hear he's scared of me. He'd probably shit himself if he saw me coming.

Vinegar: Oh really, Daniel – highly unlikely. Oh my God! Serapis could be knocked out after that suicide dive by Mickey Dragon! Now all three men lie crippled on the floor.

Hanson: Come on, Alex! Get up, you raging homosexual! Y'know, I hear he's got a new boyfriend, one Willy Everknight; an appropriate name, I think!

Vinegar: And where did you hear that?

Hanson: The grapevine. And I can't help wondering, is Alex a top or a bottom?

Vinegar: Uh... I don't want to know. Anyway, speaking of Alex, he's up! And not in that way. Kiseragi whips Serapis into the guardrail and follows up with a crazy calf kick! Serapis dodges and Kiseragi straddles the guardrail.

Hanson: Willy won't be getting any action tonight!

Vinegar: And Mickey Dragon's on the apron! Running dropkick! Serapis ducks and Kiseragi's knocked flying into the first row!

Hanson: What's Hazel East doing!? These men should be the ring! If I lose this bet, she'll be paying me my 30 grand!

Vinegar: What about her boyfriend, Mitchell Dennis?

Hanson: What about him? He's only a ring announcer.

Vinegar: And you're only a colour commentator! Anyway, Hazel is telling them all to get back into the ring as Serapis and Mickey trade lefts and rights. I don't think Kiseragi is going anywhere right now, though.

Hanson: Serapis rolls into the ring and Mickey Dragon is right behind him.

Vinegar: Serapis Irish whips the Head Trip and catches him with a frankensteiner into a pin!

1!


2!


Vinegar: Mickey gets a shoulder up! Serapis turns to face Mickey and throws him with a hip toss. Mickey lands on his feet and leaps onto the top rope, springboard moonsault and a pin!

1!


Hanson: Serapis kicks out! Thank God!

Vinegar: Mickey Dragon picks him up before planting him with a reverse DDT. And Serapis looks dazed as Mickey climbs the corner and nails him with a swanton bomb! Mickey Dragon with the cover!

1!


2!


Hanson: No! Serapis kicks out again! God damn it, Alex! Get your ass back in that ring, now!

Vinegar: Mickey Dragon's not done yet, as he lifts Serapis into a falcon arrow! Serapis counters, though, dropping behind the Head Trip. Pele kick! Did you hear Mickey's boot crack Serapis in the head?

Hanson: I did and I don't like it!

Vinegar: Mickey Dragon on the attack! He lifts Serapis once again into the falcon arrow and... no! Serapis counters with a knee to the head and drops back to the mat. Oh my God! Dragon impaled Serapis with a sickening spear and Serapis might be broken in two!

Hanson: I swear to God, if Alex doesn't get up right now, I'll have to go over there and get him myself!

Vinegar: Mickey Dragon looks frustrated now as he holds a barely standing Serapis upright. And once again, he's going for a falcon arrow! WHAM! Third time lucky! Serapis is out cold as Mickey Dragon goes for the pin!

1!


2!


2.9!

Hanson: OH MY GOD! Thank you, Serapis! Come on Serapis! GET UP!

Vinegar: Mickey Dragon can't believe it! What will it take to defeat Serapis?

Hanson: I don't know and I don't know want to know.

Vinegar: EGO DEATH!

1!


2!


2.9!!!

Vinegar: Kiseragi breaks the pin!

Hanson: OH MY FUCKING GOD! THANK YOU!

Vinegar: And Mickey Dragon doesn't look too happy. He had this match in the bag but he forgot about the other Dragon!

Hanson: Alex Kiseragi kicking Mickey Dragon into the corner and a roundhouse drops him to the mat! Here comes a hesitation dropkick and Mickey Dragon might have a broken nose!

Vinegar: Kiseragi doesn't care as he lifts Mickey to the top turnbuckle. What's he going for now? A superplex? No! Mickey Dragon's fighting him off. Alex falls back first to the mat as Mickey Dragon readies himself for a high risk move!

Hanson: No, Kiseragi leaps up to the top turnbuckle like a fucking cat!

Vinegar: The Head Trip throws him off! And here comes a leaping lariat!

Hanson: YARI KICK! And a pin!

1!


2!


2.9!!!

Vinegar: Serapis threw himself into the cover and Hazel's hand stopped only an inch from the mat!

Hanson: No! GAAAAAH! I will make you pay, Serapis! I will make you pay, literally, if Kiseragi loses this match!

Vinegar: Serapis up and Kiseragi looks mad! Now they're trading shots, one stiff strike after another and Kiseragi hits a side kick! No! Serapis blocks it. A roundhouse! No! Serapis blocks again! And a calf kick takes him down.

Hanson: The Dragon picks him up from behind, hooking his right arm and then his left. Dragon suplex, bridging into the pin!

1!


2!


2.9!

Vinegar: Serapis somehow managing to kick out!

Hanson: NOOO! Okay, I lied! I'm not loaded! This is all I have! If Kiseragi loses, I'm done for!

Vinegar: Well, Mickey Dragon's on his feet, as is Alex Kiseragi and Serapis. We're back where we started!

Hanson: Kiseragi whips Serapis and takes him over with a back body drop!

Vinegar: NO! Serapis lands on Mickey's shoulders and flips him into a frankensteiner followed by a pin!

1!


2!


Vinegar: Alex dropkicking Serapis in the face! And Mickey rolls into the pin!

1!


2!


Hanson: No! Kiseragi with a dropkick to the back of Mickey Dragon now!

Vinegar: Mickey stands to face Alex and Serapis rolls him up from behind!

1!


2!


Hanson: And Kiseragi breaks the pin with a roll up of his own on Serapis!

1!


2!


Vinegar: Mickey Dragon with a third roll up on Alex Kiseragi now!

1!


2!


2.9!!!

Hanson: ALEX KICKED OUT! YEAH!

Vinegar: Don't celebrate yet! Serapis nails Mickey Dragon with a crucifix bomb into a pin!

1!


2!


2.9!

Vinegar: Alex Kiseragi makes the save and Hazel East is working hard out there! Alex grabs Serapis behind a hits a perfect German suplex, bridging into the pin!

1!


2!


Hanson: Mickey Dragon takes Serapis' leg and rolls him into a standing position.

Vinegar: Serapis reacts quickly, though and it's a small package!

1!


2!


2.9!

Vinegar: Once again, Kiseragi makes the save! Kiseragi throws Serapis to the arena floor and he's now looking at Mickey Dragon. The Head Trip looks exhausted as he pulls himself up.

Hanson: Shining wizard! And the cover!

1!


2!


Vinegar: Shooting star press from Serapis and Alex Kiseragi rolls out of harm's way! Mickey Dragon takes full impact and Serapis looks hurt as he struggles to a standing position.

Hanson: And a back slide from Kiseragi!

1!


2!


3!

Hanson: Yes! I'm rich! I'M GOD DAMN RICH! I knew he could do it! I knew you could do it, Kiseragay!

Vinegar: Wow, what a match! And Hazel East raises Kiseragi's arm in victory!

Hanson: And like in the film, the Good won! The Good came up on top!

Vinegar: So the money should be his!

Hanson: Fuck him, the match is over. I don't need that homo any more.

Vinegar: Well, you're right about one thing – the match is over! So we'll be back with another one after this short break.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Hanson: Is there really a pay per view next week?

Vinegar: Um, yes.

Hanson: Didn't we just have one?

Vinegar: No, it just seems that way because certain people have been on vacation this past month so things have been rushed. Remember the Father's Day Recap Spectacular?

Hanson: I do, it was the easiest paycheck I ever made. I wish every week went by so quickly.

Vinegar: Just think of this pay per view as the Backlash to Break for the Border's Wrestlemania.

Hanson: So this is one of those times when you don't really know what's on the card when you pay for it? Like most TNA shows?

Vinegar: Well, one match on the card for certain is Moss Edwards and Lord Hastings, and we're going to get a de facto preview of that bout right now.

Hanson: Ooo, check out this continuity: Edwards returned earlier tonight to challenge The Lord of Pain, and then revealed that he had already asked Mary Jo Roberts to set the following match in place.

The bouncy brass of "Step Into My Office Baby" brings people up onto their feet. Men in particular watch in anticipation. Finally, Grace Harding steps onto the entryway and again, many people are disappointed to learn that she is indeed fully clothed under her jacket. Moss Edwards follows closely behind her, filming the crowd reaction.

Mitchell: The following special exhibition match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Hollywood California, GRACE HAAAAARDIIIING!

Grace backflips into the ring and removes her jacket before throwing a fist into the air, an old habit.

Vinegar: Miss Harding of course is not only the trusted PA of The Auteur, she is also close friends with Randy Boolzian, a fact that Mary Jo Roberts has been heard contemplating backstage.

Hanson: And speaking of Egghead, he is sitting down. Are you lost buddy?

Edwards: Mr Henson, Mr Vanguard, how are you gentlemen doing this evening?

Vinegar: Well, we've been enjoying another night of great Sentinel action.

Edwards: It's okay, you can go off book with me, I know things have been ever so dire in my absence. But that's why I told the Weinsteins that I couldn't just sit on-set and soak in my lucrative consulting paycheck.

Vinegar: So when will we be seeing this new film?

Edwards: Nicholas, remember that Hollywood filmmaking is a lengthy, involved process. But I promise that as soon as there is footage to share, this will be the first place to see it.

Adema's "Immortal" comes over the speakers. Owen Peterson is shoved onto the ramp by Lord Hastings.

Mitchell: And her opponent, from his momma's gaping crawlspace, OWEEEEN PEEETEEERSOOOON!

Moss: That is 200 hundred pounds of man in a 150 pound tested singlet.

Hanson: Another brilliant ploy by the master manipulator, The Lord of Pain!

Moss: So, how does that kool-aid taste?

Hanson: What?

Vinegar: Heh.

Hanson: What’s with the hooded look, you usually stomp around here in those men’s wearhouse run offs.

Moss: Hey, I didn’t come here expecting to host another installment of my ever-popular Head Shots segment. But a certain robe aficionado required my…

Vinegar: Speak of the Devil, it appears we have another guest joining us here at the booth.

Hastings: This…is not a booth. Niglet?

Hanson: Is that…am I the Niglet now?

Hastings: Niglet, make note of this, as Co-Unified Champion, my matches deserve to be called from a REAL booth, not this rec center piece of plywood. Call the carpenters tomorrow.

Hanson: Yes sir!

Vinegar: Hey, you never do a damn thing I ask you to do.

Hanson: You’re not a certified Lord.

Moss: He’s got you there, Mister Hastlings is indeed certifiable.

Vinegar: There’s the bell, but it doesn’t look like Owen is in any rush to get this match underway.

Moss: Don’t let his timidity fool you, he is a wily ring general. I mean, after all, he holds a major pay per view victory over The Lord of Pain.

Hastings: Niglet?

Hanson: At least he has hair.

Hastings: Nice burn.

Vinegar: Referee Hazel East not letting her fellow official leave the ring, telling him this is a sanctioned match. Dennis Mitchell playing sentry on the outside.

Moss: When are those crazy kids going to finally tie the noose? The DotCom crowd wants to know

Hanson: You still waste time on those stupid message boards, even without the fake title belt?

Moss: I know, it’s like I’m pining for something. Something long lost. Something that’s just out of my grasp, hell it may even be driving me a little bit batty. At least I still have a picture of it.

Vinegar: Heh.

Hastings: I could train my niglet to capture that belt. If he even obtained just my pinky’s worth of skill and ability, it would be within his grasp in a week.

Moss: Is that so Lord Higgins?

Vinegar: Daniel, I hear the rain in Spain falls mainly on your mother.

Hanson: My mother? Nick, I think this egghead is a bad influence.

Hastings: Niglet number two, go instruct niglet number one that he needs to start wrestling and stop embarrassing me.

Vinegar: Owen Peterson still refusing to engage in any sort of contact with Miss Harding, and the power couple of East and Mitchell, well they seem to enjoy tormenting him.

Hastings: Make a second note, niglet. We’ll have two pink slips to write.

Vinegar: Daniel, you may want to inform your Lord that claiming to be a Co-Champion doesn’t then qualify oneself to hire and fire anyone.

Hanson: There you go again with the whole “claiming” thing. That’s like saying our Lord is not also the officially recognized Chief Nigga of GIW.

Vinegar: I could point out a flaw in that argument.

Moss: Grace is on the move, that’s your mark Nicholas.

Vinegar: Indeed, Miss Harding has grown tired of watching Peterson argue with the lovebirds. She charges at the ropes, front flip, nice athleticism there. She bounces her legs off of that top rope, and catches Peterson on the rebound.

Moss: That would count as a modified ghetto blaster.

Vinegar: I suppose it would, and it has left Peterson laid out flat on the mat.

Hastings: Niglet! I command you to rise!

Vinegar: Now Miss Harding planting her hands down, headstand into a leg drop! She gives Peterson the axe! And placing a pinky on his chest, one two three!

Mitchell: Here is your winner, GRACE HAAARDIIIING!

Moss: Well, I’m not DELUSIONAL enough to think that our match next week will be so easy, but the outcome will be the same. Where you going, champ?

Hastings: I must have words.

Vinegar: You know, I can keep that seat open for you if you want to come down for more matches.

Hanson: Oh no, this is a two-man booth, and it’s not even a booth as our Lord so graciously pointed out…I’m not Kiseragi, I don’t like being double-teamed.

Vinegar: Hastings grabbing Miss Harding inside the ring!

Hanson: And Baldrick takes a break from annoying me to confront him.

Vinegar: Hastings has Grace’s arm, I think he’s threatening to break it. Can he do that?

Hanson: Of course he can, he’s The Lord of Pain and Co-Unified Champion of the World! He could break every bone in her body if he wanted to!

Vinegar: Grace Harding using that acrobatic skill again, flipping backwards to kick at Hastings and break his grip! Now Moss charging forward but Hastings slips out of the ring before he can catch him.

Hanson: No, this is like last week when you said he ran away from Brandon Brown, our Lord is simply exercising his right to be fully prepared before fighting, it’s only fair.

Vinegar: Lets just cut to a commercial...

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Dearest Mickey,
It was so wonderful to see you out there tonight! You really made your mother proud. And your little friend, too. He tries so hard, but of course, no one can be my Mickey. I know you must be hungry after that match, so I fixed some dinner. Just remember to wash your hands well before eating. I shudder to think of the germs on your opponents. They can’t all be perfect like you. Oh, and do remember to tuck your napkin in. Mother isn’t always there to do things for you, sweetie. I also sent your little friend something to drink. After his match, he’s sure to be very thirsty. But no alcohol for you, dear. Alcohol is bad for you, and your mother wants only the best for you. Smile, and remember, mommy’s watching!

Love,
Your Mom

P.S.
You could never be a failure like your lousy sperm donor of a father who can’t even make his goddamn child support payments because he can’t hold down a job. But that’s okay, sweetie, mother loves you just the same.


Mickey Dragon’s eyes narrow as he reads the note, his breath leaving him in a frustrated scream at the end.

“How the fuck does she get in? Who is she? Goddammit I’m going crazy!” he rants and raves, pacing the locker room floor.

“This has to end,” he mumbles to himself, noticing some of the guys peering warily around the corner at him from the shower room. Obliviously KvK enters, fresh from his match, towel wrapped around his waist. He walks over to his locker, whistling, then stops short, sniffing the air.

“What is that smell?” He turns, following his nose to the table where a covered plate rests alongside a tall glass of milk, plastic wrap firmly in place over the top. Mickey stops pacing to glare at him, but KvK just grunts at him and lifts the lid from the plate, curious as to what lies underneath. His eyes and nose are greeted with the succulent aroma and wonderful sight of fresh home cooked meatloaf, green beans mixed with bacon, and a buttery roll. KvK starts to salivate.

“Hey man, uh, I can see you’re upset so I’ll just take this off your hands for you,” he says, reaching for the silverware wrapped neatly in the napkin alongside the plate.

“The hell you will, if I have to read this shit I can at least enjoy the fucking food,” Mickey snarls at him before smiling.

“She did leave something for you, though.”

“Really? Aww, thanks mom!” KvK looks around excitedly, searching for his goodies.

Mickey points underneath the table, and KvK’s face falls as he glances down to see a six-pack of Zima this time. His face turns red and he glares at Mickey.

“Goddamn bitch has got to be stopped I tell you!” he fumes, kicking the six-pack over and stalking away, leaving Mickey to glare at the note and food, a muscle twitching in the side of his head.

Vinegar: How do you think he’ll go about stopping her, whoever she is?

Hanson: My interest in the man with no moves is slowly tiring I’m afraid, so anyone willing to screw with him has my backing, so I hope he tries whatever it was that lead to ‘The Cyclone’ planting him out cold on the canvas, to her.

Vinegar Well we’ve got the final match of the night featuring The Covenant, say what you like about their methods, they seem to be slowly taking over every corner of GIW...

Hanson: Apart from the main event...

Vinegar: Well surely it’s only a matter of time.

Hanson: I guess if Alex Kiseragi and Randy Boolzian are considered main eventers, it’s no longer that exclusive a club, so I guess it’s conceivable one of that Circus of Freaks makes the step up, just to get ebaten down again by ‘The Blessed One’ and ‘The Lord Chief’, the Co-Undispu...

Vinegar: Moving On! The next match should be an interesting one, Dirge, a man who’s every move is a literal finisher...

Hanson: Really? Surely that means it should only take one of his regular moves...unless he executes them poorly.

Vinegar: I have it on the highest authority that he executes them perfectly.

Hanson: then why don’t his matches last for just one move? It doesn’t make sense...

Vinegar: indeed it doesn’t...

Hanson: hold on, have we got a referee?

Vinegar: We should have...

Hanson: It was meant to be Peterson? Ya think he’s back on the crack?

Vinegar: he was just involved in a...well, a match up...maybe he’s in no state to wrestle...

Dennis: Ladies and Gentlemen, as the two highly insightful members of the colour commentary team have just pointed out, Owen Peterson is unavailable to referee the coming contest...

‘Kickstart my Heart’

Dennis: Introducing the Special Guest Referee for this match, from Albion, Indiana, BRRRRRAAAAAAAAANDON BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWN!!!!

Vinegar: I thought I saw Owen approach him after his interview with Roxy. And the fans going wild, they have a second fix of Brandon Brown...stepping in to replace Owen Peterson at the last minute.

Hanson: He’s gonna screw Declan, I can see it now, SUPERKICK! BAM!

Vinegar: I think you’ll find it was usually Declan doing the screwing, and besides it’s obvious after his interview, Brandon is out here to keep an eye on the guys from The Covenant...

Hanson: That’s just his cover story, he’s a weasel of a man...

“The One You Love to Hate”

Dennis: Introducing first, from Las Vegas, Nevada, DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRGE!!!

Vinegar: And there he is, The Momentum Killer, Dirge appearing on under the GlobaTron for the first time tonight, Brandon stands in the middle of the ring, his eyes locked upon the biggest member of The Covenant as he walks down the aisle with an unshakable confidence and arrogant look on his face.

Hanson: Which seems out of place seeing as his plan earlier in the night didn’t go down too well.

Vinegar: I imagine he’s pretty philosophical about it, after all what can you do if your tag partner is partnered up with what might as well have been a crash test dummy?

Hanson: Fair point.

Dirge now in the ring, and Brandon doesn’t take his eyes off of him.

‘The Air That I Breathe’

Dennis: And his opponent, from Sydney, Australia...DEEEEEEEEECLAAAAAAAN PREEEEEEESCOOOOOOOOTT!!!!

Vinegar: Declan stumbles onto the stage and almost immediately shades his eyes from the lights with his arms, he looks in a bad state. His face showing signs of stubble, and he is ambling down the ramp whilst adapting himself to the light. He seems hung over...

Hanson: How dare you say such a thing...

Vinegar: I was being kind; he looks like he’s on one hell of a comedown!

Hanson: Don’t be ridiculous, he’s obviously in the tough stages of formulating his plan to return himself to power and reunite The Revolution, he’s probably barely sleeping until he gets it right, and everything is just perfect.

Vinegar: Ye-e-ah that’s exactly what it is. Declan has finally made his way to the ring and he slides in and uncomfortably raises himself up to the corner... The look on Brandon’s face tells the whole story, he is looking Declan up and down, and he is just shocked to see ‘The Significant Player’ in such a condition, it is almost as if he doesn’t really care...

Hanson: Of course he cares...CHEATING SCUM

Vinegar: Dirge striking before the bell by grabbing Declan Prescott and hitting him with a gut wrench suplex, and then dragging him to his feet and whipping him against the ropes, before planting his Big Boot in Prescott’s face, and the still stunned Brandon finally calls for the bell to officially start this...

Hanson: And that cheating Dirge, picks up the closest thing to a Messiah wrestling has, and executes a Double Underhook Sit Out Reverse Piledriver...and covers...

...

Vinegar: Not even one, Declan kicks straight out, and is on his feet remarkably quickly, before leaning against the ropes to regain his breath,

Hanson: And as Dirge rises to his knee’s ‘The Significant Player’ leans back on the ropes, and springs off launching a toe punt into the temple of Dirge’s skull, sending ‘The Momentum Killer’ dropping to the ground...

Vinegar: And rather than attempt a cover, he jumps on top of his opponent and starts gouging his eyes before Brandon has to pull him off...that was remarkably more like Peter Damascus’ behaviour than that which we associate with Declan Prescott....

Hanson: I don’t see the link...

Vinegar: Of course you don’t. Brandon forcing Declan to allow Dirge back on his feet, and then lets both men back at one another, and they lcok up, Declan taking the advantage and slips behind the Nevada Nightmare, and forces him to the floor, and locks on a headlock with some fluent mat work. That’s more like the Declan we know...

Hanson: I still don’t see what you’re talking about...

Vinegar: No-one expects you too. Dirge slowly crawls to the ropes, and grabs hold of the bottom one, and Brandon breaks Declans hold, Declan attempts to bite the ear of Dirge, but is foiled as Brandon restrains his head. More bizarre behaviour from ‘The Heart and Soul of GIW’, and Brandon takes him into the corner and he gives him a talking too...

Hanson: but Dirge now on his feet, shows his utter contempt for the rules and drags Brandon away by his shoulder and then goes to strike Declan...

Vinegar: But Brandon grabs hold of his hand, and spins him around, before warning ‘The Monster’ not to lay his hands on him again, Dirge chuckles and turns...

Hanson: SIGNIFICANT IMPACT!

Vinegar: RAENIUS FROM OUT OF THE CROWD....RIPPERSNAPPER TO BRANDON!

Hanson: Has he been there since Brandon kicked him earlier?

Vinegar: I don’t know...but he’s not finished with Brandon, and The Resident Evil picks up ‘GIWS Most Resilient Athlete’and slams him to the ground...and look at this Declan has rolled from the ring, and he’s heading off backstage...

Hanson: Well the referee just got attacked, I guess you’d call that a no contest, why would he stay around, and why the hell would he help Brandon, Brown wouldn’t have helped him...

Vinegar: I’m not sure that’s true....but now Dirge and Raenius standing opposite sides of Brandon as he gets to his feet...VAE VICTUS!

Hanson: Vicious double gore from The Covenant, and maybe Brandon will think twice before badmouthing them in front of a camera...

Vinegar: Declan finally rwching the surtain, as Raenius and Dirge just stand over Brandon, Dirge laughing loudly, then through the curtain, at high speed comes Alex Kiseragi!

Hanson: ha Ha, he;s never been a fan of Brandon, he’s here to get his chance at a kicking....

Vinegar: I don’t think so, and he slides into the ring and both Raenius and Dirge quickly spill out, and head up the ramp, backwards towards the GlobaTron...A-Kis keeps his eyes fixed on both men as he helps Brandon to his feet, and Brown looks at Alex with a surprised look, before his eyes turn their attention to Dirge and Raenius, as they both stand beneath the GlobaTron with their hands raised high in the air...I think something may have just started here...

Hanson: Good timing with a PPV coming up just next week...

Vinegar: Indeed, the Main Event is next, don’t go away!

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: It’s time for our main event!

Hanson: Whoo! About time.

Vinegar: Are you excited by any chance?

Hanson: Oh course I am. Haven’t I been going on about it all show?

Vinegar: I don’t know, I zone you out.

Hanson: Well I can’t remember but it sounds like something I’d do.

Vinegar: Well you’re getting Travis Roberts and Donovan Hastings at the same time on the same side. Should I fetch you some man size tissues?

Hanson: Yeah, I could almost cry.

Vinegar: Cry…yeah…that’ll be why.

Hanson: What’re you insinuating?

Vinegar: If you can’t figure it out I probably shouldn’t tell you.

Hanson: Fine. That’s not going to bug me at all.

Vinegar: Of course not. Why should it?

Hanson: No reason. No reason at all.

Vinegar: Exactly.

Hanson: Exactly.

The newsie extra appears at the top of a darkened stage, slams his clapperboard with a proud cry of “Action”. Sparks rain off the Globaltron as the Dark of the Matinee starts to play. The crowd cheer wildly for the returning superstar. Moss Edwards walks out to the stage followed by a slightly ruffled Grace Harding.

Dennis: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is your main event! Introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by Grace Harding. From Hollywood, California, weighing in at 180lbs! The Auteuuuuuuur, Moss Edwaaaaaaaaards!!!

Vinegar: The fans happy to see the return of the Auteur to American soil. We haven’t seen him since scoring that final fall in Team MJ’s decisive victory over Team Boss P at Break for the Border.

Hanson: If they’re excited about that, wait for-

Vinegar: Oh save it.

Moss makes his way to the ring, taking a little extra time to film fans than usual. Eventually he passes the camera to Grace and slides into the ring. As he removes his entrance gear his music cuts to the crowd pleasing sound of cans opening and lighters igniting. Wonder What’s Next hit’s the speakers.

Dennis: And his tag team partner! From Oceanside, California, weighing in at 220lbs! The Red Bull Icon, Randy Boolziaaaaaaaan!!!

BoolZ struts out to an ever so slightly greater ovation then the man before. He pauses for another swig and a drag before walking down the ramp. As he gets to the bottom he passes his drink and the last of his cigarette to Grace who looks at it unimpressed and stubs it out on the floor. BoolZ climbs up the steps and into the ring.

Vinegar: You have to wonder how well these men can work together. I’m sure there’s been some friction stemming from a certain young lady in their midst.

Hanson: Yeah, that and they’re facing off for the Global heavyweight Title in a week.

Vinegar: Um, they’re not.

Hanson: What? Of course they are.

Vinegar: Do you not pay attention or do you have a memory like a sieve?

Hanson: Bit of both probably.

Vinegar: Well I’m not explaining it again.

BoolZ and Moss shake hands as they wait for their opponents. Immortal starts to play and fans boo loudly. Hastings walks out carrying his fake title belt which he holds proudly aloft.

Dennis: And the opponents, introducing first, from Hartford, Connecticut, weighing in at 230lbs! The GIW paper champion!

Hanson: Oh no he didn’t!

Vinegar: I’m pretty sure he did.
Dennis: The Deluded! Donovaaaaaan Haaaaastings!!!

Hanson: Nick I have half a mind to kick that guys ass myself.

Vinegar: You only have half a mind, period.

Hanson: Why I oughta!

Hastings heads towards the ring, seemingly oblivious to the terrible introduction he was given and most likely just hearing what he wanted anyway. He walks down to the bottom of the ramp and waits. His music too fades out as Bummer starts to play to a more mixed crowd reaction. Travis walks out to the top of the ramp, Unified title belt across his shoulder.

Dennis: And his tag team partner! From Phoenix, Arizona, weighing in at 220lbs! The GIW Heavyweight Champioooooon! The Blessed One, Travis Roberrrrrts!!!

Hanson: *cheers*

Travis struts his way down to the ring until he’s level with his partner. They nod to each other before charging the ring together and sliding in. BoolZ and Moss casually drop to the floor as Blessed Immortality pose on opposite turnbuckles with their respective belts.

Vinegar: I’ve always thought these two would be more convincing as a genuine tag team if they would actually enter together.

Hanson: Then these people would only be blessed with half the time of their magnificent arrival.

Vinegar: I think it has more to do with an inability for either to even think of sharing the limelight.

Hanson: They don’t have to. There’s more limelight for these two then the rest of the roster put together.

Vinegar: Have to wonder how well these two can work together tonight as well.

Hanson: What? Blessed Immortality have only ever been the pinnacle of teamwork and co-operation.

Vinegar: That may have been before Hastings smashed Travis’s face in in Mexico, organised him a donkey ride over the border and denied that Travis had ever defeated him.

Hanson: I don’t think the Headliner will hold a grudge. He’s a bigger man than that.

Vinegar: I wouldn’t put money on it. Seems like we’re finally ready to get this one going though. Looks like we’re going to see Moss and Donovan starting off. There’s the bell and Hastings quickly tries to lock up with the Auteur but he’s too quick and rolls past him. Moss quickly back up and able to put in an arm wringer before Hastings can react.

Hanson: Ok, if Moss wants to play technical with the Lord of Pain he must be spending too much time around FoolZ.

Vinegar: The Auteur is a more than capable technical wrestler.

Hanson: Which is why The Lord Chief has just countered with an arm wringer of his own.

Vinegar: Moss doesn’t seem too worried though as he rolls onto his back. Kips back up to his feet and takes Hastings over with an arm drag. Hastings quickly to his feet and takes a dropkick that sends him back into the corner.

Hanson: And Travis tags himself in. See, he’s willing to help his friend out. There’s no trouble here.

Vinegar: We’ll see about that as the match goes on. The Headliner in the ring now and Moss quickly circling the ring. The Auteur shoots for a takedown but gets put down with a drop toe hold. Travis off the ropes, running elbow drop gets nothing but mat as Moss springs back up.

Hanson: I just thought of a great new match!

Vinegar: I’m thrilled I assure you. Travis sits up and has the Auteur flip over him, snapping his neck back as he goes. Tag made to BoolZ. The Red Bull Icon in and dragging up the stunned Headliner.

Hanson: Stunned! Will you never learn?

Vinegar: Irish whip, Travis sent running and bounces back into a back elbow from BoolZ. Randy springboards off the middle rope. Moonsault- No, Travis rolls away but BoolZ lands on his feet.

Hanson: But anyway, my match. I call it a ball and chain match. It’d be Travis vs. one of these poncy high flyers, but they have a ball and chain around their foot. Then we see how well they can fight like proper men.

Vinegar: That’d be the stupidest thing anyone else ever said, but for you it’s just another utterance. Travis has rolled out to the floor and is headed back around to his own corner. He just climbed back up on the apron and tagged Hastings in for him.
Hanson: Brilliant move! That’s how you take away someone’s momentum.

Vinegar: Yeah a great display of running away by the Unified Champion. The Lord of Pain back in the ring and it looks like BoolZ wants to test strength.

Hanson: Another typically Boolzian decision.

Vinegar: Hastings seems happy to oblige- oh but just takes a forearm shot instead, BoolZ opening up and drives him back to the corner. Hastings with no choice but to just cover up and Glenn Burke steps in to separate them.

Hanson: So he should, there’s no need for such animalistic behaviour.

Vinegar: And as soon as a gap opens up Hastings rakes the eyes. Cheap shot from the Lord Chief. He runs out of the corner and clotheslines The Red Bull Icon to the mat.

Hanson: They may have got lucky early on but this ones fully back in the hands of Blessed Immortality now.

Vinegar: Hastings dragging BoolZ back to his feet. Makes the tag in to Travis and holds him open for the Headliner to put a boot into the gut. Travis surely looking to soften the Red Bull Icon up as much as possible before next week.

Hanson: Your blasphemy never ends. The Blessed One wants his opponents at no less than one hundred percent before any match.

Vinegar: I would like to site the incident of August 30th 2008. The Headliner attacks Komosube with a fire extinguisher, getting disqualified on purpose just to injure his knee.

Hanson: You remembered the exact date.

Vinegar: Yes, it’s my thing.

Hanson: Nerd.

Vinegar: Your unwillingness to address the point is noted. Travis landing some clubbing blows to the back of Randy Boolzian and lays his throat across the middle rope. He’s got a leg across his back and pulling the rope up into a blatant illegal choke.

Hanson: It’s not illegal. Travis Roberts is the law.

Vinegar: I think you’re thinking of Judge Dread.

Hanson: Dredd’s a judge now!?

Vinegar: No- oh never mind. Glenn Burke counts to four and Travis breaks the hold. He’s got a rear waist lock and draws Boolz away from the ropes. German suplex, bridging pin!

1!

2!

Vinegar: No, BoolZ able to power out. He’s in a bad way though. Travis has got him back up and dragging him back to the corner again.

Hanson: Quick tags, it’s all about quick tags. Blessed Immortality working like a well oiled machine.

Vinegar: Travis makes the tag and locks in a full nelson. Hastings unloads with those body shots and Travis punctuates it with a big full nelson slam. The Lord Chief gets Boolz back onto his feet, Irish whip to the ropes. Spinebuster on the rebound, float over, Hands of Fate!

Hanson: The Lord Chief’s best hold! This ones over.

Vinegar: Moss seems to disagree, getting in to break it up. Burke’s sending him back to the corner and Travis quick to take advantage. Both men in and they’ve got BoolZ onto his feet again. Double suplex in the middle of the ring.

Hanson: After having to cheer for him last week, it sure feels good to see BoolZ getting beaten down like a dog.

Vinegar: Travis now being sent back to his corner and Hastings taking advantage of another distraction to wrap his hands around RBI’s throat. The referee turns back and breaks it though.

Hanson: The Lord Chief is innocent. He must be, he’s holding his hands up.

Vinegar: Like that’s fooling anyone. Hastings pulling BoolZ back up. Another Irish whip sends him running. Clothesline, ducked by Boolzian. Twisted Steele! Big counter as BoolZ comes off the middle rope with that springboard shoulder block. Both men are down.

Hanson: It’s going to take more than a shoulder block to keep the Lord Chief down for long.

Vinegar: Doesn’t need to be long, just long enough. Moss is reaching in for the tag. BoolZ leaps for it. There’s the tag, Moss is in at Hastings gets to his feet. Ducks a clothesline from the Immortal and dropkicks Travis off the apron. Back elbow catches Hastings behind him. Shiranui! Drops Hastings on his head. Pin attempt.

1!

2!

Vinegar: No, Hastings kicks out. Another momentum shift and The Auteur in control. Whips Hastings into their corner. Connects with the Fade Out. Tag to BoolZ. Another whip across the ring. Moss with a stinger splash in the corner. BoolZ with the No Fly Zone!

Hanson: Nick we’re just getting word from backstage.

Vinegar: I can hear it too. Report from the medical staff is that Jack Severino’s injuries will sideline him indefinatly.

Hanson: Woohoo!

Vinegar: I wish you wouldn’t sound so gleeful, this is a human being we’re talking about.

Hanson: A human being who won’t be giving my Gabby any loving for along time. Thanks Lord Chief!

Vinegar: You can thank him later, right now he seems busy being beaten up by the Red Bull Icon. Both men on their feet again. Irish whip by BoolZ, lariat ducked by Hastings on the rebound. Both men go for the clothesline on the return and go down hard.

Hanson: Travis is back on the apron after that sucker dropkick. He looks fresh and eager too.

Vinegar: Both men in the ring on their knees. Tags at both ends! Travis and Moss are in. They meet in the middle, both men unleashing furious barrages of strikes. Moss seems to get the upper hand. Snaps off a hurricanrana! Headed to the top rope and Travis gets back to his feet. Missile dropkick! Cover!

1!

2!

Vinegar: No, kick out by the Headliner. The Auteur picking him up though, Irish whip-

Hanson: Reversed by Travis!

Vinegar: Moss off the ropes. Kick to the back! Hastings from the apron kicks Moss right in the back. BoolZ doesn’t look too happy about it. He’s just stormed the ring. Spear! He just speared Hastings through the ropes and both men fly out to the floor.

Hanson: Travis puts that huge boot straight through Moss’s face! That kick turned him inside out! Utterly brutal!

Vinegar: Travis with the cover.

1!


2!


3!

Ding! Ding!

Dennis: Here are your winners, Donovan Hastings and Travis Roberrrrrrts!!!

Hanson: Another dominant victory for Blessed Immortality.

Vinegar: I wouldn’t call in dominant as much as lucky. Donovan Hastings sure doesn’t look like a winner right now. That tackle crushed him and he hasn’t got back to his feet yet.

BoolZ gets back to his feet outside the ring while Travis stands over Moss inside. BoolZ shouts something we can’t here but can get the gist of as he makes a belt gesture around his waist.

Vinegar: We’re only one week away from Toxic Intent where these two men will do battle once again for the Unified Global Title! It promises to be a barn burner! You’re not gonna wanna miss it!

The show fades out to title as the two continue their war of words, Travis holding his belt in the ring as BoolZ backs up the ramp.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Credits

‘Diamond’ Jacks Attack and Opening Hype
T-Rob

Mitch vs Chassie
Nikko

Mickey’s Letter
Your Mom

Everknight vs Cappeli
Hastings

Hastings Explanation/Headshots
Moss & Hastings

Raenius & KvK vs Brandon Brown and JK
T-Rob

Brandon & Roxy
T-Rob

Triple Threat Match
Josch

Grace Harding vs Owen Peterson
Moss

Mickey’s Second Letter
Your Mom

Declan vs Dirge
T-Rob

Main Event
A-Kis

Editor
T-Rob