Toxic Intent Results

T-Robosaurus Rex
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Toxic Intent Results Jul 22, 2009 15:09:52 GMT -5

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Post by T-Robosaurus Rex on Jul 22, 2009 15:09:52 GMT -5

The scene opens live from the heart of the Staples Center as the fans go crazy, and camera flashes and mobile phones videoing proceedings light up the arena. After a moment the lights rise on the stage, which is designed as two huge Metal Barrels with radioactive logo’s upon them....they both tip inwards and illuminous green liquid pours from them down behind the stage, and at the moment you would imagine it hits the floor....the entire stage erupts into green and red pyrotechnics...

Vinegar: WELCOME ONE AND ALL! THIS....IS....TOXIC INTENT 2009!!! GIW’S FIRST PAY-PER-VIEW SINCE AFFIRMATIVE ACTION IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA....AND IT’S GOOD TO BE BACK!

Hanson: Though the women are more expensive here than anywhere else we visited...

Vinegar: Ignore my colleague, every guy on the roster is pumped up for this event, it’s been too long, March was the last Pay-Per-View on these shores...

Hanson: And Kiseragi headlined that one, so it was hardly a real Pay-Per-View was it? Hang on, BoolZ is headlining this one isn’t he?

Vinegar: Alongside Travis Robert in a match to determine the Unified Global Champion...

Hanson: Travis’ inclusion goes without saying; once again ‘The Headliner’ is going to have to single handidly carry a main event...but I can’t say I don’t enjoy seeing him make Randy Boolzian look foolish, that’s worth the price of the whole Pay-Per-View on it’s own...

Vinegar: The Tag Titles and the GIW.com are also on the line tonight, Brandon Brown and Alex Kiseragi putting past differences aside to put up a united front against the Covenant! And Michael Cappeli looks to reclaim the GIW.com Title in a Falls Count Anywhere match against William Everknight.

Hanson: And Declan Prescott is gonna qualify for the Battleground match in the Battle Royale...

Vinegar: Thats if he can get past ‘The Cyclone’ JK, Serapis, KvK and Mickey Dragon...

Hanson: IF? You speak about the Significant Player like he’s Andy Savana or something, he’s not just a legend because he’s been around since day one, it’s because he’s a formidable opponent...

Vinegar: Who seems to be going through some lifestyle challenge’s, that make me wonder his ability to compete on the same level...

Hanson: Well you’re a moron, you probably think Nikko Nulty Nathans will be able to beat Chassie Fear tonight as well..

Vinegar: Anything is possible at a GIW PPV.

Hanson: And if all that wasn’t enough, The Lord Chief is also in action....and he’s gonna show everyone why Moss Edwards is an over rated piece of chump change in comparison to Blessed Immortality!

Vinegar: But before we head for the first match, it seems Mickey Dragon has received yet another letter from...

Hanson: His Momma!

Vinegar: Indeed, and for some reason the producers have deemed it worth looking at, so let’s go backstage!

Dearest Mickey,
Tonight is the big night, dear. I know you will make mother proud. I wanted to make sure you got this before your match and to leave a little surprise for you. You know how I do like to spoil you. Anyway, imagine my surprise when dropped by to leave your goodies and found three slutacious females in various stages of undress, each posing on articles of furniture awaiting your arrival. I can tell you they were surprised to see me, as well they should be. The nerve! Sneaking into your private areas like that! A man’s home is his castle, and while a locker room isn’t a home it is a sanctuary. I knew you would appreciate the alone time, so I shooed the shameless hussies out the door and admonished them not to come back, and that you didn‘t like women like them. I can almost see the gratitude on your face. A few other things, Mickey… I saw you went on a date with your little friend, KvK. While I am still supportive if this is your decision, dear, I do wish you would find someone else for your extracurricular activities. He seems to be a bad influence. However, as I don’t want him to feel left out and cause troubles between you, I brought him something special as well. I know how he likes my surprises too. Remember, mommy’s watching!

Love,
Your Mom

P. S.
You don’t want to wind up like your piece of shit, no child-support paying, lowlife, small dick father, so be a good boy and listen to what that nice Dr. Torres has to say and be sure to take your medicine. A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down in the most delightful way!

Mickey’s face remains blank while reading the note, the only clue as to his emotions is the muscle twitching at the side of his head, the muscle that seems to twitch more and more frequently as he reads on. His body almost shaking with the barely-restrained fury, he turns slowly, note in hand, to see the signs and balloons the strippers had left in their hasty departure. Spying something black and lacy on the floor, he stoops to pick up what turns out to be a bra with a rather large cup size. Their perfume still lingered in the air, adding credence to the story in the letter. His eyes scan the room looking for more clues. All is quiet except for his heavy, angry breathing. This was not boding well for the show. He had been in a rather pleasant mood, well pleasant for him anyways, when he showed up at the arena, but that had all ended when he set foot in the locker room and saw… the cupcake tree.

It was a towering, silver monstrosity, its circular orifices giving it up to a mountain of cupcakes complete with chocolate frosting and rainbow sprinkles. Rainbow sprinkles. What the fuck. The other guys on the roster start to stroll in, some pausing to sniff the air, the scent of eau de hooker and cupcakes mixing and causing a variety of reactions. Most see Mickey’s face and decide to back off, but a few decide to brave his stormy countenance for one of those scrumptious looking treats of delectable goodness.
“Aye, lad, smells like sex and cupcakes in here,” Raenius shouts happily as he pops his head in the door and then just as quickly pops back out, seeing Mickey’s face.

Mickey’s screams of anger as he tears the room apart send the remaining few off into the showers, clutching the few ill-gotten prizes and hauling ass.

“Hey there, ho there, sunshine,” KvK quips as he strolls into the locker room, bags in hand and shades on. He whistles low as he looks around at the damage done before looking back at Mickey’s red and angry face.

“I take it there was another letter?”

Mickey answers by erupting into a scream of rage and throwing a table over, the letter still clutched in his hand.

“She’s driving me fucking crazy!” he roars to no one in particular.

“Short drive there, buddy,” KvK can’t help but slip in, holding up his hands when Mickey turns on him.

“Whoa there, buddy, what are you so upset for? Look, cupcakes. What the fuck, rainbow sprinkles?” So saying, KvK picks up one of the cupcakes, examining it closely, picking at the rainbow sprinkles and flicking them off, unknowingly, or seemingly unknowingly, doing so at a very irate Mickey Dragon. Once all of the offending sprinkles are removed, he pulls the bright and shiny star wrappers from around his delectable offering and proceeds to take a bite. His eyes widen in surprise.

“Dude, peanut butter mousse filling! Holy fuck that’s good! You gotta try one of these, man, it’ll calm you down,” KvK rambles on, staring at the cupcake like he is in love. Mickey Dragon just watches him in disbelief before shaking his head and smirking at him.

“Well, no worries, there ol’ buddy, she left something for you too.”

KvK gets a worried look on his face as Mickey pulls out not one but two glass pitchers full of a clear liquid and places them on a table carelessly, some of the liquid sloshing out. KvK moves forward hesitantly, almost as if approaching a snake. He leans forward and sniffs at the unknown substance, yanking his head back, his face turning red and twitchy, matching Mickey’s from moments before.

“Fucking Zima! It’s full of that shit! Goddammit all to hell,” he screams, grabbing one of the pitchers and throwing it at a wall, effectively shattering it. Shards of glass and Zima fly all over the place, the wall dripping with the liquid. A splat sounds as the half-eaten once-glorified cupcake joins its companion offering and slides down the wall leaving a chocolately trail like a slug in its wake. Unsatisfied with this display, KvK pulls out his trusty claw hammer, from who knows where, and bashes the other pitcher of Zima into oblivion, obviously enjoying the violence of it all and imagining a certain maternal figure in its place.

“NO MORE FUCKING ZIMA!” he roars, punctuating each word with a blow from the hammer. He turns to Mickey, the rage clear on his face.

“This bitch is fucking with us and I’m sick of this shit! I’m going to find out who the fuck this is and I’m going to do it now!” And so saying, KvK storms out, claw hammer in hand.

“Good luck, motherfucker,” Mickey calls to him, staring at the trashed area of the locker room. He walks over to the cupcakes with a sigh and selects one, staring at it momentarily.

“This bitch will be stopped tonight.” He makes the promise to himself as he undresses the cupcake and takes a bite, the surprise showing in his eyes.

“Ooooh peanut butter.”

Hanson: "May Roberts' soul go to a better place, free of chunky Asians, who do flips."

T-Robosaurus Rex
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Posts: 3,292

Toxic Intent Results Jul 22, 2009 15:10:11 GMT -5

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Post by T-Robosaurus Rex on Jul 22, 2009 15:10:11 GMT -5

“Layla” by Eric Clapton hits, as Nikko Nulty Nathans just walks out to the ring. The fans cheer loudly, as he heads down the ramp.

Dennis: Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to welcome you to GIW Toxic Intent 2009! Your first contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Houston, Texas and weighing 189 pounds… NIKKO NULTY NAAAAAAAAAAAAATHANS!!!!!

Hanson: The fuck does his name even mean?

Vinegar: Surely we must have discussed this at some point over the last month.

Hanson: I dunno, I don’t pay that much attention to matches.

Vinegar: Then what the hell are you being paid for?!

Hanson: No, this is P speaking through me, OOC style.

Vinegar: I hate when they do that! Makes me feel like I’m being molested by the Puppet Master.

Hanson: Pretty sure even the Puppet Master wouldn’t stoop low enough for you, Nick. Anyways, here comes Chassie!

The lights cut to black and red and white strobe lights alternate in beat with the rapid music as “Cyanide Sweet Tooth Suicide” Starts to play. Chassie walks swiftly onto the stage, looking at the people for a moment, then as the lyrics hit she descends the ramp, breaking into a run about halfway down.

Dennis: And the opponent, representing The Covenant, from some hillbilly village she was probably too ashamed to claim as a hometown, weighing 120 pounds, she is The Dark Rose… CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSIE FEAR!!!!!!

When she reaches the ring she jumps, grabbing the top rope and springing herself up, flipping in the air and landing on her feet. She runs to a random turnbuckle and plants her feet on the corners of the middle turnbuckle, throwing up the horns and head banging briefly.

Hanson: Alright, there’s the bell as Chas returns to the mat. Time to show that Skinny wannabe who’s boss!

Vinegar: Nikko certainly has his work cut out for him, here tonight. Chassie is an experienced veteran, who knows exactly what it takes to get the job done. Nikko is some kid, who has trouble managing his fly. But his heart is in the right place and no one can deny that.

Hanson: That’s only until Chas punches it right out of his body, though. They lock up, Nick!

Vinegar: Chas takes the upper hand and applies a headlock for a few seconds, before tossing Nikko into the corner. She then smacks the green right off his chest with a sharp knife hand, sending him tumbling to the canvas. Nikko didn’t like that one and now Chas boots him right in the face and Nulty goes rolling out of the ring and crashing hard to the floor. Not a great start for the young up and com… well, for the young man.

Hanson: ‘Nikko’ sounds a bit like ‘nigga’, don’t ya think? Or have we discussed that, too?

Vinegar: NO TIME, DANIEL! CHAS DIVING OVER THE TOP ROPE AND CRUSHING NIKKO WITH A BODY SPLASH! DID YOU SEE THE HEIGHT SHE GOT ON THAT?! MUST HAVE BEEN SOME TEN FEET! AND ALL HER MOMENTUM CAME CRASHING DOWN RIGHT ON NIGGA – I MEAN NIKKO!

Hanson: She’s just showing off now, though it seems that dive hurt her a bit. Don’t overdo it, Chas! You don’t even have to break a sweat to beat this kid!

Vinegar: She’s clutching her stomach, but rolls back into the ring. Now raising her arms, demonstrating she’s okay. Can’t really say the same for Nikko… Poor boy, looks in bad shape and we’re barely a minute into this match. Peterson has restarted his count and he’s up to three. But now Chas is yelling at Nikko, telling him to get up. She’s asking if that’s all he can take!

Hanson: And I think Nikko’s lack of any sort of response can be viewed as a resounding ‘yes’. The kid is toast!

Vinegar: NO! He’s pulling himself up, using the canvas. Rolling back into the ring. Look in his eyes, Dan! He’s furious! He springs back up! IT’S ON LIKE DONKEY KONG, MY GOD!!!!

Hanson: And Chas is smiling! She’s not done punking this kid out just yet. And if he’s willing to take more abuse, why should she be?

Vinegar: And Chas looking for another lock up… BUT NIKKO DROPKICKS HER RIGHT IN THE FACE! CHAS SENT REELING TO THE MAT AND NIKKO SMASHES HER WITH A ROLLING THUNDER!!! NOW GOING UP TOP FOR THE CRASH AND BURN!!! CHASSIE SCRAMBLING DESPERATELY TO HER FEET AND RUNNING FOR SAFETY!

Hanson: That was too close!

Vinegar: Nikko coming back down to the canvas, right into a HUGE running neckbreaker from Chas! The Dark Rose once again in control, but I think that was a wake up call for her. This Nikko has more guts than most people give him credit for. She can’t underestimate this kid!

Hanson: Doesn’t look like that’ll be a problem. She’s hoisting him into a sitting position in the corner. Looking for that running knee strike!

Vinegar: And she connects big time! Nikko hammered into the corner and comes bouncing out! Now he’s laid out in the middle of the ring and BANG! Big lionsault from Chas! She makes the cover! ONE! TWO! THR – NIKKO KICKS OUT! Chassie nodding, she expected that.

Hanson: Yeah, she’s just asserting her dominance here. Sending a message to Nikko. Now she’s pulling him up by the hair. What do you think she’s got planned?!

Vinegar: Looks like a codebreaker! But Nikko counters into a power bomb type manoeuvre! NOW HE’S COVERING CHAS! ONE! TWO! SHE KICKS OUT!

Hanson: And look at that idiot grinning! He thinks he just won some sort of mental battle! All he did was piss her off!

Vinegar: You might be right, as Chas lifts a foot and sends it straight into Nikko’s distracted, smiling jaw. He’s laid out now and Chas is quick back to her feet, so she can kick the heck out of Nathans. Now pulling him up and throwing him face first into one of the turnbuckles. Nikko looks groggy as he stumbles back out AND CHASSIE CONNECTS WITH THE CODEBREAKER! NO REVERSAL THAT TIME! AND NIKKO GOES FLYING THROUGH THE AIR SO HIGH HE GOES THROUGH THE ROPES AND CRASHING TO THE OUTSIDE A SECOND TIME!

Hanson: Well, he ain’t moving again. Chassie not boasting this time though, she’s just pacing back and forth, staring down at that lifeless Nikko. Think he’s made his way onto her bad side, Nick… o!

Vinegar: You ever relate me to that thing again and I’ll stab you in the eye. But back to the match, Peterson is up to four now and Nikko hasn’t stirred. Five… Six… wait, Nathans is finally moving. Oh, it’s only to spit a tooth out that Chas must have kicked loose. Now up to seven…

Hanson: Well, he put up a decent fight. We’ve certainly seen worse here at GIW.

Vinegar: Eight… Nine… NO! CHASSIE CHARGING TO THE OUTSIDE AND PETERSON HAS NO CHOICE, BUT TO RESTART THE COUNT!

Hanson: Guess she wants a dominant victory over Nikko. Dunno why, everyone here already knows she could whoop his ass without the use of her limbs.

Vinegar: She’s pulling up the kid and slamming his face first into the safety barrier. Those fans are getting up close and personal with the demise of Nikko! BAM! She smashes him again! BAM! And again! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! Now what?! She’s taking him to the ring post and CRASH!!!! Nikko’s skull right into that steel! He’s out cold! Peterson screaming at her now! Saying she pulls one more stunt like that and he’ll disqualify her!

Hanson: Chassie doesn’t like that. But she reluctantly rolls Nikko’s corpse back into the ring and then slides in herself. She seems to be thinking now… Probably deciding the best way to annihilate Nikko next.

Vinegar: Seems she’s decided. She’s pulling Nikko up and TWILIGHT!!!! PLANTS NIKKO DEAD IN THE CENTRE OF THE CANVAS!!! SHE COVERS!!! THIS BAD BOY IS OVER! ONE!! TWO!!!! THRE – WHAT?! NIKKO KICKS OUT!!!! THESE FANS ARE GOING BALLISTIC!!!! CHASSIE IS SHELL SHOCKED!!! SHE CAN’T BELIEVE IT!!!! SHE COVERS AGAIN!!!! ONE!!! TWO!!!!! NO!!!!! NIKKO REFUSES TO STAY DOWN!!!!!

Hanson: This is ridiculous! That kid has more guts, than brains. He’d just stay down if he knew what was good for him!!

Vinegar: Having guts is nothing to be ashamed of, Daniel! Nikko is fighting for his dream here! He’s proving that it’s his dream! Chassie is irate! She’s climbing the turnbuckle AND CALLING FOR THE FEARLESS!! BUT IT’S NO GOOD!!! NIKKO IS TO HIS FEET!!!! HE SPITS A HUGE GLOB OF BLOOD RIGHT AT CHASSIE AND IS NOW TELLING HER TO BRING IT ON!!!! MY GOD, THIS MIGHT BE THE BRAVEST KID I’VE EVER SEEN!!!!

Hanson: All the good it’ll do him! Here comes Chassie with a flying clothesline!

Vinegar: But Nikko ducks! Jumps onto the second rope AND COMES BACK WITH A SPRINGBOARD DDT!!! CHASSIE HAS BEEN PLANTED FACE FIRST!!! NOW NIKKO STARING AROUND THE ARENA, SMILING HUGELY! ONE WAY TO GO!!!! HE CONNECTS!!!! ONE!!! WHAT A COME BACK FROM NIKKO!!!!! TWO!!!! A TRUE FAIRYTALE ENDING HERE!!!! THRE – MY GOD, WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!?!! CHASSIE KICKED OUT!!!!!

Hanson: HA! GONNA TAKE MORE THAN THAT TO KEEP THE DARK ROSE DOWN!!!

Vinegar: BUT NIKKO’S NOT DONE YET!!! HE CLIMBS THE TOP ROPE, LOOKING FOR THE CRASH AND BURN!!!! BUT CHAS STRUGGLING TO HER KNEES, GRABS THE TOP ROPE AND SHAKES IT WITH ALL THE STRENGTH SHE CAN MUSTER! IT WORKS AND NIKKO LOSES BALANCE, GOING GROIN FIRST INTO THE TURNBUCKLE!!!

Hanson: That’s gotta hurt… Now Chas regaining her bearings and going after Nikko. HUGE super hurricarana sends Nikko flying back into the ring! That little guy looks pretty out of it now!

Vinegar: He’s bleeding from the mouth, has lost at least one of his teeth and had his doodle and janglies crushed to oblivion. Right now he’s gotta be asking himself if it’s all worth it.

Hanson: I think I know what his answer will be. Chassie kicking him in the ass, while he lies there half dead. I think this one’s finally over.

Vinegar: NOT LIKELY!!! NIKKO GRABS CHAS BY THE ANKLE AND HE’S BITING HER LEG!!!! MY GOD, NIKKO THE ANKLE BITER!! CHASSIE SCREAMING IN SHOCK AND SHE FINALLY MANAGES TO BREAK FREE!!! SHE’S SCRAMBLING ACROSS THE RING AND YELLING AT PETERSON, ASKING IF HE’LL LET NIKKO GET AWAY WITH THAT!!! PETERSON SAYING IT’S NO DIFFERENT FROM WHEN SHE THREW NATHANS INTO THE RING POST!!! THE DARK ROSE IS FURIOUS!!!!

Hanson: Now Chas pulling Nikko up and BANG! Punches him right in the face! Nothing pretty about that, but it sure looks like it hurt!

Vinegar: Chas is bleeding heavily from her ankle after that desperation move from Nikko, but I don't think she cares. She now whips the kid across the ring and hooks him with a MASSIVE jump kick on the rebound! Nikko looks like he just got turned inside out from that one! Now Chassie stomping the holy hell out of Nikko’s face, showing absolutely no mercy! This is a massacre!

Hanson: YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!!!!

Vinegar: IT’S MITCH! MITCH THE JOBBER IS ON THE APRON, CALLING CHASSIE A SKANKY NIGLET!

Hanson: She ain’t in the mood for this…

Vinegar: Certainly not! She grabs Mitch by the throat AND PULLS HIM RIGHT OVER THE ROPES WITH SOME INHUMAN STRENGTH! BOOM! TWILIGHT! MITCH IS OUT! BOOM! TWILIGHT! NIKKO IS OUT TOO!!!

Hanson: Not that he wasn’t already! But now Chas is rolling Mitch out of the ring and HOLY SHIT, TELL ME THAT DIDN’T JUST HAPPEN!!!!

Vinegar: IT DID!!! IT MAY HAVE BEEN NOTHING MORE THAN REFLEX AND BLIND INSTINCT, BUT MITCH JUST DID IT!!! HE JUST PUNCHED CHASSIE RIGHT IN THE FANNY!!!!!

Hanson: THIS ISN’T RIGHT!!!! DISQUALIFY NIKKO AND GIVE MITCH THE LETHAL INJECTION!!!! THIS IS A TRAVESTY!!!!

Vinegar: It was Chassie that pulled Mitch into the ring. He can’t be disqualified for defending himself! And now Chassie has fallen to her knees, both hands clasped over her crotch. I still can’t believe that just happened! In some futile attempt to gain order, Peterson is trying to roll Mitch out of the ring AND HE ONLY GETS A FIST TO HIS DOODLE FOR HIS EFFORTS!!!! MY GOD, NOW PETERSON IS DOWN!!!!

Hanson: THAT MITCH IS A PERVERT!!! I BET IT’S MIDGET AUSTIN IN DISGUISE!!!!!

Vinegar: Well, I think Peterson has passed out from the pain. Chassie on the other hand has clenched her teeth, broken through the pain barrier and returned to her feet. And she looks like some kind of monster right now. As if she could kill someone!

Hanson: Mitch or Nikko… So many choices. But instead she’s leaving the ring. Shit the fuck?!

Vinegar: She’s looking under the canvas… We all know how this goes. SHE’S GOT A STEEL CHAIR! MY GOD, I WOULDN’T WANT TO BE EITHER MITCH OR NIKKO RIGHT NOW!!!!

Hanson: She’s back in the ring, as both Nikko and Mitch are stumbling about, totally out of it.

Vinegar: BOOM! She just crunched that chair over Mitch’s skull and his presence in this match is now zero. He’s already bleeding from that thunderous chair shot!

Hanson: And now there’s nothing standing between Chassie and Nikko! She’s still clutching that crumpled chair and I haven’t seen eyes as scary as hers, since I met Nick’s second wife! Nikko is finished!

Vinegar: You might be right – wait! CHASSIE TOSSING THE CHAIR TO THE CANVAS! SHE WANTS TO FINISH THIS THING FAIR AND SQUARE – WHAT THE HELL?! NIKKO LIKE A DOG PLAYING FETCH GRABBED THE CHAIR AND SMASHED IT RIGHT INTO CHASSIE’S INJURED ANKLE! SHE FALLS TO ONE KNEE AND SMASH!!!! HE JUST POUNDED THAT CHAIR INTO HER SKULL WITH ALL THE FORCE HE POSSESSES!!! SHE’D BE SEEING STARS RIGHT NOW IF HER EYES WEREN’T ROLLING AROUND IN THE BACK OF HER HEAD!!!

Hanson: I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!!! SHE ACTUALLY WANTED TO FINISH THIS MATCH HONOURABLY! BUT NIKKO SPAT RIGHT IN HER FACE! THAT LITTLE WEASEL!!!

Vinegar: AND NOW HE’S ON THE TOP ROPE, AFTER DROPPING THAT CHAIR ACROSS CHASSIE’S MIDSECTION!!! CRASH AND BURN RIGHT INTO THE STEEL!!!! HE TOSSES THE EVIDENCE TO THE SIDE, JUST AS PETERSON RECOVERS!!! COVER!!!! ONE!!!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!!!!! TWO!!!!!! NIKKO HAS NO SHAME!!!!!! THREE!!!!! IT’S OVER!!!! OVER!!!!! NIKKO STEALS THIS ONE AND THIS WHOLE ARENA IS IN SHOCK!!!!!!

Dennis: Your winner, via Peterson being a total bitch… NIKKO NULTY NATHAAAAAAAAAAAANS!!!

Hanson: THIS IS THE BIGGEST TRAVESTY SINCE DREDD WAS CONSIDERED AN UNDISPUTED TITLE CONTENDER!!! CHASSIE ACTUALLY SHOWED NIKKO SOME RESPECT AND HE WIPED HIS NOW DEFORMED ASS WITH IT!!! NICK, DO SOMETHING!!!!

Vinegar: The result is final! There’s nothing I can do! These guys on the other hand…

Hanson: Awwwww yeeeaaah!!!

Vinegar: Dirge, Raenius and Mickey Dragon have appeared on the stage. All making their way down the ramp. These men are all scheduled to compete later on tonight, but it seems they’ve got some business to attend to here, first. Nikko standing in the ring, looking as if he’s about to wet himself. What cost has his victory come at?

Hanson: Raenius looking under the mat, while Dragon and Dirge enter the ring, surrounding Nikko. I’mma likey where this one is heading, Nick!

Vinegar: Dragon going up to the top rope, while Dirge hoists the still battered Nikko onto his shoulders. DESESITIZED AND EUTHANIZED RIGHT ONTO THE CHAIR!!!!! NIKKO MUST BE DEAD!!!!! THIS IS COMPLETELY UNCALLED FOR!!!!

Hanson: Ha! If Nikko can’t handle the heat, he shouldn't be in the kitchen! But Raenius has set up a table on the outside! Oh, it’s only gonna get worse for Nathans. I love it!

Vinegar: Dragon and Dirge dragging Nikko across the ring, as Chassie is beginning to stir. But wait! MITCH IS UP! THE ODDS AREN’T SO UNFAIR NOW!!! MAYBE TOGETHER THEY CAN STAND UP TO THE COV…. Oh, okay…

Hanson: HA! Mitch is running back up the ramp! He took one look at those guys and got the hell out of dodge! Dude is smarter than he looks!

Vinegar: This doesn’t bode well for Nikko, as The Covenant throws him onto the table AND ARE LIGHTING IT ON FIRE WITH NIKKO ON THERE!!!! NOW CHASSIE FROM THE TOP ROPE SMASHES NIKKO THROUGH THE FLAMES WITH THE FEARLESS!!!! MY GOD, NIKKO MUST BE COVERED IN THIRD DEGREE BURNS HERE!!! HE’S BEEN OBLITERATED!!! THIS IS SICK, DAMMIT!!!!

Hanson: Chassie tried showing Nikko some respect, but he made it perfectly clear that he didn't want it. So this is what happens. It’s a message, Nick. You play by The Covenant’s rules or you get burned! And I can guarantee everyone in the back is watching and understands that completely!

Vinegar: They’ve destroyed a man’s life! A man’s dream! Just to send a message?! THIS IS DISGRACEFUL! I HOPE THE REST OF GIW SHOW THESE PIECES OF SHIT THAT THIS WON’T FLY HERE! SOMEONE HAS TO STAND UP TO THEM!!!

Hanson: Well you go and do that. I’ll be right behind ya.

Nikko Nulty Nathans: 10

Chassie Fear: 9

Hanson: "May Roberts' soul go to a better place, free of chunky Asians, who do flips."

T-Robosaurus Rex
Administrator

Posts: 3,292

Toxic Intent Results Jul 22, 2009 15:10:26 GMT -5

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Post by T-Robosaurus Rex on Jul 22, 2009 15:10:26 GMT -5

“Layla” by Eric Clapton hits, as Nikko Nulty Nathans just walks out to the ring. The fans cheer loudly, as he heads down the ramp.

Dennis: Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to welcome you to GIW Toxic Intent 2009! Your first contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Houston, Texas and weighing 189 pounds… NIKKO NULTY NAAAAAAAAAAAAATHANS!!!!!

Hanson: The fuck does his name even mean?

Vinegar: Surely we must have discussed this at some point over the last month.

Hanson: I dunno, I don’t pay that much attention to matches.

Vinegar: Then what the hell are you being paid for?!

Hanson: No, this is P speaking through me, OOC style.

Vinegar: I hate when they do that! Makes me feel like I’m being molested by the Puppet Master.

Hanson: Pretty sure even the Puppet Master wouldn’t stoop low enough for you, Nick. Anyways, here comes Chassie!

The lights cut to black and red and white strobe lights alternate in beat with the rapid music as “Cyanide Sweet Tooth Suicide” Starts to play. Chassie walks swiftly onto the stage, looking at the people for a moment, then as the lyrics hit she descends the ramp, breaking into a run about halfway down.

Dennis: And the opponent, representing The Covenant, from some hillbilly village she was probably too ashamed to claim as a hometown, weighing 120 pounds, she is The Dark Rose… CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSIE FEAR!!!!!!

When she reaches the ring she jumps, grabbing the top rope and springing herself up, flipping in the air and landing on her feet. She runs to a random turnbuckle and plants her feet on the corners of the middle turnbuckle, throwing up the horns and head banging briefly.

Hanson: Alright, there’s the bell as Chas returns to the mat. Time to show that Skinny wannabe who’s boss!

Vinegar: Nikko certainly has his work cut out for him, here tonight. Chassie is an experienced veteran, who knows exactly what it takes to get the job done. Nikko is some kid, who has trouble managing his fly. But his heart is in the right place and no one can deny that.

Hanson: That’s only until Chas punches it right out of his body, though. They lock up, Nick!

Vinegar: Chas takes the upper hand and applies a headlock for a few seconds, before tossing Nikko into the corner. She then smacks the green right off his chest with a sharp knife hand, sending him tumbling to the canvas. Nikko didn’t like that one and now Chas boots him right in the face and Nulty goes rolling out of the ring and crashing hard to the floor. Not a great start for the young up and com… well, for the young man.

Hanson: ‘Nikko’ sounds a bit like ‘nigga’, don’t ya think? Or have we discussed that, too?

Vinegar: NO TIME, DANIEL! CHAS DIVING OVER THE TOP ROPE AND CRUSHING NIKKO WITH A BODY SPLASH! DID YOU SEE THE HEIGHT SHE GOT ON THAT?! MUST HAVE BEEN SOME TEN FEET! AND ALL HER MOMENTUM CAME CRASHING DOWN RIGHT ON NIGGA – I MEAN NIKKO!

Hanson: She’s just showing off now, though it seems that dive hurt her a bit. Don’t overdo it, Chas! You don’t even have to break a sweat to beat this kid!

Vinegar: She’s clutching her stomach, but rolls back into the ring. Now raising her arms, demonstrating she’s okay. Can’t really say the same for Nikko… Poor boy, looks in bad shape and we’re barely a minute into this match. Peterson has restarted his count and he’s up to three. But now Chas is yelling at Nikko, telling him to get up. She’s asking if that’s all he can take!

Hanson: And I think Nikko’s lack of any sort of response can be viewed as a resounding ‘yes’. The kid is toast!

Vinegar: NO! He’s pulling himself up, using the canvas. Rolling back into the ring. Look in his eyes, Dan! He’s furious! He springs back up! IT’S ON LIKE DONKEY KONG, MY GOD!!!!

Hanson: And Chas is smiling! She’s not done punking this kid out just yet. And if he’s willing to take more abuse, why should she be?

Vinegar: And Chas looking for another lock up… BUT NIKKO DROPKICKS HER RIGHT IN THE FACE! CHAS SENT REELING TO THE MAT AND NIKKO SMASHES HER WITH A ROLLING THUNDER!!! NOW GOING UP TOP FOR THE CRASH AND BURN!!! CHASSIE SCRAMBLING DESPERATELY TO HER FEET AND RUNNING FOR SAFETY!

Hanson: That was too close!

Vinegar: Nikko coming back down to the canvas, right into a HUGE running neckbreaker from Chas! The Dark Rose once again in control, but I think that was a wake up call for her. This Nikko has more guts than most people give him credit for. She can’t underestimate this kid!

Hanson: Doesn’t look like that’ll be a problem. She’s hoisting him into a sitting position in the corner. Looking for that running knee strike!

Vinegar: And she connects big time! Nikko hammered into the corner and comes bouncing out! Now he’s laid out in the middle of the ring and BANG! Big lionsault from Chas! She makes the cover! ONE! TWO! THR – NIKKO KICKS OUT! Chassie nodding, she expected that.

Hanson: Yeah, she’s just asserting her dominance here. Sending a message to Nikko. Now she’s pulling him up by the hair. What do you think she’s got planned?!

Vinegar: Looks like a codebreaker! But Nikko counters into a power bomb type manoeuvre! NOW HE’S COVERING CHAS! ONE! TWO! SHE KICKS OUT!

Hanson: And look at that idiot grinning! He thinks he just won some sort of mental battle! All he did was piss her off!

Vinegar: You might be right, as Chas lifts a foot and sends it straight into Nikko’s distracted, smiling jaw. He’s laid out now and Chas is quick back to her feet, so she can kick the heck out of Nathans. Now pulling him up and throwing him face first into one of the turnbuckles. Nikko looks groggy as he stumbles back out AND CHASSIE CONNECTS WITH THE CODEBREAKER! NO REVERSAL THAT TIME! AND NIKKO GOES FLYING THROUGH THE AIR SO HIGH HE GOES THROUGH THE ROPES AND CRASHING TO THE OUTSIDE A SECOND TIME!

Hanson: Well, he ain’t moving again. Chassie not boasting this time though, she’s just pacing back and forth, staring down at that lifeless Nikko. Think he’s made his way onto her bad side, Nick… o!

Vinegar: You ever relate me to that thing again and I’ll stab you in the eye. But back to the match, Peterson is up to four now and Nikko hasn’t stirred. Five… Six… wait, Nathans is finally moving. Oh, it’s only to spit a tooth out that Chas must have kicked loose. Now up to seven…

Hanson: Well, he put up a decent fight. We’ve certainly seen worse here at GIW.

Vinegar: Eight… Nine… NO! CHASSIE CHARGING TO THE OUTSIDE AND PETERSON HAS NO CHOICE, BUT TO RESTART THE COUNT!

Hanson: Guess she wants a dominant victory over Nikko. Dunno why, everyone here already knows she could whoop his ass without the use of her limbs.

Vinegar: She’s pulling up the kid and slamming his face first into the safety barrier. Those fans are getting up close and personal with the demise of Nikko! BAM! She smashes him again! BAM! And again! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! Now what?! She’s taking him to the ring post and CRASH!!!! Nikko’s skull right into that steel! He’s out cold! Peterson screaming at her now! Saying she pulls one more stunt like that and he’ll disqualify her!

Hanson: Chassie doesn’t like that. But she reluctantly rolls Nikko’s corpse back into the ring and then slides in herself. She seems to be thinking now… Probably deciding the best way to annihilate Nikko next.

Vinegar: Seems she’s decided. She’s pulling Nikko up and TWILIGHT!!!! PLANTS NIKKO DEAD IN THE CENTRE OF THE CANVAS!!! SHE COVERS!!! THIS BAD BOY IS OVER! ONE!! TWO!!!! THRE – WHAT?! NIKKO KICKS OUT!!!! THESE FANS ARE GOING BALLISTIC!!!! CHASSIE IS SHELL SHOCKED!!! SHE CAN’T BELIEVE IT!!!! SHE COVERS AGAIN!!!! ONE!!! TWO!!!!! NO!!!!! NIKKO REFUSES TO STAY DOWN!!!!!

Hanson: This is ridiculous! That kid has more guts, than brains. He’d just stay down if he knew what was good for him!!

Vinegar: Having guts is nothing to be ashamed of, Daniel! Nikko is fighting for his dream here! He’s proving that it’s his dream! Chassie is irate! She’s climbing the turnbuckle AND CALLING FOR THE FEARLESS!! BUT IT’S NO GOOD!!! NIKKO IS TO HIS FEET!!!! HE SPITS A HUGE GLOB OF BLOOD RIGHT AT CHASSIE AND IS NOW TELLING HER TO BRING IT ON!!!! MY GOD, THIS MIGHT BE THE BRAVEST KID I’VE EVER SEEN!!!!

Hanson: All the good it’ll do him! Here comes Chassie with a flying clothesline!

Vinegar: But Nikko ducks! Jumps onto the second rope AND COMES BACK WITH A SPRINGBOARD DDT!!! CHASSIE HAS BEEN PLANTED FACE FIRST!!! NOW NIKKO STARING AROUND THE ARENA, SMILING HUGELY! ONE WAY TO GO!!!! HE CONNECTS!!!! ONE!!! WHAT A COME BACK FROM NIKKO!!!!! TWO!!!! A TRUE FAIRYTALE ENDING HERE!!!! THRE – MY GOD, WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!?!! CHASSIE KICKED OUT!!!!!

Hanson: HA! GONNA TAKE MORE THAN THAT TO KEEP THE DARK ROSE DOWN!!!

Vinegar: BUT NIKKO’S NOT DONE YET!!! HE CLIMBS THE TOP ROPE, LOOKING FOR THE CRASH AND BURN!!!! BUT CHAS STRUGGLING TO HER KNEES, GRABS THE TOP ROPE AND SHAKES IT WITH ALL THE STRENGTH SHE CAN MUSTER! IT WORKS AND NIKKO LOSES BALANCE, GOING GROIN FIRST INTO THE TURNBUCKLE!!!

Hanson: That’s gotta hurt… Now Chas regaining her bearings and going after Nikko. HUGE super hurricarana sends Nikko flying back into the ring! That little guy looks pretty out of it now!

Vinegar: He’s bleeding from the mouth, has lost at least one of his teeth and had his doodle and janglies crushed to oblivion. Right now he’s gotta be asking himself if it’s all worth it.

Hanson: I think I know what his answer will be. Chassie kicking him in the ass, while he lies there half dead. I think this one’s finally over.

Vinegar: NOT LIKELY!!! NIKKO GRABS CHAS BY THE ANKLE AND HE’S BITING HER LEG!!!! MY GOD, NIKKO THE ANKLE BITER!! CHASSIE SCREAMING IN SHOCK AND SHE FINALLY MANAGES TO BREAK FREE!!! SHE’S SCRAMBLING ACROSS THE RING AND YELLING AT PETERSON, ASKING IF HE’LL LET NIKKO GET AWAY WITH THAT!!! PETERSON SAYING IT’S NO DIFFERENT FROM WHEN SHE THREW NATHANS INTO THE RING POST!!! THE DARK ROSE IS FURIOUS!!!!

Hanson: Now Chas pulling Nikko up and BANG! Punches him right in the face! Nothing pretty about that, but it sure looks like it hurt!

Vinegar: Chas is bleeding heavily from her ankle after that desperation move from Nikko, but I don't think she cares. She now whips the kid across the ring and hooks him with a MASSIVE jump kick on the rebound! Nikko looks like he just got turned inside out from that one! Now Chassie stomping the holy hell out of Nikko’s face, showing absolutely no mercy! This is a massacre!

Hanson: YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!!!!

Vinegar: IT’S MITCH! MITCH THE JOBBER IS ON THE APRON, CALLING CHASSIE A SKANKY NIGLET!

Hanson: She ain’t in the mood for this…

Vinegar: Certainly not! She grabs Mitch by the throat AND PULLS HIM RIGHT OVER THE ROPES WITH SOME INHUMAN STRENGTH! BOOM! TWILIGHT! MITCH IS OUT! BOOM! TWILIGHT! NIKKO IS OUT TOO!!!

Hanson: Not that he wasn’t already! But now Chas is rolling Mitch out of the ring and HOLY SHIT, TELL ME THAT DIDN’T JUST HAPPEN!!!!

Vinegar: IT DID!!! IT MAY HAVE BEEN NOTHING MORE THAN REFLEX AND BLIND INSTINCT, BUT MITCH JUST DID IT!!! HE JUST PUNCHED CHASSIE RIGHT IN THE FANNY!!!!!

Hanson: THIS ISN’T RIGHT!!!! DISQUALIFY NIKKO AND GIVE MITCH THE LETHAL INJECTION!!!! THIS IS A TRAVESTY!!!!

Vinegar: It was Chassie that pulled Mitch into the ring. He can’t be disqualified for defending himself! And now Chassie has fallen to her knees, both hands clasped over her crotch. I still can’t believe that just happened! In some futile attempt to gain order, Peterson is trying to roll Mitch out of the ring AND HE ONLY GETS A FIST TO HIS DOODLE FOR HIS EFFORTS!!!! MY GOD, NOW PETERSON IS DOWN!!!!

Hanson: THAT MITCH IS A PERVERT!!! I BET IT’S MIDGET AUSTIN IN DISGUISE!!!!!

Vinegar: Well, I think Peterson has passed out from the pain. Chassie on the other hand has clenched her teeth, broken through the pain barrier and returned to her feet. And she looks like some kind of monster right now. As if she could kill someone!

Hanson: Mitch or Nikko… So many choices. But instead she’s leaving the ring. Shit the fuck?!

Vinegar: She’s looking under the canvas… We all know how this goes. SHE’S GOT A STEEL CHAIR! MY GOD, I WOULDN’T WANT TO BE EITHER MITCH OR NIKKO RIGHT NOW!!!!

Hanson: She’s back in the ring, as both Nikko and Mitch are stumbling about, totally out of it.

Vinegar: BOOM! She just crunched that chair over Mitch’s skull and his presence in this match is now zero. He’s already bleeding from that thunderous chair shot!

Hanson: And now there’s nothing standing between Chassie and Nikko! She’s still clutching that crumpled chair and I haven’t seen eyes as scary as hers, since I met Nick’s second wife! Nikko is finished!

Vinegar: You might be right – wait! CHASSIE TOSSING THE CHAIR TO THE CANVAS! SHE WANTS TO FINISH THIS THING FAIR AND SQUARE – WHAT THE HELL?! NIKKO LIKE A DOG PLAYING FETCH GRABBED THE CHAIR AND SMASHED IT RIGHT INTO CHASSIE’S INJURED ANKLE! SHE FALLS TO ONE KNEE AND SMASH!!!! HE JUST POUNDED THAT CHAIR INTO HER SKULL WITH ALL THE FORCE HE POSSESSES!!! SHE’D BE SEEING STARS RIGHT NOW IF HER EYES WEREN’T ROLLING AROUND IN THE BACK OF HER HEAD!!!

Hanson: I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!!! SHE ACTUALLY WANTED TO FINISH THIS MATCH HONOURABLY! BUT NIKKO SPAT RIGHT IN HER FACE! THAT LITTLE WEASEL!!!

Vinegar: AND NOW HE’S ON THE TOP ROPE, AFTER DROPPING THAT CHAIR ACROSS CHASSIE’S MIDSECTION!!! CRASH AND BURN RIGHT INTO THE STEEL!!!! HE TOSSES THE EVIDENCE TO THE SIDE, JUST AS PETERSON RECOVERS!!! COVER!!!! ONE!!!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!!!!! TWO!!!!!! NIKKO HAS NO SHAME!!!!!! THREE!!!!! IT’S OVER!!!! OVER!!!!! NIKKO STEALS THIS ONE AND THIS WHOLE ARENA IS IN SHOCK!!!!!!

Dennis: Your winner, via Peterson being a total bitch… NIKKO NULTY NATHAAAAAAAAAAAANS!!!

Hanson: THIS IS THE BIGGEST TRAVESTY SINCE DREDD WAS CONSIDERED AN UNDISPUTED TITLE CONTENDER!!! CHASSIE ACTUALLY SHOWED NIKKO SOME RESPECT AND HE WIPED HIS NOW DEFORMED ASS WITH IT!!! NICK, DO SOMETHING!!!!

Vinegar: The result is final! There’s nothing I can do! These guys on the other hand…

Hanson: Awwwww yeeeaaah!!!

Vinegar: Dirge, Raenius and Mickey Dragon have appeared on the stage. All making their way down the ramp. These men are all scheduled to compete later on tonight, but it seems they’ve got some business to attend to here, first. Nikko standing in the ring, looking as if he’s about to wet himself. What cost has his victory come at?

Hanson: Raenius looking under the mat, while Dragon and Dirge enter the ring, surrounding Nikko. I’mma likey where this one is heading, Nick!

Vinegar: Dragon going up to the top rope, while Dirge hoists the still battered Nikko onto his shoulders. DESESITIZED AND EUTHANIZED RIGHT ONTO THE CHAIR!!!!! NIKKO MUST BE DEAD!!!!! THIS IS COMPLETELY UNCALLED FOR!!!!

Hanson: Ha! If Nikko can’t handle the heat, he shouldn't be in the kitchen! But Raenius has set up a table on the outside! Oh, it’s only gonna get worse for Nathans. I love it!

Vinegar: Dragon and Dirge dragging Nikko across the ring, as Chassie is beginning to stir. But wait! MITCH IS UP! THE ODDS AREN’T SO UNFAIR NOW!!! MAYBE TOGETHER THEY CAN STAND UP TO THE COV…. Oh, okay…

Hanson: HA! Mitch is running back up the ramp! He took one look at those guys and got the hell out of dodge! Dude is smarter than he looks!

Vinegar: This doesn’t bode well for Nikko, as The Covenant throws him onto the table AND ARE LIGHTING IT ON FIRE WITH NIKKO ON THERE!!!! NOW CHASSIE FROM THE TOP ROPE SMASHES NIKKO THROUGH THE FLAMES WITH THE FEARLESS!!!! MY GOD, NIKKO MUST BE COVERED IN THIRD DEGREE BURNS HERE!!! HE’S BEEN OBLITERATED!!! THIS IS SICK, DAMMIT!!!!

Hanson: Chassie tried showing Nikko some respect, but he made it perfectly clear that he didn't want it. So this is what happens. It’s a message, Nick. You play by The Covenant’s rules or you get burned! And I can guarantee everyone in the back is watching and understands that completely!

Vinegar: They’ve destroyed a man’s life! A man’s dream! Just to send a message?! THIS IS DISGRACEFUL! I HOPE THE REST OF GIW SHOW THESE PIECES OF SHIT THAT THIS WON’T FLY HERE! SOMEONE HAS TO STAND UP TO THEM!!!

Hanson: Well you go and do that. I’ll be right behind ya.

Nikko Nulty Nathans: 10

Chassie Fear: 9

Hanson: "May Roberts' soul go to a better place, free of chunky Asians, who do flips."

T-Robosaurus Rex
Administrator

Posts: 3,292

Toxic Intent Results Jul 22, 2009 15:10:52 GMT -5

Quote

Post by T-Robosaurus Rex on Jul 22, 2009 15:10:52 GMT -5

Travis Roberts is in his locker room talking to Tate.

Roberts: Look, Travis Roberts is going, that's the end of the conversation.

Tate: But I don't understand, you don't want a celebratory party? And gran thinks it's a real bad idea.

Both stop as there is a noise at the door. They look, and Donovan Hastings is standing in the doorway.

Roberts: How dare you intrude on the Blessed One's locker room? Get out!

Donovan just folds his arms. They have a stare down, neither man breaking the gaze.

Roberts: Leave us.

Tate: What?

Roberts: Look, Travis Roberts will discuss this no further, ‘The Headliner’ will be meeting with her after the show, no matter what you or that interfering grandmother of yours thinks!

He hesitates, but walks towards the door. He stops as Donovan is in his way, and after a moment he steps aside, not breaking his gaze with Travis. He steps back in front of the door after Tate leaves.

Hastings: Hey.

Roberts: What, no plastic swords? Just, ‘Hey’? You come waltzing into the domain of this company’s Unified Global Champion not long before he once again shows young Randall why he still isn’t ready, to say Hey? ‘The Blessed One’ tolerates your erratic behaviour more than most, Donovan, but if it begins to infringe upon my preparation Travis Roberts is likely to become less patient. Now what the hell do you want?

Hastings: I want what you want. I want you to keep that title, until I take it from you.

Roberts: Of course you want ‘The Headliner’ to keep the title, Travis Roberts never suggested you were retarded Donovan, only the terminally stupid would want anything else. ‘The Blessed One’ had heard rumours you had come to your senses and stopped spouting unbelievable, self delusional, comments, but with the suggestion that you will be the one to take the Unified Global Title from Travis Roberts grasp, puts ‘The TWiSTeD icons’ mind at rest, knowing you haven’t changed at all.

Hastings: Weeks ago, you had three problems to worry about. Now you've got one. I took care of Severino. I'm taking care of Edwards. I did this, not you. When you beat Boolzian tonight, not even you are conceited enough not to realize I had a hand in it.

Donovan smiles.

Hastings: Or should I step aside, and we can let Edwards back into your match?

Roberts: And what would you do tonight then Donovan? Wrestle Declara? No, your role tonight is far too important, you and Moss are going to give the audience a chance to grab a snack or get to the bathroom before the biggest moment of their lives comes up...being within hundred’s of feet of ‘The Blessed One’. We couldn’t sacrifice such an important break, just so ‘The Headliner’ can show off by beating the two men proclaimed the future of this company with ease, at the same time.

As for Moss and DJS being problems, it’s a relief to see the rumours of impending sanity on your part are wide of the mark.’

Donovan smiles.

Hastings: Right.

Donovan extends his hand, and Travis looks down, and smirks.

Roberts: Sure...why not? It’ll give you something to tell any offspring you produce...

Roberts proceeds to shake Hastings’ hand as the scene fades back into the arena.

Vinegar: Are you going to stay awake for this one?

Hanson: You know as much as I pretend I hate everyone who isn’t Inevitably Blessed with sexy goodness, it’s just me playing. Having fun.

Vinegar: Really? So you do in fact like Everknight, Cappeli, Alex Kiseragi, Raenius, Moss Edwards… BoolZ?

Hanson: Alright I can’t do it. Fuck no I hate everyone one of those bastards! I just don’t wanna get shot by Cappeli, tortured by Raenius, or worse from Kiseragi! Not to mention Everknight would probably cry all over my clothes about missing his wife who’s new man is probably missing the ‘right’ hole, Moss I’d bet couldn’t get my good side if my face was on a coin, and just breathing the air around BoolZ would more than likely rot my lungs with some new STD.

Vinegar: That’d be nice.

Hanson: Send it to Mitchell, let’s get this match over with.

Dennis: Ladies and Gentlemen the following contest is a Falls Count Anywhere match for the GIW Dot Com Championship! Introducing first the challenger standing six foot even, weighting in at 220 pounds, this is the Nightmare, Michael Cappeli!

The background becomes red and a white spot light runs around the arena as if in search of something, Swagger Like Us by T.I starts to play and the light quickly rushes to the arena's entrance and stays with Mike as he struts to the ring with a bounce in his step as if he runs the whole place. He has a very smug not a care in the world look on his face. He turns to look at a fan with a taken back expression. Vanessa Salazar and her mother Maria wave frantically at Cappeli, but the Nightmare shakes it off, and continues to the ring. He takes his sweet time getting to the ring and once there calmly climbs in. Once in the ring he raises one hand with his fist tightly clinched and a look of complete hatred and anger in his face.

Hanson: At least he didn’t mount those two hoochies right there in the aisle way. Maybe this kid is worth more of a look than FoolZ.

Vinegar: Cappeli and Everknight have shown a complete and utter distain towards one another. And all because of a cigarette if you ask the right people. Asking me, I’d say it’s more about dot com title, and the solidifying effect it would have on both men’s opening legs of their careers here in the GIW.

Hanson: Which is why we don’t axe you shit.

Dennis: And his opponent, standing five foot eleven inches, weighting in at 225 pounds, he is the Fighting Spirit, he is the GIW Dot Com Champion, this is William Everknight!

1, 2, 3… GO!

Vinegar: And Cappeli tackles Everknight as soon as he makes it through the curtains!

Hanson: Dat’s right, bitches! Regulate!

Vinegar: Cappeli with a series of mounted punches completely catching ‘The Kid’ off guard!

Hanson: Really? Didn’t you just say they pretty much hate each other? Is ‘The Kid’ really that childishly naïve?

Vinegar: Everknight slips out the bad predicament he was in, Cappeli up, swings a vicious right hand, captured by Everknight, SLEEPER SUPLEX SENDS CAPPELI THROUGH TO THE BACK!

Hanson: What a douche. He’s getting pummeled and beaten about the head, so he suplexes? He shoulda shanked his stupid ass!

Vinegar: William follows through the curtain, and is blasted by a steel folding chair. Everknight’s down!

Hanson: See! You gotsta raise da level of violence to a whole new level!

Vinegar: Cappeli picks Everknight up, hand full of hair, and smashes him through that door!

Hanson: Oh fuck this isn’t going to be a tour of the insane GIW world is it?

Marlo: Get out! You’ll ruin my asses master plan!!!

Vinegar: And ‘The Fighting Spirit’ just hit Cappeli with Marlo! Then it’s ass!

Hanson: Smart move here from Michael. Get da fuck out!

Vinegar: Everknight giving chase, is crushed by a rolling camera case!

Hanson: Cappeli slamming Wills head into that case, Everknight stumbles backwards, and the Nightmare hits a brutal running crossover clothesline!

Vinegar: Cappeli looking to end this one here and now, he’s got him up for a Cappatalized, Everknight wiggles free, and shoves Cappeli into the brick wall!

Hanson: Cappeli on the rebound, and back into the wall after a standing drop kick from Everknight!

Vinegar: William has Michael…

Hanson: These to need more nicknames.

Vinegar: … Running start, and this time it’s Cappeli face first through another door!

Hanson: Wonder who this one belongs to.

Vinegar: It looks like it’s Serapis’s dressing room, and he calmly looks up at the commotion from his seemingly meditative state.

Hanson: Turn over a plant, piss in the waterfall, fart in his general direction!

Vinegar: What?

Hanson: Hey if my fungus sways then so should his.

Vinegar: Serapis merely stands up to clear the area, and Everknight tackles Cappeli with a running spear.

Hanson: You know when Billiam mounts his opponent, it just looks a bit wrong. Felt wrong saying it too.

Vinegar: I’m sure Michael isn’t to happy about it needing to be said either. Huge potted plant shatters over Everknight’s head as a result! Desperation move from the Nightmare.

Hanson: Capps! That be his new tag.

Vinegar: Everknight dazed, he stumbles, locks eyes Serapis, and takes a step back. I don’t know what’s going through the mind of that young man, but I’m beginning to think we’re going to find out.

Hanson: I’m beginning to think he’s not happy about his pre-match ritual being interrupted. I’m also beginning to think Capps is gonna blast Billy the Toddler with that tea pot! AND HE DID!

Vinegar: That forces Everknight back into the hallway, Cappeli charges, stops as Everknight sets for an overhead suplex, and then destroys Will with his own standing drop kick sending him through another door.

Hanson: Fuck it is gonna be a tour my lame ass wild world match.

Vinegar: Everknight back up, Cappeli charges again, this time Everknight steps forward before Michael and stop, and hits the overhead suplex.

Hanson: Oh dear god almighty get out! Capps just crashed through that card table, and is now on his back at the feet of Raenius, Mickey Dragon, Dirge, and that new nut job KvK!

Mickey Dragon: Got any 2’s?

KvK: I got a hammer.

Mickey Dragon: That’ll do pig, that’ll do.

Vinegar: Everknight with a bottle of toxic brown liquid, right into the face of Cappeli!

Raenius: If that was my last bottle, I will shove those shards right up your arse!

Vinegar: And all out war erupts with Raenius and KvK squaring off with Cappeli and Everknight and Mickey Dragon I think hitting anything that moves!

Hanson: Yeah, but my money’s on Dirge. He’s looking at everyone elses cards.

Vinegar: Everknight and Cappeli holding their own, and manage to get out of the card room in one piece. They share a confused look…

Hanson: AND CAPPS LEVELS THE WHITE KNIGHT WITH KvK’S HAMMER!

The door cracks back open revealing KvK.

KvK: That’s ma nailer!

Cappeli hands the claw hammer back to Klaus who nods before shutting the door.

Hanson: I hate this place.

Vinegar: I’m sure this place hates you back.

Hanson: Recurring Nightmare, and Neverright’s down and holding that knee. Capps proceeds to stomp mercilessly on the injured wheel of the .com champion.

Vinegar: Leg scissors trip by the Everknight, he’s back to his feet, Cappeli charges, and spears him into another room!

Hanson: Shouldn’t they at least be heading down the hall for all these rooms?

Vinegar: The writer didn’t design the building Dan.

Hanson: OH AND A PS3 TO THE DOME OF CAPPS! Finally a good use for that overpriced piece of shit.

Grace Harding: OH…

BoolZ: thank god!

Grace Harding: I had you.

BoolZ: You can have me when ever you want. Just can’t handle me.

Vinegar: Looks like BoolZ’s dressing room.

Hanson: Another bad decision because it looks like his ginger ring rat for the night is leaving after he got beat by a girl again in Street Fighter 4.

Vinegar: Speaking of beat, Everknight finishes the assault with the Playstation, and proceeds to upgrade to full cans of Red Bull!

Hanson: Capps busted open after a few of those shots, Everknight back to feet, and Capps fires back with that chewed up and defunct Hardcore belt!

Vinegar: Might not be a good idea to snatch Conni’s chew toy away though.

Hanson: That dog is getting big.

Vinegar: And Conni’s barking is enough to chase Everknight and Cappeli out of the dressing room.

Hanson: Everknight with a trip takes Capps down in the hallway. ‘Peli to his feet, fire extinguisher to the head, and Neverhigh stumbles backwards, and falls down!

Vinegar: I think he tripped over what used to be the Significant Player.

Hanson: That or Bianca’s huge rack! Look at those things. All bent over trying to wake up Prescott.

Vinegar: Everknight back up, Cappeli charges, EVERKNIGHT ALPHA…

Hanson: BLOCKED, short arm clothesline, and he’s the cover!

Burke: ONE!

Vinegar: And a kick out at one.

Hanson: HA that wasn’t a kick out. Prescott’s asking Burke for some change.

Vinegar: Both men now up, Cappeli yelling at Burke to pay attention, turns, Tilt-A-Whirl backbreaker from ‘The Kid’! Here’s the cover.

Burke: ONE!

Hanson: HA, and Prescott trips over Burke breaking the count.

Vinegar: Everknight doesn’t look to happy as he asks Burke what happened. He turns, Cappatalized!

Hanson: Yeah, but now Bianca is telling Burke to help up Declan. There’s no counting.

Vinegar: Everknight back to his feet, and he’s stumbling down the hallway. Cappeli with a head of steam, and blasts William through another door!

JK: Whoa, don’t you knock, mate?

Hanson: And it’s Midday’s Oil, and I think Paul’s happy to not be nagged at anymore by that little pre-teen momma.

Vinegar: And I think rather than allowing these two to brawl in their dressing room JK’s shoving both men back out into the hall!

Hanson: You’d think that’d happen sooner.

Vinegar: Cappeli measuring now, running knee, Everknight avoids.

Hanson: Capps turns Everknight Alpha, countered!

Vinegar: Another Cappatalized, COUNTERED!

Hanson: OnlyAtNightInTheDark shoots for a back suplex, Capps flips over, OnlyWithHisWife turns…

Vinegar: Cappeli sets for a belly to belly suplex, eats a few elbows, then the EVERNIGHT ALPHA!

Hanson: Damnit.

Vinegar: Everknight holds on, hooks the leg, here’s the count.

Burke: ONE!

Hanson: I hope Capps blasts dis foo!

Burke: TWO!!

Vinegar: Wild hard fought battle tonight folks!

Burke: THREE!!!

Hanson: And da boyscout win’d it.

Dennis: Ladies and Gentlemen here is your winner and still GIW Dot Com Champion! The Fighting Spirit William Everknight!

The camera's show Cappeli getting back to his feet as Burke hands Everknight the .Com title belt. Will offers a handshake to Mike...

Hanson: And now da boyscout loses!

Vinegar: It'd be to easy to put your 'code' on hold against a rival. Will's not that kind of person.

... And after a few tense moments Michael Cappeli accepts and shakes 'The Kids' hand.

William Everknight: 11

Michael Cappeli: 8

Hanson: "May Roberts' soul go to a better place, free of chunky Asians, who do flips."

T-Robosaurus Rex
Administrator

Posts: 3,292

Toxic Intent Results Jul 22, 2009 15:11:13 GMT -5

Quote

Post by T-Robosaurus Rex on Jul 22, 2009 15:11:13 GMT -5

Vinegar: We’re just moments away from the Battleground Qualifier, Battle Royale. We’ve got five people vying to be the first confirmed entrant in this year’s Battleground Match, earning themselves the possible chance to pick a match of their choice at GIW’s Flagship Show, Horizons.

Hanson: There’s a chance, but the Battleground Match is unpredictable at the best of time, last year BoolZ somehow managed to best the Lord Chief on the way to winning it.

Vinegar: In what was a brutal and challenging match for all those competitors involved, none of them will ever forget that matchup.

“Storm Front”

Dennis: The next match is the Battleground Qualifier Battle Royale, the winner will...

Hanson: We’ve covered that...

Dennis: What?...Oh...OK, I’ll just introduce the wrestlers then?

Hanson: That’s your job.

Dennis: Yeah, but it’s nice when I’m given a little more responsibility...

Hanson: As much as we all appreciate you delaying the arrival of JK, it’s time to move on now Mitchell.

Dennis: Fine...Introducing first, from Townsville, North Queensland, Australia, he is ‘THE CYCLOOOONE, JAAAAY KAAAAY!

The arena goes deadly silent as the GlobaTron goes to a blank screen. Then out of nowhere "Storm Front" hits the P.A system as the lights flicker to green and gold. JK walks through the curtain and out onto the entrance way. JK looks up at the fans as he holds up an open hand, showing all fingers and the thumb, queuing fireworks to go off in set locations around the arena.

Vinegar: Coming fresh of a victory with Brandon Brown against Raenius and one of his opponents tonight, KvK, JK looks confident tonight...

Hanson: He probably got a confidence boost singing for Conan...although I hear it’s become a cult youtube sensation, for all the wrong reasons...

JK continues down to the ring, high fiving the fans on the way. JK slides into the ring before climbing the turnbuckle and doing signature five finger pose.

“In Their Darkened Shrines II: Invocation to Seditious Heresy”

Dennis: And introducing next, from Taipei, The Republic Of China...SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSS!

As his entrance music begins, the screen effects change to a video montage of oriental structures, serpents, pyramids, ankhs, scorpions, and other such symbolism. Likewise, Serapis begins to enter the forward stage and performs his taunt after pausing. Afterwards, he looks around to each side of the arena in his suddenly insanity and runs towards the ring.

Vinegar: Serapis is entering this match on a different tangent than JK, he’s suffered a fair few losses recently...

Hanson: A few? I can’t remember the last time this guy won a match, and am I the only person worried about his striking similarity to Chinatsu?

Vinegar: In what way?

Hanson: Well, the porcelain, unblemished skin...

Vinegar: Nick, do you have a man crush?

Hanson: Do I look like Kiseragi?

"All Nightmare Long"

Dennis: Introducing next, from Orlando, Florida....KAAAAAAAY VEEEEEEEEE KAAAAAAAAAY!!!!

The intro to Metallica’s anthemic “All Nightmare Long” builds slowly as a requisite highlight video plays on whatever ridiculously goddamn convoluted video screen setup this fed uses.. The build continues, slow-tempo low-end noodling eventually being replaced by guitar and drums at a frantic pace that belies the fact that ¾ of this band has been at this for the better part of thirty years.

The long-awaited full brunt of the song hits after more than a full minute of intro, punctuated by a respectable amount of fireworks from the entryway. KvK emerges from behind the curtain, and stands as still as a statue on the ramp. He stands looking around at the crowd for several moments, puffing away on what appears to be a rather cheap cigar, a slight sneer on his face. The song continues, a catchy groove that goes on for another half minute or so before the lyrics arrive at last, an auditory gift from the quintessential front man, James Hetfield.

Luck
Runs
Out

His rather cocky surveillance of the crowd apparently over, KvK begins to make his way slowly down the entrance ramp towards the ring.

Crawl from the wreckage one more time
Horrific memory twists the mind
Dark, rutted, cold and hard to turn
Path of destruction feel it burn.

KvK doesn’t smack hands with the fans stretching theirs out over the guardrails that line the path down to the ring, but rather looks into their eager, pleading faces one by one. He pauses here and there, holding eye contact with random fans, still puffing away at his cigar as if he’s got nothing better to do.

Still life
Incarnation
Still life
Infamy

Ignoring their remarks, pleas, comments, and screams, KvK appears bored and a little annoyed at their behavior. At least he chooses to acknowledge their existence by looking at them, unlike many of the cheap heels of modern day. This ring entrance now having taken almost two and a half minutes, he finally reaches the ringside area. He pauses there, looking around at the ring, from the announcer with microphone in hand, to the turnbuckles, to the referee. He scoffs at the striped shirt, shaking his head with blatant disgust at the supposed authority figure.

Hallucination
Heresy
Still you run, what’s to come, what’s to be.

KvK climbs onto the ring apron, rolling underneath the bottom rope and into the ring. He scoots over to the corner, propping his back up against the bottom turnbuckle pad as he takes a few more puffs on his cigar. The chorus of the song arrives at last as he reaches for the top rope, using it to pull himself to his feet.

Cause we hunt you down without mercy
Hunt you down all nightmare long
Feel us breathe upon your face
Feel us shift, every move we trace
Hunt you down without mercy
Hunt you down all nightmare long

With a few paltry stretches of preparation for the upcoming battle, KvK drops his still-lit cigar down the open top of the ring post and licks his upper front teeth slowly. The song fades out as everyone prepares themselves for the chaos to come.

Hanson: Well that helps bump up the word count huh?

Vinegar: Thank the lord for over indulgence!

“Critical Acclaim”

Vinegar: And here comes some more...

Dennis: Introducing next, from Las Vegas, Nevada....MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICKEEEEEEEEEEEEEY DRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!

The arena drops to complete darkness for a few seconds as the crowd prepares themselves for Mickey Dragon's entrance. After a couple of seconds, flash bulbs start going off in the crowd, as if they're about to watch the second coming of some demonic Jesus Christ. An organ begins to play quite a very mellow dirge over the loudspeakers and a white light slowly dims its way over the stage.

After twenty seconds of this organ, Avenged Sevenfold's bassist breaks the solemnity of this moment with a power riff that blasts the entire entranceway white for a split second. The bass now matches the organ note-for-note before being joined by a lead guitar slicing itself through the dirge. It is then that we see Mickey Dragon.

He has risen from under the stage and now stands on the center of the stage, head down, dripping wet and running down his face. This bright white light continues to flicker every couple of notes as the crowd cheers their head off at the hero standing on the stage. Flashbulbs continue to pop as Dragon remains steadfast in his motionless position.

The guitar and bass suddenly break into a heavy metal solo, destroying all substance to the solemnity and becoming more of a destructive, ear-piercing suicide of music. The white is no longer randomly flashing, but keeping the beat with the song on the stage as Dragon's head begins to bang on the stage, water flying from his bald head like a mud puddle being blown apart by a speeding tractor-trailer.

M. Shadows, lead singer of Avenged Sevenfold greets the crowd with his opening lyrics as Mickey Dragon struts slowly down the ramp way.

Shh, be quiet, you might piss somebody off
Like me motherf**ker,
You've been at it for too long
While you feed off others insecurities
You stand in front of me and bite the hand that feeds

Dragon stops every couple of steps to shake hands with his fans. They are near riot from his appearance and they shake the foundation of the arena with their stomping, cheering, screaming, and singing with the song. Dragon nearly has to pry himself off the railing from groups of fans trying to pull him into their madness, and he continues up the entranceway.

As he reaches the ring, he steps onto the apron, screaming out to the crowd. He then proceeds to front-flip into the ring as M. Shadows belts out the chorus to this song.

I've had enough, its time for something real
i don't respect the words you're speaking, gone too far
a clone!!

As this chorus is being screamed to the masses, Dragon ascends a turnbuckle. The lights in the arena go out
a second time and that same white light bears down upon him, giving him some sort of sadistic look to him. He hops down and when Shadows screams the word "clone," flames shoot from each corner and the lights instantly come on.

Hanson: That’s one thing these guys are great for, no matter what happens, considering most people scan past matches that don’t involve them, this match is gonna look like a helluva long one.

Vinegar: And we’ve still got one more entrant left...

Hanson: The only one that matters...

“The Air That I Breathe”

Dennis: And introducing finally, from Sydney, Australia....DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN PREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTT!!!

Vinegar: Oh my god!

Hanson: ...

Declan Prescott staggers out from underneath the GlobaTron, wearing his ring gear, but hardly conscious as he sways from side to side, gripping a bottle of liquid in his hands as he weaves his way towards the ring.

Vinegar: it’s a sorry state of affairs when the owner of the company has dropped to such levels.

Hanson: It’s an act, I’m sure of it.

Vinegar: What purpose does it serve?

Hanson: There will be one, I’m confident of that....but I can’t pretend to be able to contemplate things on the same level as ‘The Significant Player’.

Vinegar: Well everyone is now in the ring, and the officials are ringside, and this match is about to get underway...

DING!

Hanson: And theres the bell, and KvK goes straight after the man who pinned him last week and hits JK with a spinning DDT...

Vinegar: Wow, he’s got some specified moves tonight...but we may not see much of them as Declan, despite his intoxicated state, gets behind him and starts heaving him over the ropes...

Hanson: Damn that Mickey Dragon, hitting Prescott from behind and saving his buddy Mickey...

Vinegar: Now Serapis getting in on the action and he grabs the stunned Prescott and whips him into the turnbuckle before following him in with a shoulder barge...

Hanson: Whilst KvK and Mickey D now team up on JK, hitting him with a double suplex...

Vinegar: You get the feeling this match could become quite difficult to follow?

Hanson: Ah, people will only skim it to see who gets eliminated, I don’t think many of our viewers have that big an attention span...

Vinegar: Now Mickey D and KvK whip JK to the ropes, but he slides under a double big boot, and manages to get up and execute a double neck breaker on both men...

Hanson: Serapis still has Declan in the corner, and is stomping away on him...

Vinegar: Most of these guys trying to keep to the ground as much as possible, one wrong leap and they’re gonna be eliminated...

Hanson: Declan blocks a stomp, and headbuts Serapis directly in the Janglies and he falls to the ground, as Declan uses the ropes to raise himself to his feet.

Vinegar: JK has been trying to keep both Mickey D and KvK down, with elbow drops and leg drops, but Mickey D has rolled out of the way and JK ends up on the floor...

Hanson: What happened to you calling him Mikey, that seems to have all but stopped?

Vinegar: Huh? Hadn’t really thought about it..Anyway, Mickey has now dragged JK to his feet, and he seems to be explaining to him the stupidity of keeping his opponents on the ground during a Battle Royale, whilst wrapping both arms around his throat, and tossing him towards and over the ropes...but The Cyclone manages to reach out and grab the top rope with both hands....Mickey however has turned away, and turns his attention to the stumbling Declan, and Serapis who still clutches his sensitive area following that headbutt...

Hanson: And he hasn’t seen that JK has got back into the ring, and as he stalks towards Declan, JK rushes him from behind and leaps...

Vinegar: Out of Nowhere, KvK steps inbetween the two, and manages to wrap his arms around JK whilst catching him...and executes a RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX....OVER THE TOP ROPE!

Hanson: This time JK is unable to grab hold of the ropes...and is eliminated!

Eliminated:The Cyclone JK

Vinegar: and Mickey D is able to continue his pursuit of Declan, and he swings a fist at ‘The Significant Players’ head, but Declan ducks, and Serapis wraps huis feet around Mickey Dragon’s, and hits a drop toe hold, forcing Mickey D’s face directly into the bottom turnbuckle...

Hanson: And Declan shows his appreciation with a round of applause...

Vinegar: How out of it is he? He missed his own hands on a number of occasions there!

Hanson: It’s obviously an elaborate DPLAOCIAFSOS...

Vinegar: Declan Prescott Lulls An Overgrown Chump Into A False State Of Secuirty?

Hanson: That’s the one...

Vinegar: it’s been going on for over a month now!

Hanson: I said it was elaborate didn’t I? And look at him now, gouging Mickey D’s eyes, whilst Serapis locks up with KvK, Declan is playing a smart game, let everyone else do the hard work, he’ll just pounce on the scraps...Why risk being eliminated himself?

Vinegar: I guess there is sense in that...And Mickey D is being kept down, as Serapis encounters a viscous uppercut from KvK who then follows it up with a standing dropkick sending Serapis falling backwards, onto Prescott, breaking Declan’s eye gouge on Mickey D, who scrambles away from the pile up...and stands up besides KvK as both Serapis and Declan get to their feet...

Hanson: Serapis looking towards Declan, suggesting they form an alliance, which could eb a good idea...maybe not...

Vinegar: Prescott looks at Serapis, considers the offer and then hits him with the SIGNIFICANT IMPACT!

Hanson: KvK looks on in amusement, as Mickey D shrugs, turns to KvK...and boots him square in the stomach, before grabbing him by the hair and tights, and throws him over the top rope!

Vinegar: I guess the guys in The Covenant do things very differently...it seemed Mickey just wanted to keep the action flowing, and decided there was no reason he shouldn’t throw KvK to the arena floor...

Hanson: Maybe Mickey just wanted KvK to hurry up and find his momma?

Vinegar: That is a distinct possibility.

Eliminated:KvK

Hanson: Well KvK looks nonplussed by it, he just laughs and sarcastically wags his finger at Mickey Dragon.

Vinegar: Declan turns to Mickey D and swings a fist at him, but loses his co-ordination and balance and ends up missing Mickey Dragon, and spinning round allowing Mcikey D to grasp him from behind and execute a Full Nelson slam...

Hanson: Serapis stirring from the Significant Impact and starts to use the ropes to pull him back to his feet...

Vinegar: Mickey Dragon taking a few steps back from Prescott..

Hanson: Declan gets to one knee...I think I know what’s coming...SHIIIIIIINIIIIIING WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARD!!!

Vinegar: Serapis knew it was coming to, turned to the ropes, spring boarded off the middle rope, and as Mickey D’s knee connects with Declan’s face, Serapis connects with a Flying Head Scissors Takedown...now it’s Serapis on his feet and the others on the floor, what a quick turnaround... and now Serapis lifting Declan from the floor...and he’s now hoisting Declan over the top rope...

Hanson: Someone has just leapt the barrier...and slid into the ring...and he breaks Serapis’ hold on Declan...Saving him...and then hits a Sit Down Jaw Breaker on him,...and turns to Declan...

Vinegar: That’s...ANDY SAVANA?

Hanson: What’s this, like his seventh comeback, and you still manage to be surprised?

Vinegar: I’m paid very well...and now both men stand in the center of the ring...arms raised triumphantly...if they sway a little shilst doing it...my god, these two men, in tandem, this could be a truly dominant tea...Oh.

Hanson: See anything Savana touches turns to crap...

Vinegar: Mickey D from behind the celebrating duo throws Declan straight over the top rope, and then throws Andy Savana over with him...

Hanson: And Savana lands directly on top of Declan, and it causes both men to vomit...

Eliminated:Declan Prescott

Vinegar: You still think this is an elaborate DPLAOCIAFSOS?

Hanson: With both Andy Savana and Declan Prescott slipping and sliding in a mixture of one another’s stomach contents...I’m beginning to have second thoughts I must admit...

Vinegar: Mickey Dragon, of all people, seems to be repulsed by this scenario, turning his face away...now if Mickey Dragon thinks something is offensive, you gotta know it’s not a pretty sight...

Hanson: Serapis thought uses the distraction to leap up onto Dragon’s shoulders...leans back and grabs the ropes....and throws Mickey over the top rope with a Huricanrana!

Vinegar: And holds onto the ropes, and pulls himself into the ring...

Eliminated: Mickey Dragon

Dennis: HERE IS YOUR WINNER, AND THE FIRST BATTLEGROUND 2009 QUALIFIER....SERRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPIIIIIIIIIIISSS!

Vinegar: What a turnaround for Serapis here tonight, I don’t think anyone expected him to triumph here tonight, not after his recent string of bad luck, but he has shocked everyone, and through some bizarre developments in the match, he is the first man to guarantee his spot at one of the biggest matches of the year!

Hanson: but more importantly, whats next for Declan Prescott and Andy Savana?

Vinegar: A shower hopefully...

Serapis: 6

Mickey Dragon: 5

Declan Prescott: 3

KvK: 2

‘The Cyclone’ JK: 0

Hanson: "May Roberts' soul go to a better place, free of chunky Asians, who do flips."

T-Robosaurus Rex
Administrator

Posts: 3,292

Toxic Intent Results Jul 22, 2009 15:11:36 GMT -5

Quote

Post by T-Robosaurus Rex on Jul 22, 2009 15:11:36 GMT -5

Mitchell: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is for the GIW Tag Team Championship!

Hanson: Not wasting much time huh?

Vinegar: Little known fact, a certain somebody likes to write the entrances last, and the battery on their new NetBook is almost dead.

Mitchell: Introducing first, representing the Covenant, the GIW Tag Team Champions, DIRGE and RAENIUS!

‘Secrets of the Dead’ and the darkening of the arena lead to the champions’ arrival.

Hanson: Don’t torture yourself, man, copy and paste it!

The Covenant make their way out onto the stage. The very air about them is one of menace and violence. They step forward, observing with disdain the crowd that starts to boo them. Walking forward they make their way down the aisle slowly, casting loathsome looks at the people who are too afraid to throw things, but voice their dislike openly. As they make their way to the stage they climb in and then mount opposite turnbuckles, looking out amongst the crowd, who is once again shushed by the death like creep of terror’s hands around their hearts. The song fades.

Hanson: That’s right. Everybody does it. Oh look, Brandon magically appeared from underneath the ring. He must have been on some wacky adventure.

Mitchell: Oh, and their challengers, introducing first, from Albion Indiana, BRANDOOOON BROWN!

Hanson: Oh look, there’s something in my inbox. Right click!

The lights go out, the only illumination in the arena now coming from the Globaltron.

‘No Other Place I’d Rather Be Than Los Angeles’

Vinegar: What on Earth?

A moment of static covers the speakers before breaking into Coming Undone. The music fills the arena on top of the aghast screams of the crowd.

Vinegar: I know this music and it seems I’m not the only one.

Hanson: You’re the only one at this table.

Vinegar: Doesn’t surprise me one bit.

After little over a minute the music sweeps once more into Hero and the lights come up. Stood at the end of the ring furthest from the ramp is a figure in a black hoody with the hood up and black track pants. His face is covered by a once white mask, now covered in black scorch marks. The crowd erupts.

Hanson: No, it can’t be! He’s supposed to be dead.

Vinegar: Rumours of Ezekiel’s demise may well be exaggerated. Look at the Covenant! They don’t seem too sure about this. If I was to guess, I’d think they were scared.

Hanson: You know that’s not true.

The figure screams to the sky, his arms spread wide in the middle of the ring. As he does the stage erupts in fire and the words on the Globaltron change.

‘REMEMBER ME.’

As the flames fade the figure tears the mask, hoody and sweats off to reveal he is who was previously expected. Alex Kiseragi stands in the centre of the ring, staring down the Covenant with burning intensity.

Hanson: See, Ezekiel is dead. It’s just the Rainbow.

Vinegar: Alex Kiseragi making a statement here before this match is even underway.

Dennis: Now in the ring, the tag team partner. From San Francisco, California! Weighing in at 198lbs! The Dragon, Alex Kiseragiiiiiiiiiiii!!!

Vinegar: This one is clearly about more than gold for the Dragon. This ones going out to one half of GIW’s first ever Tag Team Champions, the incapacitated Ezekiel Pax.

Vinegar: There’s the bell, and it looks like Raenius will be starting things off for Team Covenant.

Hanson: And Alex Kiseragi will be the legal man for team Brown Dragon.

Vinegar: Brown Dragon?

Hanson: I know, I know. It’s a work in progress.

Vinegar: Time to earn your paycheck, Daniel. Tell the people at home how these two teams differ.

Hanson: Kiseragi and Brandon are obviously much faster, and both will have to rely on their kicks and flips to overcome The Covenant’s size advantage. Dirge and Raenius are going to want to use their power moves to control the pace, and keep Team Flippy Kicky on the mat.

Vinegar: As Raenius demonstrates by shoving The Dragon to the mat. Kiseragi quick to get back up and go for a second lock-up.

Hanson: Look, repeating your mistakes isn’t going to do you any good here tonight. See, you just got shoved again. What if your jailbait girlfriend is watching right now?

Vinegar: I heard that Miss Piper is indeed in attendance, and in perfect health.

Hanson: This time KisAGuy follows my advice and is quick to go with his instincts, getting behind Raenius.

Vinegar: Hammerlock applied, but Raenius demonstrates sound technical prowess by reversing into his own.

Hanson: And Alex reversing it again. So far this match has been two shoves and three hammerlocks. Can we fast forward to the main event?

Vinegar: Not during a live pay per view broadcast.

Hanson: Tivo is a lie!

Vinegar: Raenius again maneuvering out of the hold, and pulls in Kiseragi with a short-arm lariat. Staying on top of The Dragon, don’t bother saying it Daniel, Raenius has him in a front face lock, and tries to drag him over to The Covenant corner.

Hanson: Manhattan Drop, Kiseragi gets out of The Mask Aficionado’s grasp by kneeing him in the jangles. The Masked Irish Jangles.

Vinegar: Followed up with an enziguri, sending Raenius towards the ropes. The Momentum Killer reaches that long arm and tags himself into the action.

Hanson: Kiseragi showing some guts charging straight at the largest man in the match, but probably lost some brain cells from that boot to the head!

Vinegar: Dirge picks up The Dragon and gives him a rope burn! Dragging his face across the top rope, and follows it up with some hammering blows against the back of Alex’s head!
Hanson: Irish whip, Dirge showing that he does indeed have a few just regular moves.

Vinegar: But Kiseragi ducks that clothesline attempt, and comes back with a cross body.

Hanson: Why oh why do cruiserweights insist on body splashing heavyweights? They always get caught. Just like that.

Vinegar: Backbreaker, but keeping hold of Alex and slumming him over his shoulder, shoulder breaker, cradling him, fall away slam.

Hanson: That’s more like the Dirge I know, stringing moves together to make one big move. And he’s waving at the audience, who don’t seem to appreciate his efforts.

Vinegar: I think we both know by now that he couldn’t care less what they appreciate. Strolling over and picking up Alex for a power bomb, The Dragon uses his momentum to carry over, Sunset flip!

Hanson: And Dirge uses his long legs to easily escape the pin attempt. There’s something lacking in these first minutes of the match.

Vinegar: Haven’t we discussed before that matches need to have a pace? Both men up to their feet, the Dragon hits a beautiful dropkick.

Hanson: It’s the energy, where’s the energy?

Vinegar: How about that energy? Kiseragi pulls out an old school Tito Santana flying forearm, sending both men out on to the ring floor. Impressive airtime from The Dragon on that move, don’t you think?

Hanson: Meh.

Vinegar: I don’t think the problem is the match, Daniel. Dirge actually showing a bit of agility, lands on his feet. He picks up Alex by the hair and slams his face into the pole.

Hanson: Oh my god, you’re right.

Vinegar: It happens sometimes. Dirge continues the assault, pulls The Dragon over and slams his head against the barricade.

Hanson: I just don’t have anything left. This match has officially beaten me.

Vinegar: I thought you were going to make up tag team names for Alex and Brandon? Speaking of which, Brandon Brown runs along the ring apron and leaps off to deliver a flying lariat to The Momentum Killer! I think you’re being too harsh on this contest.

Hanson: What’s the point? What is the point?

Vinegar: I beg your pardon?

Hanson: A tag team title match. The division is dead. Dead….dead…dead.

Vinegar: Raenius joining the fray out on the floor now, trading blows with Brandon. I believe that The Dragon is stepping up in honor of Ezekiel Pax, who is slowly recovering from the Covenant’s fireball attack.

Hanson: See? So it’s not even about the title. How did this get on the pay per view card?

Vinegar: This is a historic moment, whoever would have thought they’d see Brandon Brown and Alex Kiseragi join forces in such a way? And they’re already gelling as a team, see that double team maneuver there? Brown with a drop toe hold, The Dragon catches Raenius with a kick on the way down!

Hanson: And why do we do this? Over explaining every single moment in the match. Does GIW have a large blind fan base?

Vinegar: Dirge with a double clothesline, utilizing his size advantage and wingspan. I believe that we provide our audience with perspective on the match. And you’ve said yourself that people love your gimmicks.

Hanson: Which change match to match, with hardly any mention of it. It’s like we’re all schizophrenic.

Vinegar: Dirge rolls The Dragon back into the ring.

Hanson: What makes a pay per view different than a normal Sentinel?

Vinegar: Matches like this, important moments in GIW history, and matches that change the makeup of the company.

Hanson: So why ever watch Sentinel, if only the pay per view matches are important?

Vinegar: To see what leads to the matches, I suppose. Kiseragi with some stiff chops, greeting Dirge as he reenters.

Hanson: And why do we call it a pay per view? No one’s paying to see this. Unless like a certain someone they can only use the internet at McDonald’s. In which case they pay to see EVERY show.

Vinegar: Um, now The Dragon with an irish whip, it’s reversed. Big Boot catches Kiseragi on the way back. Now picking him up, arms butterflied, Rolling the Dice! Big face buster there. Dirge going for the pin, kick out right at 2.

Hanson: Ooo, drama.

Vinegar: Brandon is back on the apron, and reaching out for that tag. Dirge sees him and shoots him a smile.

Hanson: Oh, because we have to establish that he’s an asshole.

Vinegar: Kiseragi back to his feet, Oh not after that! Dirge turns right around with a devastating lariat.

Hanson: Hey, tell me some other easy character-building factoid. You know, to humanize the wrestlers..

Vinegar: Alright. Dirge has been using the same keen mind that he brings to the business world here at GIW. In fact, he uses his board room think-tank to scout his opponents.

Hanson: How do we know this? We have one show a week, and there cannot possibly be enough time to run promos for every single wrestler. And hardly any of them are actually television style promos anyway, how the fuck do we know what happens each week?

Vinegar: Um…Dirge picking Alex up, Death Valley Driver position. The Dragon throwing sharp elbows into The Momentum Killer’s face, swings his legs, Reverse DDT! What a counter!

Hanson: Again, over-explaining the situation.

Vinegar: And there’s the tag! The crowd is on their feet for Brandon Brown! He keeps Dirge down with a running knee. And now applying a stiff armbar, of course he’ll want to wear down that limb for his finisher, The Cattle Mutilation.

Hanson: Of course he will. HBK always wants to apply his trademark, Bryan Danielson’s Cattle Mutilation, and that guy from Slipknot might need to rush in to save his partner The Wishmaster. Then Ryu will have jump in and oh the humanity. That Street Fighter movie killed Raul Julia, by the way.

Vinegar: Dirge again using that reach, grabbing for the ropes to break the hold. Brandon quick to follow the referee’s instruction, and Dirge is quick shoot out a hand and knife-edge chop Brown in the throat. Now a whip into the corner. Raenius being tagged in, both men throw stiff elbows into the Most Resilient Man in GIW’s face.

Hanson: Oh I’ll bet that hurt to read.

Vinegar: It hurt to watch.

Hanson: Oh give it up. This is just…I can’t….game over, man. Game over.

Vinegar: My broadcast partner is standing on the table.

Hanson: There is no broadcast! There is no table! THERE IS NO SPOON!

Vinegar: Raenius drags Brown out of the corner, vicious snap suplex. The Covenant is demonstrating why they’ve been so dominant as of late.

Hanson: Because they’re about half the roster. That’s the power of email. Hey guys, you want to pop over here and write yourselves into our story? It’ll be fun!

Vinegar: Um, The Irish Nightmare raining punches down into the forehead of Brandon Brown. Kiseragi from left field! A shining wizard knocks Raenius off of his ragtag partner!

Hanson: What is our obsession with that move?

Vinegar: It’s become a trademark of The Dragon, it makes sense that he would use it in most matches.

Hanson: We’ve made it a trademark of the man, don’t you understand that? Don’t you see the power of canon?

Vinegar: Dirge stepping into the ring, charging at full speed towards Kiseragi for a Gore. Alex dodges easily. The big man from Las Vegas turns around, Alex and Brandon with a double dropkick knocking him down to the canvas. Now The Dragon steps onto the apron, Brandon has Dirge’s legs in a wishbone position. Alex with the springboard, dual leg drops! More surprisingly solid teamwork from the two former champions.

Hanson: Check this out. I have an illegitimate son.

Vinegar: What?

Hanson: No one has ever said I DIDN’T, so now that I have said that I DO, it is in the canon. People can make of it what they will. I could name all your children and grandchildren right now if I wanted to.

Vinegar: Please don’t. I don’t want them to be made fun of at school.

Hanson: I think we both know it’s too late for that.

Vinegar: Here comes Raenius to clothesline Kiseragi out of the ring. Brandon Brown up just in time to get lifted and draped neck first across that top rope, Stun Gun style! Dirge back on his feet, the two Covenant members doubling up on The Most Resilient Man in GIW, spike power bomb drives him into the mat like a nail.

Hanson: Drive them like a nail. Who’s writing this crap? Wait, I think we both know who that is. This slow ass, ROHy match and meta-commentary could only come from one person.

Vinegar: Raenius telling the referee that Dirge will remain in the ring, and excuses himself to the outside. Kiseragi returns to his corner as well. Dirge lifting Brown from the mat, Brown with a jawbreaker out of nowhere, snaps the Momentum Killer’s head back and gives him a moment’s rest. Brown tries to lift him up on his shoulders for the GTS!

Hanson: Hey, a rare moment of logical physics, he simply can’t get the man into position.

Vinegar: Dirge seems amused by the attempt, he’s not even fighting back. Now he’s had enough, I suppose, brings that fist down like a hammer onto the back of Brown.

Hanson: Hammer? Like the kind that hits a nail?

Vinegar: Now an irish whip, Brown hit’s a flying forearm on the rebound! Now Brandon hits the ropes on his own accord, Dirge just pulled Owen Peterson into the way! Despicable.

Hanson: Yep, totally. Because, that’s his character right? Heel 101.

Vinegar: All four men in the ring now. Brown being beaten down by Dirge as The Dragon trades blows with Raenius. Speaking of Dragons, here comes Mickey Dragon down the ramp, and he has a chair! Kiseragi turns around and takes a chair shot straight to the head! Dirge tells Mickey to take care of him, now he’s dragging him out onto the floor.

Hanson: Wow, you’re really starting to barrel through the match, aren’t ya? It’s like you did it one time already but it got lost in a software malfunction.

Vinegar: Apparently there’s a ‘shut down and throw away all your work’ function key, but that’s neither here nor there. Dirge and Raenius taking turns stomping away Brandon Brown while Mickey Dragon is doing what he loves to do, cause pain, out on the floor, bringing that chair down repeatedly into Kiseragi’s midsection. Wait, who’s that now?

Hanson: Ooo, story moment! Katie Piper is in the front row! And she is talking some serious smack to Mickey Dragon now.

Vinegar: Mickey drops that chair. Oh my this isn’t good. He has a hold of Katie! Last time she was in a GIW arena, she was seriously injured, this has to be a bad flashback. YARI KICK! Kiseragi protecting his dear friend, shrugging off the pain through sheer adrenaline. Now Piper telling him to get in there and save Brandon, who is barely fighting off the advances of the Covenant inside the ring.

Hanson: Go Nick go! Our Mickey D’s pay-per-block internet connection only lasts ten more minutes and we haven’t spellchecked this thing yet.

Vinegar: Kiseragi again trading blows with Dirge, Raenius goes to super kick Brandon, but the master of the super kick dodges, and nails his own, sending the masked mauler out of the ring. The Dragon ducks a clothesline attack from Dirge and responds with a spinning crescent kick to the side of the head! Now Brown and Kiseragi are the ones taking turns hitting somebody. Team work time! Brandon and the Dragon working together to lift Dirge into the air! They have him up, and drop him into two knees at once! DOUBLE GTS! Peterson regains consciousness to see Kiseragi roll Dirge onto his back, Brown drags the referee across the ring to make the count. 1! 2! 3!

Mitchell: Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners, and NEW Tag Team Champions, Alex Kiseragi and Brandon Brown!

Hanson: Aaaaand scene. How was THAT for a gimmick, eh? It was like a worked shoot, Vince Russo style!

Vinegar: So you don’t really have a son?

Hanson: I have a son if you have dignity.

Vinegar: So it’s a push. Any way, congratulations to our new champions, although this definitely puts a big target on their backs, don’t think the Covenant will let this go lightly.

Alex Kiseragi: 5

Brandon Brown: 4

Raenius: 5

Dirge: 3

Hanson: "May Roberts' soul go to a better place, free of chunky Asians, who do flips."

T-Robosaurus Rex
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Posts: 3,292

Toxic Intent Results Jul 22, 2009 15:12:04 GMT -5

Quote

Post by T-Robosaurus Rex on Jul 22, 2009 15:12:04 GMT -5

As the crowd is calming down from the last match, the arena goes dark and then Metallica’s “All Nightmare Long” echoes through the crowd. A highlight video plays on the screen and the lights return as KvK emerges from backstage carrying a cooler and makes his way down to the ring, a smirk on his face as he walks with a purpose. He pulls himself up onto the ring apron and moves through the ropes, indicating his desire for a mic as he places the cooler at the base of a ringpost. One is handed to him and he draws his hand across his throat rapidly, exhibiting a desire to cut his music short. As the music drops off, he waits for the roar of the fans to diminish so that he can be heard. He brings the mic up to his mouth.

“Would Mickey Dragon be so kind as to grace us with his presence,” he inquires, his eyebrow raised mockingly as he speaks.

He and the crowd don’t have long to wait as shortly after his request, as Avenged Sevenfold’s “Critical Acclaim” hits the loudspeaker and Mickey Dragon strolls out and down the ramp, not breaking his pace or slowing down as he climbs into the ring with KvK, requesting a mic and that his music be cut short also. He wastes no time and just as his music drops off, he turns to Klaus.

“I take it you have news?”

“I do indeed. And it isn’t what you think, buddy.” Klaus looks at Mickey smiling like a kid in a candy shop.

“What do you mean it’s not what I think and why the hell are you so goddamn smiley? I thought you were pissed and out to stop whoever it was.” Mickey stares at KvK suspiciously. KvK just shrugs.

“She gave me some pie,” he says somewhat sheepishly. Mickey Dragon just stares at him as the crowd erupts around them.

“She gave you pie?” The crowd erupts again, cheering and laughing. KvK nods seriously.

“Yeah man, if you thought her cookies were good, her pie is better!”

Mickey Dragon looks around him as if he’s in some strange new dimension, the confusion evident on his face.

“You mean to tell me that this is actually a mom and not one of the guys fucking with us?” He looks at Klaus, the disbelief evident on his face.

“Yeah, buddy, she’s definitely a mom. But if you want to know for sure, she’s here and she wants to meet you.” KvK assures him and, hearing this, the crowd goes wild again chanting “Bring out Mom”.

“Bring her ass out then, let’s see her,” Mickey says, waving a hand toward the ramp. KvK turns and faces the ramp as the crowd chants.

“Come on out, Mom,” he calls.

On cue, the theme from “Leave it to Beaver” hits and Mickey Dragon looks at Klaus in mock horror. Klaus shrugs again and directs Mickey’s attention back to the ramp where a smiling woman is making her way down to the ring with a spring in her step, carrying a tray full of cookies. Mickey, his jaw hanging open, looks back and forth from KvK to her and then focuses on her. She beams at him and the crowd with a blinding smile, her lips painted a bright red, her cheeks rosy from a liberal application of rouge, and some red cats-eye glasses framing her heavily made up eyes, complete with obviously false lashes. As she nears the steps, KvK moves forward to help her up and hold the ropes open for her as Mickey stands in the middle of the ring with a dumbfounded look on his face. After sliding through the ropes, she thanks Klaus and gives him a huge smile as she fixes some imaginary flyaways, her hair a blonde beehive that doesn’t look like it‘s moved since “Leave it to Beaver“ first aired. Klaus puts his hand over his heart and smiles back. As the music ends, she spins to face Mickey Dragon and flashes him a wide, happy grin, her long-sleeved red 50’s style dress swirling about her legs as it flares out. He looks her up and down, taking in her black and white floral print apron with lace on the edges, her red high heels, pearl necklace and giant pearl earrings. He stares at her face for a moment or two, thinking she looks familiar, but being unable to place her, he dismisses it. She beams at him the whole time. She leans over to KvK to speak into his mic.

“Hi Mickey,” she cooes in a voice oozing with motherly hugs of goodness. The crowd breaks into an uproar again as Mickey Dragon continues to stare.

“Lady, are you for real,” he asks, his voice carefully controlled. At her look of confusion, KvK takes the mic back.

“What do you mean is she for real, of course she’s for real. You see her standing right here, don’t you?” Klaus holds out a hand towards her, signifying her. Mickey flushes a bit.

“Yeah I see her, I just wasn’t expecting her. I was honestly expecting one of the guys from the back to be fucking with us.”

“Come on man, watch your mouth in front of her. It upsets her delicate disposition,” KvK says, a look of concern on his face for Mom. Mickey just stares at him in shock, but before he can recover, KvK raises the mic again.

“Anyway, man, I think Mom here has something she wants to tell you. She‘s been talking about you nonstop, about how proud she is of you,” and so saying he gently nudges her towards Mickey. She looks a bit uncertain but moves toward him, bearing her tray of cookies, offering him one. Mickey shrugs and takes one, biting into it, flinching a bit as she pinches his cheek. The crowd laughs uproariously at the sight of the psychotic Mickey Dragon somewhat behaving. Klaus just moves to the other side of the ring next to his cooler, a suspicious smile on his face. Mom moves closer to Mickey, smiling at him and signals for him to hold the mic out for her. Mickey finishes his cookie, taking another from her tray.

“Well, Mickey, you know you’re my little star,” she starts out in her sing-songy voice, leaning forward to speak into the mic. Mickey rolls his eyes but takes another bite of cookie, chewing it.

“But, well…” Mom looks around, a bit uncertain and Mickey leans forward to hear what she has to say as her voice drops a bit.

“You’re a douche,” she finishes, loud enough into the mic that everyone hears her, the sing-song quality of her voice gone. Mickey pauses with the cookie halfway to his mouth as his mind registers what she just said. He gives her a strange look before realization dawns too late as she moves back with the cookie sheet for a vicious swing that makes contact with his skull and sends her in a wild spin and almost takes her off her feet. Klaus rushes forward to catch her and stand her up as cookies fly everywhere and Mickey Dragon crumples to the ground, his eyes rolled back in his head as his hand goes limp, finally letting go of the cookie. The crowd is abuzz with what they just saw.

Mom moves away from Klaus, straightening her skirts and checking her pan over. She grabs the mic that Mickey dropped, looking at the crowd innocently, her voice normal and smooth now.

“Cast iron” she laughs into the mic and the crowd erupts with her. She winks at KvK who is chuckling to himself and digging in his cooler. She turns to the ramp and raises the mic again.

“Where’s my music?” she calls.

The lights pulse in the arena as Black Label Society’s “Phoney Smiles and Fake Hellos” breaks out over the crowd. Satisfied, she leans back over the rope, the mic cutting out with a snarl of static as she drops it to the mat. She rips the apron off and flings it into the crowd. The crowd goes wild as her “hair” follows suit, the beehive going flying as her long red hair is revealed. She runs her fingers through it, messing it up. She rips the buttons off her dress, stepping out of it and tossing it, revealing a black leather corset and charcoal pinstriped capris. KvK falls back against the ropes, careful not to spill his beer of course, fanning himself. Her glasses, pearl necklace, earrings, and shoes follow, some in the crowd yelling in surprise as they get hit with them. Klaus chuckles to himself watching the pandemonium and sipping his beer, something he always does when women lose their clothes.

Her “Mom” persona fully removed, the crowd gazes upon Jezebel Saint, the tattooed and usually alcohol infused vixen of wrestling. She stands on a turnbuckle and throws up the horns to the crowd and they erupt, horns popping up all over the place, the crowd screaming even more as she starts head banging to the song, her red hair flying around her head wildly. She leaps off the ropes into the center of the ring, turning to KvK, who is standing there holding a pair of knee high zip up high heeled leather boots out to her. She thanks him with a smile and slips them on. When she turns to him again, he holds out a beer for her, but she shakes her head smiling and thanking him as she pulls a flask out of the front of her corset. He smiles and they toast each other, both downing the contents of their respective containers. They both turn to the crowd again, this time Klaus grabbing one of Jezebel’s hands and throwing her arm up in the air. The crowd goes wild again and she takes another bow. The two start to make their exit as the song ends, stepping over Mickey Dragon’s prone body and the cookies littering the mat.

Hanson: "May Roberts' soul go to a better place, free of chunky Asians, who do flips."

T-Robosaurus Rex
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Posts: 3,292

Toxic Intent Results Jul 22, 2009 15:12:26 GMT -5

Quote

Post by T-Robosaurus Rex on Jul 22, 2009 15:12:26 GMT -5

Vinegar: It’s been a great night of GIW action so far, simply unforgettable!

Hanson: But up next we’re going to see the co-Undisputed Champion in action!

Vinegar: This next match came about when Moss Edwards decided to put his shot at Travis Roberts and the Unified Global Heavyweight Championship on hold, choosing instead to deal with Donovan Hastings.

Hanson: The Lord-Chief has made it his mission to eliminate the pretenders to the throne he shares with the Blessed One!

Vinegar: You know, Hastings himself seems to have dropped that, maybe you should too.

Hanson: Oh, Nick, you shame me.

The newsie extra appears at the top of a darkened stage, slams his clapperboard with a proud cry of “Action”. Sparks rain off the Globaltron as the Dark of the Matinee starts to play. The crowd cheers wildly. Moss Edwards walks out to the stage followed by Grace Harding.

Dennis: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by Grace Harding. From Hollywood, California, weighing in at 180lbs! The Auteuuuuuuur, Moss Edwaaaaaaaaards!!!

Hanson: The Lord-Chief is going to dismantle Edwards just like he did that other peasant, Diamond Jack Severino!

Vinegar: I would think you’d be upset about that, given we also haven’t seen Gabby since.

Hanson: Sure, rub salt in the wound.

Immortal hits the PA system, and Donovan Hastings walks out to the stage, a focused expression on his face as he stares at Moss Edwards.

Hanson: Oh no! The Lord-Chief’s cloak is missing! It must have been stolen.

Vinegar: I doubt that.

Hanson: You can’t be implying that he forgot it.

Vinegar: I don’t think he forgot it, either.

Hanson: You’re right! We’re simply watching “The Lord-Chief’s New Clothes.” That’s brilliant, I love it!

Dennis: And his opponent, from Hartford, Connecticut, weighing in at 230 pounds, Donovan, Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaastings!

Hanson: That’s not the proper way to introduce the Lord-Chief!

Vinegar: You’re really not getting it, are you? Hastings has abandoned his Lord-Chief gimmick entirely.

Hanson: I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Vinegar: In any case, Hazel East has signaled for the bell, and this match is underway. Tie-up in the middle of the ring, Hastings gets Edwards into a side headlock, Edwards pushes out of it, but Hastings comes off the ropes and knocks him down with a hard shoulder tackle.

Hanson: Ow.

Vinegar: Edwards trying to get right back to his feet, but Hastings uses a double leg takedown, appears to be looking for an early submission hold, but Edwards kicks him away.

Hanson: Ow.

Vinegar: Edwards right up and he charges at Hastings, but Hastings takes him down with a hip toss, and drops onto him into another side headlock, and Hastings is looking very sharp early here in this match.

Hanson: Ow.

Vinegar: What is wrong with you?

Hanson: I’m pinching myself.

Vinegar: Why?

Hanson: Gabby is gone, the Lord-Chief has abdicated his throne….this can’t be real!

Vinegar: What will you do if Travis Roberts loses?

Hanson: OW!

Vinegar: Edwards trying to get back to his feet, Hastings still has that headlock in place, but Edwards elbows him in the chest repeatedly, and knocks him away, and as Hastings comes back Edwards pulls him into a sidewalk slam. Moss pauses a moment to catch his breath, and as Hastings starts to get up Edwards whips him into the corner. Edwards charges in, looking for the Fade Out, but Hastings moves out of the way, and Edwards’s momentum as he hits the corner takes him over the ropes and spilling to ringside!

Hanson: I got it!

Vinegar: What?

Hanson: The Lord-Chief is just lulling him into a false sense of security.

Vinegar: What he is, is focused in a way we’ve never seen before, and Donovan comes to the outside, and he grabs Edwards by the head and slams him into the ring post! Hazel East is ordering Hastings back into the ring, and he rolls in but immediately rolls back out.

East: 1!

2!

3!

Vinegar: Hastings has Edwards, and he whips him right into the steel steps!

East: 4!

5!

Vinegar: Donovan is back in the ring and East admonishes him, but Donovan is pointing back at the outside.

Hanson: He’s right, she should be finishing the count!

East: 6!

7!

8!

9!

Vinegar: Edwards rolls back into the ring, but Donovan greets him with a kick to the chest! He drags Edwards to the center of the ring and covers with a lateral press…

1!

2!

Vinegar: Edwards kicks out! Hastings pulls him up and goes to whip him across the ring, but Edwards reverses it, only for Hastings to springboard off the ropes into an arm drag, sending Edwards sprawling! He tries to get up as Hastings charges, but Edwards quickly counters with a drop toe hold, dropping Hastings onto the ropes, and Edwards leaps onto a turnbuckle, Thumbs Down! Both men down at ringside!

Hanson: Edwards is an idiot! You can’t use moves that are going to take yourself out as well, when you’re faced with the might of the Lord-Chief!

Vinegar: I really think you need to stop calling him that.

Hanson: Stop crushing my dreams!

Vinegar: Both men slow to their feet, but Edwards is up first, and he staggers Hastings with a knife edge chop and shoves him into the ring. Moss up on the apron as Donovan stumbles up, and Edwards hits the Casting Session, pinning predicament!

1!

2!

Vinegar: Hastings kicks out! He’s trying to get up, Edwards springboards off the ropes…

Hanson: But the Lord-Chief catches him in a spinebuster! Long live the Lord!

Vinegar: Would you stop that? Hastings standing over Moss, he’s got him by the legs, and he’s putting him into a cloverleaf submission hold!

Hanson: Tap, you fool! Pay homage to the Lord!

Vinegar: Might want to be careful what you wish for there, meanwhile Edwards stretching out, and he’s got hold of the ropes, Hazel East signaling for a break.

Hanson: She had better stop yelling at the Lord like that!

Vinegar: Hastings coming off the ropes as Edwards is getting up, but Edwards catches him with Dramatic Effect, and it knocks Hastings into the corner! Edwards sets him up on the top rope.

Hanson: Wait a second…what is he doing?

Vinegar: You asked for an Homage, and you’re going to get one!

Hanson: You can’t use Inevitability on the Lord!

Vinegar: And he won’t, as Hastings counters into a hurricarana! Edwards tries to get right up, but Hastings kicks him in the chest and hits a Facebreaker DDT! Hastings back to his feet, but he stops suddenly.

Hanson: What is he looking at?

Vinegar: Hastings seems to be distracted by something out in the crowd.

Hanson: Get on Edwards! Finish him!

Vinegar: Hastings still staring into the crowd, he’s pulling Edwards up slowly, still looking out.

Hanson: I’m looking, I don’t see anything! What is he looking at!

Vinegar: AND EDWARDS CAPITALIZES AND HITS THE TWIST ENDING!!!!

Hanson: No!

Vinegar: He’s got the leg hooked!

1!

2!

3!

Dennis: Here is your winner, MOSSSSS EDWARRRRRRRRRRRRRDS!!!!!

Vinegar: Hastings seemed to be in control of this match, but something he saw in the crowd distracted him, so much that not only could Moss hit the Twist Ending, but he got a pin out of it!

Hanson: That was a twist!

Vinegar: Edwards celebrating with Ms. Harding, meanwhile Hastings has taken off through the crowd!

Hanson: Where is he going?

Vinegar: We’ll try to get a camera on him, meanwhile Moss Edwards has beaten Donovan Hastings here tonight!

Moss Edwards: 10

Donovan Hastings: 9

Hanson: "May Roberts' soul go to a better place, free of chunky Asians, who do flips."

T-Robosaurus Rex
Administrator

Posts: 3,292

Toxic Intent Results Jul 22, 2009 15:12:46 GMT -5

Quote

Post by T-Robosaurus Rex on Jul 22, 2009 15:12:46 GMT -5

Vinegar: Folks, we'll get to the main event in just a moment, but we're being told that our camera crew has tracked down Donovan Hastings!

Hastings is shown in the concession area, knocking over a popcorn machine as people scatter.

Hastings: WHERE IS SHE!?!??!

Hastings grabs the vendor by the shirt.

Hastings: WHERE?

?

Vendor: I don't...I don't know!

Two security guards rush up to him.

Guard: Let him go, Mr. Hastings.

Donovan stares at the guard, and after a moment lets go of the vendor.

Hastings: I saw her.

Guard: I'm sure you did, but I think your night has gone on long enough.

Donovan glares at him, but lowers his head.

Guard: Let's go, Mr. Hastings.

Donovan stares at the spilled popcorn.

Hastings: Mr. Hastings...

The guards escort Donovan away, but as the camera pans to the watching crowd, standing in it is Calypso Desmona.

Vinegar: Woah! theres a blast from the past!

Hanson: Huh?

Vinegar: Didn't you see her, Calypso, THATS why Donovan was distracted...just as he seemed to be coming to terms with losing her...she reappears!

Hanson: Wellt here was no other way Moss could have got the win over the Lord Chief...I'm surprised I didn't realise earlier...

Vinegar: Regardless...This is it it's time!

Hanson: For what?

Vinegar: Oh Lord give me strength. Our Pay Per View main event, here at Toxic Intent! The Unified Global Title is on the line!

Hanson: Oh wow, it’s that time already!?

Vinegar: It sure is Dan.

Hanson: Wow, that just flew by.

Vinegar: Really?

Hanson: No.

Vinegar: Well, you’re about to get your filled of the Blessed One so cheer up.

Hanson: Whoop!

Vinegar: Thought you’d like that.

Hanson: Who doesn’t?

Vinegar: No-one, but not always for the same reason as you do.

Hanson: What other reason is there then to bask in his infinite blessedness?

Vinegar: Is that even a word?

Hanson: Yeah fool, look it up.

Vinegar: I’ll take your word for it.

Hanson: You do that. Now answer the question.

Vinegar: Well a lot of people will be happy to just see Travis Roberts get his head beaten in.

Hanson: When has that ever happened?

Vinegar: Well there was last years Tox-
Hanson: I didn’t ask for a history lesson Niglet.

The lights slowly fade until the arena is filled once again with near pitch darkness. A can opens. A lighter is struck. The crowd go wild. Wonder What’s Next hit’s the speakers. The Globaltron lights up.

RED

BULL

ICON

In their glow Randy Boolzian can be making his way out to the top of the ramp. His silhouette can be seen gulping down the contents of a can before throwing it over his shoulder. Turning his head he takes one long drag from the cigarette in his other hand before tossing the butt over his shoulder. As it hit’s the ground hug pyros erupt along the stage, revealing BoolZ fully. As they fade the lights come up again and he makes his way down the ramp.

Dennis: The following contest is your GIW Toxic Intent Pay Per View Main Event! This match is scheduled for one fall and is for the UNIFIED GLOBAL TITLE!! Introducing first the challenger! From Oceanside, California, weighing in at 220lbs! The Red Bull Icon! Randy Boolziaaaaaaaaaaaaan!!!

BoolZ gets down to the ring and climbs up the steps onto the apron. He climbs between the ropes into the ring and takes a moment to wave around the ring to the still crazy fans.

Vinegar: Randy Boolzian, the only surviving member of Team MJ that won Number 1 contendership in Mexico one month ago.

Hanson: Jack will survive, possibly.

Vinegar: That’s not what I meant. 3 weeks ago we expected to be seeing a fatal four way match up as all three members of Mary-Joanna Roberts successful team challenged for the Unified Global Title.

Hanson: Are you sure it’s really called the Unified Global Title?

Vinegar: It’s what everyone’s called it for at least 7 months now and anyone who thinks differently is likely an idiot.

Hanson: Heh, yeah.

Vinegar: Due to the actions of Donovan Hastings though this has come down to a singles match. First the brutal attack on Diamond Jack Severino-
Hanson: Ah, it really was.

Vinegar: And the resulting challenger from Moss Edwards resulting in the match we just witnessed. Lead to this, the decider.

Hanson: The decider?

Vinegar: It’s Roberts vs. Boolzian III. One win apiece, these two will do battle once more with the Unified Title on the line.

Bummer starts to play to the typically confused but none-the-less enthusiastic reaction from the crowd. The suspense builds as at first no-one appears. Thirty seconds in and drumming heralds the Headliner’s appearance which only further inspires the fans. Travis raises the Unified Global title belt above his head in his right hand. A moment later he moves his left out from behind his back to reveal the TWiSTeD Fight Club title belt too.

Hanson: What the heck is that?

As the second belt is thrust into the air the Globaltron shows the image of a Yin-Yang as pyros erupt around it, forming the vague shape of circling dragons around it.

Vinegar: How can you not recognise the distinctive TWiSTeD Fight Club title belt? We’ve seen it enough.

Hanson: I don’t make a point of remembering defunct titles.

Vinegar: Even ones held by Travis Roberts?

Hanson: It’s clearly the TWiSTeD Fight Club belt Nick. How can you not know that?

Vinegar: What? I just told yo-

Hanson: Don’t attempt to recover now. Your ignorance has been exposed for all to see.

Vinegar: Oh Christ.

Hanson: Travis isn’t going to answer your prayers now.

Vinegar: The TWiSTeD Fight club belt not on the line tonight but still an item of much controversy here in GIW. It seemed to have died down in the run up to Affirmative Action but here it is again.

Hanson: Travis clearly wants to show FoolZ another title he wants and will never have.

Vinegar: Didn’t BoolZ have possession of the belt? In fact, didn’t he give it to Travis?

Hanson: Only because he took is from the Rainbow Serpent.

While Nick and Dan have rambled on Travis has started to make his way towards the ring, one belt held over each shoulder.

Dennis: And introducing the Champion! From Phoenix, Arizona! Weighing in at 220lbs! He is your Global Impact Wrestling Unified Global Champion!!! The Blessed One, Travis Roberrrrrrrts!!!

Travis climbs into the ring up the steps and between the ropes. He holds the belts out in front of him for BoolZ to see from across the ring. Glenn Burke takes the Unified Global Title from him and Travis places the TWiSTeD fight club belt under the turnbuckle. The Unified Global Title belt is held up by the referee in the middle of the ring as the two competitors make their last second match preparations.

Vinegar: I can’t help it Dan. These Pay Per View main events. These big Unified Global Title matches always make the hairs on my arms stand on end.

Hanson: Just being able to see the Most Influential Man in Sports Entertainment this millennia in action makes mine stand Nick.

Vinegar: And you’re not talking about hair.

Hanson: …

Vinegar: Go on, think.

Hanson: Oh great, a penis joke? A gay penis joke. Real classy.

Vinegar: Coming from the main who spends so much time trashing Alex Kiseragi, I thought you’d appreciate it.

Hanson: That’s different Nick.

Vinegar: How?

Hanson: I’m not good at taking criticism.

Vinegar: You’re sure not.

Hanson: What do you mean by that?

Vinegar: Ha, good one.
Hanson: Uh, thanks?

Vinegar: I think we’ve talked long enough. This match is looking ready to get underway. Unified Global Title on the line.

Hanson: Ooooh yeah!

Vinegar: Last time we saw these two go one on one, what we got was an all out fight and I think we can expect much the same.

Hanson: Quite likely.

Ding! Ding!

Vinegar: Well we’re about to find out as these two...lock up?

Hanson: Yes it’s a collar and elbow tie up. Don’t sound so confused.

Vinegar: Well I know what it is but I was expecting wild haymakers. These two have locked up in the middle of the ring. Touch wood-

Hanson: Oh another penis joke. Great.

Vinegar: It’s a saying idiot. Touch wood, we may get a sporting wrestling contest.

Hanson: If the Headliner has his way, which he practically always does, that’s exactly what it’ll be.

Vinegar: Both men jockeying for an advantage but Travis only able to force BoolZ into a corner and the referee steps in to separate them.

Hanson: Travis as usual, following Burke’s instructions and letting BoolZ out.

Vinegar: They tie it up again and Roberts catches him off balance to put in an arm wringer. BoolZ, one handed cartwheel out, counters with a wringer of his own and takes him over with an arm drag and keeps hold of it.

Hanson: This won’t take long for Travis to counter.

Vinegar: Indeed not, Travis quickly able to twist himself out and knocks BoolZ onto his back with a low front dropkick. BoolZ rolls back it straight back up to his feet though, but Travis is quick to recover too.

Hanson: As ever.

Vinegar: And it’s another stand off. Third tie up in the middle of the ring and this time Travis able to send BoolZ off running to the ropes and knocks him down with a shoulder block on the return.

Hanson: Have you ever felt Travis’s pecks? They’re like a wall.

Vinegar: No I haven’t and I wonder when and under what circumstances you have.

Hanson: Well maybe I haven’t, technically.

Vinegar: So you’ve just dreamt about them.

Hanson: Fuck you.

Vinegar: Travis off the ropes now, BoolZ thrown at his feet though. Travis steps over and rebounds again. BoolZ with a leapfrog, Travis rebounds again. Dropkick by the Red Bull Icon!

Hanson: And unsurprisingly it’s Foolzian who’s first to take away the sportsmanship.

Vinegar: How do you figure? The dropkick is a legitimate professional wrestling technique.

Hanson: A kick to the face! He’s has the gall to kick the Blessed One in the face!

Vinegar: Are you worried he won’t be so pretty for you after?

Hanson: You really are classless Nicholas Vinegar.

Vinegar: Coming from you that’s probably a compliment. BoolZ bringing a stunned-

Hanson: Stunned!?

Vinegar: Shaken?

Hanson: Hmm, acceptable.

Vinegar: BoolZ bringing a shaken Travis to his feet again. Quickly taken over with a snapmare. Stiff kick to the spine and another dropkick, to the back of the head this time.

Hanson: Is a kick in the back a ‘legitimate professional wrestling technique’ too?

Vinegar: Not so much but it’s certainly effective. BoolZ with an early cover.

1!
Vinegar: Clearly not going to be enough. BoolZ dragging Travis back up but The Headliner has recovered his senses and bull rushes RBI into the corner. He’s got him pinned in there and Randy holds his hands up out of the way. Referee stepping in to separate them again.

Hanson: Oh now FoolZ plays the innocent.

Vinegar: Travis slowly straightening up. Boot to the gut from Travis. How’s that for your sportsmanship?

Hanson: He’s been clearly provoked.

Vinegar: Travis doubled BoolZ over with that shot and is just laying hammer fists down onto his back. Straightens him up again, big overhand chop across the chest. I heard that one down here.

Crowd: Whoo!

Hanson: Don’t they get bored of that?

Vinegar: Doesn’t look like it. Travis just flings him across the ring with another Irish Whip. Charging in from the other side, big corner clothesline!

Hanson: That almost took his head off. Watch BoolZ just slump onto his face.

Vinegar: Travis rolling BoolZ over and going for the early cover this time.

1!

Vinegar: Again, clearly not going to be enough. Travis seems a little more frustrated about it though and puts the boots to BoolZ on the ground. BoolZ reaches for the ropes though and Glenn Burke forces another break.

Hanson: Who’s he to get involved?

Vinegar: Uh, the referee, obviously. He’s back Travis up to a safe distance but BoolZ is slow getting to his feet.

Hanson: Feet? He’s still on his knees.

Vinegar: Nothing wrong with catching your breath. He’s back up now and this ones on again. Travis wasting no time trying to charge him again but BoolZ is ready and sidesteps him at the last moment. Travis off the ropes and BoolZ with a hip toss. The Red Bull Icon putting the boots in this time.

Hanson: Get in there ref!

Vinegar: Turnabout seems to be fair play in Randy Boolzian’s book and Travis is sent scrambling to the edge of the ring, wrapping himself around the bottom rope.

Hanson: One day we’re going to have to have a very in depth review of your vocabulary during the Blessed Ones matches.

Vinegar: Yeah yeah, he doesn’t scramble. But it sure looked like it there. Glenn Burke naturally calling it down the middle and splitting them up again.

Hanson: Good call Glenn.

Vinegar: BoolZ willingly backing up and letting Travis recover.

Hanson: A typically Boolzian level bad decision.

Vinegar: Nothing to tell these two apart in the early stages here. Great back and forth action. Travis back up and BoolZ charges. Clothesline over the top rope!

Hanson: Any hope of a sporting contest seem to have disappeared now. BoolZ is taking it to the outside.

Vinegar: It’s his home turf. The former Hardcore Champion can brawl with the best. Slingshot cross body to the outside by BoolZ, crashes down on the Headliner. The fans here love it!

Hanson: That’s because they’re simple.

Vinegar: Well we’re still in L.A., these are our home fans.

Hanson: Exactly.

Vinegar: Have fun on your way home. BoolZ up to his feet and picking Travis up with him. Irish whip to the corner post.

Hanson: No, Travis able to catch himself!

Vinegar: BoolZ take a back elbow as he tries to follow and Travis slides back into the ring.

Hanson: Where they should be.

Vinegar: BoolZ follows him in and Travis drops an elbow onto his exposed back. BoolZ quick to retreat back down to the floor. He sweeps Travis’s legs out from under him. Boolz on the apron. Slingshot leg drop onto the Headliner.

Hanson: You just can’t take peoples legs from the outside like that.

Vinegar: I think in the list of wrestling misdemeanours it’s pretty low down. BoolZ able to bring Travis back up again and takes him over with a snap suplex. Randy headed to the top rope.

Hanson: Bad decision again. BoolZ isn’t a lucky man. High risk is not his friend.

Vinegar: Travis getting up. Missile dropkick connects! You were saying.

Hanson: Yo momma was saying.

Vinegar: BoolZ with the cover.

1!

2!

Vinegar: Another kick out by Travis.

Hanson: An easy one at that.

Vinegar: Well it was a solid two count and BoolZ seems to be the first one to be able to take full control of this one.

Hanson: Oh three moves and he’s in ‘full control’ is he? We’ll see about that.

Vinegar: I’m certain we will. BoolZ has got Travis onto his side and put a couple of hard knee shots right into the middle of his back. Bow and arrow lock, he’s just got to roll back. Yes, there it is, the bow and arrow locked in, BoolZ just wrenching down on the head and legs.

Hanson: Another bad decision. I should really be keeping a tally. BoolZ can’t go technical with a ringmaster like the Blessed One. He should have stuck to trying to brawl.

Vinegar: Well this seems to be working. Travis is almost bent in half, out of reach of the ropes and with no way of manoeuvring himself. The pain is etched upon his face.

Hanson: Again with your foul language! That’s determination!

Vinegar: Oh, sorry, he’s determined to be in a lot of pain.

Hanson: One day heathen, one day.

Vinegar: That’s not creepy at all. Travis struggling-

Hanson: Adjusting himself.

Vinegar: Trying to pry that hand away from his neck. He bit it! Travis just bit BoolZ’s hand!

Hanson: Outrageous! BoolZ clearly tried to punch him in the mouth!

Vinegar: Either way Travis has got his head free and pushed himself back up to his feet. He’s hurt though. BoolZ not having too much trouble recovering from that biting and back on his feet too. He’s caught Travis unaware and puts the forearm right into that lower back.

Hanson: BoolZ now targeting an injured body part. Real sporting.

Vinegar: I think it’s ok when it’s an injury you created through completely legal means.

Hanson: What’s illegal about busting up someone’s knee with a fire extinguisher?

Vinegar: I’m not even going to start trying to explain the difference. Travis trying to escape to the corner but BoolZ is still on him. Irish whip across the ring, BoolZ on the charge. No Fly Zone!

Hanson: Countered! Travis countered with a perfectly timed sit down power bomb.

Vinegar: He may have managed a counter but he still took some of that impact and BoolZ didn’t have far to fall. Both men slumped down in the corner, Travis unable to attempt the pin.

Hanson: Unwilling. He’s putting on a show, it’s time for the heroes big comeback. Cue the music!

Vinegar: …

Hanson: Yeah!

Vinegar: I don’t hear anything.

Hanson: It’s the Rocky music.

Vinegar: Where?

Hanson: In my head.

Vinegar: Oh of course. They’re starting to stir, Travis is up first and here’s something we don’t see often. The Blessed One is headed to the top rope.

Hanson: Travis Roberts can do it all. We just saves some things for special occasions.

Vinegar: That back clearly still slowing him down and has give BoolZ enough time to recover. He’s quickly up to meet him. Trading blows high above the ring, BoolZ seems to get the better of the exchange. Could be going for a superplex.

Hanson: No! Travis blocked it and shoved BoolZ off! He hit the mat hard.

Vinegar: Travis seeing an opportunity, getting his balance. Diving elbow drop…connects! Here’s a cover.

1!

2!

Vinegar: No, BoolZ able to kick out.

Hanson: So much for your full control.

Vinegar: Both men able to steal momentum at the most opportune moments. Travis seems frustrated though.

Hanson: Wouldn’t you be? That’d have been a perfect movie ending.

Vinegar: Well his big ending is going to have to wait. Travis getting back to his feet and getting RBI up too. Hip strike into the mid-section and a second. BoolZ lashes out with a huge left hand but Travis able to duck it. German suplex! A huge grunt of pain just came from the Headliner as he hoisted the Red Bull Icon up but he managed to plant him right on the back of his head.

Hanson: That was a grunt of victory. Like ‘Adrian!’ but less sissy.

Vinegar: Travis seems to think so, he’s gone for another cover.

1!

2!

Vinegar: Foot on the ropes! BoolZ had a foot on the ropes! Great ring awareness.

Hanson: When you reach for the ropes it means one thing. You don’t have enough left to kick out. This match is as good as won.

Vinegar: Travis still in control and hoisting BoolZ to his feet once again. BoolZ with a shot to the gut and Travis responds with a clubbing blow to the back that knocks him down. Quick to push himself back up though and throws off Travis’s grip and shoves him away.

Hanson: Oh no, not the shove!

Vinegar: Clothesline attempt by Travis, BoolZ ducks and takes the arm, spins him around…Discomboo-!

Hanson: Not this time Nick. The Blessed One blocks it. Northern Lig-

Vinegar: Not this time Dan. The Blessed Ones back gives out. Swinging neck breaker by Randy Boolzian. BoolZ back up, rolling Travis onto his front. Camel Clutch! Great hold, pulling back on the neck and back of the Headliner.

Hanson: Why would he choose a hold so easily countered?

Vinegar: What do you mean? He’s got that locked in tight.

Hanson: Just saying, bad decision.

Vinegar: Travis looks like he might tap.

Hanson: We’ll see.

Vinegar: Well call me a monkeys uncle, Travis able to shift back between BoolZ’s legs and drop him with a back double leg takedown. Tries to float over but BoolZ is able to roll over and pulls down the middle rope. Travis gets sent back out to the floor.

Hanson: And it’s back to the brawl. Sheer desperation on show by the Overgrown Chump.

Vinegar: Who’s being lured into a false sense of security by Travis Roberts?

Hanson: Of course.

Vinegar: BoolZ drops out to the floor after him, Travis slow to recover. BoolZ with a hard right hand knocks him back down off his knees. RBI dragging him up this time and slams his head down on our table. These two are battling mere feet in front of our faces.

Hanson: You can smell them Nick!
Vinegar: Try to control yourself Dan, don’t let the Blessed One’s musk overcome you.

Hanson: But it’s so manly.

Vinegar: ?

Hanson: *cough* So how about Gabrielle, she’s a looker. Phwoar!

Vinegar: Smooth recovery. BoolZ shoving Travis back towards the ring and he hit’s the apron hard on that bad neck and back. Travis tries to get back into the ring but BoolZ pulls him back out.

Hanson: Yup, BoolZ has sure given up on that wrestling match malarkey. It’s time for the fight.

Vinegar: Travis trying to fight back with some stiff right hands but BoolZ slams his head against the apron this time. Glenn Burke is telling them to get back in the ring.

Hanson: You tell that disease infested junkie Glenn.

Vinegar: And Travis just grabbed his leg. He seems to be pleading-

Hanson: Laying out a clear and concise reasoning.

Vinegar: For the referee to give him a break. Low blow!

Hanson: I saw nothing.

Vinegar: It was all a ploy by the Headliner, as Glenn Burke was looking at him and BoolZ tried to follow up that mule kick just took him in the crotch.

Hanson: Don’t insult Glenn Burke’s intelligence. I think he’d notice if there was an illegal low blow and this match is still going so it must not have happened.

Vinegar: So why is BoolZ on the ground clutching at his crotch?

Hanson: His Chlamydia probably flared up.

Vinegar: Riiight. Travis rolls in and out to restart the ref’s count. He’s got BoolZ back onto his feet. Full Nelson locked in….and slammed onto the edge of the apron.

Hanson: What a move!

Vinegar: A heavy blow right onto the hard corner of the apron. Now he’s looking right at us.
Hanson: He’s looking right at me!

Vinegar: Scratch that, he’s eyeing up our table. I think we should move. Travis has got BoolZ by the neck and just rolled him onto the table here.

Hanson: Don’t touch him, I hear he’s permanently infectious.

Vinegar: I’m more worried about catching whatever impact Travis Roberts has planned. Both men on the table, on their feet. BoolZ head is down, DD-

Hanson: It’s not a DDT Nick, he’s going to hit the White Out! This one is going to be over right here. He’s got him up.

Vinegar: And his back gives out again. BoolZ throws off the grip. Facebuster!

Hanson: The table holds!

Vinegar: Seems past experience has paid off and we’ve been given a somewhat sturdier announce table. Travis’s head just bounced right off it. BoolZ slides back in the ring. Burke’s count is almost at 10.

Hanson: The title won’t change hands on a count out.

Vinegar: I think BoolZ has just realised that too and told the referee to stop counting. He’s headed to the top rope. Oh no.

Hanson: Bad decision.

Vinegar: No, no, no, Randy, stop! Think about this! Don’t do it!

Hanson: Bad, bad, bad decision. This is a full on 10 on the Boolzian scale.

Vinegar: BoolZ is on the top rope. Oh my- SHOOTING STAR PRESS!!!

Hanson: NO!

Vinegar: Connects! BoolZ just crashed through the table with Travis under him. Even our new improved table couldn’t take that!

Crowd: Ho-ly-shit! Ho-ly-shit!

Hanson: My m&m’s!

Vinegar: M&M’s!? Two men could be seriously hurt!

Hanson: Blessed One!

Vinegar: Neither man has moved, we may need some help out here.

Hanson: Throw it out. That’ll do.

Vinegar: I think deep down, even Burke doesn’t want to see Travis hold onto the gold. This match is still on.

Hanson: I’ll destroy him.

Vinegar: The EMT’s are headed this way and- BoolZ is moving. The Red Bull Icon is moving! He’s pushing himself up and yelling at the medical staff to stay away. Travis looks dead as BoolZ hauls up his dead weight and rolls it into the ring.

Hanson: No, no, o, no, happy place, happy place.

Vinegar: We’ll keep calling this match even if we have to stand here to do it. BoolZ has got Travis in and is slowly rolling in after him.

Hanson: Please, please, please, please, please.

Vinegar: BoolZ drags him right to the middle of the ring. He’s not taking any chances. There’s the cover, hook’s the leg. We have a new champion!

1!

2!

Hanson: KICK OUT! HE KICKED OUT!

Vinegar: I don’t think anyone can believe it. Travis Roberts on pure instinct, able to get a shoulder up.

Hanson: And they say Brandon Brown is resilient.

Vinegar: I think BoolZ of all people is dumbstruck. He almost killed them both. He’s dragging Travis back to his feet. Looking to finish this once and for all. DISCOMBOOLZ-!!!

Hanson: NO! Travis able to fight it off again and shoves BoolZ at the ropes.

Vinegar: RBI bounces off at speed. Ducks a lariat from Travis. Off the middle rope. Springboard-Twisted Steele!

Hanson: Powerslam!!!

Vinegar: BoolZ just got plucked out of the air with a desperation power slam by the headliner. That could be it but Travis can’t make the cover. Neither man moving and the referee has no choice but to begin the count.

1!

2!

3!

4!

5!

6!

Hanson: Travis is moving! He’s draped over an arm!

1!

2!

Vinegar: Kick out by BoolZ! Kick out by BoolZ!

Hanson: Dammit all to hell!

Vinegar: Neither man has anything left to give but they’re still going anyway. Both trying to get up and battling all the way. Trading blows from the ground, from their knees, now standing.

Hanson: Cue the music!

Vinegar: Has it been playing this whole time?

Hanson: There was a lull but it’s back stronger than ever.

Vinegar: Travis with the heavier hands, rocks BoolZ back. Enziguri! RBI counters with an enziguri and Travis goes down. BoolZ not going for the cover though.

Hanson: Of course not, that’d be smart.

Vinegar: I think he knows full well he needs something bigger. He’s headed up top.

Hanson: He can’t hit anything bigger from up there then he already has.

Vinegar: He doesn’t have to. Travis is getting back to his feet and BoolZ is stalking him from up there like a hawk.

Hanson: He can’t be thinking what I think he’s thinking can he?

Vinegar: I think he is.

Hanson: How can he think that’s a good idea after last time?

Vinegar: I don’t know but he does. Travis is wide open, right in front of him. It’s time for the Stargazer!

Hanson: TRLAOGCIAFSOS!!!!

Vinegar: What?

Hanson: You know what it means. Travis just launched up to the top rope.

Vinegar: BoolZ was just about to commit and Travis regained his senses. Hard shot to the gut as he bounds up the ropes. Head down-

Hanson: Arms crossed!

Vinegar & Hanson: WHITE OUT!!!

Vinegar: NO!

Hanson: YES!

Vinegar: WITH A BLOOD CURDLING SCREECH OF PAIN, TRAVIS ROBERTS HOISTS RANDY BOOLZIAN UP AND HIT’S THE WHITE OUT FROM THE TOP ROPE!!!

Hanson: COVER!!! HOOKS THE LEG!!!

1!

2!

3!

DING MUTHA FUCKING DING!!!

Hanson: IT’S OVER!!! HE DID IT!!!

Dennis: Here is your winner and STILL, GIW UNIFIED GLOBAL CHAMPION!!!! TRAVIIIIIIIIIIIS ROBERRRRRRRRRRRRTS!!!!!!!!!!!

Vinegar: Dan I don’t think I can believe what we just saw.

Hanson: Me neither Nick, me neither.

Bummer starts to play. In the ring Travis is on his knees as he is passed both title belts. He clutches them to his chest them holds them high above his head. He forces himself to his feet and slowly climbs the winning turnbuckle to pose again. As he jumps down, his eyes focus on the still unmoving Randy Boolzian.

Crowd: Is-he-dead? Is-he-dead? Is-he-dead?

Hanson: Probably.

Vinegar: No, BoolZ is stirring though when the pain sets in he’ll likely wish he was still out.

Hanson: For anyone who was still in doubt that’s 2 - 1 to the Blessed One. The greatest man in the world!

BoolZ manages to sit up, holding his head which is remarkably in tact. As he looks around his gaze meets that of the Champion. They just stare for a second that seems like an hour before Travis lays the belts onto his shoulders, and claps, once, twice, three times, then drops out of the ring.

Hanson: Ha, and now Travis with a great sarcastic clap. Classic Headliner.

Vinegar: That didn’t feel sarcastic to me. I think that was very genuine.

Hanson: Couldn’t be.

Vinegar: Something tells me it’s another thing we’ll surely find out.

Travis makes his way around the ring as BoolZ manages to get to his feet and hold himself up on the ropes.

Vinegar: And that’s it. I’ve been Nicholas Vinegar. My partner-

Hanson: No homo.

Vinegar: Has been Daniel Hanson. They have been GIW. This has been Toxic Intent. Good Night!

The GIW logo pops up as the final scene of Travis bearing aloft the title belts standing beneath the GlobaTron, showing the image of him, infinitely stretching back, fades to black.

Travis Roberts: 10

Randy Boolzian: 7

Hanson: "May Roberts' soul go to a better place, free of chunky Asians, who do flips."

T-Robosaurus Rex
Administrator

Posts: 3,292

Toxic Intent Results Jul 22, 2009 15:13:19 GMT -5

Quote

Post by T-Robosaurus Rex on Jul 22, 2009 15:13:19 GMT -5

Credits

Opening Shite

T-Rob

Momma’s Letter to Mickey
Your Momma

Nikko Nulty Nathans vs Chassie Fear
Declan Prescott

Travis and Donovan
T-Rob and Hastings

GIW.com Title Match
BoolZ[/b]

Battleground Qualifier
T-Rob

GIW Tag Team Championship Match
Moss

Yo Momma Reveals Herself
Your Momma

Moss vs Hastings
Hastings

Hastings Spots Calypso
Hastings

Main Event
A-Kis

Editor
T-Rob[/center]

Hanson: "May Roberts' soul go to a better place, free of chunky Asians, who do flips."

Unified Global Wrestling Coalition

IYH RP Deadline

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