Post by brandonbrown on Jul 25, 2009 21:09:26 GMT -5
(This is a GIW.com Exclusive. Brandon Brown is seen sitting with his head down. Brandon looks up to acknowledge the camera.)
Last Saturday at Toxic Intent, I lost the Global Heavyweight Championship. As you all may have guessed, I’m not in the best of moods right now. You wouldn’t be either if you just lost something you loved. I let myself down by losing that match.
More importantly, I let my fans down. I let down all of the fans that were cheering my name at Toxic Intent. There was that one douche in the front row who was cheering for Deathman so screw that guy. That’s the kind of guy who goes home and writes columns about how I suck. The kind of guy who is too much of a coward to get into the ring that he has to create his own character on the internet. That guy probably hasn’t had a girl friend in years.
Where was I? Oh yeah, I let down all of my loyal fans. You guys have stuck by me from the beginning and I failed you at Toxic Intent. I figured my match with Deathman would be a walk in the park. Sure, he had Savage and Cara out there but I thought I would win with ease.
I have also learned not to underestimate Lord Deathman. I didn’t think he would be a challenge. I didn’t think he would be tougher than Declan Prescott but I was wrong. Lord Deathman is a great performer who deserves to be the Global Heavyweight Champion.
There is this little thing that I like to call a rematch clause. I’m telling you right now, Lord Deathman. I will be using my rematch clause. I won’t be underestimating you this time. I’m bringing 110% to the table this time and I’m going to take back my title.
Now, I want to direct my attention towards Savage. Savage and I haven’t gotten along since day one. I cost him his opportunity at the GIW title in the first place. The fucking Nazi bastard just can’t get over the fact that I am better than him. Now, I blame myself for not thinking he was a concern during my match at Toxic Intent. I should have known better. He cost me my title. His day of reckoning is coming. When I’m done with Savage, he will be wishing he was being burned in a concentration camp.
You know after watching the tape of Toxic Intent, I realized three things. Cara Costello sucks at commentating. Daniel Hanson is a fucking annoying little prick who deserves to get his ass kicked. Finally, when Great White and Joka show up, the least they could do is hit a move on Deathman while they were there. I guess you know nothing when you have been Savage’s bitch for so long.
I really should do more interviews like this. It gets your frustration out.
I now would like to address Chris Austin. Austin and I exchanged a few words after Toxic Intent. At the time, I was really fucking pissed off. Right now I’m just kind of pissed off. So I have calmed down a little. He was getting on me about me making excuses for losing my match. I have to admit, I was making excuses. I really couldn’t handle losing. Losing is something that I am not used to doing unlike Big B. Austin was right though and we should be concentrating our efforts on stopping the Globo Gym Purple Cobras. Anybody out there get the Dodgeball reference. If you haven’t seen it, it stars Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn. It has its funny parts.
Boolz is one of my tag partners this week. The guy likes to drink Red Bull. I think he might need to cut back though. Boolz addiction to Red Bull is equal to Chris Austin’s addiction to sex.
Sean Jenson has a nice winning streak going. Is that important? No, not really. When will it end? I have no idea. Why am I talking about Sean Jenson? I don’t fucking know why. How did Sean Jenson pick up that Kat girl? Once again, another question I have no answer for.
Since I’m mentioning pointless GIW wrestlers, I might as well bring them all into this.
Brandon McSkinny with enough training could become a future GIW champion. He has all the skills at his disposal. He just needs to know how to grasp it. If McSkinny never becomes GIW champ, then Vinegar will eat his hat. Obviously though, I’m the better of us two Brandons.
Declan Prescott, get well soon. This place just isn’t the same without you. I was used to kicking your ass every week. I miss those good old times. Me and Declan fighting in epic battles like our Last Man Standing match, those were the days. Hell, I’ll give the devil his due. Our match at Infinity was awesome even. The outcome sucked though. One of these days, I will beat you by pinfall or submission.
Travis Roberts is one TWiSTed son of a bitch. Aaron “The Future” Kizz is interesting. One problem though, my uncle doctor Emmett Brown has already been to the future. I’m full of movie references. Prototype is a robot. As long as I let him kill Sarah Connor, then I should be good. That was another movie reference.
Nate G hangs out with Sean. So not much to talk about there. Hardcore Dylan James is supposedly one of those guys who is straight edge, the irony being is that he isn’t straight. Cara, Misery, Calypso, Kat, and Gabrielle are all eye candy and nothing else.
God, when did our roster expand so much. I figured I would have covered everybody by now. Aragato and Komosube are both Japanese Jackasses. I also would like to avenge my loss to Komosube one of these days. Fucking Deathman distracting me.
Diamond Jack has way too many nicknames that he will never live up to. Colonel A.P. Vanhorne will die of a heart attack in his first match. Jack “The Watchman” Ryans watches McSkinny masturbate. Levi is just Sean’s worthless brother.
Donovan Hastings wants to be immortalized forever. I don’t care. Watch the Fugitive starring Tommy Lee Jones and Harrison Ford, it is a good movie. I think there is one guy I haven’t mentioned yet. Fans, have you guessed who it is? I’ll give you ten seconds.
10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1
It’s Andy Savana! We can’t forget the crazy, pill popping Savana. He did main event GIW’s first PPV, you know. It’s a shame he lost though.
Fuck, I forgot to mention Big B. I haven’t seen him since Toxic Intent. He must be planning something. He might be eating though. It’s one of the two.
After mentioning all of the roster, all I have to say is I can beat every single one of you any day of the week. I’ve probably pissed some people off here but I don’t care. I’m simply the best around in wrestling today.
I might as well bring up my six man tag match this week. Chris Austin, do not worry. Your winning streak will extend to eleven and I will start a new winning streak of my own. Boolz, drink some Red Bull because this is going to be a fight. Deathman, my quest to avenging my title loss begins this week on Sentinel. I will get my revenge one way or another. Hastings and Aragato you both are stupid. Yeah, you guys are stupid.
Thanks for the interview GIW.com. For all my fans out there, I will regain my title. I promise.
Last Saturday at Toxic Intent, I lost the Global Heavyweight Championship. As you all may have guessed, I’m not in the best of moods right now. You wouldn’t be either if you just lost something you loved. I let myself down by losing that match.
More importantly, I let my fans down. I let down all of the fans that were cheering my name at Toxic Intent. There was that one douche in the front row who was cheering for Deathman so screw that guy. That’s the kind of guy who goes home and writes columns about how I suck. The kind of guy who is too much of a coward to get into the ring that he has to create his own character on the internet. That guy probably hasn’t had a girl friend in years.
Where was I? Oh yeah, I let down all of my loyal fans. You guys have stuck by me from the beginning and I failed you at Toxic Intent. I figured my match with Deathman would be a walk in the park. Sure, he had Savage and Cara out there but I thought I would win with ease.
I have also learned not to underestimate Lord Deathman. I didn’t think he would be a challenge. I didn’t think he would be tougher than Declan Prescott but I was wrong. Lord Deathman is a great performer who deserves to be the Global Heavyweight Champion.
There is this little thing that I like to call a rematch clause. I’m telling you right now, Lord Deathman. I will be using my rematch clause. I won’t be underestimating you this time. I’m bringing 110% to the table this time and I’m going to take back my title.
Now, I want to direct my attention towards Savage. Savage and I haven’t gotten along since day one. I cost him his opportunity at the GIW title in the first place. The fucking Nazi bastard just can’t get over the fact that I am better than him. Now, I blame myself for not thinking he was a concern during my match at Toxic Intent. I should have known better. He cost me my title. His day of reckoning is coming. When I’m done with Savage, he will be wishing he was being burned in a concentration camp.
You know after watching the tape of Toxic Intent, I realized three things. Cara Costello sucks at commentating. Daniel Hanson is a fucking annoying little prick who deserves to get his ass kicked. Finally, when Great White and Joka show up, the least they could do is hit a move on Deathman while they were there. I guess you know nothing when you have been Savage’s bitch for so long.
I really should do more interviews like this. It gets your frustration out.
I now would like to address Chris Austin. Austin and I exchanged a few words after Toxic Intent. At the time, I was really fucking pissed off. Right now I’m just kind of pissed off. So I have calmed down a little. He was getting on me about me making excuses for losing my match. I have to admit, I was making excuses. I really couldn’t handle losing. Losing is something that I am not used to doing unlike Big B. Austin was right though and we should be concentrating our efforts on stopping the Globo Gym Purple Cobras. Anybody out there get the Dodgeball reference. If you haven’t seen it, it stars Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn. It has its funny parts.
Boolz is one of my tag partners this week. The guy likes to drink Red Bull. I think he might need to cut back though. Boolz addiction to Red Bull is equal to Chris Austin’s addiction to sex.
Sean Jenson has a nice winning streak going. Is that important? No, not really. When will it end? I have no idea. Why am I talking about Sean Jenson? I don’t fucking know why. How did Sean Jenson pick up that Kat girl? Once again, another question I have no answer for.
Since I’m mentioning pointless GIW wrestlers, I might as well bring them all into this.
Brandon McSkinny with enough training could become a future GIW champion. He has all the skills at his disposal. He just needs to know how to grasp it. If McSkinny never becomes GIW champ, then Vinegar will eat his hat. Obviously though, I’m the better of us two Brandons.
Declan Prescott, get well soon. This place just isn’t the same without you. I was used to kicking your ass every week. I miss those good old times. Me and Declan fighting in epic battles like our Last Man Standing match, those were the days. Hell, I’ll give the devil his due. Our match at Infinity was awesome even. The outcome sucked though. One of these days, I will beat you by pinfall or submission.
Travis Roberts is one TWiSTed son of a bitch. Aaron “The Future” Kizz is interesting. One problem though, my uncle doctor Emmett Brown has already been to the future. I’m full of movie references. Prototype is a robot. As long as I let him kill Sarah Connor, then I should be good. That was another movie reference.
Nate G hangs out with Sean. So not much to talk about there. Hardcore Dylan James is supposedly one of those guys who is straight edge, the irony being is that he isn’t straight. Cara, Misery, Calypso, Kat, and Gabrielle are all eye candy and nothing else.
God, when did our roster expand so much. I figured I would have covered everybody by now. Aragato and Komosube are both Japanese Jackasses. I also would like to avenge my loss to Komosube one of these days. Fucking Deathman distracting me.
Diamond Jack has way too many nicknames that he will never live up to. Colonel A.P. Vanhorne will die of a heart attack in his first match. Jack “The Watchman” Ryans watches McSkinny masturbate. Levi is just Sean’s worthless brother.
Donovan Hastings wants to be immortalized forever. I don’t care. Watch the Fugitive starring Tommy Lee Jones and Harrison Ford, it is a good movie. I think there is one guy I haven’t mentioned yet. Fans, have you guessed who it is? I’ll give you ten seconds.
10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1
It’s Andy Savana! We can’t forget the crazy, pill popping Savana. He did main event GIW’s first PPV, you know. It’s a shame he lost though.
Fuck, I forgot to mention Big B. I haven’t seen him since Toxic Intent. He must be planning something. He might be eating though. It’s one of the two.
After mentioning all of the roster, all I have to say is I can beat every single one of you any day of the week. I’ve probably pissed some people off here but I don’t care. I’m simply the best around in wrestling today.
I might as well bring up my six man tag match this week. Chris Austin, do not worry. Your winning streak will extend to eleven and I will start a new winning streak of my own. Boolz, drink some Red Bull because this is going to be a fight. Deathman, my quest to avenging my title loss begins this week on Sentinel. I will get my revenge one way or another. Hastings and Aragato you both are stupid. Yeah, you guys are stupid.
Thanks for the interview GIW.com. For all my fans out there, I will regain my title. I promise.