Post by brandonbrown on Jul 25, 2009 21:44:18 GMT -5
(Brandon is seen walking through the desert following a naked Indian.)
Brandon: Didn’t this happen in Wayne’s World 2?
(Brandon follows the Indian until he stops.)
Brandon: Naked Indian, what are we doing here? Jim Morrison isn’t going to tell me to have a rock concert is he?
(The Global Heavyweight Championship belt appears before Brandon.)
Brandon: The GHC.
(Brandon bows before the belt.)
Brandon: I’m not worthy of you, belt.
GHC: You are worthy. You have won me twice before.
Brandon: You know when I usually talk to you. You sound feminine. Right now you sound like Jor-El from the Superman movies.
GHC: That’s because I wanted to sound more wise.
Brandon: It’s working.
GHC: You may be asking me, why did I call upon you today.
Brandon: Yeah, why did you call upon me?
GHC: I noticed you are traveling down a dark path. You must resist the temptation. You think a fucking belt is talking to you.
Brandon: Aren’t you?
GHC: Yes, but that is besides the point. I am sending you on a quest. A quest where you will no longer think a belt is talking to you. I quest that will help you regain your sanity.
Brandon: So you are sending me on a quest so I don’t think you are talking to me anymore?
GHC: It’s funny how the world works.
Brandon: The quest sounds fun. I could use some adventure and excitement.
(Yoda appears.)
Yoda: Adventure? Excitement? A Jedi craves not these things.
Brandon: You’re right, Yoda.
(Jim Morrison appears.)
Brandon: Jim Morrison. This is like Wayne’s World 2.
Jim: Not really. I’m only in here for the hell of it.
Brandon: Cool.
GHC: Back to more important matters. The quest I was going to send you on.
Brandon: Oh, right.
GHC: This quest requires that you be on your own. Don’t worry though, I will be there to guide you. In this quest, you will be looking for something.
Brandon: Treasure.
GHC: You could call it that.
Brandon: Where is it and what is it?
GHC: It is one of the most valuable things in the world. It is located in the Pentagon.
Brandon: The Pentagon. How am I supposed to get in there?
GHC: You will find a way.
Brandon: When do I start this quest?
GHC: Next week. This week you must celebrate Big B’s birthday.
Brandon: Why?
GHC: Because he is your favorite cousin.
Brandon: Okay.
GHC: You must buy him a bunch of things.
Brandon: All he wants is porn.
GHC: It’s because he is a lonely guy.
Brandon: Whatever.
GHC: Anyways, remember the quest that you must go on. You have to go to the Pentagon to find this treasure. It’s the only way to make you stop thinking that you are talking to a belt. I have spoken.
(Brandon wakes up in his bed.)
Brandon: What a weird dream?
(Big B walks in.)
Big B: Hey, guess what is so important about this day.
Brandon: I don’t know. I’ve got nothing.
Big B: It’s my birthday.
Brandon: Right, I had a dream about that.
Big B: What was the dream about?
Brandon: The Global Heavyweight Championship belt told me to go on a quest to the Pentagon to find this treasure.
Big B: Am I allowed to come?
Brandon: No, he said that I must go alone.
Big B: Interesting. Anything else?
Brandon: Yoda, Jim Morrison, and the weird naked Indian were there.
Big B: Cool. So are we going to go somewhere for my birthday?
Brandon: Sure. I have to get ready though.
Big B: Okay. I’ll give you time.
(Meanwhile, outside the window to Brandon’s room, Nicholas Cage is listening in on the conversation.)
Nicholas Cage: So Brandon knows about a new treasure. It’s in the Pentagon though. It will take me a week to prepare for this treasure hunt but I’ll beat Brandon to the treasure. You know why I will do this? Because my name is Nicholas Cage. This is what I do.
(Back to Big B. He is now by himself talking on a cell phone.)
Big B: Yeah, your thing that made me talk into his dream worked. He really thinks he has to go get a treasure from the Pentagon. Hopefully this will put an end to all of this belt nonsense. Thanks for your help. Goodbye.
(Brandon walks in.)
Brandon: Who were you talking to?
Big B: Just an old friend.
Brandon: Get out of town, I didn’t know you had any friends.
Big B: Yeah, I have a few.
Brandon: Where are we going for your birthday?
Big B: Well, I never like to let the Colonel down on my birthday.
Brandon: Colonel A.P. Vanhorne?
Big B: No, you idiot. Colonel Sanders.
Brandon: You know my great grandma once dated him.
Big B: Really?
Brandon: True story.
Big B: I didn’t know that.
Brandon: You learn something new every day.
(Brandon and Big B are now at KFC.)
Brandon: This chicken is finger lickin’ good. I wonder what the secret recipe is.
(Big B now thinks to himself that sending Brandon to find the KFC recipe would have been a better idea.)
Big B: I don’t know but I want to find out.
Brandon: That almost sounds like an adventure idea.
(Kevin Smith walks up.)
Kevin Smith: Adventure. Excitement. A Jedi craves not these things.
Brandon: Second time I have heard that today. I love the movie Clerks by the way.
Kevin Smith: Thanks man. Good to see I have a fan.
(Smith leaves.)
Big B: Brandon, you have a big match this week.
Brandon: Good old fashioned triple threat tag match. Those are always fun. I got my cool partner. Alex whatever his last name is.
Big B: Kiseragi.
Brandon: Kiseragi. I think I got it now. I bet if you type that into word that it will have a red line underneath it.
Big B: Probably.
Brandon: Didn’t he win that triple threat match that I was in last week.
Big B: Yeah, he did. You forgot about that match already.
Brandon: I don’t like to remember matches that I don’t win. It was an impressive victory by him though. I will be glad to have him as my partner.
Big B: I would be glad to have him as my partner too.
Brandon: I don’t understand the partnership between Chris Austin and Randy Boolzian. I think they have a mutual respect for each other but I’m not sure. I used to like Chris Austin but lately he has been sort of an asshole. I like Boolz though. He needs to lay off the Red Bull though.
Big B: I see what you are saying. What about Hastings and Severino?
Brandon: They are the bad guy team. Nobody cares about them.
Big B: You raise a valid point.
(Gary Busey bursts into the KFC.)
Busey: Alright, Brown. Cage said that you are looking for a treasure.
Brandon: How does he always find out about these things?
Busey: Cage isn’t telling me where it is though. I’m just going to have to beat it out of you.
Brandon: It’s at the Pentagon. Good luck getting in.
Busey: I’ll find a way.
(Busey leaves.)
Brandon: Who just bursts into a KFC?
Big B: Gary Busey does.
Brandon: Apparently.
Big B: So are you worried about this match this week?
Brandon: Somewhat. I don’t want to get injured before the big match at Battleground. Battleground will be Live from Madison Square Garden on September 20th. I tell you what. That Battleground Match will be intense.
Big B: I can’t wait to see it. I wish I was in the match.
Brandon: You had your opportunity but you let me wrestle instead.
Big B: I told you. My time will come eventually.
Brandon: I just can’t wait to win back my title at Horizons.
Big B: How did that wedding go last week?
Brandon: It was eventful and I don’t want to talk about it.
Big B: Fair enough.
Brandon: How hard do you think it will be to break into the Pentagon?
Big B: I don’t know. I’d imagine that they would have awesome security.
Brandon: Probably, but I will find my way in.
Big B: I hope you find that treasure.
Brandon: Thanks. I just wish you could come with me.
Big B: I’ll be with you in spirit.
Brandon: I wonder what the treasure will be. Gold, money, more money, or the controlling stake of GIW.
Big B: What was the last one?
Brandon: Chocolate.
Big B: Good Family Guy reference.
Brandon: I got you a present for your birthday. You’re lucky the GHC told me to get you something.
Big B: That belt must be smart. I can’t wait to see what it is.
(Big B opens it.)
Big B: Sweet. Big Black Booty Calls Volumes 1-8. No more lonely nights for me.
Brandon: Only the best for my cousin.
Big B: Thanks. Damn, is this KFC good? I love me some fried chicken.
Brandon: Can you excuse me? I must go outside.
(Brandon walks outside and looks toward the sky.)
Brandon: Global Heavyweight Championship. I will complete your quest. Your journey will be long and hard but I will overcome it. It will be an honor to complete the task for you. I hear your voice urging me on. You may not want me to listen to you anymore but I must. I will take you back to your rightful owner.
(Brandon looks back down to see a crowd of people staring at him.)
Brandon: I’m practicing for my movie audition. I play a wrestler who thinks his belt talks to him. Come on, stop looking at me funny. That guy over there is a caveman.
Caveman: What’s that supposed to mean?
Brandon: Sorry, dude. I didn’t mean it like that.
Caveman: Sure you didn’t. It’s also a coincidence that you are wearing a Geico shirt.
Brandon: It was on sale.
Caveman: Whatever. I’m out of here.
(Caveman leaves.)
Brandon: Good Grief.
(The Peanuts Music plays as the scene fades to dark.)
Brandon: Didn’t this happen in Wayne’s World 2?
(Brandon follows the Indian until he stops.)
Brandon: Naked Indian, what are we doing here? Jim Morrison isn’t going to tell me to have a rock concert is he?
(The Global Heavyweight Championship belt appears before Brandon.)
Brandon: The GHC.
(Brandon bows before the belt.)
Brandon: I’m not worthy of you, belt.
GHC: You are worthy. You have won me twice before.
Brandon: You know when I usually talk to you. You sound feminine. Right now you sound like Jor-El from the Superman movies.
GHC: That’s because I wanted to sound more wise.
Brandon: It’s working.
GHC: You may be asking me, why did I call upon you today.
Brandon: Yeah, why did you call upon me?
GHC: I noticed you are traveling down a dark path. You must resist the temptation. You think a fucking belt is talking to you.
Brandon: Aren’t you?
GHC: Yes, but that is besides the point. I am sending you on a quest. A quest where you will no longer think a belt is talking to you. I quest that will help you regain your sanity.
Brandon: So you are sending me on a quest so I don’t think you are talking to me anymore?
GHC: It’s funny how the world works.
Brandon: The quest sounds fun. I could use some adventure and excitement.
(Yoda appears.)
Yoda: Adventure? Excitement? A Jedi craves not these things.
Brandon: You’re right, Yoda.
(Jim Morrison appears.)
Brandon: Jim Morrison. This is like Wayne’s World 2.
Jim: Not really. I’m only in here for the hell of it.
Brandon: Cool.
GHC: Back to more important matters. The quest I was going to send you on.
Brandon: Oh, right.
GHC: This quest requires that you be on your own. Don’t worry though, I will be there to guide you. In this quest, you will be looking for something.
Brandon: Treasure.
GHC: You could call it that.
Brandon: Where is it and what is it?
GHC: It is one of the most valuable things in the world. It is located in the Pentagon.
Brandon: The Pentagon. How am I supposed to get in there?
GHC: You will find a way.
Brandon: When do I start this quest?
GHC: Next week. This week you must celebrate Big B’s birthday.
Brandon: Why?
GHC: Because he is your favorite cousin.
Brandon: Okay.
GHC: You must buy him a bunch of things.
Brandon: All he wants is porn.
GHC: It’s because he is a lonely guy.
Brandon: Whatever.
GHC: Anyways, remember the quest that you must go on. You have to go to the Pentagon to find this treasure. It’s the only way to make you stop thinking that you are talking to a belt. I have spoken.
(Brandon wakes up in his bed.)
Brandon: What a weird dream?
(Big B walks in.)
Big B: Hey, guess what is so important about this day.
Brandon: I don’t know. I’ve got nothing.
Big B: It’s my birthday.
Brandon: Right, I had a dream about that.
Big B: What was the dream about?
Brandon: The Global Heavyweight Championship belt told me to go on a quest to the Pentagon to find this treasure.
Big B: Am I allowed to come?
Brandon: No, he said that I must go alone.
Big B: Interesting. Anything else?
Brandon: Yoda, Jim Morrison, and the weird naked Indian were there.
Big B: Cool. So are we going to go somewhere for my birthday?
Brandon: Sure. I have to get ready though.
Big B: Okay. I’ll give you time.
(Meanwhile, outside the window to Brandon’s room, Nicholas Cage is listening in on the conversation.)
Nicholas Cage: So Brandon knows about a new treasure. It’s in the Pentagon though. It will take me a week to prepare for this treasure hunt but I’ll beat Brandon to the treasure. You know why I will do this? Because my name is Nicholas Cage. This is what I do.
(Back to Big B. He is now by himself talking on a cell phone.)
Big B: Yeah, your thing that made me talk into his dream worked. He really thinks he has to go get a treasure from the Pentagon. Hopefully this will put an end to all of this belt nonsense. Thanks for your help. Goodbye.
(Brandon walks in.)
Brandon: Who were you talking to?
Big B: Just an old friend.
Brandon: Get out of town, I didn’t know you had any friends.
Big B: Yeah, I have a few.
Brandon: Where are we going for your birthday?
Big B: Well, I never like to let the Colonel down on my birthday.
Brandon: Colonel A.P. Vanhorne?
Big B: No, you idiot. Colonel Sanders.
Brandon: You know my great grandma once dated him.
Big B: Really?
Brandon: True story.
Big B: I didn’t know that.
Brandon: You learn something new every day.
(Brandon and Big B are now at KFC.)
Brandon: This chicken is finger lickin’ good. I wonder what the secret recipe is.
(Big B now thinks to himself that sending Brandon to find the KFC recipe would have been a better idea.)
Big B: I don’t know but I want to find out.
Brandon: That almost sounds like an adventure idea.
(Kevin Smith walks up.)
Kevin Smith: Adventure. Excitement. A Jedi craves not these things.
Brandon: Second time I have heard that today. I love the movie Clerks by the way.
Kevin Smith: Thanks man. Good to see I have a fan.
(Smith leaves.)
Big B: Brandon, you have a big match this week.
Brandon: Good old fashioned triple threat tag match. Those are always fun. I got my cool partner. Alex whatever his last name is.
Big B: Kiseragi.
Brandon: Kiseragi. I think I got it now. I bet if you type that into word that it will have a red line underneath it.
Big B: Probably.
Brandon: Didn’t he win that triple threat match that I was in last week.
Big B: Yeah, he did. You forgot about that match already.
Brandon: I don’t like to remember matches that I don’t win. It was an impressive victory by him though. I will be glad to have him as my partner.
Big B: I would be glad to have him as my partner too.
Brandon: I don’t understand the partnership between Chris Austin and Randy Boolzian. I think they have a mutual respect for each other but I’m not sure. I used to like Chris Austin but lately he has been sort of an asshole. I like Boolz though. He needs to lay off the Red Bull though.
Big B: I see what you are saying. What about Hastings and Severino?
Brandon: They are the bad guy team. Nobody cares about them.
Big B: You raise a valid point.
(Gary Busey bursts into the KFC.)
Busey: Alright, Brown. Cage said that you are looking for a treasure.
Brandon: How does he always find out about these things?
Busey: Cage isn’t telling me where it is though. I’m just going to have to beat it out of you.
Brandon: It’s at the Pentagon. Good luck getting in.
Busey: I’ll find a way.
(Busey leaves.)
Brandon: Who just bursts into a KFC?
Big B: Gary Busey does.
Brandon: Apparently.
Big B: So are you worried about this match this week?
Brandon: Somewhat. I don’t want to get injured before the big match at Battleground. Battleground will be Live from Madison Square Garden on September 20th. I tell you what. That Battleground Match will be intense.
Big B: I can’t wait to see it. I wish I was in the match.
Brandon: You had your opportunity but you let me wrestle instead.
Big B: I told you. My time will come eventually.
Brandon: I just can’t wait to win back my title at Horizons.
Big B: How did that wedding go last week?
Brandon: It was eventful and I don’t want to talk about it.
Big B: Fair enough.
Brandon: How hard do you think it will be to break into the Pentagon?
Big B: I don’t know. I’d imagine that they would have awesome security.
Brandon: Probably, but I will find my way in.
Big B: I hope you find that treasure.
Brandon: Thanks. I just wish you could come with me.
Big B: I’ll be with you in spirit.
Brandon: I wonder what the treasure will be. Gold, money, more money, or the controlling stake of GIW.
Big B: What was the last one?
Brandon: Chocolate.
Big B: Good Family Guy reference.
Brandon: I got you a present for your birthday. You’re lucky the GHC told me to get you something.
Big B: That belt must be smart. I can’t wait to see what it is.
(Big B opens it.)
Big B: Sweet. Big Black Booty Calls Volumes 1-8. No more lonely nights for me.
Brandon: Only the best for my cousin.
Big B: Thanks. Damn, is this KFC good? I love me some fried chicken.
Brandon: Can you excuse me? I must go outside.
(Brandon walks outside and looks toward the sky.)
Brandon: Global Heavyweight Championship. I will complete your quest. Your journey will be long and hard but I will overcome it. It will be an honor to complete the task for you. I hear your voice urging me on. You may not want me to listen to you anymore but I must. I will take you back to your rightful owner.
(Brandon looks back down to see a crowd of people staring at him.)
Brandon: I’m practicing for my movie audition. I play a wrestler who thinks his belt talks to him. Come on, stop looking at me funny. That guy over there is a caveman.
Caveman: What’s that supposed to mean?
Brandon: Sorry, dude. I didn’t mean it like that.
Caveman: Sure you didn’t. It’s also a coincidence that you are wearing a Geico shirt.
Brandon: It was on sale.
Caveman: Whatever. I’m out of here.
(Caveman leaves.)
Brandon: Good Grief.
(The Peanuts Music plays as the scene fades to dark.)