Post by Lord Hastings on Apr 14, 2012 18:38:36 GMT -5
Chris: DOWN!
Group: SIXTY-EIGHT!
Chris: DOWN....and rest.
Several of the students collapse from exhaustion. Tate Levene looks ready to vomit...again.
Chris: Up and on your knees, the Lord has come!
Donovan steps into the ring, cloak and all.
Hastings: Good work today, students. Your Lord is pleased. As I'm sure many of you are already aware, at No Holds Barred we will be facing the Dragon's Cave in a War Games match. Several of you will be participating with me in this match. Your coaches and I will determine just who will be bestowed with that honor in the coming days.
Chris: It's an honor!
Hastings: Obviously, this is the most important match for the Dungeon of Pain to be concerned about that day, and nothing else matters. That, however, is for next week. This week, I'm pleased to announce that we have a special guest lecturer, here to talk with you about Symbolism and How To Mock People With It. Please welcome to the Dungeon of Pain, Guest Coach Ezekiel Pax!
Donovan steps out of the ring as Zeke enters it.
Zeke: Good morning. First, I'd like to say thank you to Lord Hastings and Coach Chris for having me here today, I've been looking forward to this. Now, I'm here today to talk about Symbolism, etc, etc. I'm sure you've all seen some of the video packages that I've produced week and in and week out. This week I'm in the finals of the MIT, that's Marek Invitational Tournament, and I'm sure you all know the baggage I've been saddled with. Now, who saw the video I launched a couple days ago?
The hands of Joy Asiago, Todd Magenta, and Paul Cockatoo go up. Ezekiel glances at Ezra Wade, who quickly puts his hands up as well.
Zeke: I suppose Blubberbutt over there has been too busy training to watch stuff.
Tate: ...I think I'm gonna pop....
Chris: In your bucket...IN YOUR BUCKET!!!
Tate dives for a small trash can, and Todd Magenta grabs the bucket and pushes it closer, only to get splattered himself.
Magenta: Ugh...can I change?
Chris: No, that's what you get for not moving quicker.
Zeke: And the chunk on your shirt, obviously, is symbolic of your failure, right?
Ezekiel appears amused with himself for the comment.
Zeke: So for those who saw the video, what did I use to represent the tournament? Paul.
Cockatoo: The 1966 FIFA World Cup Final.
Zeke: That's right.
Cockatoo: Yes!
Paul starts air drumming.
Chris: Athlican! We talked about this.
Paul visibly deflates.
Chris: You know what you have to do.
Paul nods his head, and starts to take a lap around the room, hopping backwards on one foot.
Zeke: Now, why did I pick that? Miss Asiago.
Joy: Because soccer is a globally beloved sport, much like UGWC is a global brand, and everybody can connect with what you're talking about and understand the subtleties of your point.
Donvoan, Ezekiel, and Chris all stare at her.
Zeke: Uh, right. That was it, exactly. Well done. Now, I'm stuck tagging with the Bayou Bitch. The odds are pretty stacked against me.
Hastings: If the Lord may interject, Guest Coach Zeke, it's something that can be overcome. Everybody I'm sure remembers the reign of the Lord and His Peasant, when I carried Somers to victory. It can be done.
Zeke: Oh, definitely. But messages need to be sent too, and again, I used symbolism to send it in my video. What did I do, again, those that saw it?
Todd Magenta stops wiping his shirt to raise his hand. Ezekiel points to him and nods.
Magenta: You burned a picture of both of you.
Zeke: Yes, and what does that symbolize? Paul?
Paul is walking back to his seat, having completed his lap.
Cockatoo: Um...you're flamers?
Zeke: What? No.
Chris: TAKE ANOTHER LAP!!!
Paul sighs and resumes his backwards hopping.
Zeke: Ezra, tell them what it symbolized.
Ezra: Oh, um...that, uh...that the alliance doesn't mean anything to you?
Zeke: More than that, that Remi is a baby-kissing goody-good that isn't willing to cross the lines that everyone here knows are sometimes necessary. That's not me, and I'll go through anyone, even my "partner" if I have to, in order to accomplish it. That single image, the burning picture, it says all that. Got it?
Through the room, heads slowly nod.
Zeke: Good, now let's talk about fun things you can do with Photoshop...
As he speaks, Donovan and Chris step together out of the room.
Hastings: He's really not bad, you know.
Chris: What are you thinking about the War Games match?
Hastings: We'll need to use two of them. You've been working them, who looks good?
Chris: Well the only one in there with some legitimate in-ring experience is Cockatoo.
Hastings: He's a doof.
Chris: He's a doof that has won a championship in the past, and you know better than anybody that a championship win is a championship win, regardless of the circumstances that lead to it.
Donovan nods.
Hastings: That it is. This is a must-win match. I've allowed Kiseragi to embarass me enough times. We've done enough charity to the world taking in this motley crew.
Chris: So what's next?
Hastings: We just keep doing what we're doing. As much as I'm not a fan of Fear, I don't mind having him as a partner on Synergy. He takes JK out of the equation, and more importantly, he likely feels he has unfinished business with Kiseragi too.
Chris: Scott and Knight are aligned.
Hastings: Well, that feels like a theme of the night, doesn't it? Enemies team with enemies, allies have to face allies. Maybe somebody should remind Knight she owes us for putting her on the map to begin with.
Chris: Maybe I should remind you that she left me hanging when we were supposed to team.
Hastings: I still think the BlacKnights could have been huge.
Chris: Yeah, okay.
Hastings: Ultimately, it's just a speed bump on the way to No Holds Barred. Kiseragi can put whoever he wants on his team. My time of vengeance has come. After all, it was inevitable.
Group: SIXTY-EIGHT!
Chris: DOWN....and rest.
Several of the students collapse from exhaustion. Tate Levene looks ready to vomit...again.
Chris: Up and on your knees, the Lord has come!
Donovan steps into the ring, cloak and all.
Hastings: Good work today, students. Your Lord is pleased. As I'm sure many of you are already aware, at No Holds Barred we will be facing the Dragon's Cave in a War Games match. Several of you will be participating with me in this match. Your coaches and I will determine just who will be bestowed with that honor in the coming days.
Chris: It's an honor!
Hastings: Obviously, this is the most important match for the Dungeon of Pain to be concerned about that day, and nothing else matters. That, however, is for next week. This week, I'm pleased to announce that we have a special guest lecturer, here to talk with you about Symbolism and How To Mock People With It. Please welcome to the Dungeon of Pain, Guest Coach Ezekiel Pax!
Donovan steps out of the ring as Zeke enters it.
Zeke: Good morning. First, I'd like to say thank you to Lord Hastings and Coach Chris for having me here today, I've been looking forward to this. Now, I'm here today to talk about Symbolism, etc, etc. I'm sure you've all seen some of the video packages that I've produced week and in and week out. This week I'm in the finals of the MIT, that's Marek Invitational Tournament, and I'm sure you all know the baggage I've been saddled with. Now, who saw the video I launched a couple days ago?
The hands of Joy Asiago, Todd Magenta, and Paul Cockatoo go up. Ezekiel glances at Ezra Wade, who quickly puts his hands up as well.
Zeke: I suppose Blubberbutt over there has been too busy training to watch stuff.
Tate: ...I think I'm gonna pop....
Chris: In your bucket...IN YOUR BUCKET!!!
Tate dives for a small trash can, and Todd Magenta grabs the bucket and pushes it closer, only to get splattered himself.
Magenta: Ugh...can I change?
Chris: No, that's what you get for not moving quicker.
Zeke: And the chunk on your shirt, obviously, is symbolic of your failure, right?
Ezekiel appears amused with himself for the comment.
Zeke: So for those who saw the video, what did I use to represent the tournament? Paul.
Cockatoo: The 1966 FIFA World Cup Final.
Zeke: That's right.
Cockatoo: Yes!
Paul starts air drumming.
Chris: Athlican! We talked about this.
Paul visibly deflates.
Chris: You know what you have to do.
Paul nods his head, and starts to take a lap around the room, hopping backwards on one foot.
Zeke: Now, why did I pick that? Miss Asiago.
Joy: Because soccer is a globally beloved sport, much like UGWC is a global brand, and everybody can connect with what you're talking about and understand the subtleties of your point.
Donvoan, Ezekiel, and Chris all stare at her.
Zeke: Uh, right. That was it, exactly. Well done. Now, I'm stuck tagging with the Bayou Bitch. The odds are pretty stacked against me.
Hastings: If the Lord may interject, Guest Coach Zeke, it's something that can be overcome. Everybody I'm sure remembers the reign of the Lord and His Peasant, when I carried Somers to victory. It can be done.
Zeke: Oh, definitely. But messages need to be sent too, and again, I used symbolism to send it in my video. What did I do, again, those that saw it?
Todd Magenta stops wiping his shirt to raise his hand. Ezekiel points to him and nods.
Magenta: You burned a picture of both of you.
Zeke: Yes, and what does that symbolize? Paul?
Paul is walking back to his seat, having completed his lap.
Cockatoo: Um...you're flamers?
Zeke: What? No.
Chris: TAKE ANOTHER LAP!!!
Paul sighs and resumes his backwards hopping.
Zeke: Ezra, tell them what it symbolized.
Ezra: Oh, um...that, uh...that the alliance doesn't mean anything to you?
Zeke: More than that, that Remi is a baby-kissing goody-good that isn't willing to cross the lines that everyone here knows are sometimes necessary. That's not me, and I'll go through anyone, even my "partner" if I have to, in order to accomplish it. That single image, the burning picture, it says all that. Got it?
Through the room, heads slowly nod.
Zeke: Good, now let's talk about fun things you can do with Photoshop...
As he speaks, Donovan and Chris step together out of the room.
Hastings: He's really not bad, you know.
Chris: What are you thinking about the War Games match?
Hastings: We'll need to use two of them. You've been working them, who looks good?
Chris: Well the only one in there with some legitimate in-ring experience is Cockatoo.
Hastings: He's a doof.
Chris: He's a doof that has won a championship in the past, and you know better than anybody that a championship win is a championship win, regardless of the circumstances that lead to it.
Donovan nods.
Hastings: That it is. This is a must-win match. I've allowed Kiseragi to embarass me enough times. We've done enough charity to the world taking in this motley crew.
Chris: So what's next?
Hastings: We just keep doing what we're doing. As much as I'm not a fan of Fear, I don't mind having him as a partner on Synergy. He takes JK out of the equation, and more importantly, he likely feels he has unfinished business with Kiseragi too.
Chris: Scott and Knight are aligned.
Hastings: Well, that feels like a theme of the night, doesn't it? Enemies team with enemies, allies have to face allies. Maybe somebody should remind Knight she owes us for putting her on the map to begin with.
Chris: Maybe I should remind you that she left me hanging when we were supposed to team.
Hastings: I still think the BlacKnights could have been huge.
Chris: Yeah, okay.
Hastings: Ultimately, it's just a speed bump on the way to No Holds Barred. Kiseragi can put whoever he wants on his team. My time of vengeance has come. After all, it was inevitable.
