Post by Jet Somers on Apr 20, 2012 21:56:59 GMT -5
"I honestly think it would have been better if we'd dressed you guys
with a little more Aussie flavor," Chastity pouts as the various
members of the Pierced Media Network are led one of the various
green rooms housed in the Sydney Opera... House. She glances
ahead and behind her at their fashionable black sportcoats over
partially unbuttoned Sphinx-patterned button down shirts, red field for
Jet and blue field for Travis. Even adorned with Oakley Zeroes, and
looking for all the world like fashion model's despite Opie's
unfortunate jug ears, she's not satisfied. Her final duty, besides
appearing as part of the entourage for this visit, was to fulfill her
dream of designing The Piercing Weapons' wardrobe for their big
international debut.
"Chastity, you're not an Aussie," Jet points out, "and so your idea of
'Aussie flavor' is probably gleaned from your years of inundation with
the media depiction of bushmen and crocodile hunters. That's
probably no closer to what your average 'bloke' down under dresses in
than this, and I think you did a fine job."
"It's not as if you're average blokes anyway," Pepper reminds the
team, he too glancing back to gain Travis' approval.
Travis is curiously bringing up the rear quietly, seemingly lost in
contemplation.
It takes ages for them to get to their assigned green room, as the
Sydney Opera House... houses... several stages to accomodate many
types of performing arts. Just how many types of shows one might
catch in a week becomes apparant once the troupe has made their
way to their seats and begin looking over the brochures to pass the
time.
"You know," Chastity pipes up, "I think I understand why they chose
the Sydney Opera House for your promotional tour."
"It's the only iconic spot in all of Oz that any American can
recognize?" Rob suggests
"No, look at the shows available this week," Chastity nods toward the
playbills and promotional posters around the walls.
"Castor et Pollux?" Jet wonders, referring to the classical Rameau
opera, "Two seasoned and wildly victorious warriors with literally
undying loyalty to one another?"
"No, no," Chastity laughs, "one of you would have to die for that to be
the case."
"The Man in Black?" Pepper reads from a brochure, "I could see Jet's
intensity and seriousness being personified in his unorthodox color
choices."
"I think Jet's dialed back a little on the seriousness," Rob shrugs,
"Even if he's still as intense as ever in the ring."
Travis sighs as he decides to get in on the conversation finally. He
glances over at the playbill on the stand beside his chair.
"Golijov's Last Round," he reads, "They're describing it as 'Macho,
Cool, and Dangerous?' That sounds like us... wait no, we're not a
damn ballet."
"Michael Bolton!!" Chastity gushes.
The entire crew looks at her incredulously.
"His latest album...?" Chastity flourishes her hands, trying to get
them to make the connection.
"It's all duets!" she announces, exasperated at their lack of
knowledge in popular music, "Look at No Holds Barred; you've got a
World Championship match that everyone has already decided is
going to be a squash, the 100th or so rematch of Kiseragi and
Hastings, and the typical hard ten match, with no Chaos
Championship on the line. The story of this show, this entire year, is
the Cooperative Division. You guys made sure of it last month, and
Marek helped cement it for this month."
"Please, don't get me started on the pointless waste of money that
tournament was," Jet begins.
"And the biggest act, the only name anyone has heard of," Chastity
continues, "Is solely performing the duet album with, get this, a
randomly thrown together band!"
"My god," Jet shakes his head, "I hope we're not expected to make an
appearance with him... did you see the last cooperative effort he did
with someone?
----------
The press conference has been set up to take place in the Utzon
Room, a very classy but smaller concert room that allows for a more
intimate setting with the performing artist with a dazzling view of the
harbor behind the performing area, and limited seating affording only
The Consortium, a few Allphones Arena officials, a couple of
ambassadors, and select reporters from the area.
As the Piercing Media Network files in to take their seats behind a
magnificently adorned table which includes flannel flowers and
warateh as well as bachelors buttons, and several dishes are set out
for the guests to include authentic sliced Damper, sausage rolls, tim
tams, macadamia nuts, and Anzac biscuits, supplemented with Miss
Maud coffee and imitation 'Billy tea.'
Jet elbows Travis and points down to the miniscule table where
Daisuke and Peterson are just finishing up their Q&A. They both
snicker as they turn back to sample the national fare.
A tuxedo clad announcer takes the center.
"G'day, ladies and gentlemen, thank you for coming to this
conference" he begins, "Today we're proud to welcome the Pierced
Media Network to the Utzon Room. This is a rare honor, as the
premiere venue in the Eastern Hemisphere for the entertainment arts,
to welcome the biggest entertainment conglomeration from the
Western Hemisphere to our shores. In a few days, Sydney will play
host to the Unified Global Wrestling Coalition's No Holds Barred, and
the culmination of the Marek Daisuke Cooperative Invitational. The
two stars behind me have faced down adversity for months, not
excepting the aforementioned tournament, and before they head to the
Allphones Arena to once again defend their championships against
the perpetrator of that invitational and one of the former champions
from whom they wrested those championships, they've agreed to
answer a single question from each of you. We welcome, The Piercing
Weapons."
A subdued applause follows this introduction, an applause in which
Robert Ooley does not take part. The round tapers off as one at a
time, the gathering of reporters stands and asks their questions.
----------
Davey Forsythe, Sydney Morning Herald: My question is for Chastity.
Now that your reward as a temporary member of PMN has nearly come
to a close, what are your plans for the future?
Chastity: I'm still employed by the Creative Department for UGWC,
and since the addition of Ms. Harding to the group, I'm sure poor
Patience is grinding her teeth from her now quadrupled workload. I
assume one of us will be assigned to each of the Directors, and I look
forward to it.
Paul Marchfield, The Telegraph: Mr. Phoenix, your initial foray into the
world of Sports Entertainment included a self-produced rumours
website as an attempt to be noticed by UGWC. As part of PMN, do you
feel you've accomplished your goal?
Pepper: Though I'm employed by PMN, and it is actually a separate
entity from UGWC, I still feel as though the success I had envisioned
has been far surpassed thanks to Mr. Pierce and Mr. Somers. The
respect I had craved for my insights into the world of UGWC is finally
realized, and in a way I doubt the non-competitive members of the
UGWC staff would ever be able to achieve.
Sam Minchin, Blitz Magazine: Jet, at one time you had declared
yourself to be UGWC's stable breaker. How do you now answer for the
success you've obtained as part of this group.
Travis: It's simple, if you don't mind my taking this question. Pierced
Media Network is not a 'stable,' it's a media cooperative. Also, as
Pepper pointed out, it is a separate entity. Other than Opie and
myself, we're not a team of like-minded wrestlers trying to gather
strength in numbers, or being backed by someone with an axe to grind
or agenda to carry out. Opie, Pepper, Rob, even Chastity, are involved
for one reason only, to sell the most entertaining product available in
any market. We each do that by doing whatever we do best. For Opie
and I, that means competing in UGWC. We are the best, and so we
entertain both in and out of the ring.
Nick Vindin, SBS World News: Travis or Jet, how do you feel about the
training session you received from JK in the Bushfire Match?
Travis and Jet share a look.
Jet: I'm not going to act as though we didn't benefit in many ways
from JK's tutelage, and I have to say it showed surprising integrity for
him to give us as much insight and detail about the match as he did. I
do feel that we are much better prepared than we were a week ago,
but...
Travis: It has to be said. JK has no place training anyone. As an
instructor, he's as much a failure as Chris Peterson.
Carly Adno, Sunday Times: Speaking of Chris Peterson, what are your
thoughts about having to face him once again for the championships?
Travis: Unfortunately, the waste of time tournament proved that there
are but a few competitors on the roster who can even put together a
cooperative effort long enough to make two tags. The piercing truth is,
Chris Peterson got into the division by being thrown together with
partners, first as part of the BlacKnights, then as the Mistress and her
Servant, and even saw a moment of success with the ever failing Paul
Cockatoo.
Startled looks of distaste suddenly appear in the room as one of their
own are insulted right in front of them.
Jet: Of the two, Chris is the one with the highest chance of snatching
a victory out of nowhere. As part of the Dungeon of Pain, his
confidence and responsibilities have made him into a realistic
competitor, and his track record for winning with unfamiliar partners is
actually quite good. I've even teamed with him a couple of times. In a
match as unpredictable as this, he is as much a wild card as I am.
Travis: But as we've proven time and time again, you can't just be
great in the ring to be a true success. You have to be entertaining as
well. Will the crowd get behind Lord Hasting's newest patsy, give him
that crowd-pleasing edge? Unlikely.
Angela Bishop, Network Ten: You mentioned Chris Peterson's
experience. What about Marek Daisuke's? As a former member of The
Vicious Kind, he's been very close to not only the most experienced
Bushfire veteran JK, but also the only person to have won a Bushfire
match in UGWC, Ezekiel Pax.
Rob: Uh, I've been around Travis for my entire career, but I doubt I
could do what he does behind the desk or in the ring on my best day.
Jet: You think skills are gained through osmosis? The only experience
Marek gained by being a part of The Vicious Kind is learning to take a
dive for Ezekiel Pax. After the one spot of hope he had at the end of
last year, he proved it by dumping his purse out to make us look even
better. JK told us that speed was a skill that was indisposable in this
match, and the Fastest Kid Alive has it in spades. But he also said
strategy was an important asset, and Marek has shown over and over
that he has no head for it, and even now his strategy is to choose a
partner that has lost to us almost as often as RemiTude.
Pete Timbs, Nova 96.9: Travis, how do you respond to the popular
opinion that Jet, the clear athletic superior, is now carrying the
success for the whole team?
Jet: I think it's my turn to interject. First of all, the majority of ideas
PMN has fielded over the past few months have been Travis' at the
ground level. It was his idea to hire a rumors correspondent, which
netted us Pepper Phoenix. It was at his urging that we began to
develop a show for me, and without his constant reassurance, The
Score would have never made it off the whiteboard. Secondly, it's easy
to see why the combined success of The Piercing Weapons has been
able to overshadow the successes of either of us in the past. People
seem to forget that Travis Pierce was already a media mogul and an in
ring success. He won the Carnage Match, something no one has done
since. He then used that purse to become a success over yours truly,
as Marek Daisuke will not ultimately do, and the World Heavyweight
Champion. The Human Resource Department was an attempt to
legitimize his abilities, but that instead turned out to be only Mr.
Ooley's sandbox where he demanded people play his games or leave.
All eyes turn on the Human Resources Director, whose flush of rage is
almost dark enough to hide his eyepatch.
Jet: Only since we formed our alliance has the success of either of us
been accompanied by more than derisive chuckles under the white
gloved hands of those more respected than we. No longer are we the
zany comic relief, the pardoned pawns of over important
chessmasters. We are the makers of our futures, and we've made
certain that that future is prestigious and unchallengeable. Especially
by the likes of The Lords Enforcers.
And on it goes, each reporter asking a more challenging question than
the last, each being batted down by the super confident entertainers.
Michael Bolton doesn't hold a fucking candle.
with a little more Aussie flavor," Chastity pouts as the various
members of the Pierced Media Network are led one of the various
green rooms housed in the Sydney Opera... House. She glances
ahead and behind her at their fashionable black sportcoats over
partially unbuttoned Sphinx-patterned button down shirts, red field for
Jet and blue field for Travis. Even adorned with Oakley Zeroes, and
looking for all the world like fashion model's despite Opie's
unfortunate jug ears, she's not satisfied. Her final duty, besides
appearing as part of the entourage for this visit, was to fulfill her
dream of designing The Piercing Weapons' wardrobe for their big
international debut.
"Chastity, you're not an Aussie," Jet points out, "and so your idea of
'Aussie flavor' is probably gleaned from your years of inundation with
the media depiction of bushmen and crocodile hunters. That's
probably no closer to what your average 'bloke' down under dresses in
than this, and I think you did a fine job."
"It's not as if you're average blokes anyway," Pepper reminds the
team, he too glancing back to gain Travis' approval.
Travis is curiously bringing up the rear quietly, seemingly lost in
contemplation.
It takes ages for them to get to their assigned green room, as the
Sydney Opera House... houses... several stages to accomodate many
types of performing arts. Just how many types of shows one might
catch in a week becomes apparant once the troupe has made their
way to their seats and begin looking over the brochures to pass the
time.
"You know," Chastity pipes up, "I think I understand why they chose
the Sydney Opera House for your promotional tour."
"It's the only iconic spot in all of Oz that any American can
recognize?" Rob suggests
"No, look at the shows available this week," Chastity nods toward the
playbills and promotional posters around the walls.
"Castor et Pollux?" Jet wonders, referring to the classical Rameau
opera, "Two seasoned and wildly victorious warriors with literally
undying loyalty to one another?"
"No, no," Chastity laughs, "one of you would have to die for that to be
the case."
"The Man in Black?" Pepper reads from a brochure, "I could see Jet's
intensity and seriousness being personified in his unorthodox color
choices."
"I think Jet's dialed back a little on the seriousness," Rob shrugs,
"Even if he's still as intense as ever in the ring."
Travis sighs as he decides to get in on the conversation finally. He
glances over at the playbill on the stand beside his chair.
"Golijov's Last Round," he reads, "They're describing it as 'Macho,
Cool, and Dangerous?' That sounds like us... wait no, we're not a
damn ballet."
"Michael Bolton!!" Chastity gushes.
The entire crew looks at her incredulously.
"His latest album...?" Chastity flourishes her hands, trying to get
them to make the connection.
"It's all duets!" she announces, exasperated at their lack of
knowledge in popular music, "Look at No Holds Barred; you've got a
World Championship match that everyone has already decided is
going to be a squash, the 100th or so rematch of Kiseragi and
Hastings, and the typical hard ten match, with no Chaos
Championship on the line. The story of this show, this entire year, is
the Cooperative Division. You guys made sure of it last month, and
Marek helped cement it for this month."
"Please, don't get me started on the pointless waste of money that
tournament was," Jet begins.
"And the biggest act, the only name anyone has heard of," Chastity
continues, "Is solely performing the duet album with, get this, a
randomly thrown together band!"
"My god," Jet shakes his head, "I hope we're not expected to make an
appearance with him... did you see the last cooperative effort he did
with someone?
----------
The press conference has been set up to take place in the Utzon
Room, a very classy but smaller concert room that allows for a more
intimate setting with the performing artist with a dazzling view of the
harbor behind the performing area, and limited seating affording only
The Consortium, a few Allphones Arena officials, a couple of
ambassadors, and select reporters from the area.
As the Piercing Media Network files in to take their seats behind a
magnificently adorned table which includes flannel flowers and
warateh as well as bachelors buttons, and several dishes are set out
for the guests to include authentic sliced Damper, sausage rolls, tim
tams, macadamia nuts, and Anzac biscuits, supplemented with Miss
Maud coffee and imitation 'Billy tea.'
Jet elbows Travis and points down to the miniscule table where
Daisuke and Peterson are just finishing up their Q&A. They both
snicker as they turn back to sample the national fare.
A tuxedo clad announcer takes the center.
"G'day, ladies and gentlemen, thank you for coming to this
conference" he begins, "Today we're proud to welcome the Pierced
Media Network to the Utzon Room. This is a rare honor, as the
premiere venue in the Eastern Hemisphere for the entertainment arts,
to welcome the biggest entertainment conglomeration from the
Western Hemisphere to our shores. In a few days, Sydney will play
host to the Unified Global Wrestling Coalition's No Holds Barred, and
the culmination of the Marek Daisuke Cooperative Invitational. The
two stars behind me have faced down adversity for months, not
excepting the aforementioned tournament, and before they head to the
Allphones Arena to once again defend their championships against
the perpetrator of that invitational and one of the former champions
from whom they wrested those championships, they've agreed to
answer a single question from each of you. We welcome, The Piercing
Weapons."
A subdued applause follows this introduction, an applause in which
Robert Ooley does not take part. The round tapers off as one at a
time, the gathering of reporters stands and asks their questions.
----------
Davey Forsythe, Sydney Morning Herald: My question is for Chastity.
Now that your reward as a temporary member of PMN has nearly come
to a close, what are your plans for the future?
Chastity: I'm still employed by the Creative Department for UGWC,
and since the addition of Ms. Harding to the group, I'm sure poor
Patience is grinding her teeth from her now quadrupled workload. I
assume one of us will be assigned to each of the Directors, and I look
forward to it.
Paul Marchfield, The Telegraph: Mr. Phoenix, your initial foray into the
world of Sports Entertainment included a self-produced rumours
website as an attempt to be noticed by UGWC. As part of PMN, do you
feel you've accomplished your goal?
Pepper: Though I'm employed by PMN, and it is actually a separate
entity from UGWC, I still feel as though the success I had envisioned
has been far surpassed thanks to Mr. Pierce and Mr. Somers. The
respect I had craved for my insights into the world of UGWC is finally
realized, and in a way I doubt the non-competitive members of the
UGWC staff would ever be able to achieve.
Sam Minchin, Blitz Magazine: Jet, at one time you had declared
yourself to be UGWC's stable breaker. How do you now answer for the
success you've obtained as part of this group.
Travis: It's simple, if you don't mind my taking this question. Pierced
Media Network is not a 'stable,' it's a media cooperative. Also, as
Pepper pointed out, it is a separate entity. Other than Opie and
myself, we're not a team of like-minded wrestlers trying to gather
strength in numbers, or being backed by someone with an axe to grind
or agenda to carry out. Opie, Pepper, Rob, even Chastity, are involved
for one reason only, to sell the most entertaining product available in
any market. We each do that by doing whatever we do best. For Opie
and I, that means competing in UGWC. We are the best, and so we
entertain both in and out of the ring.
Nick Vindin, SBS World News: Travis or Jet, how do you feel about the
training session you received from JK in the Bushfire Match?
Travis and Jet share a look.
Jet: I'm not going to act as though we didn't benefit in many ways
from JK's tutelage, and I have to say it showed surprising integrity for
him to give us as much insight and detail about the match as he did. I
do feel that we are much better prepared than we were a week ago,
but...
Travis: It has to be said. JK has no place training anyone. As an
instructor, he's as much a failure as Chris Peterson.
Carly Adno, Sunday Times: Speaking of Chris Peterson, what are your
thoughts about having to face him once again for the championships?
Travis: Unfortunately, the waste of time tournament proved that there
are but a few competitors on the roster who can even put together a
cooperative effort long enough to make two tags. The piercing truth is,
Chris Peterson got into the division by being thrown together with
partners, first as part of the BlacKnights, then as the Mistress and her
Servant, and even saw a moment of success with the ever failing Paul
Cockatoo.
Startled looks of distaste suddenly appear in the room as one of their
own are insulted right in front of them.
Jet: Of the two, Chris is the one with the highest chance of snatching
a victory out of nowhere. As part of the Dungeon of Pain, his
confidence and responsibilities have made him into a realistic
competitor, and his track record for winning with unfamiliar partners is
actually quite good. I've even teamed with him a couple of times. In a
match as unpredictable as this, he is as much a wild card as I am.
Travis: But as we've proven time and time again, you can't just be
great in the ring to be a true success. You have to be entertaining as
well. Will the crowd get behind Lord Hasting's newest patsy, give him
that crowd-pleasing edge? Unlikely.
Angela Bishop, Network Ten: You mentioned Chris Peterson's
experience. What about Marek Daisuke's? As a former member of The
Vicious Kind, he's been very close to not only the most experienced
Bushfire veteran JK, but also the only person to have won a Bushfire
match in UGWC, Ezekiel Pax.
Rob: Uh, I've been around Travis for my entire career, but I doubt I
could do what he does behind the desk or in the ring on my best day.
Jet: You think skills are gained through osmosis? The only experience
Marek gained by being a part of The Vicious Kind is learning to take a
dive for Ezekiel Pax. After the one spot of hope he had at the end of
last year, he proved it by dumping his purse out to make us look even
better. JK told us that speed was a skill that was indisposable in this
match, and the Fastest Kid Alive has it in spades. But he also said
strategy was an important asset, and Marek has shown over and over
that he has no head for it, and even now his strategy is to choose a
partner that has lost to us almost as often as RemiTude.
Pete Timbs, Nova 96.9: Travis, how do you respond to the popular
opinion that Jet, the clear athletic superior, is now carrying the
success for the whole team?
Jet: I think it's my turn to interject. First of all, the majority of ideas
PMN has fielded over the past few months have been Travis' at the
ground level. It was his idea to hire a rumors correspondent, which
netted us Pepper Phoenix. It was at his urging that we began to
develop a show for me, and without his constant reassurance, The
Score would have never made it off the whiteboard. Secondly, it's easy
to see why the combined success of The Piercing Weapons has been
able to overshadow the successes of either of us in the past. People
seem to forget that Travis Pierce was already a media mogul and an in
ring success. He won the Carnage Match, something no one has done
since. He then used that purse to become a success over yours truly,
as Marek Daisuke will not ultimately do, and the World Heavyweight
Champion. The Human Resource Department was an attempt to
legitimize his abilities, but that instead turned out to be only Mr.
Ooley's sandbox where he demanded people play his games or leave.
All eyes turn on the Human Resources Director, whose flush of rage is
almost dark enough to hide his eyepatch.
Jet: Only since we formed our alliance has the success of either of us
been accompanied by more than derisive chuckles under the white
gloved hands of those more respected than we. No longer are we the
zany comic relief, the pardoned pawns of over important
chessmasters. We are the makers of our futures, and we've made
certain that that future is prestigious and unchallengeable. Especially
by the likes of The Lords Enforcers.
And on it goes, each reporter asking a more challenging question than
the last, each being batted down by the super confident entertainers.
Michael Bolton doesn't hold a fucking candle.
