Post by Travis Pierce on Dec 8, 2012 15:06:29 GMT -5
We see a darkened set, with silhouettes visible of a table. A voiceover is heard from Rob Cartwright.
Cartwright: Ladies and gentlemen, he is the reigning Chaos Champion, and the host of The Piercing Truth, you know his name, TRAVIS PIERCE!
“You Know My Name” by Chris Cornell begins to play, and the lights come on to show a chair sitting backwards behind the desk. A monitor behind the chair shows the logo for The Piercing Truth. The chair slow turns around, revealing a clean-shaven for the first time in months Travis Pierce.
Pierce: Welcome to the show! I am Travis Pierce, back on the air, once again and as always your party host. It has certainly been a roller coaster year, filled with ups and downs, and we come now to an end, but oh, what an end, am I right? We'll get to it all, everything on the Horizons, but first, some top stories!
Travis switches to Camera B.
Pierce: Virtual unknown Al Walser managed to get a Grammy nomination despite having a bad song, terrible video, and never being heard of prior to two seconds ago, just in case anybody out there still hasn't realized that the Grammy's are a joke. In addition to making Justin Beiber appear to be a lyrical genius, Walser has managed to make such giants as Rebecca Black or Mark Riznak jealous in his achievement. We'll have a very special performance by Mark Riznak later in the show.
Travis switches to Camera A.
Pierce: The United States Supreme Court will begin to schedule hearings on the issue of gay marriage, exciting fans of Alex Kiseragi everywhere. Of course, gay marriage heralds gay divorce, as fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce nowadays. A lot of partnerships, domestic, business, or otherwise, fail as well, much like the partnership between the Piercing Weapons. Torn apart by the selfish actions of one man, can their newly won Cooperative Championship repair the damage that has been done? Spoiler alert: I'm going to kick Jet's ass at Horizons.
Travis switches to Camera B.
Pierce: It's ugly Christmas sweater season, and this past week on Synergy, it looks like Jet Somers has gotten an early jump on tradition!
The monitor shows a still image of Jet Somers covered in black paint.
Pierce: I think it's actually not that bad a look for him, wouldn't you say?
Travis switches to Camera A.
Pierce: Now please welcome, with a special musical performance, Mark Riznak, for a segment we call: Paint It, Black.
Cut to Riznak, who begins strumming with great energy on his guitar. Travis himself can be seen in the background, banging on drums.
Riznak: Paint it black!
Footage shown of Travis spilling black paint on Jet from Synergy.
Riznak: PAINT IT BLACK!!
The footage is shown again.
Riznak: PaintItBlack!!!!!
The footage is shown in slow motion.
Riznak: PAINT. IT. BLACK.
Travis, having left the drums, appears behind Riznak and smacks him in the head with a drumstick. He snatches the guitar out of Mark's hands and smashes it over his head, leaving him sprawling.
Travis stares down at him for a few moments, and turns to the camera, pointing down at Riznak.
Pierce: There is one of your precious "Stars of Tomorrow" that you saddled me with. This is what you left me for, why you broke up The Piercing Weapons. So you could go ahead and recruit trash like this idiot. This is what you valued over me, after all we had been through together. You left me, and I nearly lost myself to madness and the Chaos Championship. You nearly cost me everything.
Travis begins to approach the camera.
Pierce: But I'm better now, Jet. I see clearly again. You're a user. You use everybody. I see that now. You recognized your own weaknesses, you know why I was able to defeat you two years ago. You tried to use me to make your weakness into a strength. That's all I was, wasn't it? Not anymore. We're the Cooperative Champions again, you and I, because of me. People are going to see that, and what few doubters are left, I'll show them at Horizons. You never should have come back. The only piercing weapon left is me, and at Horizons, it's going to pierce right through your heart.
Fade out...
Cartwright: Ladies and gentlemen, he is the reigning Chaos Champion, and the host of The Piercing Truth, you know his name, TRAVIS PIERCE!
“You Know My Name” by Chris Cornell begins to play, and the lights come on to show a chair sitting backwards behind the desk. A monitor behind the chair shows the logo for The Piercing Truth. The chair slow turns around, revealing a clean-shaven for the first time in months Travis Pierce.
Pierce: Welcome to the show! I am Travis Pierce, back on the air, once again and as always your party host. It has certainly been a roller coaster year, filled with ups and downs, and we come now to an end, but oh, what an end, am I right? We'll get to it all, everything on the Horizons, but first, some top stories!
Travis switches to Camera B.
Pierce: Virtual unknown Al Walser managed to get a Grammy nomination despite having a bad song, terrible video, and never being heard of prior to two seconds ago, just in case anybody out there still hasn't realized that the Grammy's are a joke. In addition to making Justin Beiber appear to be a lyrical genius, Walser has managed to make such giants as Rebecca Black or Mark Riznak jealous in his achievement. We'll have a very special performance by Mark Riznak later in the show.
Travis switches to Camera A.
Pierce: The United States Supreme Court will begin to schedule hearings on the issue of gay marriage, exciting fans of Alex Kiseragi everywhere. Of course, gay marriage heralds gay divorce, as fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce nowadays. A lot of partnerships, domestic, business, or otherwise, fail as well, much like the partnership between the Piercing Weapons. Torn apart by the selfish actions of one man, can their newly won Cooperative Championship repair the damage that has been done? Spoiler alert: I'm going to kick Jet's ass at Horizons.
Travis switches to Camera B.
Pierce: It's ugly Christmas sweater season, and this past week on Synergy, it looks like Jet Somers has gotten an early jump on tradition!
The monitor shows a still image of Jet Somers covered in black paint.
Pierce: I think it's actually not that bad a look for him, wouldn't you say?
Travis switches to Camera A.
Pierce: Now please welcome, with a special musical performance, Mark Riznak, for a segment we call: Paint It, Black.
Cut to Riznak, who begins strumming with great energy on his guitar. Travis himself can be seen in the background, banging on drums.
Riznak: Paint it black!
Footage shown of Travis spilling black paint on Jet from Synergy.
Riznak: PAINT IT BLACK!!
The footage is shown again.
Riznak: PaintItBlack!!!!!
The footage is shown in slow motion.
Riznak: PAINT. IT. BLACK.
Travis, having left the drums, appears behind Riznak and smacks him in the head with a drumstick. He snatches the guitar out of Mark's hands and smashes it over his head, leaving him sprawling.
Travis stares down at him for a few moments, and turns to the camera, pointing down at Riznak.
Pierce: There is one of your precious "Stars of Tomorrow" that you saddled me with. This is what you left me for, why you broke up The Piercing Weapons. So you could go ahead and recruit trash like this idiot. This is what you valued over me, after all we had been through together. You left me, and I nearly lost myself to madness and the Chaos Championship. You nearly cost me everything.
Travis begins to approach the camera.
Pierce: But I'm better now, Jet. I see clearly again. You're a user. You use everybody. I see that now. You recognized your own weaknesses, you know why I was able to defeat you two years ago. You tried to use me to make your weakness into a strength. That's all I was, wasn't it? Not anymore. We're the Cooperative Champions again, you and I, because of me. People are going to see that, and what few doubters are left, I'll show them at Horizons. You never should have come back. The only piercing weapon left is me, and at Horizons, it's going to pierce right through your heart.
Fade out...
2013, '18, '23 
2013 