Post by Jet Somers on Feb 15, 2013 19:30:00 GMT -5
"So.. you don't care if you win the championship?" the voice on
the other end of the cell phone sounds so confused.
Jet, back to us, sighs at the lack of foresight.
"Of course I do," he admits, "I'm just trying to illustrate that the
point is the support of the fandom. That's pretty much what PMN
thrives on."
"And with their support as the underdog," you can almost hear
the gears turning over the earpiece, "you'll be victorious?"
"One way or another..." Jet nods, even if no one can see him.
"So what are the terms of this contract?" now the voice sounds
hungry.
"It's very simple," Opie explains, "you do this promo... my way.
From here on out, you quietly collect a check as "The Rundown"
comes under the umbrella of PMN."
"And I don't have to do anything after Infinity?"
"Let's just say, if I require anything further," Jet turns around, a
Kubrick smile plastered on his face, "We'll renegotiate your
salary."
----------
Banned Piercing Media Network/USMC Super Bowl Ad!
Silence.
Blackness.
Marching drumbeat.
These words appear in white on the black background:
"In war, one man is only as good as the weapon he wields."
We flash back to clips of the Bushfire match in 2012, ending with
Jet Somers and Travis Pierce victorious over the flaming battlefield
of rubbish. Interspersed with this are scenes of a piece of red hot
iron being worked over an anvil.
Drumbeat.
Blackness.
These words now appear:
"Unarmed, even the strongest warrior will fall before a well
prepared foe."
This time, Outlast is the centerpiece, as an otherwise fresh Travis
Pierce, who has eliminated the monster Cajoolz with ease, is
destroyed by Calypso Desmona, of all people. The red hot iron is
plunged into a vat of water, and steam fills the screen as a hiss
nearly drowns out the drumbeat.
Blackness.
Drumbeat.
"But turn him into a weapon..."
The white words are cut off as we see Travis Pierce and Jet
Somers in rare form during the unannounced Synergy Chaos Main
Event, working in perfect harmony to defeat War & Peace.
"...and he will be unstoppable."
Triumphant french horns overtake the drumbeat as the iron,
gripped by a white glove, emerges from the vat, and it has
become a Mamaluke Dress Sword, weilded by a United States
Marine, who salutes in his dress blues.
The drumbeat tattoos out a finishing cadence as the number to
the local recruiting office is listed.
----------
You want honesty?
Here are your nuggets of truth.
I've watched this place rise and fall.
I was around when Lock and Global merged forces.
I remember who was there in the beginning.
I can count how many of those are left... and of those, how many
are still relevant.
War and Peace and Nigga. Struggling year after year to still have
a place in the world that Jet and Travis have ended up fashioning
in their own images. The definition of insanity is to keep trying the
same thing over and over and expect a different result. If you
think Hastings, Daisuke, or Pax can turn any success in the Global
Challenge into a future legacy here, you are crazy.
If you want honesty, you will accept that there are four fresh
names in this event. Any of these names could headline the next
big event. Any of these names could dominate a single day at
Wrestlestock, march victorious from the Battleground, or even
headline the Horizons, given time.
Some of those names have already driven their boots through the
door. Some are the breakout star of the year, and some are
carrying a mantle of an established entertainer. Their time is
probably the closest at hand. They have already been proven.
The remaining two have had a victory or two against the
unworthy... they have yet to be truly tested. But now...
----------
"Nigga, that don't sound like me at all," Gian sputters, interrupting
Jet's monologue, "I ain't sayin that shit."
----------
Joey here, with a special Infinity edition of The Rundown, brought
to you by The Pierced Media Network! (eye roll)
Not many matches of course, with the Global Challenge
dominating, but I've decided to call that one the Prejudiced
Pierced Passe' Placid Pretense of Propellant Puerile Pugnacity
Odds and history lean heavily on Hastings either putting together
a ridiculous ploy to try to steal the Challenge, or someone else
going all out to screw him over, thus earning his ire as well as his
opposition at Horizons. If it's the second option, don't count on
that person to win the challenge either, as only Hastings can
divide his focus infinitely without losing position. Odds would seem
to be against him with so many new faces hoping to prove
themselves, but Hastings is very much at home in the Global
Challenge, and therefore, my pick is... (sigh)... The Icon of the
Globally Challenged, Travis Pierce.
That brings us to the main event. This one doesn't have as much
hype as the past few bouts, but I feel like it should. Perhaps the
two greatest entertainers active in the sport right now, Jet
Somers and champion Moss Edwards will battle it out for the
World Heavyweight Chamionship.
The story of this match is that Jet is trying to usurp Moss on what
you might call the Visionary's Throne. Should The Wild Card see a
victory at Infinity, it will mean that he managed to beat a storied
and well established director at his own game. No mean feat
when you consider that The Tastemaker's talents were so
numerous that he was selected as Creative Director when UGWC
was in it's infancy... and he wasn't even active at the time!
Edwards went on to fool the Consortium, the roster, and even his
own entourage as Prince Rudo. Those fooled included Jet Somers
himself. Moss Edwards has dominated for the last twelve months
collectively as a champion of one sort or another, proving himself
again and again as both a cutting edge producer, and as a solid in
ring champion. Though he has stepped down as Creative Director,
I feel that his ideas and plans are still a driving force behind
keeping UGWC alive in what might be it's twilight year. That being
said, for Somers to take that away would take tremendous effort
and could spell the doom of our favorite wrestling brand.
Therefore, I have to pick Moss Edwards to retain the
championship at Infinity!
----------
"Who the hell is this Eden Morgan? She seems awfully congenial
toward you guys," the World Champion points out as he stops by
the Number One Contender's locker room for a prematch well-
wishing, "Someone you recruited?"
"I've never heard of her," Jet shrugs as he pulls on his gloves, "I
hate that youthful exuberance, though."
"Really? I would think you of all people would appreciate that,"
Edwards smirks.
"It just makes me count the weeks until someone beats it out of
her," Jet shakes his head, "it's... sad."
"Well, good luck out there," Moss nods, "you'll excuse me if I don't
think a handshake is necessarily the most appropriate of gestures
at the moment."
"Not at all," Jet grins, "wouldn't want you telling people I'm the
champion because you couldn't do a proper Eyes Wide Shut with
a sore hand."
"Of course not," Moss almost winks, "See you in a bit."
the other end of the cell phone sounds so confused.
Jet, back to us, sighs at the lack of foresight.
"Of course I do," he admits, "I'm just trying to illustrate that the
point is the support of the fandom. That's pretty much what PMN
thrives on."
"And with their support as the underdog," you can almost hear
the gears turning over the earpiece, "you'll be victorious?"
"One way or another..." Jet nods, even if no one can see him.
"So what are the terms of this contract?" now the voice sounds
hungry.
"It's very simple," Opie explains, "you do this promo... my way.
From here on out, you quietly collect a check as "The Rundown"
comes under the umbrella of PMN."
"And I don't have to do anything after Infinity?"
"Let's just say, if I require anything further," Jet turns around, a
Kubrick smile plastered on his face, "We'll renegotiate your
salary."
----------
Banned Piercing Media Network/USMC Super Bowl Ad!
Silence.
Blackness.
Marching drumbeat.
These words appear in white on the black background:
"In war, one man is only as good as the weapon he wields."
We flash back to clips of the Bushfire match in 2012, ending with
Jet Somers and Travis Pierce victorious over the flaming battlefield
of rubbish. Interspersed with this are scenes of a piece of red hot
iron being worked over an anvil.
Drumbeat.
Blackness.
These words now appear:
"Unarmed, even the strongest warrior will fall before a well
prepared foe."
This time, Outlast is the centerpiece, as an otherwise fresh Travis
Pierce, who has eliminated the monster Cajoolz with ease, is
destroyed by Calypso Desmona, of all people. The red hot iron is
plunged into a vat of water, and steam fills the screen as a hiss
nearly drowns out the drumbeat.
Blackness.
Drumbeat.
"But turn him into a weapon..."
The white words are cut off as we see Travis Pierce and Jet
Somers in rare form during the unannounced Synergy Chaos Main
Event, working in perfect harmony to defeat War & Peace.
"...and he will be unstoppable."
Triumphant french horns overtake the drumbeat as the iron,
gripped by a white glove, emerges from the vat, and it has
become a Mamaluke Dress Sword, weilded by a United States
Marine, who salutes in his dress blues.
The drumbeat tattoos out a finishing cadence as the number to
the local recruiting office is listed.
----------
You want honesty?
Here are your nuggets of truth.
I've watched this place rise and fall.
I was around when Lock and Global merged forces.
I remember who was there in the beginning.
I can count how many of those are left... and of those, how many
are still relevant.
War and Peace and Nigga. Struggling year after year to still have
a place in the world that Jet and Travis have ended up fashioning
in their own images. The definition of insanity is to keep trying the
same thing over and over and expect a different result. If you
think Hastings, Daisuke, or Pax can turn any success in the Global
Challenge into a future legacy here, you are crazy.
If you want honesty, you will accept that there are four fresh
names in this event. Any of these names could headline the next
big event. Any of these names could dominate a single day at
Wrestlestock, march victorious from the Battleground, or even
headline the Horizons, given time.
Some of those names have already driven their boots through the
door. Some are the breakout star of the year, and some are
carrying a mantle of an established entertainer. Their time is
probably the closest at hand. They have already been proven.
The remaining two have had a victory or two against the
unworthy... they have yet to be truly tested. But now...
----------
"Nigga, that don't sound like me at all," Gian sputters, interrupting
Jet's monologue, "I ain't sayin that shit."
----------
Joey here, with a special Infinity edition of The Rundown, brought
to you by The Pierced Media Network! (eye roll)
Not many matches of course, with the Global Challenge
dominating, but I've decided to call that one the Prejudiced
Pierced Passe' Placid Pretense of Propellant Puerile Pugnacity
Odds and history lean heavily on Hastings either putting together
a ridiculous ploy to try to steal the Challenge, or someone else
going all out to screw him over, thus earning his ire as well as his
opposition at Horizons. If it's the second option, don't count on
that person to win the challenge either, as only Hastings can
divide his focus infinitely without losing position. Odds would seem
to be against him with so many new faces hoping to prove
themselves, but Hastings is very much at home in the Global
Challenge, and therefore, my pick is... (sigh)... The Icon of the
Globally Challenged, Travis Pierce.
That brings us to the main event. This one doesn't have as much
hype as the past few bouts, but I feel like it should. Perhaps the
two greatest entertainers active in the sport right now, Jet
Somers and champion Moss Edwards will battle it out for the
World Heavyweight Chamionship.
The story of this match is that Jet is trying to usurp Moss on what
you might call the Visionary's Throne. Should The Wild Card see a
victory at Infinity, it will mean that he managed to beat a storied
and well established director at his own game. No mean feat
when you consider that The Tastemaker's talents were so
numerous that he was selected as Creative Director when UGWC
was in it's infancy... and he wasn't even active at the time!
Edwards went on to fool the Consortium, the roster, and even his
own entourage as Prince Rudo. Those fooled included Jet Somers
himself. Moss Edwards has dominated for the last twelve months
collectively as a champion of one sort or another, proving himself
again and again as both a cutting edge producer, and as a solid in
ring champion. Though he has stepped down as Creative Director,
I feel that his ideas and plans are still a driving force behind
keeping UGWC alive in what might be it's twilight year. That being
said, for Somers to take that away would take tremendous effort
and could spell the doom of our favorite wrestling brand.
Therefore, I have to pick Moss Edwards to retain the
championship at Infinity!
----------
"Who the hell is this Eden Morgan? She seems awfully congenial
toward you guys," the World Champion points out as he stops by
the Number One Contender's locker room for a prematch well-
wishing, "Someone you recruited?"
"I've never heard of her," Jet shrugs as he pulls on his gloves, "I
hate that youthful exuberance, though."
"Really? I would think you of all people would appreciate that,"
Edwards smirks.
"It just makes me count the weeks until someone beats it out of
her," Jet shakes his head, "it's... sad."
"Well, good luck out there," Moss nods, "you'll excuse me if I don't
think a handshake is necessarily the most appropriate of gestures
at the moment."
"Not at all," Jet grins, "wouldn't want you telling people I'm the
champion because you couldn't do a proper Eyes Wide Shut with
a sore hand."
"Of course not," Moss almost winks, "See you in a bit."
