Post by Lord Hastings on May 3, 2013 20:45:06 GMT -5
Donovan is standing in front of the Slurpee machine at a local 7-11. Oh thank heaven.
Hastings: Pina colada...it is a tease. I've fallen for this nonsense before. I won't be disappointed again.
Donovan takes a cup and fills it up with the Coke flavor. He casually strolls to the candy aisle, taking a sip of his delicious goodness.
The serenity of the moment is abruptly interrupted by the arrival of two degenerates wearing ski-masks, as they burst into the store.
Degenerate #1: Let's go! Empty it out!
He throws a sack to the clerk, while his other hand is in his jacket pocket, and appears to be pointing an object from within it at the clerk.
Clerk: Oh, not you two again...
Degenerate #2: Hey, how did you know?
Degenerate #1: Shut up! Fill the bag, do it now!
He points emphatically with whatever is in his pocket. The clerk sighs and begins emptying his register into the bag.
Donovan calmly sips his Slurpee.
As the clerk fills the bag, the second man steps into the candy aisle and snatches a bag of Gummi Life-Savers.
Hastings: FIEND!!!
Fiend #2: Wha-?
Donovan charges and tackles the man to the ground, pinning him there by the shoulders.
Hastings: You're just like him, aren't you? You want to take things that don't belong to you? Is that what you do?!?!
Fiend #2: Mike! Help!
Donovan pulls him off the ground and slams him right back onto it.
Mike is #1: What the fuck are you doing??
He is now pointing his pocket at Donovan, who looks up at him.
Hastings: You stay out of this.
Mikey: Are you crazy?
Hastings: He. Took. The last. BAG!!!
What a Jerk: There's more!
Hastings: Not of the Mixed Berry variety, dickbag.
NotMarek: Let him go!
Hastings: What are you going to do, throw your pocket lint at me?
Dickbag: Help!
Hastings: You shut your mouth. I've had enough. My students, my championship, my melee. Now you want my white grape gummies too? WHAT KIND OF MONSTER ARE YOU?
PissedHisPants: I'm sorry...
BewareMyJacket thrusts his pocket aggressively.
ThisSpaceForRent: You let him go right-
Donovan stands up sharply and approaches him, and RealizesHeFuckedUp quickly steps back and puts up his hands, inadvertantly revealing that there wasn't actually anything in his pocket. Donovan clocks him with a right hand that sends him sprawling into the shelves in front of the clerk, who has ducked behind his counter and is peering over the top.
SpeaksInLimeGreen scrambles to get to his feet and run, but Donovan quickly picks up a two-liter of soda off a display and flings it at him, catching him in the back of the head and knocking him down.
Donovan grabs the Pocketeer by the head and drags him back to his feet, towards the front of the store, staring at the front window.
Clerk: Hey, hey, I think it's enough.
Donovan glances back at him, then stares at the hoodlum in his hands.
Hastings: Perhaps he is right. I don't particularly care about you anyway.
Donovan shoves him to the ground, staring down at him for a moment, then quickly spins, grabs E.Z. Limer by the head and flings him through the window.
Clerk: Oh, come on...
Donovan picks up the dropped bag of Mixed Berry Gummi Lifesavers, and then takes a couple bills out of his pocket and places them on the counter.
Hastings: You're welcome.
He walks out of the store, as the clerk shakes his head, and sirens can be heard in the distance.
Hastings: Pina colada...it is a tease. I've fallen for this nonsense before. I won't be disappointed again.
Donovan takes a cup and fills it up with the Coke flavor. He casually strolls to the candy aisle, taking a sip of his delicious goodness.
The serenity of the moment is abruptly interrupted by the arrival of two degenerates wearing ski-masks, as they burst into the store.
Degenerate #1: Let's go! Empty it out!
He throws a sack to the clerk, while his other hand is in his jacket pocket, and appears to be pointing an object from within it at the clerk.
Clerk: Oh, not you two again...
Degenerate #2: Hey, how did you know?
Degenerate #1: Shut up! Fill the bag, do it now!
He points emphatically with whatever is in his pocket. The clerk sighs and begins emptying his register into the bag.
Donovan calmly sips his Slurpee.
As the clerk fills the bag, the second man steps into the candy aisle and snatches a bag of Gummi Life-Savers.
Hastings: FIEND!!!
Fiend #2: Wha-?
Donovan charges and tackles the man to the ground, pinning him there by the shoulders.
Hastings: You're just like him, aren't you? You want to take things that don't belong to you? Is that what you do?!?!
Fiend #2: Mike! Help!
Donovan pulls him off the ground and slams him right back onto it.
Mike is #1: What the fuck are you doing??
He is now pointing his pocket at Donovan, who looks up at him.
Hastings: You stay out of this.
Mikey: Are you crazy?
Hastings: He. Took. The last. BAG!!!
What a Jerk: There's more!
Hastings: Not of the Mixed Berry variety, dickbag.
NotMarek: Let him go!
Hastings: What are you going to do, throw your pocket lint at me?
Dickbag: Help!
Hastings: You shut your mouth. I've had enough. My students, my championship, my melee. Now you want my white grape gummies too? WHAT KIND OF MONSTER ARE YOU?
PissedHisPants: I'm sorry...
BewareMyJacket thrusts his pocket aggressively.
ThisSpaceForRent: You let him go right-
Donovan stands up sharply and approaches him, and RealizesHeFuckedUp quickly steps back and puts up his hands, inadvertantly revealing that there wasn't actually anything in his pocket. Donovan clocks him with a right hand that sends him sprawling into the shelves in front of the clerk, who has ducked behind his counter and is peering over the top.
SpeaksInLimeGreen scrambles to get to his feet and run, but Donovan quickly picks up a two-liter of soda off a display and flings it at him, catching him in the back of the head and knocking him down.
Donovan grabs the Pocketeer by the head and drags him back to his feet, towards the front of the store, staring at the front window.
Clerk: Hey, hey, I think it's enough.
Donovan glances back at him, then stares at the hoodlum in his hands.
Hastings: Perhaps he is right. I don't particularly care about you anyway.
Donovan shoves him to the ground, staring down at him for a moment, then quickly spins, grabs E.Z. Limer by the head and flings him through the window.
Clerk: Oh, come on...
Donovan picks up the dropped bag of Mixed Berry Gummi Lifesavers, and then takes a couple bills out of his pocket and places them on the counter.
Hastings: You're welcome.
He walks out of the store, as the clerk shakes his head, and sirens can be heard in the distance.