Post by Mr.Ego on Aug 21, 2013 23:51:24 GMT -5
The television monitor is on, showing the intro to one of ESPN’s most successful productions. As the intro plays, a voiceover is heard.
Many people are familiar with the seven deadly sins, and as we go through life, most of us can think of at least one person that we have come into contact with, that has exhibited behaviors that can be attributed to those very sins: wrath; greed; sloth; pride; lust; envy; gluttony. Historically, however, that list broadens considerably.
Vainglory. Unjustified boasting. ‘The Father of Christian Warship’ viewed it as a form of pride. Thus, Pope Gregory folded vainglory into ‘pride’ for his listing of sins. And though the term ‘vainglory’ has become less and less used with the passing of time, it still rears its ugly head. Whether it should truly be viewed as a sin is up for debate. At least with one individual.
‘Vain’. ‘Mr. Ego.’ ‘The Vain One’. ‘The Money Maker.’ ‘Vanity at its Finest’. ‘Arrogance Personified.’ He goes by many monikers, but on a cold January night in 1983, he was born with one name, and one name only.
Alan Wallace.
The casual observer would remark that being born into money is a good thing, as it means those fortunate enough to be reared in a situation like that, will have all of the luxuries that they desire, and they will have the chance to do great things in life. Others would state that never having to work for a living teaches children nothing, and that being ‘made of money’ is more of a hindrance, than being helpful. Over the years, Alan Wallace has been able to merge the issue into something completely different.
The monitor flickers to still-photo shots of Alan Wallace as a child: his first Christmas; learning to ride a bike at the age of 4; his first day of school; the days that he found the desire to begin playing his two favorite sports – baseball and football; his high school days of being a two-sport star. The scene switches to a small room, showing an older woman seated in a chair.
“Alan was such a good boy. Granted, he liked to see how much he could get away with, but he was an extremely loving child.”
As the still-photos of Alan Wallace begin showing on the screen again, ‘Vain’ Alan Wallace’s voice is heard.
“Vain can’t believe how old Aunt Regina has gotten. Maybe if she would have taken The Money Maker’s advice with regards to her health, she wouldn’t have one foot in the grave right now. As for when Vain was a child, Regina couldn’t handle the fact that Vain was always better at everything, than the two worthless rejects that she brought into this world. The fact that she is now the epitome of love and kindness when it comes to Vanity at its Finest, only stems from the fact that Vain has been monetarily taking care of her the last ten years, as her spawn have turned into wastes of space.”
The scene on the monitor switches to a man of about 50 years of age, sporting a baseball cap to cover his now thinning hair.
“Alan was the greatest baseball player that I had seen in 20 years of coaching to that point, and in the 12 years since, still nobody compares. And as good as he was at baseball, he might have been even better at football. As his coach in both sports, he made my job easy.”
Videos of his high school sports days begin to play, as ‘Vain’ Alan Wallace’s voice is heard again.
“Ahh, Coach Mowery. Vain remembers the hell you put him through. You used Vain’s athleticism to parlay yourself into an untouchable position at Jefferson High. The masses looked at you as if you were a coaching wizard, when you only made a name for yourself after Mr. Ego strapped you to his back, and carried you to championship glory. The season that Vain blew out his knee when being tackled in the state championship game…Vain remembers you blaming him for the loss, and then not talking to him after that. And that was Vain’s Senior year. Where were you then, you sanctimonious piece of shit?”
Alan Wallace grew up in a normal childhood; his parents not allowing him to use their stature to gain any type of advantage. He was forced to carve his own path in life, and rely on his own skill and intellect, in making his way through school, and becoming an adult. Somewhere along the way, however, Vain lost sight of this. He had money…he was making even more money purely based upon drive and determination…and he had a natural talent to succeed at anything that he chose to do.
What he chose, was professional wrestling.
Video clips of ‘Vain’ Alan Wallace in action while working for Headstrong Wrestling begin to play. Clips from matches against the likes of Taurus Capone, Deszarus, Hoju, The Mainstreamer, Stuvix, Al Coholic, The Jackrabbit, Johnny Kae, Sean Edmunds envelop the television screen. As the match clips play, the voice of ‘Vain’ Alan Wallace is heard.
“Vain was just as pretty then, as he is now. And look at the agility. Vain wrestled everyone that company threw at him, and Vain beat them all. Each time, the story was the same. Some pretender would win a few matches, proclaim himself to be the next big thing, and then would set his sights on Mr. Ego. And each time, when the dust would settle, The Vain One ALWAYS reigned supreme. It got to the point that Vain had nobody left to fight. That company closed with Vain as its champion. Fitting, in Vain’s opinion, because that company wasn’t good enough for Vain anymore.”
As Alan Wallace created more and more success for himself, his ego continued to grow. So much so, that his ego was the reason that some people proclaimed was the cause of him being out of wrestling for as long as he was, after Headstrong Wrestling closed its doors. He had alienated many of those that he had come into contact with during his career, and people had tired of his routine. But Alan Wallace has never been one to back down from a challenge; never been one to accept defeat.
Video clips from UGWC begin to play, showing clips of matches featuring Cypress Morgan, Eden Morgan, Zane Scott, Chadwick T. Chaos, Jordan King, Travis Pierce, and Jet Somers. Vain’s voice is heard again.
"Vain knew his people needed him. They had no hero to look up to in the world of pro wrestling once Vain retired, and The Vain One couldn’t live with himself if he didn’t give the people what they wanted; what they needed. It took quite a while, but Vain finally found the place that he would call home: UGWC. And the ‘giving back’ that Vain has decided to do begins this week.
Vain can think of nothing better, than to go against the best that UGWC has to offer, and win some gold in the process. Nothing against any of the other competitors, but does anyone actually think that Vain won’t come out on top, and become the Cooperative Champions? Do any of the other teams even stand a chance?
Eden Morgan and Zane Scott have been playing tiddly-winks for the last few months, so Vain seriously doubts that winning the Cooperative Titles ranks high on their list of ‘to-dos’. Honestly, Vain thinks they outta just screw and get it over with. Maybe they can do that this week. At least that way, they’ll both feel like they accomplished something. Even if one of them has to fake it.
Cypress Morgan and Chadwick T. Chaos might just be the biggest mis-match in the whole thing. A big burly biker, teaming with ‘the artist formerly known as a big burly biker who now acts like an imbecile while being treated like a jackass and being too stupid to realize it’? Whether they used to ride together or not is irrelevant; there’s no way that pairing wins anything come Monday. Unless there’s an award for ‘Most Painful Event of 2013’. Then they could find themselves in the running.
Travis Pierce and Jet Somers are the reigning Cooperative Champs, but Erika Langford was buying her first tampon the last time they defended their titles. Throw in the fact that Jet is losing his mind, and they’re ripe for the picking."
The television monitor pauses on a still of JK. The camera then zooms out, showing Vain standing behind the monitor. He smiles that beautifully perfect smile that makes women melt.
"And that leaves Vain with JK. A man that has had a few unkind things to say concerning The Vain One since he returned to the squared circle; a man that will be the opposing captain in Vain’s match at Outlast; and a man that, this week, will be Vain’s tag team partner. Vain will let you in on a little secret, JK…Vain doesn’t need you as a tag team partner, and Vain doesn’t want you as a tag team partner. However, Vain will have to suffer with you as a tag team partner, if Mr. Ego is to walk out of Synergy as the new UGWC Cooperative Champions. So Vain will tow the company line, and set aside his differences this week, for the good of the people. Because the people want to see Vain with gold around his waist. The people NEED to see Vain with gold around his waist. You? You are the person that has been tasked to ensure that Vain IS wearing gold around his waist at the end of the night. Once that happens, you’re services are no longer required.
Get ready, boys and girls, because Arrogance Personified is about to show all of you how to steal a show…and how to look spectacular while doing it."
Vain turns and walks away, as the television monitor begins rolling the credits. One last voiceover is heard.
In the late 6th Century, the words Vain and Glory – while once bound together – were torn apart by the act of one man. In the 21st Century, one man strives to bring them together once more.
Vain. Glory. A match made in Heaven.
**This work is in no way affiliated with ESPN, or any of its related productions**
Many people are familiar with the seven deadly sins, and as we go through life, most of us can think of at least one person that we have come into contact with, that has exhibited behaviors that can be attributed to those very sins: wrath; greed; sloth; pride; lust; envy; gluttony. Historically, however, that list broadens considerably.
Vainglory. Unjustified boasting. ‘The Father of Christian Warship’ viewed it as a form of pride. Thus, Pope Gregory folded vainglory into ‘pride’ for his listing of sins. And though the term ‘vainglory’ has become less and less used with the passing of time, it still rears its ugly head. Whether it should truly be viewed as a sin is up for debate. At least with one individual.
‘Vain’. ‘Mr. Ego.’ ‘The Vain One’. ‘The Money Maker.’ ‘Vanity at its Finest’. ‘Arrogance Personified.’ He goes by many monikers, but on a cold January night in 1983, he was born with one name, and one name only.
Alan Wallace.
The casual observer would remark that being born into money is a good thing, as it means those fortunate enough to be reared in a situation like that, will have all of the luxuries that they desire, and they will have the chance to do great things in life. Others would state that never having to work for a living teaches children nothing, and that being ‘made of money’ is more of a hindrance, than being helpful. Over the years, Alan Wallace has been able to merge the issue into something completely different.
The monitor flickers to still-photo shots of Alan Wallace as a child: his first Christmas; learning to ride a bike at the age of 4; his first day of school; the days that he found the desire to begin playing his two favorite sports – baseball and football; his high school days of being a two-sport star. The scene switches to a small room, showing an older woman seated in a chair.
“Alan was such a good boy. Granted, he liked to see how much he could get away with, but he was an extremely loving child.”
As the still-photos of Alan Wallace begin showing on the screen again, ‘Vain’ Alan Wallace’s voice is heard.
“Vain can’t believe how old Aunt Regina has gotten. Maybe if she would have taken The Money Maker’s advice with regards to her health, she wouldn’t have one foot in the grave right now. As for when Vain was a child, Regina couldn’t handle the fact that Vain was always better at everything, than the two worthless rejects that she brought into this world. The fact that she is now the epitome of love and kindness when it comes to Vanity at its Finest, only stems from the fact that Vain has been monetarily taking care of her the last ten years, as her spawn have turned into wastes of space.”
The scene on the monitor switches to a man of about 50 years of age, sporting a baseball cap to cover his now thinning hair.
“Alan was the greatest baseball player that I had seen in 20 years of coaching to that point, and in the 12 years since, still nobody compares. And as good as he was at baseball, he might have been even better at football. As his coach in both sports, he made my job easy.”
Videos of his high school sports days begin to play, as ‘Vain’ Alan Wallace’s voice is heard again.
“Ahh, Coach Mowery. Vain remembers the hell you put him through. You used Vain’s athleticism to parlay yourself into an untouchable position at Jefferson High. The masses looked at you as if you were a coaching wizard, when you only made a name for yourself after Mr. Ego strapped you to his back, and carried you to championship glory. The season that Vain blew out his knee when being tackled in the state championship game…Vain remembers you blaming him for the loss, and then not talking to him after that. And that was Vain’s Senior year. Where were you then, you sanctimonious piece of shit?”
Alan Wallace grew up in a normal childhood; his parents not allowing him to use their stature to gain any type of advantage. He was forced to carve his own path in life, and rely on his own skill and intellect, in making his way through school, and becoming an adult. Somewhere along the way, however, Vain lost sight of this. He had money…he was making even more money purely based upon drive and determination…and he had a natural talent to succeed at anything that he chose to do.
What he chose, was professional wrestling.
Video clips of ‘Vain’ Alan Wallace in action while working for Headstrong Wrestling begin to play. Clips from matches against the likes of Taurus Capone, Deszarus, Hoju, The Mainstreamer, Stuvix, Al Coholic, The Jackrabbit, Johnny Kae, Sean Edmunds envelop the television screen. As the match clips play, the voice of ‘Vain’ Alan Wallace is heard.
“Vain was just as pretty then, as he is now. And look at the agility. Vain wrestled everyone that company threw at him, and Vain beat them all. Each time, the story was the same. Some pretender would win a few matches, proclaim himself to be the next big thing, and then would set his sights on Mr. Ego. And each time, when the dust would settle, The Vain One ALWAYS reigned supreme. It got to the point that Vain had nobody left to fight. That company closed with Vain as its champion. Fitting, in Vain’s opinion, because that company wasn’t good enough for Vain anymore.”
As Alan Wallace created more and more success for himself, his ego continued to grow. So much so, that his ego was the reason that some people proclaimed was the cause of him being out of wrestling for as long as he was, after Headstrong Wrestling closed its doors. He had alienated many of those that he had come into contact with during his career, and people had tired of his routine. But Alan Wallace has never been one to back down from a challenge; never been one to accept defeat.
Video clips from UGWC begin to play, showing clips of matches featuring Cypress Morgan, Eden Morgan, Zane Scott, Chadwick T. Chaos, Jordan King, Travis Pierce, and Jet Somers. Vain’s voice is heard again.
"Vain knew his people needed him. They had no hero to look up to in the world of pro wrestling once Vain retired, and The Vain One couldn’t live with himself if he didn’t give the people what they wanted; what they needed. It took quite a while, but Vain finally found the place that he would call home: UGWC. And the ‘giving back’ that Vain has decided to do begins this week.
Vain can think of nothing better, than to go against the best that UGWC has to offer, and win some gold in the process. Nothing against any of the other competitors, but does anyone actually think that Vain won’t come out on top, and become the Cooperative Champions? Do any of the other teams even stand a chance?
Eden Morgan and Zane Scott have been playing tiddly-winks for the last few months, so Vain seriously doubts that winning the Cooperative Titles ranks high on their list of ‘to-dos’. Honestly, Vain thinks they outta just screw and get it over with. Maybe they can do that this week. At least that way, they’ll both feel like they accomplished something. Even if one of them has to fake it.
Cypress Morgan and Chadwick T. Chaos might just be the biggest mis-match in the whole thing. A big burly biker, teaming with ‘the artist formerly known as a big burly biker who now acts like an imbecile while being treated like a jackass and being too stupid to realize it’? Whether they used to ride together or not is irrelevant; there’s no way that pairing wins anything come Monday. Unless there’s an award for ‘Most Painful Event of 2013’. Then they could find themselves in the running.
Travis Pierce and Jet Somers are the reigning Cooperative Champs, but Erika Langford was buying her first tampon the last time they defended their titles. Throw in the fact that Jet is losing his mind, and they’re ripe for the picking."
The television monitor pauses on a still of JK. The camera then zooms out, showing Vain standing behind the monitor. He smiles that beautifully perfect smile that makes women melt.
"And that leaves Vain with JK. A man that has had a few unkind things to say concerning The Vain One since he returned to the squared circle; a man that will be the opposing captain in Vain’s match at Outlast; and a man that, this week, will be Vain’s tag team partner. Vain will let you in on a little secret, JK…Vain doesn’t need you as a tag team partner, and Vain doesn’t want you as a tag team partner. However, Vain will have to suffer with you as a tag team partner, if Mr. Ego is to walk out of Synergy as the new UGWC Cooperative Champions. So Vain will tow the company line, and set aside his differences this week, for the good of the people. Because the people want to see Vain with gold around his waist. The people NEED to see Vain with gold around his waist. You? You are the person that has been tasked to ensure that Vain IS wearing gold around his waist at the end of the night. Once that happens, you’re services are no longer required.
Get ready, boys and girls, because Arrogance Personified is about to show all of you how to steal a show…and how to look spectacular while doing it."
Vain turns and walks away, as the television monitor begins rolling the credits. One last voiceover is heard.
In the late 6th Century, the words Vain and Glory – while once bound together – were torn apart by the act of one man. In the 21st Century, one man strives to bring them together once more.
Vain. Glory. A match made in Heaven.
**This work is in no way affiliated with ESPN, or any of its related productions**
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