Post by Seito Risa on Sept 16, 2013 17:46:52 GMT -5
Risa sat on the edge of her bed. Her bed. Her apartment. The flight back from Cleveland had drained most of her strength, but she so loved watching the clouds and the ground pass beneath the planes wings. Upon getting home she had taken a nap, from which she had just awoken. She had not had the chance to go visit PMN at the hospital. After her discharge, another round of texts went unanswered.
I really can't blame them. They must be worried to death. They probably really don't have an interest in talking to me anyway. What good did I do them in the end? Absolutely none.
She sighed, staring at the stuffed Eeyore Ichiro had brought her. He knew the depressed donkey was her favorite, because normally he was so opposite of her. This afternoon, however, she felt she could give him a run for his money. Or his broken balloon and empty hunny jar. She sighs as her tears try to well up. She hugs the donkey tightly with her right hand. She chided herself for the self pity, but at the same time, she couldn't figure any other way to add up what had happened. She had signed on with PMN to help protect Eden. She had crashed and burned. Miserably. Her left shoulder twitched, causing her to grimace. For one so used to bountiful genki, it was difficult having to stay restrained. She had had to all but sign a sworn statement to Ichiro that she wouldn't over-exert herself while he was out picking up another pack of iTunes cards.
What have I done for him? Just worried him until he can hardly sleep. The man is as close to me as anyone will probably ever be. If he were interested, I would marry him. Good, reliable man with a good sense of the world. A lot better than I have.
She turned and set the Eeyore on the pillow at the head of her bed and scooted to the edge of the bed. She navigated her way to the kitchen, retrieving a glass from one of the cabinets. She set it on the counter and retrieved a handful of ice, which she dropped into the cup. She then filled the glass with water from the tap and sipped at it.
What good could I be to anyone like this? I'm a wounded bird. Grounded. If not for Ichiro the cursed cobras would have had me for lunch.
She smiled.
Ichiro as Riki-tiki-tavi. Now there's a apt thought if ever there was one.
She sipped again from the water and walked into the living/dining area of the small apartment and settled into the recliner she favored. She leaned back, the foot rest coming up beneath her feet.
This is what I am now. A chair potato. Chair carrot? Something. I'm no good to anyone like this. Then again, I was no good to...
Her thought trailed off as the door opened and Ichiro entered, carrying a small bag. He walked up to her and pulled out the iTunes cards and set them on her lap.
I: "That should cover that series of books you wanted. Perm or whatever."
Risa smiled, or at least tried to. Ichiro had been continuing to try to get her to laugh, or get mad. Anything to draw an emotional response from her. She ignored it, but appreciated it.
SR: "Pern. Easy enough to mistake though."
Ichiro looked her in her brown eyes as he knelt down next to the chair. She avoided contact.
I: "Risa-kun. I wish I could do something..."
Risa shook her head at him.
SR: "Kneeling on the other side of the chair would have been helpful, so I could at least touch you."
He looked around, as if only just now realizing that himself. He got up to move but she waved him off.
SR: "Nevermind now. You shouldn't be worried so much."
Ichiro tilted his head to the side.
I: "Risa-kun. Look at me. Please?"
She resisted at first, but finally lifted her eyes from the glass of water in her lap..and it was indeed cold water...and looked him in his eyes.
I: "What do you want? What will make you feel better? Name it."
Risa thought that question over, her eyes held by his. His honest desire to make her happy again, to help her get out of her self-destructive funk. He knew when her defense mechanism failed things were serious. She lowered her eyes from his.
SR: "Ichiro. I want to go home."
He looked around.
I: "You are home."
Risa looked up at him, unable to stop the tears this time.
SR: "No. Home."
He lowered his eyes, considered this a moment then nodded.
I: "Hai. If that is what you think is best, I will arrange it. I will call your Mother and get tickets. Should I do one way or round trip?"
Risa knew what that meant. Was this it? Was she quitting? She was afraid of that answer herself.
SR: "Round trip."
That seemed to make him feel better. He smiled and got to his feet, pausing long enough as he walked by to touch her right shoulder.
I: "I know this is hard for you. But you will make it through."
She smiled at him, not answering. He headed for his room to make the call on the land line. Risa sighed as she watched him go.
I'm so sorry. But it made you smile. And we can always cancel them on the other end.
She looked down into her glass of water.
I was right. I didn't make it back from Outlast. I'm sorry.
She leaned her head back, looking up at the ceiling.
The first step to recovery, is admission.
After a moment, and hearing Ichiro trying to answer her Mother's twenty-million questions, Risa lifted her glass of water and took a deep drink.
All the Heavens, thank you for him.
She lowered her glass, closed her eyes and listened to his voice.
I really can't blame them. They must be worried to death. They probably really don't have an interest in talking to me anyway. What good did I do them in the end? Absolutely none.
She sighed, staring at the stuffed Eeyore Ichiro had brought her. He knew the depressed donkey was her favorite, because normally he was so opposite of her. This afternoon, however, she felt she could give him a run for his money. Or his broken balloon and empty hunny jar. She sighs as her tears try to well up. She hugs the donkey tightly with her right hand. She chided herself for the self pity, but at the same time, she couldn't figure any other way to add up what had happened. She had signed on with PMN to help protect Eden. She had crashed and burned. Miserably. Her left shoulder twitched, causing her to grimace. For one so used to bountiful genki, it was difficult having to stay restrained. She had had to all but sign a sworn statement to Ichiro that she wouldn't over-exert herself while he was out picking up another pack of iTunes cards.
What have I done for him? Just worried him until he can hardly sleep. The man is as close to me as anyone will probably ever be. If he were interested, I would marry him. Good, reliable man with a good sense of the world. A lot better than I have.
She turned and set the Eeyore on the pillow at the head of her bed and scooted to the edge of the bed. She navigated her way to the kitchen, retrieving a glass from one of the cabinets. She set it on the counter and retrieved a handful of ice, which she dropped into the cup. She then filled the glass with water from the tap and sipped at it.
What good could I be to anyone like this? I'm a wounded bird. Grounded. If not for Ichiro the cursed cobras would have had me for lunch.
She smiled.
Ichiro as Riki-tiki-tavi. Now there's a apt thought if ever there was one.
She sipped again from the water and walked into the living/dining area of the small apartment and settled into the recliner she favored. She leaned back, the foot rest coming up beneath her feet.
This is what I am now. A chair potato. Chair carrot? Something. I'm no good to anyone like this. Then again, I was no good to...
Her thought trailed off as the door opened and Ichiro entered, carrying a small bag. He walked up to her and pulled out the iTunes cards and set them on her lap.
I: "That should cover that series of books you wanted. Perm or whatever."
Risa smiled, or at least tried to. Ichiro had been continuing to try to get her to laugh, or get mad. Anything to draw an emotional response from her. She ignored it, but appreciated it.
SR: "Pern. Easy enough to mistake though."
Ichiro looked her in her brown eyes as he knelt down next to the chair. She avoided contact.
I: "Risa-kun. I wish I could do something..."
Risa shook her head at him.
SR: "Kneeling on the other side of the chair would have been helpful, so I could at least touch you."
He looked around, as if only just now realizing that himself. He got up to move but she waved him off.
SR: "Nevermind now. You shouldn't be worried so much."
Ichiro tilted his head to the side.
I: "Risa-kun. Look at me. Please?"
She resisted at first, but finally lifted her eyes from the glass of water in her lap..and it was indeed cold water...and looked him in his eyes.
I: "What do you want? What will make you feel better? Name it."
Risa thought that question over, her eyes held by his. His honest desire to make her happy again, to help her get out of her self-destructive funk. He knew when her defense mechanism failed things were serious. She lowered her eyes from his.
SR: "Ichiro. I want to go home."
He looked around.
I: "You are home."
Risa looked up at him, unable to stop the tears this time.
SR: "No. Home."
He lowered his eyes, considered this a moment then nodded.
I: "Hai. If that is what you think is best, I will arrange it. I will call your Mother and get tickets. Should I do one way or round trip?"
Risa knew what that meant. Was this it? Was she quitting? She was afraid of that answer herself.
SR: "Round trip."
That seemed to make him feel better. He smiled and got to his feet, pausing long enough as he walked by to touch her right shoulder.
I: "I know this is hard for you. But you will make it through."
She smiled at him, not answering. He headed for his room to make the call on the land line. Risa sighed as she watched him go.
I'm so sorry. But it made you smile. And we can always cancel them on the other end.
She looked down into her glass of water.
I was right. I didn't make it back from Outlast. I'm sorry.
She leaned her head back, looking up at the ceiling.
The first step to recovery, is admission.
After a moment, and hearing Ichiro trying to answer her Mother's twenty-million questions, Risa lifted her glass of water and took a deep drink.
All the Heavens, thank you for him.
She lowered her glass, closed her eyes and listened to his voice.
