Post by Lord Hastings on Jul 30, 2009 20:13:11 GMT -5
Monday...
Donovan is standing in the parking lot of the GIW arena with his arms crossed. The entire arena is taped off with the words "SEIZED BY THE US GOVERNMENT."
Hastings: Wonderful.
Donovan glances across the parking lot and sees Cal Raynor and Ryan Cross standing and talking to each other on the other side.
Hastings: At least I'm not the only asshole stuck out here.
Owen Peterson runs up to Donovan.
Peterson: Lord Chief! We've got a problem!
Hastings: You're damn right we do! My cloak is in there. How can I be the One True Lord Chief Nigga without my regal cloak?
Peterson: Um...actually, that would be a great reason to-
Hastings: Don't start with that pirate shit again. We're not doing it.
Peterson: Ok.
Hastings: What the hell is this, anyway? They can't keep us out of the NiggaCave!
Peterson: Actually, they can. The arena has been seized by the United States government, because they feel GIW is a corrupting force on today's generation!
Hastings: So, GIW is bad for kids, but Spongebob isn't.
Peterson: I guess.
Hastings: The average child watches a million murders on TV by the time they reach adulthood, but Hastings forbid they see Montgomery's boobs.
Peterson: Do they really?
Hastings: I think so. I read it somewhere.
Peterson notices Cal and Ryan across the parking lot.
Peterson: Cal's here.
Hastings: She is!?!? Where?
Donovan looks around and spots Cal Raynor talking on his cell phone.
Hastings: You ass! That's Dread!
Peterson: You mean Dredd.
Hastings: You got me all worked up! I thought...you're a fucking ass.
Peterson: Sorry.
Hastings: Well, as long as he's here...threaten him.
Peterson: What?
Hastings: Do it, Niglet.
Peterson: Cross is over there, and who knows what he'll do. I'm not going over there, and he's not going to hear me from this far away anyway.
Hastings: Here, use this.
He hands Peterson a megaphone.
Peterson: Where'd you get this?
Hastings: I found it. Now threaten him, and do it proper.
Peterson sighs, and turns on the microphone. It makes a rediculous ear piercing squelch as it turns on. Raynor and Cross glance over, but turn away.
Peterson: Hey, ya mad stupid beeotch! Why can't ya spell yo' name right? What kind o' uh mad stupid bastard ya be thinking ya git ta be dat top contender ta dat Undisputed Global Championship? What 'chew thinking man?
Hastings: That's a good Niglet. Keep it up!
Peterson: I don't think they care.
Hastings: I said keep it up, Niglet!
Peterson sighs.
Peterson: Who da fuq ya jivin' at boy? You bomb git ta stepping or walk dat path right cuz da one true Lord Chief Nigga, he done whipped yo' ass in Japan already. Slap mah fro!
It's ignored.
Hastings: This isn't working. Flash gang signs!
Peterson: Flash what?
Hastings: Niglet!
Donovan and Peterson flash gang signs and other rediculous hand signals as Raynor and Cross walk out of the parking lot.
Hastings: Well, that went well.
Donovan looks back at the arena. Several seconds pass in silence.
Peterson: GIW can't get booked anywhere in the states now. I don't know what is going to happen to all of us after No Holds Barred.
For the first time, Donovan looks away from the arena and directly at Peterson.
Hastings: You'll have a job, Owen.
Peterson: I hope so.
Hastings: You'll be fine, don't worry about it. I hear you've gotten a bit of a cult following online. You could do personal appearances.
Peterson: Great.
Hastings: Have some ambition, man! You could write a book or something.
Peterson: So long as I don't have to "write it proper."
A few moments of silence.
Hastings: You know why I came to GIW, don't you?
Peterson: I assumed it was to torture me.
Hastings: I need to accomplish something. I need my life to mean something. So many people live their lives, they die, and the world is no different as a result. They're forgotten. I intend to live forever. People die. Legends are eternal. I can be a legend, Owen. The land of the rising sun can be the land of my rising legend. When I win this match, I become the number one contender. When I win the Global Championship, I make my mark on history. It's destiny. It's my life's goal. I'm going to be the greatest Global Champion in history, and people will talk about me long after I'm gone.
Peterson: Right.
Hastings: And when I've done all that, maybe...maybe...she'll come back.
They both stare at the signs in front of the arena.
Hastings: I want my fucking cloak.
Peterson: I know.
Hastings: When do we fly out?
Peterson: Tomorrow. Everyone is on the same flight, I think.
Hastings: The poor flight attendants.
Peterson: No kidding.
Silence.
Peterson: You think we'll be back here?
Donovan smiles.
Hastings: It is inevitable.
Donovan is standing in the parking lot of the GIW arena with his arms crossed. The entire arena is taped off with the words "SEIZED BY THE US GOVERNMENT."
Hastings: Wonderful.
Donovan glances across the parking lot and sees Cal Raynor and Ryan Cross standing and talking to each other on the other side.
Hastings: At least I'm not the only asshole stuck out here.
Owen Peterson runs up to Donovan.
Peterson: Lord Chief! We've got a problem!
Hastings: You're damn right we do! My cloak is in there. How can I be the One True Lord Chief Nigga without my regal cloak?
Peterson: Um...actually, that would be a great reason to-
Hastings: Don't start with that pirate shit again. We're not doing it.
Peterson: Ok.
Hastings: What the hell is this, anyway? They can't keep us out of the NiggaCave!
Peterson: Actually, they can. The arena has been seized by the United States government, because they feel GIW is a corrupting force on today's generation!
Hastings: So, GIW is bad for kids, but Spongebob isn't.
Peterson: I guess.
Hastings: The average child watches a million murders on TV by the time they reach adulthood, but Hastings forbid they see Montgomery's boobs.
Peterson: Do they really?
Hastings: I think so. I read it somewhere.
Peterson notices Cal and Ryan across the parking lot.
Peterson: Cal's here.
Hastings: She is!?!? Where?
Donovan looks around and spots Cal Raynor talking on his cell phone.
Hastings: You ass! That's Dread!
Peterson: You mean Dredd.
Hastings: You got me all worked up! I thought...you're a fucking ass.
Peterson: Sorry.
Hastings: Well, as long as he's here...threaten him.
Peterson: What?
Hastings: Do it, Niglet.
Peterson: Cross is over there, and who knows what he'll do. I'm not going over there, and he's not going to hear me from this far away anyway.
Hastings: Here, use this.
He hands Peterson a megaphone.
Peterson: Where'd you get this?
Hastings: I found it. Now threaten him, and do it proper.
Peterson sighs, and turns on the microphone. It makes a rediculous ear piercing squelch as it turns on. Raynor and Cross glance over, but turn away.
Peterson: Hey, ya mad stupid beeotch! Why can't ya spell yo' name right? What kind o' uh mad stupid bastard ya be thinking ya git ta be dat top contender ta dat Undisputed Global Championship? What 'chew thinking man?
Hastings: That's a good Niglet. Keep it up!
Peterson: I don't think they care.
Hastings: I said keep it up, Niglet!
Peterson sighs.
Peterson: Who da fuq ya jivin' at boy? You bomb git ta stepping or walk dat path right cuz da one true Lord Chief Nigga, he done whipped yo' ass in Japan already. Slap mah fro!
It's ignored.
Hastings: This isn't working. Flash gang signs!
Peterson: Flash what?
Hastings: Niglet!
Donovan and Peterson flash gang signs and other rediculous hand signals as Raynor and Cross walk out of the parking lot.
Hastings: Well, that went well.
Donovan looks back at the arena. Several seconds pass in silence.
Peterson: GIW can't get booked anywhere in the states now. I don't know what is going to happen to all of us after No Holds Barred.
For the first time, Donovan looks away from the arena and directly at Peterson.
Hastings: You'll have a job, Owen.
Peterson: I hope so.
Hastings: You'll be fine, don't worry about it. I hear you've gotten a bit of a cult following online. You could do personal appearances.
Peterson: Great.
Hastings: Have some ambition, man! You could write a book or something.
Peterson: So long as I don't have to "write it proper."
A few moments of silence.
Hastings: You know why I came to GIW, don't you?
Peterson: I assumed it was to torture me.
Hastings: I need to accomplish something. I need my life to mean something. So many people live their lives, they die, and the world is no different as a result. They're forgotten. I intend to live forever. People die. Legends are eternal. I can be a legend, Owen. The land of the rising sun can be the land of my rising legend. When I win this match, I become the number one contender. When I win the Global Championship, I make my mark on history. It's destiny. It's my life's goal. I'm going to be the greatest Global Champion in history, and people will talk about me long after I'm gone.
Peterson: Right.
Hastings: And when I've done all that, maybe...maybe...she'll come back.
They both stare at the signs in front of the arena.
Hastings: I want my fucking cloak.
Peterson: I know.
Hastings: When do we fly out?
Peterson: Tomorrow. Everyone is on the same flight, I think.
Hastings: The poor flight attendants.
Peterson: No kidding.
Silence.
Peterson: You think we'll be back here?
Donovan smiles.
Hastings: It is inevitable.