Post by Eden Morgan on Dec 7, 2013 0:00:16 GMT -5
Learn to Fly
“You shouldn’t have done that,” Eden closes her eyes, pressing a hand to her forehead. She crosses her legs, her well-tailored business suit hugging her body to perfection. Jason swivels his chair around to look at her, unbuckling his seat belt now that the plane is well in the air. He kneels in front of her chair, brushing her face with a hand. She opens her eyes to look at him, his face serious.
“I’m not going to let them push me away, Edie. You deserve more than that.”
Eden swats his hand away, her eyes sparking with anger.
“You provoked them, Jase! I was right there!”
Jason’s lips set in a thin line and he snatches at her hands, holding them firmly in his.
“You know they started it, so don’t put this all on me. I should have handled it better, I realize that, but Eden, you don’t know the little digs I’ve been subjected to by them. Even before we—“ he leaves it unsaid, the flush staining Eden’s cheeks letting him know she took his meaning correctly. He grins softly, knowing he was no longer in trouble, at least not with her. She squeezes his hands in return, sighing.
“I’m sorry, I just… I’m a mess right now, Jase.”
“Nerves?” he questions her.
She laughs lightly.
“I wish I could say it wasn’t, but yeah. Definitely feeling some butterflies right now. This… is the most important event of the year—and I’m in the main event. Me. Facing Zane. For the World Championship at Horizons. In Madison Square Garden. Who am I to do that? What was I thinking? I haven’t even been in this industry a year, I can’t even remember a majority of that year, and I… I…” she looks around, her eyes tearing up, panic looming in their depths. Jason quickly places his hands on either side of her face, bringing it close to his, his voice gentle but firm.
“Don’t do that. You deserve this. No one else, Eden, YOU do. You’re psyching yourself out, just stop it. You can’t think like that. You are Eden Morgan. Former World Champion. And you know what? You did that in just a few months from your debut. You are something special and you have more talent and potential in your little finger than most people have in their entire bodies. You can do this. Now, breathe. That’s a girl,” his thumbs stroke her cheeks as he talks, Eden breathing deeply. Finally, her eyes open and she nods her head.
“Thank you. I’m fine, I think it’s this… this plane. I’ve just felt weird since I’ve been on it. Like I’m being pulled in every direction at once, but I guess it’s because I used to ride on it a lot, didn’t I? PMN’s private jet. I’m sure I’ve been on it a few times,” she whispers at the end, looking out the window. Jason watches her worriedly before getting to his feet and taking his seat, his eyes never leaving her.
Eden continues to study the land beneath them, the patchwork quilt of it all and the doll-like houses completely surreal to her. She swallows hard, trying to steer her mind in another direction, any other direction, coming back to the scene that had occurred at the airport. Zane, Damarest, Colin, and Spyder, united against Jase. Damarest making the point that it might be better for Jase to seek other transportation, but that Eden was welcome to come with them. And her decision that had caused the looks of disappointment on the faces of Colin and Spyder, the looks that had struck her like the slash of a knife.
That hurts the most. I have so much respect for both of them, but I feel like I’m a constant letdown. I just… I don’t understand how they can have such a different view of Jase. Maybe it’s coming from Zane. I know now he and Jase had issues before I lost my memory. Maybe his viewpoint is coloring theirs. I just know I don’t want to see that look on their faces ever again.
“What’s the serious thoughts, Edie?” Jase interrupts her, drawing her attention back to him. She shakes her head.
“I can’t stop thinking about earlier, Jase—“
“Oh for fuck’s sake, Edie, get over it. I’m sure they have. If you think anyone on that other plane gives a damn about you or is giving anything that happened more than the second of thought it deserved, you’re crazy. When are you going to get it through your head, they’re using you?! You’re a convenience and a tool to be used. That’s it. There’s your brutal honesty you’re always after,” he finishes, turning his chair completely around, already irritated and cursing himself for saying what he had.
Eden says nothing, simply staring out the window.
…………………………………………………………………….
Welcome Home
Jason climbs out of the limo, offering a hand in to Eden as he turns to look up at the looming building before them. The new home of the Piercing Media Network. Eden shivers, the reaction not from the cold, more from an unsettled inner discomfort. She reaches out to take Jason’s hand, her face draining of color when instead of Jason standing there, it’s Jet Somers reaching in to her, a small smile on his face.
“Edie? Eden! Are you okay?” Jason leans into the car, a concerned look on his face. Eden looks up at him, Jet’s face fading back into Jase’s. She shakes her head and blinks a few times.
“I’m fine. Just… déjà vu I guess,” she says softly, taking Jason’s hand and stepping from the vehicle. The two of them step up to the building, the doors opening seemingly of their own accord. The two of them enter the building, Eden looking around wide-eyed as they’re surrounded by smiling faces, the entire lower level erupting into thunderous applause and cheers. Many of them reach out, patting her shoulder or stepping forward to give her a warm hug as a chorus of “Welcome Backs” greet her. Eden smiles and gives a little laugh, their exuberance catching. Jason watches each person who comes forward carefully, staying protectively close to her. He suddenly stiffens and, looking around, she notices why. Standing at the center of the room, before a beautiful, white marble fountain are Jet Somers and Travis Pierce, the two of them applauding right along with everyone else. Travis steps forward first, embracing Eden as if he hasn’t seen her in years.
“Welcome back, Edie,” he whispers in her ear, kissing her on the cheek before stepping away. His eyes cut over to Jason, instantly dismissing him as he turns back to Eden with a smile. Before she can respond, she’s wrapped in an almost bear hug from Jet, surprise emanating from her. Jet steps back, a slightly apologetic and almost goofy look plastered across his face.
“Sorry, it’s just… great to see you here,” he says as he also glances over at Jason, his expression changing for the briefest of seconds to one of contempt. He quickly masks it, smiling at Eden.
“Th-thanks. This… this is amazing,” she says gesturing at everyone and flashing one of her blinding smiles at them. Many in the crowd nod appreciatively, the crowd starting to disperse.
“Zane’s ahead of you, he’s been here for at least thirty minutes, but you definitely still have time to recover from your trip before the show. If you’ll follow me, I’ll show you where you can relax and prepare yourself. We’ve also provided you with rooms, should you decide to grace us with your presence tonight,” Travis says graciously, stepping forward and placing an arm around Eden’s shoulders as he leads her off. Jason steps forward to follow as well, not liking being cut out of things so efficiently, when Jet steps in front of him, his visage completely altered from what it was just moments ago. To say it’s unfriendly would be being kind. Jason looks at him with annoyance as he tries to go around him, Jet pushing him back lightly with a hand to his chest. He holds up a hand.
“That was a warning. Next time won’t be so gentle. You can wait outside. You’re not needed here.”
Jason smirks at Jet, stepping a little closer as he keeps an eye on Eden walking slowly away from him. She turns around and waves him forward, Jason waving at her in return. Jet stiffens, Jason speaking low so only he can hear.
“You tell her that. Is that what bothers you, Somers? The fact that I’m the one she needs now, not you? Or is it because I got somewhere with her you never could?” he grins, safe in the knowledge that Jet won’t act out in front of Eden, calmly stepping around him to catch up to her. Jet turns, watching him go, something dark stirring in the depths of his eyes.
……………………………………………………………………………………………….
Confessions: Part Two
“I think we’re ready for the questions. Anytime,” Eden finishes with a sweet, but completely stressed-looking smile, the smile not quite reaching her eyes.
Pepper turns back to Zane’s table.
“Zane, how do you feel about fighting a close friend ?”
Zane sits silently for a moment, considering his response. When he responds, his tone is even and calm.
“I see it as a challenge.” He replies. “Emotion can’t have anything to do with it. I need to beat Eden to finally show that I deserve to hold this Championship. I’ve been champion since September ninth. I held the Cross-Hemisphere Championship for seven months and I fully intend on making that Championship reign pale in comparison to my World Championship reign. Eden is an obstruction to that happening. I have to beat her. It’s not personal. It’s business.”
Pepper Phoenix turns to Eden. “Same question, Eden. How do you feel about fighting a close friend?”
Eden pauses a moment, considering the question and Zane’s response.
“Well, for one thing, I wouldn’t necessarily call Zane and I close friends. We’ve said it time and again. This is an alliance, and while we’re working on our friendship, we’re not there yet. So, I have to agree with the Champ—it’s just business.”
She looks expectantly at Pepper Phoenix, Pepper looking back down at his cards. His brow wrinkles in confusion and he gives a little laugh, shaking his head.
“Silly me, I must have gotten the cards mixed up. Zane, that was your question, but Eden, that wasn’t meant for you. No harm done, our viewers are always up for more information. Alright, now this one does pertain to you both, I’m sure of it. Eden, we’ll go with you first this time. Do you really think if you win the alliance with Zane will hold?”
Eden looks over at the other table, catching Zane’s eye. She clears her throat, Jase stiffening beside her as she starts her answer.
“I’d like to think that yes, the alliance would hold. I respect Zane as a champion and I expect no less from him. As we both said before, this is just business, there’s no heat to this match. If he wins, I’ll congratulate him and be happy for him, and I feel he would do the same for me.”
Pepper’s eyebrow arches, but he turns to Zane’s table. “Similar question, Zane, what happens to the alliance with Eden if you happen to lose?”
“If I lose, she’s the World Champion.” He says with a shrug, as if he’s just stating the obvious. “Our alliance won’t change, at least not in my mind. That doesn’t mean that it won’t change in the minds of others, and that could cause problems.”
Zane nods in the affirmative and gestures for Pepper to continue.
“What is the weakness that you’re afraid that Eden will exploit ?”
Zane sits silently for a moment with his hand in front of his mouth and his brow furrowed in thought. The entire room seems to sit in suspense as he considers his response. It’s impossible to tell if he is considering his words so carefully or if he’s just making it look that way for dramatic purpose.
“Honestly Pepper.” He responds. “I’m concerned that she’ll try to use her foot to give me another nose job.”
The response draws a loud laugh from the room as he’d given the answer with a big smile on his face. Pepper turns to Eden, nodding at her.
“Same question to you, Eden. What is the weakness that you’re afraid that Zane will exploit?”
The crowd quietens down, awaiting her response. Eden gives a coy smile and a little chuckle.
“Now really, Pepper, who actually answers that seriously? You want me to reveal a weakness that I’m worried that Zane will exploit? Which basically gives him the license and the idea to do it? I know I’m naïve, sweetie, but that just isn’t good business,” she laughs as she finishes, the audience laughing with her. She suddenly cuts off, gasping, as a flash brightens behind her eyes and instantly she sees herself slumped in a corner of a ring, Zane furiously stomping away at her. Her face pales and she stops breathing for a moment, Jason reaching out and gripping her hand tightly. He turns her to face him, gripping her face in his hand.
“Edie… Edie you okay? What’s wrong?” his voice is all business as he watches her closely. Finally, the feeling recedes and she looks at him wide-eyed and a little panicky. She gulps in a breath of air and swallows hard, shaking her head.
“I’m fine… hiccups,” she gives a fake smile to Pepper Phoenix and the crowd, more tittering occurring. Jason continues to watch her, not buying her explanation at all. Pepper doesn’t appear to buy it either, as he looks at her with concern for a moment before looking back to Zane.
“After that I think it better to give the next couple of questions to you.” He says. “They’re going to be light hearted ones too. The people asked, so we have to pass them along.”
“Ok.” Zane says with a certain degree of indifference in his voice.
“Very well.” Pepper replies. “First, what are the top three things on your Christmas list ?”
Zane replies to the question by raising his left eyebrow.
“Really ?” He replies. “I’m about to fight the biggest match of my career and I get that question ?”
“It’s what was asked, so we’re passing it along.”
“Sure.” Zane answers tersely. “So much for this being serious.”
Pepper looks at Zane in exasperation.
“Can you answer it ?”
“Ok.” Zane replies. “I’m not six. I don’t do “Christmas lists”. If you want an answer though, I want the following three things. First; I want to keep my World Championship. Second, to put Jase in traction for the next year or two and third, a train set.”
Pepper replies to the question by blinking stupidly at him.
“Did you just say; “A train set” ?” He asks.
“Of course not.” Zane replies in annoyance. “Why would I have said that ?”
“I could have sworn that you said “a train set”.” Pepper replies.
“Get your ears cleaned out”. Zane answers.
Pepper looks at him suspiciously and then looks out at the full room. Zane sits back in his seat while Damarest leans over and whispers something into his ear, causing him to chuckle a bit. Damarest sits back in his seat with his trademark smirk on his face.
“Ok.” Pepper says, shaking the confusion out of his head. “Continuing.”
Zane gestures for him to continue with a somewhat flourished gesture of his hand. It’s clear that he’s not taking the procedure seriously anymore.
“Well, on to something slightly more serious”. He says. “Is there any truth to the rumors that you’re in talks with Bellator for a cross-promotional deal ?”
Zane responds to the question by shaking his head and laughing.
“No.” He says. “Why in the hell would I do that ? I don’t need the money, I don’t have the time and most of all, I don’t have the interest. Why would I go somewhere else to get my teeth kicked in when there are plenty of assholes here that want to do it ?”
More laughter from the crowd, Pepper trying to fight back a smile, unsure of whether he should laugh at that or not.
“Yes… well let’s get back to your challenger, Eden? What I have for you now started out as three separate questions, but because they’re so similar, I’m going to tie them all together neatly. Are you ready?”
Eden nods, Jason sitting much closer to her than he was before, glaring at Zane over her head, but still remaining quiet. Pepper looks back down at his card.
“Do you think you’ll ever get your memory back, do you even want your memory back, and finally, if you could erase one memory you do have, or one you've recovered, what would it be?”
Eden takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly before answering. “Well, the first two are relatively easy, Pepper. Yes, I do believe I’ll eventually get my memory back and of course I want it back. I did question it for a short time, I thought if I could build a life without it and be happier, why should I want it back? But—we’re all made up of a series of events, past, present, and future. And for my past I have little to go on. In some ways, that makes me feel like I’m not a complete person, crazy though that may sound. As for the last part, having lost so much already, I’d never choose to lose or erase anything else. The good and the bad, they’re me and they’re mine. I may not like everything I know, but it’s mine to choose whether I like it or not. That’s something I won’t voluntarily give away,” she finishes, her voice growing stronger as she talks. Applause breaks out through the crowd, Eden looking out at them and giving the audience a dazzling smile. Even Pepper Phoenix smiles approvingly.
“Well said, my dear. Now, let’s see what other questions we have for Zane.”
He shuffles his cards around for a moment before his eyes light up.
“I have two that I can combine into one, if that’s ok with you.” He says, looking at Zane.
“Knock yourself out.” Zane replies. “Or better yet, knock Jason out. At least we could say that some aspect of this was fun.”
Pepper gives him an odd look but continues as if he hadn’t heard anything.
“Why has Dirge been showing up more often, lately and what was your punishment for betraying him ?”
Zane visibly shudders at the second half of the question. Damarest puts an arm on his shoulder in a manner that seems oddly reassuring and paternal.
“Take a break, Zane.” He says. “I’ll address these.”
Zane nods his head silently and leans back in his chair, folding his arms across his chest. Damarest looks out over the crowd and leans forward towards the mic.
“Our Master has been showing up more often lately because he desires to do so.” Damarest replies, giving an answer by way of a non-answer. “He has his reasons. Reasons that he wouldn’t begin to wish to destroy the joy of watching play out by blathering it all out here. You should all know by now that Zane wouldn’t answer that, assuming that he knows the full answer, which he doesn’t.”
Pepper eyes Damarest suspiciously before continuing.
“What about my other question ?” He presses. “What did Dirge do you Zane after Zane betrayed him ? It’s one of the biggest unanswered questions in the entire business. Everyone wants to know.”
Damarest shrugs, smirking obnoxiously.
“And so they shall continue to want.” He replies condescendingly. “We may be approaching Christmas, however that is one gift that will not be given nor opened.”
He sits back in his chair, his face calm and confident. Zane smiles at the response. Pepper looks like he’d just had a turd dropped in his lap.
“Right well, back to Eden. I have two questions for you, but they’re not related, I’m just attempting to speed things along before they become more… unpleasant,” Pepper glances over his shoulder to find Damarest still smirking at him. He jerks his attention back to Eden, reading from a card. “How will you counteract what you can obviously see is a great deal of inexperience in big matches in comparison to your opponent?”
Eden licks her lips and shrugs, a tired look on her face. Jason stares straight ahead, not even acknowledging anyone anymore as he broods.
“Whoever asked that question has it right. Compared to Zane, I do have quite a bit of inexperience, even moreso when you consider I don’t even have the majority of my career to fall back on. But you know what? I’m not going to dwell on my inexperience too much. For one, it’ll turn me into a basket case and I’m already enough of that to drive those around me nuts,” she gives a little laugh, the audience laughing with her.
“And secondly… I’ve been in this industry less than a year, whether I can remember it all or not. And I’ve had some amazing things happen to me. I think I’m going to trust in my instinct rather than what someone else considers to be a flaw. I have faith in that,” she finishes, Jason snapping out of it enough to nod approvingly at her, raising her hand to his lips to kiss it. She smiles at him and mouths the words “thank you.”
“Well said, Eden. Now for your next question: Who do you believe has been entirely truthful with you?”
Eden freezes, still looking at Jason. He gives her a winning grin and she shakes her head, a small smile on her lips. “That’s a small list, Pepper. Jason, of course. He’s been amazing and really patient with me. I couldn’t ask for a better friend or…” she leaves it unsaid, her smile growing brighter.
“Is that all?” Pepper asks, cutting his eyes over at Zane’s table. Eden shakes her head.
“No. I believe Zane and Damarest have been truthful with me, as well as my two trainers, Colin and “The Moun-“ I mean… Spyder. Others don’t believe it, but I do. And I hope they know I appreciate that,” she finishes giving the other table a smile, Jason’s good mood vanished as he shakes his head disbelievingly.
“No one else?” Pepper prods her, Zane interrupting him.
“She’s not going to name your employers if that’s what you’re angling at. Every time they open their mouths they lie. Even to themselves,” Zane smirks at the man at the podium. Pepper makes a face, looking through his few remaining cards.
“Well then, appropriate that the last few cards are relevant to your topic, Zane.”
“Ok.” Zane replies. “Make it quick.”
“The question is this,” He says. “If you beat Eden, who do you see your biggest opponent as being in the future and further, given your rivalry and history with Jet Somers, do you see it being him ?”
Zane shakes his head in disgust and laughs, looking up at Pepper.
“Really Pepper ?” He responds. “Did your owners put you up to that question so that you could set Jet up for a cheap ego stroke, or are you asking that to earn cheap brownie points with him ?”
Pepper’s face flushes red and he shakes his head assertively.
“No.” He retorts. “It’s a fair question. The fans submitted it, so I’m asking you just like a good journalist would do.”
“That’s rich.” Zane replies with a snide laugh. “That assumes that you’re either credible or a journalist. That’s like calling Ingalls over there an actual “trainer” or an “adult”, neither of which are true.”
The dig earns a hateful glare from Jason and a regretful look from Eden. Neither of them does anything to wipe the smile from Zane’s face. Pepper takes a deep breath and lays his hands down on the podium.
“Please just answer the question.” He replies tersely.
“Sure. Why not ?” Zane replies. “I detest Jet and he detests me. That’s no big secret. Jet is a fierce competitor and a sneaky bastard, in spite of the “good guy” image that he likes to project. This company is full of challenges, all of them tough…other than JK and that Langford kid anyway and Jet is no different. I’m not going to reveal whom I’m keeping an eye on in respect to whom I end up seeing next. Besides, I still owe title shots to Cypress, Raenius, Vain and Ichabod. My focus right now is on Eden. No one else is important until I beat her.”
“Thank you. Final question is for Eden, and for this question we have a clip to play. Lower the screen, please,” Pepper replies, all businesslike, to someone unseen as a screen begins to lower behind the tables. Eden turns with a surprised look on her face, the others turning as well, a modicum of interest on their faces. Pepper holds up the final card, a serious look on his face as he starts to read.
“I know you won't remember, but since you're digging for your past, maybe you should go back to early this year to just before you won the UGWC Championship. Look and see what you and your brother did to Mark Reznik. How does that make you feel now?”
A hush falls over the crowd as the question is read, Pepper signaling to this same unseen individual, perhaps, to play a clip. The group at the other table watches with interest, a small smile on Zane’s face. Jason stiffens beside Eden and reaches over to get her to look at him.
“Hey, you don’t need to watch this. Just let it go,” he tells her, unsuccessful as Eden turns back around, curiosity eating at her. He looks to Pepper, his face stern. “Stop this. Now. She doesn’t need-“
Pepper throws up his hands and shrugs. “I’m simply asking what the cards say. And this is what has been requested,” he finishes.
“Jase hush, I want to see this,” Eden places a hand on his knee, never taking her eyes from the screen as the clip starts to play. Jason shakes his head, resigned.
The clip shows a young man, thin, with black hair falling in his face, the perfect walking definition of “emo” and Eden out on what appears to be a date. His nervousness is obvious and almost painful to watch, but Eden never removes her eyes from the screen, her brow furrowing as she tries to remember this. Suddenly, the young man grins broadly and the two apparent lovers rush out of the restaurant and into a waiting limo. The limo rocks, Cypress Morgan coming out of the moon roof as a window rolls down in the back to reveal a smirking Eden and the young man slumped over, in obvious pain, his lined eyes running from the tears.
Eden’s face pales, her mouth dropping open as she stares hard at herself, the cold visage almost causing her physical pain. Jason reaches up and places a hand on her shoulder, the action barely registering in her brain as the scene cuts to another clip, this one of the young man badly beaten, being abused in horrible ways inside of the limo—
Eden turns away, tears spilling hotly down her cheeks. She brushes them away as Jason tries to pull her near. She jerks away from him and stands, disoriented for a moment in the dark, the scene still playing, the sounds echoing in her ears.
“Don’t touch me,” she spits at him, and then pausing, closes her eyes tight. “I’m sorry,” she whispers, walking off the stage. Jason stands, trying to decide whether to follow her or not, the men at the other table watching the exchange with interest. Pepper Phoenix turns back to the crowd.
“I think we got our answer. And that concludes our press conference, ladies and gentlemen. We here at the Piercing Media Network hope you have enjoyed this special broadcast, and we’d like to thank Zane and Eden, as well as their respective entourages, for being here with us this evening. See you at Horizons.”
………………………………………………………………………………………..
The Fall
Damarest closes the door, Zane already across the room with three glass tumblers out on the table. He pours a dark brown liquor into each of the three glasses, half-filling them, before bringing the first to Eden as she sits on the couch, her expression vacant.
“Here,” he says, holding the glass out to her. She lifts her hand absently, Zane taking her hand in one of his and gently placing the glass in it, closing her fingers around it.
“Drink it. Might help,” his words sound clipped as he turns back to the sideboard, taking up the other two glasses, handing one off to Damarest, keeping the other for himself. He takes a big swallow, Damarest looking down at the liquor in his glass, swirling it about for a moment.
“You couldn’t have known, my dear. That may as well have been from another life. And what just happened—as much as I dislike giving Mr. Ingalls an out for his sorry behavior, emotions are running high.”
Eden nods, finally taking a drink from the glass Zane had brought her. She makes a face, the liquor burning all the way down her throat before hitting her stomach and unfurling, sending pointed darts through her body.
It was the first thing she had really felt in…
She gets to her feet, the two men watching her closely as she puts her glass down on the small table before her, the clink of glass meeting wood doing nothing to break the rising tension. Without looking at either of them, she mumbles something about going to the restroom, and departs the room, unaware of the looks shared between Zane and Damarest behind her.
Eden closes the door to the bathroom, pressing her back against it. She stands straight for a moment, closing her eyes, before finally slumping over, gripping her face with her hands, her fingers entwining into her hair. Her heart pounds in her chest as she physically shudders, fighting the urge to scream at the top of her lungs, knowing that if she does so she’ll never stop, not until her throat is raw and her voice hoarse. She finally lowers her hands, keeping her gaze cast downward, unable to meet her own eyes in the mirror.
I’m going to shatter into a million pieces. Not physically, but it may as well be. If I face Zane like this he’s going to destroy me. Like he almost did in that other match where he tried to stomp me into oblivion. That didn’t happen at Outlast. That was before…
Eden slides down the door, sitting before it with her knees drawn up to her chest, staring off into the distance, her eyes vacant.
I don’t want to remember anymore. If there’s anything else in my past that’s anything like what I saw tonight… I’m fine without it. And there has to be. People don’t just do something like that randomly. There’s a history, a precedent for it. And if there isn’t, there’s at least some human emotion left, some sympathy, some consideration that maybe this shouldn’t be done. That woman… I can’t even say she was me… there was nothing like that on her face. She enjoyed it. And that’s me. That’s who I am.
Tears fill her eyes, spilling down her cheeks and dropping quickly to the floor. She wraps her arms around her legs, gripping either wrist tightly, the shaking overtaking her again. Eden buries her face against her knees, squeezing her eyes tight, her breathing becoming more frantic.
No, no, no, no, no, NO! I can’t do this again, it has to stop, Jase isn’t here. What would it matter if he was, he’s just as guilty as everyone else. All the fighting and this constant tug of war…
Eden inhales deeply, exhaling slowly through pursed lips, feeling herself calm. She continues to hug her knees tightly, trying to calm herself.
I should have just stayed in the rooms Travis and Jet set aside for me, but I just wanted to get out of there. And now… I have the strongest urge to go back. Why? Am I that sadistic I enjoy my own mental and emotional anguish? But just for a little while, when I first got there… it felt like home…
Eden gets to her feet, brushing herself off as she straightens her clothing, looking into the mirror as she adjusts her makeup, thankful for waterproof products. It’s then that she finally looks into her own eyes, not at all shocked at what she sees there.
Panic. Fear. Anticipation. Eagerness. Emptiness. It was all there.
I’m starting to remember. And I don’t think I want to anymore.
A soft knock at the door, draws her attention, and she briefly wonders at the fact that she didn’t jump when it happened. Had she been expecting it?
“Eden, dear… I apologize for disturbing you, but I simply wanted to ascertain your safety,” Damarest inquires politely through the door.
She remains silent, watching herself carefully, knowing that if she didn’t answer soon there was a good chance the lock would either be picked or the door would be broken in.
“I’m fine,” she responds without thinking, watching with fascination as her lips move, the words coming out of their own volition.
Going through the motions. What I’ve been doing most of the day… except for when I got there. Why?
Eden shakes her head, looking away from her reflection, her hands gripping the cool marble of the sink.
This stops now. Horizons is in just a few days, and I have to be ready.
She closes her eyes, shoving the emotions and all the darkness back inside, fitting them neatly in the little box she had come to envision inside of herself, feeling the desperation and panic draining away. When she opens her eyes, cold blue stares back at her, numbness engulfing her.
And when she walked back into the room, no one noticed.