Post by Lord Hastings on Dec 7, 2013 23:45:13 GMT -5
Hastings: Yes, I understand that. It doesn’t make the situation any more acceptable.
Donovan is pacing while on the phone in his man-cave inside Casa de Hastings.
Hastings: It is not our fault that you attempted to bill the wrong account for four months. We gave you the correct information.
Donovan huffs as he continues to pace.
Hastings: Regardless, it was paid this morning. Why when I already paid the bill, did the power get shut off this afternoon?
Calypso slowly enters the room, cradling a swaddled baby.
Hastings: Why should I have to call back with a confirmation number? YOU gave me the number...I don’t care if it’s a different department. You’re a power provider. I refuse to believe you don’t have a means to communicate within your own company that somebody paid a bill. It’s not like you have to send out a messenger pigeon.
Calypso gently rocks the infant in her arms.
Hastings: What do you mean, between now and midnight? It’s not even 3 o’clock yet!
Donovan looks up at Calypso, an expression of disbelief in his face.
Hastings: Listen, you told me before that it was shut off at 2:30, which means we just barely missed him when we came home from running errands. He is somewhere within a ten minute radius. Turn him around and send him back here…...how can you NOT know where he is? Send the messenger pigeon!
Donovan makes a choking gesture with his free hand.
Hastings: I should think that turning back on power that should never have been turned off to begin with should take some sort of priority over pretty much anything else your serviceman could possibly be doing. Now I have to haul two infants back out of the house because we have no heat, and soon won’t have any light.
Donovan clenches his fist.
Hastings: Why does somebody need to be home? You didn’t need to have somebody here to shut it off! THIS IS NOT OUR FAULT…...NO, I WON’T LOWER MY VOICE!!!!
Calypso glares at Donovan and nods with her head at the now not-sleeping baby. Donovan mouths the word sorry back to her.
Hastings: You go ahead and put the note in the file. I hope this call has been recorded for quality assurance, because somebody at your company has to stop and notice that your policies are dumber than a bearded biker driving a golf cart.
Donovan hangs up the phone and tosses it onto his throne.
Hastings: This is ridiculous.
Calypso: We’ll be okay. I can light some candles and we’ve got plenty of blankets.
Hastings: That’s not the point. It’s maddening that we’re even in this situation.
Calypso: We’ve gone from two paychecks to one and we’ve got a growing list of expenses. We knew this first year would be tough, we just have to get through it.
Hastings: We haven’t just gone from two paychecks to one. I was a main eventer, Cal. Now we’re not drawing those same residuals. Merchandise sales are down. What happens when we can’t afford to keep Owen on?
Calypso: You don’t pay him anything.
Hastings: We’re being pushed out, and it couldn’t happen at a worse time. I was the face of UGWC, and then Zane Scott became the World Heavyweight Champion. His first action as champion is to go ahead and award four punchlines title matches whenever they want them. In doing so, he pushed the rest of us to the bottom. He pushed me to the bottom. Are we about to enter an era of main event after main event of the likes of Cypress Morgan and Alan Wallace? Does anybody really want to see Chaos or Raenius challenging for the World Title?
A baby can be heard crying from another room. Calypso hands the baby she is carrying to Donovan and walks out of the room to tend to it. Donovan looks at the infant he cradles in his arms, tiny eyes looking back at him.
Hastings: Can you imagine that, you growing up having to watch those sort of main events? You know what the problem is with it? When you keep shoveling shit on people, they eventually learn to accept it. Like that avocado concoction that mommy keeps feeding you. Eventually, the UGWC audience is either going to accept the idea of a Morgan facing Zane Scott being a worthy main event, or they’ll shut us off entirely. Either way, that’s money out of my pocket. That’s food out of your mouth.
Baby: Goo.
Hastings: That’s why we have to nip this in the bud at Horizons. I need to be the World Heavyweight Champion again. We all need it, the four of us. The first step of that is taking care of Cypress Morgan. I mean, you look at this clown’s antics, and we’re supposed to think that this fool could be the face of a company? I wouldn’t buy him as the long-forgotten brother on Duck Dynasty. Now he goes ahead and cheats at Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock, and he’s a damned star on the rise.
Baby: Buh.
Hastings: I’ve wiped things off your butt that had more appeal. Speaking of which…
Donovan lifts and takes a whiff.
Hastings: I think you just took a Cypress. Let’s go find your mother.
Donovan is pacing while on the phone in his man-cave inside Casa de Hastings.
Hastings: It is not our fault that you attempted to bill the wrong account for four months. We gave you the correct information.
Donovan huffs as he continues to pace.
Hastings: Regardless, it was paid this morning. Why when I already paid the bill, did the power get shut off this afternoon?
Calypso slowly enters the room, cradling a swaddled baby.
Hastings: Why should I have to call back with a confirmation number? YOU gave me the number...I don’t care if it’s a different department. You’re a power provider. I refuse to believe you don’t have a means to communicate within your own company that somebody paid a bill. It’s not like you have to send out a messenger pigeon.
Calypso gently rocks the infant in her arms.
Hastings: What do you mean, between now and midnight? It’s not even 3 o’clock yet!
Donovan looks up at Calypso, an expression of disbelief in his face.
Hastings: Listen, you told me before that it was shut off at 2:30, which means we just barely missed him when we came home from running errands. He is somewhere within a ten minute radius. Turn him around and send him back here…...how can you NOT know where he is? Send the messenger pigeon!
Donovan makes a choking gesture with his free hand.
Hastings: I should think that turning back on power that should never have been turned off to begin with should take some sort of priority over pretty much anything else your serviceman could possibly be doing. Now I have to haul two infants back out of the house because we have no heat, and soon won’t have any light.
Donovan clenches his fist.
Hastings: Why does somebody need to be home? You didn’t need to have somebody here to shut it off! THIS IS NOT OUR FAULT…...NO, I WON’T LOWER MY VOICE!!!!
Calypso glares at Donovan and nods with her head at the now not-sleeping baby. Donovan mouths the word sorry back to her.
Hastings: You go ahead and put the note in the file. I hope this call has been recorded for quality assurance, because somebody at your company has to stop and notice that your policies are dumber than a bearded biker driving a golf cart.
Donovan hangs up the phone and tosses it onto his throne.
Hastings: This is ridiculous.
Calypso: We’ll be okay. I can light some candles and we’ve got plenty of blankets.
Hastings: That’s not the point. It’s maddening that we’re even in this situation.
Calypso: We’ve gone from two paychecks to one and we’ve got a growing list of expenses. We knew this first year would be tough, we just have to get through it.
Hastings: We haven’t just gone from two paychecks to one. I was a main eventer, Cal. Now we’re not drawing those same residuals. Merchandise sales are down. What happens when we can’t afford to keep Owen on?
Calypso: You don’t pay him anything.
Hastings: We’re being pushed out, and it couldn’t happen at a worse time. I was the face of UGWC, and then Zane Scott became the World Heavyweight Champion. His first action as champion is to go ahead and award four punchlines title matches whenever they want them. In doing so, he pushed the rest of us to the bottom. He pushed me to the bottom. Are we about to enter an era of main event after main event of the likes of Cypress Morgan and Alan Wallace? Does anybody really want to see Chaos or Raenius challenging for the World Title?
A baby can be heard crying from another room. Calypso hands the baby she is carrying to Donovan and walks out of the room to tend to it. Donovan looks at the infant he cradles in his arms, tiny eyes looking back at him.
Hastings: Can you imagine that, you growing up having to watch those sort of main events? You know what the problem is with it? When you keep shoveling shit on people, they eventually learn to accept it. Like that avocado concoction that mommy keeps feeding you. Eventually, the UGWC audience is either going to accept the idea of a Morgan facing Zane Scott being a worthy main event, or they’ll shut us off entirely. Either way, that’s money out of my pocket. That’s food out of your mouth.
Baby: Goo.
Hastings: That’s why we have to nip this in the bud at Horizons. I need to be the World Heavyweight Champion again. We all need it, the four of us. The first step of that is taking care of Cypress Morgan. I mean, you look at this clown’s antics, and we’re supposed to think that this fool could be the face of a company? I wouldn’t buy him as the long-forgotten brother on Duck Dynasty. Now he goes ahead and cheats at Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock, and he’s a damned star on the rise.
Baby: Buh.
Hastings: I’ve wiped things off your butt that had more appeal. Speaking of which…
Donovan lifts and takes a whiff.
Hastings: I think you just took a Cypress. Let’s go find your mother.