Post by Lord Hastings on Jan 31, 2014 12:59:00 GMT -5
We fade in on the image of UGWC reporter and interviewer Grey Coppi, seated on a stool on the set of his underrated weekly webshow.
Coppi: Hello, and welcome to Making Coppis. I’m here today with the co-number one contender to the World Heavyweight Championship, Donovan Hastings.
The camera pulls back to show Donovan standing with his back to Grey, gesturing to someone who is off the camera.
Coppi: Um…
Hastings: Yes, right here.
Donovan kicks the stool meant to him to the side and it tumbles in front of Grey, whose head turns to follow it as it rolls. Two burly men carry a throne into view.
Hastings: Careful, careful with that. It takes Owen weeks to build these things and bling them out properly.
The throne in place, Donovan takes his seat on it.
Coppi: Why…?
Hastings: I’m going to sit on a frigging stool, yeah, okay.
Donovan glances up and sees that Grey is now higher than him, but he pushes a button on his armrest and the throne rises until Donovan is an inch higher.
Hastings: There. Now, proceed.
Coppi: Um, right. In just two weeks, Donovan, you will be-
Hastings: Lord.
Coppi: Sorry.
Hastings: You mean to ask me about the significance of this match at Infinity, and in doing so you have encapsulated the very answer. For too long have I have watched the sands of time descend into the bottom of the hourglass while I waste away these past few years with the peasantry like Kiseragi and Pax.
Coppi: Two years ago when you were involved with Ezekiel Pax, he was the World Heavyweight-
Hastings: HE IS A PEASANT. They all are. Gone are the days when Horizons was main evented by true legends like the Lord of Pain and the TWiSTeD Icon. Deep into the past are the true wars, the epic clashes of legend such as those between myself and the Momentum Killer. Do you know that last year this company promoted a main event that they expected people to pay for that featured Eden Morgan and Seito Risa?
Coppi: Well, I work here, so…yes, I knew that.
Hastings: And you should be embarrassed about it. I certainly am. Appropriate , isn’t it, that match occurred just an hour after Zane Scott nearly ended my career, like UGWC’s own credibility was crushed with me. It’s time to put this house in order.
Coppi: You talk as though you believe that UGWC needs you as champion.
Hastings: That’s because it does. People talk about how UGWC is thriving in the present, many new fans brought into the fold. Imagine what those new fans will think when they are finally presented with a quality product. Yes, Grey, UGWC needs Donovan Hastings to be its World Heavyweight Champion again.
Coppi: And what about you?
Hastings: What do you mean, what about me? We’re already talking about me.
Coppi: Is it possible that YOU need you to be the World Heavyweight Champion?
Hastings: Well I’m a part of UGWC, so logic would extend that yes, I do. You probably could have extrapolated that yourself.
Coppi: That’s not quite what I mean.
Hastings: Then by all means, explain yourself to me.
Coppi: Simply put, Lord Hastings, the last time you were the World Heavyweight Champion was over three years ago. In that time, you’ve seen yourself be beaten with that title on the line by the likes of Tyvola, Phrixus Deimos, Moss Edwards, and Zane Scott. In fact, by my count you have in that time been a part of seven matches with the championship on the line, and have failed in each of those times to recapture the gold, not to mention defeats in marquee matches against Alex Kiseragi and Zane Scott, amongst others. A lot of people say you simply haven’t been the same since Jet Somers beat you at Horizons IV. So I’ll ask again, in the wake of all these, let’s call them disappointments, is it YOU that needs Donovan Hastings to be the World Heavyweight Champion again.
For a moment Donovan simply stares at Grey, and then he pushes the button on his armrest and raises the throne another two inches.
Hastings: You’re right, Grey. I do need to be the champion again. I need that more than anything in this world. I need it, my family needs it, and you need it, whether you realize it or not. I will do anything that I have to do to hold that title again, and that makes me a very dangerous person. That means bad news for Cypress Morgan, who you will remember I have already beaten. That means bad news for Zane Scott, if he shows up at Infinity. Finally, it means the last person you want to be, is the person left standing in my way.
Coppi: This week, that person in your way is ‘The Drunken Buzzsaw’ Chaos, longtime cooperative partner of Cypress Morgan.
Hastings: Ah, yes. Always impressive when your stage name needs its own nickname. That sort of identity crisis worked so well for Enigma, didn’t it? You know, hearing you say it, that name really is all wrong, isn’t it? No real rhythm to it. “The Drun-Kin Buzz-Saw, Chaos.” That’s way too many syllables to throw in front of a one word name. Perhaps he has a problem of making things too complicated for himself.
Coppi: You don’t think you might be taking him too lightly?
Hastings: I’m not giving enough credit to a person whose only victories of note come with the aid of a partner? What big victories does Chaos have to his name here in UGWC? That he beat Gian Jones in that abortion of a Carnage Match? A Horizons match whose outcome was part of a pre-determined manufactured plan to bring a homicidal psychopath out of hiding? That about sums up what he’s done, doesn’t it? No, Grey, I am not worried about “The Drunken Buzzsaw.” More importantly, as a reporter, you need to stop burying the lead. Donovan Hastings is going to Infinity in ten days time to once again become the World Heavyweight Champion, and it is simply…inevitable.
Coppi: Lord Hastings, thank you for your time. This has been Grey Coppi, we’ll see you next time, here on Makin’ Coppis on UGWC.com!
The image fades out, and as it does Donovan can be seen motioning for Grey to get off his stool before Donovan lowers his throne.
Coppi: Hello, and welcome to Making Coppis. I’m here today with the co-number one contender to the World Heavyweight Championship, Donovan Hastings.
The camera pulls back to show Donovan standing with his back to Grey, gesturing to someone who is off the camera.
Coppi: Um…
Hastings: Yes, right here.
Donovan kicks the stool meant to him to the side and it tumbles in front of Grey, whose head turns to follow it as it rolls. Two burly men carry a throne into view.
Hastings: Careful, careful with that. It takes Owen weeks to build these things and bling them out properly.
The throne in place, Donovan takes his seat on it.
Coppi: Why…?
Hastings: I’m going to sit on a frigging stool, yeah, okay.
Donovan glances up and sees that Grey is now higher than him, but he pushes a button on his armrest and the throne rises until Donovan is an inch higher.
Hastings: There. Now, proceed.
Coppi: Um, right. In just two weeks, Donovan, you will be-
Hastings: Lord.
Coppi: Sorry.
Hastings: You mean to ask me about the significance of this match at Infinity, and in doing so you have encapsulated the very answer. For too long have I have watched the sands of time descend into the bottom of the hourglass while I waste away these past few years with the peasantry like Kiseragi and Pax.
Coppi: Two years ago when you were involved with Ezekiel Pax, he was the World Heavyweight-
Hastings: HE IS A PEASANT. They all are. Gone are the days when Horizons was main evented by true legends like the Lord of Pain and the TWiSTeD Icon. Deep into the past are the true wars, the epic clashes of legend such as those between myself and the Momentum Killer. Do you know that last year this company promoted a main event that they expected people to pay for that featured Eden Morgan and Seito Risa?
Coppi: Well, I work here, so…yes, I knew that.
Hastings: And you should be embarrassed about it. I certainly am. Appropriate , isn’t it, that match occurred just an hour after Zane Scott nearly ended my career, like UGWC’s own credibility was crushed with me. It’s time to put this house in order.
Coppi: You talk as though you believe that UGWC needs you as champion.
Hastings: That’s because it does. People talk about how UGWC is thriving in the present, many new fans brought into the fold. Imagine what those new fans will think when they are finally presented with a quality product. Yes, Grey, UGWC needs Donovan Hastings to be its World Heavyweight Champion again.
Coppi: And what about you?
Hastings: What do you mean, what about me? We’re already talking about me.
Coppi: Is it possible that YOU need you to be the World Heavyweight Champion?
Hastings: Well I’m a part of UGWC, so logic would extend that yes, I do. You probably could have extrapolated that yourself.
Coppi: That’s not quite what I mean.
Hastings: Then by all means, explain yourself to me.
Coppi: Simply put, Lord Hastings, the last time you were the World Heavyweight Champion was over three years ago. In that time, you’ve seen yourself be beaten with that title on the line by the likes of Tyvola, Phrixus Deimos, Moss Edwards, and Zane Scott. In fact, by my count you have in that time been a part of seven matches with the championship on the line, and have failed in each of those times to recapture the gold, not to mention defeats in marquee matches against Alex Kiseragi and Zane Scott, amongst others. A lot of people say you simply haven’t been the same since Jet Somers beat you at Horizons IV. So I’ll ask again, in the wake of all these, let’s call them disappointments, is it YOU that needs Donovan Hastings to be the World Heavyweight Champion again.
For a moment Donovan simply stares at Grey, and then he pushes the button on his armrest and raises the throne another two inches.
Hastings: You’re right, Grey. I do need to be the champion again. I need that more than anything in this world. I need it, my family needs it, and you need it, whether you realize it or not. I will do anything that I have to do to hold that title again, and that makes me a very dangerous person. That means bad news for Cypress Morgan, who you will remember I have already beaten. That means bad news for Zane Scott, if he shows up at Infinity. Finally, it means the last person you want to be, is the person left standing in my way.
Coppi: This week, that person in your way is ‘The Drunken Buzzsaw’ Chaos, longtime cooperative partner of Cypress Morgan.
Hastings: Ah, yes. Always impressive when your stage name needs its own nickname. That sort of identity crisis worked so well for Enigma, didn’t it? You know, hearing you say it, that name really is all wrong, isn’t it? No real rhythm to it. “The Drun-Kin Buzz-Saw, Chaos.” That’s way too many syllables to throw in front of a one word name. Perhaps he has a problem of making things too complicated for himself.
Coppi: You don’t think you might be taking him too lightly?
Hastings: I’m not giving enough credit to a person whose only victories of note come with the aid of a partner? What big victories does Chaos have to his name here in UGWC? That he beat Gian Jones in that abortion of a Carnage Match? A Horizons match whose outcome was part of a pre-determined manufactured plan to bring a homicidal psychopath out of hiding? That about sums up what he’s done, doesn’t it? No, Grey, I am not worried about “The Drunken Buzzsaw.” More importantly, as a reporter, you need to stop burying the lead. Donovan Hastings is going to Infinity in ten days time to once again become the World Heavyweight Champion, and it is simply…inevitable.
Coppi: Lord Hastings, thank you for your time. This has been Grey Coppi, we’ll see you next time, here on Makin’ Coppis on UGWC.com!
The image fades out, and as it does Donovan can be seen motioning for Grey to get off his stool before Donovan lowers his throne.
