Greetings and Salutations
Jun 28, 2014 0:16:28 GMT -5
Harley Addams and Larry, The Protege of Pain like this
Post by Mr.Ego on Jun 28, 2014 0:16:28 GMT -5
Dearest Klaus,
Greetings and Salutations, my friend!
It warms my heart to know that, leading up to your most important match to date as the UGWC Cross-Hemisphere Champion, you would take the time to write to ‘The Vain One’. With formidable foes such as Phrixus Deimos, Moss Edwards, ‘The Greater Evil’ Dirge, and even your biker buddy Chaos lining up to take what you hold most dear…the fact that I warranted such a lengthy personal correspondence means a great deal to me, my friend. And I will attempt to respond in kind, though please accept my apologies if things do not make the most sense in spots, though I will make the greatest of attempts to stay focused long enough to get through this. However, Vain is a lightweight when it comes to high-dose painkillers and all. As I am sure you remember when we teamed together…I left that sort of thing to you during our down time.
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We witness better times between Vain and Klaus, back when they were known as the ‘Enemies of Reality’. We see pure destruction in – and out – of the ring. The last clip shows Vain standing outside on the street – the HSW Tag Team Titles draped across his shoulder – shaking his head back and forth sadly, as he looks down at a completely inebriated Klaus vonKnorre…covered in vomit, and rambling incoherently.
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Jezebel Saint is one tough lady; she always has been, Klaus. At no point during my career – whether she and I were on good terms, or bad – have I ever made mention to the contrary. And as for what happened between her and I at ‘Seven Deadly Sins’…well I will be completely honest with you, Klaus. It hurt a great deal. She is one of the toughest individuals that ‘Mr. Ego’ has ever had the pleasure of beating in a match. She dishes out the punishment with the best of them, and you almost have to kill her, in order to stop her. Speaking of…I hear that you finally got a chance to go see her in the hospital. I’m sure she was thrilled that it took so long for her ‘bestie’ to finally sack up enough to go see what his former-bestie did to her. Please, the next time that you see her, please extend my warmest regards to her and her family. In time, her youngin’s will adjust to a Mommy that isn’t quite able to move like she used to. I’m sure of it.
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We see Jezebel Saint lying in a hospital bed, a mere two days after her match with ‘The Vain One’. Coloring books are strewn about, the result of the visit earlier from her children. Cypress had taken them to get something to eat once the most recent dose of medication began to kick in, and Jez had nodded off to sleep. Now, aside from ‘Bitch Fantastic’, the room sits empty. And from her drug-induced sleep state, Jezebel Saint mutters a name: ‘Klaus’. And yet Klaus is nowhere to be found.
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I have no issue with your line of questioning, Klaus. In fact, I quite enjoy it. Not only does it allow you to clear the air, so to speak, with regards to your true feelings on a variety of subjects…but it also allows me to speak freely about those very things that I normally do not get a chance to speak about. And it allows the fans to really get to know their favorite superstar on a more personal level. And you know Vain, Klaus…I’m all about giving the fans what they want.
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A scene showing Vain getting to his feet, and Jezebel falling from hers, just as the referee hits the count of ten during their match at ‘Seven Deadly Sins’ is shown. The obviously piped-in cheers are deafening, as the camera zooms in on the bloody face of the barely-conscious Jezebel Saint.
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I do lead a somewhat lonely life, Klaus. This, I will not deny. And sadly, most of it is due to my own doing. However, it isn’t because I have a preconceived notion to want to defecate on those that are close to me. Quite simply, it’s due mainly to the fact that eventually I come to the realization that none of them have been worthy enough to be closely affiliated with ‘Vain’ Alan Wallace. Short-term, sure, each and every one of them over the years has held a special place in my heart. In Candi’s case, it was due to the pity that I felt for her. In yours, it was the comedic relief that you provided. In both of your cases, however, a point in time came where I had to make a decision. Do I continue allowing people like yourselves to bask in the greatness that is ‘Vain’, riding my coattails to heights of glory that you never remotely envisioned for yourselves? Or do I cut the proverbial cord, so to speak, and allow you to fend for yourselves in this cruel, heartless world?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
A plethora of photos of Vain are shown, each of them showcasing him standing tall in the center of the ring, raising high over his head the litany of championships that he has won during his career. These photos are then replace by two very different photos. The first: HSW’s Klaus vonKnorre walking out on his friend…his tag team…and his contract. The second: Celeste ‘Candi’ Worth, on her knees in the center of the ring, her tears causing her makeup to run as she can do nothing but scream ‘Why?’.
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The closer that you soar towards the sun, the greater the chance that you go down in flames, Klaus.
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A still shot of Vain clutching onto the UGWC Cross-Hemisphere Title is shown, after he won the belt in a match of Klaus’ own creation.
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I apologize for that being the case with you and Celeste, Klaus. I truly do. Because no matter what either of you say, the moment that Vain cast the two of you aside…that was the moment that both of you made a decision that forever will tarnish whatever legacies and reputations you had amassed in this industry. And you know exactly what I am talking about, Klaus.
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The ‘Devil’s Most Wanted’ emblem appears on the screen.
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As long as you have your strip clubs and your alcohol, though…that’s all that matters, isn’t it, Klaus?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
A muted video clip of Klaus in Chaos’ latest promo plays, showcasing the acts that he participates in, in his spare time. Great role model for the children.
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Your very nature, and your gluttonous need for women and alcohol, those are what cost you what should have meant the most to you in life, Klaus. Your wife, Nicole.
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A photograph of Klaus and Nicole on their wedding day is shown.
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You talk about how I treated Candi…about how I discarded her like common trash…but I never once conceded who I was as an individual. I never once pretended to be something that I’m not, Klaus. I am who I am, and I am what I am. Candi knew that…so my actions should have been seen coming a mile away. Is it my fault that she was blinded by my truth? Hardly.
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A still photo of Vain is shown, as he is smiling from ear to ear.
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What about you, Klaus? You married the person that supposedly was the love of your life, and you took vows to honor and cherish her, in sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live. Obviously those words – those vows – were meaningless to you, Klaus. How long after reciting them did you head to the bar with your boys, starting fights, and getting arrested? How long after reciting them did you head to the strip club, taking your mortgage payment money and making it rain on disease-riddled whores? How long after reciting them did you begin cheating on the person that you promised to honor and respect?
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A video clip is shown of Klaus’ wife Nicole, sobbing uncontrollably at their kitchen table, as Vain attempts to console her after she had caught Klaus cheating for the umpteenth – and final – time.
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And yet, of the two of us, I am the despicable one? Laughable.
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A still photo of Klaus vonKnorre is shown.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
As for the state of ‘The Puppet Masters’, that should be of no concern to you, my friend. The actions that have been taken regarding Travis Roberts were regrettable, but they had to be done. It was nothing personal…we just take pride in being the type of group that we know we are capable of being. To be who we set out to be when we originally decided to join forces means that, first and foremost, there must be an unbroken trust between each member. Unfortunately, Mr. Roberts was slowly beginning to come unhinged…and his blinding jealousy of Donovan Hastings could have eventually led to our downfall. And no one individuals desires are more important than the collective goals of the group, Klaus. Maybe if your little bicycle club had a deserving leader, you’d understand that logic. Unfortunately, you’re stuck with Cypress Morgan. And I feel sorry for you because of it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
A video clip of Cypress Morgan – sans the rest of the DMW – begins to play…showcasing him walking through the halls of PMN Headquarters, a mere few days ago.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
As for your invitation, I regret to inform you that I must decline. While I will obviously be there on Day Two in case my number is called to help our group win the Cooperative Championships…the rest of my days of the festival are booked solid. You see, Jason Ingalls has seen to it that I receive the best care that money can buy, to ensure that I am ready for WrestleStock…and one of the professions that he saw fit to include during Vain’s physical therapy is massage therapy. And he has employed the best one that I know. A person that is a triple threat, if you will. She is intelligent, great with her hands, and has spectacular writing skills. And those things are far surpassed by her oral expertise.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
A video showing Vain in his home appears. Vain is lying face-down on a massage table, a small towel barely covering his rear. A set of delicate hands appear on the screen, massaging Vain’s neck, to loosen the muscle knots.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
So while you are getting your behind kicked, and most likely losing that precious strap of yours…I will be celebrating the fact that I hold one-half of the UGWC Cooperative Championships, while being rubbed down in all the right ways.
Warmest Regards,
‘Vain’ Alan Wallace
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A video clip begins, showing Vain seated behind his laptop, as he writes this very letter. Into the video shot walks Nicole, and she takes a seat on Vain’s lap, and lightly nibbles at his ear. He begins typing once more.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
P.S. Nicole says hello, and she feels that I should thank you for being the imbecilic buffoon that you are. For were it not for that, she never would have had the pleasure to engage with a true man of class such as Vain.
P.P.S. She’s almost finished with her second book, and I find it extremely enlightening. Especially Chapters 3-12.
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Vain and Nicole are shown walking out of the study in Vain’s home…and ascending the stairs that lead to the master bedroom.
END
Greetings and Salutations, my friend!
It warms my heart to know that, leading up to your most important match to date as the UGWC Cross-Hemisphere Champion, you would take the time to write to ‘The Vain One’. With formidable foes such as Phrixus Deimos, Moss Edwards, ‘The Greater Evil’ Dirge, and even your biker buddy Chaos lining up to take what you hold most dear…the fact that I warranted such a lengthy personal correspondence means a great deal to me, my friend. And I will attempt to respond in kind, though please accept my apologies if things do not make the most sense in spots, though I will make the greatest of attempts to stay focused long enough to get through this. However, Vain is a lightweight when it comes to high-dose painkillers and all. As I am sure you remember when we teamed together…I left that sort of thing to you during our down time.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
We witness better times between Vain and Klaus, back when they were known as the ‘Enemies of Reality’. We see pure destruction in – and out – of the ring. The last clip shows Vain standing outside on the street – the HSW Tag Team Titles draped across his shoulder – shaking his head back and forth sadly, as he looks down at a completely inebriated Klaus vonKnorre…covered in vomit, and rambling incoherently.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jezebel Saint is one tough lady; she always has been, Klaus. At no point during my career – whether she and I were on good terms, or bad – have I ever made mention to the contrary. And as for what happened between her and I at ‘Seven Deadly Sins’…well I will be completely honest with you, Klaus. It hurt a great deal. She is one of the toughest individuals that ‘Mr. Ego’ has ever had the pleasure of beating in a match. She dishes out the punishment with the best of them, and you almost have to kill her, in order to stop her. Speaking of…I hear that you finally got a chance to go see her in the hospital. I’m sure she was thrilled that it took so long for her ‘bestie’ to finally sack up enough to go see what his former-bestie did to her. Please, the next time that you see her, please extend my warmest regards to her and her family. In time, her youngin’s will adjust to a Mommy that isn’t quite able to move like she used to. I’m sure of it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
We see Jezebel Saint lying in a hospital bed, a mere two days after her match with ‘The Vain One’. Coloring books are strewn about, the result of the visit earlier from her children. Cypress had taken them to get something to eat once the most recent dose of medication began to kick in, and Jez had nodded off to sleep. Now, aside from ‘Bitch Fantastic’, the room sits empty. And from her drug-induced sleep state, Jezebel Saint mutters a name: ‘Klaus’. And yet Klaus is nowhere to be found.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
I have no issue with your line of questioning, Klaus. In fact, I quite enjoy it. Not only does it allow you to clear the air, so to speak, with regards to your true feelings on a variety of subjects…but it also allows me to speak freely about those very things that I normally do not get a chance to speak about. And it allows the fans to really get to know their favorite superstar on a more personal level. And you know Vain, Klaus…I’m all about giving the fans what they want.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
A scene showing Vain getting to his feet, and Jezebel falling from hers, just as the referee hits the count of ten during their match at ‘Seven Deadly Sins’ is shown. The obviously piped-in cheers are deafening, as the camera zooms in on the bloody face of the barely-conscious Jezebel Saint.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
I do lead a somewhat lonely life, Klaus. This, I will not deny. And sadly, most of it is due to my own doing. However, it isn’t because I have a preconceived notion to want to defecate on those that are close to me. Quite simply, it’s due mainly to the fact that eventually I come to the realization that none of them have been worthy enough to be closely affiliated with ‘Vain’ Alan Wallace. Short-term, sure, each and every one of them over the years has held a special place in my heart. In Candi’s case, it was due to the pity that I felt for her. In yours, it was the comedic relief that you provided. In both of your cases, however, a point in time came where I had to make a decision. Do I continue allowing people like yourselves to bask in the greatness that is ‘Vain’, riding my coattails to heights of glory that you never remotely envisioned for yourselves? Or do I cut the proverbial cord, so to speak, and allow you to fend for yourselves in this cruel, heartless world?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
A plethora of photos of Vain are shown, each of them showcasing him standing tall in the center of the ring, raising high over his head the litany of championships that he has won during his career. These photos are then replace by two very different photos. The first: HSW’s Klaus vonKnorre walking out on his friend…his tag team…and his contract. The second: Celeste ‘Candi’ Worth, on her knees in the center of the ring, her tears causing her makeup to run as she can do nothing but scream ‘Why?’.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
The closer that you soar towards the sun, the greater the chance that you go down in flames, Klaus.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
A still shot of Vain clutching onto the UGWC Cross-Hemisphere Title is shown, after he won the belt in a match of Klaus’ own creation.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
I apologize for that being the case with you and Celeste, Klaus. I truly do. Because no matter what either of you say, the moment that Vain cast the two of you aside…that was the moment that both of you made a decision that forever will tarnish whatever legacies and reputations you had amassed in this industry. And you know exactly what I am talking about, Klaus.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
The ‘Devil’s Most Wanted’ emblem appears on the screen.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
As long as you have your strip clubs and your alcohol, though…that’s all that matters, isn’t it, Klaus?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
A muted video clip of Klaus in Chaos’ latest promo plays, showcasing the acts that he participates in, in his spare time. Great role model for the children.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Your very nature, and your gluttonous need for women and alcohol, those are what cost you what should have meant the most to you in life, Klaus. Your wife, Nicole.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
A photograph of Klaus and Nicole on their wedding day is shown.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
You talk about how I treated Candi…about how I discarded her like common trash…but I never once conceded who I was as an individual. I never once pretended to be something that I’m not, Klaus. I am who I am, and I am what I am. Candi knew that…so my actions should have been seen coming a mile away. Is it my fault that she was blinded by my truth? Hardly.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
A still photo of Vain is shown, as he is smiling from ear to ear.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
What about you, Klaus? You married the person that supposedly was the love of your life, and you took vows to honor and cherish her, in sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live. Obviously those words – those vows – were meaningless to you, Klaus. How long after reciting them did you head to the bar with your boys, starting fights, and getting arrested? How long after reciting them did you head to the strip club, taking your mortgage payment money and making it rain on disease-riddled whores? How long after reciting them did you begin cheating on the person that you promised to honor and respect?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
A video clip is shown of Klaus’ wife Nicole, sobbing uncontrollably at their kitchen table, as Vain attempts to console her after she had caught Klaus cheating for the umpteenth – and final – time.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
And yet, of the two of us, I am the despicable one? Laughable.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
A still photo of Klaus vonKnorre is shown.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
As for the state of ‘The Puppet Masters’, that should be of no concern to you, my friend. The actions that have been taken regarding Travis Roberts were regrettable, but they had to be done. It was nothing personal…we just take pride in being the type of group that we know we are capable of being. To be who we set out to be when we originally decided to join forces means that, first and foremost, there must be an unbroken trust between each member. Unfortunately, Mr. Roberts was slowly beginning to come unhinged…and his blinding jealousy of Donovan Hastings could have eventually led to our downfall. And no one individuals desires are more important than the collective goals of the group, Klaus. Maybe if your little bicycle club had a deserving leader, you’d understand that logic. Unfortunately, you’re stuck with Cypress Morgan. And I feel sorry for you because of it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
A video clip of Cypress Morgan – sans the rest of the DMW – begins to play…showcasing him walking through the halls of PMN Headquarters, a mere few days ago.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
As for your invitation, I regret to inform you that I must decline. While I will obviously be there on Day Two in case my number is called to help our group win the Cooperative Championships…the rest of my days of the festival are booked solid. You see, Jason Ingalls has seen to it that I receive the best care that money can buy, to ensure that I am ready for WrestleStock…and one of the professions that he saw fit to include during Vain’s physical therapy is massage therapy. And he has employed the best one that I know. A person that is a triple threat, if you will. She is intelligent, great with her hands, and has spectacular writing skills. And those things are far surpassed by her oral expertise.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
A video showing Vain in his home appears. Vain is lying face-down on a massage table, a small towel barely covering his rear. A set of delicate hands appear on the screen, massaging Vain’s neck, to loosen the muscle knots.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
So while you are getting your behind kicked, and most likely losing that precious strap of yours…I will be celebrating the fact that I hold one-half of the UGWC Cooperative Championships, while being rubbed down in all the right ways.
Warmest Regards,
‘Vain’ Alan Wallace
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
A video clip begins, showing Vain seated behind his laptop, as he writes this very letter. Into the video shot walks Nicole, and she takes a seat on Vain’s lap, and lightly nibbles at his ear. He begins typing once more.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
P.S. Nicole says hello, and she feels that I should thank you for being the imbecilic buffoon that you are. For were it not for that, she never would have had the pleasure to engage with a true man of class such as Vain.
P.P.S. She’s almost finished with her second book, and I find it extremely enlightening. Especially Chapters 3-12.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Vain and Nicole are shown walking out of the study in Vain’s home…and ascending the stairs that lead to the master bedroom.
END