The Vain Vault: Back to the Future
Nov 22, 2014 21:26:01 GMT -5
Harley Addams, Dave Rydell, and 1 more like this
Post by Mr.Ego on Nov 22, 2014 21:26:01 GMT -5
The screen flickers to life, a vast array of colors, and smooth, elegant music playing in the background. The number ‘5’ then appears on the screen, and the countdown begins…punctuated by a beep with each number that appears…
‘4’
‘3’
‘2’
‘1’
A spliced recording of events that transpired a mere nine days ago…events that took place during a supposed ‘celebration’ of an icon. Events that were perpetrated by a man that has fumed in silence, for eight long years…consumed in his hatred of a man that is, was, and forever will be…better.
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The screen goes black as the recording ends, and after a few seconds, the face of Jason Ingalls is shown. Quite subdued, Ingalls looks directly into the camera and speaks.
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to a very special edition of ‘The Vain Vault’. Not only is this edition of Vain’s flagship show long overdue, but as this is Vain’s first broadcast since officially becoming a member of the new and vastly improved ‘Piercing Media Network’…and seeing as how he has quite a bit to say due to recent events…Alan has decided to conduct this broadcast just as he conducts his business in the ring…”
“He went all out.”
The camera begins to pan away, and we see that Ingalls is standing in the center of a wrestling ring. Behind him is the extremely lavish new set procured solely for episodes of ‘The Vain Vault’. As cameras flash around him, Jason Ingalls speaks once more.
“Most everyone knows that Alan resides in Miami, Florida…but since becoming a core member of ‘The Piercing Media Network’, he has spent a lot of time out here on the West Coast. And the good people of California have made him feel right at home. As such, he has decided to show his appreciation in the only way that he knows how. So, residents of Los Angeles, California…and most importantly, wrestling fans right here in ‘The Staples Center’…welcome to ‘THE VAIN VAULT’!!!”
No seat is empty here in the ‘House That Kobe Built’, as everyone in attendance roars their approval. Whether it’s for Vain’s show…or the cheap pop…I guess we’ll find out soon enough.
“Without further adieu, I give to you the host of ‘The Vain Vault’…he knows the guys aren’t real happy that their ladies are all giddy, but it’s a curse that he lives with because he can’t help that he’s pretty…he is ‘The Money Maker’ himself, ‘VAIN’ ALAN WALLACE!!!!!”
Vain steps out from behind the curtains, and the entire arena erupts in cheers. As he reaches the top of the stage, fireworks proceed to go off on both sides of him, and then confetti begins falling from the rafters. He smiles a broad smile, before continuing down the ramp…climbing up the stairs, and then stepping through the ropes. He and Ingalls shake hands, and then Jase hands him the microphone.
“Thank you, thank you…you are too kind. Vain truly appreciates the warm reception. If I may be so inclined…I believe that the greatest wrestling fans on Earth, reside right here, in Los Angeles, California!”
Once again, an eruption of cheers, only this time they are joined by a chant: ‘Vain! Vain! Vain!’. Ingalls claps along with the crowd, as Vain continues beaming.
“Yes…’The Money Maker’ loves each and every one of you, as well. Were it not for all of you, I would not be the man that I am today. For that, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.”
Vain and Jase converse back and forth for a few moments, speaking too softly for the microphone to pick up their words. Finishing the conversation, Vain turns back towards the camera, and his demeanor changes. His smile…fades.
“And now, Vain will get down to business. All of you saw the video playback that aired just before I came out here…so all of you know what happened during the ‘tribute’ show, that was held in Vain’s honor.”
The crowd boos, hisses, and cat-calls the artist formerly known as Holden Orson.. Vain holds up his hand, motioning for the masses to calm down.
“He went to awful great lengths, just to prove a point, didn’t he? And the saddest part of all…all of the effort that went into the last six months, it really was all for nothing. Because it’s not like anyone knows who ‘The Mainstreamer’ is anymore anyway. The three or four fans he did have a decade ago…arrested for public indecency. Each and every one of them.”
Jase can be seen mouthing the question ‘really’, to which Vain nods his head.
“Indeed, Jase. Apparently the handful of peons that actually rooted for ‘The Mainstreamer’ all enjoyed urinating in public; usually on unsuspecting females. True fans of the man, no doubt.”
It seems as if the entire arena says the word ‘ewww’ at the same time, before breaking out into a chorus of boos. Vain makes a face as Jase says something to him.
“Indeed it does sound like one big circle-jerk, Jase. Vain can only assume that they crossed swords while crossing streams…no wonder he masqueraded as a hipster. I’d hide my face too, if I participated in such disgusting acts. Degenerate...”
Jase chuckles, as Vain smiles.
“However, Vain is aware that the entirety of the UGWC Universe still has no idea who this man is. As such, I will give a brief synopsis of the history that is ‘Vain and The Mainstreamer’.”
“Years ago, in a land far away, there was a company that was known as ‘Headstrong Wrestling’. Vain wrestled there, as did numerous other men and women that are not important enough for Vain to remember. One of those bottom-feeders was the man that you all now know as ‘The Mainstreamer’.”
Boos. And more boos. The fans here in Los Angeles really do not like anyone messing with their adopted son. Good people.
“Back then ‘The Mainstreamer’ was nothing more than a thugged-out yo-boy. At least that’s how Vain remembers it. He hung out with rappers, or something. He was a whiter ‘Grandmaster Sexy’. Yeah, we’ll go with that.”
Jase makes a comment, which causes Vain to chuckle.
“No Jase, he definitely wasn’t too cool for anything. Unless urinating is cool. If so, then yes? Maybe? Vain isn’t sure.”
“Anyhow, with ‘The Mainstreamer’ firmly implanted as the token white boy within HSW’s version of ‘The N.W.A’, they collectively set their sights on ‘The Covenant’. That incarnation of ‘The Covenant’ consisted of Vain, Deszarus, the man that claims to be ‘your Mom’s favorite wrestler’, Klaus vonKnorre.”
The crowd lets out a thunderous boo, to which Vain begins to wave his finger back and forth.
“Oh, do not worry…Vain will get to him in a few minutes…”
“As ‘Your Mom’s Favorite Wrestler’s Mom’s Favorite Wrestler’ was saying, ‘Team Kriss Kross’ set their sights on us, and ‘The Mainstreamer’ and I had a few good matches. Each one of us stood tall during our little deal, and when all of the others disappeared from the company, it left just him and me.”
“We met one final time, a match of mutual respect, and it was for the biggest title that we could hope to attain. And in the end, ‘Mr. Ego’ reigned supreme as the HSW World Heavyweight Champion.”
Fireworks go off once more, and another round of confetti begins to fall, as Vain unbuttons his suit jacket, to showcase two belts wrapped around his waist. The one on top is his half of the UGWC Cooperative Championship; the one on the bottom reads ‘HSW World Heavyweight Champion’. It’s deafening in the arena.
“Let Vain state, this belt is in no way, shape, or form the title belt that was owned by Joey Mathew. He has his rightful property, as far as ‘The Vain One’ is aware. That was the one that the uncouth Deszarus defacated on, anyhow, which is why Vain had this one made. The title only held meaning when I held it anyway, so if by some stroke of luck Mr. Mathew views this, he can send me his personal thanks for making his company relevant again. You’re welcome.”
I digress…a funny thing happened during my final match with ‘The Mainstreamer’. About halfway through, I realized that I could not respect a man that had acted in such a reprehensible manner. Thus, once I beat him for the championship…I beat him for being an asshole.”
“Apparently he took offense to that.”
Vain and Jase look at each other, and both men shrug.
“Mainy has gone on record and spoken about how he waited for ‘Your Vainness’ to re-emerge in HSW once it opened back up; but Vain had proven all that he had to prove in that company. There was nothing left for me to accomplish. So, I enjoyed my retirement, while he festered…for eight years.”
“And now, he finally unveils himself here in UGWC. Well congratulations, Mainy…you and your imbecilic co-conspirators pulled the wool over Vain’s eyes. Enjoy it, because it won’t happen again. Vain just has one question for you, Mainy…what took so long? It isn’t as if Vain fell from the face of the Earth; I’ve been living a life of luxury down in Miami, just as I did when you and I worked for the same employer.”
“I’ve been in this company for a year-and-a-half, out in the public eye, for that entire time. And not once did you attempt to ‘right the wrong that you feel I did to you’. Not. Once. That is, not until now…but you had to do so while under a mask. Why is that, Mainy? Were you afraid that if you confronted me face to face – man to man – that the beating I handed out eight years ago would be repeated?”
The crowd erupts, as a sly smile creeps across ‘The Vain One’s’ face.
“Have no fear, Mainy…that beating will be doled out once more. And this time…it’ll be in the match that you challenged me to. And how will it feel, Mainy…when after eight long years of being known as the man that Vain made famous, you come back for your redemption song, and get put down – yet again – in the match that you’ve been waiting to have with Vain ever since we were nothing more than two ‘headstrong’ guys, making our names in this business?”
“I hope you kept your little masks, Mainy…because after ‘Horizons’, you’ll be wanting to hide your face for another eight years.”
Jason Ingalls begins clapping, as the crowd goes into a frenzy. A chant of ‘Fuck You, Mainy’ begins, and it brings a smile to the beautiful face of ‘The Vain Lord’.
“However, before we get to the point where ‘The Mainstreamer’ meets his reckoning, Killian King and I have been assigned the task of defending our Cooperative Titles. And it just so happens to be against a team that consists of a man that I know all too well…and his new flavor of the month.”
“Klaus vonKnorre and Harley Addams.”
The crowd boos…they really do hate this man that chose Louisiana Trash over Vain’s friendship. And rightfully so.
“Now it’s no secret that Klaus and I have no love for each other. Over the last year we have beaten the holy hell out of one another, any chance that we have been given. And I will be the first person to admit it when I say…he’s one of the toughest bastards that I’ve ever stepped into the ring with. And even though Vain knows that Klaus is too egotistical to admit that it’s even remotely possible…he knows that stepping into the ring with ‘The Money Maker’ is no walk in the park either.”
“Speaking of walks in the park, Klaus…is Jezebel able to do that with her kids yet? Or is she still in need of physical therapy three days a week? Bah, you know, it doesn’t really matter. Just give her my best the next time you speak to her. Kaythanks...”
Vain moves into a golf stance, and then using the microphone, goes through the motion as if he is swinging a club. Upon completing the movement, Jase walks up beside him and raises his hand…placing it over his eyebrows as he views what amounted to a perfect shot. He pats Vain on the shoulder, and then the two men turn and face the camera again.
“Klaus vonKnorre…a man that considered himself to be the greatest UGWC Cross-Hemisphere Champion of all time. A man who, upon realizing that there are men in this industry that will do everything in their power to attain a goal, decided that he didn’t want to be the UGWC Cross-Hemisphere Champion anymore. A man that stated he gave the UGWC Cross-Hemisphere Championship away.”
“On to bigger and better things, eh Klaus? Having held the title that is arguably the second-most important championship here in UGWC, that only can mean one thing: That you, Klaus vonKnorre, are destined to become a mainstay main-eventer, and a perennial challenger in the UGWC World Title scene.”
“Yet here you are, challenging for the Cooperative Championship.”
“Have you been drinking again, Klaus? Because I do believe that you have forgotten which way is up.”
The fans laugh, as does Jase.
“And teaming with you is the dirty little biker’s club’s adopted mascot, Harley Addams. A woman that does indeed have talent, yet seems to lack the attention to detail that is required to better herself in the ring. When she first came into this company, Vain actually felt as if she would make quite a name for herself in this industry. She had all the tools. Sadly, she became saddled with one tool too many.”
“His name is Klaus vonKnorre.”
“You’re languishing in the mediocrity that is ‘The Devil’s Most Wanted’, Ms. Addams. You’re mired in the cesspool that is the lifestyle of Klaus and his cronies. You’re unable to get out of your own way, simply because of the choices that you’ve made.”
“That saddens ‘Mr. Ego’, Ms. Addams. Because that will be the second female that had the world by the horns, and then delved into nothingness thanks to Klaus vonKnorre.”
Vain sadly shakes his head from side to side, as a few “aww’s” can be heard from the crowd in attendance. Jase is shown mouthing something to Vain, who nods in return.
“As do I, Jase…but as my grandmother used to say, ‘you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them drink’. I know that everything that I’m saying, it’s gone through Harley’s own head a time or two. Eventually she will have to come to terms with things. Until then, I will continue her downward spiral here in UGWC.”
“As for Klaus, I see the puppy dog eyes that he has, every time he looks at Ms. Addams. It’s sweet, especially considering it will ultimately lead to his complete downfall.”
“Because as Klaus vonKnorre falls in love…Harley Addams will fall asleep…and Killian and I will continue dominating as the UGWC Cooperative Champions.”
“It’ll be just like old times, Klaus, as you watch Vain completely dominate his opponents in cooperative action. Only this time, you get to feel what it’s like to watch the celebration…instead of being involved in it.”
“See you on Monday, buddy.”
Vain drops the microphone, and then holds out his arms to…
Silence.
Killian King then steps through the curtain, with his own microphone in hand.
“Hey Alan, there’s been a malfunction with the bloody equipment, but it’s about time to wrap this up anyway.”
“What type of malfunction, Killian? Vain paid good money for this.”
Sheepishly, Killian speaks.
“I spilled scotch on the sound board. Your pre-recorded cheers indubitably went up in smoke.”
Vain hangs his head, as he and Jase exit the ring. The lights in the arena slowly begin to brighten, and we see full-length mirrors in front of each seat.
FIN
‘4’
‘3’
‘2’
‘1’
A spliced recording of events that transpired a mere nine days ago…events that took place during a supposed ‘celebration’ of an icon. Events that were perpetrated by a man that has fumed in silence, for eight long years…consumed in his hatred of a man that is, was, and forever will be…better.
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Vinegar -- Vain quickly slides out and scoops up the MoC, and locks his arms behind him as Eden slaps the mask right off his face!
Lieberjosch – I knew it! It's Ichabod!
Ichabod's smiling face shoots back at Eden Morgan. The crowd cheers as another anonymous mask appears on the GlobalTron.
Lieberjosch – The Money Maker! Not anymore Jay!
Vain has picked his spot. The second Master of Ceremonies is down. Vain walks over and lifts the mask up, smirking after confirming the identity. A camera man runs in to show the dazed, but smiling face of Jet Somers.
The anonymous mask pops up on the screen again.
Vain has picked his spot. The second Master of Ceremonies is down. Vain walks over and lifts the mask up, smirking after confirming the identity. A camera man runs in to show the dazed, but smiling face of Jet Somers.
The anonymous mask pops up on the screen again.
Master of Ceremonies – But Alan.... Jet Somers isn't the Master of Ceremonies either. I really can't believe you two fell for that dupe... twice.
The arena goes pitch black. This seems important now.
Vain finally drapes his arm over The Mainstreamer. Jack Lawrence drops to the mat.
One
Two
Three!!
Tony D.: Oh my god! Oh my god! Mr. Ego has done it!
The screen gains a red tint as Vain then refuses to let go of The Mainstreamer's hand. He drives a knee into his gut. One of The Mainstreamer's allies runs out and joins the assault.
Vain: “I hope you enjoyed your reign while it lasted, bitch…because you aren’t gonna even come close to sniffing another one anytime soon!”
The Mainstreamer points at the screen as if pointing directly into the ring. Another spotlight hits the ring and shows Holden Orson smiling wildly and holding a dented up baseball bat. Holden Orson quickly drives the bat into Vain's stomach. Vain stumbles and Holden Orson follows it up with the Streamliner, the same move Vain was able to counter 8 years ago. He's not able to counter it this time. The lights come back on. Jet and Ichabod have Eden held down outside the ring, she's unconscious as each of them has a boot on her somewhere. Holden Orson stands over Vain.
Holden Orson reaches up, ever so slowly, and takes off his masquerade mask.
Covert Jay -- It's him! It's The Mainstreamer!!! That was a pre-recording!
The Mainstreamer – Hello, Alan. You owe me a rematch I do believe. I've been waiting for it for 8 years.
The Mainstreamer drops the bat and drives a kick into Vain's ribs. Vain rolls over coughing from the surprise assault.
The Mainstreamer – But I've gotten some clearance for Horizons, thanks to my old friend Ichabod and his associates here in UGWC. He's arranged for us to have a good ol' rematch at Horizons.
he Mainstreamer – Actually Alan, yes I do. That's exactly what I want. Run of the Mill. I'd like you to join me in the Run of the Mill.
The Mainstreamer kicks the seated Alan Wallace in the face, dropping him back to the mat.
Covert Jay -- It's him! It's The Mainstreamer!!! That was a pre-recording!
The Mainstreamer – Hello, Alan. You owe me a rematch I do believe. I've been waiting for it for 8 years.
The Mainstreamer drops the bat and drives a kick into Vain's ribs. Vain rolls over coughing from the surprise assault.
The Mainstreamer – But I've gotten some clearance for Horizons, thanks to my old friend Ichabod and his associates here in UGWC. He's arranged for us to have a good ol' rematch at Horizons.
he Mainstreamer – Actually Alan, yes I do. That's exactly what I want. Run of the Mill. I'd like you to join me in the Run of the Mill.
The Mainstreamer kicks the seated Alan Wallace in the face, dropping him back to the mat.
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The screen goes black as the recording ends, and after a few seconds, the face of Jason Ingalls is shown. Quite subdued, Ingalls looks directly into the camera and speaks.
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to a very special edition of ‘The Vain Vault’. Not only is this edition of Vain’s flagship show long overdue, but as this is Vain’s first broadcast since officially becoming a member of the new and vastly improved ‘Piercing Media Network’…and seeing as how he has quite a bit to say due to recent events…Alan has decided to conduct this broadcast just as he conducts his business in the ring…”
“He went all out.”
The camera begins to pan away, and we see that Ingalls is standing in the center of a wrestling ring. Behind him is the extremely lavish new set procured solely for episodes of ‘The Vain Vault’. As cameras flash around him, Jason Ingalls speaks once more.
“Most everyone knows that Alan resides in Miami, Florida…but since becoming a core member of ‘The Piercing Media Network’, he has spent a lot of time out here on the West Coast. And the good people of California have made him feel right at home. As such, he has decided to show his appreciation in the only way that he knows how. So, residents of Los Angeles, California…and most importantly, wrestling fans right here in ‘The Staples Center’…welcome to ‘THE VAIN VAULT’!!!”
No seat is empty here in the ‘House That Kobe Built’, as everyone in attendance roars their approval. Whether it’s for Vain’s show…or the cheap pop…I guess we’ll find out soon enough.
“Without further adieu, I give to you the host of ‘The Vain Vault’…he knows the guys aren’t real happy that their ladies are all giddy, but it’s a curse that he lives with because he can’t help that he’s pretty…he is ‘The Money Maker’ himself, ‘VAIN’ ALAN WALLACE!!!!!”
Vain steps out from behind the curtains, and the entire arena erupts in cheers. As he reaches the top of the stage, fireworks proceed to go off on both sides of him, and then confetti begins falling from the rafters. He smiles a broad smile, before continuing down the ramp…climbing up the stairs, and then stepping through the ropes. He and Ingalls shake hands, and then Jase hands him the microphone.
“Thank you, thank you…you are too kind. Vain truly appreciates the warm reception. If I may be so inclined…I believe that the greatest wrestling fans on Earth, reside right here, in Los Angeles, California!”
Once again, an eruption of cheers, only this time they are joined by a chant: ‘Vain! Vain! Vain!’. Ingalls claps along with the crowd, as Vain continues beaming.
“Yes…’The Money Maker’ loves each and every one of you, as well. Were it not for all of you, I would not be the man that I am today. For that, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.”
Vain and Jase converse back and forth for a few moments, speaking too softly for the microphone to pick up their words. Finishing the conversation, Vain turns back towards the camera, and his demeanor changes. His smile…fades.
“And now, Vain will get down to business. All of you saw the video playback that aired just before I came out here…so all of you know what happened during the ‘tribute’ show, that was held in Vain’s honor.”
The crowd boos, hisses, and cat-calls the artist formerly known as Holden Orson.. Vain holds up his hand, motioning for the masses to calm down.
“He went to awful great lengths, just to prove a point, didn’t he? And the saddest part of all…all of the effort that went into the last six months, it really was all for nothing. Because it’s not like anyone knows who ‘The Mainstreamer’ is anymore anyway. The three or four fans he did have a decade ago…arrested for public indecency. Each and every one of them.”
Jase can be seen mouthing the question ‘really’, to which Vain nods his head.
“Indeed, Jase. Apparently the handful of peons that actually rooted for ‘The Mainstreamer’ all enjoyed urinating in public; usually on unsuspecting females. True fans of the man, no doubt.”
It seems as if the entire arena says the word ‘ewww’ at the same time, before breaking out into a chorus of boos. Vain makes a face as Jase says something to him.
“Indeed it does sound like one big circle-jerk, Jase. Vain can only assume that they crossed swords while crossing streams…no wonder he masqueraded as a hipster. I’d hide my face too, if I participated in such disgusting acts. Degenerate...”
Jase chuckles, as Vain smiles.
“However, Vain is aware that the entirety of the UGWC Universe still has no idea who this man is. As such, I will give a brief synopsis of the history that is ‘Vain and The Mainstreamer’.”
“Years ago, in a land far away, there was a company that was known as ‘Headstrong Wrestling’. Vain wrestled there, as did numerous other men and women that are not important enough for Vain to remember. One of those bottom-feeders was the man that you all now know as ‘The Mainstreamer’.”
Boos. And more boos. The fans here in Los Angeles really do not like anyone messing with their adopted son. Good people.
“Back then ‘The Mainstreamer’ was nothing more than a thugged-out yo-boy. At least that’s how Vain remembers it. He hung out with rappers, or something. He was a whiter ‘Grandmaster Sexy’. Yeah, we’ll go with that.”
Jase makes a comment, which causes Vain to chuckle.
“No Jase, he definitely wasn’t too cool for anything. Unless urinating is cool. If so, then yes? Maybe? Vain isn’t sure.”
“Anyhow, with ‘The Mainstreamer’ firmly implanted as the token white boy within HSW’s version of ‘The N.W.A’, they collectively set their sights on ‘The Covenant’. That incarnation of ‘The Covenant’ consisted of Vain, Deszarus, the man that claims to be ‘your Mom’s favorite wrestler’, Klaus vonKnorre.”
The crowd lets out a thunderous boo, to which Vain begins to wave his finger back and forth.
“Oh, do not worry…Vain will get to him in a few minutes…”
“As ‘Your Mom’s Favorite Wrestler’s Mom’s Favorite Wrestler’ was saying, ‘Team Kriss Kross’ set their sights on us, and ‘The Mainstreamer’ and I had a few good matches. Each one of us stood tall during our little deal, and when all of the others disappeared from the company, it left just him and me.”
“We met one final time, a match of mutual respect, and it was for the biggest title that we could hope to attain. And in the end, ‘Mr. Ego’ reigned supreme as the HSW World Heavyweight Champion.”
Fireworks go off once more, and another round of confetti begins to fall, as Vain unbuttons his suit jacket, to showcase two belts wrapped around his waist. The one on top is his half of the UGWC Cooperative Championship; the one on the bottom reads ‘HSW World Heavyweight Champion’. It’s deafening in the arena.
“Let Vain state, this belt is in no way, shape, or form the title belt that was owned by Joey Mathew. He has his rightful property, as far as ‘The Vain One’ is aware. That was the one that the uncouth Deszarus defacated on, anyhow, which is why Vain had this one made. The title only held meaning when I held it anyway, so if by some stroke of luck Mr. Mathew views this, he can send me his personal thanks for making his company relevant again. You’re welcome.”
I digress…a funny thing happened during my final match with ‘The Mainstreamer’. About halfway through, I realized that I could not respect a man that had acted in such a reprehensible manner. Thus, once I beat him for the championship…I beat him for being an asshole.”
“Apparently he took offense to that.”
Vain and Jase look at each other, and both men shrug.
“Mainy has gone on record and spoken about how he waited for ‘Your Vainness’ to re-emerge in HSW once it opened back up; but Vain had proven all that he had to prove in that company. There was nothing left for me to accomplish. So, I enjoyed my retirement, while he festered…for eight years.”
“And now, he finally unveils himself here in UGWC. Well congratulations, Mainy…you and your imbecilic co-conspirators pulled the wool over Vain’s eyes. Enjoy it, because it won’t happen again. Vain just has one question for you, Mainy…what took so long? It isn’t as if Vain fell from the face of the Earth; I’ve been living a life of luxury down in Miami, just as I did when you and I worked for the same employer.”
“I’ve been in this company for a year-and-a-half, out in the public eye, for that entire time. And not once did you attempt to ‘right the wrong that you feel I did to you’. Not. Once. That is, not until now…but you had to do so while under a mask. Why is that, Mainy? Were you afraid that if you confronted me face to face – man to man – that the beating I handed out eight years ago would be repeated?”
The crowd erupts, as a sly smile creeps across ‘The Vain One’s’ face.
“Have no fear, Mainy…that beating will be doled out once more. And this time…it’ll be in the match that you challenged me to. And how will it feel, Mainy…when after eight long years of being known as the man that Vain made famous, you come back for your redemption song, and get put down – yet again – in the match that you’ve been waiting to have with Vain ever since we were nothing more than two ‘headstrong’ guys, making our names in this business?”
“I hope you kept your little masks, Mainy…because after ‘Horizons’, you’ll be wanting to hide your face for another eight years.”
Jason Ingalls begins clapping, as the crowd goes into a frenzy. A chant of ‘Fuck You, Mainy’ begins, and it brings a smile to the beautiful face of ‘The Vain Lord’.
“However, before we get to the point where ‘The Mainstreamer’ meets his reckoning, Killian King and I have been assigned the task of defending our Cooperative Titles. And it just so happens to be against a team that consists of a man that I know all too well…and his new flavor of the month.”
“Klaus vonKnorre and Harley Addams.”
The crowd boos…they really do hate this man that chose Louisiana Trash over Vain’s friendship. And rightfully so.
“Now it’s no secret that Klaus and I have no love for each other. Over the last year we have beaten the holy hell out of one another, any chance that we have been given. And I will be the first person to admit it when I say…he’s one of the toughest bastards that I’ve ever stepped into the ring with. And even though Vain knows that Klaus is too egotistical to admit that it’s even remotely possible…he knows that stepping into the ring with ‘The Money Maker’ is no walk in the park either.”
“Speaking of walks in the park, Klaus…is Jezebel able to do that with her kids yet? Or is she still in need of physical therapy three days a week? Bah, you know, it doesn’t really matter. Just give her my best the next time you speak to her. Kaythanks...”
Vain moves into a golf stance, and then using the microphone, goes through the motion as if he is swinging a club. Upon completing the movement, Jase walks up beside him and raises his hand…placing it over his eyebrows as he views what amounted to a perfect shot. He pats Vain on the shoulder, and then the two men turn and face the camera again.
“Klaus vonKnorre…a man that considered himself to be the greatest UGWC Cross-Hemisphere Champion of all time. A man who, upon realizing that there are men in this industry that will do everything in their power to attain a goal, decided that he didn’t want to be the UGWC Cross-Hemisphere Champion anymore. A man that stated he gave the UGWC Cross-Hemisphere Championship away.”
“On to bigger and better things, eh Klaus? Having held the title that is arguably the second-most important championship here in UGWC, that only can mean one thing: That you, Klaus vonKnorre, are destined to become a mainstay main-eventer, and a perennial challenger in the UGWC World Title scene.”
“Yet here you are, challenging for the Cooperative Championship.”
“Have you been drinking again, Klaus? Because I do believe that you have forgotten which way is up.”
The fans laugh, as does Jase.
“And teaming with you is the dirty little biker’s club’s adopted mascot, Harley Addams. A woman that does indeed have talent, yet seems to lack the attention to detail that is required to better herself in the ring. When she first came into this company, Vain actually felt as if she would make quite a name for herself in this industry. She had all the tools. Sadly, she became saddled with one tool too many.”
“His name is Klaus vonKnorre.”
“You’re languishing in the mediocrity that is ‘The Devil’s Most Wanted’, Ms. Addams. You’re mired in the cesspool that is the lifestyle of Klaus and his cronies. You’re unable to get out of your own way, simply because of the choices that you’ve made.”
“That saddens ‘Mr. Ego’, Ms. Addams. Because that will be the second female that had the world by the horns, and then delved into nothingness thanks to Klaus vonKnorre.”
Vain sadly shakes his head from side to side, as a few “aww’s” can be heard from the crowd in attendance. Jase is shown mouthing something to Vain, who nods in return.
“As do I, Jase…but as my grandmother used to say, ‘you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them drink’. I know that everything that I’m saying, it’s gone through Harley’s own head a time or two. Eventually she will have to come to terms with things. Until then, I will continue her downward spiral here in UGWC.”
“As for Klaus, I see the puppy dog eyes that he has, every time he looks at Ms. Addams. It’s sweet, especially considering it will ultimately lead to his complete downfall.”
“Because as Klaus vonKnorre falls in love…Harley Addams will fall asleep…and Killian and I will continue dominating as the UGWC Cooperative Champions.”
“It’ll be just like old times, Klaus, as you watch Vain completely dominate his opponents in cooperative action. Only this time, you get to feel what it’s like to watch the celebration…instead of being involved in it.”
“See you on Monday, buddy.”
Vain drops the microphone, and then holds out his arms to…
Silence.
Killian King then steps through the curtain, with his own microphone in hand.
“Hey Alan, there’s been a malfunction with the bloody equipment, but it’s about time to wrap this up anyway.”
“What type of malfunction, Killian? Vain paid good money for this.”
Sheepishly, Killian speaks.
“I spilled scotch on the sound board. Your pre-recorded cheers indubitably went up in smoke.”
Vain hangs his head, as he and Jase exit the ring. The lights in the arena slowly begin to brighten, and we see full-length mirrors in front of each seat.
FIN
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