Post by Jet Somers on Feb 26, 2015 3:51:49 GMT -5
23-Feb-15
Eden's voice on the television: 'You hear that, Consortium? Are you watching, Travis? You know what you need to do. You know the right thing, the fair thing to do. Zane deserves a rematch, and you’re going to give it to him at the Massive Melee. I support him on that. Me? I have something else to do that night. The same thing I’ve done at the Massive Melee each of the last two years. UGWC has held two Massive Melees, and you all know who won them. Eden Morgan. This year is going to be more different. There is no one who can stop me. Not Travis Pierce. Not you, out there! NOBODY CAN STOP ME!'
I can't even watch this anymore without shaking my head sadly everytime Eden is on the screen. As she spirals further and further out of touch, I can't help but wonder where I went wrong. She's told me over and over, but I just can't accept it. Nothing could warrant this madness. She's so much better than this. Is there anything left of her? I'm starting to doubt it.
6-Feb-15
Nate saw right through my proposal to fly out and check in on the Sheffield Charter that started up last year. Although he intended to get around to it, he reminded me that the decision to go nomad with him was mine alone, and he knew just why I wanted to be in the UK that week.
Travis called me a week ago to remind me he had to fill in the last of the Global Challenge spaces, and I was still welcome. I declined. He also reminded me that Cyp was flying out to make a surprise appearance, and it would make a tremendous statement if the two of us ended up in the ring surrounding Zane. He said the organization is slowly devolving into a confederation of bad guys, and it's getting harder and harder to pick out the good anymore.
Nate reminded me that this was part of the reason I wanted to get away from it. As far as either of us can see, there isn't anything worth salvaging there anymore.
I feel bad for Chaos.
25-Jan-15
Travis has really expanded the Network!
Not the PMN... which apparently is Bryson Enterprises now. Whatever.
They didn't just give him Creative Control over the booking, but put him in charge of linking up the UGWC-N with renewed social media vigor, and he's gotten coverage on several new sports entertainment outlets. It's great to see him doing so well.
It's too bad Edie couldn't be right there with him. Her old optimism and self assurance was refreshing, and they'd get a kick out of her personality. It sucks that the shine has gone out of her smile. Everytime I see her on Synergy, it's like a blank page that's been filled with the angry scratches of a child's black crayon.
Where'd you go, Edie? I miss you.
19-Jan-15
Headed for Flagstaff Charter. Got wind that the Treasurer is skimming club money for a stock market scheme. Nineteen year old prospect caught on and disappeared. Nate's quiet--I haven't seen him like this since right after we got Jez back from Dragon.
It's strange how he can flip a switch like that... he's usually kind of soft spoken, a nice guy. Kind of the favorite uncle kind of vibe. Right now he looks like he could shove a knife in your gut, twist it, and walk away without batting an eye.
10-Jan-15
San Diego Charter is going to be the first stop. Nothing big, they just need bodies for a protection run.
This is going to be my first time getting involved in club business. I was a little worried that the SDDMW wouldn't appreciate a non-member riding along, but Nate assures me that his word is all they'll need. Being Cyp's brother in law helps, apparently.
2-Jan-15
It was almost impossible telling Travis no. He's gone along with everything for years now without hesitation. I feel responsible for everything that's happened to him. I talked him into the entire Dragon scheme. His participation was priceless, all the ideas he had... but he'd have never gotten involved if I hadn't brought him in. Everything that followed, the deaths, Eden breaking his heart, PMN falling into the enemies' hands... none of it would have happened if he hadn't followed someone he trusted into the most convoluted and irresponsible plot possible.
He reminded me that this was the endgame, the power and influence in the company we had worked so hard to gain. A spot in the Consortium, equal footing to Dexter Vines and Robert Ooley, a direct line to the Benefactor. Even with my injury, I could still have a role in the company.
It kills me to have to leave him to do it alone, but I know he can handle it.
I can't. Not anymore.
28-Dec-14
Spoke on the phone to Vines and Ooley today. They grudgingly agreed to let me hang on to my Talent Scout position. Riding around the country, I could easily drum up some new talent to send their way. Ooley's been talking about opening a training camp in New England.
Ran across a retired boxer in Chicago, Mark Stone. He's raw from cage fighting, but I think he could cut his wrestling teeth at Infinity. Reminds me a lot of me in the beginning. Also waiting on a call from Ichabod letting me know Larry's ready to join the roster. Two recruits, that should be enough to start.
Enough to keep me at arm's length.
25-Dec-14
Best Christmas in years.
Spending the week with Jez, the kids, Mom and Dad... it's been too long. It's nice to know there's something to come home to, afterall. The world is too big sometimes. Too full of uncontrollable variables. Familiarity is a welcome change from the strangeness of it all.
Cypress gave me his blessing to ride with Nate. Told me he'd stuff my stocking if I got preachy with the other charters. I told him I intended to add Vitamin Water to their taps.
20-Dec-14
'I have tremendous remorse for the acts of violence I've committed, both planned and spontaneous. But I think what brings me the most sorrow is that I've learned to justify this behavior. I always find a reason, a cause, a need that allows me the karmic lubrication to stuff my guilt into a savage compartment. I've become the thing, the one I hated. And with that awareness comes periods of days, sometimes weeks, when I have to avoid looking into a mirror. My self hate is so deep so palpable, I fear I'll lunge at my own image, shatter the glass and cut myself with shards of broken reflection.
Since my best friend betrayed me, I've lost my center. Now my doubt and sense of fraudulence bark so loudly in my head that most of the time I can't hear anything else.
All the things I want from this life are lost in the din'
-JNT
Eden's voice on the television: 'You hear that, Consortium? Are you watching, Travis? You know what you need to do. You know the right thing, the fair thing to do. Zane deserves a rematch, and you’re going to give it to him at the Massive Melee. I support him on that. Me? I have something else to do that night. The same thing I’ve done at the Massive Melee each of the last two years. UGWC has held two Massive Melees, and you all know who won them. Eden Morgan. This year is going to be more different. There is no one who can stop me. Not Travis Pierce. Not you, out there! NOBODY CAN STOP ME!'
I can't even watch this anymore without shaking my head sadly everytime Eden is on the screen. As she spirals further and further out of touch, I can't help but wonder where I went wrong. She's told me over and over, but I just can't accept it. Nothing could warrant this madness. She's so much better than this. Is there anything left of her? I'm starting to doubt it.
6-Feb-15
Nate saw right through my proposal to fly out and check in on the Sheffield Charter that started up last year. Although he intended to get around to it, he reminded me that the decision to go nomad with him was mine alone, and he knew just why I wanted to be in the UK that week.
Travis called me a week ago to remind me he had to fill in the last of the Global Challenge spaces, and I was still welcome. I declined. He also reminded me that Cyp was flying out to make a surprise appearance, and it would make a tremendous statement if the two of us ended up in the ring surrounding Zane. He said the organization is slowly devolving into a confederation of bad guys, and it's getting harder and harder to pick out the good anymore.
Nate reminded me that this was part of the reason I wanted to get away from it. As far as either of us can see, there isn't anything worth salvaging there anymore.
I feel bad for Chaos.
25-Jan-15
Travis has really expanded the Network!
Not the PMN... which apparently is Bryson Enterprises now. Whatever.
They didn't just give him Creative Control over the booking, but put him in charge of linking up the UGWC-N with renewed social media vigor, and he's gotten coverage on several new sports entertainment outlets. It's great to see him doing so well.
It's too bad Edie couldn't be right there with him. Her old optimism and self assurance was refreshing, and they'd get a kick out of her personality. It sucks that the shine has gone out of her smile. Everytime I see her on Synergy, it's like a blank page that's been filled with the angry scratches of a child's black crayon.
Where'd you go, Edie? I miss you.
19-Jan-15
Headed for Flagstaff Charter. Got wind that the Treasurer is skimming club money for a stock market scheme. Nineteen year old prospect caught on and disappeared. Nate's quiet--I haven't seen him like this since right after we got Jez back from Dragon.
It's strange how he can flip a switch like that... he's usually kind of soft spoken, a nice guy. Kind of the favorite uncle kind of vibe. Right now he looks like he could shove a knife in your gut, twist it, and walk away without batting an eye.
10-Jan-15
San Diego Charter is going to be the first stop. Nothing big, they just need bodies for a protection run.
This is going to be my first time getting involved in club business. I was a little worried that the SDDMW wouldn't appreciate a non-member riding along, but Nate assures me that his word is all they'll need. Being Cyp's brother in law helps, apparently.
2-Jan-15
It was almost impossible telling Travis no. He's gone along with everything for years now without hesitation. I feel responsible for everything that's happened to him. I talked him into the entire Dragon scheme. His participation was priceless, all the ideas he had... but he'd have never gotten involved if I hadn't brought him in. Everything that followed, the deaths, Eden breaking his heart, PMN falling into the enemies' hands... none of it would have happened if he hadn't followed someone he trusted into the most convoluted and irresponsible plot possible.
He reminded me that this was the endgame, the power and influence in the company we had worked so hard to gain. A spot in the Consortium, equal footing to Dexter Vines and Robert Ooley, a direct line to the Benefactor. Even with my injury, I could still have a role in the company.
It kills me to have to leave him to do it alone, but I know he can handle it.
I can't. Not anymore.
28-Dec-14
Spoke on the phone to Vines and Ooley today. They grudgingly agreed to let me hang on to my Talent Scout position. Riding around the country, I could easily drum up some new talent to send their way. Ooley's been talking about opening a training camp in New England.
Ran across a retired boxer in Chicago, Mark Stone. He's raw from cage fighting, but I think he could cut his wrestling teeth at Infinity. Reminds me a lot of me in the beginning. Also waiting on a call from Ichabod letting me know Larry's ready to join the roster. Two recruits, that should be enough to start.
Enough to keep me at arm's length.
25-Dec-14
Best Christmas in years.
Spending the week with Jez, the kids, Mom and Dad... it's been too long. It's nice to know there's something to come home to, afterall. The world is too big sometimes. Too full of uncontrollable variables. Familiarity is a welcome change from the strangeness of it all.
Cypress gave me his blessing to ride with Nate. Told me he'd stuff my stocking if I got preachy with the other charters. I told him I intended to add Vitamin Water to their taps.
20-Dec-14
'I have tremendous remorse for the acts of violence I've committed, both planned and spontaneous. But I think what brings me the most sorrow is that I've learned to justify this behavior. I always find a reason, a cause, a need that allows me the karmic lubrication to stuff my guilt into a savage compartment. I've become the thing, the one I hated. And with that awareness comes periods of days, sometimes weeks, when I have to avoid looking into a mirror. My self hate is so deep so palpable, I fear I'll lunge at my own image, shatter the glass and cut myself with shards of broken reflection.
Since my best friend betrayed me, I've lost my center. Now my doubt and sense of fraudulence bark so loudly in my head that most of the time I can't hear anything else.
All the things I want from this life are lost in the din'
-JNT